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41ac4e46ba4a9646caa53b8addfebf1b934eaf70
the-office/data/normalization/compile/5-13.xml

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<SceneList>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Last week I gave a fire safety talk. [clears throat] And nobody paid any attention. It's my own fault for using PowerPoint. PowerPoint is boring. People learn in a lot of different ways, but experience is the best teacher. [lights a cigarette] Today, smoking is gonna save lives. [throws cigarette into garbage can filled with paper and lighter fluid]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[looking around office to see if anyone notices the smoke] Does anyone smell anything smoky?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Did you bring your jerky in again?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[clears throat]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[points to smoke] Oh, my God! Uh, Oh my God!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Whoa, fire!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, fire! Oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do, people?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The phones are dead.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, how did that happen?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's out in the hall.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, we don't know that. The smoke could be coming through an air duct.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Stay [bleep] calm!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wait, wait, wait.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Everyone, now [bleep] calm down!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No! No, Michael! No! Touch the handle. If it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What does warm mean?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[groaning] Oh my God.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Everyone</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="meta">everyone</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not a viable option.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Try a different door.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, what's next?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't run.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh! Here's a door. Check that one out. How's the handle?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It- it's warm.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, uh, another option. [everyone chattering at once]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Back door.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Back to our options. Jeez! Ok! settle down everyone. No bunching!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh! I forgot my purse.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Leave it woman!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Get out of the way! Go, go, go!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Things can be replaced, Phyllis! People, human lives, however, can...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ah! My hand! That's hot!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Aah! This ones hot too!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, let's go.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[shouting] Out of my way! Let's go. Get out of my way!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Everyone</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="meta">everyone</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Calm, please</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Get out of the way!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Have you ever seen a burn victim?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Move it!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay! Procedure, procedure. Exit options. Where do we go folks? Wha- Use a what to cover the mouth?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[pulling cat out of filing drawer] It's okay. Shh shhh.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>A what? A rag. A damp rag, perhaps. Let's remember those procedures. What are the options? Okay, that's the wrong way. We've already tried that. Remember your exit points. Exit points people.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oscar.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's next?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oscar!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Stay alive! I'm getting help!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Pull me up!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're too heavy!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I only weigh 82 pounds! Uh- save Bandit! [throws cat into air duct and he falls out through the other side] Oh!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How about 911? Anyone? 911. [Michael throws a chair at the window, Kevin smashes a chair through the vending machine and begins to grab snacks, everyone is shouting.]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What do we do?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision-making.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, I am not dying here. Come on. [everyone is coughing from the smoke, Dwight lights some fire crackers and they start popping]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What is that? What is that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>The fire's shooting at us!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What in the name of God is going on?!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes! [Dwight pulls fire alarm] Yes, ba- Yes, battering ram! Battering ram!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ahhhh!!! [Oscar's leg crashes through the ceiling]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="true">{Phyllis} and {Creed}</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Go, go, go, go, go!! [Andy and Jim ram the door with the copy machine]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[throws the projector out the window] Help!! Help!!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm about to die!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[blowing air horn] Attention everyone! Employees of Dunder Mifflin! This has been a test of our emergency preparedness. There is no fire. It was only a simulation.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What?!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Fire not real. This was merely a training exercise. [Oscar drops down from the ceiling] So, what have we learned? [Stanley falls to the floor] Oh come on. It's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, no, no! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley! I'm gonna give him mouth to mouth.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, no, no! Don't give him mouth to mouth for this!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>He's going to swallow is tongue.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No. Michael. Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Open your mouth. Come on. Don't swallow it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[everyone shouting at once] Michael! Michael!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Leave me al-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're choking him!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Saving him!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How could you possibly think this is a good idea?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>A lot of ideas were not appreciated in their time.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Electricity.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Shampoo.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You could have burned down the whole building.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I just want to say for the record, I did not kill anyone. Stanley was attacked by his own heart. And he should be released from the hospital and back in the office in a couple days.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Did you shout, "Fire!", causing a panic?