mirror of
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add vue client folders, rename server files accordingly and update code
This commit is contained in:
Xevion
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@@ -0,0 +1,946 @@
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[
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Ryan",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. I got Jim’s uh, old job. Which means at my 10 year high school reunion it will not say “Ryan Howard is a temp.” It will say “Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm. …that’ll show ’em."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "[after “the kiss”] You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Me too. …I think we’re just drunk."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "No I’m not drunk. Are you drunk?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "No… [Jim leans in for another kiss] Jim—"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Are you really gonna marry him? [Pam nods] …Ok."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "[sobbing] Jim is gone. He’s gone. I miss him so much. Ooooh I cry myself to sleep, Jim! [serious] False. I do not miss him."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "No! That is the fun of this place. I call everybody “faggie”. Why would anybody find that offensive?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "OK I think Oscar would just like if you used “lame” or something like that."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "That’s what faggie means!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "No not really…"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "Apparently you called Oscar “faggie” for liking the movie Shakespeare in Love more than an action movie."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "It wasn’t just an action movie, it was Die Hard!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "All right Michael, but Oscar’s really gay."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Exactly!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "I mean for real."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, I know."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "No, I mean he’s attracted to other men."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "OK, a little too far, crossed the line."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "OK, I am telling you, Oscar is an actual homosexual. Yeah, he told me this morning. And, obviously he hopes he can count on your discretion."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I would have never called him that if I knew. You don’t… You don’t call retarded people “retards”. It’s bad taste. You call your friends “retards” when they’re acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Listen man, I am so sorry. I had no idea."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "No, it’s fine."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "No. No it’s not. I feel terrible about it. I have been calling people “faggie” since I was in junior high, and I have never made this mistake. If I don’t know how to behave, it is because I am just so far the opposite way, you know? I’m just… I, I can’t even imagine… the… thing. Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime. And you could tell me… how… you do that to another dude."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "That sounds like a great, wonderful idea, let’s do that."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "[in reference to Oscar being gay] It explains so much."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "No, I’m not gay. And I don’t understand why anyone would think, that I’m gay… if… [sighs] Uh… yeah I’m gay."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "I can’t say whether Dunder Mifflin paper is less flammable, sir, but I can assure that it is certainly not more flammable."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Why did I transfer to Stamford? I think that’s pretty obvious. I got promoted! And you can’t beat that view… right?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Hey, Big Tuna! You’re single right?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Uh-huh, yeah. I am."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "She’s pretty hot huh? [Jim nods] She’s completely crazy. Steer clear Big Tuna. Head for open waters."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "OooOK."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "OooOK."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "I ate a tuna sandwich, on my first day. So, Andy started calling me Big Tuna. …I don’t think any of them actually know my real name."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Big Tuna is a super ambitious guy, you know? Cut your throat to get ahead kind of guy, but I mean I’m not threatened by him. I went to Cornell, you ever heard of it? [laughs] I graduated in four years. I never studied once. I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the acappella group, “Here Comes Treble.”"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Josh",
|
||||
"text": "So, end of day we are going to have a little diversity policy refresher, because of some more problems at the Scranton branch. And I have a list of business startups I got from the chamber. Yes, I am going to need someone to cold call them."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Oh, I can do that."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "Jim’s nice enough. I dont… I don’t know how well he’s fitting in here. He’s always looking at the camera like this. [makes classic “Jim”-camera face] What is that?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Can you tell who’s gay and who’s not?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Of course."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "What about Oscar?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Absolutely not."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Well, he is."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Well, he’s not dressed in women’s clothes, so…"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[deep sigh] There could be others… I need to know. I don’t want to offend anybody else."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, I’m sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Hey, what about Angela? She’s hard and severe. She could be a gay woman."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "I really don’t think so."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I don’t know, I can imagine her with another woman, can’t you?