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the-office/data/normalization/compile/5-03.xml

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<SceneList>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[looking pregnant] Hey Michael?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Contractions are coming every ten minutes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, just remember to keep breathing.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>My cervix is ripening.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, good.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[drawing two family trees on a whiteboard] Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now, this baby will be related to Michael through [draws a question mark] delusion.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael! My water's breaking!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, OK! OK!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Aaaaaaaa! What do you do? What do you do?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I get a call from Jan and I meet her at the hospital.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Right. Highways or surface roads?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I take Quincy Ave to Gibson.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, Gibson is covered in potholes. Your car breaks down. Adapt!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I checked the route - there are no potholes. Come on, get in here and have the baby.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's about adapting to the circumstances.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[annoyed] Andy, would you like to have my baby?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes! Yeah. [squatting and pushing] Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No. OK, no. I'm crowning! I'm crowning! Aaaaaaaa! [runs into Michael's office]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right, OK. [to Andy] Sorry. Sorry. Here we go. Here we go!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The pressure! The pressure!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do it! Do it! Scream! Scream it out, scream it out, scream it out.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Aaaaaaaa!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Aaaaaaaa!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up, I performed my own circumcision.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Just keep pushing...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[lying on Michael's desk] Hold me!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm right here.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Cradle my head!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm right here, I'm right here.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm screaming, I'm screaming, I'm screaming! Aaaaaaaa!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[annoyed] All right. Dwight. Just push and breathe.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Numb me up. I want anesthesia!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Shhh. No, you can't have it. It's too late.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No! I don't want natural!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No. You have to just push it out!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Keep simulating.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Aaaaaaaa!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you have the Sharpie?!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Keep simulating.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you have the Sharpie?!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, I do!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK! When the baby emerges, mark it secretly in a kind of a mark that only you could recognize and no baby snatcher can ever copy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ready?!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Aaaaaaaa!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Aaaaaaaa! It's coming! Here we go! [drops the watermelon onto the floor] Oh! God! Wow! What was on that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Butter. Newborns are slippery.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nice touch. Good. Let's try that again.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[eating the watermelon] It is going to be the happiest day of my life. [Dwight gets dressed behind Michael and zips his fly]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hello ladies, how's my shower going? Phyllis, did you get the live storks?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Damnit, Phyllis! I'm sorry. [more softly] Damnit, Phyllis. It was hard enough to convince Jan to come. So are we set for refreshments?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Per your instructions, we have the personalized M&amp;Ms with the baby names. This is your boy bowl, with the name "Chevy." And this is the girl bowl, with M&amp;Ms with the name "Astird."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That can't be right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael wrote down "Astird."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She said it is the name of a Viking princess. So...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ass...turd.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I know. I know. It is beautiful. No. Thank you. Is this it? I mean, is this... Two bowls of M&amp;Ms and some balloons? You know what Phyllis, I think you need to step it up. I think you need to get the lead out. Because if I'm not mistaken, we gave you your wedding shower here. We all came into this room and gave you a golden shower. Well you know what, where's my golden shower, Phyllis?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It does not matter to me at all whether this baby is biologically mine. I am going to love it. It's like when the dog nurses the tiger cub. Have you seen that video? It is... it's so bizarre and unnatural, but... it, it happens.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, I'm collecting for the baby shower.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>But Phyllis, it's not his baby.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I know, Kevin.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Why do we have to pay money to get a gift for his ex-girlfriend's unborn sperm bank baby?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Look at it as if you're paying for the cake, not the baby. Sheet cake.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I do enjoy being the head of the Party Planning Committee. I'm no longer under Angela's heel, and her little grape head is under mine.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[banging on the glass] Hey, hey. What are you doing? Don't talk to them.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Make the party. Don't - make the party, please, Phyllis. [Phyllis starts inflating a balloon with a pump] Pump it!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] So you know Stacy, right?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Right, the one from England.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>There's no one from England, Jim. Katie studied in Ireland - this is Stacy, the one who does the Murakami-style collages.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh. Right, that style.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So, Stacy and Eric get to Bogre's DeTech half an hour early so they don't have to sit on the slab.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Anyway, Bogre's TA Sarah Kaya comes in.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wait, who's Sarah Kayacombsen?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, Sarah Kaya comes in. Don't interrupt, I have like thirty seconds to finish this and get to DigiPres.