Got it. [taking a group photo outside] Nate nate Okay let's go in. I'm freezing. Pam pam People, wait, wait, wait. Come back, come back. One fun one. We're gonna do a fun one. Michael michael One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go. Jim jim Okay, this is just a Christmas card from your paper supplier. No one's putting this on their fridge. Pam pam Oh, I got it, you guys, how 'bout this. Michael, what if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other. The boys are like, 'why I oughta', and the girls are like, 'let's go shopping!'. Kevin kevin Let's just jump in the air! Andy andy That's it! That's a picture! Yes! Jump in the air. We're gonna jump in the air. Here we go. Michael michael Okay. Pam pam One, two, three. [everyone jumps at different times] Not everyone jumped. Nate nate Okay, everybody jump in the air this time, please. Here we go. Michael michael One, two, three. [everyone jumps] Still some people not jumping. Nate nate You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping? Jim jim I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar. Dwight dwight I am jumping. Phyllis phyllis You are? Dwight dwight Yes, I'm jumping. Phyllis phyllis Let me see you jump. [Phyllis barely jumps] Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that. Dwight dwight I'm freezing. Pam pam Um, also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three'. Nate nate I didn't want to miss it. Erin erin Well, if we all jump really high, we'll be in the air longer. Do that. Andy andy Here's a question nobody's asking: Oscar oscar I'm the office administrator now, which means I'm basically being paid to be head of the party planning committee. The first thing I did as head... I shut it down. At its best it was a toxic political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best it planned parties. Pam pam It hardly looks fake. It's so lush. Pam pam Why's it smell real? [Pam shows him a hidden car-freshener] Ah... good one. Jim jim Oh, ho, ho, ho! Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, little children! [dressed as Santa] Michael michael Merry Christmas. All all How's everybody doing today? Michael michael Good. Erin erin How's the party coming along? Michael michael Great. Pam pam Are we over budget? Michael michael Nope. Pam pam No? Good. Did anyone get drunk already? Michael michael Not yet! Meredith meredith Good for you. Angela, lay it on me. What's the problem? Michael michael Nothing. Should be fun. Angela angela So Stanley, how big is the bug up your butt today? Michael michael [cheerily] Pam got those sugar-free cookies I like. I'm doing fine. Stanley stanley Alright. Well, I will be in my office making toys for the good children. Andy? Michael michael Yea? Andy andy Whatcha got? Michael michael All good, Santa. Andy andy Well, that's a relief. Santa's gonna take some much-needed free time. Alright. Good! Michael michael My kids are growin up. As a boss, I look at that and say great. It is exactly what a boss would hope would happen because that's what I want. That's what every boss wants is a, is a wonderful Christmas with no drama. Michael michael It's present time, you guys. [all react] Happy Holidays from your friends at Sabre. Kelly kelly We just want to say how grateful we are. Gabe gabe Sabre is actively looking for ways to involve me as minority executive trainee. So I suggested choosing the annual Christmas gift to the employees. And they said, "Oh, yes. Perfect. Thank you, Kelly. Finally, something for you to do." Kelly kelly It's a Hello Kitty laptop sleeve. Kelly kelly Hello Kitty's for girls. Andy andy Nashua got mp3 players. Pam pam Yeah, I don't even have a laptop. Phyllis phyllis I wonder if these presents would be under as much scrutiny if I were white. Kelly kelly Wow. Meredith meredith Oh God. Phyllis phyllis Oh come on. Dwight dwight I said, "I wonder." I didn't say, "I think." Kelly kelly Kelly, I thought we agreed on fleece blankets. Gabe gabe Blankets, what am I, five? Kelly kelly Erin and I make great use of ours. Gabe gabe Yes, Erin and I are still dating. Why do you ask me so often if we're still dating? Gabe gabe I'll take one of those pink pouches. Darryl darryl I feel good today. My little girl Jada? It's my turn to have her for Christmas this year. Two years ago I had her, and we had the best time. I tivoed her favorite shows, some things I've never heard of. iCarly... You know who's funny on that show? The friend with the video camera. He's got a nice way of talking. Darryl darryl Hey, it's snowing. Jim jim [mocking] Oh, my God! It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate, and cuddle up with Papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams, hmm? It's not even a real snow. Look, it's a dusting. Pitiful. Dwight dwight [Jim goes outside, makes a snowball, and brings it back inside] Hey, Dwight. [Jim throws the snowball at Dwight and everyone laughs] Jim jim Damn it, Jim, you cannot throw snowballs in here! Dwight dwight Well, it's not a snowball, 'cause it's only a dusting. Right? Jim jim Look at that. There's a pebble in there. You coulda killed