Files
the-office/server/normalization/compile/3-20.xml

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<SceneList>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Dressed as Dwight] It's kind of blurry. [puts on his glasses] That's better. [exhales] Question. What kind of bear is best?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's a ridiculous question.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>False. Black bear.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Bears do not-- What is going on-- What are you doing?!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Uh, four dollars. And it only cost me seven dollars to recreate the rest of the ensemble. And that's a grand total of... [Jim calculates the total on his calculator-watch] eleven dollars.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. [Jim places a bobble-head on his desk] Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>... MICHAEL!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, that's funny. MICHAEL!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] Yes, I understand. Can I transfer you to customer relations?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] Absolutely. I couldn't be more sorry about this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] I know, I know. We're all trying to get to the bottom of this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] I am upset. Don't I sound upset?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] It is disgusting. I totally agree. Well, we're going to recalling all of that paper.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We have a crisis. Apparently, a disgruntled employee at the paper mill decided that it would be funny to put an obscene watermark on our 24 pound cream butter stock. Five hundred boxes has gone out, with the image of a beloved cartoon duck, performing... unspeakable acts upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like. I've never been a fan.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Everybody in here. STAT. No time to lose. Cri-Man-Squa. F and C, doubletime.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Cri-Man-Squa?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Crisis Management Squad.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>F and C, doubletime?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Front and Center. Twice as fast as you would normally go. Any other questions?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>One more. Why are you talking like that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>To save time, Jim.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Actually I think you could make the argument that it wastes time.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, she has a good point. I mean, for example, with the last thing you said, by the time you explained it, it actually took up more time.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what? Bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh! Forget it. Where is Creed?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Here.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Creed. Quality assurance. Your job. I really think you screwed the pooch on one, Creed. Because of you, the entire company is in jeopardy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Every week I'm supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course the one year I blow it off, this happens.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We have a lot of angry customers out there. This puts us at threat level midnight. Accounting, you are on customer service duty today.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's really not our job.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Midnight, Oscar! Don't worry, Kelly will be training you first.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Kelly's training us?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This day is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This day is bananas! B-A-N-A-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[getting a pill from the bottle] I don't have a headache. I'm just preparing.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jim, big fire in your house. Your client, Dunmore High-school, sent out their prom invitations on this paper. Went home to all the kids.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, I gotta call out on that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, no, no, no. Not good enough. This is a keystone account. I want you in the school. In person.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I want you to bring a partner.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'll go.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, sweet cheeks. We need someone who's actually made a sale. Andy, you go.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[English accent] William Dolittle at your service. A.K.A., Will Do.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, I'm definitely gonna go alone.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, no. I need two men on this. That's what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME! Guys, get on this. Dwight, I want you to be in charge of the press conference.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes! You are entering the "No Spin Zone!"</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We're having a press conference?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, Pam. The press is just gonna find out by themselves.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not! [scoffs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Here's the thing. When a company screws up, best thing to do is call a press conference. Alert the media, and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. That's what happened to O.J.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I have invited Barbara Allen, one of our oldest clients, to come in here, and meet with me, for a personal apology. The press wants a story, I will give them a story.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, did the press ask for a story?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Here is your headline. "Scranton Area Paper Company, Dunder Mifflin, apologizes to valued client. Some companies still know how business is done." Okay? Battle stations everybody, let's go, go, go, go, go, go!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, hello. Creed Bratton, Quality Assurance, Dunder Mifflin Scranton. I was supposed to meet with one of your floor managers last week for a quality inspection, and he or she wasn't there. And I'm trying to remember who it was. Mm-hmm. Who wasn't there last week? Debbie Brown. And which day was that? Wednesday, the eleventh. Perfect.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did... when I was a homeless man.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is because you're not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers! So give yourselves a round of applause. [Kelly and Kevin clap]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer calls.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I know, right? Probably a lot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Can you just tell us what we need to do so we can go?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, Angela. I love your enthusiasm. All you need to know how to do is pick up the phone and say "Customer Service, this is Kelly!" Except don't say "Kelly," say your own name. Or if you're bored, you can just make up a name. Like one time, I said I was Bridget Jones, [in an English accent] and I talked like this for the whole conversation!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh! Can I be [horrible Australian accent] Australian, mate?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in accent] Absolutely!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in accent] 'ello, mate!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in accent] I like ice cream! I need a boyfriend.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in accent] I like ice cream too, mate. Alligators and dingo babies.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Beer me!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hand me that water. I always say "Beer me." Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time. So how's what's-her-name?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know her name.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Who, Karen? Yeah, she's only one of my oldest friends. [takes swig of water] Mmm. How's the apartment hangin'?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's fine.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nice. Check out this sunshine, man. Global warming, right? Today was supposed to be really cold, I bet.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What about music? Do you have any music?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, yeah. Should have said so. [sings] Rha-dah-dah-dah! Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul. I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away-he-hay. Ruu-da-doo-da-doo, ba-dit-da-doo-da-dun, Give me the beat, boys, and free my little-ole-soul, I wa-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I was thinkin' about more like a CD, or... a CD.