the-office/server/normalization/truth/episodes/7-13.xml

<SceneList>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David Brent</Speaker>
            <Text>Oh, sorry, mate.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[English accent] Oh, sorry, mate. Excuse me. Mate.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>[laughing] What you doing?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>English?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>You picked on the wrong person, I can tell you that.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Oh no no, I'm not picking on you at all. You're English, correct?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>Yeah big time, yeah.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>I'm working on an English character. Would you mind gi...  It's called Reginald Pooftah.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>Ooh! David Brent, my liege. How are you?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Michael Scott.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>Oh, there you go. I do characters as well. I got a Chinese fella. He's called Ho Li [bleep].  That's what it sounds like.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[laughing]</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>Herrow! Herrow!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>I do Ping. Herrow. I Ping!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>You can't do that these days. You can't.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>No, no, no. And people don't understand that is has nothing to do with making fun of a different nationality.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>No, no. No, comedy is a place where the mind goes to tickle itself. That's what she said. [laughs]. [hugs Michaels] Ohh.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>That's good. Pleasure to meet you.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>Where are you working?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Dunder Mifflin.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>Any jobs now?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>No, not right now.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>Just let me know.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>All right. See you around.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>David</Speaker>
            <Text>All right.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Bye-bye. What a nice guy.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Your first student is here, Mister Bernard.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>That's actually "Master of Ceremonies" Bernard.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Last year, I went to a seminar called "The Ten Secrets of Real Estate". Turns out it was just a ploy to sell me time-shares in Idaho. Cut to, you know, spending a weekend in Boise, terrible time, super lonely. But I get to thinking maybe I should put on my own seminar to lure clients.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Oh it's... [points to conference room]</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[enters] [in a gruff voice] Hello, I am here for the small business seminar.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Michael?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Nein! I'm greek! My name is Mikanos.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Ooh. Wait, Michael?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Okay.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>I am the plant. Every great seminar has one. My job is to make the speaker look good, and I do this through the techniques of leading questions and laughing at all jokes. And the character "Mikanos", is just a little added flava. "Mikanos" is loosely based on another character I do, "Spiros", who is more about the ladies.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Thank you so much Tuna Turner. You are simply the best.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Listen, this isn't a favor, all right?  This is a good idea. We all win.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Go higher. I get super flexible when I'm nervous.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Wow. [sees guy at Erin's desk] Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Hey, Andy, I'm really, really sorry to do this to you, but I have a meeting today that I totally forgot, so I can't be apart of this seminar.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>No. What? You can't do that. You are a critical part of this seminar. You're the charming warm-up guy,</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>I know.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>If the seminar was a meal, you'd be the amuse-bouche. You like, signal the flavors of the whole night.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>I'm really sorry. I can't do it.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>You can't. You can't.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>I can't have this go badly. I'm a terrible salesman, and I haven't been making very many sales lately, or ever. This is my only idea on how to turn things around. If it goes badly, I might lose my job, which would suck because this is the only job I've ever been good at.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Will you let me know when this whole seminar thing's over?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>What's going on? Do you know that guy?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>I just have a meeting, uh, outside the office.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>[to Erin] How are the marks?</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>What are some of your small business ideas?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Older guy</Speaker>
            <Text>I was thinking we could buy up of abandoned mine shafts.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Phyllis, Stanley, Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Oooh!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>That's great. There's a big, big future in that.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
            <Text>A lot of mines in Scranton.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Um, what about you?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Younger Guy</Speaker>
            <Text>Uh, credit cards.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Uh-huh.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Younger Guy</Speaker>
            <Text>My company would act as an intermedium, for like, point two cents off every transaction.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Wow!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Younger Guy</Speaker>
            <Text>Something with cell phones. It's like, every time you make a phone call I'd make point two cents. Or anything like any on-line shopping I would get point two cents.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Right. Okay? Great.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
            <Text>Great.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>You promised us whales. These are worms.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>They're not worms, Dwight, okay? They're just people with tiny businesses. They're baby whales which is even cuter.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
            <Text>I'm out.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Stanley, you're suppose to close.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
