I'm taking some time off from work--well, my other work--because we needed it. Jim jim It's great. Pam pam It's great. Jim jim The phone has been ringing off the hook. The guys in Philly are kind of going nuts. Pam pam But that doesn't matter. This does. It's the only thing that matters. We've had some really nice days together. Jim jim Nice morning, too. Pam pam Beesly! Oh, my god. Jim jim Hey. Which tie makes me look like a guy who likes sofas? My agent's putting me up for a furniture commercial. Andy andy Ah, definitely blue. Jim jim Totally, right? So, Big Tuna, what's up? Back in the small pond? Andy andy For now, yeah. I was spreading myself way too thin-- Jim jim Thin-sliced tuna. Carpaccio. Go on. Andy andy Uh, well, it took me a while, but I finally realized that I can't give 100% to two things at once you know. Jim jim Tell me about it, you know? I've been trying to act and manage this branch. Half the time I don't know if I'm wearing my stage makeup or my work makeup. Andy andy Huh. Well, you know, you can't have everything so you gotta ask yourself what makes you the happiest. You just go all in for what's most important. That's my new thing. Jim jim [noticing Angela looking very unkempt] Is everything ok? Oscar oscar No. Everything is not okay. The county took my cats. Angela angela Wait, all of them? Kevin kevin Two sacks' worth. Apparently my apartment complex has rules about how many pets are too many for a studio. And while I was out picking Phillip up from daycare, they came. They came into my house. Angela angela That's--that's awful, Angela. I'm so sorry. Oscar oscar It's the [bleep] that lives downstairs. She's this uptight, judgmental shrew. You know the type. Angela angela I've never met anyone like that. Kevin kevin And they're gone. And I have no one left. Without my cats, I am utterly and completely alone. Angela angela Angela, you still have your son. Oscar oscar I guess. Angela angela Attention, everyone. May I have your attention? There are four new deadly weapons in this office. [kicking and punching] Basher, Thrasher, Crasher and-- Dwight dwight Smasher! Jim jim Smasher? No, where'd you get that? Fireball. This morning after hours of combat with some of the city's best teenagers I earned my black belt in Goju Ryu martial arts. Dwight dwight I had to find a new dojo after sensei Ira and I parted ways. My new sensei, sensei Billy, thought I had more than enough training to take the test. Turns out, sensei Ira was a bit of a shyster. Sensei Billy says most students don't spend $150,000 over 20 years to get their black belt. Dwight dwight I would like to invite you all to my black belt ceremony, right here in the office at lunch, lunch not provided. Dwight dwight Fireball! Jim jim Ah! [throws punch] That's how it's done. Dwight dwight That's pretty good. I feel safe. Jim jim Hey, Erin. Is Andy in? David Wallace david-wallace Oh, is Andy in? Sorry, I thought you said "is Indian" and was like, "Is Indian what?" Is Indian food good? Is Indian jewelry pretty? Is Indian hair an expensive kind of wig? Yes, to all three, by the way. Erin erin Lately, I've been having a lot of trouble keeping track of Andy's calendar. His student film audition schedule is crazy hectic. Erin erin Yes, there's Andy! Andy is in. I'm a good receptionist, I know he's in. Erin erin David Walrus, in his native habitat. Andy andy Hey, Andy. Can we go in your office and talk? David Wallace david-wallace Yeah. Andy andy This isn't going to be an easy conversation. I told Andy that he was on very thin ice when he snuck away from three months to the Caribbean. Then last week he used company money to buy a top-of-the-line photo printer. In his words, "The kind that's good for head shots." And yesterday, he asked me to pay for cheek implants. Claimed it's gonna boost office morale. Now, he's a good guy. But honestly, at some point, the ice gets too thin and you fall through. And that is when you get fired. David Wallace david-wallace Andy-- David Wallace david-wallace I'm gonna stop you right there. David, this documentary is going to air in two weeks. I feel like