Hey, uh, can I help you out in here? Michael michael
Oh, I'm all set, thanks. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Gotcha. Good. I'd go with the rows. That's a good idea. Michael michael
Today is diversity day and someone's going to come in and talk to us about diversity. It's something that I've been pushing, that I've been wanting to push, for a long time and Corporate mandated it. And I never actually talked to Corporate about it. They kind of beat me to the punch, the bastards. But I was going to. And I think it's very important that we have this. I'm very, very excited. Michael michael
That's the thing. It's very sturdy paper and on the back it says, "100% post-consumer content." What? Hello? Uh-huh. Wait. What? I'm sorry, Mr. Decker. I think I'm losing you. [Shedder whirring] Hello? Hello? Yeah. Hold on one second. I don't know. Hold on one second. Jim jim
Do you really have to do that right now? Jim jim
Yes I do. I should have done it weeks ago actually. Dwight dwight
Mr. Decker, I'm sorry about that. What were you... Can you hold on one second? Yeah, just one second. Thanks. [Power off, silence] Hello? That's it. Perfect. So what I was saying... [Dialing tone] Hello? Thanks, Dwight. Jim jim
Retaliation. Tit for tit. Dwight dwight
That is not the expression. Jim jim
Well, it should be. Dwight dwight
This is my biggest sale of the year. They love me over there for some reason. I'm not really sure why but I make one call over there every year, just to renew their account, and that one call ends up being 25% of my commission for the whole year, so I buy a mini bottle of champagne, celebrate a little. And this year I'm pushing recycled paper on them for one percent more. I know. I'm getting cocky. Right? Jim jim
Solitaire? Jim jim
Yeah, Freecell. Pam pam
Six on seven. Jim jim
I know. I saw that. Pam pam
So then, why didn't you do it? Jim jim
I'm saving that 'cause I like it when the cards go T-ts-ts-tch-tch-tch. Pam pam
Who doesn't love that? Jim jim
Hey, Oscar! How are you doing, man? Michael michael
All right. Oscar oscar
Did you have a good weekend going there? Michael michael
It was fine. Oscar oscar
Oh yeah, I bet it was fun. [to Mr. Brown] Oh, hey! This is Oscar-- Michael michael
Martinez. Oscar oscar
Right. See? I don't even know, first-name basis! Michael michael
Great. We're all set. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Oh hey, well, diversity, everybody, let's do it. Oscar works in... here. Jim, could you wrap it up, please? Michael michael
Yeah, uh, Mr. Decker, please. Jim jim
It's diversity day, Jim. I wish every day was diversity day. Michael michael
You know what? I'm actually going to have to call you back. Thank you. Sorry about that. Jim jim
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Great. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Come on people, let's get 'em in. Get in the cards! Get in the cards! Michael michael
Thank you. Thank you very much. OK. Thanks for filling these out and I promise this'll be quick. At Diversity Today, our philosophy is about honesty and positive expectations. We believe that 99% of the problems in the workplace arise simply out of ignorance. Mr. Brown mr-brown
You know what? This is a color-free-zone here. Stanley, I don't look at you as another race. Michael michael
Uh, see this is what I'm talking about. We don't have to pretend we're color-blind. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Exactly, were not... Michael michael
That's fighting ignorance with more ignorance. Mr. Brown mr-brown
With tolerance. Michael michael
No. With more ignorance. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Ignorance. Michael michael
Right. Exactly. Uh, instead, we need to celebrate our diversity. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Let's celebrate. Michael michael
Right. OK. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Celebrate good times. Come on! Let's celebrate diversity. Right? Michael michael
Yes, exactly. Now here's what we're going to do. I've noticed that... Mr. Brown mr-brown
You know what? Here's what we're going to do. Why don't we go around and everybody... everybody say a race that you are attracted to sexually. I will go last. Go. Michael michael
I have two. White and Indian. Dwight dwight
Actually, I'd prefer not to start that way. Michael, I would love to have your permission to run this session. Can I have your permission? Mr. Brown mr-brown
Yes. Michael michael
Thank you very much. And it would also help me if you were seated. Mr. Brown mr-brown
OK. Michael michael
