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the-office/data/normalization/compile/4-07.xml

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<SceneList>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I really didn't think I was going to have a good time, but I did. Totally did.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I love camping. [in a singing voice] Anything can happen.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, it wasn't camping, it was more of a wilderness retreat. [Michael walks in]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Morning.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ryan invited some of the branch managers and Toby into the woods for a "get to know you" weekend. Michael wasn't invited. Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Did you sleep in cabins?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Under the stars. It was really beautiful, you should come.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Bob and I took rock climbing lessons once. [Michael laughs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael wasn't invited on Ryan's camping trip. Toby went, but Michael didn't go. He wasn't invited.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Who went?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Me, Dan from Buffalo, Mark Chisholm, Jeff from Albany and Ryan, obviously. Made so many s'mores, that I finally had to say, "No more s'mores, no more s'mores." [everyone in room but Michael laughs, Michael exits break room]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ryan invited me to go on his wilderness adventure retreat. It was this amazing, beautiful experience [Michael knocks on the window behind Toby from outside]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[from outside] Hey, nobody cares. Nobody cares. I need that room at some point, so just, wrap it up.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael wasn't invited.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hypothetically, if I were to ask you to go camping, and you know what hypothetical means? [Jim makes a face] Not real.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Got it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So if I were to hypothetically ask you to go camping with me, would you go?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Absolutely, yes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Really?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, you wanna go today?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And I am always busy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, can't go today, 'cause I'm donating blood.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How often can you actually donate blood?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Is there a limit?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Your body only has a certain amount.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, is that it? Or?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, just this whole Toby, camping thing, uh, seems a little lame.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How so?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>A bunch of guys, in a tent? Making s'mores? [makes a noise and gestures with his hands]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hello, I'm Broken Mountain. You know, here's the thing. That's not how you go camping. I think you go camping by yourself--</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>In the wilderness. It's not with a group of guys frolicking around in tents. It's one guy, or two guys, if your plans change.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not gonna change.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I wanna do it myself. You know, I want to go and, and find out something about myself, I wanna get outta here. All the cliques, and the office politics. Fluorescent lights. Asbestos.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I thought we had that looked at.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm sick of it Jim. I'm sick of this place.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>When Jan and I had satellite, we used to watch a reality show called "Survivorman." And, it was interesting because it was about a guy who would go out in the middle of no where and just try not to die, try not to get eaten by an animal, or be overexposed.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, I will only need two things. Roll of duct tape and a knife.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[winks] I'm on it. [leaves room]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. Thirty minutes or less, please come back. Save the receipts. [Dwight comes back with set of knives] Hey, what...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Let's see if any of these will work. [clears the front of Michael's desk]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, hey hey! Dwight. [Dwight rolls out an assortment knives]. Dwight.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I keep various weaponries strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had velcroed under my desk. People say, "Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the work place." Well I say, "It's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose."</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dwight and I are going out. He will return later, but I will not. I will also be taking a personal day tomorrow, and perhaps the next day.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you want me to ask where you're going?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Great.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dwight will be driving me deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Where he will then leave me to either die or to survive. The choice is yours.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hmm, no, the choice is actually yours. Are you sure you want to do this?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, and I am leaving you in charge of the office for the rest of the day and for the next several days. Do not try to follow me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, great.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is a very personal, private experience in the wild, that I wish to share it with me, myself and I.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yup.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That'd be great.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do I believe that Michael possesses the skills to survive in a hostile environment? Let's put it this way:</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>This is what a true survivor man does. You simulate a disaster, like a plane wreck. You could only wear the clothes that you have on, and you could only use the stuff you have in your pockets. Now, in this case, this disaster is a serial killer. Creepy guy who's abducted me and is taking me out into the wilderness to leave me for dead.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, I would never leave you for dead. You would never escape.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, yes I would. And I would survive.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I would make sure that you were dead.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>First, I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips so you could not be identified.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And they would call me the Overkill Killer.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You... you are as creepy as a real serial killer. For real. [blindfolds eyes with tie] OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What are you doing?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I am putting this on so I have no familiarity with my surroundings. Now this way, I can't retrace my steps. I don't know what streets we've been-- [Dwight whacks Michael with his shoe] Ow! What are you doing?