mirror of
https://github.com/Xevion/the-office.git
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1954 lines
74 KiB
XML
Vendored
1954 lines
74 KiB
XML
Vendored
<SceneList>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I have left Dunder-Mifflin after many record-breaking years and am officially on the job market. And it's very exciting.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>For your convenience, I've broken it down into three parts: professional resume, athletic and special skills resume, and Dwight Schrute trivia.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working, Alpha male, Jackhammer, Merciless, Insatiable.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>There is nothing on my horizon except everything. Everything is on my horizon.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[in Staples uniform] I got this job to make some money while I continue my employment search. And uh, it's fine for the time being. Oops. Break's over.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[to Ryan] Big Turkey. [cellphone plays "Rockin' Robin"]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Is that you singing?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>All four parts. Recorded it on my computer. It took me forever.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Nice job.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Thank you muchly. [cellphone continues playing]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You gonna answer it?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I called it myself. I just thought you'd get a kick out of the new ring.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yikes.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Side note. I'd just like to say I'm thrilled to be working directly beneath you.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Thank you.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I feel I have a lot to learn from you, even though you're younger and have less experience. So here's to the future... Andy and the Tuna. [sings] Andy and the tuna...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yes, Dwight Schrute has left this company. More personnel turnover.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>The cost of doing business.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yes, well. It is a big loss. Dwight was the top salesman...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Was the top salesman...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I said 'was'.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[chuckles] Addition by subtraction.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>What does that even mean? That is impossible.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Mmmm. Yeah you're right.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>But, there is some good news. Oscar is back. Addition by addition. So we are going to have a big party today to welcome him back and hopefully that will lift everybody's spirits.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, everyone.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oh, hello, Oscar. How was your gay-cation?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oh, that's very funny.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah? I thought of it like, two seconds after you left.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[sits at his desk] Hi, Angela.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oscar.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, boss.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, what's up.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Noooothin'. Ehrrrrrrrrr. Heh. Man. TGI-Wednesday. Am I right?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yep.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Gonna go home. Get my beer on. Get my "Lost" on. What are you doing later, wanna hang out?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I don't know. Maybe.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Well, I will take that as a maybe. [Michael gets up] Where are you going?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Bathroom.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oh, well, I'm going to the kitchen, I'll walk with you.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[lurking by the bathroom door] Yeah, things are going pretty good. Gettin' a lot of face time with the boss.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oscar? I have a question. Would you like to join the party planning committee?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>The one of all women?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Because I'm gay?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No. No. Certain events have transpired. And I've thought about certain things. And I'm sorry for the way those certain events transpired. [starts to cry] And I would just like to make some changes about certain things and certain situations.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>OK, OK, OK, all right, all right. I'll join. I'd love to. That's -- thank you.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Thank you. [sniffles]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Can I join too?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Never.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You sell those two printers this morning? Nice work.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Staples Employee</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="background">staples-employee</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[scoffs] Child's play. Give me something hard to sell.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Wow. [walks over to the plant] What is wrong with this thing? It looks terrible.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Do you want me to ask the cleaning crew if they stopped watering it?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah. And you know what? Ask them about the toys on my desk too. They always used to arrange them in a very pleasing way. It used to brighten my morning.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, that wasn't the night crew. That was Dwight.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Really? That was very nice of him. We need more attitude like that around the office.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Feel ya, dawg.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, do you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Absolutely.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What did I say?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You said... [makes gibberish noises]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Huh.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Which is like, "Right on." And Pam was like "blah blah blah" and you were like "Yeah, psht." Nailed it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, no.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, no.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Love that Andy, right? Solid fellow. Seems smart enough. Likes me a lot. A lot. Too much. Like a crazy person. A little. Not super crazy... just... there's something about him that creeps me out. I can't really explain it. He's always up in my bidness. Which is ebonics for "being in my face and annoying the bejesus out of me." I don't understand how someone could have so little self-awareness.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I really have no preference. We don't even have to have a party.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, hey, hey. Don't be ridiculous. Of course we are going to have a party. A celebration of Oscar. Oscar night. And I want it to be Oscar-specific.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael --</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, no, no. I mean, not because you're gay. Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you to me. And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis... I want you to go find firecrackers. And a Chihuahua. Pam, in the frozen food section, Swanson makes a delightful chimichanga.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey into the office like Pepe.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ah, a burro, of course. If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Need any help?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, no, thank you. I'm just looking.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Great. I will literally be standing right here if you need anything at all.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. [moves away]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I think I could go for some tuna fish right about now. Oh, oh, got my rod here. [fake casts off] Whizzzzz. [catches Jim] Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. [Jim gets up] Cli -- ah! I got one! I got one! Ahhhh!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So Andy is in rare form today.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, you should not encourage him.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Encourage him? I'm the victim, okay? He's fishing for me. We've got to do something.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Look, I've got like fifteen new clients I inherited from Dwight and each file is password protected with a different mythical creature. So, I'm sorry. I can't.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Fine. Party pooper.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Who's that sportscaster that bit that lady? Marv something? Andy is like Marv Something. Great sportscaster. Big weirdo creep.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>185 pounder. Check it out. Whew! ["displays" Jim who looks thoroughly annoyed]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, Ryan?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You wanna pull a prank on Andy?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Not right now, but ask me again ten years ago.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I liked you better when you were the temp.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, me too.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey guys. How's the workload on all of Dwight's old accounts? Handling it okay?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sort of. He had a lot of clients.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes, he did. Have any of you talked to Dwight?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, sure, we talk all the time.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Really?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Don't - don't do that. That's not nice. What about you, Phyllis? You and Dwight were close.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No. Sorry.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight has a big personality and I have a big personality. And a lot of times when two people like that get together it can be explosive.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Really comin' down out there. Commute's gonna be hell.