            <Text>I'm out too.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>What? I already lost Jim. Salesmen are suppose to help each other out. We're suppose to be a team.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>We're no more a team than the people staying in the same hotel are a team.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>You know what might be kind of fun?  I was thinking , you know Andy is having a seminar today? What if we went in as a greek couple? Mikanos and...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>Oh, I don't know, Michael. I'm not feeling up to that.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Okay.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Holly broke up with A.J last week, which is the greatest thing that has ever happened... to me. To Holly, it's been the worst week of her life, and I know for a fact that there was a week for her in high school when she got mono and her first period ever. Too much information? That's what I thought. But, you know what? Here I am using it.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[as Mikanos] If-a you change-a you mind, why don't you talk to Mikanos?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>Is Mikanos greek? He sounds Italian.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Ugh. You're the fifth person to tell me that today.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>Maybe Mikanos ran away to join the Italian circus.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Okay, yeah, like a character history. Good. Tom Hanks does that.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>[muttering] Down... there. [to Pam] Is "jlp" a word?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>"Jelp?" J-e-l-p?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>No, j-l-p. Like, "I jlp... I jlp you!"</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>I don't think that's a word.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>I'm playing Scrabble with Gabe, and I've never won a game.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>The winner gets to pick the movie we watch. I have won no games. So far I've seen "The Shining", "Rosemary's Baby", "The Ring". Not really my thing. Although, I... I do like the early parts of the movies where they have a perfect family and everything.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>You want some help?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Really?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>Mm-hmm.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Yes.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>K-a. "Ka"? What does "ka" mean?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>It means you're playing someone who's going to destroy you. Why did you play "moo"?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Because I'm playing to win. I'm playing "moo", I'm playing "milk". Whatever it takes.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>Okay, but look, you could have hit "mood". Would have played a...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Uh...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>A triple word.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Like the cow mood yesterday. God.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>Or moon.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>The cow jumped over the moon.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>She's stuck on that one thing.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>No, it doesn't have to just be cow stuff, right?</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Kevin, Jim dropped out of my seminar, and I'm just... I was wondering if you could replace him as my charming warm up guy.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
            <Text>Andy, I'm no Jim. The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version when Jim sees what his future would be like if he never met Pam.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey, that's crazy talk. I think you're great.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
            <Text>Then I won't let you down.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>Cake.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
            <Text>In you go.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Hi, Ryan, you went to business school, right?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
            <Text>Yup.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>I need somebody to talk to this seminar about business.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
            <Text>And?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Can you do it?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
            <Text>Okay. I don't... I don't like committing to things just like that.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>So no?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
            <Text>No, I don't like committing to not doing things, either. That's just as big a commitment.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>Oh, baby.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>What do I put you down for, bro hombre?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
            <Text>Yes.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>All right!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
            <Text>Yes, I'll do it.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Okay, than you so much. It's going to be so awesome.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
            <Text>And if I flake, I flake.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>What?</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Kevin, you open it up.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
            <Text>Yep.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Ryan, you come in with your small biz expertise, right? And then Creed:</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Welcome everybody. Awesome to see you guys. My name is Andy Bernard but you can call me The Nard Dog.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Older Woman</Speaker>
            <Text>Hi Nard Dog. I'm Lu Peachem.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Let's get things started, shall we? You guys ready to hear from the Dunder Mifflin business experts? Good. Well, as you can see on your program... first up is a speech called, "Don't Just Dream it, do it." Yes! Please give a big hand to Mr. Kevin Malone. [plays Ozzy Osboure's Crazy Train]</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
            <Text>[running laps around the conference room] Yes!</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
            <Text>There are some people who have charm and some people who don't. Guess which type I am. Charm type.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
            <Text>[out of breath] Dream... big. Right? So what I want you to do is dream the biggest that you c... an. [coughing] And then double it! [coughing].</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Are you okay?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
            <Text>No. Yes!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Here...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kevin</Speaker>
