mirror of
https://github.com/Xevion/the-office.git
synced 2025-12-15 08:13:29 -06:00
2381 lines
93 KiB
XML
Vendored
2381 lines
93 KiB
XML
Vendored
<SceneList>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>We could get Deangelo flowers.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No, you can't get flowers for someone who's in a coma. They'll wilt before he wakes up.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>That's true.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>All in favor of the baskets full of chocolates, teddy bears, and balloons? [all but Dwight raise their hands]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Wait, wait. All in favor of the knapsack filled with canned goods, chainsaw, gasoline, and emergency radio in case he wakes up post-apocalypse? [Dwight raises his hand]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Nope. Baskets have it.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>So as it turns out, unless you're a young child or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you. People just come in and do their work on their schedule. Imagine that - people like us allowed to sell paper. Unsupervised. [Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, and Oscar are working while Andy and Ryan play on a foosball table] And yet, somehow it works. It must be because the stakes are so high.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[on phone] Well, I really appreciate the offer, but I'm just happy the way things are. Okay. Thank you. [to Pam] That was Jo, asking me if I wanted to take over as acting manager while they find a replacement. I told her... I don't want to mess this up, right? There's a consensus, people are happy.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[on phone] Dwight Schrute. Yes, I would. Thank you. [hangs up] Jordan, gather my things from my desk. [Dwight walks to the manager's office, rubs the door frame, sits at the desk reverently]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Wait...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>What have you done?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Mose... you'll never guess where I am right now.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Aaaaahhhhh!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Mose</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="recurring">mose</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Can't stay there all day.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I'm coming.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Do I at least get to go with you in this fantasy?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You'd slow me down.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Dwight has been acting manager for three months now. No. A week. Just feels like three months. Let's see, we all have to punch in to a time clock, which is very old, very strong, and has a slot about the size of a finger. [Jim puts a pencil into the time clock and pulls it out broken in half] We were all given new business cards big enough to set us apart from the competition, which is how I learned that our titles are all now Junior Employee. Our lunch breaks are staggered to prevent wasting time. Mine's at 10:30, and I find that the first hour of the day goes by a lot quicker than the second seven hours.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Stop stalling! Come on.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">pam</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">All</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="meta">all</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>...under God...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">All but Oscar</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="meta">all-but-oscar</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>...indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. [Kevin finishes behind the rest of the group]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">All</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="meta">all</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Amen.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">angela</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Excellent. Morning announcements! There's been a problem with some people sharing copier codes. Your copier code is a distinct 21-digit number that is unique to you, and you only, okay? Don't share it. [Kevin looks exasperated] Jo Bennett, our CEO, will be here today for a high-level meeting involving Gabe and myself.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Ooh, about what?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">erin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>That's on a need-to-know basis.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I thought I needed to know for your calendar.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">erin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[quietly] General meet-and-greet. So I expect you to be on your best behavior, which means none of you will be insubordinate, nor will you foment insurrection.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Question, if we already fomented insurrection, may we be grandfathered in?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Define foment.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>You define foment.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">jim</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[clears throat] Please take note of the new color-coding system.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[surprising Kelly] Aha!</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oh my God, what is wrong with you?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Gotcha! Why are you late?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>It's none of your business, actually. It's very medical and personal.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>All right. You stop me when I reach the diseased area. [Dwight points to her legs and slowly moves his finger up, stopping at her mid-section]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>In fairness, Darryl did tell me that joke, so...</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Oh! Darryl's funny.</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">erin</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>I know, right?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Hey, Andy?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Can I talk to you a second about these client memos?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Sure. What's going on? [in room with Gabe]</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Are you still in love with Erin?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
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<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
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<Characters>
|
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<Character type="main">andy</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Because I am. I need to get her back. [crying] I can't be alone anymore. Andy, do you like being alone with me right now?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No, this is horrifying.</QuoteText>
|
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
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<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
|
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>No. I don't like being alone with me either, okay? I have to get her back. Are you still gonna date her?</QuoteText>
|
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
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</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>We're just friends, okay?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Do you promise that?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
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<Characters>
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|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
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</Characters>
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>Yeah, fine, I promise. We'll never date again. Can we go outside now?</QuoteText>
