mirror of
https://github.com/Xevion/the-office.git
synced 2025-12-15 08:13:29 -06:00
3017 lines
118 KiB
XML
Vendored
3017 lines
118 KiB
XML
Vendored
<SceneList>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Pam. Pamela. Pam-elama-ding-dong. Making copies.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I'm not making any copies.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Let's go. Messages. Stat. Lots to do, lots to do. Information superhighway.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Nothing new.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Lay them on me. What?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>There's nothing new.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>That's not what you said earlier.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oh, do you want me to repeat the messages that I gave you before for the... [nods toward camera]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>The most sacred thing I do is care and provide for my workers, my family. I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but through the money. I heal them. Today, I am in charge of picking a great new health care plan. Right? That's what this is all about. Does that make me their doctor? Um... Yes, in a way. Yeah, like a specialist.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>So, which health plan have you decided on?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I am going to go with the best, Jan. I am going to go with the one with the acupuncture, therapeutic massage, you know, the works.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Wait, acupuncture? None of the plans have acupuncture. Have you looked at them closely Michael?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I think it was you who didn't look closely enough at the Gold Plan.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>The Gold Plan? I'm not even on that plan.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Well, I'd recommend it. It's very good.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Michael.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You gotta crack these things open.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You know the whole reason that we're doing this, is to save money. So you just need to pick a provider and choose the cheapest plan.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Well, that is kind of a tough assignment. Um... It won't be popular decision around the old orifice.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>It's your job. So...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Well, it's a suicide mission, you know.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Michael... maybe... I mean...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>There, there...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Sometimes a manager, like yourself, has to deliver the bad news to the employees. I do it all the time.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[scoffs] When have you ever done that?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I'm doing it right now. To you.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Last night on Trading Spouses, there's... have you seen it?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No. I have a life.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Interesting, what's that like?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You should try it sometime.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Wow. But then who would watch my TV? That is...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[laughs]... your problem.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Jimbo! Ha haaaaa. Ah.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>There's a decision that needs to be made, and I'm having an unbelievably a busy day. So I'm going to let you pick a health care plan for our office and then explain it to your co-workers.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Gosh.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>That is a great offer. Thank you. I really think I should be concentrating on sales.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Really?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah. I just don't think this is the kind of task, that I... am going to do. You know who would be great for this?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Any time Michael asks me to do anything, I just tell him that Dwight should do it.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yes. I can do it. I'm your man.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company then this would be my career. And uh, well, if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>OK, first, let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Ah, none. You're picking a health care plan.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>OK, we'll table that for the time being. Two, I'll need an office. I think the conference room should be fine.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You can use the conference room as a temporary workspace.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[to self] Yes, I have an office. [to camera] Bigger than his.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Nope, you cannot use it.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>OK, I take it back, it's a workspace.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Temporary workspace. You can use it.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Thank you.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>If Dwight fails, then that is strike two, and good for me for, ah, for giving him a second chance. And if he succeeds, then, you know, no one will be prouder than I am. I groomed him. I made him what he is today. Unless he fails, and we've talked about that already.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">michael</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>What did I do? I did my job. I slashed benefits to the bone. I saved this company money. Was I too harsh? Maybe. I don't believe in coddling people.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>There's no dental, there's no vision, there's a $1,200 deductible.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on phone] Pam, Michael Scott. How's tricks?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Where are you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, I am in my office. I am swamped. I have work up to my ears I'm busy, busy, busy. Can't step away. I just wanted to check in and see how everybody's doing. Everybody cool out there?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Actually, people are really unhappy. Um, Dwight sent around this memo and people are freaking out 'cause the...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Pam! Whoa, whoa, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I, I, I, I gotta go. I'm getting a call.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No you're not.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I have to make a call after I finish... my work. You know what? Uh, just don't let anybody in my office under any conditions today. I'm just too busy. Too swamped, you know? I am unreachable. I am incommunicado, capisce?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thank you, Oh, gah, here we go again. Gotta go, I have to take this.