From 3e0873da3f8ada24b44af988bb5746aab565cbe2 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Xevion Date: Tue, 15 Sep 2020 07:15:58 -0500 Subject: [PATCH] recent changes to generated data (characters.json, main_characters.json), fixes in raw data concerning character names --- server/data/characters.json | 101328 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ server/data/main_characters.json | 139 + server/data/raw/2-21.txt | 2 +- server/data/raw/3-07.txt | 2 +- 4 files changed, 101469 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) create mode 100644 server/data/characters.json create mode 100644 server/data/main_characters.json diff --git a/server/data/characters.json b/server/data/characters.json new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6fb00e8 --- /dev/null +++ b/server/data/characters.json @@ -0,0 +1,101328 @@ +{ + "michael": [ + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right Jim. Your quarterlies look very good. How are things at the library?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So you’ve come to the master for guidance? Is this what you’re saying, grasshopper?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. Well, let me show you how it’s done.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on the phone] Yes, I’d like to speak to your office manager, please. Yes, hello. This is Michael Scott. I am the Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products. Just wanted to talk to you manager-a-manger.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. Done deal. Thank you very much, sir. You’re a gentleman and a scholar. Oh, I’m sorry. OK. I’m sorry. My mistake. [hangs up]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That was a woman I was talking to, so… She had a very low voice. Probably a smoker, so… [Clears throat] So that’s the way it’s done.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ve, uh, I’ve been at Dunder Mifflin for 12 years, the last four as Regional Manager. If you want to come through here… See we have the entire floor. So this is my kingdom, as far as the eye can see. This is our receptionist, Pam. Pam! Pam-Pam! Pam Beesly. Pam has been with us for… forever. Right, Pam?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If you think she’s cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago. [growls]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Any messages?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! Pam, this is from Corporate. How many times have I told you? There’s a special filing cabinet for things from corporate.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s called the wastepaper basket! Look at that! Look at that face.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "People say I am the best boss. They go, “God we’ve never worked in a place like this before. You’re hilarious.” “And you get the best out of us.” [shows the camera his WORLD’S BEST BOSS mug] I think that pretty much sums it up. I found it at Spencer Gifts.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whassup!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whassup!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whass…up!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Strains, grunts] What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. All right. See you later.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Back to work.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Corporate really doesn’t really interfere with me at all. Jan Levinson Gould. [walking out of his office] Jan, hello. I call her Hillary Rodham Clinton. Right? Not to her face, because… well, not because I’m scared of her. Because I’m not. But, um… Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um… Me no get an agenda.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t get any agenda.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? I didn’t… [looks at Pam] Did we get a fax this morning?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why isn’t it in my hand? A company runs on efficiency of communication, right? So what’s the problem, Pam? Why didn’t I get it?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, that was a joke. That was a joke that was actually my brother’s, and… It was supposed to be with bills and it doesn’t work great with faxes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, yeah. Lovely. Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no, this is good. This is good. This is fine. Excellent.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All the alarm bells are kind of going… ringie-dingie-ding!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. No problem.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Me no wanna hear that, Jan. Because downsizing is a bitch. It is a real bitch. And I wouldn’t wish that on Josh’s men. I certainly wouldn’t wish it on my men. Or women, present company excluded. Sorry. Uh, is Josh concerned about downsizing himself? Not downsizing himself but is he concerned about downsizing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Question. How long do we have to… [Telephone rings] Oh uh, Todd Packer, terrific rep. Do you mind if I take it?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Packman.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, that’s not appropriate.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, I don’t know what you mean.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, my God! Oh! That’s… horrifying. Horrible. Horrible person.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, absolutely. Under this regime, it will not leave this office. [zips his lips] Like that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Am I going to tell them? No, I am not going to tell them. I don’t see the point of that. As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Guilty! Guilty as charged!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Howard, like Moe Howard. Three Stooges.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Watch this. This is Moe. Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck-nyuck-nyuck. Mee! [hold hand up for a high five] Ah, right here. Three Stooges. Oh, Pam. It’s a guy thing, Pam. I’m sort of a student of comedy. Watch this. Here we go. [Yelling in cod German] I’m Hitler. Adolf Hitler. [Continues with cod German]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Relax. Everything’s under control. Uh, yeah. Yeah. That’s important. Right. Oh this is so important, I should run to answer it. [Imitating Six-Million Dollar Man sound effect]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on. Six-Million Dollar Man! Steve Austin! Actually, that would be a good salary for me, don’t you think? Six million dollars? Memo to Jan. I deserve a raise.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m sorry?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If you’re unhappy with your compensation, maybe you should take it up with HR. OK. Not today, OK? Pam, just be professional. [Sighs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think I’m a role model here. I think I garner people’s respect. [Imitating a PA] Attention all Dunder Mifflin employees, please. We have a meeting in the conference room, ASAP.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "People I respect, heroes of mine, would be Bob Hope… Abraham Lincoln, definitely. Bono. And probably God would be the fourth one. And I just think all those people really helped the world in so many ways that it’s really beyond words. It’s really incalculable.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Now I know there’s some rumors out there and I just kind of want to set the record straight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Assistant to the Regional Manager.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m about to tell everybody. I’m just about to tell everybody.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You don’t know what it is. [Laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t need your permission.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Corporate has deemed it appropriate to enforce an ultimatum upon me. And Jan is thinking about downsizing either the Stamford branch or this branch.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not gonna happen.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It won’t be out of my hands Stanley, OK. I promise you that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, yeah, it is a promise. And frankly, I’m a little insulted that you have to keep asking about it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know. Hold on a second. I think Pam wanted to say something. Pam, you had a look that you wanted to ask a question just then.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, Pam maybe you should stick to the ongoing confidentiality agreement of meetings.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, Stanley. No, you did not see me in there with her. I said if Corporate wants to come in here and interfere, then they’re gonna have to go through me. Right? You can go mess with Josh’s people, but I’m the head of this family, and you ain’t gonna be messing with my chillin.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Watch out for this guy. Dwight Schrute in the building. This is Ryan, the new temp.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Introduce yourself. Be polite.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Assistant to the Regional Manager. So, uh, Dwight tell him about the kung fu and the car and everything.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s his profit.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. Hold on, hold on. The judge is in session. What is the problem here?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no. Do not take it out. You have to eat it out of there, because there are starving people in the world [turns to camera] which I hate, and it is a waste of that kind of food.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Discipline. Kinky! [Laughs] All right, here’s the deal you guys. The thing about a practical joke is you have to know when to start and as well as when to stop.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And yeah, Jim this is the time to stop putting Dwight’s personal effects into Jell-O.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Laughing] Nice. That’s the way it is around here. It just kind of goes round and round.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey! Yes! New guy! He scores.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pudding. Pudding… I’m trying to think of another dessert to do.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So have you felt the vibe yet? We work hard, we play hard. Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard. Right? I guess the atmosphere that I’ve created here is that I’m a friend first, and a boss second… and probably an entertainer third. [Knock at door] Just a second. Right? Oh, hey do you like The Jamie Kennedy Experiment? Punk’d and all that kind of stuff?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You are gonna be my accomplice. Just go along with it, OK?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just follow my lead. Don’t pimp me, all right? Come in. So, uh, Corporate just said that I don’t want to…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, thank you. Pam, can you come in here for a sec. Just have a seat. I was gonna call you in anyway. You know Ryan. As you know, there is going to be downsizing. And you have made my life so much easier in that I am going to have to let you go first.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why? Well, theft and stealing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Post-it Notes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "50 cents, yeah. If you steal a thousand Post-It Notes at 50 cents apiece, and you know, you’ve made a profit… margin. You’re gonna run us out of business, Pam.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. I am.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But the best thing about it is that we’re not going to have to give you any severance pay. Because that is gross misconduct and… Just clean out your desk. I’m sorry.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Pam starts crying] You been X’d punk! [Laughing] Surprise! It’s a joke. We were joking around. See? OK. He was in on it. He was my accomplice. And it was kind of a morale booster thing. And we were showing the new guy around, giving him the feel of the place. So you… God, we totally got you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know about that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is the most important thing for a company? Is it the cash flow? Is it the inventory? Nuh-uh. It’s the people. The people. My proudest moment here was not when I increased profits by 17% or when I cut expenses without losing a single employee. No, no, no, no, no. It was a young Guatemalan guy. First job in the country, barely spoke English. He came to me, and said, “Mr. Scott, would you be the godfather of my child?” Wow. Wow. Didn’t work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[holding up a Dundie and pretending it is talking] Hello. I’m Michael Scott. I’m the best boss in the world.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam! Pam-Pam! Pam has been with us for… forever. Right, Pam?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, at one time or another every guy in the office has sprayed on Pam.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Messages?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, right here. Three Stooges. High five. [Michael and Ryan high five] Oh, Pam. It’s a guy thing, Pam. [camera cuts to Pam then back to Michael] Now, who was the one before Curly?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Curly? Very good. Curly Joe DeRita.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, comedy’s kinda my thing. Watch this, here’s Curly Joe. Mmm. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Oh, I forgot. Here we go. [Yelling in cod German] I’m Hitler. Right. [Continues with cod German] Me, me, me, me, me, me. Curly Joe Hitler. [laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All these people are walking around and they’re happy and their lives are just going along, ignorance is bliss. But if they knew what was lurking on the other side of that fence that furry monster. [imitating monster] “I’m gonna get you, downsizing.” No. They wouldn’t… They’d freak. And I’m not going to play God. They look to me for support. And they look to me for guidance and leadership. And I think if I could lie to them and it serves them, then that’s what I’m going to do.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So this is our sales staff. They are the ones who are making calls and making us lots of money. [comes to a screeching halt and laughs] This is accounting. The numbers dudes. Do not let the job description fool you, they are all completely crazy. Especially that guy, he is a mental patient. [camera zooms in on Kevin] Not literally of course, that wouldn’t work. The last place you’d want somebody like that is accounting. [hides behind office plant] “Very interesting, but stupid.” Artie Johnson. It’s a crazy place.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What you don’t know… Well, it can hurt you, but if you don’t know it won’t hurt you. Then, you can just be happy for a little while at least.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, John Belushi. What a crazy guy. Phew, freaked myself out this morning.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. I thought I found a lump. I checked the, uh… I check the jewels every month. This time… You know, it’s a little different. It was fine. It was fine. But freaky, man, you know. Testicular cancer, God. Cancer, whoa testicles. So… What’s, um… What you eating?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, place around the corner. Nice. All right. See you later.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do I need to speak up? [grabs boom microphone] Hello.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think better to be a happy idiot then a, um… Then someone who knows the truth.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, uh, can I help you out in here?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Gotcha. Good. I’d go with the rows. That’s a good idea.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Today is diversity day and someone’s going to come in and talk to us about diversity. It’s something that I’ve been pushing, that I’ve been wanting to push, for a long time and Corporate mandated it. And I never actually talked to Corporate about it. They kind of beat me to the punch, the bastards. But I was going to. And I think it’s very important that we have this. I’m very, very excited.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Oscar! How are you doing, man?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you have a good weekend going there?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh yeah, I bet it was fun. [to Mr. Brown] Oh, hey! This is Oscar—", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right. See? I don’t even know, first-name basis!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh hey, well, diversity, everybody, let’s do it. Oscar works in… here. Jim, could you wrap it up, please?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s diversity day, Jim. I wish every day was diversity day.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on people, let’s get ’em in. Get in the cards! Get in the cards!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? This is a color-free-zone here. Stanley, I don’t look at you as another race.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Exactly, were not…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "With tolerance.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ignorance.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s celebrate.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Celebrate good times. Come on! Let’s celebrate diversity. Right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? Here’s what we’re going to do. Why don’t we go around and everybody… everybody say a race that you are attracted to sexually. I will go last. Go.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, hey why don’t you run it by me and I’ll run it by him.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. Why don’t we just defer to Mr…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah. Oh, right! OK. First test. I will not call you that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How come Chris Rock can do a routine and everybody finds it hilarious and ground-breaking and then I go and do the exact same routine, same comedic timing, and people file a complaint to Corporate? Is it because I’m white and Chris is black?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will play the Chris Rock guy. I would like to see someone else pull this off.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, I will play guy listening.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kevin is a great guy. He’s a great accountant. He is not much of an entertainer.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. He’s ruin… He’s butchering it. Could you just let me… [As Chris Rock] Every time… Every time black people want to have a good time, some ignant ass… [Bleep] I take care of my kid!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Bleep] They always want credit for something they supPOSED to do!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[As Chris Rock] What you want a cookie?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Clears throat] I don’t think I can sign this.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, OK, it says here that I learned something and I knew all this stuff already, so… I know, I could sign something that says that I taught something, or that I helped you teach something, so… Pam! Where is she? Pam, could we change something on this?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here’s the thing. This office, I think this is very advanced in terms of… racial awareness and it’s probably more advanced than you’re used to. That’s probably throwing you off a little bit.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, well I know. You told me that several times.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, here I am thinking that you actually cared about diversity training. And you don’t.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I won’t.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“I regret my actions. I regret offending my coworkers. I pledge to bring my best spirit of honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness…” Open-mindedness, is that even a word? “…into the workplace. In this way, I can truly be a hero. Signed, Daffy Duck.” [Laughing] He’s going to lose it when he reads that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“I pledge to always keep an open mind and an open heart.” I do believe… in that part of the pledge I that just read. But a pledge? Come on. I mean who are we, the Girl Scouts? No. Look… the guy, “Mr. Brown,” he got us halfway there. He got us talking. Well, no. I got us talking. He got us nothing. He insulted us and he abandoned us. You call that diversity training? I don’t. Were there any connections between any of us? Did anyone look each other in the eye? Was there any emotion going on? No. Where was the heart? I didn’t see any heart. Where was my Oprah moment? OK, get as much done as you can before lunch because, afterward, I’m going to have you all in tears.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right? Everybody pretty? Come on. Here we go. It’s time. Let’s do some good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Get out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, this is not a joke. OK? That was offensive and lame. So double offensive. This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here. OK, let’s go. Let’s do it. Come on. Let’s have some fun, everybody. Here we go. Take a seat. Cop a squat. And um… thanks for coming in. Um… Diversity… is the cornerstone of progress as I’ve always said. But don’t take my word for it. Let’s take a look at the tape.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on the tape] Hi. I’m Michael Scott. I’m in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton, Pennsylvania but I’m also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over. Abraham Lincoln once said that, “If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.” And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. Questions? Comments? Anybody? Jim?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have something here. I want you to take a card. Put it on your fore… Don’t look at the card. I want you to take the card and put it on your forehead and… Take a card, take a card, any card. Um… And I want you to treat other people like the race that is on their forehead. OK? So everybody has a different race. Nobody knows what their race is, so… I want you to really go for it, cause this is real. You know, this isn’t just an exercise. This is real life. And… I have a dream that you will really let the sparks fly. Get ‘er done.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why? Because Martin Luther King is a hero of mine. There’s this great Chris Rock bit about how streets named after Martin Luther King tend to be more violent. I’m not going to do it but it’s…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh this is a good one.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Push it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. Bom bom bom-bom bom. Come on Olympics of Suffering right here. Slavery versus the Holocaust. Come on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, that was inadvertent. We didn’t actually plan that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, come on. “I like your food.” Come on stir the pot. Stir the melting pot, Pam! Let’s do it. Let’s get ugly. Let’s get real.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’ll notice I didn’t have anybody be an Arab. I thought that would be too explosive. No pun intended. But I just though. “Too soon for Arabs.” Maybe next year. Um… You know, the ball’s in their court.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. All right. No. It’s good. You just need to push it. You need to go a little bit further. All right. OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Voice raised, Indian accent] Kelly, how are you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! Welcome to my convenience store. Would you like some googi googi? I have some very delicious googi, googi, only 99 cents plus tax. Try my googi, googi. [Lowering voice] Try my googi, googi. [High-pitched voice] Try my googi, googi. Try my… [slap!]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[trying not to cry] All right! All right! Yes! That was great, she gets it! Now she knows what it’s like to be a minority.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just hated it when that guy was in here. Mr. Brown, if that was his real name. I mean, he had never met any of us before, and here he was telling us how to do our thing. I just wanted… I just wanted to do it our way. You know? On our own. Man I should have gotten some food.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, Kevin. You can take that off that thing, OK? That would really, really have shown him up, wouldn’t it? If I’d brought in some burritos or some colored greens. Or some pad Thai. I love pad Thai.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That doesn’t really make sense. Because you don’t call them collared people, that’s offensive. Hmmm… OK, well, it’s after five. So… Thank you very much. Buena vista Oscar. Thank you. Good job. Oh, my man. Thank you Brazil. Nice.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. I would like to see us erase 100 years of racism in an hour.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, the country.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, more like a 1,000.