Nate Got it. [taking a group photo outside] Pam Okay let's go in. I'm freezing. Michael People, wait, wait, wait. Come back, come back. One fun one. We're gonna do a fun one. Jim One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go. Pam Okay, this is just a Christmas card from your paper supplier. No one's putting this on their fridge. Kevin Oh, I got it, you guys, how 'bout this. Michael, what if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other. The boys are like, 'why I oughta', and the girls are like, 'let's go shopping!'. Andy Let's just jump in the air! Michael That's it! That's a picture! Yes! Jump in the air. We're gonna jump in the air. Here we go. Pam Okay. Nate One, two, three. [everyone jumps at different times] Not everyone jumped. Michael Okay, everybody jump in the air this time, please. Here we go. Nate One, two, three. [everyone jumps] Still some people not jumping. Jim You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping? Dwight I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar. Phyllis I am jumping. Dwight You are? Phyllis Yes, I'm jumping. Dwight Let me see you jump. [Phyllis barely jumps] Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that. Pam I'm freezing. Nate Um, also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three'. Erin I didn't want to miss it. Andy Well, if we all jump really high, we'll be in the air longer. Do that. Oscar Here's a question nobody's asking: Pam I'm the office administrator now, which means I'm basically being paid to be head of the party planning committee. The first thing I did as head... I shut it down. At its best it was a toxic political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best it planned parties. Pam It hardly looks fake. It's so lush. Jim Why's it smell real? [Pam shows him a hidden car-freshener] Ah... good one. Michael Oh, ho, ho, ho! Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, little children! [dressed as Santa] All Merry Christmas. Michael How's everybody doing today? Erin Good. Michael How's the party coming along? Pam Great. Michael Are we over budget? Pam Nope. Michael No? Good. Did anyone get drunk already? Meredith Not yet! Michael Good for you. Angela, lay it on me. What's the problem? Angela Nothing. Should be fun. Michael So Stanley, how big is the bug up your butt today? Stanley [cheerily] Pam got those sugar-free cookies I like. I'm doing fine. Michael Alright. Well, I will be in my office making toys for the good children. Andy? Andy Yea? Michael Whatcha got? Andy All good, Santa. Michael Well, that's a relief. Santa's gonna take some much-needed free time. Alright. Good! Michael My kids are growin up. As a boss, I look at that and say great. It is exactly what a boss would hope would happen because that's what I want. That's what every boss wants is a, is a wonderful Christmas with no drama. Kelly It's present time, you guys. [all react] Happy Holidays from your friends at Sabre. Gabe We just want to say how grateful we are. Kelly Sabre is actively looking for ways to involve me as minority executive trainee. So I suggested choosing the annual Christmas gift to the employees. And they said, "Oh, yes. Perfect. Thank you, Kelly. Finally, something for you to do." Kelly It's a Hello Kitty laptop sleeve. Andy Hello Kitty's for girls. Pam Nashua got mp3 players. Phyllis Yeah, I don't even have a laptop. Kelly I wonder if these presents would be under as much scrutiny if I were white. Meredith Wow. Phyllis Oh God. Dwight Oh come on. Kelly I said, "I wonder." I didn't say, "I think." Gabe Kelly, I thought we agreed on fleece blankets. Kelly Blankets, what am I, five? Gabe Erin and I make great use of ours. Gabe Yes, Erin and I are still dating. Why do you ask me so often if we're still dating? Darryl I'll take one of those pink pouches. Darryl I feel good today. My little girl Jada? It's my turn to have her for Christmas this year. Two years ago I had her, and we had the best time. I tivoed her favorite shows, some things I've never heard of. iCarly... You know who's funny on that show? The friend with the video camera. He's got a nice way of talking. Jim Hey, it's snowing. Dwight [mocking] Oh, my God! It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate, and cuddle up with Papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams, hmm? It's not even a real snow. Look, it's a dusting. Pitiful. Jim [Jim goes outside, makes a snowball, and brings it back inside] Hey, Dwight. [Jim throws the snowball at Dwight and everyone laughs] Dwight Damn it, Jim, you cannot throw snowballs in here! Jim Well, it's not a snowball, 'cause it's only a dusting. Right? Dwight Look at that. There's