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Still no one calling.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, what...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, knock, please. Please knock. This is an office.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It says "workspace".</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Same thing.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>If it's the same thing, then why did you write "workspace"?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Just knock, Please? As a sign of respect for your superior.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You are not my superior.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh gee, then why do I have an office?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I thought it was a workspace?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK. Dwight. Are you really in charge of picking the health care plan?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes. And my decision in final.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>This is a ridiculously awful plan. Because you cut everything.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Aww, times are tough, Pam. Deal with it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You cut more than you had to, didn't you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sure.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, why did you do that? You work here, don't you want good insurance?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Don't need it. Never been sick. Perfect immune system.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, well, if you've never been sick, then you don't have any antibodies.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't need them. Superior genes. I'm a Schrute. And superior brain power. Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So I can lower it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>He literally won't come out of his office.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>He's got to come out sometime. To go to the bathroom.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Kevin! That's inappropriate.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael, can I talk to you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ah, uh, I would love to, but I am really busy. Rain check?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael. Michael, please, can we talk to you about this memo?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ah, what? Which memo?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight's health care memo. I told you about it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Is it a good plan?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's a great plan. It saves the company a fortune.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's like a pay decrease.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael, he made huge cuts.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Cuts? What? Wow, Dwight, did you make cuts?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, you said...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, no , no, you know what? I said nothing specific because I was so busy. Why don't you go in there and find these people a plan that will work for them? OK?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I can handle that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK? All right. Do we feel good? All right. Good. Plus, there's some other good news. Today, at the end of the day, I will have, for all of you, a big surprise. OK? So hang in there, and I will see you at the end of the day. Right?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>This is not good.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's ridiculous. Did you talk to him?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What was that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You let him walk all over you. It's just pathetic.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What are you guys talking about?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nothing, Kevin.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Do I know what the surprise is? Hell no! It doesn't matter. The point is, they're not unhappy anymore. They're out there thinking, "Wow, my boss really cares about me. He has a surprise. He's cool. I... what a great guy. I love him. I... love him.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, everyone. Gather round. Step forward. It has been brought to my attention that some of you are unhappy with my plan. So what I'd like you to do is to fill this out and write down any diseases you have that you might want covered and I'll see what I can do.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, you know what Dwight? We can't write our diseases down for you because that's confidential.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, well, I didn't say to write your name down, did I? Fill it out, leave it anonymous. Or, don't write any disease down at all and it won't be covered. Sound fair? Good. I'll be in my office.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Workspace.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know what? Come with me. We are going on a little mission. Operation Surprise.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Where are you going?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Um, headed out. Part of my busy day, you know. Meetings. [Giggles] Couldn't find the knob.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So, basically, I want to do something nice for my employees. Atlantic City, OK? They have this thing where they send a bus, right, for free. Picks everybody up, you head down there, get to the hotel, room is comped, they give you a pile of chips, and your food, everything just kind of all-inclusive, free kind of weekend.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't know of anything like that, but, um, you know what you might want to do, is just call those casinos directly. Um, maybe?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Travel Agent</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">travel-agent</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did, so...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wait. What are you writing? Don't write Ebola or mad cow disease. Right? 'Cause I'm suffering from both.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm inventing new diseases.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, great.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So, let's say my teeth turn to liquid and then, they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I thought you said you were inventing diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nice.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thank you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on his cell phone] Calling you to ask you a little favoroonie my friend. Um, trying to give the troops around here a little bit of a boost. And I was thinking that maybe we could take them down to take a spin on your big ride.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You mean the elevator that takes you down into the mineshaft? It's not really a ride.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Its says here that it's a 300ft drop.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It goes 300 feet into the earth, but it moves really slowly.