mirror of
https://github.com/Xevion/the-office.git
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1249 lines
46 KiB
XML
1249 lines
46 KiB
XML
<SceneList>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Description</Speaker>
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<Text>[Pam is on phone and clicking her mouse rhythmically, Jim is clicking his pen equally as much, and Dwight notices]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Stop it!</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Stop what?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>You're talking about me in Morse Code. Well, you know what? Joke's on you 'cause I know Morse Code. Ha!</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>[chuckles] Yeah. That's what we're doing. In our very limited free time and with our very limited budget, we went and got a nanny and then we went out and took a class on a very outmoded and very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Yup. That's exactly what we did.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>It all started when Dwight was tapping his foot against the leg of his desk. When I asked him to stop, he said, "I will when you lose the baby weight."</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Very well. I must have imagined it. I apologize. [Pam clacking her stapler and Jim responding with tapping his keyboard rhythmically] Detonator. Detonator where? Michael!</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Jim. Are you clicking a detonator?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>It's a pen.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Michael, come on.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Get back to work, Dwight. Please.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Fine. [clears throat] Hey. Tap away. [Dwight puts noise-cancelling headphones on and Pam and Jim begin to blink rhythmically]</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Ooh! Things with Donna are so... oh-ho-ho! They're going great. I, uh... we're just clicking on every level. Emotionally and sexually and... orally and I am not used to relationships going this well. I'm actually having trouble focusing on my job. And I like it!</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Who enjoys the weekends? [all raise hands] Of course. Now the weekend is always great if you have someone, which I do. I have Donna. She is hot. She has a Pilates butt. But we need to find something to do this weekend beside have sex. Did I say that? Yes, I did. [all nod] And the reason you are here is that I need ideas for things that Donna and I could do on the weekend. So just shout it out.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
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<Text>I have an idea for your weekend.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Okay.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
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<Text>Let me get back to my desk right now.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Okay, you get out of here, big dog. [high-fives Stanley] Ah, no, no, no, no. You guys sit down. I need ideas.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Stanley got to go.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Yeah, well, Stanley doesn't help with anything. Come on. Shout 'em out, shout 'em out.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Walk around apple orchards.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh!</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Super romantic.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>That's fun.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Eel fishing.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>All right.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>Curl up with your favorite DVD.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Meredith</Speaker>
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<Text>You and Donna should hit the Poconos. They have heart-shaped Jacuzzis. Room enough for three.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>We actually went to the Poconos last Tuesday. We headed up there, we went to a little Chinese bistro, um, P.F. Chang's.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
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<Text>Wait, why would you go all the way to the Poconos to P.F. Chang's when we have the Great Wall in Scranton.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Because when your super-hot girlfriend says, "I wanna go to Mount Pocono," you go to Mount Pocono and you do her. And we screwed. Whoops. TMI.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
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<Text>Wait, that's crazy far. Are you sure she's not cheating?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>You know what, Kelly? This is the real world. Not The Real World:</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
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<Text>Does she leave the room when she takes phone calls? Does she keep perfume in her purse? Does she shower before sex? Does she shower after sex? Does she...</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Yeah, she does all that.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Ryan</Speaker>
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<Text>Sorry, dude.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>No, no...</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Michael, do not let your imagination run amok.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Run what?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Amok. It means, don't let your imagination run out of control.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Why didn't you just say that, Pam?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Michael, do not let your imagination run out of control.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Well, that's easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination. It's stupid. I live in a fantasy world.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>You do?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Yes, Jim, I do. And I can't stay in a relationship that is full of lies and deceit.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>But you didn't believe any of this was true five minutes ago.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>That's what makes it so wrong.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Ever since I found out that Donna might be cheating on me, I have not eaten or slept. This not knowing, that's what's killing me.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh, God, that tickles. What did...</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>[whispers] I want someone to follow Donna. I want her tailed. I need the name of a good private investigator.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>I think I've got one for you. [hands Michael a business card]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>This is you. How much do you charge?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>$100 a day, plus expenses.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>I'll give you $50. Money's no object.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>I'm just gonna warn you... and I say this to all my clients... you might not like what I find.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Okay.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>And you might not like how I find it. [slides over table, leaves]</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Of course. Yeah, that's terrible. Okay, let me get back to you. Hey, Stanley. One of my clients just called and said that their Sabre printer started smoking and caught on fire.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Stanley</Speaker>
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<Text>My doctor told me to cut out hot dogs. We all got problems.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Hey, Gabe I need to talk to you about something. It's really important.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
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<Text>There's no way that you guys have any almond butter, right?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Yeah, I don't know. Look, one of my clients called. He was in the middle of a big printing job and the back of the printer started smoking and then the paper tray caught on fire.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
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<Text>That's weird. I haven't heard of that happening. I would even settle for apricot preserves.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>What are we gonna do about this?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