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Your call, dude. My girlfriend made an awesome mix. Beer me that disc.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Lord, beer me strength.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So, Tuna. When we get in there, let's do a really good job, okay?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Did that really need to be said?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well not everything a guy says needs to be said. Sometimes it's just about the music of the conversation.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Whoa! What the-- Why is my girlfriend here?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, is she that teacher in the white?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, she's a part-time frozen yogurt chef.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Which one... is she?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The one in the green hoodie.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wow.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I wonder if she's, like, a... a guidance counselor, or something?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, I don't think so.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She's like, probably a tutor.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nope.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She probably a t-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Sh--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, press conference in 45. Dwight, make sure this place looks nice.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>On it. OK, Karen, Ryan, Pam, center stage. Pam, run a comb through your hair.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>First rule in road-side beet sales: Put the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, "Wow, I need this beet right now." Those are the money beets.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Chad Lite walks in the door] [to Office workers] Hey! [snaps twice] Look sharp! [to Chad Lite] Hey! Uh, Hi. Hello, Dwight Schrute.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hi, uh--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Chad Lite</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">chad-lite</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And you must be uh, from the Washington Post.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Scranton Times. Chad Lite, "Lighter Side of Life."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Chad Lite</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">chad-lite</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And "Breaking Corporate News."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And obits.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Chad Lite</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">chad-lite</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, dear God. OK, here are your credentials. You've been granted level three security clearance.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Chad Lite</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">chad-lite</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't get too excited, that's out of 20. Right this way. Regional Manager Michael Scott will be addressing the client in the press room shortly. Have a seat, can I get you a beverage?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, yeah, I'd like uh, uh--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Chad Lite</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">chad-lite</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[shuts door on him] Great.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, Andy. You know what? We don't have a lot of time, so we should probably...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jamie!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Andy-- Ohh...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What are you doing here?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Andy?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jamie</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">jamie</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Are you a student here?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh... yeah...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jamie</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">jamie</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You never told me you were in high-school!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is weird. I... gotta go to Spanish.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jamie</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">jamie</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OH MY GOD!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh my God.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I had no idea.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well... that's not gonna hold up in court.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Huh... We didn't do anything illegal. Except knock over a mailbox with her friends.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] Sir, yes, you have a valid point. I'm sorry. No, I am so sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] Really, Dixon City? ...Carbondale.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] Excuse me? Well, I don't see how that's our fault. And I've already told you, the official position of Dunder Mifflin is apologetic, so I don't know what you want from me. [hangs up]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, first, I just wanna say that you are doing sooo good. Look, you have so many good qualities, that the one that you might wanna work on is, apologizing?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>When I went over Wednesday, for the spot-check, I got a call from Debbie Brown, saying she has an emergency dentist appointment.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Emergency dentist appointment.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Now I'm told she told her manager she had the flu. I'm a trusting guy, but uh, I just wish Debbie Brown had been there. We would have caught this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, I'll be sure someone returns your call. I'm so sorry. Bye.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hello, I'm looking for Michael Scott.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mrs. Allen is our most important client... because every client is our most important client. Even though she's a pretty unimportant client, really.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And so, with the eyes of the nation upon us, I would like to say that Dunder Mifflin truly regrets this unfortunate incident. And, as a gesture of gratitude, for your continued loyalty, Mrs. Allen, I would like to present you with this novelty check, for six months of free paper or 25 reams, whichever comes first.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[snaps picture with his camera phone] You look good in this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So, let us consider this matter ended.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well it isn't ended. I'm... I'm very angry. I-- I could have lost business.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I know, I know you're angry. And we are truly, truly sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't accept your apology. The watermark was obscene and horrifying.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, we are extremely sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't accept.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'll be with you in a moment.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">School Official</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">school-official</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Who was that guy she was talking to? At her locker.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not important. Because you're not dating her. Because it's a felony.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>But who was that guy?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Probably another high-school student.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The issue with the watermark is very serious.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">School Official</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">school-official</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Absolutely.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We teach our students that character counts.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">School Official</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">school-official</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And you should.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>But--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">School Official</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">school-official</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[scoffs] Pfft. You don't teach it well enough. One of your students is a bitch.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Andy... is having a real rough day today.