the-office/public/json/06/19.json

{"title": "Happy Hour", "description": "Oscar gets everybody in the office to go to Happy Hour so that he can hit on a coworker in shipping. Pam tries to set up Michael with a friend at the bar, but Michael's alter ego, \"Date Mike,\" threatens to spoil the entire evening. ", "characters": {"michael": {"name": "Michael Scott", "appearances": 74}, "andy": {"name": "Andy Bernard", "appearances": 35}, "dwight": {"name": "Dwight Schrute", "appearances": 34}, "jim": {"name": "Jim Halpert", "appearances": 33}, "pam": {"name": "Pam Beasley", "appearances": 31}, "oscar": {"name": "Oscar Gutierrez", "appearances": 20}, "angela": {"name": "Angela Martin", "appearances": 17}, "erin": {"name": "Erin Hannon", "appearances": 16}, "darryl": {"name": "Darryl Philbin", "appearances": 10}, "kevin": {"name": "Kevin Malone", "appearances": 7}, "phyllis": {"name": "Phyllis Lapin", "appearances": 6}, "ryan": {"name": "Ryan Howard", "appearances": 5}, "kelly": {"name": "Kelly Kapoor", "appearances": 4}, "hide": {"name": "Hide", "appearances": 2}, "meredith": {"name": "Meredith Palmer", "appearances": 1}, "creed": {"name": "Creed Bratton", "appearances": 1}, "stanley": {"name": "Stanley Hudson", "appearances": 1}}, "seasonNumber": 6, "episodeNumber": 19, "scenes": [{"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "[Michael grunts and strains while doing push-ups] Breathe. Work your core. Come on."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "How many is that?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Not counting the last one, 25."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Count the last one."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Ok, 25 and one girl push-up!"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Oh, new record!"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Okay."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Oh, what did you do today?"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "I made a sale."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Oh, yeah, sitting on your big fat butt. Alright, that is the number to beat."}, {"speaker": "Meredith", "text": "What do we get if we do 'em?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "My respect. [everyone returns to work] Okay, I'll make it a little more interesting. Anyone who does more than 25 push-ups -"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "And one girl push-up."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Gets to go home. [everyone starts to do push-ups] Ooh! I say 'dance,' they say 'how high?' Here we go. Oh, no. No, no, no. Butt to high. [steps on Angela] Disqualified!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Ow!"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "What do we got? Creed, disqualified."}, {"speaker": "Creed", "text": "[from desk chair] Oh, come on!"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "19. [grunts] I had a really hard work out this morning."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "[Stanley straining and breathing heavily] Oh, wow, that is adorable!"}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "Ten..."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Yeah, I'm betting one more."}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "Eleven, wow!"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Good."}, {"speaker": "Everyone", "text": "[chanting] Stan-ley! Stan-ley! Stan-ley..."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Alright, alright. [chanting continues]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Essentially, what we have here is one of those stories where a mother lifts a car to save her baby."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Well, it's not exactly fair. He's got all of his weight that's helping him go down."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "25. Yeah! Come on, you can do it!"}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "One more, one more! [cheers and applause]"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "You okay? You okay, Stanley?"}, {"speaker": "Stanley", "text": "Excuse me."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Wow. [applause]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Hey. Matt, right?"}, {"speaker": "Matt", "text": "Hey, Oscar. You're here early."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "I always come in at 7."}, {"speaker": "Warehouse Guy", "text": "No, you don't."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Well... Hey, uh, are you doing anything later tonight?"}, {"speaker": "Matt", "text": "I don't know. I'm free. If you hear of anything going on, let me know."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Yeah."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Yeah, we talked this morning and we talked at Christmas. So, a little momentum there. [tries to open door, locked] Just a couple of hours to kill before work."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Hey, what's up?"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Hey, nice office."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Thanks, it's cool. So..."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "You know what we haven't done in a while? Happy hour. Upstairs, the warehouse, everybody just going out for a drink."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Has that ever happened? Ever?"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Didn't we? I think we did."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "You want me to invite Matt?"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Yeah, the whole gang, Matt included."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Look, just be straight with me, man. You can be gay with Matt, just be straight with me."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "So happy hour."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Happy hour. My pleasure."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "All right."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "So what do you think?"}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "Hmmm, I saw a new drink on TV I'd like to try. I'll ask Bob."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "Yeah, I love going to bars with Bob. I tend to wear something low-cut, get men to flirt with me, and Bob beats 'em up. What?"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "A bunch of us are talking about happy hour."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "I would love, love, love to go. Only problem is, Pam's at home with the baby and I think she wants a night in."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Oh, baloney."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Good one."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Ring her up."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Absolutely, I will do that right now."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Jim", "text": "I gotta tell you, this baby is amazing. She gets me out of everything. And I - and I love her. I also love her, very much."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Jim", "text": "So some of the co-workers were thinking of going out tonight, but I told them-"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "[on phone] Yes! Yes! I would love to!"}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Ha! Knew it!"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Pam", "text": "[through phone] It's been so long since I've been with adults. I am so excited to see everybody. Creed, Ryan. Oh my God, Stanley! Stanley's going to be there. Yes, oh my God!"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "I did not see this coming."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Erin, I need you to fax this and get me a confirmation, pronto. [whispering] Are you going later?"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "Sure, if you are."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Yes."}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "Talk to me that way again, and I'll cut your face off."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Whoa."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "We recently struck up a romantic relationship. And, um...  but we're kinda keeping it quiet for now 'cause it's still kind of a new thing. It's a little delicate, and we just don't want all the drama."}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "Exactly."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Yeah, cause when everyone knows- [knock on window, open blinds to Kevin giggling and making sexual gestures] That's actually pretty funny, but in general, you know."