it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pursue my dream. Andy andy Uh-huh, but-- David Wallace david-wallace Every minute that I spend here is time not spent making audition videos for reality dating, cooking or singing shows. I got a real shot here. And I'll never be able to forgive myself if I blew it because I was too focused on my stupid paper company job. No offense. Andy andy So you think you've been too focused on your job? David Wallace david-wallace At my last head shot sitting, I was so distracted wondering what I was missing at work that I came across totally manic. And I was going for zany. Andy andy So you--you want to quit Dunder Mifflin to pursue acting? David Wallace david-wallace Well, no, actually. I see no reason to limit myself to just acting. I am pursuing fame of any kind. Could be singing, could be dancing. I don't--it just... I owe it to myself and my future fans. Andy andy Uh, well, I guess I can't stand in the way of a man's dream. And it seems like you have the gift. David Wallace david-wallace Thank you, David. Andy andy There's probably no way I can talk you into staying at this point, can I? David Wallace david-wallace Nope. I have made up my mind. I'm really sorry. Andy andy Well, good luck. David Wallace david-wallace Thank you. Not gonna need it. Andy andy Okay. David Wallace david-wallace Well that kind of worked out. David Wallace david-wallace I think just anybody could be a star. My postman, the night janitor here, but Andy? No, definitely not. Charisma black hole. Creed creed Oh, Clark. I'm actually here today. Surprise! So I was wondering if I could maybe have my desk back. Jim jim Right. Yeah. But, you know, I've actually been working pretty hard here on a daily basis. So, I kind of feel like I've earned this. I mean, you know? Clark clark You totally have. You have earned this. But maybe I could be with my wife. Kind of the whole reason that I'm here. Jim jim Right. Well, I'm here to sell paper. Clark clark Wow. Pam pam All right, Jim, look, I just got made junior salesman. Right? And--and Wallace is here today. And I don't him to just think of me as a customer service rep that sits in the annex. I mean, you can get that, right? Right? And what do you need more face time with Wallace for? You trying to get a second second job here? Clark clark it's okay. You can sit in the annex. Pam pam What? Jim jim I'll come visit you. Pam pam Okay. The annex it is. I'll be sitting at your desk if that's okay with you. Jim jim That's fine with me. But be careful, it is very easy to get lost in Pete's beautiful, dead eyes. Clark clark Everyone, a little breaking news for ya. Just had a little chat with David Wallace. And, um, I'm taking a leave of absence from Dunder Mifflin, forever. Andy andy I can't say we didn't see it coming. But it's a sad day when anybody is fired. We're so sorry, Andy. Oscar oscar Uh, uh, uh, uh, Andy was not fired. David Wallace david-wallace I wasn't fired. What are you talking about? I'm fired up, yes. Guys, I'm--I'm leaving to pursue my lifelong dream of being famous. Andy andy Oh, Andy. Pam pam Yeah, so, I'll see you on the red carpet. See, that's how it works. Andy andy Andy sings beautifully. And he's really good at dancing. He's a good speaker. But there's just something there you don't want to look at. Phyllis phyllis Hey, how am I doing as your desk mate, by the way? You probably miss Clark. Jim jim Yeah, a little bit. Pete pete Oh, wow. But, um--Oh, I get that. Jim jim Oh, no, no, no. No it's cool. Pete pete I get it. Jim jim It's cool, man. I'm sure you and I will have our own thing. Pete pete Yeah. Definitely. Go Phillies, right. You don't watch baseball. I keep forgetting that. Jim jim I just think you're going into this a little fast. Darryl darryl I'm 38, Darryl, how much slower should I go? Andy andy Show business is cold. Let's say you get a job, which you probably won't. They're not gonna cut you any slack. You're meant for a job with lots and lots of slack. Darryl darryl All right. I get it. Andy andy The male is a funny species. We don't just tell each other how we feel, that's chick