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It would be better if you were unconscious.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No! Gosh! Dwight. [Dwight tries to hit Michael with his shoe again] Stop it, stop it! Stop it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you want to do this right or not?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Just, please allow me to have one cathartic experience in my life?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jim, we need to order a cake for Creed's birthday.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes. Kelly's was last week, remember?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I do remember, yeah.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's birthday month. Creed's is today. Oscar's is week after next. Meredith's is at the end of the month. [Jim exhales deeply] Michael usually goes with red and white streamers...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know what, I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big shared party?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>There are thirteen people working in this office, so thirteen times a year Michael gets a cake and balloons, and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. There are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback to Stanley's birthday] Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack! Not crack the drug.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And the other is something inappropriate. Or horrible. Or both. What else? He only sings the high harmony to "Happy Birthday." And he's a very big believer in surprise parties. Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback to Kelly's birthday, hiding in the elevator] Happy Birthday!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ahhh!! [drops the papers she was holding]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kelly</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kelly</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback to Oscar's birthday, hiding in the break room] Happy Birthday!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ahhh! [runs into door and Michael laughs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[flashback to Phyllis' birthday, sneaking up on Phyllis' car] Happy Birthday!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh! [Michael laughs]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So... I think, yeah, I think getting these out of the way might be productive.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We can just have one big fun party. Everybody's happy, nobody wastes their time.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't like it. [Angela leaves]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wow! You're shaking things up a bit, huh?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It's a pretty good idea, don't you think?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you think it's a good idea?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No... I think it's a great idea.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[smiles] Hmm.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We're here. [gets out of the car]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Dwight will take my blindfold off when we are deep in the forest. Just the two of us from this point out.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[leading Michael from car] Here we go. Just the two of us [gestures for camera crew to follow]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Here we go, into the wild. Mighty forest. Can you smell the trees and the nature?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Keep going, you're fine. Just some bushes and some thickets [leads Michael into some tall grass] Keep going. You wanted wilderness, you got it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You know, try sending them another invoice.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Ok.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Alright. [starts walking away, but returns] Oh, did you see my memo by the way?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[picks up and reads memo] "Let's be honest, as fun as birthdays are we could all use a break from the constant cake, so let's celebrate birthday month in style today." This is really cool.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Right? I was just thinking...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, totally, totally. This way we get it all out of the way at once and it could actually be fun.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Right! Exactly. [pats Oscar on the back and walks away] Knew I could count on you. [Oscar rolls his eyes]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Good a spot as any. [They stop and Dwight starts spinning Michael around in circles]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What are you doing? Stop. Dwight, Dwight. Just --</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm just --</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Stop.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Spin. I'm trying to confuse your sense of direction. [stops spinning and takes Michael's blindfold off] Behold.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Alright, good. Thank you, Dwight.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Here's your knife. Here's your duct tape.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Alright, very good. Ahh, OK. [Dwight gives Michael a hug]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Good luck, Michael.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thanks for the ride. OK. Leave me be, Dwight. [Dwight runs off]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Jim, can I have my own cake?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What's that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I really prefer devils food cake.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, sure.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. [Meredith leaves]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wow! That was easy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, people like me I guess.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[knocking from outside window in break room] Jim.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I hate devils food.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well I think Meredith was just --</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Screw Meredith, I don't think it's fair to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Everybody's birthday.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Today is actually my birthday and I want to pick the cake.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What do you want?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I want pie. I want peach pie.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You want a birthday pie?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I want a nice cobbler.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, I'm gonna to talk to Angela and we're gonna see what we can do about a pie.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't care who you talk to. Just make it happen.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>It will be Angela.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You tell her it's for Creed. She'll know what that means.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[to own camcorder] Day One. I'm in the interior of the vast Pennsylvania wilderness. I've brought with me only the bare essentials. A knife, roll of duct tape, in case I need to craft some shelter or make some sort of water vessel. It's hot today. The sun is in the two-thirds easterly quadrant, which would make it about [looks at watch] 2 o'clock in the afternoon. It's really beating down on me now. I think that I want to get a little more comfortable because the sun is depleting my resources. [cuts pants with knife] OK. OH, there we go. Watch that I don't hit my corroded artery here...