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "[creepy smile]"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Do some research. Find out if there’s a way to tell by just looking at them."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Jim told me you could buy gay-dar online."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "That’s ridiculous."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah probably. He didn’t tell the truth a lot."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[sighs] Let’s call him and get the website."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Definitely."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "What’s gay-dar? Oh, oh, gay-dar, yes! No, uh, I think they have it at Sharper Image. Oh, you know what? I could check for you. No problem. [loudly fake typing] It’s sold out! Yeah sorry about that, that’s a bummer."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Well, they’re sold out."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Damn. [thinks] I’ll try Brookstone."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "I miss that."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Roy",
|
||||
"text": "Chicken or fish?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "[loud sigh] Chicken."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Roy",
|
||||
"text": "So you havin’ a good day?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Excellent, thanks."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Roy",
|
||||
"text": "Good, glad. OK."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, I didn’t go through with the wedding. I got cold feet, a few days before. And I can’t really explain it. I just had to get out of that relationship. We still had to pay for all the food. So we froze it. But I’m, I’m doing well. I have my own apartment. I’m taking art classes. And I have lunch for the next five weeks."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Roy",
|
||||
"text": "After Pam dumped me, I um, I kinda stopped taking care of myself there, and uh, I hit bottom when uh, drunk driving arrest. I’ve been working out and um, you know, I’m not gonna take her for granted. I gotta win her back."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Stanley",
|
||||
"text": "I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kelly",
|
||||
"text": "That is so cool that you’re gay. I totally underestimated you."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "Yes I’m super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company, Scranton. Much like, um, sir Ian McClellan."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Sure, sometimes I watch Will and Grace… and I want to throw up. It’s terribly loud. I do like it sometimes when Harry Connick Jr. is on. He’s so talented."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "OK. Who put my calculator in Jello? Good one. But uh, seriously, guys who did this? Seriously guys, who did this? I need to know who put my calculator in Jello, or I’m gonna lose MY FRICKIN’ MIND!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "You know, it’s amazing to me that in this day and age, you could be so obtuse about sexual orientation."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I watch the L Word. I watch, Queer as F***, so…"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "That’s not what it’s called."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "OK, Michael, are you aware that you ousted Oscar today?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "What? What does that even…"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "Coming out, is a significant moment for a gay person, and they should be allowed to select the timing and manner of announcing it."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Well, gay pride, right? Gay pride parade? It’s not like gay… shame festival."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "All right, now Oscar’s feeling discriminated against by his co-workers, primarily Angela, and um, that’s your fault."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I think Angela might be gay. Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair? Maybe! Is that what this is about?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "NO!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I don’t kn–"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "No, it’s not possible."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Anything’s possible."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "You know, imagine… you were gay."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[laughs] Well, I’m not gay Jan, and you should know that better than anybody!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "Michael, your immaturity is extremely disappointing and may even lead to a lawsuit which is the absolute last thing this company needs right now. Do you understand?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "The company has made it my responsibility today to put an end to 100,000 years of being weirded out by gays."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "Am I the first gay man you ever knew?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Trick question! Cause you can’t always tell, so… how would I know. Is that the right answer?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Michael, Dwight’s looking at gay pornography on his computer."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Uh, Michael knows Pam. He asked me to do this just for him. He has his own reasons."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[looking at gay porn] Nothing wrong with this stuff. At all. This is fine. You know what. Gay porn, straight porn, it’s all goooooood! I don’t particularly get into this. But uh, you know what. I totally see the merit! And actually… it is quite beautiful."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Ah damn pop-ups."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "What are you doing?!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Watching some of your friends."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[yelling] All right, everybody in the conference room! I don’t care if you are gay, or straight, or a lesbian, or overweight! JUST GET IN HERE! RIGHT NOW!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Did you know that gay used to mean happy? When I was growing up it meant lame. And now it means a man, who makes love… to other men."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "We’re all homos! Homosapiens. Gays aren’t necessarily who you think they are, people. I mean anybody could be gay. Business-men. Like antique dealers, or hairdressers, or… accountants. Oscar, why don’t you take this opportunity to officially come out, to everybody here. However you want to do it. Go ahead. Stand up. I’m doing this for you."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "Yes I’m gay. And I didn’t plan on sharing that part of my life with you today, so, whatever. Can I sit down now?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Creed",
