Hey Oscar, big Will and Grace fan huh? Pam pam
No. Everybody assumes I am. I always get them as gifts. Oscar oscar
Oh. Pam pam
Dunder Mifflin is having our first own garage sale. Like many Americans, we realized we had a lot of things that we really didn't need. And 10 cents of every dollar is going into the party fund so we can throw parties for ourselves. Pam pam
People! Look alive. It's showtime. Doors open in 3...2...1. Dwight dwight
Oh, yikes. Jim jim
It's cold Dwight. Just shut the door and let people come in the front. Pam pam
It's good that its cold it will drive business inside. Dwight dwight
The signs will drive people inside. Pam pam
The warmth will lure people inside. Dwight dwight
Close it. Andy andy
This is how business... Dwight dwight
Close it. Andy andy
I'm not closing the door. Dwight dwight
Close it. [starts wrestling Dwight] Andy andy
Stop it. Dwight dwight
Just close it. Andy andy
Uh oh, looks like someone's sign is a little crooked. Uh, looks awful. Need a thumb tack? Dwight dwight
Sure. Meredith meredith
Not so fast. Dwight dwight
Schrute's are farmers by hobby, and traders by trade. Through the art of the swap, I will walk out of this garage sale with the finest item here. Dwight dwight
I will trade you for the used candle. Dwight dwight
Forget you. Meredith meredith
Come on, its trash, like your sign, unless you have this. Dwight dwight
Fine, just give it. Meredith meredith
That's how it's done. Dwight dwight
Woah, I love her. How much for that? Kevin kevin
I uh... I actually don't know why I brought that because It's kind of priceless. Michael michael
10 dollars. Holly holly
Mhmm, no I paid 500 dollars for that. Michael michael
200. Kevin kevin
500. Michael michael
20. Holly holly
45. Kevin kevin
Get lost. Michael michael
Damn it. Kevin kevin
That is how you do it. Michael michael
You know we don't have to sell that if you don't want to. If it's a problem with the neon I can have my neon guy take a look. Holly holly
You know it's really more for a bachelor pad. I just want to get a fair price. Michael michael
Well we could put it in storage... in case. Holly holly
In case... in case of what? Michael michael
You know... in case if something changes. Holly holly
I don't have an in case. Do you have an in case? Michael michael
Nope. Holly holly
How much for the slip and slide? Lady lady
Get lost. Michael michael
[on phone] Yes, hello Mr. Flax this is Michael Scott, your daughter's boss. I am calling because I am going to have to fire your daughter Holly because she is such a terrible employee. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm actually calling because I'm in love with her. I love your daughter, and I have for some time. And I would like to discuss my intentions with you... which are to ask her to marry me. And I was just hoping you would give me your approval. And this isn't a joke. So call me back, when you get this. And I look forward to speaking. Thank you. Michael michael
Are you serious? A half used candle? Get out of here Dwight. You're blocking my table with your giant body. Kelly kelly
Oh, cause there's a huge line of people waiting in line who want your spinster chotskies. Dwight dwight
Screw you man. People like my stuff. Kelly kelly
People like Ryan? Let me tell you about men like him. He comes over and you're like 'Hey baby let me light a candle' then you pull out this one half used and he's like 'Uh! Who else is she seeing? I better lock her down fast.' Dwight dwight
You can take my Helen Fielding collection. Kelly kelly
And the Jennifer Weiner collection. Dwight dwight
Oh my gosh, you have the Dallas board game? Andy andy
Yea when I was a kid I was on Dallas. Kevin kevin
Really? Andy andy
Yea. When I was kid we missed our connecting flight and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii... I was in heaven. Kevin kevin
We should play it. Darryl darryl
Well... there's no instructions. Andy andy
It's Dallas the game, we can figure it out. Darryl darryl
Yea. Kevin kevin
I'm pretty good at board games. Andy andy
Well, shall we make it a little interesting? Darryl darryl
Sure. Andy andy
What is this? Dwight dwight
How did those get out? I'm sorry. Jim jim
Professor Copperfield's Miracle Legumes? Dwight dwight
I was in Jamaica, and I got lost, and it was getting dark this one night and then out of nowhere with a cart and he's selling these. Dwight he's telling me things about myself that there's no way he could have known. Jim jim
That's a common swindlers trick. Dwight dwight
Probably, probably. So I buy some, I turn the corner, I feel like an idiot, so I go back to get my money, he was gone. Jim jim
So you wanna sell me magic beans. [laughs] Dwight dwight
Correction. I do not want to sell you Professor Copperfield's Miracle Legumes. Jim jim