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<Speaker>
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|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
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</Characters>
|
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</Speaker>
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</Quote>
|
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<Quote>
|
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<QuoteText>No, just give me a second. I don't want anyone to know I've been crying.</QuoteText>
|
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<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
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|
</Speaker>
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|
</Quote>
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|
</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<QuoteText>[seeing the Join the Fist flyers that Jim is hanging] Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing? What's this? What's the Fist?</QuoteText>
|
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<Speaker>
|
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<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, it's just a social club. You know, like the French Revolution, or the Black Panthers, or communism. It's just a club. Guys talking, you know.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You expect me to believe that you're starting a rebellion?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nope. Social club. God, I hate when everybody calls us a rebellion. [Darryl enters and brandishes his fist, Jim returns the gesture]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, you know what? I would love to join The Fist.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>And we would love to have you. But not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day, what with Operation Overthrow and everything, but I have noted it. [Dwight tears the sign down, Jim hangs two signs in its place]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[inputting numbers into the copier and holding up the line] One...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[refills his coffee near a sign that reads "Honor System:</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Pam, I have to show you this video. You're gonna love it. It's Beyonce falling with a fart mixed in. [buzzer to indicate a blocked web site]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I will never be happier than I am right now. I will also never be less happy. I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life. Because I am manager of the Scranton Branch of Dunder Mifflin. Acting Manager.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[looking at empty vending machine] No food now? Someone has to do something about Dwight!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>He put some snacks in the freezer for us.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You mean the frozen mice for the piranha?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No. The blueberry Slurpee pouch.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>He means the ice pack.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on phone] 2:00 should probably be okay. I can either take your number or - [Gabe ends the call]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm sorry. This can't wait.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>He's just gonna call back.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Erin, I am in love with you. I don't believe in much, okay? I don't believe in horoscopes. I don't believe in Christmas. Uh, uh, I sure as hell don't believe in God. [Erin and Angela both look taken aback]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[quietly] What?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Or maybe there's a God. I don't know. I mean, it's just not a guy with a long white beard. [Erin looks shocked] Or it could be. I mean, it's possible that that is exactly what - what God is. But for all of the disbelief [phone rings] I believe in us. I believe in love. You have made me believe that for all of the hokum [phone continues ringing] out... there... uh, do we not have voicemail?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight doesn't trust robots to give us our messages.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well... it's just... [ringing] it messes up my rhythm.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm taking a break from dating. Gabe was a great guy with so many wonderful qualities, but it was a challenge being touched by him.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Wow, you've really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Ah, Jim, Jim, Jim. The gun is a Beaumont-Adams. Jo collects them. I thought we could have some nice small talk about it. And the piranha's a rescue.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>And the desk.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>The desk is a replica of Uday Hussein's desk. I saw a picture in Newsweek. Listen, I'm a very busy man. Let's get right down to business.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jo is coming later today. I cannot have a subordinate trying to make me look stupid. Okay? I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I promise...d other people that I would be on my worst behavior. And I gave them my word, so...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Don't make me fire you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You can't fire me. You're acting manager. Not office manager. So you have no firing powers.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Don't make me pre-fire you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You wouldn't dare.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Watch this. You're pre-fired. And when I'm promoted, you'll be full fired.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[quietly] If you get promoted, and if you haven't fallen in love with me by then.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>If I had thought that there was a real chance that Dwight would be permanent manager, I would have pre-quit. And you might be saying to yourself, "Well that's pretty premature to think," but I always say, it's better to be pre-pre-preprepared.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>How you doing, Jordan?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm good.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jordan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">jordan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Everyone here thinks that you're a joke. They think that you were hired because of your good looks, which won't last long anyway. As your pale skin and severe bone structure imply, you'll age swiftly and poorly.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why are you telling me this?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jordan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="background">jordan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Now I want you to find out what people are saying about me, things they don't want me to know abou-[Dwight opens a box and sits down in shock] Ohh... it's a holster.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[walking around the office with the holster around his waist] Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Lookin' good. [grunts] Ohh... [stretching out his arms to better indicate the gun and holster] Oh, what a day. What a day.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, are you carrying a gun?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>The holster was a gift from my great-uncle Honk. Um, I don't know. I guess he's saying that he's proud of me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, guns make me really uncomfortable.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>The gun is just an accessory to the holster, okay? I can't walk around wearing an empty holster.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why do you need to wear the holster at all?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why do you need to keep wearing those booby shirts all the time?