Thank you. OK. Now, at the start of the session, I had you all write down an incident that you found offensive in the workplace. Now, what I'm going to do is choose one and we're going to act it out. Mr. Brown mr-brown
A few of the ground rules? Dwight dwight
Hey, hey why don't you run it by me and I'll run it by him. Michael michael
OK, can we steer away from gay people? Dwight dwight
Um... Mr. Brown mr-brown
I'm sorry. It's an orientation. It's not a race. Plus a lot of other races are intolerant of gays, so...paradox. Dwight dwight
Well, we only have an hour. Mr. Brown mr-brown
I figured it would save time. Dwight dwight
OK. Why don't we just defer to Mr... Michael michael
Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Ah. Oh, right! OK. First test. I will not call you that. Michael michael
Well, it's my name. It's not a test. OK? Um, so looking through the cards, I've noticed that many of you wrote down the same incident, which is ironic, because it's the exact incident I was brought in here to respond to. Now, how many of you are familiar with the Chris Rock routine? Very good. OK. Mr. Brown mr-brown
How come Chris Rock can do a routine and everybody finds it hilarious and ground-breaking and then I go and do the exact same routine, same comedic timing, and people file a complaint to Corporate? Is it because I'm white and Chris is black? Michael michael
So we're going to reenact this with a more positive outcome. Mr. Brown mr-brown
I will play the Chris Rock guy. I would like to see someone else pull this off. Michael michael
Well, let's have someone who wasn't involved in the reenactment. Mr. Brown mr-brown
OK, I will play guy listening. Michael michael
Great. Guy listening. Ok, anyone else remember? Mr. Brown mr-brown
I remember. Kevin kevin
Great. You're the Chris Rock guy and you're guy listening. Mr. Brown mr-brown
OK. Michael michael
Kevin is a great guy. He's a great accountant. He is not much of an entertainer. Michael michael
Basically, there are two types of black people and black people are actually more racist because they hate the other type of black people. Every time the one type wants to have a good time, then the other type comes in and makes a real mess. Kevin kevin
OK. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He's ruin... He's butchering it. Could you just let me... [As Chris Rock] Every time... Every time black people want to have a good time, some ignant ass... [Bleep] I take care of my kid! Michael michael
Wait a second. Mr. Brown mr-brown
[Bleep] They always want credit for something they supPOSED to do! Michael michael
Stop it! Mr. Brown mr-brown
[As Chris Rock] What you want a cookie? Michael michael
Now, this is a simple acronym. HERO. Uh, at Diversity Today, we believe it is very easy to be a HERO. All you need are honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Excuse me, I'm sorry, but that's not all it takes to be a hero. Dwight dwight
Oh, great. Well, what is a hero to you? Mr. Brown mr-brown
A hero kills people, people that wish him harm. Dwight dwight
OK. Mr. Brown mr-brown
A hero is part-human and part-supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, or out of a disaster that must be avenged. Dwight dwight
Ok, you're thinking of a superhero. Mr. Brown mr-brown
We all have a hero in our heart. Dwight dwight
Now, I need you to take these forms. This kind of expresses the joint experience we had today. And I need you to look 'em over and sign them as kind of a group pledge. Mr. Brown mr-brown
[Clears throat] I don't think I can sign this. Michael michael
I can't leave until you do. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Well, OK, it says here that I learned something and I knew all this stuff already, so... I know, I could sign something that says that I taught something, or that I helped you teach something, so... Pam! Where is she? Pam, could we change something on this? Michael michael
Michael, can I talk to you candidly? Mr. Brown mr-brown
Sure. Michael michael
We both know that I'm here because of the comments you made. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Here's the thing. This office, I think this is very advanced in terms of... racial awareness and it's probably more advanced than you're used to. That's probably throwing you off a little bit. Michael michael
Um, it's not throwing me. I need your signature. Mr. Brown mr-brown
OK, well I know. You told me that several times. Michael michael
Yes, but you're not listening to me. Yours is the only signature I need. Mr. Brown mr-brown
OK. Michael michael
