mirror of
https://github.com/Xevion/the-office.git
synced 2025-12-15 12:13:32 -06:00
2401 lines
94 KiB
XML
Vendored
2401 lines
94 KiB
XML
Vendored
<SceneList>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Today is the test launch day for the inaugural Sabre store. Brr brr brr BRR [imitating trumpet] and I, Dwight Schrute, am in charge of the entire operation. If I can prove myself today and the store is a hit with the media and Nellie sees this, the vice presidency is mine.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Are you holding this chair?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>'cause I feel like I'm gonna fall off.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yes. Yes.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I'm not wearing the right shoes for this.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>We went over this, ok? Your tiny fingers make the best knots.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey Strangers. So stoked for the Sabre store opening.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">erin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, my name's Tabitha. I'm camped out in front of the Sabre store so I can be first in line for the new Pyramid. Psst. It's me Erin. Dwight had me pretend to be a hipster to create hype, and it's working. There's already people camped out behind me.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">erin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Test launch day, people. Now, I would like to fill you in on a little secret about me to inspire you today. Now, I know you probably all think I'm this patrician goddess. But here's the truth. I was born in the little working class town of Basildon, and until the age of 32, [cockney accent] I talked like this, which was bloody horrendous, innit? I came from dirt, no lower than ... what's lower than dirt?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Loam, magma, mantle, outer core, inner core.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah, thank you. Loam. Bloody loam, I came from. I hit rock bottom when I auditioned for the Spice Girls. I didn't even get a callback.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Which Spice Girl?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>The black one. I never stood a chance.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Now, think about my journey here today, and let it inspire your journey.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Okay. Nellie, thank you. Thank you so much.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yep</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Todd Packer</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">todd-packer</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Today is press day and press is gonna make or break this store. And for a tech company, press can only mean one thing - bloggers. Dossier on bloggers. Bloggers are gross. Bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You're gonna love 'em. Ryan is going to be the main event today. He is the pitchman who is going to give the feisty yet profound speech worthy of a world's fair. Ryan, you ready to do this?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>When people see this presentation, they're gonna [bleep] in their pants.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Come on, man.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Seriously disgusting.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Cathy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="recurring">cathy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Cathy, you will be the hot girl who talks to bloggers.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Ugh. Kill me. That was my idea.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Cathy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="recurring">cathy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Packer, you will be the sexual predator who has come to prey on the trendy teenage girls who are obsessed with the Pyramid.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Uh...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Todd Packer</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">todd-packer</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Uh... that is excellent.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I don't see what that gets us, but I'm a team player.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Todd Packer</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">todd-packer</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Perfect casting, right?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Schrute's out to get me. But I'm playing the long game. As soon as he messes up, I swoop in like a sexual predator.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Todd Packer</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">todd-packer</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I want to create a sense of wonder and enthusiasm as if, at the end of E.T., candy poured out of the screen. Do you understand? I wanna get goose pimples.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Speaking of pimples, let's release the BLOGGERS!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Morning, everyone.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oh, Andy, guess what happened to me this morning?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Don't care. Tell me later.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Listen, it's important. You've gotta hear this.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>What do you got?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oh, my god!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Do you have a black eye?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yes, I do. Phyllis.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I woke up at 4 am by accident in time for the paper to be delivered. Guess what?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>It's not a kid on a bike. It's a man in a car.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Andy, who punched you?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, I was on the can. What's this about a black guy in the office?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Black eye, Meredith.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Will someone please explain what's going on here? Since the interesting thing happened til now, so much time has passed, it's like my life is buffering.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Here's what happened. Pam and I were arriving for the day. And there was a gang in the parking lot on bikes, on, on motorcycles. And they were just hassling Pam...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>That's true.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>They had, uh... weapons.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Weapons.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I just stepped in to talk some sense into them.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>But these were not the kind of people who use their words.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Punches were going, and I ducked a few, landed a couple, and I was fighting them off. It was totally, like, like, senseless crime.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thank goodness he was there.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Good job Andy.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah [all murmuring]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I didn't do anything any of you wouldn't have done.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Open the gates! There's plenty for everyone. No need to panic. There's plenty for everyone!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Quit it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Man</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">man</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>There's plenty. Don't stampede. No need to stampede, sir.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I was ahead of you!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, okay. Hey, hey. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. There's plenty of Pyramids.