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I want to take out an ad, in your yearbook. A full page, two words--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>"Good luck."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's not what I had in mind.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ask where he's from.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] Where are you from? Ohio? That's nice. So what do you want? [to Kelly] He's upset about the watermark.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, great. Now tell him that it was an unfortunate error, and we're doing everything we can do to fix it, and that you're sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[on phone] It was an unfortunate error. We're fixing it. And you already got your money back...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And you're sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>...and the company has already apologized, so you can take that apology or not. [hangs up] [to Kelly] I think he had Tourette's or something!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We... are going to do everything humanly possible, to ensure that this never happens again.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, it-- it doesn't help, because it already happened to me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The watermark... it's a one time thing.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't care! It was disgusting. Cartoon characters having sex?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>May I point out that the sex appeared to be consensual? Both animals were smiling.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doin' a goat, couple of pigs watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What... can I do, for you?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I, for starters, I think that you should resign.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well... [exhales] OK, well... Um, wasn't really my fault. The guys at the papermill--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're the head--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The guys at the papermill-- No no no!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're the head of the company!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm the head of the company?!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, and that makes it your responsibility--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, I'm a regional manager--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And so you should lose your job!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No-- my-- OK, this is insane. You can get out of here. Get out!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Fine.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's insane. We'll give this to somebody who will appreciate it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mm-hmm.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's non-transferable...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Doesn't matter. Out please!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm calling the Better Business Bureau.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, well I'm calling the Ungrateful Bi-atch Hotline! [to Chad Lite] Did you get all that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Everything.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Chad Lite</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">chad-lite</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We gotta do something. [exhales] This is spinning out of control, Pam. This is just, not...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's just the Scranton Times...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, then Newsweek picks it up. And then CNN does a story about it. Then... YouTube gets a hold of it...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what? I really think the whole thing is just gonna blow over in like a week or two.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're right. It will blow over. But it's not... going to take... a week or two. [pulls out a video camcorder from his desk] Do you know what this is for?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael likes me to run the camera when he makes his apology videos. He says he needs a woman's touch.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Dwight is spraying far too much hairspray into Michael's hair] OK, I think that's good.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>"Hello. I am Michael Scott, Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. By now you are probably sick of hearing about Dunder Mifflin and our embarrassing watermark boner. Let me tell you something. Something from the heart. I am not leaving this office. It will take a SWAT team, to remove me from this office, and maybe not even that."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, you could never withstand a SWAT team.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's how devoted I am to this job.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm just saying...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I know.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>They would flank you. Throw in a concussion grenade.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I understand that, Dwight.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You would be on the ground, blind, deaf, dumb.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you think you're taking it a little... literally, Dwight? And now we're wasting tape. I'm gonna have to cut this all out. Can you say cut?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Cut.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So I'll know where--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Cut.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm asking Pam to do it, please.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Cut.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, ready?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Kevin, what's four plus seven?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[thinks] Eleven.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, well you didn't know that when you filled out this payroll form.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, well at least I didn't suck at customer relations. Oooh, yes. Facial.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[laughs] Yes. [air high five]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You two are apes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I expect you to apologize for that, Angela.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm sorry... that you're both morons.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, but you still said "I'm sorry."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I called you morons.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Still said it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Still said it, so... [Kevin and Oscar screw up an air high five]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Five, four, three. "There is no way, I will resign. It wouldn't be fair. Not to the good workers I work with, not to my clients, and especially not to me. Let's not forget who this whole resigning business is about, anyway. If I could leave you with one thought, remember... it wasn't me. They're trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to God, that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word. You have one day."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>One day for what?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's... they always give an ultimatum.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Good, cut?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Cut. That was your best apology video ever.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thought so too.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[to Dwight] Got a farewell card for Debbie Brown. I thought maybe you'd like to sign it. Maybe throw a couple of bucks in there for her. She's got some children.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I feel terrible about Debbie Brown. She got fired because of Dwight. So I thought I'd pass around a goodbye card, maybe everyone could put in a couple of bucks to help her through these difficult times. Why do bad things always happen to the good people? It's tragic. Just tragic.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You want music?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't care.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Come on man, just give it a couple days. I think you'll be all right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[singing the intro to The Lion King's "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"] A-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what-- I don't--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>A-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Joins in with classic Andy falsetto] Oooo-oo-oooo-ooo-oo-oooo-oo-ooo-ooo a-wi-imbube!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>A-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oooo-oo-oooo-ooo-oo-oooo-oo-ooo-ooo a-wi-imbube!