mirror of
https://github.com/Xevion/the-office.git
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1682 lines
67 KiB
XML
Vendored
1682 lines
67 KiB
XML
Vendored
<SceneList>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah, I'm not a temp anymore. I got Jim's uh, old job. Which means at my 10 year high school reunion it will not say "Ryan Howard is a temp." It will say "Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm. ...that'll show 'em.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[after "the kiss"] You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Me too. ...I think we're just drunk.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No I'm not drunk. Are you drunk?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No... [Jim leans in for another kiss] Jim--</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Are you really gonna marry him? [Pam nods] ...Ok.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[sobbing] Jim is gone. He's gone. I miss him so much. Ooooh I cry myself to sleep, Jim! [serious] False. I do not miss him.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No! That is the fun of this place. I call everybody "faggie". Why would anybody find that offensive?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>OK I think Oscar would just like if you used "lame" or something like that.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">toby</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>That's what faggie means!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No not really...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">toby</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Apparently you called Oscar "faggie" for liking the movie Shakespeare in Love more than an action movie.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">toby</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>It wasn't just an action movie, it was Die Hard!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>All right Michael, but Oscar's really gay.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">toby</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Exactly!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I mean for real.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">toby</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah, I know.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No, I mean he's attracted to other men.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">toby</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>OK, a little too far, crossed the line.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>OK, I am telling you, Oscar is an actual homosexual. Yeah, he told me this morning. And, obviously he hopes he can count on your discretion.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">toby</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I would have never called him that if I knew. You don't... You don't call retarded people "retards". It's bad taste. You call your friends "retards" when they're acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Listen man, I am so sorry. I had no idea.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No, it's fine.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No. No it's not. I feel terrible about it. I have been calling people "faggie" since I was in junior high, and I have never made this mistake. If I don't know how to behave, it is because I am just so far the opposite way, you know? I'm just... I, I can't even imagine... the... thing. Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime. And you could tell me... how... you do that to another dude.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>That sounds like a great, wonderful idea, let's do that.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[in reference to Oscar being gay] It explains so much.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No, I'm not gay. And I don't understand why anyone would think, that I'm gay... if... [sighs] Uh... yeah I'm gay.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I can't say whether Dunder Mifflin paper is less flammable, sir, but I can assure that it is certainly not more flammable.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Why did I transfer to Stamford? I think that's pretty obvious. I got promoted! And you can't beat that view... right?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, Big Tuna! You're single right?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Uh-huh, yeah. I am.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>She's pretty hot huh? [Jim nods] She's completely crazy. Steer clear Big Tuna. Head for open waters.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>OooOK.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>OooOK.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I ate a tuna sandwich, on my first day. So, Andy started calling me Big Tuna. ...I don't think any of them actually know my real name.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Big Tuna is a super ambitious guy, you know? Cut your throat to get ahead kind of guy, but I mean I'm not threatened by him. I went to Cornell, you ever heard of it? [laughs] I graduated in four years. I never studied once. I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the acappella group, "Here Comes Treble."</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>So, end of day we are going to have a little diversity policy refresher, because of some more problems at the Scranton branch. And I have a list of business startups I got from the chamber. Yes, I am going to need someone to cold call them.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Josh</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="recurring">josh</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oh, I can do that.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Jim's nice enough. I dont... I don't know how well he's fitting in here. He's always looking at the camera like this. [makes classic "Jim"-camera face] What is that?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">karen</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Can you tell who's gay and who's not?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Of course.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>What about Oscar?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Absolutely not.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Well, he is.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Well, he's not dressed in women's clothes, so...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[deep sigh] There could be others... I need to know. I don't want to offend anybody else.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah, I'm sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
|
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, what about Angela? She's hard and severe. She could be a gay woman.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I really don't think so.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I don't know, I can imagine her with another woman, can't you?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[creepy smile]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
|
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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|
<Characters>
|
