mirror of
https://github.com/Xevion/the-office.git
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1345 lines
47 KiB
XML
1345 lines
47 KiB
XML
<SceneList>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
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<Text>Uh oh. She's doing it again.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Phyllis has gotten into audio books and lately she's been listening to 50 Shades of Grey. Which, if you don't know what it is, it's a book about um...</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
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<Text>It's porn.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Yeah.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>[Phyllis rocks her chair into his provocatively] Seriously. Ugh. Ok, this is unacceptable. It's officially a hostile work environment.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
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<Text>Why?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>Somebody just needs to get her attention, tell her it's not OK to do this in public.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Be careful. I pulled my mom's dog off a pillow once, and I got bit.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
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<Text>Just ignore her. Sooner or later she'll finish.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Group</Speaker>
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<Text>Ugh. Ew.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>What?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Phyllis is masturbating. In the office right now as we speak.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
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<Text>Can we skip the color commentary and just have Andy go out there and fire her?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
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<Text>He- he can't do that. Turns out she's allowed to have feelings of sexual arousal. It doesn't become a violation until she physically acts on it.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Group</Speaker>
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<Text>No!</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
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<Text>Toby, how do you propose that we-</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Why is Phyllis so aroused?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>She's listening to 50 Shades of Grey.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Well there you go. That's muy caliente.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>OK, you are useless. I'll take care of this. [walks out of Andy's office and dumps water on Phyllis]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
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<Text>What the hell?!</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>It's OK guys, she's no longer horny.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Excuse me, dirty birdie [takes Phyllis' iPod]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
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<Text>Wait, what?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>You can have this back at the end of the day. [cut to Andy listening to the iPod and looking aroused, water is dumped on him] Oh!!</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Clark, I need your advice. I'm having some lady troubles.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
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<Text>What's her name?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Esther Ruger. [Angela makes a face in the background]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
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<Text>Sweet.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Lives on the neighboring farm. 85 acres.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh yeah. Keep talkin'.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Well, we've been out three times, there has been physicality but the thing is we were hanging out with her father the other night looking at a farm catalog, next thing I know he wants to lease a tractor with me.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>[laughs] What do you think?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
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<Text>The same thing that you think.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>A long term tractor lease is going to put pressure on a relationship.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
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<Text>God, one of my buddies is going through the same thing right now. Something in the air.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
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<Text>Here you go. And good for you Dwight, I'm so glad you found someone. I bet she's got kind eyes.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
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<Text>Dwight is dating a brussel sprout farmer named Esther. She's coming here this afternoon with her father. Who knows? Maybe she'll be pulling the horse cart! [laughs]</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>[on phone] Cici has been calling me 'Pamela'. Like four times this week.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh man. [laughs]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>I wonder if she'll start calling you 'Jim'.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh boy, please don't. Let's not let that happen.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>[laughs] Um.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>What was I gonna- What was I gonna say?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>You're- You know your assistant told me that you have a big pitch meeting today. With Ryan Howard. How did that happen?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Not that Ryan Howard. Um, the Phillies' first baseman.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh, oh OK.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Yeah, yeah. Exactly.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>[sighs] Um, Ok. Well?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Yeah. So, uh, I'll uh, talk to you later?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Yeah, sounds good. Ok.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Ok great.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Ok.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Bye.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Bye.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
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<Text>[Meredith laughs] What's going on? Oh, did Gangnam Style put out a new song?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
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<Text>There's a promo for the new documentary on the web.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
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<Text>Play it again.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Promo Voice</Speaker>
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<Text>[Music begins, Michael Scott is shown] The boss. [Pam and Dwight are shown in episodes past] The workers. [Ryan and Michael are shown] The lives. [Jim and Pam and Dwight and Angela are shown] The loves. [More flashback clips] The people. The paper. The Office: An American Workplace. Coming soon on WVIA.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
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<Text>Whoa. You go to the bathroom for 45 minutes and everything changes.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
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<Text>This is a documentary? Oh, I always thought we were like specimens in a human zoo.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
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<Text>[Angela is rewatching the promo and looks nervous about the part with her and Dwight] Did you see this? [lifts monitor in her direction]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
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<Text>Your screen is all black. You just unplugged your computer.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
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<Text>[Pam smiles as she watches the promo with her and Jim on the roof] Oh my god, is that you and Jim?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Uh huh.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
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<Text>Jeez, you fell in love with that hair? Really? [laughs] Yikes. That is awful.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>It wasn't so bad.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Guys, are you reading the online comments? Somebody commented on my banjo playing. "Banjo at 0:19 is aight" Internet, calm down! I must be really connected with this guy. I mean that's the guy's name, right? ChobbleGobbler?</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Hey man, how you doin'? Jim Halpert.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