Those are my instructions from the Corporate offices to put you through this seminar for the comments that you made. The reason I made copies for everyone was so you wouldn't be embarrassed. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Well, here I am thinking that you actually cared about diversity training. And you don't. Michael michael
Don't worry about dating. Mr. Brown mr-brown
I won't. Michael michael
OK. Thank you. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Yeah, yeah. Michael michael
"I regret my actions. I regret offending my coworkers. I pledge to bring my best spirit of honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness..." Open-mindedness, is that even a word? "...into the workplace. In this way, I can truly be a hero. Signed, Daffy Duck." [Laughing] He's going to lose it when he reads that. Michael michael
Yeah, hi. Is Mr. Decker around? Oh, well, could you just have him call me after lunch? Thank you. Jim jim
"I pledge to always keep an open mind and an open heart." I do believe... in that part of the pledge I that just read. But a pledge? Come on. I mean who are we, the Girl Scouts? No. Look... the guy, "Mr. Brown," he got us halfway there. He got us talking. Well, no. I got us talking. He got us nothing. He insulted us and he abandoned us. You call that diversity training? I don't. Were there any connections between any of us? Did anyone look each other in the eye? Was there any emotion going on? No. Where was the heart? I didn't see any heart. Where was my Oprah moment? OK, get as much done as you can before lunch because, afterward, I'm going to have you all in tears. Michael michael
All right? Everybody pretty? Come on. Here we go. It's time. Let's do some good. Michael michael
Hey, we're not all going to sit in a circle Indian style are we? [Laughing] Toby toby
Get out. Michael michael
I'm sorry. Toby toby
No, this is not a joke. OK? That was offensive and lame. So double offensive. This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here. OK, let's go. Let's do it. Come on. Let's have some fun, everybody. Here we go. Take a seat. Cop a squat. And um... thanks for coming in. Um... Diversity... is the cornerstone of progress as I've always said. But don't take my word for it. Let's take a look at the tape. Michael michael
[on the tape] Hi. I'm Michael Scott. I'm in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton, Pennsylvania but I'm also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over. Abraham Lincoln once said that, "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North." And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace. Michael michael
OK. Questions? Comments? Anybody? Jim? Michael michael
Uh, is that it? Jim jim
Yes. I only had an hour to put it together but I'm going to add on to it later on. Michael michael
It was kind of hard to hear. Kevin kevin
Uh, yes. That probably had something to do with the camera work. Anybody else? Um... Michael michael
I have a customer meeting. Kelly kelly
Yeah, well, if you leave we'll only have two left. Yes. Enjoy. Absolutely. Namaste. Ok, well since I am leading this, let's get down to business and why don't I just kind of introduce myself, OK? Um. I am Michael and I am part English, Irish, German and Scottish. Sort of a virtual United Nations. But what some of you might not know is that I am also part Native American Indian. Michael michael
What part Native American? Oscar oscar
Two fifteenths. Michael michael
Two fifteenths, that fraction doesn't make any sense. Oscar oscar
Well, you know what, it's kind of hard for me to talk about it. Their suffering. So who else? Let's get this popping. Come on. Who's going? Who's going? Let's go here. Oscar, right here. You're on. Michael michael
OK, Michael, um... Both my parents were born in Mexico. Oscar oscar
Oh, yeah... Michael michael
And, uh, they moved to the United Sates a year before I was born. So I grew up in the United States. Oscar oscar
Wow. Michael michael
My parents were Mexican. Oscar oscar
Wow. That is... That is a great story. That's the American Dream right there, right? Michael michael
Thank... Yeah... Oscar oscar
Um, let me ask you, is there a term besides Mexican that you prefer? Something less offensive? Michael michael
Mexican isn't offensive. Oscar oscar
Well, it has certain connotations. Michael michael
Like what? Oscar oscar
Like... I don't... I don't know. Michael michael
What connotations, Michael? You meant something. Oscar oscar
No. Now, remember that honesty... Michael michael
I'm just curious. Oscar oscar
...empathy, respect... [Phone ringing] Jim! Jim! Michael michael
Hello? Hello? Jim jim
