mirror of
https://github.com/Xevion/the-office.git
synced 2025-12-15 10:13:30 -06:00
2246 lines
88 KiB
XML
Vendored
2246 lines
88 KiB
XML
Vendored
<SceneList>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[Elevator opens on Andy, who starts lip dub to the Isley Brothers "Nobody But Me", joined by the rest of the Office]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">None</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="meta">none</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[to Toby, who's filming] You fallin' behind.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[jumps in front of camera] Wuphf.com!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Ryan, we're doing the dance!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>This is how you build a business. This is how you make it in this country.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[Bluetooth rings] You got Creed.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">creed</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>-and you jump in front of them.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You make it so hard to love you sometimes.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Still behind.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[closing door] I said I didn't want to be on the internet!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Go, go, go, go!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[performs magic-tricks while lip-syncing]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Streamers! [everyone throws streamers in the air and starts dancing]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">All</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="meta">all</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hiya! Ha! [climbs on Phyllis' desk and starts kicking things off, bites off the head of a stuffed animal]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Dwight! [Dwight pulls out a hunting knife and jumps off desk]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Are you crazy?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[song ends] Toby, how did we do?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Well, that was better.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">toby</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Whoo! We did it! [everyone starts cheering]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw 'Inception.' Or at least I dreamt I did.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Brocolli Rob, obviously, will be there.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yes, of course.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">erin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>And JC. We call him Blorville, because he looks like a black Orville Redenbacher.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Who's the guy who invented the peanut?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">erin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, guys.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Not at all.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I'm gonna head back to Siberia there. Ciao. [he and Erin kiss]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I started dating Erin this summer. It has been, in a word, exquisite.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Gabe is awesome. He has accomplished so much career-wise and height-wise. Thank God he's my boss because I would not have said yes to a first date if I didn't have to, but... it's been great.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">erin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Am I angry that Gabe stole my girlfriend over the summer? No. I've been through anger-management, OK? So right now, I am sitting on a nice beach at Cape Cod, gazing out across the whitecaps. Oh, look, it's a humpback whale. How pretty. He's eating Gabe.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[goes to change thermostat as Dwight puts a locked cover over it] Hey. What are you doing?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>From now on, if you're hot, sit on an ice pack.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Well, what if you're cold?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Like you'd ever be cold, Kevin. Stop asking me hypothetical questions, OK? I'm too busy.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, Dwight, I don't know if you heard, but we're supposed to be drinking out of weird backpacks instead of cups, like regular people. Oh, you did hear.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[drinking from Camelback] Jim, you have one job to do. And you do it forgettably. Those of us who are busy require hands-free hydration.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Dwight Schrute, star salesman, beet farmer, bed-and-breakfast proprietor, aspiring freelance bodyguard. Add to that list owner of this building. Then burn the list.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>This summer, I did the minority executive training program at Yale. You guys, I'm, like, really smart now. You don't even know. You could ask me, "Kelly, what's the biggest company in the world?" And I'd be like, "blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah," giving you the exact right answer.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Coffee Monkey's arrived.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="background">luke</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>The coffee's supposed to be here at 9.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Here you go, Big O. Tiny. [hands Kevin his coffee] Darryl Hannah.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="background">luke</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>It says decaf. You get me decaf?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Ooh, yeah. Must've been some sort of mix-up there. You could just drink it, or I could drive all the way back?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
|
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<Character type="background">luke</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>My summer, I, um, blew out my knee playing softball. Ended up watching CNN most of the time. I don't know how we're going to get out of Afghanistan. I hate the new assistant. He's only been here for a week, and I hate him.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
|
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<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>New guy sucks. Calls me the Nard-Man. I'm the Nard-Dog, okay? Nard-man is my father.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
|
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
|
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>My name is Luke Cooper. I love cinema. My favorite movies are Citizen Kane and The Boondock Saints.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
|
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
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|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
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|
</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>That kid is the worst. Needs to be fired, Michael.</QuoteText>
|
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<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
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|