|
||||
"text": ":"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Who should be the judges and juries of our society?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Judges and juries!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Yes, that’s a good point. She has a good point. Because gay marriage currently is not legal, under U.S. law. I bet a lot of straight men wish that applied to them. So they could go out there and have some torrid unabashed monkey sex as much as they could. You know? Sounds pretty good, right?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": ":"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "I think all the other office gays should identify themselves, or I will do it for them."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "No one else in this office is gay."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "What about Phyllis? She makes absolutely no attempt to be feminine!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Phyllis",
|
||||
"text": "I’m getting married to Bob Vance."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "That’s great. Congratulations Phyllis. That is great, and frankly kiiiiiiiind of amazing! [laughs] See? Everybody has a chance!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "But still, Phyllis, in college? Did you ever experiment with other women? A lot of women do!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Phyllis",
|
||||
"text": "No, you knew me in high school. Course, we all thought you were gay in high school."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[laughing] Right! [serious] And I take that as a compliment."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Phyllis",
|
||||
"text": "Well with your ties and your matching socks and —"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Well, I just like to look good OK, so —"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "You sound pretty defensive Michael."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "No, I am just coming out myself. I am coming out hetero!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "I think the problem with this office is that you are sending mixed signals about my being here."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "No no no. The only signal that I am sending is:"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Look, if I was gay, I would be the most flamboyant gay you have ever seen. I would be leading the parade covered in feathers, and just… I would be waving that rainbow flag."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "I don’t think I can work here any longer. This has been the worst, most backwards day of my life."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "You misunderstand– OK. You know what, OK. I uh, I’m gonna put my money where my mouth is. You ready? I am going to embrace Oscar. You might want to watch this Angela, because you can’t catch anything. Here we go. We are going to make a statement. You and I are going to make a statement together. Oscar is my friend —"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "I would rather not."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "…and I just don’t care who sees it, doesn’t bother me!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "No, NO! I don’t want to touch you, ever consider that? You’re ignorant, and insulting, and small!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "All right, um… sorry."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "Michael… I’m sorry. That was a good idea. Come on, come on. [Oscar and Michael hug]"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[sobbing] I’m sorry I called you faggie. You’re not faggie. You’re a a good guy."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Michael appears to be gay too. And yet he is my friend. I guess I do have a gay friend."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[embracing Oscar]You know what, I’m going to raise the stakes. I want you to watch this. And I want you to burn this into your brains. Because this is an image that I want you people to remember for a long time to come. Whenever you come into the office I want you to think about this. [awkwardly kissing Oscar] I did it. See. I’m still here. We’re all still here. [everyone claps]"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[Dwight gets up to kiss Oscar] Oh come on! Dwight! Come on, man!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "We are not in the playground anymore. There are new rules. We have to be mature. But we can’t lose the spirit of child like wonder. What is love… anyway? Maybe it’s supposed to break all the rules. Like me and Jan. Or Oscar… and some guy. Life is short. When two people find each other, what should stand in their way?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I am glad that today spurred social change. That’s part of my job as regional manager. But you know what? Even if it didn’t, at least we put this matter to bed. …that’s what she said. Or he said."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Oh, there’s Gill. Oscar’s roommate. I wonder if he knows?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "I was going to quit. But Jan offered me a three month paid vacation and a company car. All I had to do was sign something saying I won’t sue. Gill and I are going to Europe. Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "[reading the note with the gay-dar] “Hope this helps. -Jim” Nice!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "[Dwight is running the gay-dar over Oscar’s body] What are you doing?!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Shhh. Don’t be scared. [gay-dar beeps over Oscar’s belt buckle, Dwight smiles] It works. [gay-dar goes off next to Dwight’s belt buckle] …oh no."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "[on speakerphone] Okay, what is your goal for after lunch?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I will do my job to the best of my abilities."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "[under breath] Heaven help us. [aloud] Specifically."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I will do my regional manager job to the best of my capability."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "Specifically, Michael."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Specifically, Jan, I will make at least ten phone calls to clients."