Nice try. No. Correction. Terrible try. Dwight dwight
Michael called Dad? Holly holly
Your friend Michael, yes. What's going on? {Holly}'s Mom holly
Um, I think I know. But I'll sound stupid if I'm wrong but is Dad there? Holly holly
Holly? {Holly}'s Dad holly
Hi Dad. Holly holly
There was a program on TV about India. {Holly}'s Dad holly
Um, ok. Did you connect with Michael? Holly holly
Wanna watch it? {Holly}'s Dad holly
I... I'm not there Dad, I'm in Pennsylvania. Holly holly
What are you doing there? {Holly}'s Dad holly
I live here. Um, can I talk to you about Michael? Holly holly
I'll, I'll put your mother on. {Holly}'s Dad holly
No. No... no Dad. Holly holly
Holly? {Holly}'s Mom holly
Mom, Dad can't seem to focus on a subject. Holly holly
Don't you worry about him, he's got me. {Holly}'s Mom holly
Well who do you have? Holly holly
I have your father. He's right here I'll put him on. {Holly}'s Mom holly
No. Mom? Holly holly
Oh, which one is decaf? Pam pam
[looks out window] Michael! Michael! Pam pam
Hi. Michael michael
Hi.. I was just coming out to see what you were doing and to maybe stop you. Pam pam
Oh, you know what, you have a siphon? I think I'm gonna run out of gas. Michael michael
Why do you need more gas? Pam pam
Well, I'm writing a message. Michael michael
Is it a good message or a bad message? Pam pam
I'm asking Holly a question in fire. Michael michael
Are you proposing!? Pam pam
Maybe. Michael michael
Wow. Pam pam
Hey you know what? I've got gas all over my hands and my shoes. Would you light it? Would you do the honors please? Michael michael
Yea. Yea no problem. [runs away] Pam pam
Pam. Michael michael
Yep. Pam pam
Could you light this please? Michael michael
Michael, you've had two ideas today. And one of them was great. And the other one was terrible. Pam pam
I am not in the mood for riddles pam. Michael michael
This is terrible. Pam pam
No, this is romantic. Michael michael
You know what? I'm gonna get a hose. Then we'll talk about it. Ok we'll figure it out. Be right back. Just stay there. Pam pam
Free sample? Ryan ryan
My mom makes the best pesto in the world. And I always tell her 'Mom you should sell this, you'd make a fortune' and she always says 'No it's just for family.' Well finally I was like f*** it, I'll sell it so I'm like 'Mom, I need you to make a ton of pesto for a pesto party for all my friends' and she's like 'uh, ok' ... pesto party? Really? Anyway... she makes like a hundred bottles worth. It's so good. And Phyllis... just had that mom look I wanted. Ryan ryan
You got this kosher certified? Dwight dwight
No I meant like uh, it's cool, its kosher, it's all good. Ryan ryan
Ryan, you have such an interesting mind. So creative. All these new business ideas and artistic projects. [laughs] Dwight dwight
Thank you. Whatcha got there? Ryan ryan
Oh, its just Stanley's old photo album. I'm thinking about throwing it in the garbage. I mean, why would I want some random black mans old photo album on my bookshelf. I'm not James Franco. Dwight dwight
things are going very well. I traded a thumb tack for Meredith's junk for Kelly's crap for Phyllis' garbage for Oscars trash for Stanley's garbage for Ryan's junk for Creed's garbage for a very cute squid that Erin happened to have. Dwight dwight
Jim, put those away. Dwight dwight
[pulls away beans] I'm really sorry. Pam must have put those out. Jim jim
just out of curiosity, what were the claims for those beans? Dwight dwight
They're legumes Dwight, and you're just gonna make fun of me, so why would I... You know what, this ends now. [crumples up beans, stomps on them, and throws them in a box] Jim jim
Hey Michael everyone's in the conference room. Pam pam
Why? Michael michael
You called the meeting I don't.. Pam pam
I did? Michael michael
Ok. Thank you all for coming. I would like to talk to you all today about... recycling. Michael michael
Michael. Pam pam
Yes. Michael michael
We are a family. Pam pam
I could not have agreed with you more. Michael michael
And I've always believed that we should all be involved in everyone's personal lives, in a very major way. Pam pam
Yes. Thank you. Michael michael
So about this proposal thing... Pam pam
No, no, no, no. My minds made up I am not going to change my mind you can't talk me out of it. Michael michael
Michael, she's perfect for you. Pam pam
She's the one. Oscar oscar
She's amazing. This is very exciting. Jim jim
So we just... we wanna help you plan the proposal so that it's safe and responsible and realistic and doable. Pam pam
I had a great idea until you ruined it. Michael michael
Wanna know how to do it? Here's how you do it. Take her out to dinner. Go down on one knee. If you are in costume, you did something wrong. If at any point you find yourself tying a ring to a dogs collar, stop, and look at yourself. Oscar oscar
