the-office/public/json/09/18.json

{"title": "Promos", "description": "The release of the documentary promos creates tension for the Dunder Mifflin employees, Dwight considers a business venture with his girlfriend's family, and Jim and Darryl have an awkward business meeting with baseball player Ryan Howard. ", "characters": {"pam": {"name": "Pam Beasley", "appearances": 42}, "dwight": {"name": "Dwight Schrute", "appearances": 37}, "angela": {"name": "Angela Martin", "appearances": 33}, "jim": {"name": "Jim Halpert", "appearances": 31}, "oscar": {"name": "Oscar Gutierrez", "appearances": 30}, "brian": {"name": "brian", "appearances": 23}, "ryan": {"name": "Ryan Howard", "appearances": 17}, "darryl": {"name": "Darryl Philbin", "appearances": 12}, "andy": {"name": "Andy Bernard", "appearances": 11}, "kevin": {"name": "Kevin Malone", "appearances": 9}, "esther": {"name": "esther", "appearances": 8}, "phyllis": {"name": "Phyllis Lapin", "appearances": 6}, "stanley": {"name": "Stanley Hudson", "appearances": 5}, "nellie": {"name": "Nellie Bertram", "appearances": 4}, "meredith": {"name": "Meredith Palmer", "appearances": 3}, "erin": {"name": "Erin Hannon", "appearances": 3}, "toby": {"name": "Toby Flenderson", "appearances": 2}, "senator-lipton": {"name": "Senator Lipton", "appearances": 1}}, "season_number": 9, "episode_number": 18, "scenes": [{"quotes": [{"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Uh oh. She's doing it again."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Phyllis has gotten into audio books and lately she's been listening to 50 Shades of Grey.  Which, if you don't know what it is, it's a book about um..."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "It's porn."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Yeah."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "[Phyllis rocks her chair into his provocatively] Seriously. Ugh. Ok, this is unacceptable. It's officially a hostile work environment."}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "Why?"}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Somebody just needs to get her attention, tell her it's not OK to do this in public."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Be careful. I pulled my mom's dog off a pillow once, and I got bit."}, {"speaker": "Meredith", "text": "Just ignore her. Sooner or later she'll finish."}, {"speaker": "Group", "text": "Ugh. Ew."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "What?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Phyllis is masturbating. In the office right now as we speak."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Can we skip the color commentary and just have Andy go out there and fire her?"}, {"speaker": "Toby", "text": "He- he can't do that.  Turns out she's allowed to have feelings of sexual arousal.  It doesn't become a violation until she physically acts on it."}, {"speaker": "Group", "text": "No!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Toby, how do you propose that we-"}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Why is Phyllis so aroused?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "She's listening to 50 Shades of Grey."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Well there you go. That's muy caliente."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "OK, you are useless. I'll take care of this. [walks out of Andy's office and dumps water on Phyllis]"}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "What the hell?!"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "It's OK guys, she's no longer horny."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Excuse me, dirty birdie [takes Phyllis' iPod]"}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "Wait, what?"}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "You can have this back at the end of the day.  [cut to Andy listening to the iPod and looking aroused, water is dumped on him] Oh!!"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Clark, I need your advice. I'm having some lady troubles."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "What's her name?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Esther Ruger. [Angela makes a face in the background]"}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Sweet."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Lives on the neighboring farm. 85 acres."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Oh yeah. Keep talkin'."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Well, we've been out three times, there has been physicality but the thing is we were hanging out with her father the other night looking at a farm catalog, next thing I know he wants to lease a tractor with me."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Oh."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "[laughs] What do you think?"}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "The same thing that you think."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "A long term tractor lease is going to put pressure on a relationship."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "God, one of my buddies is going through the same thing right now. Something in the air."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Here you go. And good for you Dwight, I'm so glad you found someone. I bet she's got kind eyes."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Dwight is dating a brussel sprout farmer named Esther.  She's coming here this afternoon with her father.  Who knows? Maybe she'll be pulling the horse cart! [laughs]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Pam", "text": "[on phone] Cici has been calling me 'Pamela'. Like four times this week."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Oh man. [laughs]"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "I wonder if she'll start calling you 'Jim'."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Oh boy, please don't. Let's not let that happen."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "[laughs] Um."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "What was I gonna- What was I gonna say?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "You're- You know your assistant told me that you have a big pitch meeting today. With Ryan Howard. How did that happen?"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Not that Ryan Howard. Um, the Phillies' first baseman."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Oh, oh OK."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Yeah, yeah. Exactly."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "[sighs] Um, Ok. Well?"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Yeah. So, uh, I'll uh, talk to you later?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Yeah, sounds good. Ok."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Ok great."