|
||||
}
|
||||
],
|
||||
"deleted": 1
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Yes, I have to begin every day by letting Jan know what I intend to accomplish, and then I have to call her at the end of the day to tell her what I did accomplish. But it’s not mandatory. It’s something that I… wanted to do… and so it’s voluntary, really. Even though she… makes me. I think she just wants to hear my voice. Because we’re no longer lovers, and she’s just hurting. But things are going well with Carol. I’ve seen her seven times in the last few months, and I’m growing very fond of her kids. Tommy, who I call Tomas, and the little girl…"
|
||||
}
|
||||
],
|
||||
"deleted": 1
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "[on speakerphone] Are you on the toilet, Michael?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[quietly] No."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "Well, I know sometimes you are and… that you wouldn’t tell me, so I’m just going to assume that you are, and call me back when you’re finished."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Okay. [Jan hangs up. Toby opens the office door.]"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "Michael?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[sigh]"
|
||||
}
|
||||
],
|
||||
"deleted": 1
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Hi, honey. You holding up?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Yup."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "I’m… painting my new apartment tonight."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Oh, good. By yourself?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Yes."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Aw. Well, hang in there, okay? You know what? You should get one of this big body pillows. That way you wouldn’t miss you-know-who so much."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Thanks."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Roy."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Right."
|
||||
}
|
||||
],
|
||||
"deleted": 1
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "What do I think? I think everybody should stay out of everybody’s personal business!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
],
|
||||
"deleted": 1
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Oscar",
|
||||
"text": "Yes, I’m gay."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Meredith",
|
||||
"text": "[shocked expression]"
|
||||
}
|
||||
],
|
||||
"deleted": 1
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Meredith",
|
||||
"text": "Why are all the best-looking single men always gay?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
],
|
||||
"deleted": 1
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Hey, Big Tuna. You ever Google Google? What do you think would happen?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Let’s find out. [starts typing]"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "[makes frustrated noises]"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Oh! Lots of results."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "I didn’t mean you should do it. You were supposed to ponder it. It’s… You removed the fun. Thanks a lot, Big Tuna."
|
||||
}
|
||||
],
|
||||
"deleted": 1
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
File diff suppressed because it is too large
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@@ -0,0 +1,894 @@
|
||||
[
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Ohhhh! She’s absolutely adorable!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Hannah",
|
||||
"text": "He."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "…Oh, sorry. He’s–he’s dressed all in pink."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Hannah",
|
||||
"text": "That’s his favorite color."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "…Oh. That’s… fun for him."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Stanley",
|
||||
"text": "Fantastic."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Ohhh, wow. Look at that. How cute."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Hannah",
|
||||
"text": "Thank youuu."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Ohh. May I?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Hannah",
|
||||
"text": "Uh, sure!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[climbs under desk] Hey, look at me, I’m a baby! I’m one of those babies from “Look Who’s Talking.” What am I thinking? [Laughs] Look at all those staplers! What’s a stapler!? I don’t even know, I’m a baby! Hey, Mom, I’m thirsty! I’m thirsty, Mama! I want some milk. And you know where milk comes from! Breasts."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "Hey."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Hey."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "…Almost done?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Just about… yup. Now."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Yes. I have started to see Karen. It’s very new, and… not really ready to talk about it openly yet, just because, I think, once the word gets out there, it might affect the way people behave around us or… I dunno. Just, not yet."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, Jan, it um… looks like a check, piece of paper of some sort. Receipt. I don’t know."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Jan, this is Angela Martin from accounting."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "[over phone] Mmhmm."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Look, we have a rebate from… the Federal Work Opportunity Program and no one knows what that means."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "We get that money for hiring an ex-convict."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I didn’t hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist. [Jan sighs] … I’m just kidding."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "When did the check come?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Last week."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "Okay, that’s when the branches merged, so Josh must have been taking advantage of this program. Smart move."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "One of the Stamford people is a criminal?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Hey Jan, speaking of Stamford, Hannah brought in her baby."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Jan, which one of the new employees is a criminal?