stuff. So instead of saying, "Hey, Andy, I love you, man. I don't want you to leave." You say something like, "Hey, Andy, you're making the worst mistake of your life. You're not talented." Well... right back at you, Darryl. Andy andy [hugs Darryl] I'm gonna miss you too. Mmm! Andy andy Andy's from the generation that thinks they should all be famous. What happened to the generation that knew you shut up, did your work, and died quietly from a heart attack? Stanley stanley Could Andy make it as an entertainer? I don't know. You know who's really funny? This bird, in the park, that can't fly right. I'd pay to see him. But I don't have to cause the park is free! Kevin kevin I will now perform the ceremonial changing of the belts. Sensei Billy sensei-billy He will now perform the ceremonial changing of the belts! Dwight dwight It's not a large room, I think they heard me. Sensei Billy sensei-billy Take my belt, master. I now submit to you every part of myself. [thrusts hips at Ira] Dwight dwight That's really ok. I'm mostly focused on the belt here. Sensei Billy sensei-billy Just slip it off my--Slip it off my hips. Dwight dwight Hold it--Take a step back. Take a step back. [they bow, then Dwight thrusts again] Okay, okay. I can't--I can't do this if you're gonna be thrusting like that, okay? I think we're gonna have to cut this off. Sensei Billy sensei-billy He will now perform the ceremonial cutting-off-of-the-belt. Dwight dwight Dwight has been practicing karate for years. When we were dating, I would help him with his strength training. He would strap me to his chest in a baby Bjorn made for fat children and do lunges across the farm. It felt like I was flying. Angela angela There it is. [everyone applauds] Dwight dwight Congratulations. Sensei Billy sensei-billy We did it, we did it. I love you. Dwight dwight Okay. Sensei Billy sensei-billy Thanks. I will now perform my final kata forms. You're gonna watch me right? Dwight dwight Yes, I will. [Dwight starts doing karate] Sensei Billy sensei-billy Sensei, you're not watching. Dwight dwight Yeah, I'm watching. Just do it. Sensei Billy sensei-billy Watching? Dwight dwight I'm watching. Sensei Billy sensei-billy Watch this part, okay? Dwight dwight Sensei, do you generally do house calls like this? David Wallace david-wallace Uh, you can just call me Billy. And no. No, but Dwight insisted. He wanted to receive his black belt in the place he loves most in the world. Sensei Billy sensei-billy He said that? He's an odd guy, isn't he? David Wallace david-wallace Yes. Irritating, also yes. But I gotta hand it to him, he's one of the most tenacious and determined men I've ever met. [Dwight finishes his routines and everyone applauds] Sensei Billy sensei-billy Oh! I'm am so proud of you, Schru-berry blue. Esther esther I really felt like I almost lost her, and--and nothing is worth that. Jim jim Well, I gotta tell you, Jim, a lot of guys in my circle? They wouldn't even change their golf schedule to shore up their marriage let alone their professional goals. David Wallace david-wallace Dude, there is no way that Jim is just back here to hang out with Pam. Clark clark You did not just say that! You don't know Pam. She is really cool. Dwight dwight All I'm saying is, forget about my chair. He wants the manager's chair. And I thought you wanted that job. Clark clark Yeah, I did. But I made too many mistakes. It's out of my reach now. Besides, I think Jim would be a fine manager. I'd be happy to see Jim as manager. Dwight dwight So, the reason that I called you in here is because Andy is moving on. David Wallace david-wallace Again. Jim jim Again! And I'm looking for a new manager. And with his performance this year, I have been considering Dwight. Am I crazy? David Wallace david-wallace Not at all. It should be Dwight. Jim jim You sure? David Wallace david-wallace You're gonna want to invest in a lot more liability insurance, but, uh-- Jim jim Yeah. David Wallace david-wallace Hey, if there is someone out there who loves paper more than Dwight, I definitely don't want to meet that person. Jim jim Andy, we just wondered if