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Ok."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Bye."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Bye."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "[Meredith laughs] What's going on? Oh, did Gangnam Style put out a new song?"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "There's a promo for the new documentary on the web."}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "Play it again."}, {"speaker": "Promo Voice", "text": "[Music begins, Michael Scott is shown] The boss. [Pam and Dwight are shown in episodes past] The workers. [Ryan and Michael are shown] The lives. [Jim and Pam and Dwight and Angela are shown] The loves. [More flashback clips] The people. The paper. The Office: An American Workplace. Coming soon on WVIA."}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Whoa. You go to the bathroom for 45 minutes and everything changes."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "This is a documentary? Oh, I always thought we were like specimens in a human zoo."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "[Angela is rewatching the promo and looks nervous about the part with her and Dwight] Did you see this? [lifts monitor in her direction]"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Your screen is all black. You just unplugged your computer."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Clark", "text": "[Pam smiles as she watches the promo with her and Jim on the roof] Oh my god, is that you and Jim?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Uh huh."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Jeez, you fell in love with that hair? Really? [laughs] Yikes. That is awful."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "It wasn't so bad."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Guys, are you reading the online comments? Somebody commented on my banjo playing. \"Banjo at 0:19 is aight\" Internet, calm down! I must be really connected with this guy.  I mean that's the guy's name, right? ChobbleGobbler?"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Hey man, how you doin'? Jim Halpert."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Nice to meet you. Eat Fresh."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Hey, man. Darryl."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Hey there, Ryan. Nice to meet you. Eat Fresh. [to camera] Eat Fresh."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Let's go to the conference room."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Esther's on her way up. I wonder if she wants a snack. Let's see, I know she likes apples and carrots."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "I bet she does.  I bet she'll eat them right out of your hand with those big strong teeth."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Did I tell you about her teeth?"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "Hey Dwight, you have some guests. I think they're from the forest where we harvest our paper."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Yes."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Ah, the Ruger family. Welcome."}, {"speaker": "Mr. Ruger", "text": "Fine office you have here. Sturdy walls."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Yes. Esther, you look radiant as always."}, {"speaker": "Esther", "text": "Thank you. [Dwight kisses her forehead]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Angela", "text": "I guess men find Esther attractive.  I mean if there are chubby chasers, then there are men that like that....thing."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Weird to see how we used to look in those promos. Some of us have changed so much."}, {"speaker": "Stanley", "text": "[eating soft pretzel] We've all changed."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Jim", "text": "With our firm, you'll be building equity for long after they've retired your number."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "And we all know, baseball does not last forever."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "I look at these actors on TV and I think: \"C'mon, I can do that.\""}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Right? [laughs]"}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Watch this: Eat Fresh. Now what does that make you think of?"}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Subway sandwiches."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Yep."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "How? I didn't say Subway sandwiches. It's called playing the subtext."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Wow."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "I actually wrote a screenplay, it's called \"The Big Piece\""}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Based on his nickname. Like it already. Let me guess, it's autobiographical."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Half biopic and half superhero movie.  A mild mannered professional baseball player, Ryan Howard-"}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "OK"}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "-hits a home run into outer space. Ball comes back with space dust on it, which transforms him into: The Big Piece."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "The space dust does it."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Space dust."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "I actually brought a- some copies of my script if you guys wanna read it together."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Sure, yeah. [laughs] Hollywood. [Ryan Howard pulls out 3 thick scripts] Alright."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Wow. Yeah, we gonna read it."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Ok, great."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Andy, are there documentary groupies?"}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Of course there are!"}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Of course."}, {"speaker": "Toby", "text": "A little ironic that I'm going to be kind of a TV star, because my last Chad Flendermen novel [groups groans] was based on a murdered TV star. The small screen-"}, {"speaker": "Nellie", "text": "Oh, I don't care."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Hey guys, I just found another promo. It's in Danish. I guess it's gonna start airing in Denmark."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Oh my god!"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Promo Announcer", "text": "[Speaks Danish]"}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "What was that word they said when they showed me \"Skrald mand\"? What's that mean in Danish? Cool guy? [Oscar looks it up]"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Dumpster Man."