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the-office/server/normalization/truth/episodes/8-12.xml
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<SceneList>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, ugh. [stands and looks at meatball in chair] What is this, a meatball? Really? [Stanley laughs]</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>It's always more fun to mess with Dwight with an audience. That was usually Pam so now that she's out I had to find someone else. Turns out that Stanley is quite the comedy fan. But not everything makes him laugh. He has very specific tastes. Through a painstaking process of trial and error, I've found out what he likes. And it's really weird.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Jim, come on! That's so juvenile! What the- [opens drawer full of meatballs]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
<Text>You've been meatballed! [laughs]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Ugh.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
<Text>Are you ready for some meatball?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Aw, man. [Stanley laughs] This is not very clever, Jim.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>I know.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
<Text>Look for your stapler!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>[Dwight finds stapler in giant meatball] Really Jim? Really? Very funny.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
<Text>[to Phyllis] Oh okay. Good night. [climbs in to Dwight's car] What's the haul?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Thirty-two meatballs.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
<Text>Good day.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>That idiot's been feeding us for a week.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
<Text>We'll never have to buy meatballs again.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>[phone rings] Dunder Mifflin. Jessica, hi! How are you? Oh yay, that's so great to hear.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>I'm not going to be one of those exes who can't move on. They have their life and I have mine. I'm taking an Italian class. So far I've learned tortellini, spagettini, linguini... Well it's not so much a class as a restaurant, but I do Monday, Wednesday, Friday from seven to nine.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>I will patch you through right now. You sound really pretty today. Okay.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Jessica! I love you! That's a message from my mom.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>My parents met Jessica and they completely flipped for her so they gave me this old family ring to use on her. I know, whoa! Pump the breaks, Bernard, too early! I get it. I just, you know, I'm just carrying it around, seeing how it feels. I haven't proposed to anyone in years... Mom took the main diamond out, she thought that had more of a my little brother kind of vibe to it, but...</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>[Robert is looking at pictures of a house online] Whoa, looks pretty nice. Got a little bit of a Shining vibe, though.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, who needs a house that size?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Big. Stupid. Pure chump bait.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>I'm selling the house, actually.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>You know, there's a glare from over here... oh wow, that's magnificent.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>It's mid-recession in a depressed area of a faltering state and I've got the most expensive house on the market. The one percent are suffering too, people. I wanted it to be my Playboy mansion. A temple to wine, revelry, sex, intrigue... this was hot on the heels of Eyes Wide Shut, mind you. Then I met my wife, she moved in, made it her own. Now she's left me and forced me to sell the place. The ultimate insult? They're calling my speakeasy lounge a rumpus room. [Jim laughs] Does my turmoil amuse you, Jim?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>I'm sorry, I thought you were making a joke.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>What could you possibly have found funny in what I said? What was the joke you thought you heard?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>I guess I thought you were approaching it with more of a sarcasm than misery. Kind of laughing at your own pain, sad clown thing.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>Oh yes. How hilarious it is to laugh at clowns, the painted jesters of the dying circus industry. Very funny, Jim. I get it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Um, I'm getting reports of a serious outbreak of the grumpies in here.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>A beautiful monster cost me my forties and my dream home. I think I'm entitled to the occasional bad day.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Well, please tell Susan we all say hi.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>Dude, what if, since you're feeling grumpy, we all swing by tonight and check out your indoor pool? [Robert laughs]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>Kevin, no.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>What, as some sort of last hoorah?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah. All of us in the pool, saying hoorah. Maybe the last one that says hoorah is it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>You know I suppose someone should enjoy the place before I hand it over to the staging experts at Remax tomorrow. Let's try this: everyone, tonight, my house, wear a swimsuit. Let's just call it a get-together. And let's say no food.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>Hey Oscar, was that you who just created a party out of thin air or was it me?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>That was you, Kevin.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>It was me.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
<Text>You going tonight, kiddo? Cause I can give you a lift.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, I don't know, Meredith. It seems like you shouldn't drive maybe ever.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
<Text>It's no problem. You live right near me.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>How do you know where I live?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
<Text>Andy followed you home after the Christmas party.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Why?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
<Text>He wanted to make sure California didn't put it in you.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Oh. Come on.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Wow. Andy's such a weird stalker. Following me home like that when he has a girlfriend? I should get a restraining order. [squeaks]</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
<Text>[sticks a hand in the pool] Oh, it is warm.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Cathy</Speaker>
<Text>It's almost too warm.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
<Text>I'm feeling eighty-two, eighty-two and a half.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, so close. Eighty-one.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
<Text>[to Cathy] Well, we'll say its eight-two and it'll be our secret.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Cathy</Speaker>