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just think that HERO? It’s cute, but it’s… It’s empty, you know? It’s easy. Dwight, you know what, I came up with some terms of my own. Could you put these on the board? The first one is Inclusion, New Attitudes, Color-blind…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Expectations….", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you. Sharing…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And tolerance.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, it’s not ideal but you have to give me some credit ’cause I made it into a word.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will give you a number of reasons why it is, actually. Okay, first, incest is bad. Racism is bad. No brainer, right? Two, incest. We’re all a family, right? We’re all brothers and sisters. Racial message? Um? Number three, and this is a fact. The states where they have a lot of racism are the states where they have a lot of incest. Okay? And finally…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no, wait. Final one, final one this is important. The more we can encourage interracial dating as a society the further away we get from incest, literally.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. I’m sorry, I’m sorry this guy’s a temp and I should’ve told you that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, but no, seriously. Uh, you know, he’s not a member of the full staff so, uh, Ryan you wanna just step outside?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, maybe you should go down to the parking lot. You know what. Yes, go down to the parking lot and check to se if any of our guests have parked in the handicapped spots. Cool? ‘Cause the handicaps get a raw deal. Oh, you know what. That ties right into New Attitudes. New attitudes about handicap people. Very important.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“In this way, I can truly be a hero. Signed, Daffy Duck.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughing] He’s going to lose it when he reads that. Doh! Hogan! Not again, Hogan! Get Col. Burkhalter on the phone! [laughing] I’m kind of a Hogan around here. And kind of, Jan is kind of Col. Burkhalter, then Dwight is Schultz. But, it’s… Oh, God. We have fun. We have fun. ‘Cause he’s gonna be pissed. [making voice] No doubt about it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are we going? [Dwight puts four fingers in front of the camera to start a countdown] Don’t do that. Just say action when we’re ready.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[mumbling] Should I… turn, no. Do it again.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi. I’m Michael Scott. I’m in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton, Pennsylvania but I’m also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over. Abraham Lincoln once said that, “If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.” And those are the principles… Damn it. Okay, sorry. Don’t laugh; please don’t laugh this time Dwight. You’re… it’s, it’s bugging me. Let me give myself a countdown, ready? Three, two, one.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just let me do it! God! Three, two, one. Hi. I’m Michael Scott. I’m in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton… Keep the camera steady please! People are gonna get sea sick watching this. Ready? Three, two, one.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t. Please don’t say anything. [sighs] Oh, God.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Could I count myself down please, Dwight. Three, two, one. Hi. I’m Michael Scott. I’m in charge of Dunder Mifflin Paper Products here in Scranton, Pennsylvania but I’m also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow, because today is almost over. Abraham Lincoln once said that, “If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North.” And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[wandering around the room during his diversity exercise] I want you to push it. I want you to push ’cause breakthroughs are right around the corner. Something’s going to pop here. Something’s going to pop between a party. Feel what it’s like to be in someone else’s skin. What does it feel like to be a different race? It feels pretty bad doesn’t it. So let that come out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I marched on Washington back in the day. I went to the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial, U.S. Mint, congressman talked to our class. It was pretty cool.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Talk like you’re talking to that race. I have a feeling that this could get kind of volatile. So keep it going. [camera shows Devon sitting outside with West Nile]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, okay. Here we go, breakthrough radar. What happened? What happened here?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, all right. Let’s keep on track. Keep on point. Let’s do it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Try my googi, googi. [Lowering voice] Try my googi, googi. [High-pitched voice] Try my googi, googi. Try my… [Kelly slaps Michael] All right! All right! Yes! That was great, she gets it! Kelly thank you. [claps] She’s not here, but she gets it. That’s what we have been looking for. The whole time. [trying not to cry] Oh, man. This is what I thrive on. You know? It’s like Don Rickles on acid, man. Right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What, huh?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s good. This is good. We got it happening now. All right? Let’s keep it rolling. Let’s round it up.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam. Pamela. Pam-elama-ding-dong. Making copies.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s go. Messages. Stat. Lots to do, lots to do. Information superhighway.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Lay them on me. What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s not what you said earlier.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The most sacred thing I do is care and provide for my workers, my family. I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but through the money. I heal them. Today, I am in charge of picking a great new health care plan. Right? That’s what this is all about. Does that make me their doctor? Um… Yes, in a way. Yeah, like a specialist.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am going to go with the best, Jan. I am going to go with the one with the acupuncture, therapeutic massage, you know, the works.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think it was you who didn’t look closely enough at the Gold Plan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I’d recommend it. It’s very good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You gotta crack these things open.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, that is kind of a tough assignment. Um… It won’t be popular decision around the old orifice.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, it’s a suicide mission, you know.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There, there…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[scoffs] When have you ever done that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jimbo! Ha haaaaa. Ah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s a decision that needs to be made, and I’m having an unbelievably a busy day. So I’m going to let you pick a health care plan for our office and then explain it to your co-workers.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, none. You’re picking a health care plan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You can use the conference room as a temporary workspace.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nope, you cannot use it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Temporary workspace. You can use it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If Dwight fails, then that is strike two, and good for me for, ah, for giving him a second chance. And if he succeeds, then, you know, no one will be prouder than I am. I groomed him. I made him what he is today. Unless he fails, and we’ve talked about that already.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on phone] Pam, Michael Scott. How’s tricks?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I am in my office. I am swamped. I have work up to my ears I’m busy, busy, busy. Can’t step away. I just wanted to check in and see how everybody’s doing. Everybody cool out there?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam! Whoa, whoa, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I, I, I, I gotta go. I’m getting a call.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have to make a call after I finish… my work. You know what? Uh, just don’t let anybody in my office under any conditions today. I’m just too busy. Too swamped, you know? I am unreachable. I am incommunicado, capisce?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you, Oh, gah, here we go again. Gotta go, I have to take this.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, uh, I would love to, but I am really busy. Rain check?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, what? Which memo?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Is it a good plan?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cuts? What? Wow, Dwight, did you make cuts?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no , no, you know what? I said nothing specific because I was so busy. Why don’t you go in there and find these people a plan that will work for them? OK?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK? All right. Do we feel good? All right. Good. Plus, there’s some other good news. Today, at the end of the day, I will have, for all of you, a big surprise. OK? So hang in there, and I will see you at the end of the day. Right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do I know what the surprise is? Hell no! It doesn’t matter. The point is, they’re not unhappy anymore. They’re out there thinking, “Wow, my boss really cares about me. He has a surprise. He’s cool. I… what a great guy. I love him. I… love him.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? Come with me. We are going on a little mission. Operation Surprise.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, headed out. Part of my busy day, you know. Meetings. [Giggles] Couldn’t find the knob.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So, basically, I want to do something nice for my employees. Atlantic City, OK? They have this thing where they send a bus, right, for free. Picks everybody up, you head down there, get to the hotel, room is comped, they give you a pile of chips, and your food, everything just kind of all-inclusive, free kind of weekend.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did, so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on his cell phone] Calling you to ask you a little favoroonie my friend. Um, trying to give the troops around here a little bit of a boost. And I was thinking that maybe we could take them down to take a spin on your big ride.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Its says here that it’s a 300ft drop.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So it’s not a free fall?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, all right. Well, once you get down into the mine, what… you got laser tag or something?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, so I don’t know what the surprise is. Am I worried? No. No way. See, I thrive on this. This is my world. This is improv. This is Whose Line is it Anyway?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, hey, everybody, Ice-cream sandwiches! Aaaahh! [laughs] Here you go. Take one, take one. It’s all good. Phyllis, think fast. Ya-bome! Oh, oh, I see Angela. Angela? Right? Waaaaah! Oh, hey temp. Why don’t you take two? Because you don’t get health care. And uh, faster metabolism.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why don’t you just eat it, OK? And here you go, Stanley the manly.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There you go.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, nope. Nope. This isn’t the surprise. It’s surprising, um… because you didn’t expect it. But you will… you’ll know it when you see it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[under his breath] Oh, Christ.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, what? You could be referring to anything.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, Dwight? Did you raise benefits?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh come on! That’s horrible! Aaah… Thanks, Dwight, for a crappy plan. Ah, Damn! Oh, mmm, I wish I had time to change it, but Jan needs it by five, and… what time is it, what time is it? [looks at watch] Ah, it’s after five. Oh, oh it’s awful. So, well, OK. See you guys on Monday.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… Yes. Exactly. Thank you Angela, for reminding me. Terrific. Um, before I tell everybody what the big surprise is, would you like to tell me what you think the big surprise is?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, I have some news for you. There is a big surprise. And… here it is. Here we go. And the big surprise is… Brrrrrrrr! Drum roll… Brrrrrrrr! Brrrrrrrr!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When I am backed into a corner, that is when I come alive. See I learned improve from the greats, like, um, Drew Carey and Ryan Stiles.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clapping hands] God, yeah… Ah! This…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Robin Williams. Oh, man, would I love to go head-to-head with him. Oh! That would be exciting. [as Robin Williams] “Hi. I’m Mork from Ork.” Well, I’m Bork from Spork. Nanoo, nanoo. Jibelee, baloobaloo.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sorry, too busy can’t even come to the door.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, no… [hurries to get up from chair]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what. I, um, I’m out the door. I’m going to a meeting. Pam, I’m headed out to another meeting. So see you later. Uh, here we go.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, it is time to call in a little favor. A buddy of mine runs this tourist attraction, actually it’s big. It’s probably one of the most popular in the state. So…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on his cell phone] Hey, hey Craigers, my man! It is Michael Scott here. [silence] Dunder Mifflin, we supply your office paper.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no. No, actually to ask you a little favoroonie my friend. Um, here’s the deal. Um, trying to give the troops here a little bit of a boost. And I was thinking that maybe we could bring them down to go on your big ride.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, it says here that it’s a 300ft drop.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So it’s not a free fall?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, okay. So um, once you get down into the mine, what do you do? Is it like, uh… Do you have laser tag down there or something?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s it?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, he’s a small client. They don’t really buy much.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ve really learned from the greats. The great improvisers, Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles, uh, the Brady guy not so much. He’s more the signing, Wayne Brady. Um, Robin Williams. Oh, man, would I love to go head-to-head with him. Oh! That would be exciting. [as Robin Williams] “Hi. I’m Mork from Ork.” Well, I’m Bork from Spork. Nanoo, nanoo. Jibelee, baloobaloo. [as Robin Williams] “That’s Good morning, Vietnam!” Well, hello to you. You know it would be… God. And you know what, sometimes when I’m watching somebody like um, like Jay Leno. He’ll be half way through his step [snaps his fingers] And I will already be laughing at the punch line. He hasn’t even gotten to it. He doesn’t even know what it is it. So it’s fun, you know it’s fun having a mind that works like that. That is just a few steps ahead of… comedically ahead of like what’s going on. Like I’ll watch T.V. and I’ll be watching a show and I will think, oh, I know someone’s gonna walk in here right now and say something funny. And then they do. Or, um, I know they’ll be like oh boy that person deserved to be slammed down. There’s going to be some sort of insult. And there is. You know, there’s like, “Oh you’re… God your butt is fat.” And I knew it. I know it’s like I knew they were going to say that. I knew they were gonna go there. Don’t go there. Um, but other… You know it’s like uh, you know Leno, um and Letterman, Carson, you know. Need I say more? No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’re all going bowling!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! God. Dwight, come on…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s no downsizing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Assistant to the regional manager Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look, look, look. I talked to corporate, about protecting the sales staff. And they said they couldn’t guarantee it if there’s downsizing, okay?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But there’s no downsizing, so just don’t…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm, mm, mm. Maybe.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It looks like there’s gonna be downsizing. And it’s part of my job, but… blah! I hate it. I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that, uh, I get no pleasure out of saying the words, “You’re fired.” [as Donald Trump] “You’re foir-ed. Uh, you’re foir-ed.” It just makes people sad, and an office can’t function that way. No way. [as Donald Trump] “You’re foir-ed.” I think if I had a catchphrase it would be, “You’re hired, and you can work here as long as you want.” But that’s unrealistic, so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Get set for Operation Morale Improvement starring Michael Scott. Now, I think I have had a little stroke of genius in that I have had my assistant Pam… Smile, Pam. I have had her go out and find out whose birthday is coming up, so we can have a little celebration for it. Not bad, not bad at all. All right. And the birthday person is… drum roll please. Here we go, who is the birthday, birthday person?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who is it? Who’s the birthday?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Next person on the…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…calendar.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes! All right, come on down Meredith!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um… uh, OK. Well, great, well, you know, it’ll be a surprise.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, why not? Sure. Go ahead, live a little. Come on, Pam. Come on, shake it up. Shake it up! Shake it up!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[grabs cell phone off desk] Brrrp! Uh, Spock, are there any signs of life down there? Well, let me check Captain. Eeee. Eeee. Eeee. Eeee. No, Captain. No signs of life down here. Just a wet blanket named Pam. Brr-rrrp. Star Trek.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "These are my party-planning beeyatches. Pulled off an amazing ’80s party last year. Off the hook!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So I was thinking, if you haven’t already got a cake, um, maybe going for one of those ice-cream cakes from Baskin-Robbins. Those are very good. Very Delicious.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "She’s not the only one that’s going to be eating it, right? I think everybody likes ice-cream cake. It’s not, uh, it’s not just about her, so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mint chocolate chip! That’d be good, how about some, mint chocolate chip?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to the camera] Can you get her? She’s right there. [camera zooms in on Meredith at here desk] That is Meredith, the birthday girl. And this… is Meredith’s card. Happy Bird-Day. [laughs] Um, let’s see. Jim, Jim wrote, “Meredith, I heard you’re turning 46, but, come on, you’re an accountant. Just fudge the numbers.” Not bad, pretty funny, I don’t appreciate condoning corporate fraud though. Uh, here’s the thing. Whatever I write here has to be really, really funny. Because people out there are expecting it. I’ve already set the bar really high. And they’re all worried about their jobs, you know. It’s kinda dark out there. Can you imagine if I wrote something like, uh, “Oh, Meredith. Happy Birthday. You’re great. Love, Michael.” [pretends to vomit and laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[staring at birthday card] Meredith, Meredith… Meri… Mary had a little lamb. Mary… Meredith had a little lamb. Don’t bring that lamb to work or it’ll poop on the floor.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Oscar! Come on in. What’s up?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, not at all. Come on in. What’s going on?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, God. Of course I would. Get it over here. Get that over here.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I’m always good… for some serious buckage. Wow. Two dollars, three dollars? People out here do not care about diseases. I am going to give you… $25.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, my gosh, well… Listen, Oscar, generosity and togetherness and community all convalescences into… morale. That’s what I say, so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[looking at birthday card] Meredith, bad breath. Meredith has bad breath.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. What do you know about Meredith?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s not going to be downsizing Dwight, OK? I just, I need to know a little bit more about my friend.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know all that. I know all that. I just, I need something kind of embarrassing, you know. Kind of fun, inside.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs] Which one is that again?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh God! Dwight, no. I’m trying to write something funny. What am I going to do with a removed uterus?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what, I am on a deadline here, and just… OK. Thanks, thanks for your help. I’ll work it out. Thank you Dwight. That was a waste of time.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Almost there. Just a sec. Just a second. It is perfect, thank you. Excellent, here we go. It is time, thank you. OK, come on. Let’s go! Get the cake. Here we go. Come on! Shhh. Be quiet.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s surprise Meredith. One, two…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Find a key.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And many more!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You were surprised, weren’t you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You looked freaked, man. We said “Surprise.” You were, like, “What?” “What the hell’s goin’ on here?” Good cake. Why don’t you have some?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on. A little bit.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, right. God, too bad. It’s so good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? If I were allergic to dairy, I think I’d kill myself. ‘Cause this is way, way too good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jim, good party, huh? Just a little something I whipped up. You know, a little morale boost. No big deal.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you know, money isn’t everything Jim. It’s not the key to happiness. You know what is? Joy. You should remember that. Maybe you’ll give more than three dollars next time.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Is Oscar around?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just thought it was kind of a flat, you know… 25 dollar, one-time donation. I didn’t think it was per mile kinda deal. You know, so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right. Got it. Yes. So it does. Um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no, no. That wasn’t what I wasn’t, that wasn’t… No. It-it-it’s not about the money. It’s just… it… it’s the ethics of the thing, Oscar. How’s your nephew? Is he in good shape?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How many miles did he do last year?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Son of a bitch. That is impressive.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Read it out loud. And say who wrote everything so we know whose is the best.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[under his breath] I don’t know about that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[pretends to vomit] Huh! Thanks, downer.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because of the downsizing. Rumors. And because you’re gettin’ old.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs] You didn’t get the joke. So, that’s cool. That’s, you know what? Actually… I have a bunch of these, good ones, that I didn’t use. Um… Oh, where’s that? Oh, OK, here’s a good one. Um… “Hey Meredith, Liz Taylor called, she wants her age back and her divorces back.” ‘Cause Meredith’s been divorced like, twice. Is that right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Divorce. Um… OK, “Meredith is so old…”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Everybody? If… could do it? “Meredith is so old…”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“She’s so old, she went into an antique store and they kept her.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That wasn’t even mine. I got that off the Internet. Website. Um, don’t get mad at me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This isn’t my fault. Ladies, not your best effort. The streamers? I think we could have done better than that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, we… all right. People, hold on, hold on. Just a second. OK, I think we’re losing sight of what is really important here. And that is that we are… a group of people… who work together. I was… I really wasn’t gonna flaunt this. I have made a very sizable donation to Oscar’s nephew’s… walkathon. $25.