we could have a word. Nellie nellie It's now or never. Andy andy Well, we just had a quick question about this decision of yours. You know, to leave a stable job and pursue a career in the entertainment business. In your late 30s. With no savings to fall back on. And no real connections in that business, which can be competitive. Nellie nellie Yeah, sure. What's your question? Andy andy Our question is--it seems dumb. Kevin kevin Well, it's better than sticking around here and half-assing it, right? Andy andy Of course. But what if you were to stay here, you know, and "full-ass" it? Um, really give it a go. Be the greatest manager in the history of this branch and in that way achieve the fame and immortality that you seek. Hmm? Nellie nellie Nah. I like my plan better. Andy andy Well, Andy, your plan sucks, okay? Nobody is going to hire you ever. You're too character-y to be a lead and you're not fat enough to be a great character actor. Kevin kevin What? Andy andy No, I don't think that he can make it as an actor. But, he also can't make it as an employee in an office, so why not go nuts with it? Oscar oscar Hey, are you still in charge of office supplies? Jim jim Yes. Yeah. Pam pam I seem to have sticky not emergency where I grab it on the wrong end, and this happens. Jim jim Oh, boy. Um-- Pam pam If you could help me out, that would be-- Jim jim I could give you some beginner stickies? Pam pam Anything would help. Jim jim Here you go. Pam pam Oh, also, while you're at it, if you did have a salt packet, three tacks and some aspirin, that would be great. Oh, wow. You have that. Jim jim Mm-hmm. Pam pam Wow, that's-- Jim jim It's all yours. Pam pam You come so prepared. Aspirin. Jim jim You wanna get rid of a headache, you sit on something sharp. Any sensei will tell you that. Dwight dwight Hey, congratulations on that black belt, man. It's really great. Jim jim Thank you. So I saw you talking to Wallace earlier. Is he going to offer you the manager's job? Dwight dwight No. He was maybe thinking of you for it. Jim jim Yeah, right. I'm afraid that ship has sailed. Dwight dwight I wouldn't be too sure about that. Just saying. Jim jim Hello. Dwight dwight Well, hello. Andy andy Big day for you. Dwight dwight Big day for you. Andy andy Thank you. Dwight dwight Love the belt. Andy andy Oh, yes. Dwight dwight You know, I don't know anything about karate but I have broken a few boards in my day. Diving boards, at my family pool in Redding. I was an obese child. I never talk about that here, but Nard-dog's outta here, so letting it all hang out! Andy andy This is exciting! You're finally gonna get to go out and flap your wings. Dwight dwight Thank you, I appreciate that. 'Cause a lot of people are saying I might not make it. Andy andy Oh, I doubt you'll make it. Very few do who've tried to be a star. But, listen, you've saved up enough money to take a couple of years off to pursue your dream and have some fun, right? Dwight dwight No, I just applied for more overdraft protection. Andy andy Andy, I have nothing to gain from getting you to stay, and everything to gain from you leaving. But please, I have known you for years, I have seen you perform. Dear god, don't quit your day job. Dwight dwight [cockney accent] Nothing is impossible to him who will try. [normal] Alexander the Great, if he were cockney. Andy andy You're bad. Dwight dwight I'm gonna make it. Every person that has been on Conan has a crazy story about how they made it. Every person. Andy andy Erin. Honest Erin, cannot tell a lie. We lay together. That's something you can't take back. Andy andy So true. Is there a question, or are--what? Erin erin Will you tell me bluntly, do you think I am making a terrible mistake quitting my job to become an actor? Andy andy Bluntly? Yes. Huge mistake. Andy, honestly, I think you might become homeless. Or maybe even starve. Erin erin Thank you. [steps into conference room] Andy andy You can stay on as a salesman, Andy. David Wallace david-wallace Thank you. [leaves] Andy andy Dwight, could you come in here for a second, please? David Wallace david-wallace Say it