<Text>[to Jim] Hey, late guy.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>Hey. Wow. Just stopping by. Got another party to go to. A wife and two kids at home party.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Oh.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>DJ Pam Halpert is spinning some serious Radio Disney tonight.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>You're looking at the master of leaving parties early. They key is, you have to make a strong impression, so you want to have a picture taken, you want to say some peculiar non sequitur that people remember, you want to note something unique, a talking point, for later. I don't mean to brag, but New Year's Eve, I was home by nine.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>Robert, just wanted to grab you one second. This place is amazing, by the way.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>You should see the whole thing.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>I bet I should. [takes cell phone photo] That's beautiful, I'm going to email that to you.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>I'm just about to give the tour.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>All right-</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>Join us. You must see what you were laughing about.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>I must...</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>[looks at pool] Wow.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>[hides ring] Yeah, it's pretty serious poolage.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>[sees Andy's hand in his pocket] What are you doing?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Hmm? Flicking a bug off my wiener. [they both laugh]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>Gross. I'm getting a drink. Do you want anything?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>No, I'm good.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>[runs to Andy] Funny how we can be surrounded by people and still feel so lonely. Hi.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Hi.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>How is everything? How's your car?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>It's great. You know. Reliable. Great mileage.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Is that so? How about this weekend we take that sucker to a duck pond or something? Maybe get caught in the rain?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Well, I can't. I'm going skiing with Jessica. you know, a couple of dopes on the slopes.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, like a goodbye trip.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>No. What?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>Hey.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Hi.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>I guess Andy isn't totally over his current girlfriend. But, if he was jealous once before then maybe I can make him jealous again. Just not with Robert. He told me he was a ride I wouldn't survive, and I believe him.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>Val. You made it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Val</Speaker>
<Text>Yup, yup.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>Uh oh, look at this. Red plastic cup, red plastic cup. How about that?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Val</Speaker>
<Text>You know, you are just as dumb at night.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>Mmm. [they clink cups]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>All right, theres- this would be no problem. I could swim under, one breath.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>No, show me.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Okay.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>Dive in right here.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>In a minute. In a minute.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>Okay. You don't know what you're doing.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>A minute would be cool.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Hey, Dwight Snoot.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>What-</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>What you doing?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>I'm relaxing. Scram. [pushes her]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Ow.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Hey, Stanley. Um, what happened to my pants?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
<Text>I moved them. Pants only need a chair if there's a person in them.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Where... [finds pants, looks for ring]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Come on, don't you want to play?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Oh really?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah, you want to play you little hick? [kicks her in to the pool, Erin screams]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>Whoa.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
<Text>Dwight! Oh my gosh! Dwight!</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>Here we have the parlor. I imagined people would set down their coats and symbolically their inhibitions. This was the gateway. You enter this room a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a judge, but beyond it you're simply a penis, a vagina, hunger, ache. Susan used it as a Pilates studio.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>[sees wine collection] Holy cow!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>Wine collection.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>How many bottles? Three hundred?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>[laughs] About twelve hundred. What the hell, grab a bottle. Less inventory for the lawyers.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>Toby! Chateau Margaux ninety-five. You know your wine.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
<Text>Well, and you have a... yes, a- d- another chateau.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>Robert, you are too kind.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>Oh.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
<Text>Too kind doesn't begin to cover it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>With ammunition like this we are in for quite a night, you and me.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
<Text>And Gabe-y makes three.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>Robert, thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you for all this. This night's been magical.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>Jim, come see this next room. I think you especially would like it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>Really? Why?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>I don't know. Maybe not. Just come.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>[Dwight dunks her] Oh!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>[laughs] You regret attacking me now, hick? Huh?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Stop it. Dwight, I was flirting with you. I was trying to use you to make Andy jealous.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>I'm not going to help you. Why would you choose me? Because I'm mighty? Because I'm the manliest man in the office? I'll do it. [he picks her up]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>[giggles] Oh Dwight!</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>[giggles] Stop.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>You stop.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>No, you stop.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>No, you stop.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>[to camera] Is he looking? [shakes her head] Oh. You can stop.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Okay, you can stop.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>No, no, no, he's not looking.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>No, you can stop.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>You can actually stop.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
<Text>Whoa, you guys, I just found this insane engagement ring. Is anyone missing this?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
<Text>The main stone's missing.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
<Text>I don't know. It looks pretty great to me.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>I pictured myself here every night eating a leg of mutton, the juices dripping down my bare chest, wiping my fingers on the walls. Then I met the vegan.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>Good night.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>[raises wine bottle] To the kitchen!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>All</Speaker>
<Text>To the kitchen!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>To the kitchen. Onward!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>Toby, what's compelling about this is the note of persimmon. Right?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
