Oh. Hey, champions. Erin erin Good morning. Toby toby Quater finals in an hour. Hope you got some sleep cause I am going to be haunting your nightmares tonight. Clark clark I did. I got some really good sleep. Erin erin Did you? [pushes pencil cup at Erin] Clark clark [grabs pencils out of cup quickly as cup falls] Bzzz. Erin erin Yesterday was the first round of a branch wide paper airplane contest. It was being sponsored by Weyer-Hammer Paper in an effort to get us to sell more of their new product Airstream Deluxe A4, the Cadillac of paper. It's not so easy on the environment, if you know what I mean. [whispers] Practically made of plastic. Dwight dwight We started with sixteen brave aviators. Some use skill [cut to Kevin flying paper airplane], others relied on showmanship [cut to Dwight throwing airplane at Nate with an apple on his head] others seem not to comprehend what a paper airplane is. [cut to Creed throwing a melon] And of course, there was the odd moment of heartbreak and disaster. Nellie nellie Hey I left my glasses down here somewhere. Crossing through, beep beep. [Pam's plane hit Toby in the eye] Toby toby Ow! Ow! Toby toby I didn't see you! You should have yelled "Crossing!" Pam pam [crying] I'm sorry! Toby toby Ok, so is that my spot? Pam pam We are now down to an elite eight. Well, seven and Toby. Nellie nellie [Reading from script] Be careful of that beaker, it contains dangerous acid! Andy andy It does not say dangerous. And there's no exclamation point. Darryl darryl Well I'm just trying to bring some life to it. Andy andy Last week I got an agent and uh, this week I got a movie. HRPDC chemical handling protocols. It's gonna be seen by tons of workers in the industrial chemical community. One of whom could have a cousin whose brother's Brad Pitt. And boom, next thing you know, I'm in Moneyballs Two. Andy andy Andy? Toby toby Go away, we're running lines. Andy andy You wanted to see the gooey eye. Toby toby Oh yeah. Alright, get over here. I am so freaked out by things going into eyes. I just- wow. [moves to lift Toby's eye patch] Uggggh! I can't even, I'm so freaked out by that, just go. Go go go go go. Andy andy Alright, it's getting gooier so we'll just do it later. Toby toby Yeah, Ok. [Closes door] Alright. Where were we? Andy andy Something full of acid. Darryl darryl And remember: Do not attempt to extinguish a chemical fire with water. You will only exacerbate the flame. The dangerous flame. Andy andy [claps] That was great man. Alright, I'm out of here. Darryl darryl W-w-w-wait. Stop stop stop. Don't go anywhere. I just need to find more colors. Let's do it six more times. Andy andy Hey. I just wanted to say that you woke up early with the kids and let me sleep and I really appreciate that. Jim jim Thank you. I appreciate that you appreciate that. Pam pam So, we had couple's therapy. Pam pam No shame in that. Get it all out in the open. Jim jim And we have homework. Pam pam Yes, we are supposed to look for every chance to acknowledge and appreciate each other's sacrifices. Because I need to appreciate what Pam's been doing to run the house while I'm in Philly. Jim jim And we're also supposed to speak our truths. Pam pam Mmhm. Jim jim Because if I had spoken my truth sooner about not wanting to move to Philly, then maybe we wouldn't have had this opportunity for couple's therapy. Pam pam Oh, we're supposed to call everything we don't want to do "opportunities." Jim jim Heads up everyone. If you really need something from me today, let's get it done tomorrow. Carla Fern got me a gig. Andy andy Hey! Pam pam Yeah. Andy andy Who's Carla Fern? Stanley stanley Who is Carla Fern? Well, wow. Uh, she's my agent and my drill sargent. And one of my best friends. Oh, and Oscar, I already figured it out. If I have to get emotional in the film, I'm just going to think about you getting dumped by the Senator. Andy andy Why wouldn't you use your own life? Erin just dumped you. Oscar oscar Little raw. Not cool Oscar. Andy andy But you just! Oscar oscar Not cool. Andy andy Hey. Day two. Drama in the warehouse skies. This is Robert from Weyer-Hammer Paper, who will be joining us to judge the final rounds. Nellie nellie Who's pumped for the quarter finals, huh? Robert robert I'm pumped! Dwight dwight Clark's a dead man. Erin erin Alright. Sounds like somebody wants to walk away with this. [holds up large check for $2,000] Robert robert Oh my god! Angela angela Whoa. Group group Nellie you didn't tell us we could win money. Angela angela Oh yes I did, I