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<Text>Nice to meet you. Eat Fresh.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>Hey, man. Darryl.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
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<Text>Hey there, Ryan. Nice to meet you. Eat Fresh. [to camera] Eat Fresh.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Let's go to the conference room.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Esther's on her way up. I wonder if she wants a snack. Let's see, I know she likes apples and carrots.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
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<Text>I bet she does. I bet she'll eat them right out of your hand with those big strong teeth.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Did I tell you about her teeth?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
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<Text>Hey Dwight, you have some guests. I think they're from the forest where we harvest our paper.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
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<Text>Yes.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Ah, the Ruger family. Welcome.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Mr. Ruger</Speaker>
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<Text>Fine office you have here. Sturdy walls.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Yes. Esther, you look radiant as always.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Esther</Speaker>
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<Text>Thank you. [Dwight kisses her forehead]</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
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<Text>I guess men find Esther attractive. I mean if there are chubby chasers, then there are men that like that....thing.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Weird to see how we used to look in those promos. Some of us have changed so much.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
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<Text>[eating soft pretzel] We've all changed.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>With our firm, you'll be building equity for long after they've retired your number.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>And we all know, baseball does not last forever.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
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<Text>I look at these actors on TV and I think: "C'mon, I can do that."</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Right? [laughs]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
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<Text>Watch this: Eat Fresh. Now what does that make you think of?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>Subway sandwiches.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Yep.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
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<Text>How? I didn't say Subway sandwiches. It's called playing the subtext.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Wow.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
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<Text>I actually wrote a screenplay, it's called "The Big Piece"</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Based on his nickname. Like it already. Let me guess, it's autobiographical.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
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<Text>Half biopic and half superhero movie. A mild mannered professional baseball player, Ryan Howard-</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>OK</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
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<Text>-hits a home run into outer space. Ball comes back with space dust on it, which transforms him into: The Big Piece.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>The space dust does it.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Space dust.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>Yeah.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
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<Text>I actually brought a- some copies of my script if you guys wanna read it together.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Sure, yeah. [laughs] Hollywood. [Ryan Howard pulls out 3 thick scripts] Alright.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>Wow. Yeah, we gonna read it.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Ok, great.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
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<Text>Andy, are there documentary groupies?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Of course there are!</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
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<Text>Of course.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Toby</Speaker>
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<Text>A little ironic that I'm going to be kind of a TV star, because my last Chad Flendermen novel [groups groans] was based on a murdered TV star. The small screen-</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Nellie</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh, I don't care.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
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<Text>Hey guys, I just found another promo. It's in Danish. I guess it's gonna start airing in Denmark.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh my god!</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Promo Announcer</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[Speaks Danish]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What was that word they said when they showed me "Skrald mand"? What's that mean in Danish? Cool guy? [Oscar looks it up]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Dumpster Man.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Cool. Superhero.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What about me? "Klokken tre pige"</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>"Three PM Girl"</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What? Why would they...wait a second, wait a second! What was that? [pauses on her and Dwight leaving the warehouse area where they've just had sex] Oh! I didn't know they were filming then!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>It looks like the camera man was hiding behind the shelves.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Wait. So they were filming all the time? Even when we didn't know it?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh my god. [All look at camera horrified]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>There was much more secret filming than I expected. [laughs] But I am fine with it, I mean it. I am.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Are you kidding me? It's like half the show is secret footage.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I am a very private person. I show 'em when I wanna show 'em. Who wants a taste? [lifts shirt to flash camera] Boob sauce!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Group</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Meredith!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Come on!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Nellie</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh my god. Do they film us at night when we're sleeping?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yes, Erin. They film us at night when we're sleeping. Cause that makes great TV!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oscar.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I'm sorry sweetie. This whole thing is just freaking me out.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I have been very honest with you guys. In a way that could seriously impact the political career of a very good friend of mine. You're not going to use any of that, are you?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>People, relax! We are killing it online. Have you guys checked the comments? SmokeThatSkinwagon says: "You guys are killing it!" I mean, we're internet sensations guys!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I think we need to figure out what's going on. I might just take a little walk.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yes, a little walk sounds like a good idea. [groups moves to warehouse and you can hear Erin whispering something]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Ok everyone, turn off your mikes.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We need to know more. Did their shots have sound? What exactly did they get on tape?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I sneezed into my hands without using Purell and then dipped into the candy jar. Did they film that?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Nellie</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>My first week here I sneezed directly into the candy jar because I thought I'd get more [Angela and Oscar make disgusted faces] I thought I'd get more screen time than anyone.