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So Sarah Kaya says to Eric, "No way. You can't reserve seats." And Stacy gets all up in her face and Sarah Kaya picks up Stacy's new PM pad and throws it at the light box.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[clearly just humoring her] No... way!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ha ha. That's hilarious?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, it's horrible! Jim, she might get arrested.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Who, Stacy?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, Stacy is a boy. Ugh. Frustrating. Why can't you just be in art class with me?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, wait, I gotta go, class starting. [hangs up]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, I'll ta...I'll talk to you later. [hangs up] That was a good story.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Who's Sarah Kayacombsen?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yo. I got the Nard-puppy for ya. What's going on here?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's a baby game where you guess whose picture is whose.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Awww. Check it out - who would have thought that this little baby would be marrying that little baby?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's Phyllis.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well -</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, it is. So I hope you two are very happy together. Pervert.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Why would that make me a pervert, I -</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, it does. That's me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's not you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes it is.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's mean, come on, that's - [Angela storms out]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ahoy, matey.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ahoy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ahoy. So, how you doin'?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Good.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Um, listen. Jan Levinson is coming in today, and she is in the terminal stages of her pregnancy - the child of which I have a vested interest. It's all kind of weird. Anyway, she is incredibly... fat and enormous right now - extremely unattractive. And you are, on the other hand, one of the more attractive people in the office. So, while she's here I am going to be acting kind of cold to you. And I am doing this to pay respect to her bloated feelings. And I'm treating Ryan the same way.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Of course. Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They're always complaining. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles, I'm constantly hungry - do you think my nipples don't get sore too? Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Jan enters the office, pushing a stroller] Jan.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hi, Jim!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What do we have here?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is my baby.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Really...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh no... [Michael enters and notices Jan's baby]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jan had the baby and Michael wasn't there to mark it. So the baby could be anybody's. Except Michael's.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So this is Astird.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Astrid.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, OK. Why didn't you call me?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, um, you know, labor just kind of started very suddenly and-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I could have helped.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And the birth instructor thought it wasn't a good idea for you to be there, so...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, man. Him? That guy? He had no sense of humor and I proved him wrong in so many ways.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, you don't have any idea what I've been through, so, let's...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, I don't!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm sorry, I thought today at the baby shower would be a good time for the two of you to meet.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Can I hold her?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, yes you can. You know, I think, just leave her in the car seat. Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[cradling the car seat awkwardly] All right, OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me, and I think it's because they see me as one of them. But cooler, and with my life put together a little bit. If a baby were president, there would be no taxes, there would be no war. There would be no government, and things could get terrible. It actually, probably - it would be a better screenplay idea than a serious suggestion.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[carrying the car seat] Ladies and gentlemen, it is my privilege and honor to present for the first time in her life and in the office:</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ready to play some games? Let's do it!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael, the baby's already been born.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, duh.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So we had games planned but the baby ruins all of them.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, the baby doesn't ruin anything, Kevin, OK? The baby multiplies the fun. Let's just do what you were going to do.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK... Who wants to guess when the baby will be born?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right, how about some presents? I want to see some presents. [holding a memo pad] I got this so I can write down for thank-you notes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thank you. That's very sweet of you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Whatta we got?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Um, we all chipped in and got you this stroller.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thank you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She already has a stroller.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And this is way worse than the stroller she came with.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She's got an Orbit; that's a twelve hundred dollar stroller.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Huh. Twelve hundred dollars for a stroller? Phhhbt.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, what else?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Twelve hundred dollars is what I spent on my whole bomb shelter. For that kind of money, this stroller should be indestructible. [straps the watermelon into the stroller on the elevator]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[singing "Son of a Preacher Man" to Astrid] Being good isn't always easy / No matter how hard I try / When he started sweet-talking to me / He'd come and tell me everything is all right / He'd kiss and tell me everything is all right / Can I get away again tonight / The only one...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey you!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] Hey! You busy?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not even. I'm doing laundry for the first time in like a month.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, OK, so you gotta hear this. So, Jan's shower is going on right now, and she's singing "Son of a Preacher Man" and everyone's just staring at her.