}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "Quiet."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Hey, boss man."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Yes?"}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "A bunch of us are going to get some drinks, you in?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Ladies and gentleman, it is quitting time."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "I'm sorry, I meant later."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Ok, yes. Sure."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "For happy hour?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "No, I got that."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Trying to get a head count."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "I am in."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "All right, yes! It's a deal."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "It's a deal."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Oh, hey, I invited my friend Julie."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Okay."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "I want her to meet Michael."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Why?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "They're both single, I have a sense they might-"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "You've been gone for a long time."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "It is not that. Kevin! Oh!"}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Yeah! [hugs Pam]"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Hey, how are you?"}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Oh, I missed you so much."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Aw!"}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Yeah!"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Yeah!"}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Waaah! [starts to make crying baby noises]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "When a new mom hears a baby cry, her you-know-what's fill up with you-know-what, and then her shirt gets, you know... that would be funny."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Oh, wow, I cannot believe this is happening. This is everything I dreamed. Oh, my God! [laughs]"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Easy."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "It's not a birthday, it's not a good-bye party..."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Oh, hey, Pam and I are gonna go play pool with one of her friends, and we need a fourth."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Sucks to be you."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Would you like to be our fourth?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "That would be sublime."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "All right."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "So, the guy shows me the deck he's built. And I'm like, 'I'll call this a deck if it'll make you happy, but this is just a porch without a roof.' [laughter, Oscar looks toward door] It was ridiculous man, it was like-you could maybe get two chairs on the thing. Two lawn chairs."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Hey, Michael."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Yes."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "This is my friend Julie."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Hello, how are you?"}, {"speaker": "Julie", "text": "Good. Hi."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "What is a nice girl like you hanging out with these bums for? [Julie laughs]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Julie laughs at everything."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Julie", "text": "So you work with Pam and Jim?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Oh, no, no. Pam and Jim work for me. And if they win, they are fired."}, {"speaker": "Julie", "text": "[giggles] I should hope not."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "No. No, not really. Not really, but they better not win."}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Hey."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Hey, Isabel, you made it. Oh, my goodness."}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Of course."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "You want to play pool?"}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Um, I'm gonna do a lap. See if I know anyone."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Ok."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Angela", "text": "And then they said the most ridiculous thing about Anderson Cooper, which I do not have the decency to repeat, but trust me when I tell you that-"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Hold that thought. Well, well, well. If it isn't Isabel."}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Mm-hmm."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "A girl like me is why a guy like you comes to a place like this."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Ooh, I love repartee."}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Do you?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Usually means there's a battle scene coming."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "So, what do you do?"}, {"speaker": "Julie", "text": "I am an ESL teacher."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Really?"}, {"speaker": "Julie", "text": "Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "See, I didn't think you could teach that. I thought that was something you were born with. What am I thinking right now?"}, {"speaker": "Julie", "text": "Are you thinking that I said 'ESP?'"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Yes. I feel like an idiot. Awesome."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Julie", "text": "I was a little nervous when Pam told me he was her boss, but he doesn't act like a boss at all. If I had a boss like that, we'd never get anything done."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Jim", "text": "So what do you think?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "About what?"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "About Julie?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "She's nice."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "So you like her?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Uh, yeah, sure."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "So Pam was right?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "About what?"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "About you two hitting it off."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "[removing tie] Well, apparently, Michael Scott is on a date. And that, that my friend, changes everything. [puts on backwards golf cap]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Hide", "text": "My brother, good head, bad heart. Good head, bad heart."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "I know."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Hey, Michael, where have you been? [Michael shoots pool ball up into their faces]"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Hey, you're supposed to hit the white ball first, buddy. Nice one. Can I talk to you for a sec? All right. Everything ok?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Why are you wearing a hat now?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Guys, come on, I'm on a date. Let me do my thang."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Hi, I'm date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning? [tries to wink]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Jim", "text": "You want to just make a run for it?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Maybe."}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Waaaah! [Kevin fake-cries into Pam's chest] Waaaaah! Mommy!"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "What is happening?"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Whoa! What is crackin?"}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Guys, one second. [on dance videogame]"}, {"speaker": "Kelly", "text": "We're focusing, we're focusing, we can't talk."}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "What's this game?"}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "One second."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Yeah, how do you play?"