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lawyer</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">lawyer</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes I shouted "fire!". I shouted many things! I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building, so you can imagine my frustration as safety officer when nobody would heed of what- heeded-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hed. Hedded</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>When no one hedded-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Take hedded of.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>N-no one would take hedded of my instructions.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Heed. Heed.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So, you-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Take heed of.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And, well, I don't see my co-workers-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Take heed of.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hee-heeding this right now.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wh-what?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lawyer</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">lawyer</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay. [walks to the window, sighs] This city. Dwight. We are not mad, we are just disappointed.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, we are mad.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, we're not.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I am not a mind reader, David.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Look, this is very serious offense. We have cause to fire you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Can you shove down? Instead... shove down, please. Instead, what I think we should do is strip of your title as safety officer.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And we should take a part of his pay and donate it the charity of your choice. Something that Dwight doesn't like.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>PETA.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael, you have to take responsibility here. One of your employees had a heart attack. He could have died, because of the way that you are allowing your office to run. Do you want that on your conscious?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You talking to me?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well... I guess we papered over that pretty nicely. [chuckles] It always amuses me when corporate thinks they can make some big change with a twenty minute meeting in some fancy high-rise. What's the matter? You hungry?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[sighs] No, Dwight. I am worried. A man's life is in my hands.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't you worry about that. I got it covered. Okay?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I am planning a bomb scare that should really get the blood pumping.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's not gonna happen. I'm taking over as safety man.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What? You?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Come on.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm a smart guy. I'll figure it out.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's preposterous.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, I will.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nobody should have to go to work thinking, "Oh, this is the place that I might die today." That's what a hospital is for. An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to... An office is a place where dreams come true.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Shhh! Don't excite him. Don't make him excitable. [whispering] Welcome back, Stanley.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thank you, Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's true. Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback] Not maybe. Yes or no.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback] No way. Uh-uh.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback] Are you from another planet?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback] Boy, have you lost your mind? 'Cause I'll help you find it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback] Did I stutter?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback] I'm done. Goodbye.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>But the doctor said if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings I'm going to die.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Andy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in a British accent] A throne for your highness.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm not sitting in a wheelchair.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, no, no. No debate. You are going to sit in that wheelchair until you are back on your feet.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm going to die.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>A-B-C. Okay? And hat stands for... airway, breathing and circulation.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">CPR trainer</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">cpr-trainer</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, you know what? That could be a little confusing, because in sales A-B-C means "always be closing."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is a farce. I should be teaching this course.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Shut it. Shut it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We found ourselves on the less prepared side of things when Stanley had his... when his heart went berserk. And I knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do. So I thought we should have CPR training class and of course you can't get the practice dummy unless the instructor comes along with it. Red Cross, you know, racket.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[giving chest compressions to the practice dummy] I can't keep doing this forever.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's been 20 seconds.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">CPR Trainer</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">cpr-trainer</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Call it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Would you like to try next?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">CPR Trainer</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">cpr-trainer</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Absolutely I would not.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know who I really think should go? Stanley.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, I don't know.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's not a good idea, Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Come on.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>He needs to rest.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No rest for the sick. We are not always going to be there to coddle your heart back when it disappears to be working. What are you gonna do if you're by yourself and your heart stops?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I would die.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And you're okay with that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm okay with the logic of it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh-uh. No, no, no. Come on. Get up. Let's do this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes. I had a heart attack. I would quit, but I'm too old to find another job and I don't have enough saved to retire. I feel like I'm working in my own casket.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Come on Stanley. You're losing you. You're losing you. Do it!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is you we're talking about.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, okay. I'll show them. Here we go. [whispers] Stanley. All right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">CPR Trainer</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">cpr-trainer</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, Rose. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, that's not part of it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Rose</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">rose</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I would want to live with no legs.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin. You don't do anything.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right, well, lets get back to it. 'Cause you're losing him. Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute .</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Rose</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">rose</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>okay, that's uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How's that gonna help you?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I will divide and then count to it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Rose</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">rose</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, yes I do. I love that song. [clears throat, begins to sing] First I was afraid, I was petrified.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, it's-Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Rose</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">rose</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, I got it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[to Rose] You were in the parking lot earlier. That's how I know you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive [Andy joins in] Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man, no time to talk. Music loud, women warm, been kicked around since I was born. Oh, it's alright, it's okay, [Michael and Kelly join in] you can look the other way. Loo do do!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Rose</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">rose</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Da, da, da, da, da, da, da</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Rose</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">rose</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[muttering] Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Everyone</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="meta">everyone</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, okay. You didn't maintain 100 beats per minute, and the ambulance didn't arrive because nobody called 911. So you lost him.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Rose</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">rose</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, he's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I have no idea.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Rose</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">rose</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Anyone else?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We bury him?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wrong. Ehh. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one, we only have minutes to harvest.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>He has no wallet, I checked.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>He is an organ donor.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>He is.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Get me some ice and a styrofoam bucket. [pulls out knife from holder that is attached to his leg] Here we go.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh my God! Dwight!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dwight!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What are you- [people are yelling] What are you doing?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We search for the organs. Where's the heart? The precious heart.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm not feeling well. I need to sit down.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Stanley.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Stanley.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Are you okay?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh my God! [Dwight has cut the face off the CPR dummy and put it over his own]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh my God!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dwight!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Clarice?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh my God!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Could you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I didn't think it was very realistic in the movie and it turns out, it's pretty realistic.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We had to pay for it. Cost us thirty five hundred dollars.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">David Wallace</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">david-wallace</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Five thousand three hundred dollars for a dummy?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wow.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, look. David, this is why we have training. We start with the dummy, and we learn from our mistakes. And now Dwight knows not to cut the face off of a real person.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hope you brought your appetitos. My lady. My tuna. A little movie popcorn. [dumps popcorn in bowl, it's almost all seeds] Uh, damn it. This movie, a lot of buzz. Not coming out for another six months. Mrs. Albert Hannaday. So, friendship with the Nard-dog has its privileges.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We don't normally download films illegally. Because we're honest, hardworking people.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And we don't know how.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>But Andy does, so we have to watch it with him.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Punishment fits the crime.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[movie] I want you to meet my nana. Nana...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jessica Alba</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">jessica-alba</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mmmhmm...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lily</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">lily</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is Sam.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jessica Alba</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">jessica-alba</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hi. Nice to meet you Mrs. Hannaday.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Sam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">sam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Please- Call me Lily. [light chuckle] Let's play Bridge. You can be my partner.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lily</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">lily</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Alright... Lily.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Sam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">sam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[after Pam checks her cell phone] What's going on?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh, no one really knows, but Pam's parents are going through a little bit of a rough patch in their marriage.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>My dad spent the night at our place last night. My parents have been fighting for weeks and... it kinda sucks. Jim's been great. But I'm gonna need to buy my dad a robe.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>He's not saying what he needs to say.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hmm? Who? Sam?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I mean, they just need to communicate, you know? If they said to each other what they're saying to everyone else, then-</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hmm.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jim and Pam are, like, movie geniuses. They're catching things that are totally going over my head.