            <Text>No. I'm fine. Okay, from here now. The first lesson that I'm gonna teach you, right, is about finding success. And the key to finding success is to picture a winner. [coughing] [vomiting]. Okay, so then, what are you picturing right now, right this second? 'Cause the universe is yours, people. Get out of the way! [runs out of room]</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>I'm really excited to introduce you guys to Ryan Howard. He has achieved a great deal in the last...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>But perhaps no achievement is greater than his on-again, off-again girlfriend.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>What are you...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>Who am I? I'm Kelly Kapoor, the business bitch.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>It is important to brand yourself, so I have a couple of things in works. "The Business Bitch", "The Diet Bitch", "The Shopping Bitch", "The Etiquette Bitch."</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>I could sit here, and I could tell you the ten secrets of business, and you would have a great time, and you would learn a lot. But who better to tell you than the Yale University adjunct professor in management, Professor Scott Powell, who I have on my Blackberry. It's ringing.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Professor Powell</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey, Kelly Kapoor. What a delicious surprise.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>Profess Powell, you are on speakerphone.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Professor Powell</Speaker>
            <Text>Uh, why?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>Do you think you could tell us the ten secrets of business?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Professor Powell</Speaker>
            <Text>Um, there aren't really ten secrets.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>Come on Scott, please? It's me.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Professor Powell</Speaker>
            <Text>Um, all right. Well, um, I guess know your market would be key. Practice fiscal discipline.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>Mm-hmm.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>That brilliant little bitch.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>A little treat for our old friend Gabe. Put that "q" right there.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Wait. Why?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>Put the "q" there, sweetie.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>I think there's better...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>Put the "q" there! [phone rings] Sorry I yelled.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>You could have just told us what you were thinking.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>There's no theater in that.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>There's no yelling in that, either.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>Well...</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>What do you do in your free time?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[as Mikanos] Practice Olympics.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>Mmm. Do you like movies?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[as Mikanos] I like the musical "Grease", or as we call it, "home".</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>We have to try this out on somebody.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[as Mikanos] Hello.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Hank</Speaker>
            <Text>Look, you want to order something?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>She will have a greekaccino.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Hank</Speaker>
            <Text>I don't know what that is.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>It...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>[with accent] It's a very strong coffee with milk from a goat.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[laughs] I can't believe-ee. It's a miracle. She can talk!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>No more brain damage.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>No more brain damage!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>Ahh!</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>I don't know.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Ladies and gentlemen, our special guest speaker will provoke you. He will inspire you. He is... Creed Bratton. [applause]</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Creed</Speaker>
            <Text>Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples. A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question:</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
            <Text>I picked out our movie. It's called "Suspiria". It pushes all the boundaries. All your preconceived notions about what horror can be come crashing down.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>When I win...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
            <Text>Ooh.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>We're gonna watch "Wall-e", where all the boundaries of color are pushed.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
            <Text>It is hard to explain why Erin is doing so well today. The only thing I can think is Erin is living out some "Slumdog Millionaire" scenario, where every word she's playing has a connection to her orphan past. It's possible.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>So what's your crazy business pipe dream?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Guy</Speaker>
            <Text>Well, I started my own golf supply company.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>[unimpressed] Really?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Guy</Speaker>
            <Text>It's taken off faster than I expected, so I came here to learn about creating manageable growth.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>[quietly] Phyllis?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Phyllis</Speaker>
            <Text>Hmm?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Some of these people are for real.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey, friend. How's it going? Oh, you know what? Let me steep that for you.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Thank you.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey, you know what? Good news. We're back in. Let's go sell some paper, Buddy. Huh?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Really?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
            <Text>Ahem!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Excuse me.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>I got it. I got it.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>[turning towards Darryl] Hey, do you need a lozenge?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
            <Text>[whispering] They're a bunch of jackals.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>What?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
            <Text>They left you in the lurch, and if they want to jump in, it means you're almost there. You did this. Bring it home.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>[to Dwight, Stanley, and Phyllis]:</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Hi. Hope you enjoyed your lunch. Welcome back. [to Michael and Holly] Ooh. Well, hello. Welcome to the seminar. Hey, man. What's goin' on?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>[whispering] You're gonna blow it.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Maybe. Only maybe.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>We got it! Wow! We got it!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>Oscar, wait. I think the victory would be more meaningful if Erin puts the last word in herself.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>Yes, Pam. Yes, most definitely. Yes.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Yes.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>[pulls phone back] Ah. No! [laughing] [hands phone back]. Although I must say, I will have "apoplexy" if you lose. Do you understand? "Apoplexy" is what I will have.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Apoplexy.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Oscar</Speaker>