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I lied to Michael. I said that I would leave him alone, but I will not. I will remain close by to provide unseen moral support, but I will never help him. I will let harm befall him. I will even let him die. But I will never let him lose his dignity.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>There we go. [standing with short sleeves and short pants] Much better. Now everything I brought with me can be used. My sport coat here, can be fashioned into a backpack of sorts [ties jacket around neck].</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm going to wear what was once one of my pant legs. [puts pant leg on head like a hat]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>See, this is a beautiful piece of material [rips other pant leg in half] This could be used for all sorts of things.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Some sort of kerchief to keep my neck nice and comfortable.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Tuna. [rolls in chair to Jim's desk]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Andy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Me likey the ice cream cake, okay? Fudgie the Whale.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Not your birthday.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, I'm just saying, you know, if you want to make people happy, namely me, you will have a Fudgie the Whale.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Alright, I'll look into it, but the answer's no.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Wow, OK, harsh. Just don't expect me to show up.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Andy, I have some calls to make.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Loud and clear. [rolls in chair back to desk]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Alright. [Andy rolls back]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Pizza rolls.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK, I'm gonna go into this office here [gets up and walks into Michael's office] to do some work. So I will be in here.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mushroom caps.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Andy</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">andy</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I am totally alone right now, with only my thoughts. I love it. I'm loving it. I can literally say anything I want. No one is gonna here me. [screams] Wish I could have gone with Ryan on that cool retreat! Jan has plastic boobs! I HAVE HEMORRHOIDS! Doesn't even matter.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael is a man of great depth and passion. I don't know what he's searching for out here. [pulls a nest from a tree] I hope he finds it. [picks up some bird eggs] Lunch.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well it is a little chillier than I had thought, so I have fashioned my hat back into my pants. Several hours in, time for me to find some nourishment. Now, these woods are full of creatures that can sustain human life. Things like, uh, squirrels, nice juicy rabbit would be delicious.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>About two more minutes [cooking bird eggs].</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I have made this spear, with which I will impale my dinner. And it couldn't come a moment too soon because I have been without food for a good three hours or so. I'm startin' to feel it a little bit. Ohh... It's Creed's birthday. [singing] Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to Creed. Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday, buddy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What is Jim thinking? It's a birthday, so what if there's a lot of them?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Meredith</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">meredith</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, I work hard all day. I like knowing that there's going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. If I don't have some cake soon, I might die.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Why don't you just have an apple?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Why don't you mind your business?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Stanley</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">stanley</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Listen, I figured this out. Jimmy had his birthday three weeks ago, so he doesn't care.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Probably went to his head.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah. [Jim enters room]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, Jim.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Oscar</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">oscar</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey guys, what're we talking about?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nothing! Nothing going on. We're talking about nothing. C'mon gang.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well if you take a look at this, I tented my pants. I've made myself a nice pants tent shelter. And this little guy [pats a large tree trunk] may be Dunder Mifflin paper some day.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Nothing to worry about. Just using the scope. Safety is... [clicks rifle into safety mode] on.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[knocks] Hey Jim.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Toby.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, I just got the word on the communal birthdays. Great idea.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, thanks man.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Is there anything --</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>My birthday was two months ago.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, OK.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>There was no party.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, it... there was. But Michael scheduled it for 4:58 on a Friday. You know, people sang in the parking lot.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I remember that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't know, I just thought you could include me.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Seriously?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I just though you could add me. I don't see the harm in that.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Toby's great. He's great, but sometimes he can be a little bit much. [in Toby voice] I don't see the harm in that. Well, it's a cake Toby, so, c'mon.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>OK. Yeah, you know what, we're just gonna throw you in. Because more the merrier, right?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No. No way. I am not a machine, Jim. You can't just change plans willy nilly and expect these little magic party elves to do your bidding. We already have devils food, peach cobbler, Fudgie the Whale, mushroom caps.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm allergic to mushrooms.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Toby</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">toby</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's a bummer. OK, then we need to...[steps outside office] Hey everybody. Hi, how you doing? Can I have your attention please? 'Cause we have to talk about this birthday thing.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[raises hand] Conference room?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, conference room in five minutes... No. No. We're gonna solve it right here. We're actually gonna talk about it out here. So, who has problems with the birthday thing? [everyone raises hands] One, two, three, everybody. OK, so then we just shouldn't do it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What am I supposed to do with two cakes and a pie?'