}, {"speaker": "Kevin", "text": "Cool. Superhero."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "What about me? \"Klokken tre pige\""}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "\"Three PM Girl\""}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "What? Why would they...wait a second, wait a second! What was that? [pauses on her and Dwight leaving the warehouse area where they've just had sex] Oh! I didn't know they were filming then!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "It looks like the camera man was hiding behind the shelves."}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "Wait. So they were filming all the time? Even when we didn't know it?"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Oh my god. [All look at camera horrified]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Angela", "text": "There was much more secret filming than I expected. [laughs] But I am fine with it, I mean it. I am."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Are you kidding me? It's like half the show is secret footage."}, {"speaker": "Meredith", "text": "I am a very private person. I show 'em when I wanna show 'em. Who wants a taste? [lifts shirt to flash camera] Boob sauce!"}, {"speaker": "Group", "text": "No!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Meredith!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Come on!"}, {"speaker": "Nellie", "text": "Oh my god. Do they film us at night when we're sleeping?"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Yes, Erin. They film us at night when we're sleeping. Cause that makes great TV!"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "Hey."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Oscar."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "I'm sorry sweetie. This whole thing is just freaking me out."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "I have been very honest with you guys.  In a way that could seriously impact the political career of a very good friend of mine.  You're not going to use any of that, are you?"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "People, relax! We are killing it online. Have you guys checked the comments? SmokeThatSkinwagon says: \"You guys are killing it!\" I mean, we're internet sensations guys!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "I think we need to figure out what's going on. I might just take a little walk."}, {"speaker": "Stanley", "text": "Yes, a little walk sounds like a good idea. [groups moves to warehouse and you can hear Erin whispering something]"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Ok everyone, turn off your mikes."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "We need to know more. Did their shots have sound? What exactly did they get on tape?"}, {"speaker": "Erin", "text": "I sneezed into my hands without using Purell and then dipped into the candy jar.  Did they film that?"}, {"speaker": "Nellie", "text": "My first week here I sneezed directly into the candy jar because I thought I'd get more [Angela and Oscar make disgusted faces] I thought I'd get more screen time than anyone."}, {"speaker": "Pete", "text": "Ok, Pam. Why don't you visit your buddy, the crew guy that got fired? Find out what they got."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Brian?"}, {"speaker": "Pete", "text": "Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Yeah, I guess I could."}, {"speaker": "Stanley", "text": "Hurry Pam, I need to know how much hellfire is going to rain down on me."}, {"speaker": "Phyllis", "text": "I thought Terry knew about Cynthia?"}, {"speaker": "Stanley", "text": "She does. But neither of them know about Lydia."}, {"speaker": "Group", "text": "Oh!"}, {"speaker": "Meredith", "text": "Wow."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Whoa! Whoa! OK, so what's this lever do?"}, {"speaker": "Ruger Sister #1", "text": "That manipulates the secondary shaft."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Oh, the secondary shaft. Eeeh, oooga! [laughs]"}, {"speaker": "Salesmen", "text": "The lift capacity's up at two thousand pounds. That's a lot of beets."}, {"speaker": "Mr. Ruger", "text": "Let's talk terms. If you agree to a forty sixty split on this tractor, I'll store it in one of my barns."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Mr. Ruger, are you trying to take advantage of me because I'm interested in your daughter? Fifty fifty split or no deal."}, {"speaker": "Mr. Ruger", "text": "Esther, get in the truck."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Ok ok ok, wait! You win. [shakes hands]"}, {"speaker": "Salesman", "text": "Let's get the paperwork started."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Ruger Sister #2", "text": "We should buy an auger together."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Oh, yeah. Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Ruger Sister #1", "text": "You would be a great one to buy an auger with."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Stanley", "text": "[on phone] Hello, honey? I just spoke to the TV repair man, he says we need to keep our TVs turned off for a couple of months. Something about the wiring."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Oh! Seven new comments. \"The guy at 0:19 is hawt!\" [typing] \"Hi Bongripper, it's me, Andy. The guy from 0:19, I'm glad that you enjoyed my work in that promo. I really enjoyed your comment, going to read some more comments now. Have a great day!\"[reading] \"He's not hawt, he's gay.\" [typing] \"Dear JasonJasonJason, it's me, Andy. Nice name. Not! Guess what? I'm not gay! So you are an IDIOT. And I am hawt, according to people on this site who have a brain. Never comment on this page ever again.\" [reading] \"He is hawt!\" See, thank you, that's more like it. \"He is butt.\" God dammit! I'm about to lose my FREAKING MIND! Screw you TexasPoonTappa! Uh!"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Security deposit. That's been-"}, {"speaker": "Mr. Ruger", "text": "Standard."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Right, standard."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Hey, can I talk to you for one second?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "No."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "One second."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "No."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "One second."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "I am closing a deal on a tractor with the father of a woman I plan to inseminate."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Don't do it. [takes Dwight's pen]"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "What? Don't you cap that pen. Do not cap that pen! Do not! Ugh! You capped it. Wow. You are serious. Ok, you've got two minutes and then the cap comes off."