            <Text>Yes.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Got it. [plays word] Oh, Oscar. Oscar?</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>I played "ape."</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>[on phone] I just want to make a point to that last caller. I disagree. I don't think it is the running game at all. I think we do have to make a few moves in this off-season.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Wow! What a day, right? Guess you guys are probably ready to go. And you got my business card, so...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[as Mikanos] Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. You know, I like you. I'm going to give you my secret gyro recipe. Come out here since it's a secret, and I'll tell you. [exits conference room] [normal voice] All, you have to close right now.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Yeah, I mean, I'm getting to it.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>No, you're not. You're getting past it. You have to close. You can do it.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Yeah, yeah.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>Andy, what's the problem?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>This is hard for me. I'm a nice guy.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>You, Kelly and Creed, Kevin, they believe in you. Don't let them down. Don't let yourself down, Andy. I'm gonna go back in. I'm going to stall them for a little bit. I want you to get your head together, and then come back in. I want you to close. [entering conference room] [as Mikanos] What is taking that guy so long?</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Psst. You think this thing's gonna go much longer?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>I don't know. They're still in there.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Ohh! Good-bye.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>Stop. Out with it.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>Here's the story. That guy in there is Jim's childhood friend, Tom.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Tom Witochkin. One of my best buddies, actually.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>And when they were both in the third grade, Jim was placed in the top reading group.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>I was blue group, so it was second from the top.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>And Tom...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Was in the green group.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>And Jim's mom suggested that Jim spend time hanging with the kids in his reading group, because she though that would be a good influence.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>And that's what I told him.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
            <Text>Right. But how'd you say it?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>"My mom thinks you're too dumb to hang out with."</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Okay, who would like to purchase this small business package from me right now? Yes, we got one. Okay, the snowball is rolling. Who else? You can put it off for a couple of days, but I guarantee you, eventually you're gonna realize you need this. So the only thing that's gonna be different is you'll be a couple of days behind where you would be if you bought this from me right now. So who's gonna buy one right now?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Older Woman</Speaker>
            <Text>I'll take one.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Yes! Awesome! All right, anyone else? [younger guy raises hand] Sold! Anybody else? [older guy raises hand] Yes! All right!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>Yeah bitch.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Good choice. The rest of you are dead to me. You made the stupidest decision of your life.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[quietly] No, no, no.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>But it was a pleasure meeting you, and you've got my information, so feel free to call anytime.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
            <Text>Whoo!</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey, you think it's cool if I grab a soda?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Yeah, woah. [deeper voice] Yep, absolutely, go ahead.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>How's it goin'?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Pretty good.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>It's been a while.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>It has been, yeah.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>So you work here, huh?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Sales.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>Must be a front for some kind of famous laboratory. [laughs]</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>[laughs]</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>'Cause you're so smart.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>Oh, man. You remember that, huh?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>Oh, barely. I'm so dumb, you know, stuff goes in, stuff goes out. Not like you probably remember every paper sale you ever made. Paper salesman genius.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>All right, good catch-up.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>Yeah.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
            <Text>See ya.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Tom</Speaker>
            <Text>Where's your jetpack, Zuckerberg?</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
            <Text>Andy. I didn't think you had it in ya.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Well, I guess when you looked in me, you forgot about my balls. They're on the outside. Don't how you missed 'em.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>[with accent] Wonderful seminar!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>[as Mikanos] Almost as good as the first day when we first met. You are the love of my life. Come to me, Necropolis. Put your lips on my lips. Come on.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Holly</Speaker>
            <Text>Michael, I should get back to work.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
            <Text>What? Come on. It's time for grapes. [regular voice] Real fun day.</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
    <Scene>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
            <Text>So, I won.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>I know. You get to pick.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
            <Text>Well, that's actually what I came to talk to you about. I know how much you want to watch "Wall-e".</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Yes?</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
            <Text>So I got us a compromise. This movie's called "Hardware". It tells the story of a killer combat robot, just like Wall-e, that the government invented to destroy humans. It's some of what you like and some of what I like, and... married...</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Hey, I heard you talking about movies before, and, anyway, I just watched this over the weekend. I thought you'd really like it.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>There's a "Shrek" two?!</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
            <Text>Oh, yeah. See you tomorrow.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
            <Text>Nice guy.</Text>
        </Quote>
        <Quote>
            <Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
            <Text>Ohh. [laughs]</Text>
        </Quote>
    </Scene>
</SceneList>