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So it's not a free fall?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's an industrial coal elevator.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, all right. Well, once you get down into the mine, what... you got laser tag or something?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, so I don't know what the surprise is. Am I worried? No. No way. See, I thrive on this. This is my world. This is improv. This is Whose Line is it Anyway?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Damnit! Damnit Jim!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right, who did this? I'm not mad. I just want to know who did it so I can punish them.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What are you talking about?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, someone forged, uh, medical information and that is a felony.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, whoa. 'Cause that is a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, leprosy? Flesh eating bacteria. Hot-dog fingers. Government-created killer nanorobot infection.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You did this, didn't you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Absolutely not.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes you did.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No I didn't.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I know it was you. Fine. You know what? I'll have to interview each and every one of you until the perpetrator makes him or herself known. And until that time, there will be no health care coverage for any one!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Killer nanorobots?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's an epidemic.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won't receive the care they need, because someone in this office is coming up with all this ridiculous stuff. [reads off of paper] "Count Choculitis"</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sounds tough.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why did you write that down Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Do you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I think you need to confess...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Mmm hmm.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>...the fact...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yep.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What are you doing? Those are my keys.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Good luck. [closes door and locks it]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jim! Damnit! No! Jim! Let me out! Jim! Let... [Without looking, Jim throws his keys to his left, they land on a shelf next to Stanley]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[looks at keys, continues talking on phone] ...the light green or green...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[answering phone] Jim Halpert.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Let me out.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Who is this?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Let me out or you're fired.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, you can't fire me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes I can. I'm manager for the day. Clean out your desk.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, can you hold on? I'm getting the, ah, beep. [presses button on phone]] Jim Halpert.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on phone] Hey, Jim. It's Pam.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey Pam! How are you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jim! Open the door!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Good, how are you? Busy?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm doing OK. Getting excited for the weekend though. What are you up to?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jim!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Um, I'm not bothering you, am I?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, not at all.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You don't have anything you're doing?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I have nothing to do.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jim!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh great. Um, no, this weekend? Nothing. I'm not really doing anything.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jim!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh yeah?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I might go to the mall.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>The mall?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jim!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I need new shoes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, interesting, what kind of shoes?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hello?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, hello. Uh, this is Dwight Schrute calling for Jan Levenson-Gould.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>This is Jan.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hi. Dwight Schrute calling, acting manager, Scranton branch. Listen, I needed your permission to fire Jim Halpert.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Who is this?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight Schrute.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>From sales?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Where's Michael Scott?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>He is not here right now. He put me in charge of the office.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, listen to me very carefully. You are not a manager of anything. Understand?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's not entirely true, because he put me in charge of picking the health care plan.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Really?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, when Michael gets back, you tell him to call me immediately.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Call you immediately. Good. Oh, hey, listen, um, since I have you on the phone, um, can I fire Jim?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No. Please don't use my cell phone ever again.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, this is your cell, I thought this was your... [dial tone]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, hey, everybody, Ice-cream sandwiches! Aaaahh! [laughs] Here you go. Take one, take one. It's all good. Phyllis, think fast. Ya-bome! Oh, oh, I see Angela. Angela? Right? Waaaaah! Oh, hey temp. Why don't you take two? Because you don't get health care. And uh, faster metabolism.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Did you get the kind with the cookies? Instead of the...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why don't you just eat it, OK? And here you go, Stanley the manly.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, thanks.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>There you go.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>This isn't the big surprise, is it? Because we've been having a pretty horrible day.