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the-office/data/normalization/compile/3-21.xml

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<SceneList>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[to Pam] Hey.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Dwight hands Jim a piece of paper] Oh, what's this?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That is a demerit.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[reads demerit] "Jim Halpert, tardiness." Ugh. I love it already.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You've gotta learn, Jim. You are second in command, but that does not put you above the law.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, I understand. And I also have lots of questions, like, what does a demerit mean?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[scoffs] Let's put it this way. You do not want to receive three of those.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Lay it on me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Three demerits and you'll receive a citation.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Now that sounds serious.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, it is serious. Five citations and you're looking at a violation. Four of those and you'll receive a verbal warning. Keep it up, and you're looking at a written warning. Two of those, that'll land you in a world of hurt... in the form of a disciplinary review written up by me and placed on the desk of my immediate superior.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Which would be me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That is correct.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, I want a copy on my desk by the end of the day or you will receive a full disadulation.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's a dis... what's that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, you don't want to know.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[door opens] Hey, Phyllis. You all right?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I think I just got flashed.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What? Really?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>In the parking lot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, my God.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[jumps out of his chair and runs for the door] Move!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, I'll call the real police.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What happened? What can I do to help?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on the phone] OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'll check the web.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on the phone] Thank you. [hangs up the phone] The police are on it. They say they've already had three calls.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[to Phyllis] Can you tell us what happened?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Um... I was walking to the building and this man asked me for directions. And he was holding a map. And when I walked over, he had it out... on the map.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Phyllis. You're a married woman.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The guy was just hanging brain. I mean, what's all the fuss?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>If that's flashing, then lock me up.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[whispering] It's just, like, so creepy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[whispering] Yeah. [Pam and Ryan whispering]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's happening?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, some guy exposed himself to Phyllis in the parking lot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Really? Is she OK?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, Bob Vance took her for a walk to calm down.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. [deep breath] Phyllis, you say? [snorts] Hmm. [suppressed laugher]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What is so funny?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Um... I mean did he even see Pam? Or, uh... Karen from behind?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm guessing not.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[laughing softly] I'm sorry. It's pretty funny when you think about it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mm... not really, no.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's disgusting and demeaning.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, OK. Masters of comedy. A guy dropped his pants. Have you ever been to the circus? [everyone glares] OK. [Michael puts his finger through his pant's zipper] He's back! [laughs] OK. Hmm. [babbling with his coat pulled closed] Waagh! [flashes everyone]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, what's going on? There's a police car in the...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What? Oh. [makes descending scale noise as his finger goes down]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's going on?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, Phyllis got flashed. It's, uh... [laughs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't think laughing about it is an appropriate response.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, come on. We are laughing at Phyllis, but she's not even here, so no harm, no foul.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't think the women in this office -</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Incidentally, where were you during all of this? Maybe you're the flasher.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I was at a parent-teacher conference.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh-huh. Prove it. Let's see your penis. [everyone is shocked] [exhales]I... you know, as that was coming out of my mouth, I knew that it was wrong.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>In all the excitement, I forgot that my primary goal is to keep people safe. Women can't have fun if they don't feel safe. For example, Jan and I have a safe word in case things go too far. Foliage. And if one of us says that word, the other one has to stop. Although last time... she pretended she didn't hear me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on speakerphone] Michael, ...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Huh?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>...come over after work tonight, OK? I miss your body.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't know. I feel... I drive a lot. I'm spending a fortune on gas and tolls -</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'll give you $200. And if I get up before you, I'll leave it on the dresser.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Um, that... I don't know. That makes me kind of uncomfortable.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>$300?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I... uh, well, I don't know.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know whatever. Just let my assistant know if you're coming over so he can get more vodka, OK? Hunter, are you on?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on speakerphone] You got it, Jan.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Hunter</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">hunter</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Employees of this office are very small and delicate. Deserve protection from local pervs. Better 1,000 innocent men are locked up than one guilty man roam free.