me. Dwight dwight Oh, don't be such a baby. Phyllis phyllis Yeah, who's a little girl now? [everyone laughs] Stanley stanley You apologize to me right now. Dwight dwight You've got something on your nose. Jim jim You apologize right now. Dwight dwight No. Jim jim Very well, then I challenge you to a snowball fight on the first real snow of winter. Dwight dwight You got it. Jim jim That sounds awesome. Can we all do it? Andy andy No, Andy, it's a snowball fight. It's not fun. Go get your own thing. Beat it. [Jim continues to shake Dwight's hand] Jim, let go. Let go. Dwight dwight Angela, are you bringing you new boyfriend to the party. Kevin kevin I wouldn't subject Robert to that. He's a very busy senator. Angela angela State senator. Oscar oscar I would not expect you to know what it's like to date someone in the public arena. Angela angela Who are you dating in the public arena? Oscar oscar The senator. Angela angela Oh, right. The state senator. Kevin kevin We went to a picnic thrown by the Comptroller's wife. Angela angela Oh, that would be impressive... if anyone knew what a comptroller was. Kevin kevin Well... Oscar oscar Do you have any idea how many photographers there are at a ribbon-cutting ceremony. I do. Two. "Angela..." [imitates camera shooting] "over here, Angela..." [imitates camera shooting] "here. Look here!" Angela angela Before we kick off the party, I just want to remind everyone that an office party is just that... Pam pam Yeah! Michael michael A party. It's not an excuse to get really drunk or confront someone or have a cathartic experience of any kind. Pam pam Pam? Pam? Michael michael Pam? Dwight dwight Wow, there are, there are questions to that. Okay. Um, you know what, no questions. Last item on the agenda, Toby would like to make an announcement. Pam pam Hi guys. Toby toby Hi. Michael michael Uh, I just wanted to let you know that, uh, I'll be taking a leave of absence starting next week. Toby toby Uh, because you've been on the Lam? Because the 'boring police' have been after you, and they finally caught up with you? Michael michael Uh, no, the opposite. I was actually selected to be a juror on a very high-profile case. Toby toby Yes, the case of the horrible red-headed sad sack. And the verdict, it was Toby. And the sentence, death. Death to Toby! Michael michael Death to Toby! Dwight dwight Okay, that's hurtful talk. We've talked about that. You know, I don't interrupt your announcements. Toby toby You know what you, you, you leave these huge pauses in your sentences. What do you expect me to do? Michael michael What's the case, Toby? Phyllis phyllis Well, I really can't talk about it, but it's a very high profile case. Toby toby Is it criminal? Andy andy Yes. Toby toby Have we heard of it? Andy andy I don't know. Toby toby Is it the middle school teacher who tried to turn her foreign exchange student into a sex slave? Dwight dwight Come on. Toby toby Was it the post office guy who rubbed his penis all over the mail? Meredith meredith Guys, it's a really big deal. [rubs his neck] Toby toby He's rubbing his neck. He's rubbing his neck! Ryan ryan He's rubbing his neck. Kelly kelly He's rubbing his neck. Ryan ryan Oh, Scranton Strangler! [all react] Andy andy I can neither confirm nor deny this. Let's just say I'll be up to my neck in jury duty. [excited outbursts] Toby toby That was the worst joke ever. Michael michael Corporate will be sending someone else to take my place for a while. Toby toby Okay. Okay goodbye, goodbye. Michael michael Uh, Holly Flax, she comes from the Nashua branch. Toby toby What? What? Michael michael Yeah, uh, she'll be starting next week. If you have any questions about the transition, just let me know. Toby toby Hold on, Holly's coming back here? Michael michael Yeah. Toby toby Guys, who's Holly? Erin erin That is a great question, Erin. How do you describe somebody who is at the same time an old friend, and was a lover, and was a complicated part of my past, and maybe, just maybe a part of my future? Michael michael Wow. Erin erin She's one sassy black lady. Creed creed Holly's coming back, everybody, and we have to have a party. Michael michael I'm not sure the temporary replacement of an H.R. rep really warrants a party. Gabe gabe You know what, we'll postpone this party until then. This is too important. Cancel this one. Dwight get rid of the tree. Michael michael Okay. Dwight dwight Cancel. We're canceling it. [Michael starts to throw away all of the food] Michael michael No, don't throw those out! Angela angela No, we have to cancel the party. Michael michael We can save that. Angela angela No, no, no, we're gonna get fresh for Holly. Fresh and new. Michael michael I bought these. Andy andy I know. Michael michael These cookies are fine. Andy andy It's not. They're not. Fresh and new. Please let go. Please let go. Michael michael Michael, Michael, wait we don't have, we don't have the budget for another party. Pam pam Well then everybody'll chip in, it'll be fine. Michael michael I honestly think you're idealizing people here again, Michael. I don't think that's gonna happen. Pam pam You