told you all. It was..um, cause that's an awful lot of money for me to forget. Nellie nellie Not one of us remembers you saying anything about two thousand dollars. Stanley stanley I forgot. I completely forgot. But at least now that large piece of cardboard that man was carrying around makes sense. Nellie nellie Nellie, this is a competition. Please take it seriously. Erin erin Oh please. [Dwight watches Angela folding paper airplane] Nellie nellie Me? Oh, I'm fine. I mean, sure, times are leaner now that I'm separated from the Senator. But my new studio apartment is just fine [camera shows small cluttered space with excessive cats and Phillip crying] for me.. and Phillip... and Tinky... and Crinklepuss, and Bandit 2, and Pawlick Baggins, and Lady Aragorn and their 10 kittens. Angela angela [cries] Phillip phillip Come here, come here. Let's go. Angela angela I had a chance with Dwight, but I didn't take it. And if I went back now, when I'm broke and he just inherited a farm, I'd be one of those gold-digging tramps you read about that try to bag a farmer. Angela angela I offered myself to Angela and she turned me down. If she changes her mind, the next move is hers. I'm with Esther now. She's younger than Angela, sturdier, more comfortable with the scent of a manured field. Let's be honest. When it came to manured fields, Angela was at best indifferent. Dwight dwight Oh, wide wings, interesting. Clark clark Hey. Why don't you back off?[looks at Pete]...I mean best of luck to you in the competition. Erin erin Growing up in an orphanage, you have to fight other kids. For everything. Snacks, pillows, parents. I'm kinda worried about Pete seeing that side of me. I once ripped greedy Susan's pigtail right off her head. Just for a handful of Crispix. Erin erin Are you in that paper documentary too? Carla Fern carla-fern Yep. Darryl darryl Do you need an agent? Carla Fern carla-fern No. He's- I mean, you've never acted in anything before. He's just my entourage. Andy andy I was in The Whiz in high school. Darryl darryl That's the cleaky clacker! He clicks that and then the guy says "action." Andy andy Hey, I made them get you a chair. All my clients sit. Carla Fern carla-fern Can I take your picture? Woman woman I guess it's starting. Um, yeah. Of course. Yeah sure. Tell you what. I'll put my arm around you and then I can take it- Andy andy We just need a picture of the top of your head in case we burn some of your hair off. Woman woman Got it. [lowers head to show hair, but keeps looking up just as she tries to take the picture] Andy andy No, if you could just keep it down until.. Woman woman Sorry. Andy andy OK, next up we have two creatures great and small. Kevin versus Angela. Nellie nellie Yes! Kevin kevin Hey, that is a really nice plane. You make that yourself? Dwight dwight Uh huh. Kevin kevin Well, what am I thinking? Of course you made that yourself. Cause it's in the rules that you have to fold your own plane. Dwight dwight Of course. Kevin kevin Kevin, did you make that yourself? Nellie nellie Yes. In a way. From one that I bought on Craigslist. Kevin kevin Oh man. Nellie nellie I call for a refold! Dwight dwight No. Kevin kevin Really? [to Dwight] Thank you. Angela angela This is flatter. Kevin kevin It's a piece of paper. You fold it into an airplane. Dwight dwight Ok, that's enough. This is the end of the ring now. You have to pick one. Nellie nellie I can't. I love them all too much. And, none of them fly. So that makes it harder. Kevin kevin You have to choose one now. Nellie nellie Fine. [throws plane, doesn't fly] Kevin kevin Angela advances. Nellie nellie Nice. Erin erin [clapping] Whoo! Dwight dwight Was Dwight rooting for me? Hmm. I hadn't noticed. Angela angela I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep making planes until one of them flies. Like Wilbur and Orville Redenbacher. Kevin kevin An Earl Grey tea for the lady. Jim jim Oh, thank you. I acknowledge and appreciate that you went out of your way to get me tea. Pam pam Thank you. I like being appreciated. But, to speak my truth, it wasn't out of the way because I felt like a tea anyway. So, one trip. Jim jim Well, to speak my truth, I switched to coffee in March. There's a new espresso machine. But I still acknowledge and appreciate the gesture. Pam pam We are rolling and...action! Director director [Happily] This video is to demonstrate the HPRDC chemical handling protocols. These protocols could save you from severe injury, even death. Andy andy Ok, um, stop. Um, why are you