again. Dwight dwight Will you be the new manager? David Wallace david-wallace Where? Dwight dwight Where? David Wallace david-wallace What branch? Dwight dwight Here. Scranton. [Dwight falls to his knees] Come on. Come on, Dwight. Get up. Let's go. It's good news. David Wallace david-wallace I'm sorry. I've just waited for this moment my entire life. I mean, I was interim manager once, but then I shot that gun. Dwight dwight What? David Wallace david-wallace But this isn't interim manager. No. It's Dwight K. Schrute... [pulls a business card out of his wallet] Manager. Dwight dwight Why do you already have this? David Wallace david-wallace In case Michael or Andy ever got killed in a traffic accident and there was a trade show on the same day. You will not regret this decision, David. Dwight dwight I know. David Wallace david-wallace I will never, ever let you down. Dwight dwight I know, Dwight. I know. [reaches out to shake Dwight's hand, Dwight hugs him] Okay. Okay. All righty. You're gonna do great. David Wallace david-wallace Hey. Pam pam Wow, hey. Jim jim Hi. Pam pam What's up? Jim jim Um, I have a question. Pam pam Okay. Jim jim Oh, I had a question. Pam pam Really? Jim jim I did! Pam pam Yeah, totally you did. Jim jim Super important. Pam pam I need you to stay right here while you think about it. Jim jim Okay. Pam pam All right? I'm gonna wait. Jim jim All right. I did not come back here just to see you. Pam pam I'm sure you did not. What was your question? Jim jim I don't know, but it might take me a long time to figure it out. Pam pam Well, then, I should figure out things to do while I'm waiting. Jim jim Exactly. Pam pam Hey, everybody, I changed my mind. Not leaving. I'm gonna stay on in sales. Andy andy Oh, thank god. Because sales could be your best role yet. Nellie nellie Hey, good choice, man. Seriously. Don't want to see you in a porn next year. Meredith meredith Okay. Andy andy Ooh, there's a great play about a salesman. Kevin kevin Death of a salesman. Andy andy I don't think so. Kevin kevin Sure, 'Death of a Salesman' by Arthur Miller, it's a great play about crushed dreams. Andy andy No, this one was written by Spongebob Squarepants. Kevin kevin [sits at Dwight's desk] Got any hot leads? Andy andy See, so you just push from under, and turn it around, and boom. No the staple crimps outward. Pete pete I had no idea. And here I've been stapling the same way for 20 years like a frickin' sheep. Erin erin Look who's back. Jim jim I'm back. Oh, hey, look, and now it's like a double date. Pam pam Wow. Cause, uh [gestures to him and Erin and then to Pam and Jim with sound effects] Pete pete Actually, maybe we should go on a double date some time. That'd be fun. Erin erin Yeah, we should do that for real sometime. Pam pam Well, how about Thursday? Erin erin Oh, well, Thursday's tough, because of-- Pam pam Weeknights are actually tough just because-- Jim jim They are. Pam pam That's true, yeah. Jim jim Just forget it. Forget I said anything. Erin erin Attention, everyone, just a quick announcement. Little reconfiguration to the staff. Dwight Schrute-- David Wallace david-wallace David. Can I just do one thing while you're making this announcement and then I'll never, ever do it again? Dwight dwight I don't think so. David Wallace david-wallace It's just one thing. Just let me--let me do this-- Dwight dwight Dwight, Dwight, Dwight. Come on--what I was about to say was Dwight--[phone buzzes] Oh, I'm sorry, I gotta--This'll be a second, sorry. David Wallace david-wallace Just wait and send it to voicemail. Dwight dwight Yeah. David Wallace david-wallace Come on. Come on. Dwight dwight [on phone] Then we'll get him a new set of drums. David Wallace david-wallace [climbs up on desk] Dwight Schrute is manager! [everyone cheers and applauds] Dwight dwight Brava, brava. Andy andy [from atop his desk] Creed Bratton is the new manager! [nobody responds] Creed creed What's going on? Pam pam Dwight's the new manager. He freaking did it. Kevin kevin [hugs Dwight] Congratulations, Dwight. Pam pam Pam. Dwight dwight [hugs Dwight] Congratulations, buddy. Jim jim Thank