know what, I'll pay for it. I'll pay for the party. It doesn't matter. This is way too important. People, Holly's coming back, and this is the most important Christmas party of my life. So back to work. Michael michael Man, I worked hard. I worked so hard for this! I was after corporate constantly. I emailed Joe. I wrote letters. And, know who I end up owing this to is the Scranton strangler. Thank you. Thank you, Scranton strangler. I love you! You just took one more person's breath away. Michael michael We have always had good Christmas parties here, as you know, but they've never been cool. [imitating Sean Connery] The name is Bond... Santa Bond. I'll have an eggnog, shaken, not stirred. Classic Brosnan. Santa... wonderful tradition. Everybody loves Santa. Everybody can't get enough of the jolly old man. But that is a myth, because you know what, he is not necessarily a big fat guy with a beard. He's not necessarily an old guy. No one knows what the real Santa Claus... God! Ow! [camera pans down to Angela pinning Michael's pants] Michael michael Just stop moving your calves so much while you're talking. Angela angela Well, this year's gonna be different. We're gonna have fun. It's not gonna be tacky. It's going to be, you know what, the food is going to be austere. It is not going to be tacky, deli platter food. It's not gonna have a big, fat, gross Santa Claus. It's gonna be cool, sleek Santa. Michael michael Maybe I'll bring my boyfriend. I'll invite him. Angela angela Okay. Sure. Michael michael I mean, unless there's any chance there could be press at this party. Angela angela You never know about the press. Michael michael Well, I only ask because he's a senator. Angela angela Could he help us with some parking tickets? Michael michael I don't think that's appropriate. Angela angela Well, then he's not a senator. Michael michael Yes, he is. Angela angela Okay. Michael michael Hey. Jim jim Hey. Pam pam We still doing the gifts today? [Pam nods] I mean, it is the Christmas party. Well, the classy Christmas party. Jim jim Yes. But don't get too excited, 'cause I didn't have a lot of time this year. Pam pam Me neither. Whew. Jim jim Okay. Pam pam I've been working forever on Jim's present. He always gives me the best Christmas gifts. He'll take a memory or a private joke, and he'll create something totally unique. I love them. So this year I made him something. A comic book. It stars Jimmy Halpert, a mild-mannered paper Salesman who, while riding his bike through the forest, is bitten by a radioactive bear, becomes 'bear man'. Wreaks havoc on the office. It's really good. Pam pam [A note is on Jim's computer that says, "It is time. Parking lot at noon." Jim nods and hands it to Dwight who burns it.] Jim jim Okay... [sighs] Oh, no, no, no, no! Fake tree. No, no! Michael michael No, it has the little... Pam pam Pam, no, no. Holly's coming from New Hampshire. Somebody from New Hampshire looks at that and thinks it's a burning cross. No, no. I want you to go and get a real tree. Take some money. Thank you. Michael michael Hi, I'm looking for Michael Scott. Bass Player bass-player Yes, that's me. Come on it. Michael michael [scats awkwardly] There's nothing classier than boring Jazz music. I am here to tell ya. And I made a bit of a judgment call. I hired one musician, because I thought, what's better, to hire an entire quartet for half an hour, or one bassist for the entire day? Michael michael Hey, uh, any volunteers to come with me to go buy a Christmas tree? Pam pam I would, but I don't want to get dirty. There might be girls at the party. Kevin kevin Why do you always think that girls are gonna be at the party? No one invited girls. It's just us. Pam pam I will help. Although my 'brid', my hybrid, my Prius hybrid, won't fit a tree. Which is ironic, considering how many trees it saves on a daily basis. Andy andy Yeah. Kevin kevin I do, however, have a hookup with a dude who has a pickup. Andy andy Oh, do you mean Darryl? That's a great idea. I'll ask him. Pam pam You know Darryl? Andy andy Yeah. He works here. We all know him. Pam pam I should come along, just 'cause he's my, you know, he's my hookup. Andy andy Cool. Pam pam Come on, now, Justine, look... Listen, look, I've been planning this, okay? You cannot do this, Justine. Darryl darryl [on the phone] I'm not doing it! She told me she wants to have Christmas here. Justine justine She did? Darryl darryl Yes. She wants to be around family for Christmas. Justine justine I don't know... I thought I was enough family for my daughter. Darryl darryl [Pam knocks on Darryl's door] Don't come in, I'm busy. [Pam opens the door] Darryl darryl It's cool, Darryl, I'm here too. Andy andy Hey, sorry, I really didn't want to come in. It's just that we have to go buy a new Christmas tree, and we're hoping we could borrow your truck. Pam pam Uh, no. Darryl darryl Come on, it'll be fun. We could do doughnuts in the snow on the way back. Andy andy No. Thank you for your interest in my truck. Darryl darryl Okay. Sorry. We'll uh, we'll leave you alone. Pam pam Hey... [sighs] You know what, I could use a breath of fresh