Oh, yeah. [clapping and chanting] I got a big box, yes I do. I got a big box how 'bout you? [points to Erin] Michael michael [clapping] I got a big box, yes I do. I got a big box how 'bout you? [points to Oscar] Erin erin I think you don't know what you're saying. Oscar oscar It's from "Sob-ray", our new owner, and it is to Sabre, us. I wonder what's inside. Scissor me. [Erin tosses Michael open scissors, Pam is appalled] Michael michael Dunder Mifflin was recently bought by an electronics company named Sabre. [mispronounced "sob-ray"] They stepped in at the 11th hour, and they saved our asses. Although David Wallace said that we were the one branch that was actually working right, so we probably could have saved our own asses. We didn't need them touching our asses. Michael michael Oh! [rips open cardboard box] Wow. Awesome. [distributing items] For accounting, a brand new printer. And for the sales staff, a new fax machine. This cord has Creed written all over it. And whoever would like a brand new scanner can come visit it in my office. Thank you. Michael michael Here we go. [scans stuffed animal] Oh! Wow. Dwight dwight Cool. What next? [Dwight puts his face on scanner] Michael michael Guys, um, who's Gabe? This note says to put the box aside for Gabe Lewis, who's coming tomorrow? Erin erin Okay, everybody, listen up. I have some bad news. Due to circumstances beyond my control - Michael michael Impulsivity and inattention to detail. Dwight dwight Hey, hey. I have opened a box, which should not have been opened... Michael michael Terrible mistake. Dwight dwight And distributed things which should not have been distributed. Michael michael Undistributable. Dwight dwight Well, maybe we can put the box back together. Pam pam Impossible. He opened it like an ape. Dwight dwight I think we can do it. Oscar oscar [Pam and Oscar are trying to repack cardboard box] Yep, yep. Pam pam Right? Mm. Did we try printer first? Shredder at an angle - Oscar oscar Yep. Pam pam Fax, cable, then the scanner upside down? Oscar oscar Yes. Pam pam Have you tried making everything smaller? Creed creed And - [Jim seals box with tape, rips covered with stickers] Wow. Really nice job. This group of people, when they put their minds together, they can do something great. And I think that you should all be proud of yourselves. [cell phone starts ringing from inside box] Michael michael Oh, Michael. Pam pam Alright, relax. We can do it. We just did it. So we can do this again. Erin, scissor me please. [Erin tosses open scissors across Jim and Pam] Michael michael No, don't! Pam pam [fumbles] Thank you. Oh! Got it. Ok. Michael michael Alright, he's on his way up. Okay. Are we ready? Michael michael What do you want us to do? Pam pam Why do I have to explain everything? Michael michael Because we're usually not on the same page. Pam pam Okay. [starts round of applause] Michael michael Oh. Okay. And to you. [begins applauding] Gabe gabe Gabe seems tall. Hope we get along. Had a very good thing going with David Wallace. He was a good guy. He was somebody I could trust. Here he is. [holding up photo of him and Wallace] You can really see that he is ok taking a picture with me. Even though I was there for disciplinary reasons. Michael michael Welcome. Scranton hot dog from Scranton? Dwight dwight You know what, Dwight? Let's give him a minute to settle in, shall we? Ok? Michael michael Um, hi, uh, my name is Gabe Lewis. I am coordinating director for merging regions. Gabe gabe Hello, Gabe. I am Michael Scott, co-manager. This is my protege, Jim Halpert. Michael michael Co-manager, actually. Jim jim In training. Michael michael Trained. Loving it. Good at it. So... Jim jim We are very impressed with this branch and we are so excited about this merger. Gabe gabe We're very excited too, aren't we guys? Right? Michael michael So excited. Dwight dwight We have a little song prepared for you. Michael michael Um, actually, if you don't mind, I would love to put this on the Sabre website. [correctly pronounced "say-ber"] Gabe gabe Sabre. Say-ber. Sabre. Michael michael Oh. Of course. Dwight dwight Yes, say-ber. Good. Take it away guys. Michael michael Ok. [playing guitar to the tune of Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA] Andy andy [singing] Hopped