[playing the Dallas board game] Hmm, I'm gonna play me a little ol' black mail card . Andy andy
Nice. Kevin kevin
And call a proxy meeting to take control of you and oil once and for all. Andy andy
No you cant do that. You cant play a black mail card and call a proxy meeting in the same turn. Kevin kevin
Why not. Seems to me we're just making up rules cause somebody forgot to staple the rules to the inside of the game like a normal human being. Andy andy
And I'm gonna play this here share the wealth card. Darryl darryl
Oooh. Andy andy
Which entitles me to half of both of y'alls money so if you don't mind. Darryl darryl
no this card is from the wrong game this is from the game of life. Kevin kevin
It was in the box. Darryl darryl
Well played. Andy andy
Thank you. Darryl darryl
We must honorably adhere to the rules we are making up on the spot. Andy andy
No but that's not fair. Kevin kevin
Well that's Dallas. Andy andy
Dallas indeed. Darryl darryl
What... Ryan, where did you get this picture? [a picture of Oscar on Ryans bottles of salsa] Oscar oscar
My mom also makes the best salsa. Ryan ryan
This is your moms old stuff? Holly holly
Yeah mostly. Phyllis phyllis
How's she doing? Holly holly
It didn't go down so easy but she's made some friends and it's already better than it was. Phyllis phyllis
How do you know when its time? Holly holly
Uh I don't know if you ever know. And if you wait for the day when your parent to comes to you and says 'I cant take care of myself anymore' its never gonna happen. I have a box of bras under the table if you're interested. Phyllis phyllis
Let me see. Holly holly
Ok I think animals and proposals are out. Right Ryan didn't you read in one of your blogs that animals are out? Pam pam
Blogs are out but people are texting each other no more animals Ryan ryan
How about this I throw a corpse dressed like me off of the roof, it hits the ground, the head pops off, this leads me to the line ' I lost my head when I fell in love with you.' Michael michael
That's a guarantee. Jim jim
It's easy enough to get a corpse, you just go to a med school. I already have the ring. Michael michael
Don't think you need the corpse then. Jim jim
Heres the ring. Michael michael
Holy s*** is that real? Pam pam
Yeah. I saved 3 years salary. Michael michael
No. [shakes head back and forth] Oscar oscar
Is she not going to like that? Michael michael
No she's going to love it so I think you can keep the proposal simple. You know like when Jim proposed. He just he got down on one knee and he told me that he loved me and he asked me to marry him and it was perfect. Pam pam
Where was that. Oscar oscar
At a gas station. [oscar laughs] Jim jim
At a gas station? Michael michael
Oh it was when she was working in New York so it was halfway between both of us. Jim jim
That mush have been a surprise when... at the gas station you proposed. Michael michael
No it was really it was really sweet. It was raining and.. Pam pam
Oh yea you didn't say that the weather was bad that sounds perfect. I want this to be an event that everyone talks about always and forever. Michael michael
Totally reasonable. Jim jim
I just... it's terrifying. Michael michael
She's not gonna say no. Pam pam
I know but I'm still scared I don't know why. Michael michael
Cause it's a big deal. I mean.. I knew Pam was gonna say yes but I was still scared. Jim jim
You were scared? Pam pam
Yeah... it.s scary. Jim jim
Get this... Kevin thought I was gonna sell my Bowflex for 200 dollars and I told him 'Dude this was a prop in my movie.' Michael michael
Look I need to talk to you. Holly holly
Ok it's because we haven't sold anything. You know what? We just wait until the end of the day, people get desperate, and they're gonna pay anything. Michael michael
I think I need to go home to Colorado. My dad isn't doing so well. Holly holly
Oh ok. For how long? Michael michael
I don't know. Holly holly
Is he alright? Michael michael
Yeah. Holly holly
You ok? Michael michael
Yeah, yeah it's just you know I don't want to go home when he's on his death bed you know, I wanna be there when he's still my dad. Holly holly
Yeah, yeah well you definitely need to do that. Michael michael
And I want you to come with me. Now I know that's a lot to ask of a boyfriend.. Holly holly
Ok. Michael michael
And I was thinking... you know maybe since given our last conversation that we're both ready... Michael Scott will you.. Holly holly
No, no, shhhhut it. Mhmm. Oh God. Nope, nope, nope. Michael michael
Uh, what? Holly holly
No. I am not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story. Mhm hm. Should have burned this place down when I had the chance. Michael michael