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Paris</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">paris</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I have snow tires and chains. Plus exceptional hand-eye coordination.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So um, where were you workin' before this?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Paris</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">paris</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dunder-Mifflin.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What kind of company is that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Paris</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">paris</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[scoffs] Paper company. They're only one of Staples' top competitors in the area.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I never heard of 'em.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Paris</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">paris</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Whoa. Really? Have you heard of paper?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You gonna be like that, huh?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Paris</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">paris</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't like him, his giant head, or his beady little eyes. That's all I got to say on the matter.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Paris</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">paris</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[singing] In your he-ead, in your he-eyd-ed. Zombie. Zombie. Zombie. Ey, ey, ey, ey. In your he-eyd-ed.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Would you like to pull a prank on Andy?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, I'm kind of in the middle of -- yes please.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, good. Stay right here.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[after Jim knocks over his pencils] Oh. Good move, Tuna. Nice one.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[hands Pam Andy's phone] Are there any messages?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nope.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So weird.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[takes the phone] Hmm.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nice to have Oscar back.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Large Tuna. Have you seen my cell phone device?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Cause someone is calling right now. There is a call.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Angela?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh. [hands Pam tape]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Is everything okay?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What's going on?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What are you talking about?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Where is my FREAKING phone?!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know what? Maybe it's in the ceiling.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Maybe you're in the ceiling!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[trying to look in Phyllis's desk, she slams the drawer shut] I don't trust you, Phyllis!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I wanted to let you know that Dwight was late that morning because he was driving to New York to drop off the correlated documents that I forgot to send. Though to be fair, Kevin never reminded me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why would Dwight do that for you? I think I know why. Because Dwight loves this company.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Do you think that anyone else out there would have driven to corporate for you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>None of them. Especially not Andy.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Pam, I have a mission to accomplish. Make sure this party gets rolling and I will be back shortly.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wait up. Where are you going? Do you want me to come with?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Um.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Just listen, I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bars, beers, buzzed. Wings. Shots. Drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football - Cornell/Hofstra. Slaughter. Then a quick nap at my place and we'll hit the tiz-own.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No. I don't want to do any of that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Duh. Which is why I was just joking about doing that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, just stop. Stop. Stop doing it. You're going to drive me crazy.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Fine. I'll just sit at my desk and be quiet. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. [Andy's phone rings] Excuse me. And I'm also sorry that a lot of people here for some reason think it's funny to steal someone's personal property and hide it from them. Here's a little newsflash! It's not funny! In fact, it's pretty freakin' unfunny! Oh, my GOD. [punches a hole in the wall] That... was an overreaction. Gonna hit the break room. Does anybody want anything? Pam, you good?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sure? Okay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[to customer] Well, that question is meaningless. Just go with the copy paper. It's your funeral. See how that works out for you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What's up?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Same old.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Um. It takes a big man to admit his mistake. And I am that big man. Angela from accounting told me what you did.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh my God, she told you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes, she did. And Dwight, if you were willing to do something like that for some random co-worker, then clearly I have misjudged you from the beginning, and I apologize.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Accepted.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>How's this place treating you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[scoffs] The boss isn't funny.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, well.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't get to wear my ties.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No. I'm sure.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So, maybe you should come back. You should come back. Please.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't want to do your laundry anymore.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We can talk about that. [Dwight high fives Michael] All right.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[inspecting the hole in the wall] Oh my God, that's half-inch drywall.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I think we broke his brain. [they both snicker]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[imitating Andy] "It's not freakin' funny!"</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Are you enjoying your fiesta?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Actually, yeah. I didn't think I would, but turns out -- [Angela walks away] it's great.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ladies and gentlemen! May I present... Mr. Dwight Schrute!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yay. [scattered appalause]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Everybody</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="meta">everybody</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Welcome back.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thank you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, Dwight, you can let go of her hand. You're gonna break it. [looks around the room] Not bad, huh?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You did this for me? [camera pans to "Welcome Back Oscar" sign]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Guilty.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh... Where did you get this stuff?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Gerty's.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Which aisle?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't remember.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, draw me a map, mama.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Pam. I will shake mine and then you will shake yours.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, I will not.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So does this remind you of your childhood right now?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It reminds me a lot of the 'Three Amigos' with Steve Martin and Chevy Chase.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wow. Thank you. Wow, that's- thanks so much.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[sighs] Do you still have feelings for her?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Karen</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">karen</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[long pause and then he sighs and nods] Yes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>And now, ladies and gentlemen, the big finale! Sir, would you do the honor? [hands broom to Dwight, though Oscar thinks he's handing it to him]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, man. [Kevin starts to put a blindfold on] No, no, no. I don't need it. Get out! [beats up pinata]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It takes a big man to admit his mistake and that's what I did. The important thing is I learned something. I don't want somebody sucking up to me because they think I'm going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me. Hmm.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So Michael had a little chat with corporate and they decided to send me to management training. Anger management, technically, but still. Management material. [gets out of his car] This whole thing supposed to take ten weeks, but I can be done in five. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and positive reinforcement through nods and smiles. So, don't worry about old Andy Bernard. I'll be back. Just like Rambo, so.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, hi. You must be Andy.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Marcy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">marcy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, hi! Yes. I am and you must be... Marcy!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's right, it's so good to meet you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Marcy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">marcy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's so good to meet you!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thanks. Well, you ready to have some fun?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Marcy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">marcy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
</SceneList>
|