I have something here. I want you to take a card. Put it on your fore... Don't look at the card. I want you to take the card and put it on your forehead and... Take a card, take a card, any card. Um... And I want you to treat other people like the race that is on their forehead. OK? So everybody has a different race. Nobody knows what their race is, so... I want you to really go for it, cause this is real. You know, this isn't just an exercise. This is real life. And... I have a dream that you will really let the sparks fly. Get 'er done. Michael michael
Why? Because Martin Luther King is a hero of mine. There's this great Chris Rock bit about how streets named after Martin Luther King tend to be more violent. I'm not going to do it but it's... Michael michael
Oh this is a good one. Michael michael
Um, hi. How are you? Pam pam
Fine. How are you? Stanley stanley
Great. Pam pam
Push it. Michael michael
I admire your culture's success in America. Stanley stanley
Thank you. Pam pam
Good. Bom bom bom-bom bom. Come on Olympics of Suffering right here. Slavery versus the Holocaust. Come on. Michael michael
Who am I supposed to be? Stanley stanley
No, that was inadvertent. We didn't actually plan that. Michael michael
Lots of cultures eat rice, doesn't help me. Dwight dwight
Um... Shalom. I'd like to apply for a loan. Dwight dwight
That's nice, Dwight. Pam pam
OK, do me. Something stereotypical so I can get it really quick. Dwight dwight
OK, I like your food. Pam pam
Outback steakhouse. [Australian accent] I'm Australian, mate! Dwight dwight
Pam, come on. "I like your food." Come on stir the pot. Stir the melting pot, Pam! Let's do it. Let's get ugly. Let's get real. Michael michael
OK. If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver. Pam pam
Oh, man, am I a woman? Dwight dwight
You'll notice I didn't have anybody be an Arab. I thought that would be too explosive. No pun intended. But I just though. "Too soon for Arabs." Maybe next year. Um... You know, the ball's in their court. Michael michael
What are you watching? Jim jim
Chappelle's Show. Ryan ryan
Really? Jim jim
I downloaded it on her computer. I hope she doesn't mind. She just had a lot of extra space. Ryan ryan
No way. I think she likes this stuff. Jim jim
Great. She's cute, huh? Ryan ryan
Yeah, you know, she's engaged, but... Jim jim
Oh, no, the girl in the... sketch. Ryan ryan
Oh, yeah. She's hot. Jim jim
Hey. Kevin kevin
Hey. Angela angela
You wanna go to the beach? Kevin kevin
Sure. Angela angela
You wanna get high? Kevin kevin
No. Angela angela
I think you do, mon. Kevin kevin
Stop... Angela angela
OK. All right. No. It's good. You just need to push it. You need to go a little bit further. All right. OK. Michael michael
[Voice raised, Indian accent] Kelly, how are you? Michael michael
I just had the longest meeting. Kelly kelly
Oh! Welcome to my convenience store. Would you like some googi googi? I have some very delicious googi, googi, only 99 cents plus tax. Try my googi, googi. [Lowering voice] Try my googi, googi. [High-pitched voice] Try my googi, googi. Try my... [slap!] Michael michael
[trying not to cry] All right! All right! Yes! That was great, she gets it! Now she knows what it's like to be a minority. Michael michael
[on the phone] Mr. Decker, we didn't lose your sale today, did we? Excellent. OK. Let me just get your... what's that? No, we didn't close last time. I just need your... Oh. W-What code were you given? Oh, OK. That's actually another salesman here. I can redo it if you want to do that. Oh, he gave you a discount? No, I don't blame you. Jim jim
I just hated it when that guy was in here. Mr. Brown, if that was his real name. I mean, he had never met any of us before, and here he was telling us how to do our thing. I just wanted... I just wanted to do it our way. You know? On our own. Man I should have gotten some food. Michael michael
[Italian accent]Maybe some spagh-etti. Kevin kevin
Okay, Kevin. You can take that off that thing, OK? That would really, really have shown him up, wouldn't it? If I'd brought in some burritos or some colored greens. Or some pad Thai. I love pad Thai. Michael michael
It's collard greens. Stanley stanley
What? Michael michael
It's collard greens. Stanley stanley
That doesn't really make sense. Because you don't call them collared people, that's offensive. Hmmm... OK, well, it's after five. So... Thank you very much. Buena vista Oscar. Thank you. Good job. Oh, my man. Thank you Brazil. Nice. Michael michael
[Pam is asleep, resting her head on Jim's shoulder] Um... Hey. Jim jim
[stirs] Mmmm. Pam pam
Hey. Jim jim
Oh. Pam pam
We can go. Jim jim
Sorry. Pam pam
That's fine. Jim jim