<Text>Note? It's a symphony.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>Okay, you have to join my wine-tasting club.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
<Text>I would love that.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
<Text>Toby, you are playing a dangerous game. Guess I'm through the gateway now, though, right?</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>[to Val] You know, I don't think I've ever been in this exact angle before. I was scared at first, but I like it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
<Text>You guys got to try this pool. No top scum, no band-aids. This thing is choice.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Val</Speaker>
<Text>You in?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah, sure, sure. I'll be right in.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>I've been working out. But, the problem is, I've been building muscle underneath. And that top layer hasn't burned off yet. Awkward stage.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>[he and Erin feed each other chips] Ah, mmm. So good. Now take a chip, crush it into my face, really rub the grease around. Do it. Now rub it in. Oh, yeah, that's so good. Ah...</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Andy's not even looking. I think sexy eating is a dead end.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Damn it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>What is the most romantic possible thing?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>We can get some chicken fights going in the pool.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Dwight, that's just- that's really perfect. Thank you.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Both</Speaker>
<Text>Yes! [they high five and jump in the pool]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
<Text>You're in my way!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Andy, Dwight and I challenge you and Jess to a chicken fight. Winner take all.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Chicken fight!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>No thanks.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Dang it! What the heck already?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Hey, Cathy. Chicken fight!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Cathy</Speaker>
<Text>Okay, yeah. Who's going to be my partner? Where's Jim?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>I'm right here! [gets in pool] Cold. Cold. Come on, Cath.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah- oh!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>[knocks Cathy off Kevin's shoulders] Yes! Woo!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Woohoo! Yes!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Dwight, our chemistry is really clicking. We work so well together.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>I know. I could just bang you right now.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>He's not looking. [Dwight dumps her in the pool] Hey!</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>I had two bears sewn together to make this king-size. Total waste of two bears.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>To both these bears.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>To both these bears.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
<Text>Bears.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>To both these bears.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>When I put in the screening room, I bought three movies: Caligula, Last Tango in Paris, and Emmanuelle 2. Last two movies I actually watched in here Marley and Me and On Golden [bleep] Pond.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>I mean, it's clearly meant for watching erotic cinema.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
<Text>Yup. We could watch some right now if you want. I got a Korean film on my iPod if you want to just- if you have the cables.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Kelly, that's a crazy ring you found.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah, thanks. I'm really glad I found it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>I can't believe you're wearing it. Are you not superstitious at all?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
<Text>Shh. Of course I'm superstitious. What are you talking about?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>The ring of a failed marriage might have some sinister energy, right? Am I just being silly?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, I don't think you're being silly.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
<Text>Oh God. [takes off ring]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>You know what, I can just sell it and put the money in the party fund.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
<Text>[snatches ring] Then another woman will get it. We can't allow that. We have to destroy it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>[to Andy] Come on. Let's chicken fight those two.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Val</Speaker>
<Text>[comes up from under water] How was that?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>Okay. Watch my toes. [does hand stand]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>Hey Val. Want a beer? It might taste better than that pool water you've been drinking.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Val</Speaker>
<Text>No, I'm good. Thank you.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>Cool.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Val</Speaker>
<Text>Cool. [to Kevin] Does Darryl not swim?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>That's racist! I don't know. But I would say, by looking at him, no, Darryl does not swim.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>[knocks Erin off Dwight's shoulders] Yes!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>[to Erin] Maybe we should take a little break.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Dwight, we've got this. I promise. I will not leave your shoulders, no matter what.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Okay.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>One more?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah! Great! [others cheer and clap]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Mush, mush, mush! Come on!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Go!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Go! Okay. Yeah.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>Here we go! [knocks Erin over] Yes!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Yay! [Erin comes back up] Whoa!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>Wow!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>I cannot believe you're still up!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>I cannot believe it either.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>I've got this! [Dwight gasps] Charge! Go! Go! [Dwight sinks]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>[muffled] Dwight are you okay? Hey, damn it-</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>[coughs up water] Erin, did we win?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Sure. Sure we did.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>You're lying. We didn't win.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Hey, hey, hey Dwight. It's okay. Just rest. Just rest.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
<Text>You've broken up your last couple, you evil ring. Do it. [Meredith sets fire to paper ring boat]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
<Text>We're in the pool!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