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, nope. Nope. This isn't the surprise. It's surprising, um... because you didn't expect it. But you will... you'll know it when you see it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael. Michael?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[under his breath] Oh, Christ.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I tried being rational, OK? And what happened? The employees went crazy, I got no help from corporate. That leaves me with no options.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm now going to read out loud your submitted medical conditions. When you hear yours read, please raise your hand to indicate that it is real. If you do not raise your hand, it will not be covered.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What about confidentiality?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know what? You have forfeited that privilege. I have tried to treat you all as adults, but obviously I am the only adult here. Number one, inverted penis.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Could you mean vagina? Because if you do, I want that covered.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, great. Dermatitis. Thank you Angela. I'll make sure that's covered. OK, now. Who wrote this, hysterical one? Anal fissures?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's a real thing.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, but no one here has it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Someone has it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Do you think we should go ?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't know, Kevin. This is important. I don't want... [spots Michael through the blinds] There he is.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What is he doing?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't know.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, what? You could be referring to anything.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>OK, the health care plan.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why did you put Dwight in charge of that? He did a horrible job.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, Dwight? Did you raise benefits?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I most certainly did not.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh come on! That's horrible! Aaah... Thanks, Dwight, for a crappy plan. Ah, Damn! Oh, mmm, I wish I had time to change it, but Jan needs it by five, and... what time is it, what time is it? [looks at watch] Ah, it's after five. Oh, oh it's awful. So, well, OK. See you guys on Monday.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What about the surprise?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh... Yes. Exactly. Thank you Angela, for reminding me. Terrific. Um, before I tell everybody what the big surprise is, would you like to tell me what you think the big surprise is?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We all think you don't have a surprise.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right, I have some news for you. There is a big surprise. And... here it is. Here we go. And the big surprise is... Brrrrrrrr! Drum roll... Brrrrrrrr! Brrrrrrrr!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>When I am backed into a corner, that is when I come alive. See I learned improve from the greats, like, um, Drew Carey and Ryan Stiles.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[clapping hands] God, yeah... Ah! This...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Robin Williams. Oh, man, would I love to go head-to-head with him. Oh! That would be exciting. [as Robin Williams] "Hi. I'm Mork from Ork." Well, I'm Bork from Spork. Nanoo, nanoo. Jibelee, baloobaloo.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, um... Jan wants you to call her.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="1">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[heated discussion in the 'Dwight Schrute Workspace', door opens] I did not dismiss you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, you have no right to ask those questions.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You came into my office voluntarily.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Because I don't want my benefits slashed.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, maybe they won't get slashed if you answer all my questions.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm reporting you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="2">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know when ever a worker is promoted above their peers there's always going to be a little bit of jealousy. Uh, it's natural. And that's going to lead to goofing off and that's okay that's fine. As long as they are willing to suffer the consequences.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="3">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael I need to talk to you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sorry, too busy can't even come to the door.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[opens door] Michael.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, no... [hurries to get up from chair]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Michael, Michael I... [blinds rustle] ... inside.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know what. I, um, I'm out the door. I'm going to a meeting. Pam, I'm headed out to another meeting. So see you later. Uh, here we go.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="4">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We stole Dwight's trashcan and she found some of his early attempts at his sign.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, here's uh, this is very simple. "Dwight's Workspace," nice.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Mmm hmm.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Um, this one interesting the power comes from the font in this one. "Schrute Space," very medieval, very England. Um, this one's forceful, this one's very Dwight. "Quiet! Dwight Schrute Working," it's good.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Mmm hmm.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I really heard him on that. This one's interesting I'm not really sure what he meant by this. Um, "Dwight Schrute Privates." Tough to say.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="5">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, you know what, Dwight. What if you got a really serious disease like Ebola.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Psssh, no.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, it could happen. Have you ever seen the movie Outbreak?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah. Well, have you ever seen the movie Unbreakable? 'Cause that guy couldn't get sick, just like me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. Have you ever seen the movie Sixth Sense? Maybe you are already dead.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Unlikely.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="6">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You promise these are confidential?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>100%.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Did you just mark on that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't think so, no.