Uh... Not a bad day. Jim jim
Thanks for filling these out. I promise this will be quick. We only have about an hour. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Yeah. I would like to see us erase 100 years of racism in an hour. Michael michael
Does this company have 100 years to erase? Mr. Brown mr-brown
No, the country. Michael michael
Oh right, more like 200 years. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Yeah, more like a 1,000. Michael michael
Okay, um. Uh, I'll try to make this quick. Mr. Brown mr-brown
I am a salesman, okay. And I don't think we should be doing this during prime sales hours. If you can prove to me that diversity is going to help my sales, I'll go elephant running with James Earl Jones. I really will, but not on spec. Dwight dwight
HERO, at Diversity Today, we believe it is very easy to be a HERO. All you need are honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness. Mr. Brown mr-brown
I just think that HERO? It's cute, but it's... It's empty, you know? It's easy. Dwight, you know what, I came up with some terms of my own. Could you put these on the board? The first one is Inclusion, New Attitudes, Color-blind... Michael michael
Oh, nice. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Expectations.... Michael michael
Good. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Thank you. Sharing... Michael michael
Great. Mr. Brown mr-brown
And tolerance. Michael michael
Beautiful. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Um, that spells incest. Pam pam
Oh, my sorry. That is not appropriate. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Well, it's not ideal but you have to give me some credit 'cause I made it into a word. Michael michael
Yeah, but it's not appropriate. This is not helpful as a memory aid. Mr. Brown mr-brown
I will give you a number of reasons why it is, actually. Okay, first, incest is bad. Racism is bad. No brainer, right? Two, incest. We're all a family, right? We're all brothers and sisters. Racial message? Um? Number three, and this is a fact. The states where they have a lot of racism are the states where they have a lot of incest. Okay? And finally... Michael michael
Okay, Michael, I just... Mr. Brown mr-brown
No, no, no, no, wait. Final one, final one this is important. The more we can encourage interracial dating as a society the further away we get from incest, literally. Michael michael
It would've been just as easy for him to spell insect. Of course, that wouldn't have made any sense either. Pam pam
Does anyone have anything else at all? Anyone besides Michael? Mr. Brown mr-brown
I have something. Ryan ryan
Yes, please. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Um, well I grew up here in Scranton and when I was a kid the guy who lived next door was a former baseball player, who actually played pro ball before the leagues were integrated. And he had the most incredible stories about... Ryan ryan
Okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry this guy's a temp and I should've told you that. Michael michael
No, no, no, no. An outsider's perspective would probably be pretty helpful. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Yeah, but no, seriously. Uh, you know, he's not a member of the full staff so, uh, Ryan you wanna just step outside? Michael michael
What do you want me to do? Ryan ryan
Well, maybe you should go down to the parking lot. You know what. Yes, go down to the parking lot and check to se if any of our guests have parked in the handicapped spots. Cool? 'Cause the handicaps get a raw deal. Oh, you know what. That ties right into New Attitudes. New attitudes about handicap people. Very important. Michael michael
I'm sorry, Michael. We're actually out of time. Mr. Brown mr-brown
Yeah, um, there's good things about Michael. He uh, uh... Yeah, definitely. Um... Pam pam
"In this way, I can truly be a hero. Signed, Daffy Duck." Michael michael
[laughing] He's going to lose it when he reads that. Doh! Hogan! Not again, Hogan! Get Col. Burkhalter on the phone! [laughing] I'm kind of a Hogan around here. And kind of, Jan is kind of Col. Burkhalter, then Dwight is Schultz. But, it's... Oh, God. We have fun. We have fun. 'Cause he's gonna be pissed. [making voice] No doubt about it. Michael michael
What you doing? Dwight dwight
Freecell. Jim jim
Solitaire is a one-player game. It can't have two players. Dwight dwight
Well, I mean. Jim jim
What's your win rate? Dwight dwight
Seventy-six percent. What's yours? Pam pam
You're not allowed to play two-player. You need to start over. Dwight dwight
You're doing fine. Pam pam