<Text>Shut it, Angela.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Ugh. Same old party, same old people. Am I right? Reminds me of Phyllis's birthday.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Ooh, do not remind me of Phyllis's birthday.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>I know. [laughs] But boy, that Erin. She sure is a ripe little tiger, isn't she? Rroww! And to think, I always thought of her as a second Meredith. Respectfully, I don't want us walking into a similar Angela kind of situation.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Mmm.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>So I just want to make sure that you are completely, one hundred percent done with Erin.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Last I checked, I'm with Jessica. And I like to get my monog on. It's monogamy for my hog 'n me.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Not what I asked.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>We're done. Erin and I are over.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>So then you won't mind if tonight I just go crazy on her, just go nuts, rrargh. With sex.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Have at it. Or take it slow. Whatever you guys work out.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>[sighs] You're an idiot.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>Kelly, that is mine! This is mine! [Val, Erin and Kevin play with pool noodles]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Uh-uh. Uh-uh.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
<Text>No!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Val</Speaker>
<Text>Oh I've got him!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>Cannonball! [jumps in pool] Let's do this!</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>[Erin swims up with ring] Wow.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>So I kind of stepped on this. I think it's yours.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah. Oh wow. How did you know it was mine?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>The Bernard family seal. Duh.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Duh.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Sorry if your special night was ruined.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, whoa. Whoa, no, it's not a special night.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, you weren't going to do that?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Honestly Erin, I don't know what I'm doing. I... I just... I don't know. Thank you.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Andy's confused. That's not what I was hoping for, but it's not so bad either. I can live with confused. I get confused. I totally get confused.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>And of course, the pool. The ultimate lubricant for any wild evening. It was here that my parties would have crescendoed into true madness.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>To madness.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>To madness.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
<Text>To madness. [Robert laughs]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
<Text>To madness.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>Hey, um, I think you parked my car in. Is there any way you can move your van?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, I'm sorry. When I got here, I put my keys in a bowl.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>Are you serious?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>Robert, I want you to know, I'm here to rock with you as late as you want, man.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
<Text>And that goes double for me. I'll stay even later than you'd like.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>[Toby pours wine into Oscar's mouth] Toby! I am Bacchus, god of wine!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
<Text>And I am Bacchus's friend!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>Gentlemen, bear witness. While I've been mourning the nights that never were, one of them has been unfolding here before me. This is no get-together. This is a party. [Robert strips, jumps in pool, Gabe and Ryan join him]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>All</Speaker>
<Text>Yes! Woohoo! Bravo!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>And there's my talking point.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>Yes, that's it. Push yourselves, boys. It's not a party if you don't do something that scares you. I need a breather. Oh. Oh. You two keep going.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>Hey, he's asleep. We can just leave.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
<Text>So leave.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>Two pools. A divider. A bridge. Good choice. It says everything about everything, right Robert?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Kathy</Speaker>
<Text>What's the water like?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
<Text>Nice.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, it is warm.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
<Text>Robert's house is, well....I don't mean to sound offensive, but it's like where a basketball player would live.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Oh, Dwight.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Uh huh.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>That feels so good!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah....baby.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>[grunting] Hey, Andy.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Hey.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Dwight gives the best back massages.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah, it sounds like it.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Hey, have you ever been checked for scoliosis?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>I don't know, why don't you check me Dr. Shrute. [laughing]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>No, seriously. Your spine is jacked. It's like the devil's cursive.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>You mean more like dangerous curves...</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>You'd be like 8 feet tall if this thing was straightened out...[pushes Erin back to floor]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Ow!</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>You date a guy, you find out he was engaged to your coworker so you throw cake at him. It's over. You start liking him again so you ask him out with a puppet show. He says no. Then he follows you home to make sure that you don't kiss somebody. Then he ignores you at a pool party? Am I right ladies?</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>[Erin helps Dwight stretch his inner thighs] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oooooh, yeah.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>You guys ready?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Bring it on guys.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah...</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Let's go before I vomit. [Erin and Dwight enter pool]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Ready?</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>I'm ready.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>Whoo!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Alright! Here we go.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
<Text>Ok.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>RAHHH!!!!!!!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah, come on!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
<Text>Get her! Ruin her! [Andy and Jessica beat Dwight and Erin]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
<Text>Hey! High-five!</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>Yeah!</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jessica</Speaker>
<Text>My brother and I were the chicken fight champions of our swim club growing up. I mean, we beat the Strauss twins. Ok, I guess somebody didn't grow up in west Hartford, Connecticut.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Robert</Speaker>
<Text>This room I liked for the view. I dreamed that I would watch my guests walk to their cars at dawn, their faces flushed with the shame and regret for the choices they made the night before. [laughs]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
<Text>I get that.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
<Text>Beautiful sentiment.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
<Text>To the shame room! [raises bottle]</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
<Text>[Robert laughs] I live in this room.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
<Text>[Toby and Oscar swig from wine bottles] Oh, Mineral-ey.</Text>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
<Text>Mineral-ey.</Text>
</Quote>
</Scene>
</SceneList>
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