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Per mile, yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When I retire, I… don’t want to just disappear to an island somewhere. I wanna be the guy who gives everything back.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "A check for the kids, and for the team.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I want it to be like… “Hey, who donated that hospital wing that is saving so many lives?” “Um, well, I don’t, I don’t know. It was anonymous.” “Well, guess what, [whispering] that was Michael Scott.” “But it was anonymous, how do you know?” “Because I’m him.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come here. [hugs Oscar and In a low voice] Don’t cash that till Friday, OK?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All righty then, well I see you’re going for the whole bored supermodel thing. “Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. May I help you?” [takes a drag from an imaginary cigarette] Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no. I get it, I get it, I get it. A child is born, “Oh, oh-hum.” A beautiful sunset, “No, I’ll catch the next one.” Right? Unicorn walks into the office, “Oh, do you have an appointment?” [laughs] Okay, look Pam this is not meant as a criticism, but let me tell you what you’re doing wrong. You are the voice of this company, right? And when clients call and you’re not smiling they can hear that in your voice. It is a real turnoff.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, I am, absolutely. So, the next call we get I’d like you to smile. I’d like to see a big smile.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. [waits for call]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, somebody will. And we’ll wait.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, I know, we will wait.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We will wait for the call and you will smile. Let me try something, just while we’re waiting.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Tell me if I’m smiling or not. [covers face with hands] Hi Pam, how are you? Was I smiling?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, let me try this one. [covers face with hands] Hi Pam, how are you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I mean you can tell.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I wasn’t smiling that time and they can tell too.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you. All right, when we get a call I’ll come back and you’ll do the smile.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Show time! It’s show time!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do a poem for Meredith’s birthday or uh, limerick. Limerick. Um, [knock on door] there was a girl from Dunder Mifflin. Come on in. Who had a big, smifflin.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, not at all come on in. [Toby signing the birthday card] No, no. You can’t. No, red hair is my area. We have it on tape, so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I was going to put that in my message, Toby. All right? So just cross it off. Cross it off, now. [Toby writes on birthday card] What are you doing? Oh come on, you’re ruining it. Toby, come on. Just, look at that. That’s wrecked. Ass. Get some white out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s my white out. Get your own white out. Just… what’s the matter with you? God. [Toby leaves] Okay, um, there was a girl from Dunder Mifflin. Who had a big, puttifflin. [thinking out loud] Mifflin, spifflin.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, yeah. What do you know about Meredith?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s not going to be downsizing Dwight, OK? I just, I need to know a little bit more about my friend.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know all that. I know all that. I just, I need something kind of embarrassing, you know. Kind of fun, inside.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Which one is that again?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh God! Dwight, no. I’m trying to write something funny here, okay. What am I going to do with a removed uterus?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sighs] Come up with a joke that I can use, okay?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Help me out here.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, not a uterus joke Dwight. Please. Something useable. A joke.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s not going to be downsizing, Dwight. You know what, I am on a deadline here and just, okay. Thanks. Thanks for your help. I’m… I’ll work it out. Thank you Dwight. [Dwight leaves] Thanks for coming in, that’s always… Always helpful when I give him a call. Call him in.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Meredith. Oh, oh man, ah gosh. I can’t remember why I came over here. Ha, ha.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know. Ugh, that is so annoying. [makes fart noise] Brain fart. By the way, do you remember any funny interactions we may have had recently that I’ve forgotten about? Just, you know we bumped into each and you said, “Brr, brr.” And I went, “Argh, Argh.” You know? Anything? [shakes her head ‘no’] Well, if you think of something, let me know. ‘Cause I like to know. ‘Cause I’m going crazy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oscar, uh for future reference just think you should know, that you should probably make it clear that your nephew is doing the walkathon and that he doesn’t actually have cerebral palsy. Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no. I know you didn’t intend to, but I just I got the idea and I, uh, I just don’t it has a lot of ethical merit to make people think something. You know? And then prey on their emotions.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, hey it’s just kinda uncool, okay? I, just… Play fair, you know, play fair.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because of the downsizing. Rumors. And because you’re gettin’ old.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs] You didn’t get the joke. So, that’s cool. That’s, you know what? Actually… I have a bunch of these, good ones, that I didn’t use. Um… Oh, where’s that? Oh, Okay, here’s a good one. Um…”Hey Meredith, Liz Taylor called, she wants her age back and her divorces back.” ‘Cause Meredith’s been divorced like, twice. Is that right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Divorce. Um… Okay, “Meredith is so old…”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If everybody… could do it? “Meredith is so old…”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“She’s so old, she went into an antique store and they kept her.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clears throat] What’s the difference between Meredith and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson’s surgery was unnecessary.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes! Thank you. God. She gets it. [laughs] We just picked the best one right? Just had it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, no, no. Come on. No. Don’t comfort… don’t comfort her, that’s not… She doesn’t need comforting. We’re just joking around. I think she’s… No that’s very unprofessional. I think she’s being very unprofessional over there.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Jim] Hey, you ready?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, all right, secret sign. Hey, Ryan. [Ryan holds up his bag] Very good. Excellent, excellent.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Today at lunchtime we’re going to be playing the warehouse staff at a friendly little game of basketball. My idea. Last time I was down there, I noticed they’d put up a couple of hoops, and I play basketball every weekend. So I thought, “This might be kinda fun.” And so I started messing around and… I’m sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans! So… you know, it’s really just a good friendly game, a reason to get together.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, Pam, thank you ma’am. Messages, please. Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. And that’s not me being mean, Dwight. That is based on your past behavior.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to camera] When I let him come to my pick-up game…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Dwight] I vouched for you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I vouched for you in front of Todd Packer, Dwight. All right, here’s what I’m going to do. The hand strikes and gives a flower. You are not going to play basketball. But I need somebody to come in and take over the holiday and weekend work calendar.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. Excellent, it’ll be fun. Because corporate, uh, wants someone to be here on Saturday. And so we’re going to have to have some people come in on the weekend, and I know nobody’s gonna want to do it and I know everybody’s gonna complain and bitch and I don’t want to have to deal with that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes it is. Assistant to the regional manager.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, it’s not. It’s lower, so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, managing by walking around. This is our warehouse. Or, as I like to call it, the whorehouse. But don’t you call it that, I’ve earned the right.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And here we have “Mister Roger’s Neighborhood.” Come on over here. Hey, this is Ryan. He’s temping upstairs.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And this is the foreman. Mista Ra-jahs.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, it’s Darryl. Darryl is Mista Ra-jahs.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs] And that is Lonny. And this is Roy. Roy dates Pam. You know, the uh, the best looking one upstairs.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You still getting it regular man? Huh? I mean, I can tell her it’s part of the job! Rapport!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So, um, one o’clock sharp and we’ve got a game on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I see, you’re chickening out on me. You’re bailing on me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, well, I’m glad that some time is a busy time because whenever I’m down here it doesn’t seem too busy to me. Oh, oh. You can dish it out, but you can’t take it. OK, fine, have it your way. [clucking and dancing like a chicken]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, see you at one.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are we ready for the game?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I… yeah, yeah. I know, grumble, grumble. But you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling all the way. Like that, uh, dwarf from Lord of the Rings.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nerd. That is why you’re not on the team.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, [in a nerdy voice] “I’ll help, Elwyn Dragonslayer, uh, ten points, power sword.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, so, let’s put together a starting line-up, shall we? Stanley of course.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, what do you play? Center?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, I don’t know. I don’t remember saying that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, people hear a lot of things, man. Um… other starters… Me, of course. I heard it that time.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[ignores Phyllis)] Um… Yeah. Who else? We have Jim. We have Ryan, the new guy, right? Untested. Willing to prove himself now. A lot of passion, a lot of heart.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, this is business. The, uh, business of team building and morale boosting. Uh, who else?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we box.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, ridiculous.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Close. All right, uh… Me, Stan the man, Jim, Ryan and Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sorry Phyllis.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I’m team captain.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I am the team manager. You can be assistant to the team manager.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 38 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 40 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jim, you’re in charge of the vacation schedule now.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 42 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Threat neutralized.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 44 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[hits Pam in the head with a piece of paper] Off the backboard!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, Pam with a zinger. Hey, Pam, how would you, like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some, ah, pigtails? A little, ah, halter top, you could tie that up. And you know, something a little, just, youthful, for a change. Just this once?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I bet you would. Just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know, not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad-at-sports way. I think that goes without saying.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, yeah right.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, yuck, that’s worse than you playing. … ‘Cause we need you as an alternate in case somebody gets hurt. That’s where we need you. Blessed be those who sit and wait. You made it, suit up, you’re on the team! All right, cool! Very good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh-oh. Oh-oh. A spy from the warehouse. Trying to figure out our plays, huh, man?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh ho, oh, he’s running. He’s running. He’s running, but he can’t hide because you know what? One o’clock, you better bring your ‘A’ game. Because me, and my, posse guys are gonna be in your face. Right in your face!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whoa-ho. I like the way you think. You know what, I’m gonna take that one step further. Loser, works, on Saturday.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. Cool, you’re on. [to Dwight] Don’t screw this up.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to camera] Classic beginner’s mistake, eating before a game.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, there he is! Secret weapon! All right, guys, come on, let’s bring it in! Here we go! OK, listen, this is just going to be a friendly game, right? We are all on the same team here, the Dunder Mifflin team. Of course, if you beat us, you’re fired. That’s a joke. OK, let’s do it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, everybody stretch out a little bit. Stretch it. Full stretch. Ryan, you wanna stretch?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, Ryan, you have Darryl. I have Roy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Actually, I think Roy is their best player not Lonny. So, Dwight, you uh, have the East German gal. Uh, who else we got… Um…OK, all right, you guys.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Aw, come on Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "On. Just put it on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. Uh, Pam? You kind of have your foot in both camps, why don’t you do the uh, jump ball OK?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stanley! What? You gotta be kidding me! !?! [Roy steals the ball, and goes for a lay up] Oh… Here we go! [Lonny shoots and makes it] Who’s on him? Somebody get him!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Over here, over here. [Jim saves the ball from going out of bounds and passes to Michael] Here we go. Three! [Shoots and misses] Let’s go to the zone! We’re going to zone!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who’s got Roy? [Jim does a behind the back move around Roy for the basket]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[misses a half court shot] Aw, come on! What is wrong with me today!? Usually hit those. [Dwight scores] Dwight, I was open. All right, let’s go.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Roy bumps Michael to get around him] OK, foul. Charging. Charging. That’s a foul.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, I’ll take it. [misses free throw] OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When I am playing hoops all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away. It’s gone, I’m in the zone.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[misses another shot] What is wrong with me today?!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who am I? Am I Michael Scott? I don’t know… I might just be a basketball machine. What’s Dunder Mifflin? I’ve never heard of it. Filing? Paperwork? Who cares? Possible downsizing? Um… well, that’s probably gonna happen, actually.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jim! Jim! Jim, right here, Jim! Give me the ball! Ryan, cut! [Michael looks away and misses Jim’s pass] Whoa!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is cool. Is that like the Robot?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Ryan scores] Nice! Come here! [gives Ryan a chest bump]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on! Hey, Dwight. Dwight!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? Dwight, Dwight…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Football is like rock and roll, it’s just bam-bam-boo… And basketball is like jazz, you know? You’re kind of… Dupee-doo, dupee-do. It’s all downbeat, it’s in the pocket, it’s like… [singing] Dupee-do, dupee-do, dapee-dah…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Du-du-du-du-dupee-do, de-do-do-do. Harlem Globetrotter…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, time, time out. Come on, sales, over here. Bring it in! Come on!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s going on? What’s going on? You’re playing like a bunch of girls.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, switch. Take it up a notch, come on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shoot, shoot it. [Roy hits Jim in the mouth with his elbow] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Foul! Naked aggression! Oh, that is… You all right Jim? Suck it up.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Jim makes a shot after pushing off Roy] Ouch! Oh, how much does it hurt? How much does it hurt?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Jim pushes Roy to the ground and makes another shot] Yes!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Darryl scores] Watch the long passes, you guys!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Phyllis scores] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! In, your, face! Angela, what’s the score?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, baby, here we go!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Jim has the ball] Jim! Jim! Right here! [runs into the elbow of the guy guarding him] Ow! God! Hold it!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Foul! Foul!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, that hurts.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s your problem man? Gah, just clocking me for no reason?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no. That was a flagrant, personal, intentional foul. Right there.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[mocking voice] Yes, it was. You know what, I’m just being fair.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Game over. Game over. That is it! I’m sorry, you know? I hate to do it this way but, you know, that’s just… we’re having a friendly game. It’s a shame. This is a damn shame, but we’re like a family here and that just, that won’t fly.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thanks Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, let’s just say whoever was ahead won.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It was us? Really? I didn’t, I didn’t know. Great, I mean, I guess you guys are working Saturday. Your face.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um… well, you guys, you know, I’m the boss so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, hey…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughing] You guys believed me? Come on. Dogs, you know, you should know me better than that. No, oh, do you think that would’ve been good for morale? No. No. No. Exactly, no. I’m embarrassed it was even that close though. So… nah, of course, we’re coming in Saturday. Good game. Word.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, what a game, huh? What a game.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on. Let’s not be gloomy here man. We’re all in this together. We’re a team. You know what? Screw corporate, nobody’s coming in tomorrow. You have the day off. Like coming in an extra day is gonna prevent us from being downsized. Have a good weekend.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The great thing about sports is that it is all about character. And you can learn lessons about life even if you don’t win. But we did because we were ahead.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[slams palms on desk] Pam, Pam, thank you ma’am. Messages, please. Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, yes. Thank you for noticing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, they look that good? Wow. [Mike Myers voice] Oh, Pam please behave. Mike Myers, genius. Um, no actually I got them at a fancier place. Target.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, yes. Assistant to the regional manager.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, it’s not. It’s lower.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What was that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That look?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Like trying to find the camera, to give the camera a look. Okay, we’re done. Is that your stomach? I keep hearing somebody’s stomach. [whispers] God.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So, you uh, see the Sixers game last night?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[howls like a wolf] Oww whoo whoo! The Answer was on fire!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, man! Man I tell ya. Iverson has maybe got me beat by like 20 pounds, 3 inches. [makes ‘pop’ noise with his mouth]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, neither am I. We both look good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do I have a nickname on the court, um? Well, The Answer would be nice, but it’s taken. So, uh, probably The Question. The Answer dishes to The Question. The Question back to The Answer. Answer over to The Question. The Answer, whew, [makes shooting motion] three points. The Question, whew, whew, [makes shooting motion] six points. Nothing but net. Question, who’s the best player in the league? Answer, The Question. Or the Drunkmeister.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Packer. Pac-man.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pac-man [imitating the noises of the video game Pac-man eating dots]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not your lover! I’m am not Michael Scott, I am Dr. Bergerstein. Your proctologist.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, yes. Ah. [laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s not a Jewish joke, so don’t worry.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clears throat] No, hey, hey , hey. You know what I just wanted to remind you about the game today. One ‘o clock. Big game, big game.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm. No, you said you could man. We’re counting on ya. You know you’re playing point guard.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. Hey… I mean, although it’s just for fun, you know we want… I was counting on you man.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[misses a free throw badly] I… I think you can play. Like you could when you were a kid. I think you can never give up the play. Because if people stop playing, then they stop living. It’s like a shark. If a shark stops playing he stops living. And sharks are very playful creatures.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Birdie. He’s not the guy with the cheeks. Kenny G. Is… if you knew jazz, you’d know who I mean. Kenny G. God. Glad I remembered that. Jazz people know who he is.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[back to the basketball game] Dwight, pass it to Jim! Pass it to Ryan!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stanley, gotta play hurt.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just want you know, you’ve been a big disappointment to me today, okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m in. I’m in. Here we go. [Lonny gets around Michael to score and he ends up in front of Phyllis] Zone, Phyllis! We’re playing zone!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes! Yes! All right. We got game!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Affirmative.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You just said, let me uh… check my notes. You just said…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, hey how is Alan? Tell Alan that the Mets suck! Okay? From me, big time. Go Pirates!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, huh.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whoa. Howdy-ho. Wow, a thousand big ones. That’s cool. Do I uh, do I get to pick the prize?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, question: Does top salesman include uh, people who were at one time such outstanding salesman that’ve been promoted to…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t mean me!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, first what we have to do is find out what motivates people more than anything else.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s illegal. Can’t do that. Next best thing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Tah, come on Dwight. Just help me out here. That’s just stupid.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Burger with cheese!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And fries!