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Come on. I was in line before you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So you're a blogger right?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Cathy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="recurring">cathy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah. Blogger.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Blogger</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">blogger</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>God, stay away. Oh, I always get in trouble around bloggers. I'm trying to be a good girl for once.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Cathy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="recurring">cathy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh yeah. I already bought my Pyramid, but I don't want to leave yet. I haven't had so much fun since seeing... zoo-Ey Desh-channel at the Couch-arilla music festival. So fun.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>How can we feel safe knowing that there are gangs here? We should call the police right now!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, no, no, no, no, we don't need to call the police. They'll just ask everybody questions, get up in everyone's business, right, Pam?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Police are a hassle. We settled this on the street.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>And my eye will heal. But if the police come, then we will forever stain our neighborhood as a troubled area.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why would you care what the police think of our neighborhood?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Because I have neighborhood Pride. 1-8-5-0-5.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>1-8-5-0-5.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Guys, guys. That's so vague. You gotta do the zip plus four. 1-8-5-0-5 dash 7-4-2-7.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Look, I don't feel safe. I think we should call the police.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Exactly. We need to feel safe, which is why... Toby is giving us self defense training.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Me?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Right Toby? Will you teach us self defense?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, um... I can't believe you remembered. I do self-defense. Um, I'll go put on my cup.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Great.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Blogger</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">blogger</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I wasn't really sure which one of you is Chuck.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on phone] Yeah, no, it seems to be going great. Andy got beat up by a fifth grade girl?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Look at that guy. He's got his Sabre phone on, and he's not even using it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Blogger</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">blogger</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>This is a perfect photo for my Daily Fail blog.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Blogger #2</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">blogger</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, I - I gotta go. Okay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, what is a fail? That sounds bad.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, no, no, no. It's good. It's really -- on the Internet, it's a really -- that's a really good, good, thing.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Are you trying to sabotage this entire event?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm very sorry.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We gave you an Arrowhead for free for the day. How hard would it have been to do this, hmmm? "Hello. Hi sweetie. It's Jim. I'm calling you from the new Arrowhead, which is why my voice is crystal clear. And my hand will never get tired because of the ergonomic shape."</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm really sorry. Is there anything I can do, maybe pretend to be Chuck?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You could have pretended to be Chuck. I begged you to pretend to be Chuck, but you chose to be yourself, and you can no longer be Chuck! Surrender the tripack. You know what you have to do.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Point it towards the store, idiot!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[laughs] You know what I mean? One of these buttons is -- damn it. Take over.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh hey, Hey, hey, you guys, you must be lost. Listen. Excuse me, sir. Yeah, the fountain where you can feed the pigeons is out behind the bank. Tell your great-grandson to bring his kid by. Okay. So long. Here we go. Erin! Psst! Come on! The elderly suck the life out of the young. Get them out of here!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We are closed! Come on.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Self-defense is not some fun boxing match, okay? This is about escaping with your life. So... strike, scream, and run. All right? Let's try it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[smacks Meredith's head] [screams] [runs out]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ow.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That may have been my fault.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What the hell, Toby?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, look, in a real crisis situation, you're not gonna have to time to think, okay? So just remember, I-A-A-T-G. "It's all about the groin."</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What if you're being attacked by a ... smallish man who happens to not have a groin?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't think that's very common.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What if you're being attacked by a 4'11" man who is penisless?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why are you fixated on this hypothetical transgendered attacker?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why don't we start with the basics? Show us how to defend ourselves against a baby, and then like, a fifth grade girl, and then, you know, if we have time, on up to a scary man.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, the most common scenario is a larger man attacking a smaller female.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So in that scenario, what if the victim sucker-punches the attacker in the face? What can the attacker then do to better protect himself?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's interesting that you're drawn to the point of view of the attacker. You would like the turn of the table. Okay, the latest Chad Flenderman novel... [everyone groans] written from the point of view of his nemesis, Dr. Lucifer Wu.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Can I please leave? I have a rape flute.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right, well, let's try one simple technique together. Okay, why doesn't everyone stand? Okay, so... you're being attacked. You've got your hands up. Simple palm strike to the chin. Up to the chin. One, two.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>One, two.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Everyone</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="meta">everyone</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[softly] Take that, kid.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Cathy, I would like to introduce you to Fatty Gruesome. He is a freelancer for Wired magazine.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Patty Grossman. I'm a woman.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lady Blogger</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">lady-blogger</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>But you still work for Wired, right?