air. Let's do it. Darryl darryl When Holly gets here, I want you to be very helpful to her. Michael michael I've looked her up online... there's nothing about her. She's made no impression on the internet. Erin erin She doesn't need an internet presence, you just know. Michael michael Oh... Erin erin Hey. Toby toby What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the courthouse. Michael michael Uh, we're on recess. I came for the party. Hey, everyone. Toby toby Hi, Toby. Kevin kevin What does the strangler look like? Is he gorgeous? He looks gorgeous in the drawings. Meredith meredith Yeah. Kevin kevin That scowl. Meredith meredith I can't talk about it or I'll get removed from the jury. Toby toby And then he will come back here and replace Holly, so stop asking him questions. Michael michael I know people are only this excited to talk to me because of the trial. But, they talk to me for a while, and maybe people realize I have something to say. And then one day, we're just talking. Toby toby [standing outside, dials Dwight's cell phone] Jim jim [voicemail recording] You've reached the voice mail of Dwight Kurt Schrute. Please leave... [Jim hangs up and turns for the door. It is pad locked. Jim turns as Dwight springs from a nearby snowman and pelts him with snowballs.] Dwight dwight Ahhhhhhh!!!! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Dwight dwight Stop! Stop! Jim jim Ahh! Dwight dwight Oh... oh! Jim jim [grunting, shouting] Dwight dwight I have no feeling in my fingers or penis. But I think it was worth it. Dwight dwight [dumps the remainder of the snow in his bag on Jim, then rests his foot on Jim and raises his arms in the air] Haahh!! [runs off] Dwight dwight Um, I was laying on the ground, defenseless, and uh, he just kept throwing 'em until he exhausted himself. And, uh, [cell phone chimes] then... [reading text message] "How 'bout icing it? lol. Dwight." Jim jim Hi. Holly holly Hello. Erin erin Is there any way I can get a hand with these, please? Holly holly I'm really sorry, I can't help you. I'm waiting for my boss' pretty friend to arrive. Erin erin There she is. Hey. Erin, would you help her, for God's sake? Michael michael Oh, you're Holly! Of course. Sorry. Erin erin Hello. Michael michael [weak Clint Eastwood accent] Well, well, well, if it isn't Michael Scott. You old bastard. Holly holly [imitating her accent] Well, I never thought I'd see your face around these parts, you old bastard. Michael michael Well I did show my face around these parts, you old bastard. Holly holly [as Curly] Why, you're some sorta wise guy, huh? Michael michael [as Curly] I most certainly am. Holly holly Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! Michael michael Unnnnnnngh! Holly holly [as Homer] D'oh! Michael michael [as Marge] Oh, Homey. [they both laugh] Holly holly Okay... Holly's back. Jim jim Hi. Hi. Oh... [they hug] Michael michael [in monster voice] Oh, huggy monster! Holly holly Oh no, not the huggy monster! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! [both sigh] Wow. Well, everybody, you remember Holly. Michael michael Hi. Holly holly Did you bring us anything from Nashua? Kevin kevin Oh, yeah. I brought um, some maple candy. But I have to admit, I got a little hungry on the drive, and I ate some of them. Holly holly That's adorable. Michael michael Would you put those out? Holly holly To throw out? Or put out, like, six pieces for everyone? Erin erin Oh, it's so nice to be back. It looks beautiful in here. Super classy. It's like a party for limousine drivers. Holly holly Well, you came on the day of our Christmas party. Michael michael Oh, it's fabulous. I love what you did. Holly holly Isn't it wonderful? We love it here. Don't you love it? All right, let me show you to your desk. [in a stereotyped Mexican accent] I show you to your desk. Michael michael [in the same accent] Watch out for my guns they're both loaded. [makes gun noises] Holly holly What kind of guns do you have? Six-shooter? Michael michael Aww... Jim jim It's a pea shoot... Holly holly This is weird. I can't believe you're here. This feels like you never left. Doesn't it? Michael michael Yeah, kind of. Holly holly Oh... Michael michael Oh... Holly holly Oh, and you have a Woody. Bah! [the both chuckle] Oh, I love toy... Michael michael AJ gave me that. Holly holly Well, that's understandable. Still raw. Woody your favorite character? Michael michael Mmhmm. Holly holly You know who my favorite character in Toy Story is? Andy's mom. Michael michael Why? Holly holly Because without Andy's mom, there's no plot. And without any plot, there is no movie. Michael michael That is a really good point. AJ said he hadn't seen any of the Toy Story movies. Holly holly You're kidding me. Ahh! Michael michael No. I know. I was like, "What? Are you serious?" Holly holly What a douche bag! Michael michael Get a life! Holly holly Get a... yeah! Good riddance. Michael michael We sat down and we watched them all in one day. Holly holly Mmhmm. Michael michael Now he's the biggest Toy Story fanatic ever. Holly holly Good for him. Michael michael Next day I found