smiling so much? Producer producer Just made a character choice to be a scientist who really likes what he does and enjoys his job. Andy andy Ok, well maybe no smiling on this one. Director director So how do you want, how should I do it? Andy andy I don't know, just like you're reporting the news or something. Ok? Director director [ridiculous news voice] This video is to demonstrate the HPRDC chemical handling protocols. Andy andy Ok. Director director It's Tom Brokaw, it's a newscaster. Andy andy Who was that? Director director Tom Brokaw! Andy andy Come on Clark! Dwight dwight Come on Clark. [Clark throws plane, Erin throws plane it goes much farther] Angela angela Whoa! Dwight dwight Yeah! Oh! Eat it piggy! Eat it! Oink oink oink oink! Erin erin We've still gotta work together, so we should keep it civil. Clark clark [Snorts and grunts] I can't hear what you said. [snorting, grunting] You got your slop? [Squeals] Erin erin You know what, this is completely unnecessary. You already won... Clark clark Erin! Erin! Just stop. Pete pete What? Erin erin Relax. Pete pete Next up we have Dwight and Phyllis. Nellie nellie You can do it baby! Bob Vance bob-vance No you can't baby! [to Dwight, whispers] Good luck. Angela angela Watch and learn. Dwight dwight Wow. Erin erin Oh! Group group Dwight defeats Phyllis, Dwight you are through to the semi-finals. Nellie nellie Yes! Dwight dwight Whoo! Angela angela Oh, Esther. Dwight dwight Hey. Esther esther What are you- [Esther kisses him] You're here early. Dwight dwight Yeah, I plucked the chickens extra fast cause I knew I was seeing you tonight. There might just be a little feather in your nuggets or a little bit of meat inside of your pillow. Esther esther I like a little feather in my nuggets. [both laugh] Dwight dwight Alright ladies and gentlemen, we are down to the final four. Dwight, Erin, Angela and god only knows how, but Toby. One of you will walk away with two thousand dollars. Nellie nellie Yeah! Erin erin Ok here you have just knocked over the beaker, the chemicals splashed in your eye. Director director Which is insanely painful. Andy andy Yeah. Director director And I've already picked a few childhood memories to tap in to, to really express that pain. Andy andy That's great. So what you're gonna do then is come over here to the eye washing station and then just kinda flush out your eyes. You know, get the chemicals out. Alright? Director director So I just lean over this thing and then you'll add the water special effect later? Andy andy What water special effect? Director director Yeah, yeah just hold your lids open with one hand and let the stream bathe your eyeballs. Producer producer I'm not comfortable doing my own stunts. I'll get nude if you want me to, I'll go full Lena Dunham but I- Andy andy Dude, we don't need you to go nude, OK? So just do the eyewash, Ok? That's all we're asking. Director director Darryl, what do I do? Andy andy Hold up, I'm looking at my spit with a microscope. Darryl darryl They want me to use real water in the eye wash scene. Andy andy So? Darryl darryl I can't squirt stuff in my eyeball. I've never even used an eye dropper. Andy andy So Andy, so you know how to use this. You step on the pedal, water squirts in your eyes. Production Assistant production-assistant Carla! Carla! Andy andy It is time for a little T & A. I give you: Toby and Angela. Nellie nellie [throws plane far] Oh my god! Oh my god. Ok it's your turn. [Toby crumples plane and steps aside. Angela angela Well, Angela is the winner. Nellie nellie Yes! Angela angela [to Dwight] Is there a reason that we're excited for that little woman? Esther esther Yes. I pity her. She was recently in a situation where she could have had it all, and instead she lost everything. Dwight dwight Oh. Is she a gambler? Esther esther In a way. But not in a stand up and cheer kind of way, like the song. Dwight dwight Hmm. That is sad. Esther esther [grabs Andy by the cheeks] Andy! If you don't stick your eyes in that machine, I'm going to call every production in North Eastern Pennsylvania. You won't even make an appearance on a security camera! [Andy starts to cry] Carla Fern carla-fern What's the hold up here? Producer producer The actor's crying. Director director Oh god. Producer producer She yelled at me. I can't wash my eyeball. I can't do that. I can't. Andy andy Andy Bernard can't squirt water in his eye and act like it doesn't freak him out. But you know who can? Older Male Lab Assistant Number One. Darryl darryl Do you