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I can't hear anything, there's like, there's like machines going-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The song is about losing your virginity next to a church, and guess what - she's been singing for the last twenty minutes!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I can't hear anything!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh. OK, well you know what, I um, just call me later.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm not frustrated. Even if I were in Scranton, Jim and I would have days like this. We're just... a little out of sync. You know, that's all. Oh, great. I washed my lipstick.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[now belting out the lyrics, even though Astrid is asleep] How well I remember / The look that was in his eyes / Stealing kisses from me on the sly / Taking time to make time / Telling me that he's all mine / Learning from each other's knowing / Looking to see how much we've grown / And the only one...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[heaving the stroller into a tire yard] Don't hit the fence. Oh no, my child!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[throwing the stroller against a high chain link fence] Don't get stuck on the barbed wire!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[tossing the stroller off a tall heap of tires] Playtime is over!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So Jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, actually, I, uh, I had a tub birth. And it was really, really quite amazing.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You gave birth in a tub?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, it's a really nice transition from womb to world, you know, kind of like a big womb.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Um, so you're in the tub with everything?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, yeah, the afterbirth floats, yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh no, it's actually really hygienic, Creed.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ugh.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm done.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Me too.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And after the birth you get out and deliver the afterbirth. [everyone starts leaving]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey! Hey, no no no no no no no no. No. No. This is the birth story. It was beautiful. It was beautiful. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And I should have been there. I should have been there to witness this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I could have helped.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're sad about this. I know that, and I wish that I... but... would it help if you held Astrid for just a, a little bit?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[smiling] Uh, yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right. Um, I'm just going to lie down for a couple of minutes. I'm exhausted, so um. Remind me to talk to you about Astrid's 529. Wake me in twenty.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[voiceover] I usually love babies, but when I held Astrid I just felt... shortchanged.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Phyllis? Could you take-.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey guys.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's up, Mike?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, I need some advice from one baby daddy to another.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You a baby daddy?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, I a baby daddy. Um, when you first became a baby daddy, did you have an immediate connection with that baby? Like, the first time that you held it, did you find that with your baby baby?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hell yeah. You know why? Because that was my baby.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I just saw this baby daddy-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You should stop calling yourself "baby daddy."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Why, Darryl, because I'm quote white quote unquote?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Because you're not a daddy, and it's not your baby.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You feel connected to his baby over there?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's- that's different.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You feel connected to this? [hold up his back brace]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's not a baby.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You want to hold me, to see how you feel?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[sighs] Could I?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[wakes up on the reception couch] Oh. I was just catching up on my sleep.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I can imagine.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Where's Astrid?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, I think she's on a sales call.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>On a what?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Waaa! More paper! Waaa! [she cracks herself up but Jan is unimpressed] No, she's just on a coffee break.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[sarcastically] That's funny.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She's with Angela.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[with Astrid covered in and surrounded by vegetables on a lunch table] That's good. Now, I need you to - I need it to look up here. Get the baby to look up here, ready?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. Yeah. Look at my finger. Look. Looook!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Now. Come on, up here!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Look up here!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Your hand's in it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What? Sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, that's a good one.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What are you doing? What's going on? Excuse me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We're taking a picture.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[picking up Astrid] There you are.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She's nature's bounty.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You don't flash around a newborn baby. Don't you know that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael, I need your help.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[sees Holly behind Jan] I was just going to... I was going to talk to Holly, about her hygiene. She smells like old tomatoes and dirt.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh... come on.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I like to call this... the bumper test. [drags the stroller behind his car and runs into it several times]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Sure you can't stay a little longer?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, no, Michael, you know what? I really have to go.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right. All right, everybody, we're leaving. Jan and Astrid are leaving.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what, where is the stroller that I came in with?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh. I took the liberty of putting it in your trunk.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ah. Thanks, Dwight.