off the train in Scranton, PA, another cloudy gray afternoon. Jumped in the cab, here you are for the first time, look to the right see the "Electric City" sign. This is gonna be good day, for Dunder Mifflin and Sob-ray. Sab - [guitar stops] {Andy} & {Erin} andy erin Saber. Michael michael Saber. [sings] Dunder Mifflin and Saber. So yeah, yeah, yay, yay. Andy andy Dunder Mifflin is a part of Sob-ray. So yeah, yeah, yay, yay. Dunder Mifflin is a part of Sabre. [music stops] {Andy} & {Erin} andy erin You sure it's saber? Andy andy Hey. Pam pam Thank you. Hey, we should be fine if we leave around 11:20. Jim jim Oh, you mapquested it. It's four blocks away. Pam pam Well, now we won't get lost. Or we could drive. And that takes one minute. Jim jim We found a great local daycare. It's rated really high by all the local parenting websites. But that means it's also really hard to get into. Pam pam Turns out, a lot of parents want the very best for their children. That's weird. Jim jim We're hoping our interview seals the deal. Pam pam But if not, there's always the army. The infantry. Jim jim Okay. Okay. Yeah. Pam pam [Gabe starts DVD] None none So you've just been bought by Sabre. You've probably got a lot of questions. Hi. I'm Christian Slater. What's it like to work for Sabre? Let's find out together. Working at Sabre means taking on the challenge of the road that rises to meet you. Sabre is respecting the past, but opening a window to the future. Have you ever tasted a rainbow? At Sabre, you will. Christian christian You'll find it easy to embrace the Sabre spirit. Welcome. We're very excited to go on this journey with you. Jo jo [Christian Slater impression] So you've been shown a nonsensical video. You're probably wondering, "What's going on?" Well, you're not alone. Jim jim Wow. Really terrific. Michael michael Most of our business comes from selling printers. So don't think of yourselves as paper salesmen anymore, but as printer salesmen who also sell paper. Gabe gabe Perfect. Michael michael No. Don't like that. Michael michael At Sabre, we really encourage honest communication. You should always feel free to express your thoughts, your - Gabe gabe Talk about vacation days! Meredith meredith We have a policy here at Sabre where we are, uh, allowed to take two weeks. Gabe gabe But I banked six weeks. Oscar oscar I already booked a Great Lakes cruise. Angela angela Hey, who the hell's going through our stuff? Meredith meredith Actually, that's Nick. He's your new IT guy. Uh, he's setting up a site blocker. Mostly blocking the inappropriate sites. And then there are the time-wasting sites like Twitter, YouTube. We are blocking those as well. Gabe gabe Mm, nope. Don't like that. Michael michael Ok, did everyone get one? With these bottles, we eliminate the need for plastic water bottles, which are the scourge of the environment. Gabe gabe We'll still get to use the little cups, though, right? Michael michael Little cups? Like paper or plastic or... ? Gabe gabe I don't know what they're made of. Michael michael They're 2 ounce paper cups dipped in plastic. He goes through 20 a day. Dwight dwight Ok, well, I bet you can fit 20 little cups of water in your aluminum bottle. Gabe gabe You know what can't fit in a bottle, are the 20 little trips I take to the cooler, and the 20 little scans I do of everybody to make sure everything's running smoothly. And the 20 little conversations that I have with Stanley. Michael michael That's ok. Stanley stanley There is a small part of me that is actually very excited about this new company. But 70 percent of me is water, and the other part, the real part, the part that has feelings and emotions and thoughts and makes decisions and, if I can be crass, makes babies, that part thinks that all of these changes suck ba - Michael michael [in line to fill up water bottle behind Kevin and Toby] Really? You don't have enough water in there? Your stomach? Michael michael Oop. Toby toby What? Michael michael Looks like we kicked it. [indicates water jug is empty] Toby toby I miss the old Dunder Mifflin. Too much change is not a good thing. Ask the climate. Michael michael I don't want to appear ungrateful for everything Sabre's doing for us. Michael michael Oh, I don't get that sense at all