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hi, everyone. Corporate has given Dwight two strikes. They are very, very upset with him. So, as a disciplinary measure he is going to have to issue a formal apology. Dwight, have you prepared your statement of regret?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I have.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Let's hear it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[clears throat] "I state my regret."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You couldn't of memorized that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I could not, because I do not feel it. Okay, everyone. I am going to need you to sign this statement of regret as an acknowledgement that you heard it. Okay? Everyone come on up here. It's not a big deal.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It is a big deal. You almost killed Stanley.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, right. I filled him full of butter and sugar for 50 years and forced him not to exercise. Now, take a lesson from Stanley and jog on up here and sign this, okay? Make a line. Just form a line right here. Sign it! Sign it now!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hi dad. Yeah Jim has shaving cream, check our bathroom.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[movie] I'm in here.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lily</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">lily</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I uh, I'm sorry I didn't uh, realize you were in a bath. Do you want me to go?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Sam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">sam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I want you to stay.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lily</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">lily</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Gimme a break.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I know it man. You know, Lilly was supposed to be Nicole Kidman, um and it was gonna be Sophie's mom, not grandmother. But then Nicole kidman dropped out so they went with Lily, with a small rewrite.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[movie] Get that in there. Oh yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Sam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">sam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Get that done already.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lily</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">lily</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I know but if I get it in deeper...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Sam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">sam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[to Pam] Can you believe this? [pause] He was pretty talkative at breakfast.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah... but... eh... breakfast? You mean when they were eating soup? I don't think that was breakfast. Unless soup, does soup symbolize breakfast?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So he doesn't share it with his daughter but he shares it with his daughter's fiance?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You guys, they're making out.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Um, did my dad say anything about my mom?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mmm... nope, we mostly just talked about cereal.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[sighs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I dunno. I mean, maybe he'll talk to you about some of this stuff 'cause he can't really talk to me about it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mmm...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're good to talk to.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[laughs] I'm ok, I'm not, great, and um... [nods]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in a monk-impression tone] Ohmmm... Ohmmm... Everybody sit on the floor Indian style like me. [Meredtih sits Indian style in a dress exposing herself right in front of Michael] Ohmmm my God if you're wearing a dress please keep your knees together nobody wants to see that ohmmm... ohmmm...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>My goal is to make this office as peaceful a place for Stanley Hudson as I can. I think sounds have a lot to do with that. Here are some downloaded peaceful sounds. [a couple of sounds play on the computer] That one makes me think... of death. It's kinda nice...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[everyone is lying on the floor in the conference room with the light off, Michael is walking around with a candle in his hand] It is a beautiful, sunny day as we walk through the meadow that is very spiritual and relaxing and there are flowers and it is sunny and beautiful. Now, up ahead, a castle, in a distance.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't open your eyes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What? [opens her eyes, Michael is standing over her] Oh...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And you walk up toward the castle, and inside the castle are 4 men, and each of them, none of them have shoes, and they give you a funny cigarette, and you feel even more relaxed, and then you want ice cream. You want a big bowl of ice cream. What kind do you want? Shout it out.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Chunky monkey.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Too expensive.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Chocolate.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Racism is dead Stanley, you can have any kind of ice cream you want. What do you want? [beeping starts] What is that? People! Please I told you to get rid of the cell phones.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's my bio-feedback machine..</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, ok. What is that, like, a video game?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It alerts me when my stress level goes up so I can try to calm down.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You have stress?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>During our relaxation exercise?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Let me get you some water.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No no, I'll help you. I'll help you up. Here we go.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, Michael, No. [beeping speeds up]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Let me getcha.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Would ya, would ya step back please</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ok, alright.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Please. A little further.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ok. [beeping slows down]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's better. [Michael walks back towards Stanley and the beeping goes up again]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ok... I think that thing is on the fritz. Ahh... Oscar, would you reach over and touch his thing? That's what HE said! Right guys, 'cause of gay? [Oscar has Stanley's monitor now] Let's give this a shot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hellloo... [beeping speeds up as Michael gets closer]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael, I think you're what's stressing everybody out.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So... it wasn't Dwight after all. Looks like I am the killer. You never expect that you're the killer... it's uh... great twist. Great twist.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dunder Mifflin this is Pam. Oh, hey Mom. No, what did Dad say?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What did you say to my dad?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>After you talked, he called my mom and said he was gonna look for an apartment.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh my God. Pam, I don't know, I, nothing, truly, nothing. I mean, I, I just was honest with him and I, I'm so sorry, I don't know. I'll call him again. [Pam rolls her eyes and walks away]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, so... it was her parents or my parents...