Are we going? [Dwight puts four fingers in front of the camera to start a countdown] Don't do that. Just say action when we're ready. Michael michael
Dunder Mifflin, Michael Scott, Diversity Tomorrow, take four. And action. Dwight dwight
[mumbling] Should I... turn, no. Do it again. Michael michael
Diversity Tomorrow, take five. Action. Dwight dwight
Hi. I'm Michael Scott. I'm in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton, Pennsylvania but I'm also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over. Abraham Lincoln once said that, "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North." And those are the principles... Damn it. Okay, sorry. Don't laugh; please don't laugh this time Dwight. You're... it's, it's bugging me. Let me give myself a countdown, ready? Three, two, one. Michael michael
Take six. Dwight dwight
Just let me do it! God! Three, two, one. Hi. I'm Michael Scott. I'm in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton... Keep the camera steady please! People are gonna get sea sick watching this. Ready? Three, two, one. Michael michael
Action. Dwight dwight
Don't. Please don't say anything. [sighs] Oh, God. Michael michael
And action... Lights, camera, action. Whenever you're ready. Dwight dwight
Could I count myself down please, Dwight. Three, two, one. Hi. I'm Michael Scott. I'm in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton, Pennsylvania but I'm also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over. Abraham Lincoln once said that, "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North." And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace. Michael michael
Cut. Dwight dwight
[wandering around the room during his diversity exercise] I want you to push it. I want you to push 'cause breakthroughs are right around the corner. Something's going to pop here. Something's going to pop between a party. Feel what it's like to be in someone else's skin. What does it feel like to be a different race? It feels pretty bad doesn't it. So let that come out. Michael michael
Yeah, I marched on Washington back in the day. I went to the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial, U.S. Mint, congressman talked to our class. It was pretty cool. Michael michael
Talk like you're talking to that race. I have a feeling that this could get kind of volatile. So keep it going. [camera shows Devon sitting outside with West Nile] Michael michael
Um, what's going on here? Jim jim
People treat us like the race on our forehead. And then we guess what race we are. Pam pam
Ah, good. Good luck. Doing good. [goes to the index cards and writes another race down] Jim jim
Oh, man, am I a woman? Dwight dwight
Yes, yes. Jim jim
God! Dwight dwight
How embarrassing is it? That's not fair. Here... Jim jim
It's not fair. Dwight dwight
Try this. [takes Dwight's 'Asian' race and switches it with the one he wrote] Jim jim
Thank you. Thank you very much. Dwight dwight
Go get 'em. Jim jim
Good. [clears throat] So, am I a hunter gather culture? Dwight dwight
No. Pam pam
Do I live near a harbor or an ocean? Dwight dwight
No. Pam pam
No, I'm an inland. Am I a mountainous? Dwight dwight
No. Pam pam
Am I nomadic? Dwight dwight
No. Pam pam
Okay, okay, okay, okay. I think I got this. Um, I am treated in a foreign way with a great deal of prejudice. Am I one of those tribes in Africa? The piggies, or whatever? Dwight dwight
No. Pam pam
No. But I am, I am human, right? [Pam hesitates] Dwight dwight
[Dwight's new race is 'Dwight'] I could be French. Dwight dwight
[takes his 'Dwight' race off his forehead] Damn it, Jim! That's not funny, Jim! Dwight dwight
Oh, okay. Here we go, breakthrough radar. What happened? What happened here? Michael michael
It didn't have anything to do with race. Pam pam
Okay, all right. Let's keep on track. Keep on point. Let's do it. Michael michael
One time we had an ethnic festival in Scranton. One time. Pam pam
Try my googi, googi. [Lowering voice] Try my googi, googi. [High-pitched voice] Try my googi, googi. Try my... [Kelly slaps Michael] All right! All right! Yes! That was great, she gets it! Kelly thank you. [claps] She's not here, but she gets it. That's what we have been looking for. The whole time. [trying not to cry] Oh, man. This is what I thrive on. You know? It's like Don Rickles on acid, man. Right? Michael michael
Um, why did she slap Martin Luther King? Jim jim
What, huh? Michael michael
What card was she? Pam pam
I think she wasn't wearing a card. Jim jim
It's good. This is good. We got it happening now. All right? Let's keep it rolling. Let's round it up. Michael michael