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "Uh, reformed convict, and, uh, I’m not sure. Though hang on, let me email our HR, stay on the line."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "[whispering] Who is it?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Hannah?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "Hmm."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Hmm."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "Andy."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Andy?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "Hmm. Martin?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Kuhhhh… you are such a racist."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "Wait, why am I a racist?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Because you think he’s black."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "He is black… right? And…"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Stop it. Stop it right-stop it right now."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "…Okay it’s someone named Martin Nash."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jan",
|
||||
"text": "Michael?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish that Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy… who went to prison for… polluting a black guy’s lake."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "I wonder what he did."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "In our society, a black man can be arrested for almost anything. He was probably at a sporting event and… saw some people pushing each other, and he intervened."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Why would anyone go to jail for that?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Sssssso, what we need to do… is to forget about this whole Martin in prison thing. People will draw unfair conclusions about Martin and or black people."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "Cool."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Okay. Angela?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Sure. Let’s protect the convicts. At the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Good. All right. [everyone leaves]"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "[picks up phone] Jim Halpert."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "[over phone] I am so horny."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "…Okay I can’t… help you… with that."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "She is dating Ryan, I think."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Oh, and I care why?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "She’s… high-maintenance."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Next. How about… [motions toward Angela]. Blondes are more fun. C’mon, trust me on that."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Okay fine. Um. Pam, the receptionist. Paaam. Should I go for it?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "…Absolutely you should."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Jackpot."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Just… try to be cool."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "I am cool."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Okay, are you cool, really?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "I’m cool, I’m cool, I’m so cool. Tell me what is going on."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Um… Martin, from Stamford, was, at one time, in prison. [Dwight starts to run] No. Dwight! Be cool! Be cool!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "All… righty, let’s get started. What is she into?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "I know Pam pretty well. I know the things that she likes, and, just as important, I know the things that she hates. So, one of the things that she likes is pranks. And, the things that she hates…"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Frisbee-based competitions…"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Are you kidding?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "She…"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "I started the main Frisbee golf club at Cornell. Where I went to college. I live to frolf."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Lead off with that. She loves hunting. She also loves those ads for Six Flags, with the old guy. [Andy hums Six Flag ad] Got it. Also… do you speak pig latin?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Hey Martin, how’s it going?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "Good. Getting settled, you know?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Ah. Good good. Good. Just a second. Everybody? May I have your attention please? I realize that a lot of you have already heard that Martin here has had some trouble with the law, but I just want to declare publicly that I… trust… him, completely, and that anybody who doesn’t is an ignorant, dumb… person. Okay? As a matter of fact, you show me a white man you trust and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam. Tell me a white person you trust."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "My dad."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "…Danny Glover. [Jim raises hand] Yeah."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Jonas Salk."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Who?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Justin Timberlake?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Oh. Please. Colin Powell."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "Hey I got one."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Yup."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "Jesus."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Apollo Creed."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What’s he wearing? Nothing special, baseball cap on backwards, baggy pants… he says something ordinary like… ‘yo, thats shizzle.’ Okay. Now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "So… you all wanna know what I was in for?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "No. That’s not cool. You don’t have to tell them."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "Um, I really don’t mind. It was a stupid mistake. I was working in finance and, I… got involved in some insider trading. So, I spent a little time in the clink."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[laughs] That is awesome."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because… it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "What was prison like?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "Not terrible. Boring. We do the same thing every day. But… at least we got outdoors time."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "You got outdoors time?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "Two hours, every day. Sometimes we’d play pickup football games…"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "Michael, why don’t we get outdoors time?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, some days I never go outside."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Well, we are running a business, so."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Meredith",