you, Jim. Dwight dwight Congrats, Dwight. Clark clark Get out of Jim's seat. Dwight dwight But I fought for this seat. Clark clark You're an annex kid. You might be bullpen, we'll see. Give it a couple of years. Scram. Dwight dwight It's nice to have you back. Pam pam So... Dwight dwight So. Jim jim I wanted to offer you a new position. Dwight dwight Let's hear it. Jim jim Assistant regional manager. Dwight dwight Nope. Can't accept that job. It's not a real job. Jim jim Jim. Dwight dwight I'll tell you what I could accept is assistant to the regional manager. That is a real job and one I'd be proud to take. Jim jim Shake on it? Done. Way to negotiate, idiot. Dwight dwight Don't get me wrong, I am definitely here for Pam. But this is an awesome added bonus. Jim jim So, all the numbers adding up? Dwight dwight Hey, I didn't get a chance to say it, but... congratulations, Dwight. Oscar oscar Thank you. Dwight dwight Yes. Congratulations. Angela angela Yeah, and Dwight, I'd like to be the first to say congratulations. Kevin kevin This is a big day for you. Angela angela Yes, it is. Carry on. Dwight dwight How did I just abandon my dreams so quickly? It's cause I had a fallback. That's the problem. When you have fallbacks, it's just easy to give up. When Cortez landed in Mexico, only way he got his men to defeat the Aztecs was by burning all of his own boats. So they could never return home. Huge dick move but very effective. I need to be that same kind of dick to myself. Andy andy Everyone! Changed my mind again. Andy andy What's it now, dream or no dream? Phyllis phyllis Uh, dream. Goin' with my dream. Gotta go all in, isn't that right, Jim? Andy andy Oh, don't look at me cause I think you're making a terrible choice. Jim jim All in! Whoo! Andy andy Toby! Hey, I changed my mind again. I am gonna leave Dunder Mifflin to pursue acting after all. Andy andy Okay, then, Andy. Toby toby Yeah, but here's the thing. I can't have good old Dunder Mifflin to fall back on or else I'll never succeed. Gotta burn those boats! So I need you to go into my file and put down that I was fired for theft and/or groping wieners. Andy andy Andy, you know I can't do that. It'd be lying. Toby toby Seriously? Andy andy Yeah, I'm-- Toby toby Come on, just do it. Andy andy I can't. Toby toby All right, fine, just know that you made me do this. [starts touching Toby's thighs] Andy andy [fending Andy off] Oh, come on. Andy, no. Toby toby God, Toby, don't--stop blocking my hand. Andy andy No, no. Toby toby This is your--you brought this on. Andy andy No, no. Andy. Toby toby Okay, all right. Groped you good. Off to Hollywood! Andy andy [answering phone] This is Angela. Oh. Hello, Miss Polodnikovski. Uh, how can I help you? Did my rent check not clear? Because I just transferred another $25 to that account. So if there's a problem it's clearly on your end. And--oh. Oh. Oh, okay. Good. Then... um... what is this about? No, no. Hey, hey! No, you are out of line Miss Polodnikovski. No, no you are. No you are! Evicted? Fine! I didn't want to live in that cesspool anyway! Listen, I get my security deposit back. Yes, I do. This is not fair! That is not fair! Well, you know what? You have so many hairs on your chin that Animal Control should've taken you away. That is very unladylike! You are disgusting! [hangs up phone] Angela angela What do you think that was about? Kevin kevin David. I lost the Scranton White Pages account. Do you have any idea how much paper that is? And I'd just like to point out, I was mad at Dwight. I did it out of spite. Andy andy We put the past behind us, though, Andy. David Wallace david-wallace What if I told you that I hate you and I hate this company? Andy andy Enough, Andy. Enough! David Wallace david-wallace Just stop forgiving me, David, please? This is my last chance to honor what is best inside myself. What if I took a dump on your new car? Andy andy Oh my god. David Wallace david-wallace Eleanor Roosevelt once said 'the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.' [clip of him flipping off David Wallace] I think she's right. [clip of David Wallace yelling at Andy