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Dude, we're being conned."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Go on."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "These chicks are way too hot to be into us.  Esther's just pretending to like you so that you'll buy her daddy a new tractor."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "No."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Yes. Her sister's trying to seduce me into buying an auger with her."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "What? Has the warranty expired on the auger you have now?"}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "I don't even know what an auger is!"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "No woman would ever want a man who doesn't know what an auger is."}, {"speaker": "Mr. Ruger", "text": "Hey, you ready to sign?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "I just need a moment to consider your offer. Excuse me. [grabs Clark]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Oh, hey!"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Hey!"}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Hi. [laughs]"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Hi, um. I'm sorry, do you have a minute? Is this a bad time?"}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "No, no, please, yeah, come on in. It's good to see you. Sorry, my place is usually not this-"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Oh my gosh, please, don't."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Yeah, no, I- actually it's always like this. [laughs] Do you want to go outside? It's a little less cluttered out there."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Sure, yeah. Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Let me grab a couple drinks."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "OK. [Goes out onto terrace] Oh wow, you have a nice view."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Alright, that's for you. [hands her beer]"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Oh, thank you."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Cheers."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Cheers."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Angela", "text": "[Plays boom box to drown out sound] Alright, how much have you revealed on camera about your relationship with the senator?"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "They caught us kissing on Halloween."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Oh! He was dressed like Ronald Reagan! [Slaps Oscar]"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Oh!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "God!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Angela! Well he kissed like Jack Kennedy!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Oh! [slaps him again] Stop it! Stop kissing him! Someone needs to call and warn him. This could ruin his career."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Well, I don't like giving him bad news."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Call him!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "You call him!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Call him! [hits Oscar]"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Stop hitting me!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Call him! Call him!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "No!"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Brian", "text": "So..."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "So.."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "What brings you by?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Well, the promo for the documentary aired today."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Oh yeah, that's right."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Yeah. It's kinda crazy."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Yeah, it is."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "See all this like old stuff, like um, there's that shot of Jim and I up on the roof?"}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Oh yeah, that was, that was a good moment."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Yeah, wasn't that neat?"}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Yeah, it was cool."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Yeah, and there's this one when we were listening to music and it's like, it's like w were in love and we didn't even know we were in love and it's...but- Do you think Jim's changed?"}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Um..."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "I'm sorry. Did that? That was out of the blue-"}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "No no, it's-"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "I just mean because you know us and you like observed us for ten years and I feel like he's- I just feel like...he's so into his work right now and....I don't know, am I crazy?"}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "No, you're not crazy."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Well, I wish that made me feel better. Listen, so everybody saw the promos and they're kinda freaking out. [Brian laughs] Cause it seems like you got a lot of private stuff on camera-"}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "You know, stuff people didn't intend for everyone to see. And they kinda want to know how much."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "They want to know how much what?"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "How much stuff you got."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Pretty much everything."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Well yeah, but what if we turned our mike packs?"}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "They've got parabolic mikes, they can pick you up a hundred yards away, so...no if you were around there, they got you."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "So we basically had no privacy for ten years."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "That's not really true, I mean-"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "Um...yeah, I gotta, I gotta go."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Oh no, hang on a second. Pam, I'm sorry, I- I- I can explain this so much better."}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "No I think you explained it."}, {"speaker": "Brian", "text": "Look, if you give me a chance I can, I- [Pam leaves] Pam."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Jim", "text": "\"Together we will win this baseball game against the evil space Yankees. Eat Fresh.