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>A-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh, a-wimowheh...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Sweet.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[walks in dressed as Jim] Pam.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Dwight. You look really nice today.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[scoffs] Pssssh. I look like an idiot. Hey Karen.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Dwight, lookin' sharp.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, that's cause I'm... you're boyfriend, Jim Halpert. Hey, Karen, wanna get t-together later and have sexual intercourse cause you're my girlfriend?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm good. Thanks.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Dwight imitates the "Jim face"] Look at that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm Jim Halpert. [more horrible "Jim faces"]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Spot on.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ah-luh-luh, a little comment. Muh.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh my God, I am so sorry, that is so messed up. Everyone here is so upset, you have no idea. And rest assured your voice has been heard. Okay, I'll be thinking about you all day. Customer service, this is Kelly. Oh my God, I am so sorry, that is so messed up. Everyone here is so upset, you have no idea. And rest assured your voice has been heard. Okay, I'll be thinking about you all day.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Customer service, this is Kelly. Oh my God, I am so sorry, that is so messed up. Everyone here is so upset, you have no idea. I'll be thinking about you all day. Customer service, this is Kelly. Oh my God, I am so sorry, that is so messed up. Everyone here is so upset, you have no idea. I'll be thinking about you all day. Customer service, this is Kelly. Oh my God, I am so sorry, that is so messed up. Everyone here is so upset, you have no idea. I'll be thinking about you all day.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The key to a crisis is dealing with it right away. Like that aspirin company that sent out the poisoned aspirin in the regular aspirin bottles. If you don't act fast, you will lose customers.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hello, CNN? I need to speak to your Scranton-area bureau chief? All right, then the bureau chief for the Greater Wilkes-Barre area? How about, ah, Lackawanna County. Okay, Northeastern Pennsylvania then. This is extremely urgent! No... you put your supervisor on the phone!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Customer service isn't like accounting. It's not just typing numbers into a calculator and then it tells you an answer.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We do a lot more than that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, or hand out checks, or whatever it is you do. Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is because you think that people don't like you. But guess what, from now on you guys are not losers! So give yourselves a round of applause.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer phone calls.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The annex rocks. All you need to do is make sure that you make a connection with the customer. They just wanna know that you're sorry. Do that and you'll be fine. Make sense?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mm-hm.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, role-playing time!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Alright, I think I'm trained.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ooh, can I be a pirate?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[hums]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hello.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Chad Lite</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">chad-lite</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Excuse me. You're Creed Bratton, guitar player for Grass Roots in the late 1960s.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Chad Lite</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">chad-lite</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I am indeed. How'd you know that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I wrote your obituary.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Chad Lite</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">chad-lite</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, oh that's right! Good work. Thank you very much, sir [shakes hand].</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>About 10 years ago, for tax reasons, I faked my own death. I've been collecting benefits as my own widow ever since.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, my God!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, my God! Wow.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I had no idea.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Then you did nothing wrong. We should go.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How could I not have realized?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She looks older.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, she does, doesn't she?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She acts older, too. She knows everything about European history, and photosynthesis, and she made me this lanyard with, like, a Fimo clay thing. She's a real Renaissance woman.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Or a high school girl. Let's go [mouths 'wow' to the camera].</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Chicken pot pie.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's what I was eating, in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven for dinner. And I got out of the car to shake the crumbs off my shirt, and this smoking hot woman comes up and we strike up a conversation.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh. You don't have to tell me this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>She lets me buy her and her friends some wine coolers for a dinner party she's going to.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You shouldn't be talking about that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I threw in some scratch tickets, 'cause generous guy, and next thing you know we're making out in the woods.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hypothetically. Hypothetically you were making out in the woods.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, we were really making out in the woods.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, can't help you now.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I gotta go talk to her.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No. D-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>With dissatisfied clients, it doesn't matter what you did. All they wanna hear is that you're sorry. They're like women that way. And this client is a woman. So when I say I'm sorry, it will be twice as effective.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So we're good?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, we're not.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara Allen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara-allen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, okay. But I don't accept.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara Allen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara-allen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[whispering] Say you're sorry times infinity...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>...'cause there's no comeback for that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right. We are infinitely sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm still furious.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara Allen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara-allen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You understand? You... you get this check.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mmm.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Barbara Allen</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">barbara-allen</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Can I help you?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Spanish Teacher</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">spanish-teacher</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah. I'm Mr. Bernard Johnson, MD. I'd like to talk with Jamie about a certain heart condition. Diagnosis:</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't believe in apologies. When someone in the yakuza makes a mistake, they cut off a portion of their own pinky finger. And in that way, save face. And knowing the Japanese, they probably get an even better prosthetic finger. With a knife you can take out of it, or a screwdriver or a corkscrew.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Why am I getting all of the bad ones?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Why can't you just say you're sorry and make them feel better?