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And shake! What? Go ahead.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no. No vendors in the office. That is a distraction.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam. Pam. Come on, I’m busy. So just tell her to go away.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[exhales loudly, looks out window and sees Katy] Oooh, alright I’ll talk to her.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right girls break it up, you’re being infiltrated. Cock in the henhouse.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t say cocks. Oh, what is your name, my fair lass?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, Katy. Wow. Look at you. You are, uh you’re like the new and improved Pam. Pam 6.0.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, look. Oh hey, no catfights you two. I’m against violence in the workplace.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nobody cares what you think.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So uh, you know what? I usually don’t allow solicitors in the office but today I am going to break some rules, and you can have the conference room. It’s yours. All day.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, lets put ’em in the hallway. Give ’em some chairs. Right? Decisiveness. One of the keys to success according to Small Businessman.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I do. I read Small Business man. I also uh, subscribe to USA Today and American Way Magazine, that’s the in-flight magazine. Some great articles in that. They did this great profile last month of Doris Roberts and where she likes to eat when she’s in Phoenix. Illuminating.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is my conference room. So please, uh, make yourself at home. Whatever you need, I’m right on the other side of this wall. [knocks on wall] used to be a window here. There’s not anymore. So, that’s where I will be.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So if you need anything else, something to make you more confortable just don’t hesitate to ask. I’m right here.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wait a second. I should have spotted another addict. Uh, gotta love the ‘bucks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s like a slang for Starbucks. They’re all over the place. Oh, man, that place is like the promised land to me. What a business model too. Ah, too bad we don’t have the good stuff here.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nah, it’s not. it’s spppplllibbb", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, here’s the thing. Y’know I do my best to be my own man and go by the beat of a different drummer and nobody gets me, and they’re always putting up walls and I’m always tearing ’em down, just breakin’ down barriers, that’s what I do all day. So a coffee, regular coffee for you. High test, or unleaded?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. Woo, I will. I will bring it on. Ah, all right.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[handing Katy a mug of coffee] There ya go. Nice steaming cup o’joe.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have an idea. Why don’t I introduce you around, you know you can kind of get your foot in the door, meet potential clientele, right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, um, well, we could have Ryan take a look. Ryan, would you look after the purses, please?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, well, bladdy-bluda-blah-blah. Techno-babble. Just do it, okay. We have company. Right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You should sell a lot here because this branch made over a million dollars last year. Not that we’re all millionaires. I’m probably closest. So here’s Oscar. Oscar, this is Katy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oooh-ooh. Oscar the grouch. Right? I thought of that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know. I know. I made the connection. Can you believe he’d never heard that before he worked here?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, it’s unbelievable.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here is Toby from Human Resources. Katy, Toby.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Toby, Katy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Toby’s divorced. He uh, guh recently, right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You and your wife, and you have kids.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh that so – that was really messy. He slept one night in your car too?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Alright. Cool. See ya in a bit. [looks at picture on Toby’s desk] Oh, she’s cute. Cutie-pie. Back to work.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I live by one rule. No office romances. No way. Very messy. Inappropriate. No. But, I live by another rule: Just do it. Nike.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Giggle-giggle, juji-juji, I get it, I get it. Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood over here right? [to Katy] So how’s that uh, coffee from earlier?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, I knew it. Guzzled it down. You greedy little thing. So, uh, Pam is this your lunch break, or was that earlier when you were eating in the kitchen with those guys?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Busted.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh hey, I want to show you something. Come here I want to show you something. I know you are going to like this. Picked it up today. A thousand big ones.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. This is a Starbucks digital barista. This is the mack daddy of espresso makers.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I know what you’re thinking. You’re not prying this out of my hands, but don’t tempt me because I’ll give it to you!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office. It’s a drug. It is quite literally a drug that speeds people up. It’s not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the eighties before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. Guh. Man, did they move paper!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Katy reading text message on her phone] Oh the rotating um, steam wand. [Katy looks annoyed] What? What’s the matter?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, oh! God. I’m sorry. Is there…?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Where you going? Nearby? Because I can give you a ride.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Seriously. No, really.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "God! No, no, no, no. No inconvenience. I mean I’m out of here at five sharp.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I can go earlier. ‘Cause I’m the boss. You know, whatever. I’m out of here slaves.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Sounds good. Sounds good. Five o’clock sharp. I will give you and your purses a ride home.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Excellent.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Great. Cool. Cool. [takes deep breath – looks at camera] Yeah, okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I should have never let the Temp touch this thing. I had all these great icons and now I have four folders. So..", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No it’s not. Because I could just click on the icon and then I’m onto—", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no it’s not against the rules. She’s not a permanent employee so it’s not.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But I think you should just know that I am going to be giving her a ride home later.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "She asked me for a ride and so I am going to give her a ride home.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, might be a ride home. Might be a ride home and we stop for coffee and dot-dot-dot…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. I cannot promise you that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Listen, Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs] Dwight, no. I don’t know. It’s too early to tell. I don’t know how I feel. [Dwight sadly looks away]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Espresso?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re welcome. Thank you. Hmmm-hmm-hmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ummm-hmmm…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Very easy to clean.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Like he’s going to win anyway, right? [laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did we get any mail?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes you did. Yes, you did. Just checkin’. Just checkin’, double checkin’, checkin’ on the check. Thoroughness is very important in an office and…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, yeah, of course. Uh, Pam, one more thing. Um, how do girls your age feel about futons?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ryan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Would you like to help me with a special project?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in Michael’s car] Okay, just throw out all the empties.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, yes. Throw them away in the recycling bin.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, what flavor?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Blue’s not a flavor.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, Blue Blast. Yes, put that in the trunk, and there should be an unopened Arctic Chill back there. I want that in the passengers cupholder. Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What, stop! Whoa! That’s my Drakkar Noir.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, it is a perfect smell-alike. I’m not paying for the label. Right here. Give it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not it’s not, there’s some in the straw. [Michael opens bottle and wipes straw along his neck] There, now you may throw it out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s over several months, Ryan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think in order to be a ladies man, it’s imperative that people don’t know you’re a ladies man, so I kind of play that close to the chest. I don’t know, what can I say? Women are attracted to power. And I think other people have told me that I have a very symmetrical face. [laughs] I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe they’re right? I don’t know.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sure you don’t want me to help you with that? Cause I can grab that no problem.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "See you later. Goodnight. Goodnight, Jim.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Where you going?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "With us?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Great. Off the hook. Excellent. Okay, cool.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, have fun.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t drink and drive.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Take it easy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You too, have a good night.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do I have a special someone? Uh well, yeah of course. A bunch of ’em. My employees. If I had to choose between a one-night-stand with some stupid cow I pick-up in a bar, and these people? I’d pick them every time. Because with them, it is an everyday stand and I still know their names in the morning.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight. Dwight. Dwight! Okay, that’s it. Keep it in your pants.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, don’t do that. Where are your glasses?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "He wears glasses. Did you know that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, now suddenly he can see. [laughs] Okay, take off. See ya. Bye-bye. [gives coffee to Katy] There you go steaming hot cup of joe.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I know your hero. Yeah, saving you from Animal Planet Jack over there. [laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, yeah he is the worst.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s the um, saying, “once their laughing they’re… that’s… Once they’re laughing that’s 50 percent of them being horizontal. So, not that I’m just… Not that that’s my… that’s what I’m trying to do, but I think it helps kind of melts the ice. Breaks the ice, melts… Breaks the ice and melts them. Melts their hearts.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you, Al Gore… for the Internet. Can send messages from one side the global to the other in the blink of an eye. Can you believe we couldn’t do that ten years ago?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right, but 20 years ago we couldn’t and that is amazing. Here’s Toby from Human Resources. This is Katy. Toby, Katy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[talking over Toby and Katy] Toby’s divorced. God, that’s hard. That really ripped you up. She got the kids right? That’ll damage ya. Sorry man. That’s uh, that’s a bad one. How much you paying her? What can, you can’t even afford anything now, right? You’re all right though, right? Don’t ask me for a raise. [laughs] Cup of Soup’s a good idea though. That’ll… that’s a good budgetary thing to do.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, they’re good snacks. They’re good food, good meals, good lunch. Roman noodles are good too. You still sleepin’ in the car?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "‘Cause he slept in the car a couple times.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are you still taking the antidepressants? ‘Cause it was a good idea. ‘Cause it’ll help. It’ll help, man.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. I’ll see you in a bit. [whispering] She’s pretty cute isn’t she? See you in a bit.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. That’s looking good. Hey um, Ryan do you have any music I can borrow.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, I know, everything really. I love it all. I love music.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, I love both of those so much. A lot of ’em.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm hmm. I like ’em.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. God. They’re awesome.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh huh. Yup. That last thing they did was great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cool, so maybe hook me up with some Fleebulls and some Hive.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. This is gonna be good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Tonight is the Dundies, the annual employee awards night here at Dunder Mifflin. [holds up a trophy of a business man] And this is everybody’s favorite day. Everybody looks forward to it, because, you know, a lot of the people here don’t get trophies, very often. Like Meredith or Kevin, I mean, who’s gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin’ Donuts? Plus, bonus, it’s really, really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he’ll tell his neighbor, “Hey, did you get an award?” And the neighbor will say, “No man. I mean, I slave all day and nobody notices me.” Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from neighbor’s house. Neighbor’s hanged himself due to lack of recognition. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in a Fat Albert voice] Hey hey hey! It’s Fat Halpert.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in Fat Albert voice] Fat Halpert. [in normal voice] Jim Halpert.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So why don’t I take you on a tour of past Dundie winners. We got Fat Jim Halpert here. Jim, why don’t you show of your Dundies to the camera?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, that’s a good idea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Gyaaah. T.M.I. T.M.I my friends.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "T.M.I.? Too much information. Ah, it’s just easier to say T.M.I. I used to say “Don’t go there” but that’s… lame.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And here we have Stanley the Manly. Now Stanley is a Dundie all-star, aren’t you Stan? Why don’t you, ah, show them some of your bling.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, no you di-int.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "W-why did you…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes we should. I… you know what? I wanted one of those skillets of cheese, but when I got off stage, [turns to Kevin] someone had eaten all of them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in video] To Oscar Martinez it’s the “Show Me the Money” award! Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in video] He has the award-ah! …it’s a type of song that we are going to play for the ladies. Hit it, Dwight!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing along to tune on video] A little bit of Paaam, all night long, a little bit of Angela on the thing…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in video]…a little bit of Phyllis everywhere…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on video] …a little bit of Roooy eating chicken crispers… …a little bit of Jim with some ribs, a little bit of…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[talking to the speakerphone] Will her highness, Jan Levinson-Gould, be descending from her corporate throne this evening to visit us lowly serfs here at Dunder Mifflin Scranton?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you could take the bus. You could work on the way here. Sleep on the way home.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wuh… Come on, Jan. This is important. I mean, this is, this is, validation to my employees here that you and corporate approve of this. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to camera] Could you…?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I’m here, I just wanted to, uh, talk to you for a second about that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, what, ah, what is, I mean…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…come on, Jan!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re dropping an A-Bomb on me here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, yeah, I mean, what is…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No reason?! It was the 05 05 05 party…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…it happens once every billion years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, no, that was a FUN raiser. I think I made that very clear in the fliers, fun, F-U-N.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I think a lot of people were very affected by the footage.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is a little character I like to do [places a green turban with a yellow feather on his head], it is, uh, loosely based on Karnack, one of Carson’s classic characters. [puts an envelope to his head] Here we go. The PLO, the IRA, and the hot dog stand behind the warehouse. [tears open envelope and pulls out card] “Name three businesses that have a better health care plans than Dunder Mifflin.” Here’s the problem. There’s no open bar because of Jan and it’s the reason why comedy clubs have a two drink minimum. It’ll be fine, I just…wish people were going to be drunk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in video] The Dundie award for “Longest Engagement” goes to Pam Beesley.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, everybody! [starts clapping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whoooo! When is that girl gonna get married? That’s what I have to say. Ah, Roy’s accepting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on video] Thank you Roy. Are there any words you’d like to say, on Pam’s behalf?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on video] Yeah, oh, hope not! Oh God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not changing that, it’s the best one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s why it’s funny. Every year that Roy and Pam don’t get married, it gets funnier.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, [taking it to heart] lazy. Uh huh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, well, that’s just ridiculous, so just don’t, I-I don’t have time for this right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just don’t, don’t talk-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t talk-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just STAP IT YAP IT!!!!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, look, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around about the Dundies this year. How there is no money, and how there is no food, and how the jokes are really bad, but WHAT THE HELL EVERYBODY!? I mean, God. The Dundies are about the best, in every, one of us. Can’t you see that? I mean, okay, we can do better. so, tonight, for the first time, we are inviting all of your friends and family to attend the awards with us.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, not bad, right? So let’s make this the best Dundies ever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“The Dundies, how can I explain it? Awards you like to hate it. I’m psyched you all made it. You never had to work so hard and feel that no one notices you. You’re just a name and number and no one even says hello.” [to Ryan] Card!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“You down with The Dundies? You down with the Dundie-“", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, alright, joke landed. So we are here, thank you all for coming to the 2005 Dundie awards. [takes off sweater to reveal tuxedo] I am your host, Michael Scott. And I just want to tell you please, please, do not drink and drive. Because you may hit a bump and spill the drink!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nope, actually this year, ah, no group tab, we’re going to be doing separate checks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I did. And why didn’t ya Stanley?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I’m looking forward to meeting Terri.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Dwight, in a low voice] Shut it. [normal voice] Um, good. Speaking of relationships, of all, all way shapes and forms. Um, I was out on a very, very hot date with a girl from HR, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, that…for the sake of the story. And things were getting hot and heavy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And I was about to take her bra off…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…when she made me fill out six hours of paperwork-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No! [under his breath] God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clears throat] Alright, so let’s get this party staaaarrrrted.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, guys, where you going? Pam, show’s just getting started.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And now… to someone who quietly goes about their job, but always seems to land the biggest accounts…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…the “Busiest Beaver” award goes to Phyllis Lapin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, way to go Phyllis. Nice work, per usual.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What? I told them busiest…idiots.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, we’ll fix it up. You don’t have to display that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in a stereotypical oriental accent] Herro everybodeeee. I’m gonna cwall Jan Revinson-Gould.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[doing impression] Oh, dat wir be fwar. Ah, me so horny.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right? You know wat I’m talking ’bout.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This next award goes to somebody, who really, lights up the office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Somebody, who I think a lot of us, cannot keep, from checking out. The “Hottest in the Office” award goes to… …Ryan the temp!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. [singing to music] “Hidy ho, you sexy thang. You sexy thang you.” Here you go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And the “Tight Ass” award goes to Angela. Not only because she is everybody’s favorite stickler, but because she has, a great caboose. So…come on down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The “Spicy Curry” award goes to our very own Kelly Kapoor! Get on up here. Here you go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, not everything means something, it’s just a joke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know, it’s just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know. It’s ju- they didn’t have any more businessmen. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just sit down Kelly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sweaty and chugging water from a bottle] It’s so freakin’ hot in there. Now I know what Bob Hope was going through when he performed in Saudi Arabia. Man! I got Dwight sucking the funny out of the room, but you do what you can do. [Music starts playing in the background] Here we go, he’s early with the cue. Here we go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Michael is singing to the tune of “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John] “You have won a tiny Dundie.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, thanks guys. Hey, where you guys from?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, alright, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, you know what guys, we’re just having a little office party, so if you want, uh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Something flies by Michael] Hey, you know, cool it guys, really-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s cut it. [Dwight turns the music off]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clears throat] [with a lot less enthusiasm] I had a few more Dundies to, uh, give out tonight, but, I’m just going to cut it short. And wrap it up so everybody can enjoy their food. Um…thanks for listening, those who listened. [clears throat] This last Dundie is for Kevin, this is the “Don’t Go in There After Me” award. It’s for the time that I went into the bathroom after him, and it was really, really smelly. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[give Kevin his award]There you go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[getting his spirit back] Alright, alright, alright, okay. Alright, we’ll keep rolling. Okay, this is the fine work award. This goes to Stanley, for all the fine work he did this year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know you did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And this next award is going out to our own little Pam Beesley…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…I think we all know what award Pam is going to be getting this year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It is the “Whitest Sneakers” award! Because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Get on down here! Pam Beesley ladies and gentlemen! [Pam grabs the microphone from him] Oh, here we go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam Beesley ladies and gentleman. [Pam hugs Michael and gives him a quick peck on the cheek] Oh! Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Was this year’s Dundies a success? Well, let’s see, I made Pam laugh so hard, that she fell out of her chair, and she almost broke her neck. So I killed, almost.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Great work tonight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Excellent.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, that too, but I mean with the audio. Great work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "TMI. Too much information. I used to say, “Don’t go there,” but that is so lame now. Or, “You go, girl.” Or… Um, when did “Where’s the beef?” That was, like, a long, long time ago. It’s funny how the shelf life of these things, like how long they last, like, “Too much information” probably came on the scene… I mean, I didn’t hear it till, like, this month, so it’s pretty recently. Um, but you know, they’re generally good for, like, no more than five or six years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, we need something for Kevin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What do we know about him? He’s an accountant.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[talking over Jim] He’s fat. The fat accountant award.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am the fat accountant.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here he is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? What did they say? “For a good time, call Michael Scott”?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why do you think that? You just immediately go to that, Dwight? Why are you so negative? Why…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I mean, you just come in and you’re just negative…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…and you just walk negatively.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you want me to find out what it says?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What does that even mean? What are you… What are you talking about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just go and find out what it says and who said it and report back to me. But don’t tell anybody that I have anything to do with it because if they ask me, I will say that you are crazy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you. You won’t regret this, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I hadn’t planned on including him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kevin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, what should I do, guys? Seriously, do you want me to just cancel the Dundies?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ping? Everybody loves Ping. He’s my most popular character.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? Well, he is based on the Chinese delivery guy that I have, who talks exactly like that, so, I think you should take it up with him instead of me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sighs] Well, neither of you are Chinese, so what… Why do you care?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, you’ve hit a new low here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is a good point.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, all right, I will do that. I will get to that definitely. Absolutely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I don’t know. Maybe after I finish writing, producing, directing, and hosting your awards show. All right, just relax, keep your pants on. Unless, of course, you’re in the bathroom and you should be able to take your pants off in that case without Creepsville Central spying on you. Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here we go. [organizing his costumes] And that. [to waitress] Hey. How you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 72, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] You down with the Dundies?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] You down with the Dundies?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] You down with the Dundies? You’re all my homies", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] You down with the Dundies?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] Yeah, all the homies", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have listened to that song so many times and I still don’t know what OPP stands for. Other people’s… Something. I… [shakes head]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, our next award… ah, yes, this award goes to the most creative writing on the ladies’ room wall, and the winner is… Who is it? Who wants to claim it? Shiny Dundie. Who wrote it? Great idea, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "He’s hot, all right? What do you want me to do about it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sighing] It was unanimous, Toby.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, okay, I based it on what I felt was unanimous office sentiment, and this isn’t even about what Ryan thinks. It’s about you. It’s about how you feel about the Dundies. Admit it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, it is true.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, I don’t have time for this. I need to get on stage and you are breaking my concentration. [imitating Native chant] Me Chief Michael Scott. Here to trade…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t wanna forget that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Absolutely. Is this mine or is this Chili’s?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Keep it. My gift. [hugs Chili’s Manager] Thank you. Have a good night. See you next year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clears throat] Hey, what’s up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Any emails today?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No? Um… Check your spam folder.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs uncontrollably]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am king of forwards. It’s how I like to do business, everybody joking around. We’re like ‘Friends’. I am Chandler and Joey and, uh, Pam is Rachel. And Dwight is Kramer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s funny! That’s funny. Not offensive. Uh… because it’s nature. Educational.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, I…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah… maybe. Maybe. Well, we’ll see. Because I… I don’t know if it’s… [muffled by jacket over his head] Whup! Come on! Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kay! Oh, you are so bad! Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, Boom! Bam! Oh, this guy is out of control! He is a madman! Better get the bleep button ready for him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-o!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Todd Packer and I are total BFF. Best Friends Forever. He and I came up together as salesmen. One time, we were out and we met this set of twins. And Packer told them that we were brothers. And so, you know, one thing led to another, and we brought em back to the motel. And then Packer did both of them. It was awesome. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh-whoa-oh! Oh! Okay. Grade ‘A’ gossip for you, right now. Randall, CFO, resigned. Nobody knows why.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? Here we go! Buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy one!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, to be fair… blondes, brunettes, you know, there’s a lot of dumb people out there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! Wow! I didn’t say it! I didn’t say it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, wow! What did I tell you about the bleep button.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. Bad boy. [to Ryan] Um… Ryan? [makes Donald Duck noise]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah! Man. That Todd Packer can do anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, send me that link to the monkey sex video. I’m going to forward it like it’s hot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Forward it like it’s hot. Forward it like it’s hot. “Old School”.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, Toby?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um… literally two seconds?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Toby is in HR which technically means he works for Corporate. So he’s really not a part of our family. Also he’s divorced so he’s really not a part of his family.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, Toby. No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It is a big deal. It’s a big deal! What are we supposed to do? Scrutinize every little thing we say and do all day? I mean, come on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "NO!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What? He! No! Okay, what is a lawyer going to come in and tell us? To not send out hilarious emails or not tell jokes?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That’s why it’s a joke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Everyone! Hello! Everyone. Hi! Sorry to interrupt. I know you’re all busy and the last thing you want is for a major interruption. But Toby has an announcement that he insists on making right now in the middle of the day. [to Toby] So, take it away.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I wish you luck, Toby. I really do. But you are going to have a mutiny on your hands and I just can’t wait to see how you handle it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "A guy goes to a five dollar… lady of the night and he gets crabs. So, the next day he goes back to complain. And the woman says “Hey. It was only five dollars. What did you expect? Lobster?” This is what’s at stake.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Time to bring out the big guns. I’m heading down to the warehouse where jokes are born. Find a killer joke that’ll just blow everybody away at the seminar later. And remind them what is great about this place. So… ah! Here they are. [to Warehouse guys] Guys! Wondering if I could, uh, get your help for something. I’m looking for a new joke to tell and it needs to be just killer. And it does not need to be clean. So whatcha got?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, yeah, no, well… I mean better. Better than that. The type of stuff you guys tell all day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, alright. Well, yeah, but, you know… a joke but not necessarily at my expense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oooh, okay. That was still about me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t feel bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I don’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, not exactly what I was looking for but thanks guys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi, is it over?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, I know. It’s good. It is not over. It is not over til it’s over.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did he tell you everything? Obviously, he didn’t because you all still look relatively happy. Albeit bored. Do you realize what we’re losing? Seriously?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Exactly! Mmwwah [blows kiss to Angela]! Can we afford to lose email forwards? Do we want that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Give me a break. Umm… Stanley, how about that hot picture you have by your desk? Centerfold in the Catholic schoolgirl’s outfit? I mean, it is hot, it is sexy, and it turns him on. And I will admit, best part of my morning is staring at it. But what? Are we just going to take it away?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think the old honor system was just fine. For example, I have never slept with an employee. And, believe me, I could have.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No! No! Catherine. Remember her? Remember how hot she was?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "She would have definitely slept with me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, she was. Dammit, Kevin!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What if Pam was a lesbian? What if she brought her “partner” in to work? [to Toby] Would that be crossing the line?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What if they made out? In front of everybody?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "At home? And I told everybody everything about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Well, then let’s act it out. Pam, you will be girl A and girl B will be… Okay! We’ll use the doll. Pam. Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I wish Todd Packer was here because he would love this. I wonder if anybody else would like to do this. Hey! Um… we have to watch, uh, Toby’s video that he’s showing us in order to brainwash us and I was wondering if anybody would like to join in? Going to be fun. Got my great pizza. Whataya say? Jim?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s what she said. Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s what she sai [clears throat] Nope, but… Okay. Well, suit yourself.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, you are never going to believe this. The girl in the video we’re watching that Corporate gave us… Darryl banged her! Aaand is about 90% sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So you are the lawyer, Mr. O’Malley? I know a lot of lawyer jokes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, it’s probably because you don’t get ’em.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When I said before that I was king of forwards, you got to understand that I don’t come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest a guy who’s just delivering drugs from one guy to another.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The problem is that I am the boss and apparently I can’t say anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Where’s the line? Where’s the line, Jan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I’ve seen the video.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I didn’t. [to Jan] Huh, what? [everyone looks up at blow-up doll]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Attention, everyone! Hello! Ah, yes! I just want you to know that, uh, this is not my decision, but from here on out… we can no longer be friends. And when we talk about things here we must only discuss work-associated things. And, uh, you can consider this my retirement from comedy. And in the future, if I want to say something funny or witty or do an impression, I will no longer, ever, do any of those things.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmmhmm. Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughing] Come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mwah! [kisses hand and salutes office]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You would have done the same. You just didn’t think of it first.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s… That’s…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. [to man entering office] Hello. [introduces] Jan. Mr. O’Malley. This is my lawyer, James P. Albiny.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I believe you may recognize his face from the billboards. He specializes in Free Speech issues.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This guy does it all.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So I’m not in trouble?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am so used to being the bad boy. I am so used to fighting Corporate that I forget that I am Corporate. Upper management. They hooked me up with an attorney. To protect me. You can’t be too careful about what you say. Mo’ money, mo’ problems.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Well, let’s get you out of here, James. Um… I think we’re under an hour still, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know. We’ll talk about it later. Thanks for coming in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. No, no, no. That crosses the line.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not you. Kevin. Just unwarranted. Hostile work environment, Kevin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. You said it. He pointed. A point is not a say. Look. Kevin, we are a family here and Phyllis is a valued member of that family. Like a grandmother.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know about that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I have a late birthday and usually September’s a cut-off point. [to Kevin] You know what? You just crossed the line. Okay? There’s a line and you went over it. And you must be punished. So go to your corner.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, your corner. Go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmmhmmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They didn’t get to me. I got to them. I am still the same old Michael Scott. New and improved. You know what? I love Phyllis. You know what else? I think she is gorgeous. I think she is incredibly, incredibly attractive person. [to Phyllis] C’mere, c’mere, c’mon! Come on! Come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oooh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not worried.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? The only thing I’m worried about… is getting a boner. Good work today, everybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Times have changed a little. And even though we’re still a family here at Dunder-Mifflin, families grow. And at some point, the daddy can’t take a bath with the kids anymore. I am Upper Management. And it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam. As much as I might want to.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good morning, Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t get what you mean.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you said I looked thin, so what does… Does that mean I’m like thin weird or thin handsome or… [laughing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, well, of course. Of course. [laughing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Office romance. For example, Pam and I are dating, do we have to disclose that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, but I’m saying hypothetically if we were dating…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, Roy is dead, and I ask you out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You say yes, and we go out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And now Roy and Pam are dead, and we have your stupid rules to blame, Toby.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Toby actually gets alimony from his ex-wife because she makes more, so that’s kind of embarrassing. Not that I’d mind, but it would never happen to me because I would make the marriage work. People seem to like him because they think he’s one of us, but he’s not. He’s this weird loner who just tells people, “Don’t do this, don’t do that. Hire this person for this reason.” I would complain about him, but who would I go to, to complain about Toby? Toby. Bias. And what does he do about that? Nothing. Because he’s Toby. What kind of name is that? It’s almost a girl’s name. I think I’ve known more girls named Toby than guys. He just kind of makes my skin crawl a little bit. Toby is the devil. Toby’s the devil.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m an early bird, and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise, and I have worms. Oh, breakfast.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yummy, yummy. Thank you, Ryan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um. The sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. But thank you. And why don’t you take a couple hours. The office is yours. “Home Alone,” “Risky Business.” Take your pants off, run around. Whatever you gotta do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok. [Removes biscuit, leaving only sausage, egg and cheese.] Healthier. Gotta watch those carbs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Today, I, Michael Scott, am becoming a homeowner. Investing in real estate.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes it is. Yes it is. It is very important to own property. Back in olden days, they would not even let you vote unless you owned property and they’d throw you in the stocks and humiliate you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Maybe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. Yes. Final walkthrough.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sign the papers at the condo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, I don’t need one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t need a representative.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. Dwight. I’m fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, this isn’t about work. This is closing on a condo, it’s completely personal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Except that, this is about my living arrangement, and as boss, I need to have a living arrangement in order to do work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok. Fine. Yes, you can come.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "As my associate.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No it is not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, most honorable Pamera. Not offensive, because that’s the way they talk in movies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We are. Dwight and I are going to the big thing. So why don’t you have everybody work on their expense reports and I’d like them in by the end of the day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Very good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We will. Um, did you do the thing I asked you to do about the magazines?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. The Small Business Man?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Maxim? American Way? Cracked?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How about, uh, Fine Arts? Aficionado Monthly?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "NO, well can you get on that, because I don’t just read Cracked. Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok. See you soon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know, regular. Normal ones. Nothing fancy. Not my style. What are you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What? No, Dwight. It’s fifty degrees outside. Don’t… please…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I… Just… Would you put it up? [roof opens] Ok. Fine. Just leave it down. Whiner.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I do not understand what you spend your money on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Home, sweet home.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right there. My sanctuary. My party pad. Someday I can just see my grandkids learning how to walk out here. Hang a swing from this tree. Push them back… wait… [turns around] no, it’s this one, right here. Home, sweet home.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, how are you? Nice to meet you, Bill. Bill. Mr. Bill. OHHH NOOO. MR. BILL. OHHH! SNL? When they pull him apart? He’d always get rolled over by something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nice to meet you too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, small. I’m buying it and I’m not renting it. So, it’s still an upgrade. He doesn’t know anything about property ownership. Kind of an idiot. Um.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. Good. That’s good. It’s good to be accommodating of that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This, my friends, is the master bedroom. Check out the cathedral ceilings. Those are like seventeen feet high. We have cable readiness. [points at wall] Right there. I am going to totally pimp this place out. I am going to put a surround sound system. I am going to put a plasma screen right against this wall.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m putting my bed right over here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, then I will get a warrantee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well then I won’t get a warrantee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So that’s the problem, is solved. What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh… Ten year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What? Wha? You said ten.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, ok, ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok. Alright. Oh boy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um. Oh. [moves stove burner] Oh, ok. Is that suppose to come off?