a pebble in there. You coulda killed me. Phyllis Oh, don't be such a baby. Stanley Yeah, who's a little girl now? [everyone laughs] Dwight You apologize to me right now. Jim You've got something on your nose. Dwight You apologize right now. Jim No. Dwight Very well, then I challenge you to a snowball fight on the first real snow of winter. Jim You got it. Andy That sounds awesome. Can we all do it? Dwight No, Andy, it's a snowball fight. It's not fun. Go get your own thing. Beat it. [Jim continues to shake Dwight's hand] Jim, let go. Let go. Kevin Angela, are you bringing you new boyfriend to the party. Angela I wouldn't subject Robert to that. He's a very busy senator. Oscar State senator. Angela I would not expect you to know what it's like to date someone in the public arena. Oscar Who are you dating in the public arena? Angela The senator. Kevin Oh, right. The state senator. Angela We went to a picnic thrown by the Comptroller's wife. Kevin Oh, that would be impressive... if anyone knew what a comptroller was. Oscar Well... Angela Do you have any idea how many photographers there are at a ribbon-cutting ceremony. I do. Two. "Angela..." [imitates camera shooting] "over here, Angela..." [imitates camera shooting] "here. Look here!" Pam Before we kick off the party, I just want to remind everyone that an office party is just that... Michael Yeah! Pam A party. It's not an excuse to get really drunk or confront someone or have a cathartic experience of any kind. Michael Pam? Pam? Dwight Pam? Pam Wow, there are, there are questions to that. Okay. Um, you know what, no questions. Last item on the agenda, Toby would like to make an announcement. Toby Hi guys. Michael Hi. Toby Uh, I just wanted to let you know that, uh, I'll be taking a leave of absence starting next week. Michael Uh, because you've been on the Lam? Because the 'boring police' have been after you, and they finally caught up with you? Toby Uh, no, the opposite. I was actually selected to be a juror on a very high-profile case. Michael Yes, the case of the horrible red-headed sad sack. And the verdict, it was Toby. And the sentence, death. Death to Toby! Dwight Death to Toby! Toby Okay, that's hurtful talk. We've talked about that. You know, I don't interrupt your announcements. Michael You know what you, you, you leave these huge pauses in your sentences. What do you expect me to do? Phyllis What's the case, Toby? Toby Well, I really can't talk about it, but it's a very high profile case. Andy Is it criminal? Toby Yes. Andy Have we heard of it? Toby I don't know. Dwight Is it the middle school teacher who tried to turn her foreign exchange student into a sex slave? Toby Come on. Meredith Was it the post office guy who rubbed his penis all over the mail? Toby Guys, it's a really big deal. [rubs his neck] Ryan He's rubbing his neck. He's rubbing his neck! Kelly He's rubbing his neck. Ryan He's rubbing his neck. Andy Oh, Scranton Strangler! [all react] Toby I can neither confirm nor deny this. Let's just say I'll be up to my neck in jury duty. [excited outbursts] Michael That was the worst joke ever. Toby Corporate will be sending someone else to take my place for a while. Michael Okay. Okay goodbye, goodbye. Toby Uh, Holly Flax, she comes from the Nashua branch. Michael What? What? Toby Yeah, uh, she'll be starting next week. If you have any questions about the transition, just let me know. Michael Hold on, Holly's coming back here? Toby Yeah. Erin Guys, who's Holly? Michael That is a great question, Erin. How do you describe somebody who is at the same time an old friend, and was a lover, and was a complicated part of my past, and maybe, just maybe a part of my future? Erin Wow. Creed She's one sassy black lady. Michael Holly's coming back, everybody, and we have to have a party. Gabe I'm not sure the temporary replacement of an H.R. rep really warrants a party. Michael You know what, we'll postpone this party until then. This is too important. Cancel this one. Dwight get rid of the tree. Dwight Okay. Michael Cancel. We're canceling it. [Michael starts to throw away all of the food] Angela No, don't throw those out! Michael No, we have to cancel the party. Angela We can save that. Michael No, no, no, we're gonna get fresh for Holly. Fresh and new. Andy I bought these. Michael I know. Andy These cookies are fine. Michael It's not. They're not. Fresh and new. Please let go. Please let go. Pam Michael, Michael, wait we don't have, we don't have the budget for another party. Michael Well then everybody'll chip in, it'll be fine. Pam I honestly think you're idealizing people here again, Michael. I don't think that's gonna happen. Michael You know what, I'll