</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>He's not the worst, okay? He's not the worst. You know who's the worst? That intern we had a few years ago. That guy-remember? Eeeh! That face, how ugly he was? He was the worst. Good worker, though. [starts drinking coffee] Ah! It's not cappuccino.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
|
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>He messed yours up to.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
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|
</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>He's got to go, Mike.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
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</Characters>
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|
</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>It's just coffee, guys! But, yeah, I'll look into it, okay?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wow, that's a lot of keys.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>The bigger the key chain, the more powerful the man.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's right. The janitor said that. By the way, the raccoons are back.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Where?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I think they run through these panels and then down under the map. I wouldn't know for sure cause I don't have a trained ear. That's why I have to use one of these. [pulls out stethoscope]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Give me that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yep. Wait, and this. [hands Dwight a hammer]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Go get 'em.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What happened to me this summer? Dwight bought the building, so actually, this has been the busiest summer of my life.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[Jim quietly takes Dwight's keychain and starts adding keys to it, Pam giggles] Hey, what's so funny over here? Ha. Very nice. Give me my keys. [removes keys and throws them at Jim] Ha. Ha. Not. Funny. Jim.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sorry.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, no. Don't worry about it. I was just gonna put a couple keys on it every day until Christmas. Then his pants would have fallen down, which was a little gift to me, but...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It was really funny.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, it would have been. So unprofessional, Mrs. Halpert.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I love you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Luke? Luke!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What's up, Venus?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Did you send those samples to Justin at Lehigh Motors yesterday? Because he didn't get 'em.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, if you asked me to do it, I'm sure I did it. Yeah, strawberries are ripe.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, turn off the Chumbawamba and scram, twerp.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You don't have to yell.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, rude. Luke, I want you to go to the supermarket for me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What for?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>To get some ice cream for everybody. It's national ice cream afternoon. Great.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>And another thing I did this summer, I hired my nephew.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Having Luke here is a pretty big deal for me, because his mother, who also happens to be my half-sister, kind of cut me off from that side of the family 15 years a- 14. The last time I saw Luke was the opening day of 'Ace Ventura II' and that was '95, so yes, 15 years on the dot. Anyway, I lost him in a forest.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Don't bother Luke.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why is there a circle with a line through it?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That means don't. Haven't you seen Ghostbusters, Pam?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, but it's like you're saying we should bother Luke.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, it... Yes, okay, right. [erases don't] All right, yep. My bad. I got it. Here we go. [writes "Don't" in front of symbol]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Don't don't bother Luke. Got it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Come on. Okay, um... [draws a circle around "Don't" with a line through it] That's as clear as I can make it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, why can't we bother Luke? He deserves it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Because I don't want it getting back to Sabre that we're yelling at assistants. I think it would reflect poorly on us.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Who's gonna tell on us? Gabe?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That'd be hilarious. Uh, "Jo, they're creating a hostile work environment. Stop 'em."</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nope, it won't be Gabe but actually, there is somebody in the office that is very, very close to Luke.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>How close?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, Dwight, he wiped his butt. Is that close enough for you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes. Of course.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Guys, I think Michael and Luke are related.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No. No, Toby. He's not. Yes he is. He's my nephew.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">All</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="meta">all</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Luke is my nephew.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael, that's nepotism. Luke is getting special treatment because he's your nephew.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes, exactly. That is a very nice way of putting it, Oscar. Mixing family and business is a beautiful thing.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What's wrong with a level playing field?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Do you think they should have had open auditions for the band Hanson? What if no one named Hanson showed up? That wouldn't even make sense. Or what if they just hired the littlest kid and a 50-year-old guy who was a murderer? Really safe.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, man, so many points being made.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I couldn't care less about nepotism. But, I'm loving the debate. Great minds battling it out. And I've got a front row seat.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>God, when he needed help on Earth, who did he hire? Jesus Christ, his son.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's a really tight argument.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thank you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>But you're comparing you and Luke to God and Jesus.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No! No. I'm just saying, why does God get to do something that I don't?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>This is hypothetical. We're talking about Luke who happens to be terrible.