from you, so... Gabe gabe Well, you should have a little. But it's great that you don't, because I am trying to embrace all of these changes, but I'm - I'll be honest, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around a couple of 'em. Michael michael Which ones? Gabe gabe All of them. Michael michael Well, I wish that I could do something, but it's kind of policy, you know? Above my pay grade. You know? Gabe gabe So maybe we should call. We should call someone. I could help. I'm good with bosses. Call one of the higher-ups? Michael michael You know what? Let me see what I can do. Gabe gabe [after entering daycare] Ok, this is officially the cutest thing I've ever seen. Cubbies. I totally forgot about cubbies. Jim jim There's a finger-painting station and a curly slide. Am I too old to go here? Pam pam Oh. Adorable, right? [opens kiddie bathroom, sees man on toilet] I walked in on someone in the bathroom. Jim jim What? Pam pam I just walked in on someone in the bathroom. Jim jim Who? The - Pam pam I don't know. I don't know. Jim jim The guy we're meeting with? Pam pam I don't know, I don't know. Jim jim I am telling you, there are no strawberries in here. Andy andy Well, I saw them in there. Erin erin Well maybe they ran away, because the pizza was like, [imitating Italian accent] "Hey, get out of here, you stupid strawberries." Andy andy I think when Andy finally asks me out he's going to try to top what he did with the drum line. I can't wait to see what he comes up with. Erin erin The ball's totally in Erin's court. After the whole drum line thing. Andy andy [on videochat] First let me say that I told them everything you wanted me to say, in just the way you wanted me to say it, so... Gabe gabe Gabe, honey, I love this. I love the sound of your voice. But I really need some new information now. Jo jo Ok, um, I told the story of your uncle, and I have a feeling that you would have [Michael gesturing behind computer] really been proud of the way... Okay, um... Gabe gabe Wait a minute, who is it? Who's there? Is there somebody in the room with you? [Michael gesturing "no"] I want to see who it is. Turn me around. Jo jo I don't - it's just... Gabe gabe Turn me around. Now. [Michael starts to leave, Jo whistles] Hey, Buddy. Is it something I said? Jo jo Hello. No. My name's Michael Scott. Hello. Michael michael Oh, hello, Mr. Scott. Pleased to meet you. Jo jo Nice to meet you. We are very excited about the merger with Sabre. I think you have a great accent. Michael michael Aw, thank you. I've been working on it since I was a little girl. To, um, to what do I owe the pleasure of this videochat? Jo jo Well, I am little concerned with all of these changes, to be quite frank. I think we have done things a certain way here at Dunder Mifflin for quite some time, and - Michael michael Pardon. Pardon me, Mr. Scott, but the last time I saw a company as mismanaged as Dunder Mifflin, it was my grandson's snowball company, so you'll excuse me if I prefer that you all adapt to the way that we do things. Jo jo Ok. I feel very strongly that you can't just come in here and change everything that people have been doing forever. Is Christian Slater back there? Because... he knows. He'd know what to do. Michael michael So listen, why don't you tell Gabe if by the end of the day you can't handle the changes. Jo jo I have already told him, but I will tell him again if you think that will help. Michael michael I would take until the end of the day if I were you. [Michael leaves conference room] Jo jo [Michael throws aluminum bottle out of car window, breaks a windshield, speeds out of parking lot] None none Pam and Jim? Hey, I'm Jerry. Jerry jerry Hi Jerry. Pam pam Jerry. Jim jim Good to see you. Come on in. My office is right back here. This is the play room. Jerry jerry This is great. Got to confess, we came a little early, so we got a quick look around, but, uh - Jim jim Oh, so you saw it already? Jerry jerry No, no, no, no. Yes. We saw this, yes. No, it wasn't like a look around. We really just had a peek. Quick peek. Didn't focus on anything in particular. Jim jim It's lovely. Pam pam [cell phone rings] Oh. Got to take this. Sorry. Jerry jerry Do it. Jim jim Okay. Hi, this is Jerry. Jerry jerry Ok, you've got to pull it together. Pam