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um. I’m going to take a little breather for a second. Excuse me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh. [breathes deeply, head at knees]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The ceilings are lower than they were last week. That, I don’t… I don’t…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…know if you showed me this same unit or not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Where are all the hot people? I was told that there would be all these attractive singles.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "As far as I can tell, I’m the best-looking person here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s a basic principle in real estate, that you should never be the best-looking person in the development. It’s just sorta common sense, because if you are, then you’ve no place to go but down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am not going to rent the third bedroom. I want a price reduction or I am a-walkin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ehhhh….", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I made the right decision. I’m glad I signed. I’m a homeowner. Right? Good to be a homeowner. Diversifying. This is good. This is fun. We’re having fun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s something else Dwight wanted to talk to you about. I have a surprise for you, for helping me out today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no. I insist. I insist. Because you’ve really done some great work. Great work. And that is why, I am going to let you move into my third bedroom and pay me rent.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why did I do it? Because I believe in rewarding people for their efforts. Ah. I rewarded Dwight with the room, and he is rewarding me back, ah, with $500 plus utilities.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m thinking, lock into a four year commitment, we’ll go month to month after that. Or, until I start dating, have a girlfriend, then you’re, you know, you’re gone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What the hell is a terrarium?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, so an aquarium. Ah, that will not come into this place.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We take separate cars.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why would we do that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "EHHHHNT. Game over. Offer revoked. Dwight. I’m sorry, but you reach out and you try to be a nice guy, and help out a friend, and this is what happens. This is what I get. Oh god. I’m … Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, well, you know what? Nobody cares about your stupid beet farm. Beets are the worst.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nobody likes beets.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nobody likes beets, Dwight. Why don’t you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy. I’d love a piece of candy right now. Not a beet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop it! [smacks Dwight’s arm]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Jim. Slim Jim. What’s going… What’s going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. Thanks. Thanks. It’s very cool. It’s a three bedroom, gay-friendly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t really know what to say. Um, I’m not one for making speeches, but ah, my heart is very full at this moment.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Get up here, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yep, not as good as gold. [national anthem plays] Why are you playing the national anthem?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. [doves move across cord] What the hell is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, okay. I’ll tell you. Let’s see here. Three bedroom, two bath…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…contemporary townhouse. Two car parking…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…wall-to-wall carpets…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…all fixtures included. Yes, this is… This is looking good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think it does.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think it has a… Yeah, it has a deck. They call it a porch, but it has a deck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When a man is laying on his deathbed there are four things that go through his mind. Was I well-loved? Check. Did I express myself? Did I let my light shine through? Check. Will an attractive woman cry at my funeral? Check. Probably more than one. Check. Check, check, check, check. Lastly, did I achieve success and own real estate? And when I close on this condo, I will be able to check that one as well.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Home owner. About to join an exclusive club, Dwight. Maybe some day these people out here will know what that feels like. Maybe not. Who knows? Not my problem. [groans]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are we ready?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are we gonna do it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is all mine. All the way down around the corner. It’s a shared space, but I can use it whenever I want to,", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, the volunteer Sheriff station.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, anything bad?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t need a gun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello! How are you? I’m, uh, just about to close on 126 over there and I guess we’re going to be neighbors. Very cool, very cool. So, uh, so what’s the vibe? What’s the vibe of this place?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… That’s gonna change. [laughing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because I loves to party and I’m gonna be partying my butt out at this place.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here’s a question for you. I have a convertible. Is it safe that park that in my driveway. [Man steps back inside his house and shuts the front door] All right. See you soon. Good guy. Um, cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think I’m going to make myself some microwave popcorn. [humming] Press “Popcorn.” Oh, that’s gonna be delicious. I just love having popcorn in the middle of the afternoon. You know what? I could do with some hot chocolate as well. Oh, drat. I can’t make hot chocolate and popcorn at the same time, unless, I can. Boom! Second microwave for le hot chocolat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, Carol. Hello, how are you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good to see you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Second bedroom for the ladies. I mean, the extra ladies who aren’t in my bed, or for friends or family, whoever wants to pop on by to casa de Scott. And right in here… What, what’s in here? Uh-oh, bedroom number three. What are we gonna do in there? Limitless possibilities.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What? [toilet flushing] What are you doing in there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, my God. Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what I might do, I might make this into a kids’ room.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will have a girlfriend once she sees this place. I’m gonna get married and I’m gonna have kids.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not gonna date a 55-year-old woman.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, it’s not. Just shut up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re an ass. Shut it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, you don’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m gonna back out of the deal. Nothing personal, but I feel like I have been taken advantage of here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This smells of fraud to me. This whole thing just kind of stinks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Howard, slash Ryan, Ryan Howard is sitting in my office. And he has been a temp here for a couple of months and he’s kind of gotten the lay of the land a little bit. Had a few laughs along the way. And now he wants to know what I think.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shall we? Let us proceed. First up, proficiency in necessary skills. Aaaaeeexcellent! [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Five years from now, what do you want to do? Where do you want to be?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! Good. Ambitious. Excellent. Want to be a manager?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is ridiculous.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ryan’s about to attend the Michael Scott School of Business. I’m like Mr. Miyagi and Yoda rolled into one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[speaks in a Yoda voice] Much advice you seek. [regular voice] Do you know who that is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm… No. That was Yoda.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There are ten rules of business that you need to learn. Number one:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Ryan] [makes clicking noises like shooting a gun] Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, I was the first one out. And, yes, I’ve heard women and children first. But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweat shop. Thankfully. And, uh, women are equal in the workplace by law. So, I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Another rule of business is being able to adapt to different situations.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Adapt. React. Re-adapt. Act. All right? That’s rule number two.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So what was rule two?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, well, let’s… . let’s kind of take it a little slower.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, uh, well, one is taken.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, he needs a permanent number, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, yeah. Okay. That… No, no, no. I got one. I got one. The Three Stooges.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Rule number four. In business, image is everything – Andre Agassi. This car is an investment. Right? If I have to take out a client or I’m seen around Scranton in it. I love it. I love this car. Do you like it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow, some pretty big books back there, huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello, Mr. Egghead! Woop! So… oh, Stanley Kaplan! I know him. ‘M’ is for Murder, ‘P’ is for…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…for Phone. What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, oh, thinking about business school?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So you think you know a lot about business?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh huh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Quiz me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on, egghead. Let’s do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Quiz me up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When I was Ryan’s age, I worked in a fast food restaurant, to save up money for school. And then I spe… lost it in a pyramid scheme. But I learned more about business, right then and there, than business school would ever teach me, or Ryan would ever teach me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Dwight] Shut, it. Can I… can I just do it please? [to Ryan] Uh, it’s equal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Yes! It was a trick question.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what, Dwight? You don’t need to help me here. Okay? Well, you know… Maybe you should go to business school like Ryan, then… then you’d know what you’re talking about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "For instance, why don’t you go to business…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop. Dwight. You know what? You’re acting like a dork. Would you cool it? Please. Okay. Hey! He’s not your five year old brother, Dwight. He’s a valued member of this company… and you know what? He knows more about business than you ever will.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I did not go to business school. You know who else didn’t go to business school? LeBron James, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant. They went right from high school to the NBA. So… so it’s not the same thing. At all.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look at this stuff. Market fragments. What is that supposed to be?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You are so smart. You are so eff-in’ smart. You should be teaching me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I became a salesman… because of people, I love making friends. But then I was promoted to manager, at a very young age. I still try to be a friend first, but… You know? I’m very successful… your coworkers look at you differently. Huu, what do you think?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nah, I’m okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, hey. Game, what game are we playing here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I play this at home all the time while I’m falling asleep. What, uh… . Where are we? Where are we here? Mmm.. Roy? Roy? Who would you do, Roy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Aaaall right. Who’s next, who’s next, who’s next, who’s? Jim? You’re next. Who would you do?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I would definitely have sex with Ryan. ‘Cause he is going to own his own business.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who’s, uh… Who’s next? Who we got? Whooo…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wish I had my cell phone, but I left it inside. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight. Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, don’t! He is an idiot. The man is an idiot, ladies and gentlemen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t say it to him. I said it about him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in the background] How long does it take to find a cell phone? I don’t know either.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Seriously, where the hell is Dwight? Hey, call my cell phone. It’ll make it easier for him to find.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I gave it to you in the car.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I saw you program it in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, I better tell somebody. [to fireman] Excuse me, sir…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight!? Great goin’. God, Man! Why did you go in there? What… Everybody was scared out of their wits, man? Oooh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow. Okay. Well, I guess they don’t teach how to operate a toaster oven in business school.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, did you miss that day there, Ryan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Toaster Oven 101?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey! I know what’ll impress everybody, I’ll start a fire. Oh, man. Bad idea. Bad idea jeans.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] …since the world was turning.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Rule five – safety first, i.e. don’t burn the building down. Okay? That should be a no brainer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… look! Ryan is book smart. And I am street smart. And book smart.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ll give you the rest of the ten tomorrow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Rule three: Reach for the stars. And if you fail, see rule four. Rule four:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, yes, I ran out first. A captain is always the first one on the ship and the last one off the ship. And this parking lot is our ship when the building is on fire. So, I ran out onto the ship.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When I was Ryan’s age, I worked at Arby’s and then I worked selling cutlery for a while. Cutlery that could decimate a penny, I kid you not. There were these shears that could cut straight through a penny. So I have life experience and work experience that Ryan doesn’t, and will never have.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If I could change the life of one person, just one person. I… Actually, that’s shooting kind of low. I already did that when I was born. I changed two people’s lives. Mom and Dad. Um, if I could change the lives of 5,000 people… 10,000. No, five. I’d be satisfied with 5,000. I… 10,000 though, that’d be something. Wow, 10,000 people. Because, you know what? Even one is amazing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Happy Halloween, everyone! [notices Pam, in her cat costume] Oh… that’s great!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohh… OK.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know why she’s calling. It’s the end of the month, and I was supposed to let somebody go by the end of the month. And somehow I’m supposed to put on a costume and smile. [dials a number on his speaker phone] Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Sherri. Michael Scott returning.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I’m gonna wait till the end of the day. Because the book said it’s best to wait till the end of the day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know… yet. I will have to call her back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay… Sherri?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If you were getting fired, how would you wanna be told so you could still be friends with the person firing you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ll call her back. [talks softy, to himself] Wish I could fire Sherri.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay! I’m sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I mean you hear about layoffs in the news, but when you actually have to do it yourself, it is heavy stuff. It’s… these are people’s lives you’re talking about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeeesh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, Pam, I have to let somebody go today. This is, uh, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because it’s very scary stuff.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re worried about the party? There’s a man’s life at stake here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. Or a woman. A human life. If you had to guess, who it would be based on their job performance… and who you think deserved to be fired – who would that be?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And… sometimes you just let it go to voicemail.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know. I sent away for it in July from a catalog. [bobs his head around, causing the costume head to jiggle around]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, man. Okay, I have to fire somebody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You guys excited about the party?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s gonna be fun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[looks to Oscar] Oh, boy… look at you! Haha. Showing your colors. Bet you wish you wore a dress every day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All good. Happy Halloween. What happened to all those spooky decorations that we had? The cobwebs and such?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you know what? Go buy some more. I’ll approve the overages. Sound good?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. Oh, yeah, also about budget stuff. Um, I’m going to need you to find, like a, a full employee salary, plus benefits, like fifty grand. I’m going to need you to find 50 grand in the numbers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, that’s not what I’m saying. Just, you know, find it. Pretend that your jobs depend on it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm-hm-hmm. Interesting take on Dorothy. I love it. Hey, you know what would even be better? Soccer ball and cleats.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“Bend It Like Beckham.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs] Yeah. That would be perfect.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I don’t really have two heads. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who do you think it should be?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, Jim brings in money.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Eh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s not a popularity contest. Although it does make sense to fire the least popular because it has the least effect on morale.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[turns to the fake head, listening] What? There was someone left off that list? Who?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re right, I didn’t even think of him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, that’s actually a really good idea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah… I could.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not saying that’s what he said.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[listening to his head] What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is not a very nice thing to say about him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are you kidding?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I agree. He’d land on his feet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So. How did it go with Stanley? How… how’d he take it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ahh, come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t wanna fire Stanley. I never said that. I’m certainly not going to do it myself. Get those big, baleful, eyes staring at me. Yikes. Just, okay, just… [waves Dwight away]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Fantastic!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?! That would’ve solved all my problems.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, you idiot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If you left, I wouldn’t have to fire anybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Big deal. Oh, it would’ve worked out so well. Can you get it back?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You can call. Can you call ’em?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wohahah! Why are you torturing me?! God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clearing his throat and interrupting Jim’s talking head] Can I speak to you a minute?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Help. Me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I want you to role play firing me. I want you to fire me, and I will take it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I want you to be me, and I will be Creed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no. That’s just the first thing… came… in head.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, that’s a good idea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Aaaahh! I’m gonna kill myself!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m going to kill myself, and it’s your fault!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Corporate is really breathing down my neck. And they’re saying this has to be done by the end of the month.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I… this is Creed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m improvising, so just try to keep up. [phone rings]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And I’m very angry, and I want…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m gonna kill you. I’m going to kill you for firing me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Get off, get off. No, no. OK.. just get off.[sits back down in his chair and waves Jim off.] Just, just… yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, hey… Creed?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Could I talk to you for a second?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You are great. Very ambitious. And I feel like you want more than this little office has to offer. And I understand that you’d wanna just spread your wings, and fly the coop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I… we’re gonna have to… You… you want something better.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, you wanna leave.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why… why are you making this so hard?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think you’re right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, of course you can’t go. We haven’t even started this horrible process of… okay, Creed. I need to let somebody go today. They told me I need to let somebody go. And as much as I think you’re a great guy, and I like you, you’re… you’re, goodbye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hmm?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What old days? What are you talking about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s right here on the desk, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I can’t, I can’t…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I can’t change anything. This is the way…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t… okay, just listen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot the deer in the leg, had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have to fire someone today, okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, well… I already picked you. And you know that. So, unless I just go through with this, you’re always gonna look at me as the guy who almost fired you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Devon, could I talk to you for a sec?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, he…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, maybe I did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Huh. No! I can’t, no. I can’t go back. I would look like an idiot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. It was all the stuff that I said. It was the business downturn, the cutbacks, and, and…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just hope that you and I can remain friends.