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[exhales] I am sick over this thing. Those people out there are clearly afraid. And that can't happen. Not in my house.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Agreed. Let me show you what I've been working on.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[lays a folder full of pictures on Michael's desk] There are several penises there I'd love Phyllis to run her eyes over. You know, see if we can catch this pervert.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is the last thing that Phyllis needs to see right now, Dwight.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Look at that one.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dwight, are those your pants? That's a Polaroid. [Dwight takes the Polaroid and crumples it in his hand]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Attention, everybody. Dwight has something he would like to say.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Due to a recent incident involving Phyllis, a man, a map, and his penis - I think you know what I'm referring to - Michael has authorized me to form an emergency anti-flashing task force.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[raises hand] Question. Won't that interfere with your other task forces?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Answer: No, because this is being given priority one. This is a petition for the business park to upgrade their security cameras as well as install two floodlights in the parking lot. And I know... I know what you're thinking. [Pam nods] Won't that just shed more light on the penises? But that is a risk we have to take. Pam. You can draw, kind of. Why don't you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer that I can post around the community?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Phallus?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain. Back to work, everybody.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't often miss Roy. But I can tell you one thing. I wish someone had flashed me when I was with Roy. Because that would have been the ass-kicking of the year. [small laugh] Especially if it had been Jim. He would not have wanted me to have seen Jim's... Whoo, I am... I am saying a lot of things.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I didn't really get a good look.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's OK. I don't feel like answering phones.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, did you guys see this memo that Dwight sent out? [reads memo] "Women will be sent home if they wear makeup or heels exceeding 1/4 inch. Females are not allowed to speak to strangers unless given written authorization by Dwight Schrute." This is ridiculous.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Attention. I am removing all bananas from the kitchen.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dwight, this memo that you distributed is insulting.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Desperate times call for desperate measures.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[reads memo] "Sleeves down to the wrists, buttoned-up collars, and muted colors." Nobody dress like that. [camera pans over to Angela]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, you know something, Dwight? We are not the terrorists. Why don't you just take these women, put 'em in a burlap sack, and hit 'em with a stick? Because that's what you're doing. I celebrate these women. They deserve the right to dress as they please. If Pam wants to show more cleavage, she should be able to. I encourage that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Look, it's really simple. We just want you guys to treat us with respect.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>See? That's what we're talking about. Did you hear that, Dwight?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes. Did you hear that, Michael?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, Dwight. Respect. R-E-S-P-svee-T. Find out what it means to me. All right, you know what? That's it. Conference room, five minutes. Women's appreciation.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wait a second, how are you qualified for that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, I don't know, James. Did I come from a woman? Have I slept with a woman? More than one?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[eating banana] Mm, less than three.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That is not current.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what? Why doesn't Oscar run the meeting? He's a homosexual.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Why don't you run the meeting? You play with dolls.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Those are collectible action figures and they're worth more than your car.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what? I am the expert. I will conduct it. I know the crap out of women.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I, um... would like to apologize for all of the men who thought this was a laughing matter.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Are we still discussing this? I say again, what is the big deal?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nobody likes to be flashed. When Meredith flashed me at that Christmas party, I nearly vomited.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't remember doing that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What a surprise.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, no catfights. Please. Let's - my point is... my point is... a penis, when seen in the right context, is the most wonderful sight for a woman. But in the wrong context, it is like a monster movie.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Alien. Blagh!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What are...? Shut it. Shut. Up. OK, so what I want to engage us in today is a hardcore discussion about women's problems and issues and situations. Magazines and TV shows and movies portray women as skinny, tall goddesses. Well, look around. Are women like that? No. No, they are not. [points to Pam] Even the hot ones aren't really that skinny. So what does that say? That says that you women are up against it. And it is criminal. Society doesn't care. Society sucks. I don't even consider myself a part of society. FYI. Because I am so angry over all of this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>If it were up to me, you ladies would be the fashion models.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, Andy. Then the fashion models could come here and work with me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What you're saying is extremely misogynistic.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes. Thank you. That was not necessary, but I appreciated it. And I proves my point. Women can do anything.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm saying that you're being sexist.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No. I'm being misogynistic. That is insane. I am not being sexist.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That - it's the same thing.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>When I got my hair cut short, you asked me if I was a lesbian.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Because wha... that was one possible explanation as to why you got that haircut.