pam We should just go. He's really uncomfortable. Jim jim He's uncomfortable because you're acting weird. So you have to stop acting weird. Pam pam What if we just bring it up? We just put it out in the open? Jim jim That's the weirdest possible solution to the problem. Pam pam Sorry about that. Right this way. Jerry jerry All right. Jim jim I have come here today to talk to Mr. David Wallace about this whole thing going on with Sabre. [rings doorbell] He will know exactly what to do. He is not a big fan of me dropping by announced. But then again, who is? [loud drumming as door opens] Hey. Hi, sorry. Michael michael Michael. David Wallace david-wallace I hope you're not busy doing something. Michael michael No, you kidding? Come on in. Come on. David Wallace david-wallace You sure? Michael michael You look great. David Wallace david-wallace You look great too. Michael michael You hungry? I'm just having lunch. David Wallace david-wallace Oh, yeah, that sounds good. Michael michael Fantastic. Teddy, look who just stopped in. David Wallace david-wallace Huh? Hey. [continues drumming] Teddy teddy Hey. Wow. Michael michael Keep it up, son. David Wallace david-wallace Really loud. Michael michael Wow. Oh, yummy. [David spreads marshmallow fluff on bread] You have got the life, my friend. Michael michael Yeah. David Wallace david-wallace Can I just stay here and never go back? Michael michael Things not going so well there? David Wallace david-wallace Oh, man. How much time do you have? Michael michael I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday. David Wallace david-wallace Yeah. Michael michael Hey, honey. How's your day going? Did you do anything cool? Mrs. Wallace mrs-wallace Uh, no, sweetie. I just sort of hung out. David Wallace david-wallace Oh, 'cause I saw you had shoes on, so I didn't know if you did anything. Mrs. Wallace mrs-wallace No. Just hanging out, honey. You remember Michael. David Wallace david-wallace Hi. Sorry, I was just in the neighborhood, thought I'd come by, see... Michael michael No problem at all. This is great. So what are you guys up to? Mrs. Wallace mrs-wallace I don't know. Michael michael Uh, but maybe, uh - actually, you know, I think maybe we'll go outside. May -maybe we'll go outside. [drumming intensifies] Outside. David Wallace david-wallace There was one thing we were curious about, uh, your flexibility on things like Easter or Memorial Day, because we might want to change our days around a little bit. Jim jim That seems a bit premature, don't you think? I don't even know if I have a space for you yet, and you're already lining up your holiday plans. Jerry jerry Oh, no, sorry. Just, um, we're kind of planners. But we're also flexible too, so you know what? Maybe we can just discuss it when the time comes. Jim jim Yeah, if the time comes, we can discuss it. Jerry jerry Is this because Jim walked in on you going to the bathroom? Pam pam What? Jim jim Seriously? You told her? Jerry jerry Did it? It might have come up while we were waiting for you. Jim jim And you - you thought that might have something to do with how the meeting is going? Jerry jerry No. Jim jim Maybe, because it doesn't seem to be going super well. Pam pam Well, you didn't consider the fact that it might not be going super well just because it might not be going super well? Jerry jerry Nope. 'Cause we're really nice people but you don't seem to like us. Pam pam I'm being perfectly pleasant. Did you ever consider that you might not be as charming as you think you are? Jerry jerry Oh, this coming from the guy who still uses a children's toilet? Why didn't you just lock the door, man? Jim jim It doesn't lock for the children's safety. Jerry jerry Anybody could have walked in. Jim jim It was story time. Jerry jerry Sabre is changing everything. [Michael and David sitting in hot tub] Site blockers. They don't let us use cups. So I started thinking, who could handle this? Who would know what to do? David Wallace would know what to do. What should I do, David Wallace? Michael michael I don't know. I mean, what can you do? David Wallace david-wallace Exactly. What are you thinking? Michael michael I, I - It's a tough one. David Wallace david-wallace It is a tough one. Michael michael I don't have any ideas