pay for it. I'll pay for the party. It doesn't matter. This is way too important. People, Holly's coming back, and this is the most important Christmas party of my life. So back to work. Michael Man, I worked hard. I worked so hard for this! I was after corporate constantly. I emailed Joe. I wrote letters. And, know who I end up owing this to is the Scranton strangler. Thank you. Thank you, Scranton strangler. I love you! You just took one more person's breath away. Michael We have always had good Christmas parties here, as you know, but they've never been cool. [imitating Sean Connery] The name is Bond... Santa Bond. I'll have an eggnog, shaken, not stirred. Classic Brosnan. Santa... wonderful tradition. Everybody loves Santa. Everybody can't get enough of the jolly old man. But that is a myth, because you know what, he is not necessarily a big fat guy with a beard. He's not necessarily an old guy. No one knows what the real Santa Claus... God! Ow! [camera pans down to Angela pinning Michael's pants] Angela Just stop moving your calves so much while you're talking. Michael Well, this year's gonna be different. We're gonna have fun. It's not gonna be tacky. It's going to be, you know what, the food is going to be austere. It is not going to be tacky, deli platter food. It's not gonna have a big, fat, gross Santa Claus. It's gonna be cool, sleek Santa. Angela Maybe I'll bring my boyfriend. I'll invite him. Michael Okay. Sure. Angela I mean, unless there's any chance there could be press at this party. Michael You never know about the press. Angela Well, I only ask because he's a senator. Michael Could he help us with some parking tickets? Angela I don't think that's appropriate. Michael Well, then he's not a senator. Angela Yes, he is. Michael Okay. Jim Hey. Pam Hey. Jim We still doing the gifts today? [Pam nods] I mean, it is the Christmas party. Well, the classy Christmas party. Pam Yes. But don't get too excited, 'cause I didn't have a lot of time this year. Jim Me neither. Whew. Pam Okay. Pam I've been working forever on Jim's present. He always gives me the best Christmas gifts. He'll take a memory or a private joke, and he'll create something totally unique. I love them. So this year I made him something. A comic book. It stars Jimmy Halpert, a mild-mannered paper Salesman who, while riding his bike through the forest, is bitten by a radioactive bear, becomes 'bear man'. Wreaks havoc on the office. It's really good. Jim [A note is on Jim's computer that says, "It is time. Parking lot at noon." Jim nods and hands it to Dwight who burns it.] Michael Okay... [sighs] Oh, no, no, no, no! Fake tree. No, no! Pam No, it has the little... Michael Pam, no, no. Holly's coming from New Hampshire. Somebody from New Hampshire looks at that and thinks it's a burning cross. No, no. I want you to go and get a real tree. Take some money. Thank you. Bass Player Hi, I'm looking for Michael Scott. Michael Yes, that's me. Come on it. Michael [scats awkwardly] There's nothing classier than boring Jazz music. I am here to tell ya. And I made a bit of a judgment call. I hired one musician, because I thought, what's better, to hire an entire quartet for half an hour, or one bassist for the entire day? Pam Hey, uh, any volunteers to come with me to go buy a Christmas tree? Kevin I would, but I don't want to get dirty. There might be girls at the party. Pam Why do you always think that girls are gonna be at the party? No one invited girls. It's just us. Andy I will help. Although my 'brid', my hybrid, my Prius hybrid, won't fit a tree. Which is ironic, considering how many trees it saves on a daily basis. Kevin Yeah. Andy I do, however, have a hookup with a dude who has a pickup. Pam Oh, do you mean Darryl? That's a great idea. I'll ask him. Andy You know Darryl? Pam Yeah. He works here. We all know him. Andy I should come along, just 'cause he's my, you know, he's my hookup. Pam Cool. Darryl Come on, now, Justine, look... Listen, look, I've been planning this, okay? You cannot do this, Justine. Justine [on the phone] I'm not doing it! She told me she wants to have Christmas here. Darryl She did? Justine Yes. She wants to be around family for Christmas. Darryl I don't know... I thought I was enough family for my daughter. Darryl [Pam knocks on Darryl's door] Don't come in, I'm busy. [Pam opens the door] Andy It's cool, Darryl, I'm here too. Pam Hey, sorry, I really didn't want to come in. It's just that we have to go buy a new Christmas tree, and we're hoping we could borrow your truck. Darryl Uh, no. Andy Come on, it'll be fun. We could do doughnuts in the snow on the way back. Darryl No. Thank you for your interest in my truck. Pam