Hey. Karen karen Hey. Jim jim Who are you faxing so early in the morning? Karen karen Oh, umm... kinda hard to explain. Jim jim I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but, before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery, so, from time to time, I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future. [reading fax] "Dwight, at 8 A.M. today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight." Jim jim No![knocks coffee out of Stanley's hand.] You'll thank me later. Dwight dwight There she is - Jan Levinson. First... Michael michael Michael. Jan jan ...thing in the morning. Love to start my morning with a hearty bowl of Jan. Michael michael Michael. Jan jan [singing] Just call me Levinson in the morning, baby. Michael michael Michael. Jan jan Yes. Michael michael I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch. Jan jan I don't understand. Michael michael The board voted last night to close your branch. Jan jan On whom's authority? Michael michael The board's. Jan jan What? Michael michael I'm very sorry. I don't relish telling you this. You've been a big part of this company, and the board asked me to thank you for your years of service. Jan jan You're welcome. Michael michael A small number of people will be transferred to the Stamford branch, and the rest will be getting severance packages. Jan jan Am I a small number person or a severance package person? Michael michael Well, we haven't made final decisions about personnel yet. But you're a severance package person. Jan jan Oh... [burrys head in hands] Oh, my god. Oh, my god! I don't really get it 'cause we're not doing that bad and our numbers are gonna come up. Michael michael Well, it's not all about numbers, Michael. Jan jan Well... Michael michael It's... it's about talent. Jan jan Oh, you gotta be... Josh? Michael michael Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our company's future. Jan jan Oh really, what role is that? King of the stupid universe? Michael michael It is an outrage, that's all. It's... hey're making a huge, huge mistake. Let's see Josh replace these people. Let's see Josh find another Stanley. You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well they don't. There is no Stanley tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm. With Phyllises and Kevins sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm. Michael michael Pictures. Memories. [Picks up a framed photo of Stanley's daughter from Stanley's desk] Look at that. They grow up so fast. Michael michael Hey stranger. Dwight dwight Don't say that. That just sounds weird. Please. Michael michael Sorry. I just feel like we haven't talked in awhile. Dwight dwight Well... we have nothin to talk about, Dwight. Just do your work ... while you still can. Michael michael When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael's book is, "Something Weird is Going On." Colon, "What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story. By Michael Scott, with Dwight Schrute." Dwight dwight Hey, um... did you hear about your friends in Pennsylvania? Rumor has it that the Scranton Branch is... [clicks her tongue to her mouth motions chopping off a head] Karen karen Really? Wow... that's bad. Jim jim Um, sorry... the Scranton branch is closing? [Karen nods and Andy looks at Jim] In your face! Andy andy Well, I work here now. Jim jim Mmmm.. suck-ah! Andy andy Are you okay? Pam pam Yeah, great! Amazing. Best physical condition of my life. Michael michael What did Jan want? Pam pam Nothing. Just checking in. I can't tell you, so... Michael michael What can't you tell me? Pam pam Nothing, Pam.[whispers to himself] What difference does it make? We'll be gone in a couple of weeks anyway. Michael michael What?! Pam pam What? Michael michael You just said that we're gonna be gone...? Pam pam Do I have any messages? Michael michael Michael, what's going on? Pam pam Ok, ok... Michael michael [facing the whole office] Listen up, everybody... I have some news. We are screwed. Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton is being shut down. Michael michael Michael, uh... we shouldn't be talking about this until all the decisions have been made. Toby toby You knew about this all along, didn't you? Michael michael Jan told me just a few minutes before she told you. Toby toby Traitor. You are a traitor. Michael michael What about us, Michael? Do we still have jobs? Angela angela I don't know. Probably not. This is the worst. Michael michael It makes perfect sense that it would happen today because I just received this in the mail. [holds up cards] A thousand business cards with this address and phone number. Ryan ryan I don't want to blame anyone in particular. I think everyone's to blame. Angela angela If I get to stay and Ryan is laid off, I will kill myself. Like Romeo and Juliet, the Claire Danes one. Kelly kelly [surrounded by clapping coworkers] Stamford, Connecticut! Stamford, Connecticut! Andy andy I worked in Scranton for a really long time. And uh, it's going to be weird that it's all disappearing. I mean, I always knew that the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be because Michael sold the building for some magic beans. Jim jim I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna take the severance and retire. My wife and I are gonna travel. [chuckles] I really couldn't be happier. Stanley stanley It's a blessing in disguise. Actually, not even in disguise. Sometimes at home, I answer the phone, "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam." So, maybe that'll stop now. Pam pam What does that mean? Roy roy Well, some of us are fired and a few are going to Connecticut. Kevin kevin I don't really want to work here without Pam. You know that Cinderella song, "You Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)"? That pretty much says it better than how I know how to say it... in words. Roy roy Hey Mike. Darryl darryl Darryl. Noble Darryl. [sighs] Michael michael Look, I heard about the office. Tough break. Darryl darryl I know, I know. Well, I'll land on my feet. Don't worry about me. Michael michael I wasn't. Darryl darryl So, you'll be okay too. You're a warrior. You're smart, capable. You'll find something else and... Michael michael Actually, Bob Vance bought out the warehouse. So he's keeping on the whole crew. So, we good. Darryl darryl Awesome. Michael michael This is my house. The CFO is taking away my house and giving it to Josh. And Josh is giving the garage to Bob Vance. Michael michael All right, listen up. Some of you may have heard some rumors about the branch closing. But, I am not going to take this lying down. I have a plan and I am going to save our jobs. So just hang in there. [Looks at Dwight] Let's go. Michael michael Yes! Dwight dwight Oh, good... you're bringing Dwight. Pam pam Yes. This might get ugly. I need backup. Michael michael What's the plan? Dwight dwight Go to New York, confront the CFO, show him he's making a mistake... save the branch. Michael michael Can I drive? Dwight dwight No... way. Michael michael Shotgun! Dwight dwight No. There's no one else. Michael michael Still. Dwight dwight Thank you very much. [hangs up cell phone] Okay, secretary says Wallace is away for the day and won't be coming back into the office. Dwight dwight Okay, okay. Um... Michael michael But, do not worry. I have his home address right [presses cell phone button] here. Dwight dwight Why? Michael michael Christmas card list. Dwight dwight You sent him cards? You never met him. Michael michael But when I do, we'll have something to talk about. Dwight dwight Hey, do you have a second? Jim jim Sure, what's up? Josh josh I know it's not definite or whatever, but uh, do you know who's coming over here from Scranton? Jim jim I honestly don't. I don't know. Josh josh Okay, so is it like sales or... accountants? Jim jim You know what, Jim, I wouldn't worry about it. Josh josh What does that mean? Jim jim Hi. Jan jan Jan, hey. Josh josh Oh, good. You're both here. Ready to talk logistics? Jan jan [to Kelly] I just feel like it could have been something special if we could have kept working together, but I'm gonna go someplace else and you're gonna go someplace else. It just doesn't make sense. Ryan ryan This kinda worked out perfectly for me. I got some good experience. Uh, Michael's gonna write me a great recommendation. And as far as me and Kelly goes, I think it's for the best. Ryan ryan Okay, this is it. [runs up the stairs of CFO's house, with Dwight] This is exactly what Michael Moore does, famous documentarian. He goes up to people with a camera and he's like "Why did you do this? Why did you pollute? You are bad. You're a bad person." It's very dramatic. Although, I can't say I was a big fan of 'Bowling for Columbine', because I thought it was going to be a bowling movie, like 'Kingpin'. And it wasn't. It was something else. Michael michael So, Josh will be running what is now called Dunder-Mifflin ,Northeast, which is all the offices