for you there. David Wallace david-wallace Yeah. But one would be good. Michael michael Hey, oh, okay. Wait. David Wallace david-wallace Okay. Michael michael I want to tell you about a business idea I have. David Wallace david-wallace Okay. Michael michael Ok? You know how kids leave their toys everywhere? Okay. So this is a vacuum. It's like a shop-vac type of thing. [imitates vacuum] Teaches kids how to pick up their own toys. Right? Baseball gloves, hacky sacks, drumsticks. [sucking noise] Picks it up! David Wallace david-wallace So the kid's making the noise to pick it up. Michael michael No. No, no, no. That's the -that's the vacuum noise. David Wallace david-wallace Oh, okay. Michael michael You-you don't like it. David Wallace david-wallace No, I think it is- Michael michael No, it's ok. Another guy from Dunder Mifflin, Arnie from Research, he's gonna draw up the prototype. And, uh... It's like shop-vac. [sucking noise] Did I say that? David Wallace david-wallace Yep. Michael michael It'll be ok. David Wallace david-wallace Hey, any fun weekend plans? Andy andy No, you? Erin erin Uh, no, actually. So nothing? No movies, or parties, or anything you might want to invite someone to? Andy andy Nothing. It's wide open. Erin erin Okay. Andy andy That's as hard as I can hint. Andy andy Hey, you know, if you want, I'm sure I can get Arnie on board if you wanted to join us for suck it. Work together again. David Wallace david-wallace The what? Michael michael Suck it. That's what it's called. David Wallace david-wallace Oh, okay. Michael michael Huh? Catchy. Kids'll love it. David Wallace david-wallace Like it. Michael michael There are very few things that would make me not want to team up with David Wallace. And Suck It is one of 'em. Michael michael See you later. [hugs Wallace] Michael michael Oh, Michael. David Wallace david-wallace Bye now. Michael michael Thank you for coming. David Wallace david-wallace Thanks for having me. Michael michael Well, that's not the David Wallace that I remember. [reverses out of driveway, Wallace follows him] That is some sort of weird creature that lives in David Wallace's house. Oh, my god. Alright. Just get me out of here. Michael michael Hello. [comes in carrying 4 gallons of orange juice and his water bottle] Is anybody home? Oh, thank you, Erin. Now if everyone would please ready their canteens, so I can fill them with the sweet, sweet nectar of Gabe's homeland, and then propose a toast. Here we go. Michael michael You know when people say getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to them? I feel sorry for those people. That's the best thing? Really? Ugh. Michael michael Well, I'm not really one for making speeches. Michael michael Yes. Yes, you are. You make a lot. Everyone everyone But I feel pretty good right now. I really do. A lot better than I did earlier. Let me tell you. Michael michael That's your toast? Angela angela No. This is my toast. I think this whole thing with Sabre is going to work out. I have a very good feeling about it. Michael michael Michael, this isn't a toast. You're just thinking out loud. Phyllis phyllis Here's my toast. Orange juice is in here. And, like Saber, it is from Florida, and it is good. Michael michael Just 'cause you have liquid that doesn't make it a toast. Kevin kevin Here's the toast. I'm gonna do it now. Raise your container to us and to Sabre. Michael michael To us and to Sabre. All all Mm. Wow. That is metallicy. Ugh. That's like drinking a battery. Ah, really gets you in the fillings, doesn't it? Okay, anyway, welcome. Michael michael [David Wallace at keyboard, Teddy playing drums] None none [singing] Well, it's a mess, what a mess. What you gonna do? You're going to take out your Suck It and you suck it. Suck it. Yeah, take out your Suck It and you suck it. David Wallace david-wallace Suck it! Teddy teddy Yeah! David Wallace david-wallace Suck it! Teddy teddy Yeah! David Wallace david-wallace Suck it! Teddy teddy Yeah! Take out the Suck It and we'll... David Wallace david-wallace Suck it! Teddy teddy Yeah! David Wallace david-wallace Suck it! Teddy teddy Yeah! David Wallace david-wallace Take out my Suck It and we'll suck it. Both both Yeah! Teddy! David Wallace david-wallace Yeah. [high-five each other] Teddy teddy