</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Angela</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">angela</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, I'll take 'em.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Kevin</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">kevin</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well nobody's touching my cobbler.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Creed</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">creed</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[raises hand] Hey, Michael. I mean Jim.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Phyllis</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">phyllis</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yup, Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Under this tree, I think I struck the mother load. Those [points camera to mushrooms] are nature's best mushrooms. Wild, and I have to say these little buggers are damn tasty as well. [puts them in mouth]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Stop! No, no Michael! Nooo! Nooo! [runs up to Michael and knocks him over] Nooo! Arghh. Get, get them out. [picks out mushrooms from Michael's mouth]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday [Michael joins in with high note] to Creed. Happy Birthday to you. [Creed blows up candles on pie]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Everybody</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="meta">everybody</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah! [everybody clapping] Alright, skip around the room. Skip around the room. We want -- OK, alright. Yeah, don't do that. You're gonna break something.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth, and clothing, and television, and hamburgers, and to walk upright, and to have a soft futon at the end of the day. He didn't want to have to struggle to survive. I don't need the woods. I have a nice wood desk. I don't need fresh air, because I have the freshest air around, A.C. And I don't need wide open spaces. Check it out. [shows off computer screen scenery] I can also make it the sky.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey, buddy.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>What up?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Sure glad you're back.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You are relieved.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You have no idea.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So what did I miss?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So, terrible idea.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah, okay, I did that. Rookie mistake.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You did do it?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Uh huh. Yeah, just wait. Ten years, you'll figure it out.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Well, I don't think I'll be here in ten years.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's what I said. That's what she said.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's what who said?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I never know. I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, to lighten the tension. When things sort of get hard.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>That's what she said.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hey! Nice. Really good. Bravo, my young ward.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Come in!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, it's Creed's birthday today. Should we get him an ice-cream cake? Mint chocolate chip?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Pam, are you my friend?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Oh, no.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>We have been friends forever, right?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yes, I have been working with you forever.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Hypothetically... would you go camping with me, if I were to ask you? And bear in mind that I would never actually ask you to go camping. That Jim is also a friend of mine, and I would rather die than make any sort of improper ovation toward you.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I don't think so.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Here's the thing. When Michael invents a hypothetical situation, he eventually turns it into an actual situation.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Do you understand that Jim is like a brother to me, and I would never do anything inappropriate?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I do.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>So, as friends, would you go with me on a camping trip?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Thank you for your honesty.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You're welcome. Open or closed?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Split the difference. Hey... mint chocolate chip, please? Is Jim out there?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Can you send Dwight in here?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Yeah. Dwight, Michael wants to see you in his office. [Dwight runs in]</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>You wanted to see me?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mmhmm. I had something very personal I would like to discuss. [Dwight closes door, takes off glasses, kneels in front of Michael's desk] Would you go find Jim, and send him in here, please?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm on it.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Michael has employed Dwight to track you down.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>How much time do I have?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Jim</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">jim</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Jim, Michael's office.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Couple minutes, give or take.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Pam</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">pam</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Now, Jim!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
<Scene>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>And this... is a Hassenfass. Case-hardened steel. One side, as sharp as you'd ever want something to be. The other side serrated for maximum damage.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Okay.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Look at that. Perfectly balanced. This is a fine precision instrument.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>All right, Dexter, just give me the knife.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Don't you want a sheath for that?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, just get me a case. [Dwight looks at the camera, lifts his leg onto the desk, removes the sheath from his ankle, and gives it to Michael] All right.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Anything else? Flint...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>MmMmm. All I need...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Parka...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>No, Dwight!</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Tent, rainfly, gorp...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>I'm telling you, all I will need are my instincts and my will to survive.</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>Mmmnnnnmmm...</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Dwight</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">dwight</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
<Quote>
<QuoteText>[holding up knife] What is this called again?</QuoteText>
<Speaker>
<SpeakerText annotated="false">Michael</SpeakerText>
<Characters>
<Character type="main">michael</Character>
</Characters>
</Speaker>
</Quote>
</Scene>
</SceneList>
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