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And when we get mad, you always ask us if we're on our periods.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I have to know whether you're serious or not.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I wish I could menstruate.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>If I could menstruate, I wouldn't have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I'd just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I'd be more in tune with the moon and the tides.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Can we just get back to work?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ye - OK, yes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is not work talk.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're right. You're right, you're right. And you know why? It's because of where we are. This is a masculine environment. We need to find a place where you feel comfortable. You know where we're gonna go? The Steamtown Mall. [Kelly gasps]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Frankly, it's kind of insulting. But I have a bunch of stuff I need to return in my car. So... I could do that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Malls are just awful and humiliating. They're just store after store of these horrible salespeople making a big fuss out of an adult shopping in a junior's section. There are petite adults who are sort of... smaller who need to wear... maybe a kids' size 10.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, let's go, ladies of Dunder-Mifflin. Hey, we should have a calendar printed up. Pam, put that in my good idea folder. [Pam nods] Let's go!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Have you finished with the sketch?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hmm, doesn't seem like the type.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, Phyllis got a good look.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hmm.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Pam's sketch looks like Dwight with a mustache, but without his glasses] I plan on plastering this pervert's face everywhere. You can run, but you cannot hide.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[tires screeching] Oh.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Meredith, slow down! We're not gonna get there any faster if we're dead.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thanks. I know how to drive. [dumps the crumbs from a bag of chips she was eating into her mouth and throws it out the window]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, yeah. You really shouldn't litter.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>My car, my rules.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Jim. You wanna go in the women's bathroom?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No. Thank you, though.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You aren't curious?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not really. I've seen a bathroom before.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, but... it's every guy's fantasy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I think you mean a girl's locker room. And in the fantasy, there's usually girls in it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[quietly] Yeah. I'm going in.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Go crazy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in women's bathroom] Oh... my... God.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I really appreciate your letting me work alongside you so closely today.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Of course you do, moon face. That's because you're a preppy freak, you're the office pariah, and nobody likes you. So start hanging these all around the building.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This guy looks like a real deviant.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, duh. That's why we gotta catch him. Start hanging those.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Aye, aye, Cap'n.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>More like, "Aye, aye, General."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Meredith parking the car] I don't think she's gonna make it. Don't think she's gonna make it - [metal scraping]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's a little too tight. I'm gonna find another spot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Many women are competent drivers. [scraping] OK. Come on.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[marks Scranton with a red pushpin on a map of Pennsylvania and exhales] This is what we know.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in women's bathroom] Well, I stand corrected. This is pretty cool.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, uh... where'd you decide to take Karen tonight?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Anna Maria's.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's the occasion?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Six-month anniversary. What?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nothing - I think, uh, we all kinda thought you guys were just, like, hooking up.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, we've been dating for six months.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, she might mention an email that I wrote a while back, um -</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, right. I remember that one. She read it to me. She said she's not really ready to date somebody in the office, but she really likes you as a friend.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I figured. It's cool. I don't - I wouldn't want to be in an office relationship anyway.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right. Hope nobody's on a diet.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thanks, Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thank you, Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're welcome. You're welcome, you're welcome. OK. So, let's dish.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What do you want to dish about?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Anything you guys want. This is your time. [everyone is silent or continues to eat, Michael exhales] Mm. What is a Pap smear? Or is it "shmear?" Like the cream cheese.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. New topic. Kelly, how are things with Ryan?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Awesome. Um, awful, I mean. But, uh, sometimes awesome.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What, um... what do you think of role-play?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, it can be fun.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah? Well, Jan has this schoolgirl fantasy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's a pretty common one.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I just... I feel uncomfortable wearing the dress.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. I'm gonna be at the doll store.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Sometimes, the clothes at GapKids are just too flashy. So I'm forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael, you shouldn't do anything that you're uncomfortable with.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jan says anything that doesn't scare us is not worth doing. I don't know. Maybe we're different people. I like cuddling and spooning and she likes videotaping us during sex.