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Patty</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">patty</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Good! Okay. Flirt away.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sabre. It's time to come home.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think ...it seemed like you were a little nervous.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, no [bleep], Sherlock! Can somebody please tell me something encouraging about this presentation before I go out there in front of a million people and do it?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. I know, I know, champ. Calm down, just listen.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know what?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You just need to realize that so much rides on this. You have no idea.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm trying to make him feel important.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>God. I wish Kelly were here. She always knew what to say.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Um... [imitating Kelly] Oh, Ryan, you're so smart. You're smarter than Mark Zuckerberg and those Google guys all combined. Hee hee hee.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You're so ignorant. You barely know what you're talking about. That is so ridiculous. You really need to read a couple books.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What's a book? [giggles]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>On my God. You're so embarrassing. My mom would say the best stuff, though.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[ahem] You can... [slightly effeminate] You can do it Ryan.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>And you know that I'm capable of this.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You're the only one who can do it, s-sweetie.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What did you think of the presentation?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I thought it was great, sweetie. I would just fix that one --</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh! "Fix" means you hate it! I knew it! I need something to drink!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jim, get him a water.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, not a water. A sports drink. I hate everything in that fridge. Not red! Get me something yellow or green from a nearby store. Not red!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why are you just standing there? Go to a nearby store and get him a yellow or green sports drink!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Now, if your attacker is willing to defile a corpse, you better stop playing dead right away and just make it known that you're alive.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Forgive me for interrupting. I believe my daughter had an altercation with somebody here, some fancy gentleman with a squeaky voice?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[deep voice] I think you guys might have the wrong Office.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's him... the guy I hit.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Girl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">girl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You've gotta be kidding me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Poor Andy! First you got beat up by a gang, and now she kicks your ass?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, Kevin -- [sighs]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What about the lady you hit with the pine cone?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>There. That chubby one.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Girl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">girl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I just had a baby.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yesterday?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Girl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">girl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wow.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Apologize.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sorry I kicked your ass in front of your "thin" girlfriend.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Girl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">girl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>How 'bout we wait til next year after you have your kid?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know what? Tiffy's going to college.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[deep voice] Listen, I don't know what you guys are talking about, but I guess I'll just accept your apology so we can get on with our day.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>God bless. Friend of mine uses your paper. You do good work. Bye bye.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Bye.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>So, Toby, I think we should do a different self-defense seminar -- "How to protect ourselves against tiny little girls."</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>There's no shame in getting beaten up by a girl. My ex-wife used to demolish me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, there is shame in it, okay? We have to draw the line somewhere.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh my God, I think I see the imprint of a ring pop.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh... [Kelly laughing]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Have you seen Erin?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm on break.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh God... Hey no! Where do you think you're going? You've gotta stay for the big presentation we've got this young wiz kid -- Ryan. He's like an even more handsome Bill Gates.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>When's the presentation?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Blogger</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">blogger</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's moments away. Just stay here!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on phone] Hey Uncle Lucas, it's your nephew Ryan. Honestly, I could use a prescription for ritalin right now. Well, I know you did one for Aunt Carol. Oh, so it's different because it's your wife? Well, that doesn't make any sense to me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>How you doing?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Don't talk to me right now. I'm sorry. I- I know you're my boss, but seriously, you need to get the hell out of my face. What I don't understand is... [voice fades]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[to Dwight] Your little man is unraveling. Now go and fix it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Sorry about kicking you out. It's just, we don't want our brand associated with death.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's okay. I'll go to the Costco and search for handsome men.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Old Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">old-lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You're not married yet?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[laughs] Oh, I was. My husband was my best friend. He passed away.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Old Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">old-lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>My best friend was my boss, Andy. We dated for a while, but since then, he rejected me, and we're not really friends.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Someone rejected you? With that body and those bazongas? Forget him!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Old Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">old-lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah! Forget him! And you should forget your husband.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Old Lady</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">old-lady</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>How long has he been in the bathroom?