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thank you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You could put your cell phone in it instead.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh... hello! [indicates his phone clipped onto his belt]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You could put a banana in it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Why would I put a banana in my holster?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>In case you weren't hungry now, but you got hungry later.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, no gun, okay? Don't make us call Jo.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. All right. Fine. Everyone calm down. Someone get me a banana. Sorry I freaked you guys out - aah! [Dwight goes to flip the gun and it fires near Andy's ear, making everyone jump]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Andy!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Aah! Aah! It's so loud!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>My God. There is a hardwood floor underneath this carpeting. Why would they do that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[trying to find a pitch] Eeeeeeee... There's like this crazy ringing going on. I can't - eeeeeee... I can't find perfect C.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, everyone make a list of what's lost for the insurance. I lost a necklace, a ring, a painting-</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, what happened?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight went on a shooting spree, and then he shot Andy in the head.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, no, no. All we know is that a gun fired. That's all we know! No. That's not true. Actually, we heard a loud noise. Later, a hole was seen. No one saw the bullet leave the gun.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[scatting off-key] Something's definitely wrong.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'll look on WebMD. What are your symptoms?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, everybody. Oscar found a reason to look on WebMD.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[buzzer to indicate a blocked site] Firewall.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I can't reach Jo. She must already be on the plane.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, why are you calling Jo?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I think I should go the hospital.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'll go with you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No! We really shouldn't be without a receptionist. Now more than ever.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'll take him.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thank you, Darryl. [Andy limps out of his chair and leans on Darryl for support]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What's wrong with you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It's my ear.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, sorry.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[excitedly] Oh, I should get the accident report binder. I've never used the gun violence forms before.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm gonna keep trying Jo.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, everyone! Conference room, right now!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[enters with a cowboy hat, speaking with a Western accent] Yee-haw! Whoo-hoo! [imitates gunfire] Howdy, partners! It's me, Gun-Safety Dwight! And I'm the rootin'-est- [removes hat] I can't do this. Um, look. Obviously, a gun went off under my watch, and I'm launching a full investigation.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We all saw you do it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Really? You did? What hand was I holding the gun in? What did Andy's tie look like?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Navy blue. Little red anchors.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I have no way of knowing if that's true.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I am supposed to collect eyewitness accounts. Who saw Dwight do this? [all raise their hands]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, really?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Would you consider this a terrorist incident?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I felt terrorized.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Come on.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, there's a whole 'nother terrorism booklet for that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I just really, really think we should handle this internally.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, why is it on us to protect you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Ryan</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">ryan</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Because you guys are my best friends, and I mean that. Managing you for this last week has been the greatest honor of my life. And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground. And I mean that figuratively. Not literally. Because you guys are so... so important... to me. I love you guys. But don't cross me. But you're the best.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey. [Erin gasps] We're back.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>There he is! Our hero! [Both Dwight and Erin move to hug Andy] You look fantastic. How you doing? Here, tell us your war stories.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, I burst my eardrum. Doctor said it could take weeks to heal.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Did they say what caused it? Because I know you like putting Q-tips deep into your ear canal.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yeah.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>How's your hearing?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Temporary deafness in one ear. It was both ears. I couldn't hear a thing Darryl was saying while we were in the waiting room.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I was talking like this. [mouths words while pointing to his ear] I don't feel good about it, but he just kept calling himself a gunshot victim and it got to me.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight, I would like tomorrow off so that I can go on my American Idol audition.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>American Idol? What? No.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. I guess I can just not go. Do you guys wanna hear my solo?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[singing] Why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, fine. You can go on your singing audition.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, well, then I want an extra vacation day.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Pet Day! I want Pet Day back - no dogs.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Put back everything in the vending machine except the fruit.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I put everything back in the vending machine.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Put everything back in the vending machine except... the fruit.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You have to get rid of all your weapons. All of them. Including killer fish.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, is it my turn? Ooh, I'm on the spot. I don't know. Um... you know what? I think I'm good.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thank God.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nope. When Jo's here, can you work in "Shagadelic, baby," at least three times in a conversation? Oh, and when I cough can you do jazz hands?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What's jazz hands?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[quickly shakes his hands back and forth]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Fine.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[leaves the men's room with an empty fish tank after flushing the toilet]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[after entering the men's room] What the [bleep] is that? [runs out of the bathroom] Oh, my...