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Do some research. Find out if there's a way to tell by just looking at them.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jim told me you could buy gay-dar online.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's ridiculous.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah probably. He didn't tell the truth a lot.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[sighs] Let's call him and get the website.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Definitely.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What's gay-dar? Oh, oh, gay-dar, yes! No, uh, I think they have it at Sharper Image. Oh, you know what? I could check for you. No problem. [loudly fake typing] It's sold out! Yeah sorry about that, that's a bummer.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, they're sold out.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Damn. [thinks] I'll try Brookstone.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I miss that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Chicken or fish?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Roy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="recurring">roy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[loud sigh] Chicken.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So you havin' a good day?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Roy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="recurring">roy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Excellent, thanks.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Good, glad. OK.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Roy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="recurring">roy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, I didn't go through with the wedding. I got cold feet, a few days before. And I can't really explain it. I just had to get out of that relationship. We still had to pay for all the food. So we froze it. But I'm, I'm doing well. I have my own apartment. I'm taking art classes. And I have lunch for the next five weeks.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>After Pam dumped me, I um, I kinda stopped taking care of myself there, and uh, I hit bottom when uh, drunk driving arrest. I've been working out and um, you know, I'm not gonna take her for granted. I gotta win her back.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Roy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="recurring">roy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That is so cool that you're gay. I totally underestimated you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes I'm super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company, Scranton. Much like, um, sir Ian McClellan.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sure, sometimes I watch Will and Grace... and I want to throw up. It's terribly loud. I do like it sometimes when Harry Connick Jr. is on. He's so talented.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK. Who put my calculator in Jello? Good one. But uh, seriously, guys who did this? Seriously guys, who did this? I need to know who put my calculator in Jello, or I'm gonna lose MY FRICKIN' MIND!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know, it's amazing to me that in this day and age, you could be so obtuse about sexual orientation.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I watch the L Word. I watch, Queer as F***, so...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's not what it's called.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, Michael, are you aware that you ousted Oscar today?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What? What does that even...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Coming out, is a significant moment for a gay person, and they should be allowed to select the timing and manner of announcing it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, gay pride, right? Gay pride parade? It's not like gay... shame festival.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right, now Oscar's feeling discriminated against by his co-workers, primarily Angela, and um, that's your fault.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I think Angela might be gay. Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair? Maybe! Is that what this is about?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>NO!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't kn-</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, it's not possible.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Anything's possible.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know, imagine... you were gay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[laughs] Well, I'm not gay Jan, and you should know that better than anybody!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael, your immaturity is extremely disappointing and may even lead to a lawsuit which is the absolute last thing this company needs right now. Do you understand?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>The company has made it my responsibility today to put an end to 100,000 years of being weirded out by gays.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Am I the first gay man you ever knew?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Trick question! Cause you can't always tell, so... how would I know. Is that the right answer?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael, Dwight's looking at gay pornography on his computer.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, Michael knows Pam. He asked me to do this just for him. He has his own reasons.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[looking at gay porn] Nothing wrong with this stuff. At all. This is fine. You know what. Gay porn, straight porn, it's all goooooood! I don't particularly get into this. But uh, you know what. I totally see the merit! And actually... it is quite beautiful.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ah damn pop-ups.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What are you doing?!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Watching some of your friends.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[yelling] All right, everybody in the conference room! I don't care if you are gay, or straight, or a lesbian, or overweight! JUST GET IN HERE! RIGHT NOW!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Did you know that gay used to mean happy? When I was growing up it meant lame. And now it means a man, who makes love... to other men.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We're all homos! Homosapiens. Gays aren't necessarily who you think they are, people. I mean anybody could be gay. Business-men. Like antique dealers, or hairdressers, or... accountants. Oscar, why don't you take this opportunity to officially come out, to everybody here. However you want to do it. Go ahead. Stand up. I'm doing this for you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes I'm gay. And I didn't plan on sharing that part of my life with you today, so, whatever. Can I sit down now?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the sixties I made love to many many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain. And it was possible a man slipped in, and there would be no way of knowing.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Who should be the judges and juries of our society?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Judges and juries!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes, that's a good point. She has a good point. Because gay marriage currently is not legal, under U.S. law. I bet a lot of straight men wish that applied to them. So they could go out there and have some torrid unabashed monkey sex as much as they could. You know? Sounds pretty good, right?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That sounds great.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I think all the other office gays should identify themselves, or I will do it for them.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No one else in this office is gay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What about Phyllis? She makes absolutely no attempt to be feminine!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm getting married to Bob Vance.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's great. Congratulations Phyllis. That is great, and frankly kiiiiiiiind of amazing! [laughs] See? Everybody has a chance!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>But still, Phyllis, in college? Did you ever experiment with other women? A lot of women do!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, you knew me in high school. Course, we all thought you were gay in high school.