Okay. Sorry. We'll uh, we'll leave you alone. Darryl Hey... [sighs] You know what, I could use a breath of fresh air. Let's do it. Michael When Holly gets here, I want you to be very helpful to her. Erin I've looked her up online... there's nothing about her. She's made no impression on the internet. Michael She doesn't need an internet presence, you just know. Erin Oh... Toby Hey. Michael What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the courthouse. Toby Uh, we're on recess. I came for the party. Hey, everyone. Kevin Hi, Toby. Meredith What does the strangler look like? Is he gorgeous? He looks gorgeous in the drawings. Kevin Yeah. Meredith That scowl. Toby I can't talk about it or I'll get removed from the jury. Michael And then he will come back here and replace Holly, so stop asking him questions. Toby I know people are only this excited to talk to me because of the trial. But, they talk to me for a while, and maybe people realize I have something to say. And then one day, we're just talking. Jim [standing outside, dials Dwight's cell phone] Dwight [voicemail recording] You've reached the voice mail of Dwight Kurt Schrute. Please leave... [Jim hangs up and turns for the door. It is pad locked. Jim turns as Dwight springs from a nearby snowman and pelts him with snowballs.] Dwight Ahhhhhhh!!!! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Jim Stop! Stop! Dwight Ahh! Jim Oh... oh! Dwight [grunting, shouting] Dwight I have no feeling in my fingers or penis. But I think it was worth it. Dwight [dumps the remainder of the snow in his bag on Jim, then rests his foot on Jim and raises his arms in the air] Haahh!! [runs off] Jim Um, I was laying on the ground, defenseless, and uh, he just kept throwing 'em until he exhausted himself. And, uh, [cell phone chimes] then... [reading text message] "How 'bout icing it? lol. Dwight." Holly Hi. Erin Hello. Holly Is there any way I can get a hand with these, please? Erin I'm really sorry, I can't help you. I'm waiting for my boss' pretty friend to arrive. Michael There she is. Hey. Erin, would you help her, for God's sake? Erin Oh, you're Holly! Of course. Sorry. Michael Hello. Holly [weak Clint Eastwood accent] Well, well, well, if it isn't Michael Scott. You old bastard. Michael [imitating her accent] Well, I never thought I'd see your face around these parts, you old bastard. Holly Well I did show my face around these parts, you old bastard. Michael [as Curly] Why, you're some sorta wise guy, huh? Holly [as Curly] I most certainly am. Michael Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! Holly Unnnnnnngh! Michael [as Homer] D'oh! Holly [as Marge] Oh, Homey. [they both laugh] Jim Okay... Holly's back. Michael Hi. Hi. Oh... [they hug] Holly [in monster voice] Oh, huggy monster! Michael Oh no, not the huggy monster! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! [both sigh] Wow. Well, everybody, you remember Holly. Holly Hi. Kevin Did you bring us anything from Nashua? Holly Oh, yeah. I brought um, some maple candy. But I have to admit, I got a little hungry on the drive, and I ate some of them. Michael That's adorable. Holly Would you put those out? Erin To throw out? Or put out, like, six pieces for everyone? Holly Oh, it's so nice to be back. It looks beautiful in here. Super classy. It's like a party for limousine drivers. Michael Well, you came on the day of our Christmas party. Holly Oh, it's fabulous. I love what you did. Michael Isn't it wonderful? We love it here. Don't you love it? All right, let me show you to your desk. [in a stereotyped Mexican accent] I show you to your desk. Holly [in the same accent] Watch out for my guns they're both loaded. [makes gun noises] Michael What kind of guns do you have? Six-shooter? Jim Aww... Holly It's a pea shoot... Michael This is weird. I can't believe you're here. This feels like you never left. Doesn't it? Holly Yeah, kind of. Michael Oh... Holly Oh... Michael Oh, and you have a Woody. Bah! [the both chuckle] Oh, I love toy... Holly AJ gave me that. Michael Well, that's understandable. Still raw. Woody your favorite character? Holly Mmhmm. Michael You know who my favorite character in Toy Story is? Andy's mom. Holly Why? Michael Because without Andy's mom, there's no plot. And without any plot, there is no movie. Holly That is a really good point. AJ said he hadn't seen any of the Toy Story movies. Michael You're kidding me. Ahh! Holly No. I know. I was like, "What? Are you serious?" Michael What a douche bag! Holly Get a life! Michael Get a... yeah! Good riddance. Holly We sat down and we watched them all in one day. Michael Mmhmm. Holly Now he's the biggest Toy Story fanatic ever. Michael