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<Text>I don't know. Call HQ, see if they know anything. Yeah. That's what I'll do today. All right. Yeah.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>Let me know what they say.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>[puts newspaper down] Wow. That dude is good.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>What do you mean?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>You didn't feel like he was hiding something?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
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<Text>I don't know.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>Like he was... covering something up? Maybe.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
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<Text>Two years ago, Andy blamed the warehouse for a late shipment that he forgot to process. We got yelled at pretty bad. Almost lost my job, and I was mad as hell at the time. But I said "Darryl, just wait. He's a fool. There's gonna be an opportunity. Just be patient." [smiles]</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>[sitting on his Firebird's hood in front of a gym] Hi stranger.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh, hi. You work for Michael.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>I work with Michael.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
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<Text>Right.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>Dwight Schrute. [they shake hands]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
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<Text>Donna, hi.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>All cases are solved with logic. The only logical way to find out if Donna Is a cheater is to seduce her, bring her to orgasm, then call Michael and tell him the sad news.</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>That's interesting. Wow, it's a little early for ice cream, don't you think?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh!...</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh, my God</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>It's comfort food, all right? [disgustedly] God.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>You know Michael, this whole Donna thing is gonna be okay, you just... stop beating yourself up.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>I know. Well, I hope you're right. We'll see what Dwight says.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Why do we have to see what Dwight says?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Because I have him investigating her. I'm waiting for a text update.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>Michael, no...</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>No, no, no, no. Undo that. Undo that.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>It's too late to undo it. I need to know. Otherwise this thing is going to spiral out of amok.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Michael. Okay, I'm... I'm going to talk straight to you because I think you need to hear it. Michael.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>God, this is so disgusting.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Stop eating it! Do you wanna be happy? Look at you. You have a major self-destructive streak in you.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>I know.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>And you kind of torpedo every romantic relationship you're in.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>That's not true. [Pam stares him down] You're right, I ruin everything. And I've known some wonderful women. Holly, Carol, Jan.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>Helene.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Helene?</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>My mother.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
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<Text>My mother, Helene. [Jim shakes his head]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>Oh, yeah. Yes, yes. Yes. All of, all of the greatest loves of my life.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
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<Text>You should stop this, [pulls away mayo and olives bowl] and you should call Dwight right now.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
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<Text>[sighs] All right. [calls Dwight]</Text>
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</Quote>
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</Scene>
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<Scene>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>[at gym, looks ready to work out, checks phone, and tries to grab Donna's attention] Oh, gosh, we were both going for the same weight at the same time; you go ahead.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
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<Text>Thank you.</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
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<Text>It's all yours. [strains loudly to lift two dumbbells and a free weight chained to strap around his head] Ah! [after first rep, Dwight is injured]</Text>
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</Quote>
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<Quote>
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<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
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<Text>You okay?</Text>
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</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, I'm good. Hey, you know an exercise for two people that uses the whole body?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[chuckles] Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Tractor pulling. Too bad there's not a tractor here.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[moaning loudly on exercise machine while staring at Donna who's next to him] Oh. Oh. Oh. [groans loudly] One thing you need to know about me. I don't quit until something tears or pops. [chuckles] You look like you're getting a good workout. Can I feel your pulse?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Nope. I'm good, thanks.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Really? Hey, um... [Dwight gets up and walks sorely from his "workout"]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Old lady</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Look, young man, can you wipe down that seat?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Get out of my way. Huh!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Tomorrow's fertilizer, am I right?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I'm out of here.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Donna. Donna, wait, please. I'm sorry. Okay? Listen. We both know why I'm here:</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You're back. What happened?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, I pulled muscles in both my thighs. Thanks for asking.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No, what happened with Donna?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, no. She's not cheating. Oh, man! Will you help me work out this knot? Right here. [near his groin]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Ugh!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Put your fingers here.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No. No! Are you sure?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I'm positive. Yeah, oh, and here's your expense receipts right there.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Who eats eight protein bars?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>People who don't trust egg whites.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Okay. Well, I am just glad this is all over.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, me too. And by the way, uh, I told her not to, but she's coming over here and she's furious.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What? No, she didn't say that.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You're right. I was paraphrasing. What she actually said was, [pulls out notebook] "What is with him? He is crazy. I'm coming over there to talk to him." And this was after I have no other recourse but to tell her and gym security that you had me sent there to see if she was cheating. Also, I joined the gym. You'll be billed monthly. [lays down gym membership receipt on a chair in Michael's office.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I am not paying for that membership.