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Devon, wait, please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look, look. In addition to severance, and everything, I want to give you this gift certificate to Chili’s. From me. Okay? No hard feelings.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I love Halloween. You know, it’s just, it’s just fun. Every year, it’s just fun. Last Halloween I came as Janet Jackson’s boob. It was topical. People got a… a big kick out of it. The year before that, I came as Monica Lewinsky, and I wore a stained dress. The year before that, I also came as Monica Lewinsky. And before that, I was O.J. It was pretty funny. Oh, I wish you were here last year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "He… Hey, hey, hey, hey! How you doing? Wow! You guys looks great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You look great! And you’re a princess?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "A fairy princess. You’re very… .", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re a lion. [trying to to open a bag of candy] Wow, I want to hear your, your… Oh! [the bag tears open, spilling all the candy] Oh, okay, that’s all yours. That’s all yours. Grab it, grab it. You know what? You guys are getting all of these.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, you. Big Jim. And Phyllis. Working hard, Phyllis?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Of course. You’re always working hard.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Keep it up. And there’s Stanley. No costume? Well, no, not trying to fit in. I wish I had your confidence, I really do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no. What could possibly be wrong? Everything’s great. Just keep living your lives. Everything’s gonna be fine. [sighing] You are all such wonderful, innocent people.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What? What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Fine. If you are so anxious to see a head roll, it’s you. There. You brought it on yourself. Too bad. Can’t say that I’m sorry. It’s a relief.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You asked for a name, I gave you a name. Now you’re not doing your job. Why don’t you just resign?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just know that if I could have fired you, I would have.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m going to have to do this Sopranos-style. Just whack him. Guys, could you take the freight elevator, please?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? That’s my foot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You guys…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will handle it in the best way possible, but in case he or she goes postal, you will be available to subdue. Am I correct?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know. Hey, are you on our payroll or are you employed by the building?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, shoot. Okay, well, just have your pepper spray ready.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. All right, this is it. By the time I get back to our floor, I will have decided. [elevator bell dings] Wow, that’s a fast elevator.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have a proposal, everybody. Listen up. Now, Corporate has been really breathing down my neck to make some pay cuts, but I refuse to fire anyone. So, I was thinking that maybe all of you would take a 10% pay cut and that would save the money. Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, great. Fine. Well, then, if anyone is annoyed later at what goes down, you know who to blame. Stanley. Not the guy who was trying to be creative. [turns around to find Toby standing behind him]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Leave me alone, okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you want some coffee?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[slurping] Oh, wow. How long have you worked here? How many years, Creed?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, that’s right. Fifteen years and three months. Wow, you were hired before I was. Must be thinking about retirement.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s just that you never got married and you live in an apartment.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just trying to be your friend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Of course, I did. I always… Yes, I do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are you pulling my leg or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You have no clue why I’ve asked you in here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, here we go. This… um, here’s the deal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. Actually, I have. I have been on a hunting trip. I shot a deer in the leg. I had to… I had to hit him, I had to hit him with a shovel for about an hour, so he… That’s good eating, though. Venison’s very gamey. It’s hard to watch, though. It’s hard to… It’s hard to hit another living thing in the face with a shovel for about an hour. That… I haven’t been hunting since then. I, I… ‘Cause that’s, you know, where’s the joy in that? Where’s the… There’s no sport, really. Especially when you’re the one with the shovel. And they’re the one just lying there. Um… I would have rather hit it with my car or something and just… I was just smacking the hell out of that thing. That was a mess. And we just left him there. I didn’t eat it. I didn’t want to eat that. That guy. Why do you ask?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "His name was Devon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The human being man’s name was Devon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[talking over Jan] Yes, yes, yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, it is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, well, I am. A little. Justifiably. My Halloween is ruined.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you? I don’t think you do. Devon was one of my best buddies. And now he hates me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[talking over Jan] You’re glad?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thanks. Thanks so much. You think it was good?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[talking over Jan] Think I did a good job? Great. I feel good. I’m gonna give myself a pat on the back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There. I’m doing it. Right there. Great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[camera pans over, Michael is sitting in a chair] Yeah, blah, blah, blah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You people are revolting. By far, the least popular people here. I should have fired you. Who knew Devon was so popular and had so many friends. So well-loved.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing and tapping on his coffee mug] I don’t want to work, I just want to bang on this mug all day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uhh, yes, I did, here’s the dizzle. I have a very top secret mission for you. I want you to update all the emergency contact information.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Pam] Hello, oh God, busy work. Ahh, get away, cretin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, thank you. I know where to sign.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Last year they were out of order, weren’t they Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Chillax, Pam. Stop Pam-M-S-ing. That’s pretty good. Um, actually, I’m sending Ryan on a top secret mission. Tell her what it is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Is it a priority? Oh I don’t know, um, what if there is a tornado, Pam? People’s legs are crushed under rubble. “Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife? No, I can’t because we don’t have any emergency contact information because Pam said it wasn’t a priority.” Think. Think with your head, Pam. Ok, well. She walks out. That’s the problem with being a boss is that when you are tough they resent you and when you are cool they walk all over you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Catch-22. Yes. Why don’t you give me your contact information to start with, ok, what’s your cell?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in his office on his cell phone, talking in a fake high voice] Hey Ryan. This is Michael Jackson calling from Wonderland.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is Tito.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Calling from… [Ryan hangs up]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Taps on the glass in his office to get Ryan’s attention] Pick up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in a high pitched voice] This is Mike Tyson.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And this is more a ying-yang thing. The ‘Michael’ all cursive, the ‘Scott’ all caps. Left brain, right brain. Or, duality of man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, yeah, I don’t think that would happen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because I would kick his ass.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So? I’ve beaten up black belts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They told me. After. You see, I used to run with a very tough crowd. Street Fighter types. Real, real bad people, I’m just lucky I got out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And after that, nobody ever messed with the ‘Damn Rascals’ ever again.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You were a Jet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, in theory, I have. I just need to cross some t’s and dot some i’s. Alright, I’m going to be in my office if anybody needs me. [Puts Dwight in a headlock] Hoo-hah. Oh, wow, sleeper hold. That’s my rebuttal. Shhh. Hoo. You are the weakest link.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m friends with everybody in this office. We’re all best friends – I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late, and start having dentist appointments that aren’t dentist appointments. And that’s when it is nice to let them know that you can beat them up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just hit me. You’ll see.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, queer… [realizes he is on camera] eye. Queer eye. That’s a good show. Important show. Go ahead. Do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh yeah, that would be kind of worthless because I know a ton of fourteen year old girls who can kick his ass.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look, Dwight is a wuss. When we rented ‘Armageddon’…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "… he cried at the end of it. He did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, Bruce Willis. Are they going to leave him on the asteroid?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, here we go. Alright, come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Fuuuaaaahhhhh… oohhhhh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. [Jim opens office door for Michael] Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Pam knocks on his door] Go away.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I haven’t signed them, ok?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come in. Um, Pam, I hate to break this to you but Dwight can’t stop you from being mugged. He’s just not tough enough.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I could beat up Dwight. That’s ridiculous. I could murder him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, so that’s what they are saying?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, alright, where is Dwight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Watch out Kelly, he might sucker punch you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? Well, the offer, Dwight, was for one punch which I absorbed. I had no idea that there would be a second punch. So, catch-22.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look, if we were in a bar right now, there would be two punches:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I recognize that. That is Japanese for California Roll.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think it is. A guy told me about that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alotta rules. Alotta rules. On the street we didn’t have any rules. Maybe one – no kicks to the groin, home for dinner.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What the hell was that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, that’s the way you want it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Play dirty, huh? Ok, game on, man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m comin’ atcha man. Ok, purple belt, ok. I got him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I got his pants.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, you have… No, you have something… God, you look like such an idiot! [Lots of yelling and flailing of arms by Michael and Dwight]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Go on, I dare you to kick there again. Kick there again, I dare ya.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You can’t see. You can’t see. Good boy. Good boy. Great boy. Two points, three points, four points. I win. I win. [Michael is using his head guard to hit Dwight] Eight points. Nine points. [Begins to hock a loogie]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Open your mouth.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? “Raging Bull.” Pacino. Oh, I want that footage. I want it. I need it. Ah, I have to get back to work. I have lots of work… Oh, oh check this out. Come here. [Michael opens his blinds and looks at Ryan in the parking lot] There he is. Mr. Temp. Having lunch by the car. Let us play with him. This’ll be hilarious. [Calls Ryan on the phone, Ryan doesn’t pick up after seeing that Michael is calling] Oh, we’re playing phone tag.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "My emergency contact is Todd Packer. Todd F. Packer. Do you know what the F. stands for?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[knock at the door] Yeah… uh, come in. Oh, hey Karate Kid. The Hillary Swank version. Hi. How are ya?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Knock at the door] Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, just throw them on the chair. I’ll take it from here. So, whatcha up to this weekend?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If you’re doing anything crazy, give me a shout.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This close. Dwight, may I speak with you for a minute?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, [points at himself] busier. Making the time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you don’t even have anyone to go home to, Toby.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, but I’ve been carrying the load on my back all day, and if everybody would just chip in a little bit, it’d might help me out. What do you say? Let’s gangbang this thing and go home. Good? Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have been testing you the entire day. Did you know that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And I am happy to say that you have passed. So effective immediately I am promoting you from Assistant to the Regional Manager to Assistant Regional Manager.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, I know, I know, I wouldn’t be offering it if I didn’t think you could handle it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, title change only.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no. Three month probationary period. Let’s not tell anybody about this right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Absolutely but not really.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes you do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And, ditto.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I told Dwight that there is honor in losing. Which, as we all know, is completely ridiculous, but there is, however, honor in making a loser feel better which is what I just did for Dwight. Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. And I think I proved that today at the dojo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I don’t think that would happen. See, I used to run with a very tough crowd, street fighter types. Real, real bad people. I’m just lucky I got out. I was a bad ass mo-fo. Stanley knows what I’m talking about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ve never lost a fight. You know why? My motto. Never say die.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, that’s not how I meant it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shut up, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. Well, in my office, if you took off your shoes, it would be a sign of disrespect. Stinkyfeetville. Kind of a ying-yang. [exclaiming] Oh, stretchin’. I like to stay tight. Compact. [Dwight screaming]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you have, do you have anything in, like, black?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "God, you look like such an idiot. [both yelling] [grunting]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stan the man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you hear about the fight? Well, it wasn’t much of a fight, actually.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I opened a big can of whoop-ass on him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I went medieval on his heinie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Stanley. I don’t tell you how to do your job, do I? He…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Grow a pair, Stanley. Right? There not gonna downsize because I miss a lot of deadlines. That’s not how business works, okay? [sighs] Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[door opening] All right. Here you go, Princess. Just finished with part one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, under my tutelage.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If you didn’t badger me with so many questions, Pam, I could be done with it by now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow, graphs and charts, somebody’s really been doing their homework. Looks like USA Today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I changed it. To Chili’s.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Radisson just gives out this vibe, “Oh, I’m doing business at the Radisson”. It’s kind of snooty. So.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here’s the thing. Chili’s is the new golf course. It’s where business happens. Small Businessman Magazine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It will. I sent it in. Letter to the editor.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh huh, uh huh. [under his breath] Power trip.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, let’s do this thing. [to Pam] Wish us luck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[under his breath] Kiss ass. Ok, probably going to go late tonight. Burning the midnight tequila. So, I think you could all just take off now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no. That would not be efficient. Actually, they just don’t get very much work done when I’m not here. [Jan stares at Michael] That’s not true. I know how to delegate, and they do more work done when I’m not here. Not more. The same amount of work is done, whether I am here or not. [another Jan stare] Hey, everybody, listen up. This is what we’re gonna do. You sit tight, until I return. Sound good? Doesn’t matter, it’s an order. Follow it blindly, mwahahaha, ok? Alright, ciao. [to Oscar] Adios!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, I’ll drive.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s just a couple blocks away, so… boy, you really don’t know Scranton, do you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "At all!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You ever been to Scranton, Jan? Dar de-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dar de dar.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jan Levinson-Gould. Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn’t moving, you might think she was dead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We should come up with a signal of some sort.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, in case one of us gets into trouble, the other one can signal-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I… it could be either of us.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeees.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello? Christian?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thought that was you. Hi. Michael Scott. This is Jan Levinson-Gould.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No Gould?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, Jan, what happened?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Is Gould dead? What uh-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow, you’re kidding me! Do you wanna talk about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When did this happen?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, after you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[mouths “Wow” to the camera]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Awesome blossom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Christian] I think we should share an Awesome Blossom, what do you say? They are awesome. Want to, Christian, blossom?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, it’s done. Actually, [turns around] Megan, may we have an Awesome Blossom, please, extra awesome? Now it’s done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I heard a-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Very very funny joke the other day. Wanna hear it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just one joke. Ok. Well, if it’s just gonna be one, I will think of a different joke. Umm… let’s see… choo choo choo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, it’s Michael. I need you to go into my office and check some data for me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nope. Told it. Not as good as you think. Pick another one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh ho ho, yea! Bingo! And a lighthouse. Yes. That is hysterical. Could you start that one from the beginning?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "First guy says “Well, I’m an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn”. And the second guy says, “Well, I am a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort”. And the third guy says “I gotcha both beat, I’m a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe”.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[making the mouth on his tie talk] Yum! Yum yum yum! [Christian laughs] That’s delicious! I love it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Bop! Be blah bop, be boo boo bop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s why I wanted a signal, between us, so that I wouldn’t have to just shout non-sense words. That’s her fault.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did somebody say “baby back ribs”? Hmmm? Hmmmmm?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] I want my baby back, baby back, baby back [Christian laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] Chili’s baby back ribs…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Woo, well, this brings us to Jan. Truth or Dare? Tell us about your divorce. Ohh, ohh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, so you’re not gonna play? She’s not playing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "She’s not playing the game.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Check please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, you were not stupid. Gould was stupid. Right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s true.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh huh, Kenneth Road, born and raised. Spent my whole life right here in Lackawanna County and I do not intend on movin’. I know this place. I know how many hospitals we have, I know how many schools we have. It’s home, you know? I know the challenges this county’s up against. Here’s the thing about those discount suppliers. They don’t care. They come in, they undercut everything, and they run us out of business, and then, once we’re all gone, they jack up the prices.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It, you know what, it really is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, corporate’s gonna go ballistic, but, uh, you think we could Jan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[waving to Christian] See ya.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We did it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nailed it. Nailed it! Come here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What!?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Goin’. Ok. Where we goin’? Doesn’t matter. Goin’ to the go go. [nervous laugh] Oh-ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Morning, Pam. Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, nothing happened. I-I swear, nothing happened. What, I’m, totally being serious. A gentleman does not kiss and tell, and neither do I. [laughs] No, seriously, guys, I’m not, I don’t want to go into it at all. It’s off limits. Fine, I took her back to her hotel and we made out for a little while. It was great. I mean she told me about her divorce, we talked for about five hours, she fell asleep on my arm. So.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, no, no, no Gould.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is none of your affair because she is your boss-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And she is a woman. She is a strong, soft, thoughtful, sexy woman. And you know what? I don’t think that I can sit here and let you talk about her that way without me defending her honor. [to camera] Jan, I defend your honor. [to Dwight] Is that all?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know we have to register as a consensual sexual relationship with HR. My question:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Have you ever heard of Doctor David Friendly?