him in my bed. Holly holly Really? That's creepy. How did AJ get in your house? Michael michael We live together. Holly holly Oh, you do? Michael michael He had a little note pinned to him that said, "You've got a friend in me." Holly holly [fighting back tears] Yeah, Randy Newman's the best. Michael michael Yeah. I love him. Holly holly Me too. Michael michael [singing] Christmas tree, Christmas tree. Won't you be my Christmas tree. Andy andy Hey, how about this one? Pam pam Ehh, seems a little full of itself, right? Kind of a pretty boy? What if we got a really beat up one, like on Charlie Brown. And we just loved it for what it is? Andy andy Maybe. I mean... Pam pam [on the phone] I just, no, she be talking to your mom or something. This is my daughter too, Justine! You seem to think, [Justine hangs up] oh... pick a damn tree already. Darryl darryl Um, hey, Darryl, listen, it's none of my business, but if I couldn't have Cece for Christmas, I'd be really upset too. Pam pam I don't have kids or anything, but if my grandmother ever dies, I'm going to kill myself. Andy andy Jada don't want to spend Christmas with me. She told her mom it wasn't as much fun. And how could she say that? You know, I took her to the toy store to buy her own presents. Darryl darryl Well Darryl, no kid wants to buy their own Christmas presents. Pam pam Her mom wants me to take her to mass. I guess that's something to do. Darryl darryl No, you should have her mom do the boring Christmas stuff on her time. You should be associated with the fun parts of Christmas. Pam pam How do I do that? Darryl darryl Bring her to the party. Yeah, we'll have Santa, and we'll play games with her. It'll be a lot of fun. Pam pam Yes. Andy andy You'll be Mr. Christmas by the end of the night. Pam pam Hey guys, the tree's here. Pam pam Hey. Michael michael Nobody hug me, I'm covered in tree sap, so... Andy andy Why would someone hug you? Oscar oscar Hey there, Jada. Nice to see you again. I'm Santa Claus. Welcome. Michael michael Are you serious? Darryl darryl It's a sophisticated take. Michael michael He doesn't look like Santa Claus. Jada jada No, he doesn't. [to Michael] I told her Santa would be here. Darryl darryl Yeah, well, I was told that Holly would be here, single and ready to date. And we all got misled. Michael michael Who told you that? Pam pam Nora Ephron, in every romantic comedy ever made. Michael michael So is it an open relationship? Phyllis phyllis Oh, God, no. Holly holly Well, you're almost 40. Oh, do you not want kids? Kelly kelly Oh, I want kids. I really want kids. But AJ and I are practically engaged. We talk about spending our lives together. Holly holly So where's the ring? Kelly kelly Kelly! Um, how are you adjusting to the move? Pam pam Nobody cares about that. Look, you have to make him commit, or kick his butt to the curb. Phyllis phyllis You guys, I don't think any of us are really qualified to be giving Holly personal advice about her love life. Pam pam Yeah, I mean, maybe Holly's not in any position to be shooing guys away. Erin erin I don't get it! I'm sorry. I just, I don't get it! Erin erin Okay, listen, I'm gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose by the end of this year, we're over. Holly holly Wow, an ultimatum. Pam pam Yeah. Holly holly It doesn't really seem like you. Pam pam That is a great idea. Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself. Kelly kelly [turns in Pam's chair with a Pam wig on and laughs maniacally] Dwight dwight Don't. Stop, Dwight! [Dwight pelts Jim with snowballs] Dwight, stop! Dwight, stop! Jim jim Oh, no. Oh, no! Dwight dwight Stop! Jim jim Oh, no. Yes, taste my wrath! Dwight dwight Okay. Okay. Okay. Jim jim Huh? You like that? Dwight dwight Seriously! Jim jim Huh? Dwight dwight Okay. Okay. [Dwight throws another snowball and laughs maniacally] Jim jim Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when your gonna need to bear a passing resemblance to someone. Dwight dwight I just want it to stop. Jim jim So, cool right? Pam pam There's no connection between the origin story and the quest. Ryan ryan Okay. Pam pam We need to know who Jimmy Halpert was before he was bitten by the bear. Otherwise, it's the bear's quest. Ryan ryan Okay, well, I just sorta meant, like, cute, right? Pam pam Well, did you come here for help, or did you come here for me to tell you how great it is? Ryan ryan I mean, help, if it's something simple, like add page numbers or laminate it or... Pam pam Well, it sounds like you know what you want. [Pam walks away] It's also a little derivative of a serias called 'Bear Man'. Did you look that up? Ryan ryan No. Pam pam Okay. Ryan ryan Oh, Jim. Hey. Toby toby Hey, Toby. Jim jim There's this female uh, uh, stenographer at the courthouse... Toby toby No way. Jim jim Who looks exactly like you. Toby toby That's increadible. Jim jim Yeah. No, it's uncanny. Toby toby You know what's crazy? Jim jim What? Toby toby I can't reconnect with you right now. Hold on one second. [he hurls a snowball at Dwight with a lacrosse stick, misses, and shatters a window, everyone gasps] Excuse me. [clears