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[sitting on the floor behind Erin's desk, sighs] Ohhh... mmm...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Maybe you'd be more comfortable in your own office.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No, I like the attention. Is she here yet?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Uh, no. [Michael sighs, Donna enters] Wait, yes.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>That's her?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Erin</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Mm-hmm. Right. Right. Right. [Michael pretends to be speaking on the phone as Donna approaches] Okay, I'll talk to you later.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>How could you think I would cheat on you?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I didn't. Everybody else here did. Everybody convinced me that something was up. They poisoned my mind.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>That's pathetic.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Ye... pfff. Well, no. It's a lie. That's not what happened. I just like you. I can't believe I get to be with you. You work at an adult arcade. You could have any man you want.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>When I tell you I like you, you need to trust me, not some freak. [Dwight is gulping some sort of power shake]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>If you wanna dump me, I totally get it.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I told you I like you.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Well, you are boner-ific. [Donna laughs]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey, if I said that we should go away for a couple of days, you would...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>...poop my pants.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Have you ever been to Vero Beach?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, my God, Vero Beach. No. Is that on the water?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We're going.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We are?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What's up? I got your e-mail.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Close the door.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Okay.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I don't have a plan exactly. More of a loose structure. Gives me freedom to improvise. It's like jazz. [scatting] Andy don't mess with me. [continues scatting] I'll figure something out.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Some freaky stuff going on. I was walking behind Gabe and I heard some things.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Such as?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>It was kind of mumbled, I don't know, uh, only thing I could make out clearly was "Andy," "Problem," "Eliminate," something. I don't know what it meant.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What? You don't know what it meant? How about "Andy is a problem and we must eliminate him?"</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Whoa. I hadn't even thought of that.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[chuckles nervously] Yeah. Hah. Hoo.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, hey, I love your earrings.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Thank you.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Did Michael get them for you?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No, I bought them myself.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Where?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Steamtown Mall.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Claire's? Zales? Ricky's? Earring, Earrings? Fancy Girl? Platinum Cat? Where?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You know, I actually got them in Philadelphia, in a mall down there.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Kelly</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Franklin Mills? King of Prussia? Springfield? Governor's Place?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Uh, Franklin Mills.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[to Pam] What?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hmm? Oh. It's probably nothing.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Okay, heart-shaped jewelry is not something that a woman buys for herself. A man definitely bought it for her recently, and it wasn't Michael.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Wait, so are you... you like heart-shaped jewelry, though, right?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No. Except for the pendant that you bought me. Which I love.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Creed</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Psst... [Creed walks by Andy and draws his right index finger across his neck, further scaring Andy, Andy looks over at Darryl who is staring him down]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Creed's head of quality assurance. So he'd definitely be wrapped up in this.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Creed</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>So there I am, minding my own business and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. [draws finger across neck] Darnell's a chump. I would have done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>So it turns out Donna and I have a facebook friend of a friend in common, so I was able to see some of her pictures online. [pulls out picture of Donna embracing a man and smiling] This was taken two weeks ago. And this was taken the same night. [pulls out a picture of Donna kissing the same man] This photo was taken this morning. [shows a baby picture] It's Cece. [laughs] She's never gonna do anything wrong.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Isn't that something?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Wow. [Pam knocks on Michaels door and goes in] That's exciting.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey, Michael.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Hey.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I'm sorry to interrupt you. Um, I actually have something very important to talk to you about, business related.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Well it can wait. It can wait.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I lied it's personal. It's about me and Jim. We're... I just... you're the only person I can talk to.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Jim is her husband.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>And...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>And they are having problems, so sh...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No, not... we're not... we're not having problems. But it is personal. And I would love...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Good in bed.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yes. Yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my sex life with Jim.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, my God. Look at how cheap street level rooms are. Am I the only person who enjoys people watching?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[loudly] I need you to sign this! So bad!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Okay, weirdo.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I love [leans over Michael's desk to look at his computer screen]... this idea is neat. I've never been. It sounds lovely. [meanwhile Michael looks at the pictures Pam printed out]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah I think it'll be a nice trip. We're gonna get a lot done.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[to Michael] You're gonna wanna look at the date on that. Oh, wow. Look at... golfing. [to Donna] Are you a golfer?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I am, but I, I gave my clubs away. I swear too much. [Pam and Donna both laugh] Hey, you okay? [to Michael, walking away disappointedly]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, I just remembered that I have to go to the bathroom. Pam?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Absolutely. [both leave Michael's office]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Look, I'm not down there anymore, so if the guys start making fun of you, you just, you gotta stand up for yourself.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Glen</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I know, it's just, I'm scared...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Your text said 911.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Glen, could you excuse us? [Andy slams the door after Glen leaves, panting heavily]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>It's bad.