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pete</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Ok, Pam. Why don't you visit your buddy, the crew guy that got fired? Find out what they got.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Brian?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pete</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, I guess I could.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hurry Pam, I need to know how much hellfire is going to rain down on me.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I thought Terry knew about Cynthia?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>She does. But neither of them know about Lydia.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Group</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Wow.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Whoa! Whoa! OK, so what's this lever do?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ruger Sister 1</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>That manipulates the secondary shaft.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, the secondary shaft. Eeeh, oooga! [laughs]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Salesmen</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>The lift capacity's up at two thousand pounds. That's a lot of beets.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Mr. Ruger</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Let's talk terms. If you agree to a forty sixty split on this tractor, I'll store it in one of my barns.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Mr. Ruger, are you trying to take advantage of me because I'm interested in your daughter? Fifty fifty split or no deal.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Mr. Ruger</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Esther, get in the truck.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Ok ok ok, wait! You win. [shakes hands]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Salesman</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Let's get the paperwork started.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ruger Sister 2</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We should buy an auger together.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, yeah. Yeah.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ruger Sister 1</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You would be a great one to buy an auger with.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[on phone] Hello, honey? I just spoke to the TV repair man, he says we need to keep our TVs turned off for a couple of months. Something about the wiring.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh! Seven new comments. "The guy at 0:19 is hawt!" [typing] "Hi Bongripper, it's me, Andy. The guy from 0:19, I'm glad that you enjoyed my work in that promo. I really enjoyed your comment, going to read some more comments now. Have a great day!"[reading] "He's not hawt, he's gay." [typing] "Dear JasonJasonJason, it's me, Andy. Nice name. Not! Guess what? I'm not gay! So you are an IDIOT. And I am hawt, according to people on this site who have a brain. Never comment on this page ever again." [reading] "He is hawt!" See, thank you, that's more like it. "He is butt." God dammit! I'm about to lose my FREAKING MIND! Screw you TexasPoonTappa! Uh!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Security deposit. That's been-</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Mr. Ruger</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Standard.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Right, standard.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey, can I talk to you for one second?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>One second.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>One second.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I am closing a deal on a tractor with the father of a woman I plan to inseminate.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Don't do it. [takes Dwight's pen]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What? Don't you cap that pen. Do not cap that pen! Do not! Ugh! You capped it. Wow. You are serious. Ok, you've got two minutes and then the cap comes off.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Dude, we're being conned.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Go on.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>These chicks are way too hot to be into us. Esther's just pretending to like you so that you'll buy her daddy a new tractor.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yes. Her sister's trying to seduce me into buying an auger with her.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What? Has the warranty expired on the auger you have now?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I don't even know what an auger is!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No woman would ever want a man who doesn't know what an auger is.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Mr. Ruger</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey, you ready to sign?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I just need a moment to consider your offer. Excuse me. [grabs Clark]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, hey!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hi. [laughs]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hi, um. I'm sorry, do you have a minute? Is this a bad time?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No, no, please, yeah, come on in. It's good to see you. Sorry, my place is usually not this-</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh my gosh, please, don't.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, no, I- actually it's always like this. [laughs] Do you want to go outside? It's a little less cluttered out there.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Sure, yeah. Yeah.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Let me grab a couple drinks.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>OK. [Goes out onto terrace] Oh wow, you have a nice view.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Alright, that's for you. [hands her beer]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, thank you.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Cheers.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Cheers.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[Plays boom box to drown out sound] Alright, how much have you revealed on camera about your relationship with the senator?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>They caught us kissing on Halloween.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh! He was dressed like Ronald Reagan! [Slaps Oscar]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>God!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Angela! Well he kissed like Jack Kennedy!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh! [slaps him again] Stop it! Stop kissing him! Someone needs to call and warn him. This could ruin his career.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Well, I don't like giving him bad news.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Call him!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You call him!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Call him! [hits Oscar]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Stop hitting me!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Call him! Call him!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>So...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>So..</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What brings you by?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Well, the promo for the documentary aired today.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh yeah, that's right.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah. It's kinda crazy.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, it is.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>See all this like old stuff, like um, there's that shot of Jim and I up on the roof?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh yeah, that was, that was a good moment.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, wasn't that neat?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, it was cool.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, and there's this one when we were listening to music and it's like, it's like w were in love and we didn't even know we were in love and it's...but- Do you think Jim's changed?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Um...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I'm sorry. Did that? That was out of the blue-</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No no, it's-</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I just mean because you know us and you like observed us for ten years and I feel like he's- I just feel like...he's so into his work right now and....I don't know, am I crazy?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No, you're not crazy.