throat] Jim jim I guess there are just some people who you stay together with when you transfer, and some people you don't. And that's just the way it is. And I can be mature about that. [clip of Michael throwing Holly's Woody in the trash and pouring coffee on it] Michael michael It's so cold. Even with my coat on. Angela angela Maybe your senator boyfriend has a blanket in his car... for screwing Americans. Meredith meredith Yet another opportunity where a blanket would have come in handy. Gabe gabe You guys, this has to stop. Someone could have really gotten hurt. Holly holly What if Meredith was taking her smoking break below that window? You know what would have happened? The shards of glass would have shaved her face right off. And, yes, it might have been funny. But it also would have been incredibly tragic. Michael michael I could not agree more. And just want to state for the record that I am intending to sue Jim for acute psychological distress. Dwight dwight What are you talking about? You're the one terrorizing me. Jim jim With snowballs, Jim? With fluffy little snowballs? No. I thought we were just playing. Dwight dwight Dwight's right. What you did was dangerous and inappropriate. I'm really surprised at you guys. Last time I was here, you were both best friends. Holly holly All this arguing reminds me of a very funny story. You see this on my desk? [he holds up a toy taxi cab] Know who gave me this? My girlfriend Tara, who lives in New York City. Michael michael Wait, what girlfriend? Dwight dwight I haven't told you about her. Michael michael I find that unlikely. You email me when you get a new zit. Dwight dwight I'm a man in my mid-40s and I still get zits. I think that's pretty interesting. But you know what? I am not on trial here. The Scranton strangler is. So, anyway, we have this great weekend, and she drives me to the airport, and we get to JFK, but I am flying out of LaGuardia. So we laugh and laugh and laugh, and then we spend the rest of the day walking around Slo-mo, drinking latte. And at the end of the day, she gives me this, and she says, "Michael, maybe next time, you should take a cab." Michael michael I didn't know you had a girlfriend. Holly holly I do. She is. Michael michael Did you see her face? Well it seems to me that there is a person sitting out there in the annex that still has feelings for Michael G. Scott. And it ain't Tara. Michael michael So you went homemade this year. Phyllis phyllis Yup. Pam pam Yeah. Money problems, is that what this is about? I mean, oh, dear, I don't think we can help you out. Phyllis phyllis No, no. Jim had a great year, actually. I just wanted to get your opinion. Pam pam Are you good at homemade? Phyllis phyllis Look at this. Pam pam Yeah... Phyllis phyllis [walks in with a dirty Woody] Who did this? It's obvious to me I'm not welcome here, but somebody better tell me who did this, or else I'm leaving. Holly holly Well, I don't think Erin seems to like you. Phyllis phyllis That's not true. I don't know her enough to make a decision even. Erin erin What happened? What happened? Toby, what did you do? I think Toby's very jealous of all the attention you've been getting. Michael michael No, I would never ever do anything like that. But it does seem like something you would do. Toby toby Oh, really? Turn it on me. Well, isn't that nice? Thank you very much. Michael michael Wait, wait, guys, listen. Toy Story is all about toys that come to life when people aren't looking. You don't think... it's not possible... that Woody did this to himself. Kevin kevin It is Christmas. Michael michael No, it really seems like something Michael would do. Angela angela Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Well, the fact that you would think that points to the possibility that it is probably not me. And that I have been framed. Michael michael Why would anyone frame you for that? Andy andy Okay, I'm sorry, why are we discounting this whole "Woody came to life" thing so quickly? Jim jim Ahhhhhh! [laughs] Surprise! It was part of the party. Pretty funny, huh? Michael michael You think this is funny? Holly holly [laughs] I don't. But someday I think we will laugh about this... when we tell our kids... Michael michael Yikes. [everyone gasps] Jim jim Oh no, that's, that's not happening. Kevin kevin Dear God in heaven. Dwight dwight All right. Shh. Okay, you know what? Holly, I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident. An accident borne of jealous feelings. Michael michael Michael, you have to let this go. I'm with someone else. I don't feel that way anymore. Holly holly Oh, really? You certainly seemed jealous when I told you about my fake girlfriend. That's what Jim and Dwight thought. Michael michael Okay, hey, hey, hey... Dwight dwight No, fake girlfriends are always wrong. Jim jim You made up a fake girlfriend to see if I'd get jealous? And you destroyed a gift my boyfriend gave me? What is the matter with you? Holly holly When you got transferred, and I drove you up to Nashua, you said, "Michael, I love you, but I can't do this." But then, with this other guy, you don't have