|
||||
"text": "What was your cell like?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "Not good. Uh… a little bit bigger than Michael’s office… but, you know, I really only slept there. You know, during the day, there-our time’s our own. They had uh, classes, I took some… watercolor classes."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "They have art classes?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "Yeap. Yeah."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Ryan",
|
||||
"text": "They have business classes there?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "They did, taught by some uh, Harvard business school guys–a lot of the guys also, that were in the class, the inmates, a lot of them have gone on to do extraordinary things in business."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Kinda sounds like… prison’s… better than Dunder-Mifflin."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Ah. Well. That’s not true."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "I would so rather be in prison."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Ryan",
|
||||
"text": "Prison sounds great."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "No you would not."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "This place is not prison. It’s… way better than prison."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Creed",
|
||||
"text": "[singsong voice] Baby. Hello baby. Here you want to play with this?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "You can’t give paperclips to a baby. He could swallow."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Creed",
|
||||
"text": "Oh, it’s okay. I’ve got tons of them. You like that? Goo-goo-goo-goo?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Pam-a-lama-ding-dong. Listen, you’re cute. There is no gettin’ around it. So… I don’t know if you like country music, but I was thinking maybe one of these days we could drive out to a field, crank up some tunes, smoke a few Macanudos… maybe even toss a disk around. Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Wow… I–"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Shh. Think about it. I’ll hit you back."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Wow. That was… wow."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Okay! Listen up everybody! Um, you guys said that prison was better than this place, and I heard ya, loud and clear, so, I am instituting some changes to make this more like prison. We are going to start with an hour of outdoor time. So let’s go!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Michael, it’s freezing out."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Phyllis",
|
||||
"text": "I can’t feel my toes."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Why don’t we… pump some iron? Anyone wanna… pump up?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "What is that, like… five pounds?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "It’s uh… two and a half. I’m not going for bulk, I’m going for tone."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Stanley",
|
||||
"text": "I’m going back inside."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, it’s… freaking cold out here. Anybody wants to stay out, you’ve got about… twenty-seven minutes of rec time."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Oh heyyy. Martiiin. You have TV in the joint?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, in the rec room."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Ah. A ten inch black and white?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "Actually, our TV was bigger than that one."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "These people don’t realize how lucky they are. This office is the American Dream. And they would rather be in the hole."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Oh. Andy. I thought of one last tact you can take with Pam."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Quick question – do you play the guitar?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "I play the banjo."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Hold on, let me think about that, yes, that’ll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "[singing] You know I can, my man."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Yup. That’s perfect."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "Hey."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Hey."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "I’m gonna go get my banjo out of my car."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Perfect."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "What is going on?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "…I’m messing with Andy. I’m sending him to all the women in the office with… just… terrible information on how to get them to go out with him."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "I love it. I want in. Who’s the target?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "…Oh, you know what? … It was… gonna be Pam, but…"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "Perfect. What do I do? Just give me an assignment."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Uh, you know what though? I feel like I already sicked him on Pam… we’ll give her a break. Let’s think of someone else."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "All right everybody, there has been a lot of name calling against our office today. Corporate maligning, slurring, much of it coming from one of you, who claims that prison is better… than… here. And none of can say “Boo” because none of us have ever been to prison. Well, there’s somebody I’d like you to meet. Somebody else who has been to prison, who can tell you what it is really like [puts on bandanna]. I’m prison Mike! You know why they call me prison Mike?!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Do you really expect us to believe you’re somebody else?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, beeyotch?! [employees protest] All right, hey, hey, hey, hey, that’s just the way we talk in the clink. Been a lot of fun talk about prison today, but I am here to scare you straight. I AM HERE TO SCARE YOU STRAIIIGHT!! In prison you are somebody’s bitch. Oh, and you. [points to Ryan] You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don’t drop the soap! Don’t drop the soap!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Ryan",