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. You know what? There is, uh, there is one more thing that you can do for me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't date Holly.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wha - that's, I hate her. Wha - God! Why would you even ask me to - I, I mean, not that it matters, 'cause I don't, but wha - OK, all right, fine.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thanks for the baby shower. It was great. And I'll see you... soon.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You still gonna be mean to me?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[just hugs her, and she hugs him back and smiles] You wanna go out?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I didn't feel much when I held Astrid, but I got a good feeling from Holly.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on voicemail] Hey, it's Jim. Leave a message.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hi.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on voicemail, because she's calling Jim at the same time] Hi, this is Pam. Leave a message.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[walking to his car] Hey, it's me. It is 5:03.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I figured I'd catch you walking to your car, but...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You must be out or something.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'll leave a message.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Is it me, or are we just a little off today?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I guess this is just one of those days. It'll get better.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hope you didn't have any major laundry issues.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I finished my laundry. Got all my socks. Nothing like that time that crazy guy pushed you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Remember that time that I helped you do your laundry and that crazy guy came in and started yelling at you?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And then, remember, we went shopping the next day to buy me a washer and dryer?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yet here you are, back in a Laundromat. Now, I'm just trying to help you, Beesly. Be safe.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're probably upset that I'm even at a Laundromat right now. But, don't worry, I'm being safe. And I'm headed home. I'm... headed to my dorm. Not home.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wish you were home. Uh, anyway...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Anyway, um... I miss you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I miss you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right, how about we play the game where we guess how big the mother's belly is?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh! OK!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How many squares of toilet paper go around the waist?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Does that mean there's no toilet paper in the bathroom?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Kevin, relax.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, you know what, I don't think I need to do this one, because I only gained twelve pounds and I'm just going to get rid of all of that, so...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Seventeen. I say seventeen squares.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, give me the roll. I'll do it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do the boobs!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, we're not doing my boobs, Michael. OK, seven, someone give me the prize. [to Astrid] Oh, it's OK...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Did she really just have a baby? She's so beautiful.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh yeah. Wait 'til you get to know her better though.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey! HR lady, stop whispering in the corner please. Very rude. You're ruining the party.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm starting to get a feeling for what life was like around here for Toby.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on the phone] It was terrible.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I know.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I prefer being stuck in a Costa Rican hospital.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Really?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Holly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">holly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not really.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey Jan, you went to a sperm bank?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, yes, I did.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I donated sperm.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Maybe I'm the father.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, this is a highly exclusive establishment.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Next to the IHOP?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, I paid for an ideal specimen.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Are you saying Kevin is not an ideal specimen?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is a wonderful shower, everyone. Thank you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[to camera] I might have done it with Jan!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's not Kevin's child. Can't possibly be. I mean, I don't know what I would do. Sue... icide?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Jan nurses Astrid with her top down, office workers try to work] Okay, 'Stridly, you want to try the other side? Okay, here we go. That's good. Oh, good job.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jan? What's new?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what, Kevin? Why don't you just go ahead and stare? Because, you know, it's, it's fine with me. I mean, this is sooo natural, and so beautiful, and...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Seriously? You're okay with that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Of course. I mean, there's nothing erotic about this, you know, it's, it's, it's what these [shakes a breast] were made for, you know, I mean they're full of baby milk, they're... nourishing my baby, so... [tosses head proudly, Creed comes up to stand next to Kevin, staring directly at Jan's chest] Michael!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hello, spoiled little baby, [to a watermelon] in your fancy brand name stroller. Mmm, I wonder if it's as safe as they say it is. Oh, look, a curb. Uh oh, let's see what happens... [lets it go, it flies off the curb, stays upright, and stops safely] Inconclusive. [pushes it out into the street, it rolls to a stop] Spartans would leave a weak baby by the side of the road. My parents left me beside the road. I crawled home.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not so weak, huh, Mom?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Gosh, Mommy feels like taking a jog. [runs with stroller] Oh, no! Mommy forgot to wear a bra, and her big fake boobs are really hurting her, and she needs to let go, she can't control the stroller any longer [forcefully pushes stroller away toward uneven ground with junk strewn around, the stroller hits some junk, stays upright, and stops safely]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Let's see what this baby can do... [drives car fast, holding stroller alongside the car, stroller remains fine] Aaaah! Aa-aaah! [throws it ahead of the car, it goes for a while and then is stopping] It's a hardy stroller. [takes watermelon out of stroller, holds it up to show camera] Maybe it's safe!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
</SceneList>
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