any problem with a long-distance relationship, do you? And you know what, that is what is the matter with me. Michael michael Michael, I'm sorry. Holly holly And we did this whole stupid party for you. Michael michael [blocks Holly's path] No. Erin erin You guys, it wasn't my fault. Holly holly Oh, nothing is ever your fault! Just like when you ate those maple candies that you brought for us! Kevin kevin I really think you're better off. Erin erin Mmm. Erin, would you do me a favor and find my street clothes for me, please? Michael michael Yeah. Is she an amazing cook or something? Erin erin [walks over to his desk and sees a present sitting on it, reading the note] "Hey, Pickles, Merry Christmas. Open immediately. Love, Swiss Cheese." [opens the present and a snowball shoots out at him, everyone laughs] Damn it, Dwight! Jim jim Didn't think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim? Let that be a lesson to you all. Dwight dwight So do they bring in food, or do you get to go out? Stanley stanley No, they bring it in. Toby toby You lucky son of a bitch. Stanley stanley I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit in an air-conditioned room downtown, judging people while my lunch is paid for... that is the life. Stanley stanley Daddy, I'm bored. Can I read my book in your office? Jada jada Sure, sweetie. Darryl darryl Jada, Darryl, I'm so glad I found you guys. A grinch stole the star from on top of the Christmas tree and is hiding it in the warehouse somewhere. You want to go help me find him? Pam pam Oh, my goodness. Pam pam I am the mean old grinch. The little girl who wishes to win back the Christmas star must first succeed at these challenges. Andy andy Ohh, that sounds fun and Christmasy, you mean old grinch! Darryl darryl What kind of challenges. Jada jada Wahhh... Andy andy Something like an obstacle course, Mr. Grinch? Pam pam No. You must answer topical political questions. How many congressmen is the state of Pennsylvania guaranteed? And what other state has the equal number? Andy andy I don't know. Jada jada Do you know the other state? Andy andy Maybe the grinch hid the Christmas star, and we could ask for clues, and he'll tell us if we're hot or cold. Darryl darryl The star has been hidden. Is the little girl hot or cold? Well, it turns out she's burning up because the star is right behind her ear! [pulls star from coat and pretends to find it behind Jada's ear] Andy andy And the game's over seconds later. Darryl darryl I'm so glad you could come. Angela angela It's nice. I know. Robert robert Hey everybody, this is my boyfriend, Senator Robert Lipton. Angela angela Hi. Robert robert Senator, it's an honor. I'm Angela's friend Oscar. Oscar oscar Oscar. A pleasure. Robert robert Robert seems great. He's very handsome, firm handshake, he's gay, good sense of humor. Oscar oscar Hi. AJ aj Hello. Erin erin I'm, uh, I'm AJ. I'm here to see Holly. It's kind of a surprise. AJ aj I know who you are, and I think you should go. Erin erin I bet you didn't even bring us anything, did you? Kevin kevin Was I supposed to bring you guys something? AJ aj What? AJ! Holly holly Surprise. AJ aj What are you doing here? Oh, my God. Holly holly I wanted to see you. How are you? AJ aj Wow! Nice. Holly holly Oh, God, you look great. AJ aj Oh... when did you get here? Holly holly Just now. AJ aj Hey Michael michael Just now. Hey, Michael. AJ aj Nice to see you again, AJ. Welcome. Michael michael Pleased to see you. Thank you. AJ aj Good trip down? Michael michael Yeah, it was great. AJ aj Good, good. Good to see you. Have fun. Enjoy the partay. Michael michael I am dead inside. Michael michael What do you want, baby? We got some granola, got some cupcakes, chips, apples, pies... Darryl darryl You have a whole room of vending machines? Jada jada [chuckles] I know. Isn't it something? Creed creed I can't decide what I want. Jada jada [handing out vending machine items to everyone] Merry Christmas. Darryl darryl Merry Christmas. Jada jada Thank you. Pam pam And Merry Christmas. Jada jada Thank you. Meredith meredith And Merry Christ... mas. Jada jada Thank you so much. Robert robert Merry Christmas. And Merry Christmas. Jada jada Merry Christmas to you. Oscar oscar Merry Christmas. Jada jada Oh, thank you. Bass Player bass-player [Oscar unwraps a pair of Uggs] For your feet! Kevin kevin [holding a knitted iPad case] It's amazing. It's so great. Thank you. Ryan ryan [Angela hands Creed a pack of deodorant] For me? Creed creed Yes. Angela angela Thank you very much. Creed creed Mmhmm. Angela angela I don't know if you guys have had a chance to use the new parking meters that accept credit cards, but Robert was instrumental in that legislation. Angela angela Wow, that's awesome! Kevin kevin A real David and Goliath story. Oscar oscar I'm just so touched that she's so interested in my work. Robert robert I am. Angela angela The real problem is the teachers' union. Meredith meredith Zip it, Meredith. Angela angela No. You tell me why my kid is 17 and still can't read. Meredith meredith Hey, who's in charge of making drinks around here? Is there a