north of Stamford. And Jim, fi you want the job, you'll be his number two. Jan jan Wow. Uh, sure. Absolutely. Josh josh Awesome. Jan jan Excuse me, Jan, I'm sorry... I'm gonna have to stop you there. I, um, will not be taking the job. Josh josh Wha... excuse... why not? Jan jan As of today, I have accepted a senior managment position at Staples. Josh josh Today? Jan jan [nods] Josh josh You leveraged your new position with us into another offer? Jan jan [sighs] Josh josh Damn it, Josh. This whole restructuring thing was based around keeping you. I... Jan jan I'm sorry, all right? It's done, it's done. Josh josh I'm gonna make some calls. Jan jan Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that. Jim jim So, do you know what you're gonna say when he shows up? Dwight dwight I will improvise. I will speak from the heart. Michael michael No. Bad idea. You need an attack plan. Here, I'll be him, you be you. Let's practice. Dwight dwight All right. Michael michael [as David Wallace] Dum, dum, dum, dum... coming home from work. Dwight dwight Excuse me, Mr. Wallace? David Wallace? Michael michael Yes? What is the meaning of this? Dwight dwight Can you tell us why you are shutting down Scranton and putting 15 people out of work? Michael michael Well, the branch is no longer finicially viable. It's simple dollars and cents. Dwight dwight Yes, but these are employees, Sir. These are human beings. Michael michael Listen, Scott... we're losing money, okay? It's not a charity; it's a business. And it's a dying business. Dwight dwight [no longer talking to Dwight as Wallace] Stop... stop it! Just, okay. He's not going to say any of that. Michael michael [as himself] Whoa hey, why not? Dwight dwight Because he'd be intimidated and I, just... let's start again. Just be more scared of me, okay? Michael michael Okay. Dwight dwight Don't touch me this time. Michael michael [as David Wallace] Dum, dum, dum, du, doy, du, do... coming home from work... Dwight dwight Excuse me, Mr. Wallace? Michael michael [frightened] Uh! Dwight dwight So... we are still scrambling here. But uh, it looks like Scranton is going to absorb Stamford. Jan jan Wow. Jim jim And I know that you just left there a couple of months ago, but we would like to offer you the number two position at that branch. Jan jan Thank you. Jim jim Yeah. Jan jan No, it's just I'm not sure if I um... well to be quite honest with you, Jan, I have a few unpleasant memories of Scranton. And um... Jim jim Michael. Jan jan No. No, no. Just um... some personal stuff. And I'm not really ready to revist that, I don't think. Jim jim Ah. Well, please think about it. And call me. We will do whatever we can to get you to stay. Jan jan Okay. Jim jim Hey guys. Uh, I'm trying to organize a little group lunch for everybody since you know, we're never gonna see each other again. Phyllis phyllis Where are we going? Kevin kevin I thought maybe DJ's. Phyllis phyllis How about Cugino's? Kevin kevin I don't want to go all the way to Dunmore. Angela angela How 'bout Cooper's then? Kevin kevin No seafood. Angela angela But, I don't want to go to DJ's. Kevin kevin Oh, now all of a sudden you get picky? Angela angela Okay, forget it. [walks away] Phyllis phyllis Hooters? Kevin kevin No. Angela angela Ah. [takes a gulp of Gatorade and passes the bottle to Michael] Here, replinish your fluids. Dwight dwight [takes bottle and cleans off cap with his tie] Michael michael [in Scranton] Where's Michael? Jan jan He's not here. I don't know where he is. Pam pam [looks around, noticing that no one is working] Wha... what's going on here? Jan jan We know the branch is closing; Michael told us. Phyllis phyllis Ah, god. Okay. You know what everybody? I'm sure there is a better way to do this but I've drive something like 400 miles today and I'm completely exhausted so I'm just gonna tell you. Your branch is not closing; Stamford is closing. Um, for the time being, it seems that all your jobs are safe. Jan jan Yes! Angela angela Yes! [hugs Angela] Kevin kevin Stanley! [hugs Stanley] Phyllis phyllis Is it because of Michael? Did he actually do something? Pam pam Well, reasons are not important. Would you just call him, please? Wherever he is... and tell him. Jan jan Sure, uh, Jan... um, do you know, is anyone coming back to Scranton? Pam pam Back? Jan jan Coming to Scranton. Is anyone coming to Scranton? Pam pam Uh, we don't know. Probably. A few. Jan jan [referring to Michael's ringing phone] who is it? Dwight dwight The office. Michael