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You made a "P."</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wrong. [walks away] Thank you Jim. Kevin. Stanley. [whispering] Pam, Jim, Kevin, Stanley. Pam, Jim, Kevin, Stanley. You finished?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, yeah. Here's the rest of them.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That was... unauthorized.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="7">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, it is time to call in a little favor. A buddy of mine runs this tourist attraction, actually it's big. It's probably one of the most popular in the state. So...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hello.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on his cell phone] Hey, hey Craigers, my man! It is Michael Scott here. [silence] Dunder Mifflin, we supply your office paper.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, I think we already did our order this month.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, no, no, no. No, actually to ask you a little favoroonie my friend. Um, here's the deal. Um, trying to give the troops here a little bit of a boost. And I was thinking that maybe we could bring them down to go on your big ride.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You mean the elevator that takes you down into the mineshaft? It's not really a ride.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, it says here that it's a 300ft drop.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, it goes 300 feet into the earth, but it moves really slowly.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So it's not a free fall?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's an industrial coal elevator.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, okay. So um, once you get down into the mine, what do you do? Is it like, uh... Do you have laser tag down there or something?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, you just look around. It's a historically preserved coal mine.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's it?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, there's the adjacent Anthracite Heritage Museum. They got some really interesting old mining tools. There's also a photo mural exhibit. Uh, bat guano sculpture. [Michael hangs up cell phone]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man on Phone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man-on-phone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, he's a small client. They don't really buy much.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="8">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why do you want health care, Pam? Hmm? Why do you want it?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>In case I get sick.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why don't you just go ahead and use Roy's health care plan, huh?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Because we're not married.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>But you're engaged. Aren't you and maybe you've set a date for the wedding, hmm? And because you know you're going to get married you don't have to take our health care plan seriously.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We haven't set a date. [Dwight laughs]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You really expect me to believe you haven't set a date? I think you have. Sure Pam, sure. But you know what, you've been engaged for three years and I know you've set a date. And you know what else, I know you've got coverage under Roy and I know that you wrote down those fake diseases. Admit it. Admit it, Pam.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Shut up, Dwight.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You wrote down... I didn't give you permission to.. I didn't...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm not talking to you anymore.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, I uh, I have something to confess.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You're doing the right thing. Go ahead. What 's your confession?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Um...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Let it out.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You're a jackass.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. You wanna do this the hard way. We'll do this the hard way. You wrote down those fake diseases didn't you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No. Was that the hard way?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I know you did.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, then why are you wasting everybody else's time interrogating them?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, because I want to know who wrote those diseases down.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Right.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You want you to take this pen and this piece of paper and write this down. Write this down.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I, Jim Halpert...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wait, slow down.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>...confess to health care fraud.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>One second 'cause that sounds really good. Is jackass one word or two? [Dwight sighs] One, right? 'Cause, 'cause of the show, it's one.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>One word.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="9">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I've really learned from the greats. The great improvisers, Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles, uh, the Brady guy not so much. He's more the signing, Wayne Brady. Um, Robin Williams. Oh, man, would I love to go head-to-head with him. Oh! That would be exciting. [as Robin Williams] "Hi. I'm Mork from Ork." Well, I'm Bork from Spork. Nanoo, nanoo. Jibelee, baloobaloo. [as Robin Williams] "That's Good morning, Vietnam!" Well, hello to you. You know it would be... God. And you know what, sometimes when I'm watching somebody like um, like Jay Leno. He'll be half way through his step [snaps his fingers] And I will already be laughing at the punch line. He hasn't even gotten to it. He doesn't even know what it is it. So it's fun, you know it's fun having a mind that works like that. That is just a few steps ahead of... comedically ahead of like what's going on. Like I'll watch T.V. and I'll be watching a show and I will think, oh, I know someone's gonna walk in here right now and say something funny. And then they do. Or, um, I know they'll be like oh boy that person deserved to be slammed down. There's going to be some sort of insult. And there is. You know, there's like, "Oh you're... God your butt is fat." And I knew it. I know it's like I knew they were going to say that. I knew they were gonna go there. Don't go there. Um, but other... You know it's like uh, you know Leno, um and Letterman, Carson, you know. Need I say more? No.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene deleted="true" deleted_scene="10">
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, um... Jan wants you to call her.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We're all going bowling!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
</SceneList>
|