Hey guys it's my turn. Kevin kevin
You cant go, you're dead, I shot you 5 moves ago. Andy andy
Yeah I told you, you can't shoot people. Kevin kevin
I told you we're way past rules. We have been for some time now. We start having rules now, everything we built collapses. Darryl darryl
This is stupid and I want my money back. Where's the money? Kevin kevin
Yeah where is it? Darryl darryl
Ok you know what? I am never ever playing board games with you two again. Kevin kevin
And that is Dallas. [shows money] Kevin kevin
Nice. Ryan ryan
Not bad right. [swinging golf club] Jim jim
Can't really tell the... Ryan ryan
[to Dwight] Nice. Jim jim
I know right...[sees Jim's beans] what the? Dwight dwight
Oh my God. Jim jim
That... that's impossible. Dwight dwight
It is right. I mean, it's impossible. Jim jim
All right, I'll take them. Dwight dwight
They're probably worthless. Jim jim
Probably. [walks away with beans] Dwight dwight
Leave the telescope. Jim jim
I started with a thumb tack and traded my way to a telescope. But in a way the most valuable thing here wasn't the telescope at all. No, it was this... packet of beans. So I traded the telescope for it. And I can just go buy another telescope. Dwight dwight
Hey, how'd we do? Michael michael
13 dollars. Holly holly
That's great and we still have most of our stuff. Good. Michael michael
Listen about earlier ... Holly holly
No, no, no, no, lets not talk about that. Michael michael
It was wrong to put you in that position and... Michael you are my life now. I'm not going to Colorado. Holly holly
Shhhh. Let's go on a little walk. You know what? I wanna show you some stuff. Michael michael
So this is one of my favorite places in the world. Michael michael
Why? Holly holly
This is where Toby announced that he was going to Costa Rica. Happiest day of my life. Until the day you came to replace him. Let's go in here. Michael michael
This is where we first kissed. Michael michael
I remember. Holly holly
And this is where we first made love. Remember what I tried there? Michael michael
Michael.. [they both laugh] Holly holly
Through these blinds is where I first saw you, and you had all these boxes, and I thought you were the prettiest mover I had ever seen. And I was sitting at this desk when I called you to tell you that I had herpes and that I was still in love with you and you said that it was over, and that you didn't love me. Thank goodness none of that was true. Including the herpes. Michael michael
Yes. Holly holly
In-grown hair. Michael michael
Right in here... this is where we first co-ran our meeting. Remember, obesity awareness? Michael michael
Mh hmm. Holly holly
We saved a lot of lives that day. That's where you first met Michael Klump. Michael michael
Oh, I say, I say, I say I sit on you! Holly holly
And right over there is where you found out that Meredith was prostituting herself for Outback steak. And I will never forget that you had the cutest look on your face because you couldn't believe it, you thought it was so wrong. Michael michael
And over here.. Michael michael
What happened here? Holly holly
Well, nothing. Nothing really. I would just find an excuse to come here so I could stare at you through that window. This is what I'd do. [runs water through hand] Michael michael
Nice Holly holly
Let's go in here. Michael michael
[everyone in the office is standing in the kitchen with a lit candle] Hi guys. Holly holly
This is where our love faces its toughest test. After this, its just smooth sailing for the rest of our lives. Michael michael
Holly, will you marry me? Jim jim
No. Holly holly
Marry me Holly. Stanley stanley
No. Holly holly
That guy's got more than he can handle as it is. Michael michael
Will you marry me? Oscar oscar
No. Holly holly
That marriage would be a sham. Michael michael
Will you marry me? Gabe gabe
No. Holly holly
Easy no. Michael michael
Will you marry me? Angela angela
No. Holly holly
That would be hot. I would pay to see that. Michael michael
Will you marry me Holly? Ryan ryan
No. Holly holly
Only one that I was kind of worried about. Michael michael
[the area where Holly's desk is is filled with lit candles] This is where I fell in love with you. And this is where I ask you to marry me. It started with.. [fire sprinklers go on] Holly Flax, marrying me will you be? Michael michael
Your wife becoming me will I. [everyone in the kitchen starts cheering, then enters annex] Holly holly
That's awesome! Kevin kevin
Congratulations! Pam pam
Congratulations! Jim jim
Thank you. So guys, guys, guys. We're moving to Colorado. Michael michael
All of us? Kevin kevin
Yep. Michael michael
Wait, what? Jim jim
Holly has to go back to Colorado. I'm going with her. I'm leaving. Michael michael