|
||||
"text": "Michael, please. [Michael makes kissing noises]"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Where… did you learn all of this?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Internet."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "So, not prison."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "And prison. Eh, fifty-fifty, both. Look, prison stinks, is what I’m saying. It’s not like you can go home, and, recharge your batteries, and come back in the morning and, be with your friends, having fun in the office."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "What’d you do, Prison Mike?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "I stole. … And I robbed. And I kidnapped… the… president’s son. And held him for ransom."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "That is… quite the rap sheet, Prison Mike."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "And I nevah got caught, neither."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Well, you’re… in… prison, but, mmhmm."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Prison Mike? What was the food like in prison?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Gruel. Sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "Wow. Prison sounds horrible."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you, Andy. Tanks."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Dwight",
|
||||
"text": "Prison Mike. What’s the very very worst thing about prison?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Angela",
|
||||
"text": "Don’t encourage him, Dwight."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "The worst thing about prison was the… was the Dementors. They… were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And they’d come down, and they’d suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt!"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Karen",
|
||||
"text": "Demen-Dementors like in Harry Potter?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "No, not Harry Potter. … There are no movies in prison. This is my point! You guys got it soft, and cushy! This place is freaking awesome! The people are awesome! Your boss is nice! Everyone seems to get along! People are tolerant! People who… have jumped to conclusions can redeem themselves! Nobody is nobody’s bitch. I hope that this scared you. And from me, Prison Mike, to you, I just wanna thank you for listening to me. Letting me be a part of your life today. ‘Cause you got a good life! YOu got a good life. A good life. [turns around, takes bandanna off] So. What do you think? It doesn’t sound so great, does it?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Pam",
|
||||
"text": "Wow. Thank you. Um, that must have been hard for you to relive that. Both of you."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Martin",
|
||||
"text": "Yeah, that… wasn’t really… at all my experience. There were certain elements of what you performed, I’ve seen on television. But it didn’t remind me of my time in prison."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Okay. Okay, fine. You guys think prison is so great? All right. Well, here you go. [locks employees in conference room]"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Jim",
|
||||
"text": "Okay, Michael. Come on. Let us out."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "No! If you think is prison is so wonderful, then, enjoy prison! They are such babies. I am going to leave them in there until they can appreciate what it’s like to have freedom. And if this doesn’t bother them, then I am out of ideas."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Kevin",
|
||||
"text": "[knocking on door] Hey! Let us out of here! Hey! I have–"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Hannah",
|
||||
"text": "Shh!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "[answering phone] This is Toby. Hey Pam. Where are you calling from?"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "Michael. Why’s everyone locked in the conference room?"
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "They were very disrespectful to me, and to the office. And Martin has had a bad influence, to think that I gave him the benefit of the doubt."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "Well, you’re going to have to let ’em out. Or… or I will."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Okay. You know what Toby? I am teaching them a lesson, so."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Toby",
|
||||
"text": "You know they’re teasing you. I mean… obviously, this is… a much nicer place than an actual prison. We get paid to be here. We go home afterwards and have social lives. We have… we have parties here. They’re teasing you. To be funny."
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "[unlocks door] Okay nutcases, get out of there! Good work. Long day. Really long. Why don’t you guys head home. Early. Time off for good behavior! Heh. Good job. Enjoy your freedoms!"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Michael",
|
||||
"text": "Martin went from being a new guy from Stamford… to a convict, to… my friend. Back to a convict. Then to… a kind of a nuisance, actually, to be completely honest. And finally, to… a quitter. And I will not miss him. And that is not because he is black."
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
},
|
||||
{
|
||||
"quotes": [
|
||||
{
|
||||
"speaker": "Andy",
|
||||
"text": "[singing] So we’ve been told, and some choose to believe it, I know they’re wrong, wait and see, ’cause one day we’ll find it, the ainbowray onnectionkay, the lovers, the dreamers, and meeee…"
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
}
|
||||
]
|
||||
File diff suppressed because it is too large
Load Diff
Reference in New Issue
Block a user