michael Gonna get it? Dwight dwight No, not until I have some good news for them. Not until I have some good news. Michael michael I guess some new people might be coming from Stamford. Should be fun. New blood. Pam pam Is Jim coming back. Ryan ryan That's, um... I hadn't thought about it, huh. Pam pam I just don't want it to be weird, you know? I mean, I took his old job and his old desk. Ryan ryan Yeah, that might be weird. Overall though, we still all have our jobs... so, good news, right? Pam pam Oh, yeah, totally. Ryan ryan Ahhhhh! [hugs Ryan] I'm so happy we don't have to break up now, Ryan! [kisses him] This is the best day of my whole l ife! Kelly kelly What you gonna do? Karen karen I really don't know. How you doing with all this? Jim jim You know, I'm fine. I'll be better when I know if I have a job. Karen karen You'd actually move to Scranton? Jim jim Yeah, if they let me, I think I... I think I would. Karen karen New York City is 45 minutes down the road from here. And you wanna move to Scranton? I dunno. If I were you I'd move to New York? Jim jim Yeah, you know... I might do that. I, who knows? I... I might do that. Karen karen Hey Andy! Josh josh [after screaming and throwing papers around in the kitchen] What's up, Josh? Andy andy I just want to say thanks. Good luck. Josh josh Thanks, man. You, too. Totally. Andy andy Anything? Michael michael Nothing. [puts down binoculars] Dwight dwight What if this doesn't work? What is the office actually goes under? Michael michael Then it was an honor to have worked with you. Dwight dwight [pats Dwight and sighs] All right, favorite moments in Dunder-Mifflin history. Go. Michael michael My first day when you hazed me by spraying me with a fire extinguisher. Dwight dwight That was hilarious. The foam ... Michael michael Uh,... my first sale, my promotion to assistant regional manager, our basketball game, when you took me to the hospital, and told me that you cared about me. Dwight dwight Oh, right. Okay, that's enough. That's good. Michael michael What were your favorite moments? Dwight dwight Oh, hmm, all of them. I loved them all. Every single one. Michael michael What about when Jan said the branch was closing? Dwight dwight God, Dwight! Michael michael Well, it doesn't... Dwight dwight Hey Pam, we're going to Poor Richards. Creed's buying shots. Kevin kevin No thanks, guys. Pam pam All right. Kevin kevin Have fun though. Pam pam Cool. Kevin kevin Hey, I hear Jim's coming back. Phyllis phyllis Really? Where did you hear that? Pam pam I was... Phyllis phyllis [interupting] Hey Ryan, you coming? Kevin kevin Uh yeah, we'll meet you there. Ryan ryan Awesome. Let's go, Phyllis. Kevin kevin [to Pam] I'll tell you later. Phyllis phyllis Okay. Pam pam Crazy day, huh? Roy roy Yeah. Pam pam Yeah, man! I'm uh... I'm really glad you're still gonna be working here. Roy roy Yeah, me too. Pam pam Maybe this is good. Finding another job is a pain. There's another annoying boss, another desk, I'd have to learn everything all over again. So, there are reasons to stay. Pam pam Hey, um, I think I am gonna take that job. And Scranton... it's not that bad. So, if they offer you a job there, I think you should take it. Jim jim Okay, yeah. Maybe I will. Karen karen Okay. Jim jim Yeah, I'm happy he said that. I mean, I don't think he's into me or anything, but, I'm kind of into him. So...there you go. Karen karen What are we still doing here? It's over. Let's go home. Get the car. Michael michael [picks up his beeping cell phone] Dwight dwight Oh, this was such a stupid idea! This was so stupid. I am such a stupid idiot. I let everybody down. Everybody hates me. I lost everybody's jobs. Nobody likes me anymore! Michael michael [on the phone] Oh my God! Dwight dwight What?! Michael michael : Stranford is closed! Michael, we're not closed. Stamford is closed. Stamford is closed. Dwight dwight We did it? We did it. Michael michael We did it! Dwight dwight We did it! We did it! {Michael} and {Dwight} michael dwight Right here! Right here! [pounds his chest against Dwight's] Michael michael Ouu! Ou! Ouu! Ouu! {Michael} and {Dwight} michael dwight Yeah, baby! Michael michael In your face! Dwight dwight We did it! Michael michael Oh, man. Dwight dwight How did we do it? Michael michael I don't ... have no idea. Dwight dwight I don't understand. Michael michael Well for a minute there, I saw myself selling my house, moving to Costa Rica, learning how to surf. But, Costa Rica will still be there. When I'm 65. Toby toby