Good for him. Holly Next day I found him in my bed. Michael Really? That's creepy. How did AJ get in your house? Holly We live together. Michael Oh, you do? Holly He had a little note pinned to him that said, "You've got a friend in me." Michael [fighting back tears] Yeah, Randy Newman's the best. Holly Yeah. I love him. Michael Me too. Andy [singing] Christmas tree, Christmas tree. Won't you be my Christmas tree. Pam Hey, how about this one? Andy Ehh, seems a little full of itself, right? Kind of a pretty boy? What if we got a really beat up one, like on Charlie Brown. And we just loved it for what it is? Pam Maybe. I mean... Darryl [on the phone] I just, no, she be talking to your mom or something. This is my daughter too, Justine! You seem to think, [Justine hangs up] oh... pick a damn tree already. Pam Um, hey, Darryl, listen, it's none of my business, but if I couldn't have Cece for Christmas, I'd be really upset too. Andy I don't have kids or anything, but if my grandmother ever dies, I'm going to kill myself. Darryl Jada don't want to spend Christmas with me. She told her mom it wasn't as much fun. And how could she say that? You know, I took her to the toy store to buy her own presents. Pam Well Darryl, no kid wants to buy their own Christmas presents. Darryl Her mom wants me to take her to mass. I guess that's something to do. Pam No, you should have her mom do the boring Christmas stuff on her time. You should be associated with the fun parts of Christmas. Darryl How do I do that? Pam Bring her to the party. Yeah, we'll have Santa, and we'll play games with her. It'll be a lot of fun. Andy Yes. Pam You'll be Mr. Christmas by the end of the night. Pam Hey guys, the tree's here. Michael Hey. Andy Nobody hug me, I'm covered in tree sap, so... Oscar Why would someone hug you? Michael Hey there, Jada. Nice to see you again. I'm Santa Claus. Welcome. Darryl Are you serious? Michael It's a sophisticated take. Jada He doesn't look like Santa Claus. Darryl No, he doesn't. [to Michael] I told her Santa would be here. Michael Yeah, well, I was told that Holly would be here, single and ready to date. And we all got misled. Pam Who told you that? Michael Nora Ephron, in every romantic comedy ever made. Phyllis So is it an open relationship? Holly Oh, God, no. Kelly Well, you're almost 40. Oh, do you not want kids? Holly Oh, I want kids. I really want kids. But AJ and I are practically engaged. We talk about spending our lives together. Kelly So where's the ring? Pam Kelly! Um, how are you adjusting to the move? Phyllis Nobody cares about that. Look, you have to make him commit, or kick his butt to the curb. Pam You guys, I don't think any of us are really qualified to be giving Holly personal advice about her love life. Erin Yeah, I mean, maybe Holly's not in any position to be shooing guys away. Erin I don't get it! I'm sorry. I just, I don't get it! Holly Okay, listen, I'm gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose by the end of this year, we're over. Pam Wow, an ultimatum. Holly Yeah. Pam It doesn't really seem like you. Kelly That is a great idea. Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself. Dwight [turns in Pam's chair with a Pam wig on and laughs maniacally] Jim Don't. Stop, Dwight! [Dwight pelts Jim with snowballs] Dwight, stop! Dwight, stop! Dwight Oh, no. Oh, no! Jim Stop! Dwight Oh, no. Yes, taste my wrath! Jim Okay. Okay. Okay. Dwight Huh? You like that? Jim Seriously! Dwight Huh? Jim Okay. Okay. [Dwight throws another snowball and laughs maniacally] Dwight Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when your gonna need to bear a passing resemblance to someone. Jim I just want it to stop. Pam So, cool right? Ryan There's no connection between the origin story and the quest. Pam Okay. Ryan We need to know who Jimmy Halpert was before he was bitten by the bear. Otherwise, it's the bear's quest. Pam Okay, well, I just sorta meant, like, cute, right? Ryan Well, did you come here for help, or did you come here for me to tell you how great it is? Pam I mean, help, if it's something simple, like add page numbers or laminate it or... Ryan Well, it sounds like you know what you want. [Pam walks away] It's also a little derivative of a serias called 'Bear Man'. Did you look that up? Pam No. Ryan Okay. Toby Oh, Jim. Hey. Jim Hey, Toby. Toby There's this female uh, uh, stenographer at the courthouse... Jim No way. Toby Who looks exactly like you. Jim That's increadible. Toby Yeah. No, it's uncanny. Jim You know what's crazy? Toby What? Jim I can't reconnect with you right now. Hold on one second. [he hurls a snowball at Dwight with a lacrosse stick, misses, and shatters a window, everyone