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What could Jim have said to make my dad want to leave my mom? And at what point in our marriage is he gonna say it to me?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't get it. Do I stress you out?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Speaking of which... [hands Michael the paper to sign for Dwight's formal apology]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Remember when people used to say boss, when they were describing something that was really cool like, those shoulder pads are really boss man... Look at that perm, that perm is so boss. It's what made me want to become a boss. And I looked so good in a perm and shoulder pads. But now, boss is just slang for jerk in charge.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ok everybody, I've figured it out. The reason that you are all so stressed around me is that you are too intimidated to tell me what you really think. [Jim shakes his head at the camera] You are keeping these feelings inside, and that is what's causing stress. So, what is the solution? Solution is honesty, laughter, and comedy. In short...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>A vacation.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What? No. No, I am talking about a roast! Of Michael Scott! Oh c'mon! Who here has the Comedy Central Roast channel? You've seen it right? Everybody gets together, and everyone starts hurling insults at the one guy, and everybody's laughing, and everybody's hugging each other...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael are you serious? You really want us to roast you?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Si senor.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's offensive.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's not! It's not offensive during a roast! Anything goes! I want you guys to really get crackin on this. I want you to take me down. Don't hold back. I want you to really make fun of anything about me. It could be my race, could be the fact that I'm so fit, or I'm a womanizer... fair game. Whatever. I don't want to write your stuff for you, but I just want it to be good.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[giggling] Oh my GOD... Oh man... Ohhhhh my God...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I consider myself a good person. But I'm gonna try to make him cry.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I can already feel people's stress starting to melt. I think they're very excited about paying their respects this way. I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>May I have your attention please? Sign in, sign in on the sign in sheet, the clipboard. This meeting is mandatory, if you do not sign in your name will not be counted. Thank you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, this is your apology letter.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That was the last signature I needed.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Whoo!! Welcome welcome welcome welcome welcome. You are all jerks. Just kidding, not yet anyway. Welcome to the roast of Mr. Michael Scott. If you're here for the Grabowski wedding, it is the second door on the left. [Creed looks around] So, we all know how these work, needs to get crazy, take your best shot. I am going to sit right here on my chair and... ah... whoever wants to come up and roast me, you may. [Angela jumps up] Ok... lower the mic for the midget.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>If you ever wondered if you were Michael Scott, here's a quiz to help. If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott. [laughter]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I normally don't enjoy making people laugh. [grin]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>If you ever called the fire department 'cause your head was stuck in your chair you might be...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael Scott! [laughter]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Group</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">group</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey Hey, I don't go make burgers where you work and then tell you how to make burgers. Ha ha!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I have made a list of people that I would make out with before I would make out with Michael Scott. A turtle, a fridge, anybody from the warehouse, a woodchipper, Kevin, a candle, and Lord Voldemort. Anyway, Happy Birthday Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're so lucky! Good one... [clapping]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael? You ran over me with your car. You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board with a caption that said "Gross"...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael, you are the reason I drink. You are the reason I live to forget.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Pow pow pow... [hands making gunshot impression, sporadic clapping]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[yelling at Michael in Spanish]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[Toby tries to come on stage] NO! No, friends only. Friends ONLY. [Toby shrugs and sits back down]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I know where this is goin'.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do ya?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ok. Remember Spider face?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. 'Cause the quote was, cut off your nose to spiderface.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Spite her - ok [laughter]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah... yep.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How dare you all attack him like this.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, stop it Dwight.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael is your superior.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No no no no no no!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay, you should be bowing down in front of him.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dwight your'e supposed to do it this way.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ok, no, they don't understand who they have...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That is the way you're supposed to do it, idiot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're interrupting me. I'm trying to get your back.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Idiot. Idiot! Idiot. Idiot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Are you calling me an idiot?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Idiot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't you ever talk to me that way. You pathetic, short little man. You don't have any friends, or any family, or any land. [clapping and whooing]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well I just want to take a minute to talk to you all about something very serious. Once every hour, someone is involved in an internet scam. That man is Michael Scott. [laughter] He's supporting about 20 Nigerian princesses.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, ya know what? Forgive me for caring. Right?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, ya know, Michael is a great delegator. He never does any work himself. Ever. And one time, I walked in on him naked, and his thing is so small. [quickly walks off stage] If it were an iPod it would be a shuffle! [clapping, laughter]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Can I make just a little announcement. In a professional roast, usually the roaster will say something nice about the roastee after they're done, something about how much they love them, so, just, keep that in mind.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mike claims, we're all a family isn't that right?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We are, we are a family.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ok, so um, what's his name? All the way in the back there.