bartender? Ryan ryan You are. You make your own drink. [Ryan groans] Angela angela I'll make it. What are you drinking. Oscar oscar An 'F' train to Brooklyn. Extra bitters. Ryan ryan I don't know how to make that. Oscar oscar Okay, well, I'll just stick with my mojito. Ryan ryan And you know those annoying geese at the park? Well, he's helping eradicate them as well. I mean, I think they've really become a pest. Angela angela Annoying. Meredith meredith Yes. Angela angela [Jim hits a ceiling panel] I don't think he's in the ceiling, babe. Pam pam Well, uh... I don't think any of us really know. Alright. [Jim hands Pam a present] Jim jim Is it... is it pebbles from that beach in Jamaica? [she shakes it] Pam pam Ooh, go easy with the shaking. Jim jim [lifting up a diamond bracelet] Oh, my God. Pam pam You like it? Jim jim I love it. Pam pam Yup, I do make great Christmas gifts. But I couldn't make that. Jim jim Alright, my turn. Jim jim Oh, um, it's just, I didn't, I didn't have a lot of time, so that's just a place holder. Pam pam Right. Of course. [reading the comic book] "The Adventures of Jimmy Halpert." Oh, my God. This is awesome! That's my bike. That's my desk. And that is my daughter. Jim jim I mean... [speechless] Jim jim Michael, wait! Pam pam Oh, hey, hey, no, don't run. You're gonna slip. Michael michael That's good advice. Pam pam Yup. I read this story about a woman who slipped on some black ice, and she hit her head and went into a coma forever. And then every day, her husband went and visited her in the hospital until she died. Michael michael That's a sad story. Pam pam [voice breaking] Yeah, well, at least he was married. Michael michael Oh, okay, Michael, slow down. Everything's gonna be okay. Pam pam No, it's not. It's not. Oh, man, I can tell you confidently that it is not gonna be okay. Michael michael I shouldn't tell you this, but... AJ won't commit to Holly. And she's gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose to her by the end of the year, it's over. Pam pam Really? Michael michael Really. And I don't know about you, but I don't know of a lot of happy marriages that start off with an ultimatum, do you? Pam pam No. Michael michael So just be patient. Pam pam Yeah. I mean, I can wait till then. Come here. I don't want you to fall. Michael michael I surrender. Jim jim I do not accept your surrender. There's only one way that I would ever relent. Dwight dwight Anything. You got it. Jim jim You hit Pam in the face with a snowball while I watch. Dwight dwight You're a psychopath. Jim jim I'll take that as a no. Dwight dwight I was in the mall, and I saw that, and I thought it had your name written all over it. Michael michael Michael, this is the gift that corporate gave us that I picked out. You're re-gifting this to me. Kelly kelly No, that's not... no, I went to the mall and I picked that out especially for you. Michael michael Oh, yeah? Well, show me the receipt. Kelly kelly [hands Kelly a receipt from his wallet] From the mall. That... Michael michael This is a fast food receipt from April. Kelly kelly Well, that... Michael michael God, how many number nines did you order? Kelly kelly Is everyone here kind of mean? AJ aj Oh, I think everyone's on edge because of the strangler trial. Holly holly Oh. AJ aj Hey, I'm so glad you came down. It's been so much harder than I expected. Holly holly Hey, what happened to Woody? AJ aj Oh, okay, get ready for this. You're not gonna believe it. I was making salad, and he fell right into the dressing. I mean, there was salad dressing all over him. Holly holly He smells awful. AJ aj It was blue cheese dressing. Holly holly Great. AJ aj Hey, Mike. Darryl darryl Hey. Michael michael We wanted to give you something. Darryl darryl Oh. Michael michael Merry Christmas. Jada jada Thank you. A Hostess apple pie! This is my favorite breakfast. How did you know that? Thank you very much. Michael michael What do you say? Darryl darryl You're welcome. Jada jada Oh, you know, I seem to remember that Santa promised that he would listen to all the gifts you wanted for Christmas. Didn't he say that? Michael michael Yeah. Jada jada I think I know where he is. Michael michael A trampoline... Jada jada Mmhmm. Michael michael Video games. Jada jada Video games. Michael michael A DSi. Jada jada A DSi? Michael michael A horse. Jada jada A horse. Michael michael A pool. Jada jada You, are you sure you don't want a pony? You want a real horse? Michael michael Yes. Jada jada All right. You have to pick up after them. Michael michael Hey, sorry. I'm ready. Pam pam I don't want to go. Jim jim Oh... come on, bear man. Come on. [the lights flicker] Pam pam Have you ever seen 'em do that? [walk outside and the parking lot is covered with snowmen] Jim jim I'm sorry. I had no idea. Pam pam No, it's, it's okay. Okay. Jim jim Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no. Pam pam Okay. This is it. Jim jim What? Pam pam Go! Go! Go! Jim jim What? What is it? What? What is, oh, my God! [Jim starts attacking snowmen] Honey? Jim? Jim! Pam pam In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas. Dwight dwight