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, then, why aren't you bugging me to fire everybody who's bad? You just want me to fire Luke. That's reverse nepotism. He should not be punished because he is related to me and bad at what he does!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I would just like to say something off of what Darryl said about the level playing field. That is actually a zoning issue. So, thank you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>If there's nothing wrong with this, Michael, why have you been keeping it a secret?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Because I wanted you to come to me and say, "Wow, he is so great." And I was gonna say, "Well, it's in the genes." And I was actually gonna be wearing jeans. And I'd point to them, right? No. But you ruined it. So, thank you very much. Here he comes. Guys, look. I don't want you to treat him like anyone else in the office. I just want you to treat him like my nephew. Hey, there he is.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey! Ice cream afternoon!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wait, soy ice cream? Did you get real ice cream?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Or enough for everyone?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, man. There was no list. Uh, but I got bagel chips.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ah, my favorite part of an ice cream party. The bagel chips.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Clutch cream run, bro.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Get whatever you want, on me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You really think you can make it up to me with food?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't know. That usually works.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I feel horrible for blowing Jim's prank. I don't know if you can tell, but he's mildly upset. And Dwight hasn't been messed with in a while, so he's become a monster. I need to make this right.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I came down here to feed the feral cats like I usually do and I found something unsavory in the back of your nephew's car.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ok, you know what? Just -just back off! Back off!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, take a look. It's all the packages he was supposed to overnight. He never bothered to send them.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right, those might be his. He might own an Ebay store.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yep. That's exactly what my first thought was. And then I remembered having a conversation with him where he was like, "I don't own an Ebay store," so...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ok, ok. You know what? This is disgusting. This is like a witch hunt. This is like the Blair Witch Hunt project.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh sure, those are the expense reports that corporate was waiting for yesterday.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Let's just make this kid open this damn car.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh my gosh, those are the pants he wanted to return to Talbots.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm reconsidering sending them back anyway.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You get that kid to open this car, or I'm gonna do it myself... by calling Tripple A.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wait a minute.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[breaks into the car] I'm in.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Don't-all right. Well, ok, you've just committed a felony.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yep, here they are.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yep, I just lost a client cause I swore I sent these samples on time.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>This kid's costing us sales, Michael.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm sorry, do you want to try them on again to see.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, I know they fit. It's not about the fit.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why is this my problem, Michael?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Because Gabe tattled. I was perfectly happy to just hide it from you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Those overnight packages needed to go out, and Michael refuses to hold the guilty party accountable.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Lower yourself, Gabe. I don't wanna be having a conversation with your crotch. Ok, educate me now why you won't fire the boy.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You don't have all the facts.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Which are?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I love him.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, God. How far has it gone?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No. No. He's my nephew.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, I got a nephew too. But he don't work for me. You know why? Cause he's a screw-up. He can swim in my pool but he can't come in my house.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, this office is my pool. And my house is my house. And I just want my nephew to work in my pool.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>If you keep him, Michael, I'm gonna hold you accountable for him. You're on the hook for this kid. You got that? Cover his ass like tighty-whities.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I will cover his ass like moss on a Mississippi tree stump.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Was how I put it not clear enough? I mean, you had to go and make up your own saying? Deal with it, boys.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Luke and I have been working side-by-side as master and commander. Me as master, he as commander. Occasionally he will need a little push, and I will do that, and he'll slow down, and I'll push him again. That's the thing with kids, you have to keep pushing. You have to push them until they push you back. And then you push some more. It's all about give and take, but mostly it's about pushing each other.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, yeah. This'll be easy. So just, like, rearrange the buttons and stuff.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, yeah. Like when he presses "Doors closed" the doors open. Or he presses "lobby" it goes to third floor, stuff like that. Can you do that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah. Let me take a look at the circus board.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight is about to get so Pammed.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, did you SMS text message me?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, I wanted to show you something in the lobby. Come on.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[as elevator doors won't shut] Okay, that's weird. Just hitting "door closed." What?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>There we go.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Is this elevator going up? Hey, the elevator is disobeying us! [elevator stops between floors] Okay, okay. We are stuck. We are stuck. Hank, Hank! Can you hear us? Oh, my God. Okay. Emergency protocol.