\""}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "That'll pay for the exploding helicopter."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Smart."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "\"Suddenly, the evil thugs break in to the stadium.  The Big Piece hits baseballs at the evil thugs.\""}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "\"Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks.\""}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Come on man, sell it!"}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "Yeah, Jim."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "[louder] \"Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks!\""}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Yeah, that's better. A bunch of hot women go: \"Oh yeah!\""}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "\"Megan, I was too shy to tell you this when I was just a normal professional baseball player, but I love you.\""}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "\"They kiss. It is super emotional. Like in Toy Story.\""}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "Wow. I tell you what, it's really strong. I can't wait to read the rest of it later and see how it ends."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "It's so strong."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Keep reading then."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "\"Gotta go! Darth Vader's launching a huge attack.\""}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "Um another thing. I'm gonna need you to get me the rights to Darth Vader."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "I don't know how we'd go about doing that."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "We can look into it."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "We'll look into it."}, {"speaker": "Ryan", "text": "We need Darth."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "We gotta get him."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "We'll go after Darth then."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "We're gonna go get him."}, {"speaker": "Darryl", "text": "That's what we gotta do."}, {"speaker": "Jim", "text": "We're gonna get him."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Maybe you're right. Esther's a ten and the best I've ever done is Angela who's a nine and she rejected me."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "A Scranton nine, but yeah, point taken. Hey, let's go out tonight and just score a couple fours huh? I mean there are no games with fours."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Who needs a new tractor anyway? Maybe we're the kinda guys who end up with a tractor that's already been rode hard and put away muddy."}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Screw new tractors. Guys like us, we gotta plant our seed a different way."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "By hand."}, {"speaker": "Esther", "text": "Dwight, we need to talk."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "I don't know that there's anything left for us to talk about, Esther."}, {"speaker": "Esther", "text": "Look, we're gonna have the tractor for the same amount of work days but my dad is planning on leasing it to the Vanderkirk brothers on the weekends."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "No."}, {"speaker": "Esther", "text": "So you're going to be paying more, but he's putting on ten times the miles and he's pocketing a profit behind your back."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "That snake!"}, {"speaker": "Esther", "text": "You need to tell him you want a deal based on miles or he can just stick that tractor where the sun don't shine."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "That shady grove out by Willard's pond."}, {"speaker": "Esther", "text": "Mmhm."}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "So, you're fine with me not leasing the tractor? I mean, our courtship can proceed?"}, {"speaker": "Esther", "text": "Of course. [laughs] You didn't just think I was tractor bait, did you?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "[laughs] No!"}, {"speaker": "Clark", "text": "Hey Dwight, what's an auger used for?"}, {"speaker": "Dwight", "text": "Post hole digging. [points and laughs with Esther]"}, {"speaker": "Esther", "text": "Stupid."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Senator Lipton", "text": "[On speakerphone] You've reached Senator Robert Lipton, please leave a message. [beep]"}, {"speaker": "{Angela} & {Oscar}", "text": "Hi honey!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Oh you?"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "No you go. Hi honey!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Hey, Hey Robert!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "It's Angela and Oscar."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Hey."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Just a few quick things."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Um the documentary's going to be airing soon, and, and you look great in the promos."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Oh you look so handsome! Very presidential."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Very much so."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Yeah."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Absolutely."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Yeah!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Hey, I get the sense you're gonna be outed as gay."}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Yes and I cheated on you with Dwight, it looks like they got it on film. I didn't tell you about it."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "I think that's it!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "I think we're good."}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Done!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Bye!"}, {"speaker": "Oscar", "text": "Ok!"}, {"speaker": "Angela", "text": "Love you! [Oscar hangs up] God."}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Andy", "text": "[on video] Hey! TexasPoonTappa and JasonJasonJason and all the rest of you haters out there! Check this out. [plays banjo, screen types out \"you suck my nutz\" from TexasPoonTappa, camera zooms out to reveal Nellie]"}, {"speaker": "Nellie", "text": "Good night Andy."}, {"speaker": "Andy", "text": "Huh? Yeah, see ya. [sees comment] Oh! What?! [starts crying]"}]}, {"quotes": [{"speaker": "Promo Announcer", "text": "[Speaks Danish]"}, {"speaker": "Pam", "text": "I hope you got sound on everything. I'd love a DVD of that. [at computer opens translator. Types in \"Elskere\" which comes back as \"lovers\" Pam smiles]"}]}]}