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Well, I wish that made me feel better. Listen, so everybody saw the promos and they're kinda freaking out. [Brian laughs] Cause it seems like you got a lot of private stuff on camera-</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You know, stuff people didn't intend for everyone to see. And they kinda want to know how much.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>They want to know how much what?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>How much stuff you got.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Pretty much everything.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Well yeah, but what if we turned our mike packs?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>They've got parabolic mikes, they can pick you up a hundred yards away, so...no if you were around there, they got you.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>So we basically had no privacy for ten years.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>That's not really true, I mean-</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Um...yeah, I gotta, I gotta go.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh no, hang on a second. Pam, I'm sorry, I- I- I can explain this so much better.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No I think you explained it.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Brian</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Look, if you give me a chance I can, I- [Pam leaves] Pam.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>"Together we will win this baseball game against the evil space Yankees. Eat Fresh."</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>That'll pay for the exploding helicopter.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Smart.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>"Suddenly, the evil thugs break in to the stadium. The Big Piece hits baseballs at the evil thugs."</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>"Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks."</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Come on man, sell it!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, Jim.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[louder] "Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks!"</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, that's better. A bunch of hot women go: "Oh yeah!"</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>"Megan, I was too shy to tell you this when I was just a normal professional baseball player, but I love you."</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>"They kiss. It is super emotional. Like in Toy Story."</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Wow. I tell you what, it's really strong. I can't wait to read the rest of it later and see how it ends.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>It's so strong.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Keep reading then.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>"Gotta go! Darth Vader's launching a huge attack."</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Um another thing. I'm gonna need you to get me the rights to Darth Vader.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I don't know how we'd go about doing that.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We can look into it.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We'll look into it.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Ryan Howard</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We need Darth.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We gotta get him.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We'll go after Darth then.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We're gonna go get him.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>That's what we gotta do.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We're gonna get him.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Maybe you're right. Esther's a ten and the best I've ever done is Angela who's a nine and she rejected me.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>A Scranton nine, but yeah, point taken. Hey, let's go out tonight and just score a couple fours huh? I mean there are no games with fours.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Who needs a new tractor anyway? Maybe we're the kinda guys who end up with a tractor that's already been rode hard and put away muddy.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Screw new tractors. Guys like us, we gotta plant our seed a different way.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>By hand.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Esther</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Dwight, we need to talk.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I don't know that there's anything left for us to talk about, Esther.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Esther</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Look, we're gonna have the tractor for the same amount of work days but my dad is planning on leasing it to the Vanderkirk brothers on the weekends.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Esther</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>So you're going to be paying more, but he's putting on ten times the miles and he's pocketing a profit behind your back.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>That snake!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Esther</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You need to tell him you want a deal based on miles or he can just stick that tractor where the sun don't shine.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>That shady grove out by Willard's pond.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Esther</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Mmhm.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>So, you're fine with me not leasing the tractor? I mean, our courtship can proceed?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Esther</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Of course. [laughs] You didn't just think I was tractor bait, did you?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[laughs] No!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Clark</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey Dwight, what's an auger used for?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Post hole digging. [points and laughs with Esther]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Esther</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Stupid.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Senator</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[On speakerphone] You've reached Senator Robert Lipton, please leave a message. [beep]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela & Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hi honey!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh you?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No you go. Hi honey!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey, Hey Robert!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>It's Angela and Oscar.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Just a few quick things.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Um the documentary's going to be airing soon, and, and you look great in the promos.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh you look so handsome! Very presidential.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Very much so.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Absolutely.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey, I get the sense you're gonna be outed as gay.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yes and I cheated on you with Dwight, it looks like they got it on film. I didn't tell you about it.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I think that's it!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I think we're good.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Done!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Bye!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Ok!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Angela</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Love you! [Oscar hangs up] God.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[on video] Hey! TexasPoonTappa and JasonJasonJason and all the rest of you haters out there! Check this out. [plays banjo, screen types out "you suck my nutz" from TexasPoonTappa, camera zooms out to reveal Nellie]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Nellie</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Good night Andy.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Huh? Yeah, see ya. [sees comment] Oh! What?! [starts crying]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Promo Announcer</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[Speaks Danish]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I hope you got sound on everything. I'd love a DVD of that. [at computer opens translator. Types in "Elskere" which comes back as "lovers" Pam smiles]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
</SceneList>
|