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, my God.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[groans] And then watching it back right afterward to improve my form.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That is not healthy behavior.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, it's not that bad. The worst part is that she shows it to her therapist and they discuss it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael, you need to get out of this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, she's... she's fooling around. It's a woman thing.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, normal women don't do stuff like that. This is bad. [Karen nods and Michael looks like he's about to start crying]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No... No, it's all right. I'm OK. I'm OK. [sniffing] You guys... what are we gonna do about Jan? [sighs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Read the pros first.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. Jan is smart. Uh, successful. Good clothes. Hot. Perfect skin. Nice butt.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She does have very nice clothes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, OK. Um, cons.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Cons. Wears too much makeup. Breasts:</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wow, I cannot believe this yogurt has no calories.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No one said it has no calories.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, hey, guys. I want to do something nice for you, because you did something so nice for me earlier. I want you to go in there. I want you to buy one item on me as a thank-you. [Kelly sprints inside Victoria's Secret] Come on. Get in here.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Let's face it, most guys are from the Dark Ages. They're caveman. And they like a woman to be showing her cleavage and to be wearing 8-inch heels, and to be wearing, um, see-through underpants. But... for me, a woman looks best when she is just absolutely naked.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in women's bathroom] This is so great, huh? We should do this much more often.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I-I think we hang out an appropriate amount of time.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What are you doing in here? This is the women's room.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're in here.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I pay for that privilege. [goes into stall]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[all get up to leave] OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[wearing headphones and speaking loudly] I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times and I have paid dearly.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mm. You don't want anything? My treat. Some panties or... pick a thong or... G-string. T-back. Get a nice bra. Padded bra. See-through, push-up, lace? Thigh-high? Bustier? Any - it just - you know what, I would love to buy you a fresh set of underwear.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Phyllis. What do you think? Too much?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jim's gonna love it. [Karen giggles]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm kind of in-between boyfriends right now. So I don't need anything sexy. But I do need some new hand towels. I figure I can cut up this robe.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in the car] Slower. Slower. Meredith. [Michael's cell phone ringing My Humps] Slow it up.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh. Oh, no. [inhales sharply] It's Jan. What do I do?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Answer it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't answer it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, it stopped.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[bang] Whoa.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[tires screeching] Crap.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[snickers at Pam's sketch] That is pretty cool.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael, you know how to, um -change a wheel, right?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, yeah. Yep. Um... Could somebody grab me the lever, and I will...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Here, uh... Meredith? Why don't you put your hazards on.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, get your hazards on for safety. Let's see. [takes off his coat and tosses it aside] There we go! [Pam brings over the jack and lug wrench] Good. Yes, we have the... all right. [tries the use the jack to loosen the lug nuts]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I think I've got it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you have a... a crescent? A crescent Allan?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't think we really need that, Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh... you know what? I'm going to... you take care of that. I'm gonna do traffic... detail.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know, I changed a tire today. All by myself. This bathrobe's already coming in handy. [Meredith honking] Coming!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Think we'll find him?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, I do. 'Cause justice never rests.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[pulls a candy bar from his coat pocket] Halvsies?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No. Wholesies. [snatches the candy bar]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Listen, man, I really appreciate you letting me shadow you today. I feel like I learned a lot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Natch. [bites off a lot of candy bar]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yep. If you don't mind, I think I'll hang some of these posters around my neighborhood. Schools, post office, et cetera.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know, I may have underestimated you. You're not a total ass. [coughs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, I am really going to do this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Good luck, Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what? I need my girls with me. Pam, Karen, even Phyllis. Come on. Let's do this. Let's do it. [sighs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, remember, be strong.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I love you guys. Now I'm getting her voicemail.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't leave a -</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[leaving a message] Hey, Jan. It's me, Michael. I'm just calling to say that I think we need a little break, permanently. And, uh, I know everybody says this, but I-I wanna remain friends. Or at least business associates who get along. Oh, just so you know, it's not me, it's you. [Jan walks in] OK, buddy. Somebody just walked in. I have to go. Um, so I'll talk to you later.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael... [clears throat] I was, um... I was really unhappy with our conversation earlier. And I... I just - I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I decided that I would drive down here and apologize to you in person. So... [takes Michael's hand] I'm sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thank you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So... we're good?