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[laughing] Right! [serious] And I take that as a compliment.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well with your ties and your matching socks and --</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, I just like to look good OK, so --</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You sound pretty defensive Michael.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, I am just coming out myself. I am coming out hetero!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I think the problem with this office is that you are sending mixed signals about my being here.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No no no. The only signal that I am sending is: Gay, good.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Look, if I was gay, I would be the most flamboyant gay you have ever seen. I would be leading the parade covered in feathers, and just... I would be waving that rainbow flag.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't think I can work here any longer. This has been the worst, most backwards day of my life.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You misunderstand- OK. You know what, OK. I uh, I'm gonna put my money where my mouth is. You ready? I am going to embrace Oscar. You might want to watch this Angela, because you can't catch anything. Here we go. We are going to make a statement. You and I are going to make a statement together. Oscar is my friend --</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I would rather not.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>...and I just don't care who sees it, doesn't bother me!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, NO! I don't want to touch you, ever consider that? You're ignorant, and insulting, and small!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right, um... sorry.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael... I'm sorry. That was a good idea. Come on, come on. [Oscar and Michael hug]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[sobbing] I'm sorry I called you faggie. You're not faggie. You're a a good guy.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael appears to be gay too. And yet he is my friend. I guess I do have a gay friend.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[embracing Oscar]You know what, I'm going to raise the stakes. I want you to watch this. And I want you to burn this into your brains. Because this is an image that I want you people to remember for a long time to come. Whenever you come into the office I want you to think about this. [awkwardly kissing Oscar] I did it. See. I'm still here. We're all still here. [everyone claps]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[Dwight gets up to kiss Oscar] Oh come on! Dwight! Come on, man!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We are not in the playground anymore. There are new rules. We have to be mature. But we can't lose the spirit of child like wonder. What is love... anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules. Like me and Jan. Or Oscar... and some guy. Life is short. When two people find each other, what should stand in their way?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I am glad that today spurred social change. That's part of my job as regional manager. But you know what? Even if it didn't, at least we put this matter to bed. ...that's what she said. Or he said.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, there's Gill. Oscar's roommate. I wonder if he knows?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I was going to quit. But Jan offered me a three month paid vacation and a company car. All I had to do was sign something saying I won't sue. Gill and I are going to Europe. Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[reading the note with the gay-dar] "Hope this helps. -Jim" Nice!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[Dwight is running the gay-dar over Oscar's body] What are you doing?!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Shhh. Don't be scared. [gay-dar beeps over Oscar's belt buckle, Dwight smiles] It works. [gay-dar goes off next to Dwight's belt buckle] ...oh no.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="1">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on speakerphone] Okay, what is your goal for after lunch?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I will do my job to the best of my abilities.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[under breath] Heaven help us. [aloud] Specifically.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I will do my regional manager job to the best of my capability.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Specifically, Michael.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Specifically, Jan, I will make at least ten phone calls to clients.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="1">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes, I have to begin every day by letting Jan know what I intend to accomplish, and then I have to call her at the end of the day to tell her what I did accomplish. But it's not mandatory. It's something that I... wanted to do... and so it's voluntary, really. Even though she... makes me. I think she just wants to hear my voice. Because we're no longer lovers, and she's just hurting. But things are going well with Carol. I've seen her seven times in the last few months, and I'm growing very fond of her kids. Tommy, who I call Tomas, and the little girl...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="1">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on speakerphone] Are you on the toilet, Michael?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[quietly] No.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, I know sometimes you are and... that you wouldn't tell me, so I'm just going to assume that you are, and call me back when you're finished.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. [Jan hangs up. Toby opens the office door.]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[sigh]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="1">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hi, honey. You holding up?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yup.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm... painting my new apartment tonight.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, good. By yourself?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Aw. Well, hang in there, okay? You know what? You should get one of this big body pillows. That way you wouldn't miss you-know-who so much.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thanks.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Roy.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Right.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="1">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What do I think? I think everybody should stay out of everybody's personal business!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="1">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes, I'm gay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[shocked expression]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="1">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why are all the best-looking single men always gay?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="1">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, Big Tuna. You ever Google "Google"? What do you think would happen?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Let's find out. [starts typing]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[makes frustrated noises]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh! Lots of results.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I didn't mean you should do it. You were supposed to ponder it. It's... You removed the fun. Thanks a lot, Big Tuna.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
</SceneList>
|