}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Guys, guys, guys, please. [game ends] Ok, all right, it's all yours now."}, {"speaker": "Kelly", "text": "Only three tickets."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "If we save 'em up, we can get more than a sticker this time."}, {"speaker": "Kelly", "text": "Stop telling me how to spend my tickets."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "I know, but you wanted the big thing."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Wow, can you imagine what people would say if they saw us dancing together?"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "Oh I know."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "They'd be like, 'what's up with those two?'"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "'Hey, guys, get a bedroom already.'"}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "'Did we miss the wedding?' Um, I got it-I'll do this, and you play the racing game, and then we'll switch."}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "Yes, okay. Yeah, that's smart."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "No drama. Ok."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Oh, air hockey, basketball, we could play that. Oh, whack-a-mole."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Any brothers or sisters?"}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Three brothers."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Really?"}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Two are in the Marines, one's a cop."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Vegetarian?"}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "No. I love meat."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "What's your blood type?"}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "O-negative. Universal donor."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Universal donor. [startled by Angela, curses]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Angela versus Isabel. Height, advantage Isabel. Birthing hips, advantage Isabel. Remaining child-bearing years, advantage Isabel. Legal obligation, advantage Angela."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Hey, guys, guys, guys. [steals a cherry from waitress passing buy] Watch this. Ready?"}, {"speaker": "Julie", "text": "What are you doing?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "I'm tying a knot in the stem with my tongue."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Michael, you don't have to do this."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "[choking] Wow. Oh, wow, that was close."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "Hey, you two having fun?"}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Did you tell them?"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "No."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "This is exactly what I don't want, the drama. I don't want the drama!"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "I get it."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "[Isabel and Dwight playing whack-a-mole] You are amazing at this. How did you get so good?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Whacking moles. Hit 'em on the head. Whack. Say it with me."}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Whack!"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Extend the fingers more."}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Whack!"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Good."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "This looks like a hoot."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Hey, monkey, how you doing?"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Whack."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Listen, can I talk to you for a second?"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Okay."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Look, I've been thinking. We had a good run. We really did. But you don't need to worry about this whole contract thing anymore."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "It's no worry."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "It's just that we both-we want different things. You know, I want a big family."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "I could see enjoying that."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "No, no, no, no. I want a big family. Tall. Thick. A big, physically big family. Listen, you go have fun. You're off the hook."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "But we signed the contract."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Dissolved. Don't worry, you're free. Okay? Okay. See you later."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "We both-you didn't dup-"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Jim", "text": "[Michael playing air guitar on pool table] Wow. Maybe we should tell her that he's not normally like this."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Maybe it should come from a man."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Maybe it should come from a note... with flowers...tomorrow."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Hello."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Hello."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Hi."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Hi."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "You wanna pay 400 bucks to re-felt this table?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Yeah, why don't you send the bill to 23 I Don't Care Lane, Scranton, Pennsylvania?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Hey, Michael, why don't you just get down."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Hey, she can tell I'm on a date, right? Right? I'm just having fun."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Ted, are we having fun?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Really? You told on me. That's lame."}, {"speaker": "Bouncer", "text": "We got a problem?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Yes. Homelessness. What?"}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "All right, go."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Where?"}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Get out. Now."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Okay, all right. Okay, whoa. I'm just kidding around. I'm sorry."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Ok, um, why don't we just finish the game? Michael, it's your shot."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "She can't talk to us that way."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "You guys are stripes, I think..."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "You let somebody talk to you like that, where does it stop?"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "It stopped."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Well, I am starting it again!"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Do you guys want some food? The wings are really good here."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Hey, you embarrassed my friends in front of me and I'm gonna need you to go back over to the table and apologize."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Then I am sorry that I didn't kick you out."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "I am here with my employees. I am here on a date. Hello."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Well, uh, I'm the manager here, sir."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Well, it just so happens that I am a manager too. And the way I manage people is that I touch their hearts and souls with humor, with love and maybe a dash of razzle-dazzle. And I don't see that from you."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Is that how you do it?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Yes it is. I am writing a book about it."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Really? How much have you written?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "I've written all of it... in my head."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Oh."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "If you're really interested, it's called 'Somehow I Manage' and there's going to be a picture of me on the cover, shrugging, with my sleeves rolled up."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Huh. Have you read Lee Iacocca's? It's a classic."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Read it? I own it. But no, I have not read it."