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Let's just calm down.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Pam, try and pry open those front doors, immediately.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't-</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Use your talons! Pry 'em open! [starts to urinate in elevator corner]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ok, Dwi-Oh, my God!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, don't look, freak!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, what are you doing!? We've only been in here for, like, two seconds!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I've got 56 ounces of fluid in my bladder! And we have to establish a pee corner!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You've gotta be kidding me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Luke is going to use his laser pointer to point to account setup. You click on that first, then a whole new-Not, no, no, no! [Luke points laser at Oscar's forehead] Luke, come on. Come on. Not on Oscar's head. Alright. Luke, come on. Stop it!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What? I'm stopping it. That's what you said.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Give me the pointer.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So you just want me to move it? You're being totally unclear here. I'm just gonna go ahead and move it. [points it at Angela's chest]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, just power it down. No, no, no, no, no. Not on Angela's boob. Come on. Come on. Luke, seriously.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right, fine. Fine. I'll just go.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm gone.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right. Okay. Good job. Okay, email accounts. So we're starting with account setup-</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, my God, is it in my eyeball? I think he's burning my eye.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael, do something.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sack up, man.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, can I have that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ok, I am going to count down from five.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Five, four...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Both</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="meta">both</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm not kidding.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Three, two, one.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Both</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="meta">both</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Give-okay. Alright, give it up.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[bending Luke over desk, spanking him repeatedly] You are going to learn to be more professional, Luke!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What the?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's what you're going to do, Luke!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What the hell was that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I had to do that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, [bleep] this! Screw it!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Luke</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">luke</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right. Are we good? [Luke runs out crying] You're okay. He's okay. There are many different schools of thought on capital punishment.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That was awesome!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Texas justice.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, your nephew is so lame.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>He's been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. Yeah, it's funny stuff, but mean.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You follow him on Twitter?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Everywhere I look it's Betty White this and Betty White that. Finally a kid that's not talking about Betty White. Of course I follow him.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael, you just physically assaulted an employee. Can we talk in private?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes, of course. What is this in reference to?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Pam?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, hey Jim. Some prankster switched the elevator buttons on Dwight.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I did not do this.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I know. Yeah, and it was going really great at first. I got video.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>This is impressive.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, you know... they don't call me the Bart Simpson of Scranton for nothing.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Do they call you that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>They do call me that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Come on, give me your hand. I'll help you down.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nope. Scared of getting cut in half. Also, there's pee on the floor.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh! Of course there is. Hey, Chinese tonight?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Great.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>How ya doin'?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Pretty good. You must be almost out of water.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Stop drinking the water! Stop!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[Phyllis and Andy act out Luke getting spanked] No, no, no, no. It's the other hand. Right hand. Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Would have been nice to work with my family. It would have been nice if Luke had been able to stay here. But he couldn't. These things seldom work out. I don't know how Ringling Brothers do it. Night after night, town after town, all across America. You would think they'd be sick of each other by now. But, clearly, they make it work. And my hat's off to them.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[Dwight starts aggressively spanking Andy] Whoa! Whoa! Hey. Whoa. Dwight! Stop!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Legal says the best way to protect us from a lawsuit is to call this a stress-induced outburst. You will have to undergo six sessions of counseling.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's it? Really? That's nothing. All right. That's highway robbery.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Good. Well, that's the spirit.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I can do that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>And, uh, you will do your counseling right here, because our HR staff are all certified counselors.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. Wait, what?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, I'm really looking forward to working with you, Michael.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Is there another option?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>The alternative is termination. [Michael stares off, considering termination...]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
</SceneList>
|