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh very funny.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's his name?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uhh... hehe hah! I'm thinking Roy?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Roy left years ago. What's his name?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't believe I have had the pleasure.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael I gave you a ride home last week, we spent an hour in traffic...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="true">Warehouse {Michael}</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's his name?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jefferson.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nope. His name is Michael. [Michael makes the da dum ksch on the drumset again]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[singing and playing the guitar] What I hate about you, you really suck as a boss, you're the laziest, jerkiest and you're dumber than applesauce. We're stuck listening to you all day, Stanley tried to die just to get away, heeey, well it's true. That's what I hate about you. That's what I hate about you. Yeah. And now, a man that deserves no introduction, Michael Scott.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Haha ha. Thank you very much, thank you. That was great. Great job, great laughs. Really, really went after my intelligence there. [clears throat] Dozens of online IQ test might prove you wrong, but, and my thing isn't tiny, its average, so... get your facts straight. [clears throat again] So when I heard that there was going to be a roast in my honor, I thought [choking up, clears throat again] sorry. [laughs nervously] I think I have a frog in my throat. Um... [sigh] I decided to jot down some quick thoughts about you people, um, first up Phyllis and Kevin. Uh um... [Michael walks off stage, knocking over the snare drum]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dunder Mifflin this is Pam. Uh, I'm sorry, Michael's not here right now can I take a message? Great. I will. Thanks.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's very unusual for Michael not to show up to work. My guess? He's either deeply depressed, or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them and staring up at them. And I always say Michael, take two steps back, and stare at the icicle from the side. And he's like no, I like the way they look from standing directly underneath them.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[in the lunch room, with a sock puppet] He is so dumb that he tries to put his M&amp;Ms in alphabetical order. [giggles]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Alright Kevin. Enough with the Michael jokes. I think he got it bad enough yesterday.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm almost done.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That reeks, and I'm trying to eat.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Attention everyone I just got a text from Michael. He says personnel day. Are we hiring?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yep. You're being replaced.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I think he meant personal day.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, that's quite a leap Pam.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I hope he's ok, I feel bad.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Give it up, he's dead.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>He just sent a text...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's a text?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[at a park throwing whole pieces of bread] Caw... caw... caw caw... caw...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know sometimes, to get perspective, I like to think about a spaceman on a star incredibly far away. And, our problems don't matter to him, because we're just a distant point of light. But he feels sorry for me, because he has an incredibly powerful microscope, and he can see my face. [looks towards the sky] I'm okay. No, I'm not.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Phyllis there's a package for you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, ok. [Phyllis signs for the package, opens an empty box]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[after snatching the clipboard with her signature] Got it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[movie] Sam, Sam Sam. It's not that you dumped my granddaughter, and its not that you want children. It, it's that you lied to me. Can't you see that? Can't you see? Oh, I can never trust you. [Andy looks like he's going to cry]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lily</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">lily</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Lilly no. Lilly! Lilly please! Lilly STOP! I don't care how much time we have left. I don't care what my friends say! And I don't care what your mom thinks! Frankly I'm pretty sure she's not makin any sense. Please. Move back to my apartment. [Andy's crying, "I'm All Out of Love" starts playing] Lilly. I'm not giving up. I'm not giving up. Lilly... Lilly! Push the reverse button! Reverse the button!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Sam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="background">sam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[through tears] Sam! Sam!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey Dad. No I know, Mom told me. Ok. Yeah I'll see ya then.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So what did he say? Was it my fault?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah. He said that you told him how much you love me. About how you feel when I walk in a room, and about how, you've never doubted for a second that I'm the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. I guess he's never felt that with my mom, even at their best.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You ok?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah. [they hug]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>When you're a kid you assume your parents are soul mates. My kids are gonna be right about that. I guess it also means that sometimes love affairs look different to the people inside them. [Andy is in the background, looks incredulous]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I am not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Mm... maybe I could be a food critic. These muffins taste bad. Hmm, or an art critic. That painting is bad.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael! It's really good to see you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey. Why are you wearing a turtleneck?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Are you alright?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael, I feel like I was a little harsh yesterday. [murmurs of agreement]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I um, I spent the afternoon in the park trying to feed the pigeons, I guess they all flew west for the winter, and I, I just had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you people.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget. Jim, you're 6'11 and you weigh 90 pounds, Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, you're teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela where's Angela? [Angela raises her hand] Whoa there you are, I didn't see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are... [Stanley is laughing] Oscar, you're gay.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wow.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck. And you're gayer than Oscar. Boom. Roasted. [Stanley is still laughing] Alright. Alright everybody, you know I kid, you know I kid. You guys are the reason I went into the paper business, so, uh, goodnight, God bless, God bless America, and get home safe. [clapping and murmurs of appreciation]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>They say that laughter is the best medicine so Stanley, you can throw away those pills. You are cured. Actually, you should... better hold onto them pills, just in case.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
</SceneList>
Reference in New Issue View Git Blame Copy Permalink