gasps] Excuse me. [clears throat] Michael I guess there are just some people who you stay together with when you transfer, and some people you don't. And that's just the way it is. And I can be mature about that. [clip of Michael throwing Holly's Woody in the trash and pouring coffee on it] Angela It's so cold. Even with my coat on. Meredith Maybe your senator boyfriend has a blanket in his car... for screwing Americans. Gabe Yet another opportunity where a blanket would have come in handy. Holly You guys, this has to stop. Someone could have really gotten hurt. Michael What if Meredith was taking her smoking break below that window? You know what would have happened? The shards of glass would have shaved her face right off. And, yes, it might have been funny. But it also would have been incredibly tragic. Dwight I could not agree more. And just want to state for the record that I am intending to sue Jim for acute psychological distress. Jim What are you talking about? You're the one terrorizing me. Dwight With snowballs, Jim? With fluffy little snowballs? No. I thought we were just playing. Holly Dwight's right. What you did was dangerous and inappropriate. I'm really surprised at you guys. Last time I was here, you were both best friends. Michael All this arguing reminds me of a very funny story. You see this on my desk? [he holds up a toy taxi cab] Know who gave me this? My girlfriend Tara, who lives in New York City. Dwight Wait, what girlfriend? Michael I haven't told you about her. Dwight I find that unlikely. You email me when you get a new zit. Michael I'm a man in my mid-40s and I still get zits. I think that's pretty interesting. But you know what? I am not on trial here. The Scranton strangler is. So, anyway, we have this great weekend, and she drives me to the airport, and we get to JFK, but I am flying out of LaGuardia. So we laugh and laugh and laugh, and then we spend the rest of the day walking around Slo-mo, drinking latte. And at the end of the day, she gives me this, and she says, "Michael, maybe next time, you should take a cab." Holly I didn't know you had a girlfriend. Michael I do. She is. Michael Did you see her face? Well it seems to me that there is a person sitting out there in the annex that still has feelings for Michael G. Scott. And it ain't Tara. Phyllis So you went homemade this year. Pam Yup. Phyllis Yeah. Money problems, is that what this is about? I mean, oh, dear, I don't think we can help you out. Pam No, no. Jim had a great year, actually. I just wanted to get your opinion. Phyllis Are you good at homemade? Pam Look at this. Phyllis Yeah... Holly [walks in with a dirty Woody] Who did this? It's obvious to me I'm not welcome here, but somebody better tell me who did this, or else I'm leaving. Phyllis Well, I don't think Erin seems to like you. Erin That's not true. I don't know her enough to make a decision even. Michael What happened? What happened? Toby, what did you do? I think Toby's very jealous of all the attention you've been getting. Toby No, I would never ever do anything like that. But it does seem like something you would do. Michael Oh, really? Turn it on me. Well, isn't that nice? Thank you very much. Kevin Wait, wait, guys, listen. Toy Story is all about toys that come to life when people aren't looking. You don't think... it's not possible... that Woody did this to himself. Michael It is Christmas. Angela No, it really seems like something Michael would do. Michael Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Well, the fact that you would think that points to the possibility that it is probably not me. And that I have been framed. Andy Why would anyone frame you for that? Jim Okay, I'm sorry, why are we discounting this whole "Woody came to life" thing so quickly? Michael Ahhhhhh! [laughs] Surprise! It was part of the party. Pretty funny, huh? Holly You think this is funny? Michael [laughs] I don't. But someday I think we will laugh about this... when we tell our kids... Jim Yikes. [everyone gasps] Kevin Oh no, that's, that's not happening. Dwight Dear God in heaven. Michael All right. Shh. Okay, you know what? Holly, I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident. An accident borne of jealous feelings. Holly Michael, you have to let this go. I'm with someone else. I don't feel that way anymore. Michael Oh, really? You certainly seemed jealous when I told you about my fake girlfriend. That's what Jim and Dwight thought. Dwight Okay, hey, hey, hey... Jim No, fake girlfriends are always wrong. Holly You made up a fake girlfriend to see if I'd get jealous? And you destroyed a gift my boyfriend gave me? What is the matter with you? Michael