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm not gonna lie and say I'm sorry when the company didn't do anything wrong. That's immoral, and this is ridiculous.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Would you, please? Please.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, you have to do what I say, okay? Because Michael put me in charge, even though you're old enough to be my mother.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What? Well what you say is stupid, and your job is pointless. And you're a slut and everyone thinks so.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, you're fired, okay? Go back to accounting, Angela.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Gladly. I quit.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>If cartoon characters didn't have sex, then how would we get new cartoon characters? From the sex! [giggles]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The customer is always right. Mrs. Allen was our customer. She was wrong. Is that a contradiction? No. Because she's not our customer anymore.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael likes me to run the camera when he makes his apology videos. My favorite is the one for his mother.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Mom. Happy birthday, belatedly. Sorry I forgot. I had put it on my calendar and Pam threw that out.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>My personal favorite is the one he made for his condo association.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And without denying the seriousness of the situation, I would just like to remind you that in much of the Netherlands, swimming naked is the norm. So in Norway, you'd be the weirdos.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, Andy, we need to go. Seriously.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dude, there she is. Don't look, don't look. She's sitting with Denise. How am I supposed to do this? Denise hates me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't do it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What is your problem, man? Can't you support a bro? That's why you don't have any friends, Tuna. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just, I need...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's okay.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>...your help. I love her.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah. I lo- I love her. Is this what love is? This, like, horrible feeling in my stomach?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, that's your conscience. Listen to it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Look, okay, just be my wingman. Beer me five minutes. Talk to Denise. She's really into White Russians and whippets.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jamie, can I talk to you for a second?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah. I only have a minute.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jamie</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">jamie</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[sits down next to Denise] So, high school.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you have a cigarette?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Denise</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">denise</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, I don't smoke. Sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>There's nothing to do in this town.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Denise</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">denise</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You should take up a musical instrument.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, I should take up that. Jamie?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Denise</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">denise</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, uh, does Mr. Nortman still teach here? He's a jerk, right?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>He's dead. Hey, do you have any weed?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Denise</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">denise</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, nope. What else? What else? You watch The Hills? What is Heidi thinking?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How old are you?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Denise</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">denise</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How old do you think I am?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Forty?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Denise</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">denise</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[shakes head]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Are you someone's dad here?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Denise</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">denise</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not that I know of.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ew. What kind of car do you have?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Denise</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">denise</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I drive a Saab station wagon.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>My dad just gave me his old Lexus.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Denise</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">denise</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Really? Way to earn it. Hey, Andy?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yup.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Very well [hangs up phone]. I just got a call from Debbie Brown over at the mill. She claims innocence and is willing to come over here and defend herself.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No time. Dwight, I love Debbie Brown. She's a close personal friend. But quality is my life. This company has a reputation to uphold. As much as it pains me, someone has to be held accountable.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're right. Mercy is for girl-babies. Time to put this dog down.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Are we ready?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Final touch-ups.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay. Am I shiny?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay. We good? Okay, that's enough Aqua Net.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't know...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[clears throat] Stop it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[coughs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Angela. I'm sorry that I said you were old enough to be my mother. I don't know why I said that. I think I might be hypoglycemic or something, but still, it's no excuse. So, I'm very sorry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh. Thank you, Kelly [long pause]. And I wish I hadn't called you stupid.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you think I'm a slut?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, but some of your outfits are not appr-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Apology accepted! [hugs Angela]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I didn't apologize.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We're like best friends now!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We're not.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'll text you!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Bye, Angela!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Fine.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That is all I was looking for today. She got something out of my training session. I mean, she will never work in customer relations. Oh, my God, no. Never. But maybe she'll be less of a grump.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Kelly's not so bad. She really taught me something today [rolls eyes].</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I have literally apologized an infinite number of times on this, and there are still calls for me to resign. Calls from an annoying woman, and possibly even the media alike. Well let me tell you something, something from the heart. I will not resign. I need this job. My mortgage is hundreds of dollars a month. With this job, I can barely cover that. I have a company car, but I still have to pay for gas, and gas prices are high. And I have no savings whatsoever. And it wasn't even me. It's so not fair that they want me to resign.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>...to the fullest extent of the law [hangs up phone]. Listen up, everyone! I just got off the phone with the mill. Final responsibility for Watermark-gate has been assigned. Floor manager Debbie Brown has officially been terminated. Lets give a big hand to Creed Bratton, without whose earnest and diligent sleuthing this scandal might never have been resolved [claps].</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Just doing my job, guys.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
</SceneList>