believe in me? Andy andy I believe I want to go home. Darryl darryl [throws plane far] Yeah! Ok! Beat that! [Erin throws plane, loses, Dwight laughs] Whoo! Ok. Dwight dwight Dammit! Dammit, god. [To Pete] Sorry. Yeah I'm fine. I'm fine. I got mad. Cause I don't like losing. I'm just gonna- Sorry I'm mad! I'm mad, I'm really mad. I wanted to win. We were gonna win a lot of money, I was gonna buy you a sweater. It's stupid. Just the whole contest is stupid. That's how it feels. Erin erin Yeah. [Erin kicks box] Whoa! Pete pete Sorry I'm mad! I don't like losing! I thought I was going to win! Erin erin Ok [tries to help her] Hey hey hey, whoa. Pete pete Sorry. Sorry. I'm going to go upstairs and just... Erin erin Oh, I made us a date to take my mom out to dinner to thank her for all that extra babysitting. Pam pam Well, you know how much I appreciate the opportunity to hang out with your mom more. So let me just put this in my calendar. Jim jim I acknowledge with gratitude that you are being kind and responsible enough to include it in your calendar. Pam pam Thank you. Your mom is a treasure. Jim jim Well, I appreciate that some opportunities can be unpleasant- [Jim's phone rings, he answers] Pam pam Hey that's work, hold on. Hey Wade, did Cole Hamels call back or what? Great. Good. Jim jim Uh, to speak my truth, I'd appreciate if you hung that up cause we were in the middle of a conversation. [Jim hangs up phone] I appreciate the sacrifice. Pam pam Ok to speak my truth, that was a little sarcastic. I think that's a little unfair. Jim jim Really? I've been putting the kids to bed by myself every night for a months. And you had to miss one phone call. Is that your truth, Jim? That's really your truth? Pam pam I guess I will swallow my truth. Jim jim Are you guys high? Because if so, to speak my truth, I would appreciate the sacrifice of including me in some hits off your kind buds. Clark clark We're not high. Pam pam I wish we'd started this exercise six months ago. My heart just feels so... blocked up. Pam pam The Mark 47 is ready for launch. [throws plane but it sticks to his hand] Less paste. Kevin kevin Here we go. Rolling and... action! Director director [doing eyewash] AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!! Andy andy And cut. We can fix the sound in post. Director director Yeah. Producer producer I can do a better one. Andy andy That's fine, we'll move on. Producer producer I said I can do a better one. Darryl... Andy andy Action! Darryl darryl [eyewashes again] AHH! AHH! AHH! Andy andy Kid can act! Carla Fern carla-fern Yeah! Yeah. Andy andy Each contestant will throw two aeroplanes. Nellie nellie After you. Dwight dwight Thank you. [plane loops up and falls at her feet] Oh god! Angela angela Angela's first throw, terrible. Dwight. Nellie nellie [fake throws and drops plane] Oh! Oh man! It slipped out of my hand, what a whiff. Ah, how'd that happen? God. [Angela smiles] Dwight dwight We want you to win. Dwight told me about your situation. It's such a pity. Use the money wisely. [Angela looks disgusted] Esther esther Alright. Dwight dwight Don't you dare tank this. [Dwight throws plane far, Angela fake throws and drops her plane] Angela angela And we have a winner. And it's Dwight. And it is everyone because this is over. Nellie nellie Two grand huh? I know a guy who can turn that into eight hundred dollars. And it's me. Creed creed [To Esther] Well, I guess you needed the money more than me huh? Use it wisely. Angela angela I was disappointed in Dwight today. He showed a weakness that was unbecoming. Even if he did do it for me. I don't need pity and I don't need charity. I have my dignity and that's enough. And as long as I have that, I'll be ok. Angela angela I know this was really weird, and it was really hard. But I think we're making progress. So I'm really sorry that I have to go but let's keep at this. Ok? Jim jim Ok. [intense moment where Jim leaves and Pam seems conflicted. She notices his umbrella and runs out to follow him] Pam pam Jim! [hands him umbrella] Pam pam Thanks. Jim jim Alright, have a good trip. Pam pam Bye. Jim jim Bye. [walks away] Pam pam Hey! [Runs after her and looks into her eyes] I... [hugs her tightly, Pam doesn't hug back] Jim jim [Flashback to Jim & Pam's wedding] Love suffers long and is kind. It is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. [Pam hugs Jim back finally] And now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. [Pam kisses Jim] Pastor pastor I love you. Pam pam I love you. Jim jim