When you got transferred, and I drove you up to Nashua, you said, "Michael, I love you, but I can't do this." But then, with this other guy, you don't have any problem with a long-distance relationship, do you? And you know what, that is what is the matter with me. Holly Michael, I'm sorry. Michael And we did this whole stupid party for you. Erin [blocks Holly's path] No. Holly You guys, it wasn't my fault. Kevin Oh, nothing is ever your fault! Just like when you ate those maple candies that you brought for us! Erin I really think you're better off. Michael Mmm. Erin, would you do me a favor and find my street clothes for me, please? Erin Yeah. Is she an amazing cook or something? Jim [walks over to his desk and sees a present sitting on it, reading the note] "Hey, Pickles, Merry Christmas. Open immediately. Love, Swiss Cheese." [opens the present and a snowball shoots out at him, everyone laughs] Damn it, Dwight! Dwight Didn't think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim? Let that be a lesson to you all. Stanley So do they bring in food, or do you get to go out? Toby No, they bring it in. Stanley You lucky son of a bitch. Stanley I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit in an air-conditioned room downtown, judging people while my lunch is paid for... that is the life. Jada Daddy, I'm bored. Can I read my book in your office? Darryl Sure, sweetie. Pam Jada, Darryl, I'm so glad I found you guys. A grinch stole the star from on top of the Christmas tree and is hiding it in the warehouse somewhere. You want to go help me find him? Pam Oh, my goodness. Andy I am the mean old grinch. The little girl who wishes to win back the Christmas star must first succeed at these challenges. Darryl Ohh, that sounds fun and Christmasy, you mean old grinch! Jada What kind of challenges. Andy Wahhh... Pam Something like an obstacle course, Mr. Grinch? Andy No. You must answer topical political questions. How many congressmen is the state of Pennsylvania guaranteed? And what other state has the equal number? Jada I don't know. Andy Do you know the other state? Darryl Maybe the grinch hid the Christmas star, and we could ask for clues, and he'll tell us if we're hot or cold. Andy The star has been hidden. Is the little girl hot or cold? Well, it turns out she's burning up because the star is right behind her ear! [pulls star from coat and pretends to find it behind Jada's ear] Darryl And the game's over seconds later. Angela I'm so glad you could come. Robert It's nice. I know. Angela Hey everybody, this is my boyfriend, Senator Robert Lipton. Robert Hi. Oscar Senator, it's an honor. I'm Angela's friend Oscar. Robert Oscar. A pleasure. Oscar Robert seems great. He's very handsome, firm handshake, he's gay, good sense of humor. AJ Hi. Erin Hello. AJ I'm, uh, I'm AJ. I'm here to see Holly. It's kind of a surprise. Erin I know who you are, and I think you should go. Kevin I bet you didn't even bring us anything, did you? AJ Was I supposed to bring you guys something? Holly What? AJ! AJ Surprise. Holly What are you doing here? Oh, my God. AJ I wanted to see you. How are you? Holly Wow! Nice. AJ Oh, God, you look great. Holly Oh... when did you get here? AJ Just now. Michael Hey AJ Just now. Hey, Michael. Michael Nice to see you again, AJ. Welcome. AJ Pleased to see you. Thank you. Michael Good trip down? AJ Yeah, it was great. Michael Good, good. Good to see you. Have fun. Enjoy the partay. Michael I am dead inside. Darryl What do you want, baby? We got some granola, got some cupcakes, chips, apples, pies... Jada You have a whole room of vending machines? Creed [chuckles] I know. Isn't it something? Jada I can't decide what I want. Darrly [handing out vending machine items to everyone] Merry Christmas. Jada Merry Christmas. Pam Thank you. Jada And Merry Christmas. Meredith Thank you. Jada And Merry Christ... mas. Robert Thank you so much. Jada Merry Christmas. And Merry Christmas. Oscar Merry Christmas to you. Jada Merry Christmas. Bass Player Oh, thank you. Kevin [Oscar unwraps a pair of Uggs] For your feet! Ryan [holding a knitted iPad case] It's amazing. It's so great. Thank you. Creed [Angela hands Creed a pack of deodorant] For me? Angela Yes. Creed Thank you very much. Angela Mmhmm. Angela I don't know if you guys have had a chance to use the new parking meters that accept credit cards, but Robert was instrumental in that legislation. Kevin Wow, that's awesome! Oscar A real David and Goliath story. Robert I'm just so touched that she's so interested in my work. Angela I am. Meredith The real problem is the teachers' union. Angela Zip it, Meredith. Meredith No. You tell me why my kid is 17 and still