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, all! Cornelius, Bobo, have at it. Nobody let my dogs hump each other. They don't seem to know they're brothers.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hello, Jo. Welcome. Well, shall we begin?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Slow yourself down there. Just like a man. Wants to jump right into it while I still got my socks on. Jim Halpert - the only man that ever turned me down.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, I don't know about that. Just wasn't for me. But let me assure you, Dwight is firing on all cylinders. Right?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, some pretty big shoes to fill. I was sorry to hear about Deangelo. He was a good man. Tragic. [Jim coughs]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[does jazz hands, Jo notices and eyes him oddly] Well, what can you do? Life.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>We have to clean this up now!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>She had so much -</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, guys.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Erin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">erin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hope I'm not interrupting anything.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No! [Erin and Andy laugh]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, Andy, did you tell Erin about our conversation earlier when you said you would never want to date her again?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I just thought that it was so interesting that you promised that.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Did I say that earlier? Yes, I did. Because you, Gabe, were crying...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, I was not.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>And sobbing uncontrollably. Yes. Uh-huh. You were in hysterics. And my maternal instincts kicked in. Is it actually how I feel? Yes. Or no. That is... between me and my diary.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oscar, can you print out last year's sale statements?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, Dwight, gimme a back massage.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, Kevin, come on.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>My back is sore, Dwight. Massage it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Kevin, not now.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, Jo!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, okay. Shh! [Dwight begins rubbing his shoulders]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, under the jacket.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You're kidding me. [reaches under Kevin's jacket] Oh God, what am I touching? It's moist.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I don't feel anything.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, it's so wet.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Push harder, Dwight.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I can't. I can't push harder!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Go a little higher. There you go. Nope, higher. Higher. [Dwight has positioned his feet on the filing cabinet behind Kevin and is kneading his back horizontally]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay, how's that?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Knead it. Knead it like a pizza.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I'm kneading it!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Don't eat it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Dwight! Walk me out. Let's talk soon. And stay on top of these people. You gotta admit it - it's nice to have a little power, eh? How's it feel?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Jo... I accidentally fired a gun in the office today.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>What?!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I am telling you this because I care too much about this job to be blackmailed into doing it poorly. All I've ever wanted was to be manager here. And if you feel that you cannot promote me over this one accident, I understand. But if you think that extortion is worse -</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Shooting is worse! Are you kidding me? It's not even in the same - you shot a gun? What is wrong with you?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>It was a Beaumont-Adams, if that helps.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Beaumont-Adams is a girl's gun. That just makes it plain stupid.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I take full responsibility.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Who else would be responsible?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Pam made me put a banana in my holster.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You shot a gun off -</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Okay. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Do I regret the decision that I made? Yes.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Got it.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>I love you, Dwight. But you don't fit this job.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[on the verge of tears] Jo, please... I will -</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>No, child. No. It's over. Now I gotta find a replacement for my replacement.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>You three are my search committee. You're in charge of finding me my next manager. All righty?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yep.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Gabe</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">gabe</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yep.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Till then, we need a new acting manager. Now, who's got the most experience in this office?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Uh, well, we probably don't want to go just on seniority.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Who is it?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jo</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jo</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Hey, Dwight. What's up?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Shut up.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Well, you do know that Jo was right to take the job away from you, right? There's no debating that. But, I will say... in your one week, every single one of the orders went out on time. And I think that is shagadelic, baby. [Dwight sees Creed claiming the desk in the manager's office]</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>[giving Kevin numbers for the copier] Four, one, seven, one...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Another one?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Yes!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="true">{Darryl} and {Angela}</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Seven, two...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Could you turn the volume down on the beeping?</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Six, nine, shut up, Oscar. Eight...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nine first.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Darryl</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">darryl</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nine, eight, five...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Thank you.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Three, zero, zero. Again, zero. Four, six...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Nice.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Two, one...</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>Oh, I hit three. I hit three.</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<QuoteText>God!</QuoteText>
|
|
<Speaker>
|
|
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
|
|
<Characters>
|
|
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
|
|
</Characters>
|
|
</Speaker>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
</SceneList>
|