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Abso-fruit-ly.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[cell phone vibrates] Oh. Hold on, I'm sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No... No...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>One second. Oh! It's from you. Uh, you wanna grab some dinner?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. [voice on phone] "It's me, Michael. I'm just calling to say that I think we need a little break, permanently. And, uh, I know everybody says this, but I want..."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Maybe some Italian. [voice on phone] "... to remain friends. Or at least business associates -" [Jan takes the phone away from her ear] Chinese? [voice on phone] "who get along. Oh, just so you know, it's not me, it's you. OK, buddy."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh. [door closes]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[sighs] Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable. There's a wishing fountain at the mall. And I threw a coin in for every woman in the world and made a wish. I wished for Jan to get over me. I wished for Phyllis, a plasma TV. I wished for Pam to gain courage. I wished for Angela, a heart, and for Kelly, a brain. "Michael, how can you appreciate women so much but also dump one of them?" You mean, how can I be so illogical and flighty and unpredictable and emotional? Well, maybe I learned something from women after all.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[phone rings] Dunder-Mifflin paper/sex predator hotline, this is Dwight Schrute.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Dwight. It's Jim.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jim, what are you doing? I'm busy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, you're not. I'm looking right at you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ugh. I'm hanging up.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't. [quietly] I have information about the sex predator.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You have information about the sex predator?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I saw him two minutes ago.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Where?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>In the women's bathroom, above the sink.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[hangs up and runs to the women's bathroom] Anti-flashing task force! Above the sink. Above the sink. Hmm. [sees himself in the mirror with two black marks on the mirror making a mustache, removes his glasses and figures it out] PAM!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So how are you liking the Wall Street Journal subscription?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Love it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Are you reading it everyday, like we decided you would?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, yes, I am.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Good, good, it's the best business reporting isn't it?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, yeah, it's okay. Its just, I don't think the cartoons are very funny.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wait, wait, what cartoons?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The a cartoon that goes with each article. This one says Mel Karmazin? I don't, I don't know. I guess I get it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Sigh]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We should really start recycling.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Right uh, Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, what's going on?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Phyllis got flashed in the parking lot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Screams]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, you need to stop that right now.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Phyllis, you okay? You sure?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Bob</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">bob</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey good lookin', what ya got cookin'?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I got nothing cooking, it's cooked. It's borscht and its served cold.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey listen, I'm sure everyone's already told you but, your presentation out there, was pretty inspiring stuff. Must be nice being a woman around here, knowing they have a protector in you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>If you are trying to kiss my ass, I would not suggest it. Believe me, you do not want to kiss this ass.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Borscht, according to Dwight it's best served cold. You know what else is best served cold? Yeah, gazpacho. You see what I'm doing? I am establishing a mutual love of cold soups. This is the first step in my plan to win Dwight's trust.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I should make you my vichyssoise.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I will never be your vichyssoise.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Orgasms, why can women have them? Yep?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No. I'm not a lawyer, but I don't think this is the place to do this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be a woman. I have a full-length mirror in my bathroom, and before I get dressed I will tuck myself between my legs just to see. And, um, it's uncomfortable. So maybe I do understand.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[sings] We're going to the mall. Bye Ryan, bye.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Lets go, fall out, let's go. Move, move, move, move, move.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I got shotgun. Damn it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Let me be clear. There's only one thing that's important to me, and its not friendship. Its dominance, and I think I know a thing or two about dominating. Okay, I lived with a dominatrix for three years in Stamford. Mistress Lila. Taught me more than any college professor I ever had, while attending Cornell, which is where I went to school.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Look at that! Come on! Free underwear!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It is totally inappropriate, but on the other hand...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Pam, how bout something like that for you. Could sort of cover up any imperfections in the mid section. Just show off the twins a little bit.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's pretty cool.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You can make people believe anything. Today I made Dwight believe I like cold soups. Why? I don't know. I don't have to know. That's what makes me so dangerous.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Idiot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I learned a lot about women today. And any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable. Jan and I broke up. Why? Because she didn't like one message I left on her voicemail? But that is her peariagative. I thought I understood women, but maybe, can't believe I'm gonna say this, maybe, women don't understand themselves.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
</SceneList>
Reference in New Issue View Git Blame Copy Permalink