can't read. Ryan Hey, who's in charge of making drinks around here? Is there a bartender? Angela You are. You make your own drink. [Ryan groans] Oscar I'll make it. What are you drinking. Ryan An 'F' train to Brooklyn. Extra bitters. Oscar I don't know how to make that. Ryan Okay, well, I'll just stick with my mojito. Angela And you know those annoying geese at the park? Well, he's helping eradicate them as well. I mean, I think they've really become a pest. Meredith Annoying. Angela Yes. Pam [Jim hits a ceiling panel] I don't think he's in the ceiling, babe. Jim Well, uh... I don't think any of us really know. Alright. [Jim hands Pam a present] Pam Is it... is it pebbles from that beach in Jamaica? [she shakes it] Jim Ooh, go easy with the shaking. Pam [lifting up a diamond bracelet] Oh, my God. Jim You like it? Pam I love it. Jim Yup, I do make great Christmas gifts. But I couldn't make that. Jim Alright, my turn. Pam Oh, um, it's just, I didn't, I didn't have a lot of time, so that's just a place holder. Jim Right. Of course. [reading the comic book] "The Adventures of Jimmy Halpert." Oh, my God. This is awesome! That's my bike. That's my desk. And that is my daughter. Jim I mean... [speechless] Pam Michael, wait! Michael Oh, hey, hey, no, don't run. You're gonna slip. Pam That's good advice. Michael Yup. I read this story about a woman who slipped on some black ice, and she hit her head and went into a coma forever. And then every day, her husband went and visited her in the hospital until she died. Pam That's a sad story. Michael [voice breaking] Yeah, well, at least he was married. Pam Oh, okay, Michael, slow down. Everything's gonna be okay. Michael No, it's not. It's not. Oh, man, I can tell you confidently that it is not gonna be okay. Pam I shouldn't tell you this, but... AJ won't commit to Holly. And she's gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose to her by the end of the year, it's over. Michael Really? Pam Really. And I don't know about you, but I don't know of a lot of happy marriages that start off with an ultimatum, do you? Michael No. Pam So just be patient. Michael Yeah. I mean, I can wait till then. Come here. I don't want you to fall. Jim I surrender. Dwight I do not accept your surrender. There's only one way that I would ever relent. Jim Anything. You got it. Dwight You hit Pam in the face with a snowball while I watch. Jim You're a psychopath. Dwight I'll take that as a no. Michael I was in the mall, and I saw that, and I thought it had your name written all over it. Kelly Michael, this is the gift that corporate gave us that I picked out. You're re-gifting this to me. Michael No, that's not... no, I went to the mall and I picked that out especially for you. Kelly Oh, yeah? Well, show me the receipt. Michael [hands Kelly a receipt from his wallet] From the mall. That... Kelly This is a fast food receipt from April. Michael Well, that... Kelly God, how many number nines did you order? AJ Is everyone here kind of mean? Holly Oh, I think everyone's on edge because of the strangler trial. AJ Oh. Holly Hey, I'm so glad you came down. It's been so much harder than I expected. AJ Hey, what happened to Woody? Holly Oh, okay, get ready for this. You're not gonna believe it. I was making salad, and he fell right into the dressing. I mean, there was salad dressing all over him. AJ He smells awful. Holly It was blue cheese dressing. AJ Great. Darryl Hey, Mike. Michael Hey. Darryl We wanted to give you something. Michael Oh. Jada Merry Christmas. Michael Thank you. A Hostess apple pie! This is my favorite breakfast. How did you know that? Thank you very much. Darryl What do you say? Jada You're welcome. Michael Oh, you know, I seem to remember that Santa promised that he would listen to all the gifts you wanted for Christmas. Didn't he say that? Jada Yeah. Michael I think I know where he is. Jada A trampoline... Michael Mmhmm. Jada Video games. Michael Video games. Jada A DSi. Michael A DSi? Jada A horse. Michael A horse. Jada A pool. Michael You, are you sure you don't want a pony? You want a real horse? Jada Yes. Michael All right. You have to pick up after them. Pam Hey, sorry. I'm ready. Jim I don't want to go. Pam Oh... come on, bear man. Come on. [the lights flicker] Jim Have you ever seen 'em do that? [walk outside and the parking lot is covered with snowmen] Pam I'm sorry. I had no idea. Jim No, it's, it's okay. Okay. Pam Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no. Jim Okay. This is it. Pam What? Jim Go! Go! Go! Pam What? What is it? What? What is, oh, my God! [Jim starts attacking snowmen] Honey? Jim? Jim! Dwight In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.