to get out] I feel calm now. [clip of Andy taking a dump on a car] I feel, like, for the first time in a long time, I'm doing the right thing. Andy andy Andy. Angela angela Yeah. Andy andy What are you doing? Angela angela Uh, heavy stuff like books on the bottom. So it don't squash my knickety-knacks on top. Andy andy Yeah, okay. That's not what I mean. You don't have to leave because you said you would. Don't let pride ruin your whole life. Okay? It's not worth it. Angela angela Wow. Angela. What we had was great, and, honestly I think about it a lot too-- Andy andy Ugh. Angela angela But I just--it's in the past. And I feel like we shouldn't... Andy andy No, that's not-- Angela angela Rehash-- Andy andy No, none--No, stop. It's just-- Angela angela Exactly. Andy andy Okay. Well, have a good trip. Good luck, Andy. Angela angela Thanks, Angela. You too. Andy andy Thanks. Angela angela A-bridge, a-burnt. No turning back now. Everybody, Lorelai and I would like to say thank you and goodbye the only way we know how. Andy andy Oh, good lord. Nellie nellie Can't you just leave? Stanley stanley You know, Andy, you could just say a really nice goodbye. Jim jim Tuna, I'm a performer. And perform I shall. [sings 'I Will Remember You'--everyone is slightly impressed] Andy andy [whispering] You okay? Dwight dwight [crying] It's just a really nice song. Angela angela [everyone applauding] Awesome! Kevin kevin Who knows? Maybe Andy will make it. He's not terrible. Phyllis phyllis Yeah. And people worse than him make it all the time. Like Lil Romeo. Stanley stanley No, he's good. Phyllis phyllis He was good. Stanley stanley Good night, Kevin. Oscar oscar Night, Oscar. Kevin kevin Tents? Are you thinking of going camping? I thought you found nature vulgar. Oscar oscar Well, I've changed my mind. Angela angela Wait a minute. You're not thinking of living in a-- Oscar oscar Oh, god, could you just mind your own business? Angela angela Okay, I'm just gonna say this. You are not going to live in a tent. Oscar oscar Oh, god. Angela angela Come stay with me. Oscar oscar You don't want me at your place. Angela angela I do. Yes. Not forever. But until you get back on your feet. Which won't be long. It's the least I could do. Oscar oscar Well... Angela angela Separate bathrooms. Oscar oscar Thank you. Angela angela You're welcome. Let's go get Phillip. Then we'll get your stuff... Oscar oscar Okay. Angela angela And get you the hell outta that place. Oscar oscar Are you allowed to have pets? Angela angela Oh, Angela. Oscar oscar Yesterday I was just your average, ordinary paper salesman with a farm and a bunch of pipe dreams about beet fuel. Today, I leave here a regional manager with a black belt. It really is amazing how your life can change in one day. Dwight dwight You talk to Wade and Colin? Darryl darryl No, I just saw I missed their call. Why? What's up? Jim jim We got an offer on the table. Darryl darryl What kind of offer? Jim jim A buyout. Darryl darryl What? Jim jim We're in play, baby. Darryl darryl Oh, my god! Jim jim We did it! Hey, and look, the buyers wanna make sure it's not just a Philly play, so get this: they're gonna pay for us to go pitch out west. We talking Spurs, the Jazz, Cowboys. Blake Griffin, baby. Darryl darryl Wow, that is... wow. Jim jim Yeah, we did it. Darryl darryl Yeah, we did. Hey, how long--how long do we think that's gonna take? Jim jim Wade said we could do the whole country in three months. Darryl darryl Oh, man. Yeah, I can't do it. Jim jim Can't do what? Darryl darryl This, man. I can't do this to Pam. Jim jim No, no, Jim. This is different. This is everything. Darryl darryl I know. And I can't do it. Jim jim So is your place all bachelor-slobby and gross? Angela angela No, it's neat and tasteful, like most gay men's homes. The stereotype holds up. Oscar oscar I wouldn't know. I never lived with a gay guy. Angela angela Angela, you just were-- Oscar oscar [starts sobbing] I love him. Angela angela I know. I understand more than most, but we both have to move on. You--you can't-- Oscar oscar No, not the senator. I love Dwight. Angela angela