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>About ten minutes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jeez! What's he doing in there? [cell phone vibrates]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oops, that's my phone. Am I allowed to answer it or are you gonna freak out?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Are there any bloggers around?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's Ryan. "I'm sorry. I lied. I'm not in the bathroom. I can't do it. I need to see my mom. I'm going home."</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What is the delay here? Where's Ryan? Why is he not here?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I had to send him home. As brilliant and creative as he is, he is nothing... compared to this guy!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's right. Will you just give us a second?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You are gonna bloody ruin it. You're gonna bloody ruin it because you're a no-good half-assed cock-eyed...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>okay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>That's....</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jim --</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm not doing the Presentation.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Look at me. Look at me! Look... at... this... face. This is not the face of a performer. This is the face of a scary apparition you see before you die. I'm telling you... if you don't do this, [whispers] I don't stand a chance. Please, Jim.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, I'll do it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, my God. O... Kay! Go get into Ryan's costume and check out his notes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>A costume?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Of course there's a costume! [laughs] Oh, this is gonna be great. There's nothing like some last-minutes changes to really energize a presentation.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Did you pass out in there? What is taking so long?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I've been in here for 20 seconds.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hurry up. Let me in. I wanna watch you get dressed. Did you find the eyeliner?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm not wearing eyeliner.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You are wearing eyeliner, Jim.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[Coldplay's Clocks]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">None</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="meta">none</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Time. Space. Gender. [Dwight mouthing words] There are no rules anymore. All boundaries are breaking down in the wake of the infinite future. The only thing that -- the only thing that remain -- the only thing that remains are the things that have stood the test of time -- love, values, and of course, the pyramids -- the strongest shape ever constructed, a shape that fits all other shapes inside of it. [softly] No, that's --</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's true.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>This... is the future, because... This is the past. I've been through a lot of issues in my life. I've seen drug addiction -- unemployment. I've been in a relationship that tore my heart apart, without ever being able to accept that love drove the pain. [scattered applause]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yep.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>When I was ten years old, my parents took me to Disney world. I cried the whole time. I was not able to comprehend the beauty that was before me. I just wanted... to go home. This is what the Pyramid will do for you. It is the bridge to the world. It has a usb port. Wireless... will be available in 2013. You can play Anything from Chuck to Cars 2. With the Pyramid, you have the connection to everything -- in time... and space.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>ahhhhhh</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Crowd</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="meta">crowd</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Psst.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[image on Pyramid] Sabre... It's time... to come home.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[applause]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Crowd</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="meta">crowd</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>All right. Thank you so much. Wow. Wow! And good night! [applause continues]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, this isn't over. Let's stay focused, okay? We made fun of Andy earlier for getting beat up by a little girl, but... little things can be dangerous.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Whether it's a gremlin or chucky the doll. The key is to throw it in something. Like a fireplace, or a tub of electricity.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. Good point...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Good point? What is a tub of electricity?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't... I don't...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>With all due respect we know what we're defending against: a twelve year old female bully.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I was a twelve year old bully.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Great! I think Kelly should attack Toby.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Others</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="meta">others</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah, that's not a bad idea, actually, because I have had a lot of pent up aggression.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thanks.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Good. Let's go.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't know if this is gonna help...Uh...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Let's go Kelly.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We should stay to maybe some more traditional models...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You think you're so pretty! Well you're not gonna be so pretty come Prom time!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, this is what's called pre-violent posturing.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Take that! Not so pre-violent anymore!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, I'm at what's called "the decision point."</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, hey, hey. Kelly Kelly, Kelly... come on.... Ow! God! My good eye!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[laughs] Oh boy. Oh no, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at, um, something that Cece did on the playground earlier -- yesterday. This morning.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You know why I got hit by girls? Because I stood up for others. Pam and for Toby. I stepped in and I didn't care that I was standing up to girls. You may wanna ask yourselves, "Where were you when the girls came?"</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Tough day. Yes. But I feel good. I put the office in their place, took a bunch of pain killers, drank a half a bottle of wine, took my pants off. I just feel good!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, okay, I will be the first to admit it. We could have integrated more Chuck into the Presentation.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight. You're the vice president.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ha, ha, ha, ha! Yeah!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[squealing]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay! Come on!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>aagh!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Nellie</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">nellie</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hah! Yah! [kicking and punching the air] Boom!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
</SceneList>
|