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What's bad?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>It's real bad.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Still no plan.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, God.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>It's getting bigger.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I might have to go public here, but no one's gonna believe me. Uh... I need proof. I need, like, a printer to catch on fire.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I can videotape it.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[to camera] There it is.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>There what is?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Who the hell is this? Who is this guy?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I don't know who he is.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>God! Lowest of the low. That guy. Just a notch above Toby. You know what?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I'm gonna kill him. No, I'm not. I feel... I... no, I'm not going to kill him.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You just have to go in there. You have to hear it from her.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I have to hear it from her.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You have to settle down first.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I need to have her tell me herself. Right?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Okay. Okay. Yes.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I need to have her say...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, but you have to calm...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I need to say, "What the hell is that? What the hell is that?"</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Okay. Look at this, look at this. Baby picture.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No, God! No, no, oh, my God!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[in baby voice] Hi, Michael, hi, Michael</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[calms down] Okay. Okay. Okay.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Gabe</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[to Andy] I talked to corporate. Turns out there have been 12 reports of faulty printers. Out of 400,000. [smiles] We've investigated. Every time it's been user error. They block the vents or something, I don't know. That's why we have the fine print. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. So I'd like to reward you for that. [pulls out gift card] That's god for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts. [Andy looks over at Darryl and Darryl motions for Andy to go to him]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You know what? We should really do something fun this week.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah, we should.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Wouldn't that be fun?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Yeah.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>How about Thursday?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Thursday works. Yeah, what do you wanna do?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I can't do Thursday. Book club. How about Friday?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, Friday doesn't work.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, really? 'cause I was thinking we could go to this concert. Spice Girls are opening for Weird Al. Front row. It'd be a great, great concert.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Shoot. I'm working.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh okay. Well, maybe I could stop by.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Well, won't you be at the concert?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Nope, that's Tuesday.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Oh, well, I can make it on Tuesday.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You're cheating. You're cheating on me.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>How do you know?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Pam told me. [looks up at 2nd floor windows and so does Donna; Jim, Dwight, and Pam are visible on conference room window, they all scramble as soon as Donna and Michael look up, Pam throwing herself on the floor]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Pam</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[gasps] Did she see me?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Jim</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[to Pam on floor] Nice effort.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[in old Michael Scott Paper Company's "office"] We're printing on 24-pound premium stock paper, approximately 300 sheets in. So far, no signs of distress. [Darryl is filming Andy's demonstration]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You haven't even introduced yourself.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Right. My name is Andrew Baines Bernard, and if you're watching this, it's because I've turned State's witness because I'm in danger because I know too much.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You should talk in a higher voice 'cause the camera makes you sound weird.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Higher? Okay. [speaking slightly higher] Recently certain events have come to my attention...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Higher. [motions with hand to go up more]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Make it higher? Okay.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Mm-hmm</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[high-pitched] I have come to the conclusion that the Sabre corporation...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>One more, yeah. [Again motions to go even higher]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[higher] May be overlooking certain safety regulations. At the danger... [printer starts smoking and explodes] ah! [speaking lower] It's working. [in normal voice] It's... I knew it!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>This... [removes camera headset]</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Andy</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>We are blowin' the roof off! Blowin' the roof off! [Darryl discharges fire extinguisher onto printer] Nice. Nice. This is my partner, Darryl Philbin. He's been my partner through this entire thing.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Darryl</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I don't wanna prank anymore. Things get real. It's not funny. I'm just gonna be good, stay in my room, go to church, try to do one nice thing per day. I do not wanna prank anymore.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Who is he?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>What, what do you mean?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>The other man. Who's the guy? Who is it?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Donna</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>It's you. I'm married.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Michael</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>I'm the mistress?</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>[on workout bicycle at gym] Okay, everybody, let's take this next hill.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Gym Instructor</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Excuse me. Yeah, I'd appreciate it if you'd just let me run this.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>You know what? You had your chance. You're no leader. Out of your seat, let's blast!</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Gym instructor</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>Don't listen to him, we're approaching a cooldown down a gentle hill.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No! The hill's a trap. Let's take the dirt road off to the side.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Gym instructor</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>No, guys, no. We're just cooling down...</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Dwight</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>If they catch us, they will rape us. Go for the cliff. And three, two, one... jump! No! [points to those around him] You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. Good jump. You're barely alive. Okay, now nice cooldown. Check your pulse rate.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
<Scene>
|
|
<Quote>
|
|
<Speaker>Description</Speaker>
|
|
<Text>In memory of Larry Einhorn.</Text>
|
|
</Quote>
|
|
</Scene>
|
|
</SceneList>
|