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Dude, tonight! You're not going to want to put it down. It's gonna make you want to go out and buy a Chrysler tomorrow."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "I own a Chrysler."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Shut up."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "No, you shut up."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "What's your drink?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Grenadine."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "What?"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "We just have to throw everyone off the scent a little, so follow my lead."}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "Okay."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "[Andy sits at table with another woman] Hi."}, {"speaker": "Girl at Table", "text": "Hi."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "I don't normally do this, but..."}, {"speaker": "Girl at Table", "text": "Do what?"}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Just sit down next to a beautiful woman and start talking to myself to confuse other people."}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "[Erin sits with man, rubs her hand on his thigh] Hey, big boy. Do you like it when I do that?"}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "[Andy spits out his drink] What are you doing?"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "What we said to do."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "We didn't say we were gonna, like, start groping strangers!"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "I was flirting with a man."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Get in here. [Andy and Erin go into photo booth] Where did you learn to talk like that?"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "The movies. I don't know."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Well, what movie? Black Snake Moan?"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "I manage a paper company-Dunder Mifflin/Sabre."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "You have a card?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "I did. I actually put it in your bowl."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Stanley Hudson?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "No, no."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Whoa, a lot of Stanley Hudson's in here."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "No, it's Michael Scott."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "Michael Scott?"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "He is I."}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "You just won yourself a lunch."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Oh, hey guys. [thumbs up]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Julie", "text": "I think I'm gonna go."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Really?"}, {"speaker": "Julie", "text": "Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "I'm sorry, he's not usually like that."}, {"speaker": "Julie", "text": "What's he usually like?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "He's more, just... like... you can go."}, {"speaker": "Julie", "text": "Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "All right."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Okay. Bye."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "See ya. Nice girl."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Yeah."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Hey, Julie! You having fun? [Julie leaves]"}, {"speaker": "Bar Manager", "text": "So... when are you coming in for that free lunch? You're gonna want to come in on a day that I'm working. Uh, maybe I can hear more about that book, too."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Hey, man, you put together a pretty fun night for everybody. I saw you talking to Hide. Did you hear that dude's life story? It's amazing, right?"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "I couldn't understand a word he said."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Let me tell you something, Oscar. All right, Matt's an okay dude, but he's a dummy. You guys got nothing in common."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Maybe you're right. I should count myself lucky."}, {"speaker": "Matt", "text": "Hey, what's up?"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "There he is! Hey, hey, hey."}, {"speaker": "Matt", "text": "Anyone up for some hoops?"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Sure. Hoops!"}, {"speaker": "Matt", "text": "Let's do it."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Hoop it up, right."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "This is not what I want my relationship to look like. [holding photo strip of he and Erin fighting]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "[over PA] Hi, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Andrew Bernard, and I've been on two dates with Erin Hannon and they went well, and there will probably be more. Thank you."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "You know, it got to the point where keeping it a secret was just too much drama. And I hate drama, so there you go."}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "[laughs] You love drama."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "I know, I do, right? I'm a total drama queen."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "With this move, he can't get you."}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Well, I think that he could counter that move. The Scranton strangler is a professional strangler."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Oh, please. I wish he'd come after me.  I would be like-aaah!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Dwight Schrute! Dwight Kurt Schrute."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Sh-what?"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "You are hereby served with a summons to appear in Lackawanna county court."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "No, no, no. [trying to talk over her] Blah blah blah blah!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "For breach of contract with Angela Noelle Martin."}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "What are you talking about?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "What are you-"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Dwight recently entered into a contract with me, establishing intent to conceive and raise a child with me."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Angela..."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Did he not tell you that?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "You're really putting me in an awkward position here."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Do you plan on raising a child with me? Or do you plan on breaking this contract?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Angela, not here!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Dwight?"}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Whack! [Isabel smacks Angela on forehead]"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "You'll see me in small claims court!"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "You are an impressive specimen."}, {"speaker": "Isabel", "text": "Thank you. [Dwight and Isabel kiss]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Kelly", "text": "[crying] Then, I spilled my drink, and they wouldn't give me a refill."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Oh-oh, gosh. Oh."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "You all right?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Okay, we have to get home."}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Yeah!"}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "Halperts, wait up. Oh, what a great night. Got to hang out with my peeps. Sort of did okay with a new young lady."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Actually, you didn't."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Not at all."}, {"speaker": "Michael", "text": "I think I did. But I can't take all of the credit. Some of the credit is due, in fact, to my good friend, Date Mike. Nice to meet me."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Tell 'em your story, Hide."}, {"speaker": "Hide", "text": "In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No English,  no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!"}]}]}