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Doctor David Friendly’s Egg Yolk Diet. It’s, it’s kind of unique. It’s just, my diet the last couple months has consisted mostly of eggs yolks and cottage cheese. And, um, what you do, you don’t just have the egg yolks, it’s not like a Rocky thing. You do like hard boiled eggs and I got one a those melon ballers [shot of Michael peeling boiled egg] and I, it’s just like a little ice cream scoop, and I just scoop out the middle of the egg and just pop it in my mouth. I don’t even, I don’t even use a plate anymore. Uh, the first couple weeks I did, but you know what, boom, I keep a melon baller in my desk so if I have a hard boiled egg [Jenna breaks as Pam and laughs] I know, I know! But you know what? It’s perfect. I know it sounds ridiculous, it sounds ridiculous, but you know what? Dr. David Friendly, he came up with this thing. The guy, I think he was like four hundred pounds when he started, and he started with this… I, well, the melon baller was my idea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[throwing away food from the fridge] Not today, Kevin. Cannot be around carbs today. You know what one loaf of bread would do to my abs?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh huh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Conflict!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have a conflict with that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, I have a pajama party. At the Playboy Mansion. With the bunnies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I can’t get out of it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m hearing you, meeting confirmed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Meeting confirmed. Would you like your confirmation number? Please grab a pen, because I will only be repeating this once.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "42897. Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is a closer? A closer is a sales term for someone who always gets the job done. And that is me. A B C, always be closing. Glen Garry, Glen Ross. “Hey, gimme the Glen Ross leads.” “No way, they’re just for closers.” “Do you know who you’re talking to?” “I’m Michael Scott.” “Really? Well, take any lead you want.” “No thanks, I don’t need ’em.” Because I have a client list [taps screen] right here in my computer. [sighs] So suck on that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, could I see you in my office?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, you’re trustworthy-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And a woman-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And I want you to listen to a voicemail from my boss. [Jan on recording] “Michael, it’s Jan. I guess I missed you. I’ll, uh, be there this afternoon for performance reviews. I hope it’s understood that that will be our only topic of discussion. See you soon.” First impressions?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "My boss is coming in today, the lovely Jan Levinson-Gould will, well, no Gould. The Gould has been [makes slashing neck hand motion] swack, divorced. Um, the awkward part is that this will be the first time that we’ll be seeing each other since, well, uh, it was really nothing. We just sort of got caught up in the moment. The vulnerable divorcee gives herself to the understanding, with rugged good-looks, office manager. Just, uh, she didn’t want it to continue for some reason. It, we both, I didn’t want it, we both didn’t want it to continue. Was not professional. Um, when people say something’s mutual, it never is. But this was mutual.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[playing Jan’s message] “I guess I missed you.” I guess I missed you. So, she misses me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But then she goes on to say “that will be our only topic of discussion”. That doesn’t mean anything, those are just words.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok. Yeah, what, what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohhh, great. Well, now I’m in a terrible mood. Let’s do your performance review-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, why, that’s great news? That, that, then why would, why would I not like that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, wow, wow. Alright, let’s listen to that again. [plays Jan’s message] “Michael, it’s Jan. I guess I missed you”.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "God, Stanley, that’s frickin’ brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? Sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No kidding.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good work, Stanley. Great performance review. Stanley in the house, everybody. Woo! Angela, your turn.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh; Angela, you were totally satisfactory this year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Interesting. Jan is calling me. Maybe it wasn’t so mutual after all. [puts Jan on speakerphone] Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jan! To what do I owe this pleasure?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, hello to you, too. Um, yeah, I was just um, I just wanted to get some closure on uh, what transpired between us at the meeting we had in the parking lot of the Chili’s.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, surely this uh, review is a formality because of what happened uh, at our meeting in the parking lot of Chili’s.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Been thinking about you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, I don’t see how that’s unprofessional. Just-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They are not. Yes, they are. [Jan hangs up] That’s my girlfriend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, I have ideas on a daily basis. I know I do. I have a clear memory of telling people my ideas. Um, is there any chance you wrote any of my ideas down? In a folder? A “Michael-idea” folder?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s unfortunate. How ’bout the suggestion box? There’s tons of ideas in there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The suggestion box that I put out, and people could be put in suggestions anonymously? Maybe there’s prizes?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why don’t you find it and tell people to get theirs… never mind, I’ll tell them. Hello, everybody? Yeah, uh, attention, please. Jan Levinson’s coming, very soon, and so, we’re going to have our weekly suggestion box meeting, so you can all get your constructive compliments in a.s.a.p.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What did I say?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, Kelly, that was neither constructive nor a compliment, so maybe you should stop criticizing my English and start making some suggestions. ‘K?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi, Jan. How are you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good to see you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok. [tries to kiss Jan’s hand] Ok, why don’t we just step into my office? We’re gonna go in here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yep, right after you. Apres-vous. [mouths to Pam] No calls.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright [takes Jan’s coat].", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s nice to see you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, well.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Absolutely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m a little confused. ‘Cause first it’s all like kissy-kissy. And then it’s like all regret. Because “Oh, I regret that.” But, “Wait, I’m still gonna call you.” But, but, “We’re just gonna talk business. And I may come down and fire you if you don’t do your job.” But what were talking about when we first kissed? Business.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, I finished all of that. I’m very fast. I’m not too fast. Not like wham-bam-thank ya ma’am. But I do say thank ya ma’am. But, I’m, I’m not like wham-bam. Not that there’s anything wrong with wham-bam. If it’s consensual. [cold Jan stare] We’re talking about office stuff. Can I ask you a question?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is a business question. It’s nothing personal, I promise.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are you wearing a new perfume today?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you’re wearing it at the office. And [smells Jan] it, I’m sorry, but no offense, but it’s really sexy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t understand- [phone rings] Hold on. Sorry. [answers] Yes, Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m kind of in the middle of something. I wish you wouldn’t interrupt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I did not, not, not use those words.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, it’s in like ten minutes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why are we here? Because I value your opinions. Now, I know a lot of don’t think that I read your suggestions, but I do. I just sift through them every week and I really look and scrutinize to see what you guys are writing. Um, so, let’s, uh, just read some of these suckers. Alright. Number one:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t understand why you’re so upset.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let me ask you-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, let me ask you this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let me ask you something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Where did you get your outfit?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just don’t understand why you have to pretend like nothing happened.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh my God…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What do you want Dwight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, great. Your performance has been adequate. You may leave; goodbye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You wanna talk now, good; OK, Dwight, leave.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why on earth would we give you a raise?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s from Superman?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wait.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wait, wait, wait, come, I just, I just wanna know why?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, so you’re saying that there is a different time or place?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, ok, well never as in ‘never ever ever’, or never as in there’s still a chance?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just want to know, from the horse’s mouth, what is the dealio?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Am I too short?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I appreciate that, thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I wasn’t, I didn’t cry-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So my looks have nothing to do with it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jan is not in a place where she feels she can have a relationship right now. And it doesn’t matter how great a guy I am. And that is all I needed; I’m good. I can go home now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, it’s 12:20; where the hell’s Dwight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Never missed a day, my ass.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oscar, I’m ready for you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, you’re in accounting…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So, good, good, good. Something to work toward, being here more. I’m a big believer in people being here more.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Absolutely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“I am not going to discuss anything outside of Dunder Mifflin business, period.” Okay. Now, why would Jan say she only wants to talk business and then make it clear that she is on her period? God, I don’t understand women. How about a clear signal, right? Is that too much to ask?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, it is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, I did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hell, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kind of, yeah. Over the shirt, my elbow, but…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, yup, wait, yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, there… Later there was.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t, you know, it was… It was dark, for one thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s just push on, shall we?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s next. Just keep it. “Look on the supply shelf.” What? What is that? All right, Ryan, look on the supply shelf, would you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, field trip’s over. Come on. Could we please get back to this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, don’t break any lands-speed records getting back, okay, Stanley?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Christ Almighty.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, next suggestion.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“Don’t…” Okay, that’s blank. Don’t. Just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Crystal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How pleasant. You can…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, I think we’re good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, that got a little out of control. Jan’s taking a break, which is fine. I’m doing the same, just chilling. Getting my mind off of us. She’s right. I need to be more professional at the office. When I’m at work, I need to focus on work. I should call her ex-husband.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello, is this R. Gould? Hi there. My name is Michael Scott, I work at Dunder Mifflin. I believe I work with your wife, ex-wife, Jan. Yeah, that’s right, yes. Um… I was wondering if I could ask a personal question about her. Mmm-hmm. Okay, well, could I ask anyway? Uh-huh. Well, I’m just gonna ask. When you guys were dating was she sort of easy to get and then really hard to get?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, that Gould is a real interesting guy, a gem. I can see why he and Jan are no longer together. If my conversation with him is any measure of their relationship, he was verbally abusive, he was curt. He was… He had an inability to communicate, shall I say? He was emotionally unavailable. I don’t know how she dealt with that as long as she did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Never…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, then, Gould wasn’t kidding.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing, I just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I did not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Maybe I did. Maybe I called him, I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t do that. I… Maybe he called me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ex-husband, you have to let it go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is an office? Is it a group of people? Maybe. Is it an idea? Of course, yes. Is it a living organism? Exactly, yes. And any single cell organism has to have a spine, and that’s me. But the spine is always controlled by a brain, and that is Jan. But the brain needs a heart, and that is me again. So ironic. You know what? The heart is smarter than the brain. But the brain is so effing hot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It is Friday morning and it is another beautiful day in Scranton, Pennsylvania. [sees man in a turban outside] Oh my God. Ohhh. [dials phone number] Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Oh, we have a serious problem here. [goes out onto office floor] Alright everybody, lock the doors, turn off the lights. Pretend you’re not here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s no time to think about if this is real. Just, shh, everybody. [knock at the front door]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The IT tech guy and me did not get off to a great start.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I tried to install it myself, but, uh, you guys have these things so password-protected…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, umm… [looks at Post-It on computer]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "AH! Guh-oood.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Please don’t do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I can’t tell you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t have to tell you anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, nothing is going to happen to me, ok? I’m in the best shape of my life. Look at this. [flexes his arms] Brrr! That’s strong!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not going get a brain-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, oh, ok; if I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and die, you can have my job, ok? Why don’t you just go… away?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees. His salary, that would depress them. His bed, it— And I am not going to tell them that I’ll be reading their e-mails.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So how do you search?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Try “profits”. No! Try “Michael Scott”. “Michael” “boss” and “funny”. [Sadiq (IT guy) types; result pops up] Oh my God, wow! [chuckles] E-mail from Stanley. Stanley, Terribly nice guy. [reads e-mail] “Sorry I didn’t write back sooner; I can’t go to the game tonight because my boss Michael is an ass and making me stay late.” Well, Stanley’s an ass. Not one of our harder workers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, no, everybody; Oscar’s gone crazy! What other ghost stories do you have for us? That I’m a robot? [robot voice] I will destroy everything in my path-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Beep! Bop!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Bommmm. Bop! Onk onk. [Tin Man voice] Oil can. Oil can.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, what? No. That defeats the whole purpose.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what the problem is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The problem is that when people hear the term “big brother”, they immediately think it’s scary or bad, but I don’t. I think, wow, I love my big brother.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Meredith has an E-vite from Jim. Barbeque at Jim’s tonight. Tonight? Wonder where my e-vitation is. Click on guest list. Angela, Stanley, Oscar, Meredith, Phyllis, Kevin, Creed. Must be… .[scrolls down list] No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s always a distance between a boss and the employees. It is just nature’s rule. It’s intimidation mostly, it’s the awareness that they are not me. I do think that I am very approachable, as one of the guys. But maybe I need to be even approachabler.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Of course. Hangin’ with my crew, crew that I am one of. Hangin’ with my Cup of Noodles. This is a meal in a cup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hot, tasty. Reminds me of college. Lived on this stuff. Brain food. Mmmm… You know what I really, really miss about college? The parties. Everybody’d go. The athletes, the, the nerds, professors.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah! They were the most fun. We always invited them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Almost quittin’ time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "One more hour. Take care of anything you forgot to do. Hey, you know, I don’t know if you have any plans tonight, but if ya don’t, we could hang out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You have plans.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I do, too. I do, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I do, yeah. Big plans.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Tonight, I can’t do it tonight, no. Improv class, I have improv class, hanging out with my improv buds-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s the best. It’s the best. I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It is. Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[someone coughs] What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk to your vehicular transport?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright. Oscar, got big plans tonight with-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kevin, big man, big man, what are you doing tonight? Where are you off to?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Angela, rushy, rushy. Where you rushin’ off to?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, well duh. Where ya headed?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Liar!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You are a liar.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, oh ho, Dwight, Dwight, my loyal compadre. You and I are hangin’ tonight. The two of us. We are celebrating our freedom and our manhood. You know what? Why don’t we watch that show that you’ve been wanting to watch, that stupid Battleship Galaxy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s, whatever stupid show you want-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "To watch tonight", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’re watching it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t know you played soccer, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You, too, Dwight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[In Horshack voice from ‘Welcome Back, Kotter’] Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo, Mr. Cart-air, Mr. Cart-air.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[fake kicks in door] Boom! Detective Michael Scarn. I’m with the FBI.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Think about this; what is the most exciting thing that can happen, on TV, or in movies, or in real life? Somebody has a gun. [gasps] That’s why I always start with a gun, because you can’t top it, you just can’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Boom! Freeze! Michael Scoon, FBI. You know what you did. Boom! Boom! Boom! [shoots at Pregnant Girl and another actor] Yeah, you thought that you could get away with your little ruse, didn’t you? Didn’t ya!? Well, you didn’t, because I know where ya hid the diamonds. I been on to you and your little friends for weeks. [another actor steps in] Boom! Boom! Boom!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Boom! Boom!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Boom! Boom!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, if you hadn’t stopped the scene, you would have seen where it was going.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Boring.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I could of-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yehhhehh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no. I’m looking in my wallet for money so you can tell me my fortune.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are you… [whispers to Bill]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good, it’s good. Good work, everybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So Bernie’s, huh? We’re all going to Bernie’s? [to camera] Go to Bernie’s?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right, right, right. Well guys, I’d love to go to Bernie’s with you, but, you know, I have an office party. A big office party I need to go to, so… Can’t get out of it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, see you later. Nice job, Bill. Not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow! Who opened the morgue for this thing? I’m just driving by, thought I’d drop in. [to Jim] There’s some wine. I would love a glass, if you’re gonna open it. Here ya go Temp, take my jacket! [sees Sadiq] Oh, come on! That guy? He is a good guy, not a terrorist. Karaoke, I love it! I am a karaoke fiend. I call dibs. I got next, I got next up. Come on, let’s get this party started, ha! Ok? Where’s that wine?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, yeah, this is a duet, so, need somebody else, Pam? You wanna come up and sing this one? Need somebody else. Takers, please. [singing] Baby when I met you there was peace unknown. Kelly? Tried to get you with a fine tooth comb. I was soft inside, there was something goin’ on. This part goes to the, uh, girl. You do something to me that I can’t explain. Hold me closer and I feel no pain. In every beat of my heart, we got something goin’ on. Tender love is blind—", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’re making love!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Talk! Just talk!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shut up!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Funny story:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nope, nope. I actually wear a turban sometimes. Wanna see it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Got it right here. [pulls out Karnak turban]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Comedy; it’s funny. It’s Johnny Carson, Karnak. It’s, um, put it back. Huhhhh, did you have Johnny Carson in your land?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. You were forbidden.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, I’m gonna, uhh, get a cup of coffee. Do you want some coffee er-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Or some tea or hummus or something?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Should have done this a long time ago. Tons of personal e-mails, huge time wasters. Uh, uh huh. Wow, like Kevin, rating the best bars in Scranton? Poor Richard’s number seven? Idiot. Stupid load. [phone rings] Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I’m busy right now. [hangs up]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here’s a helpful suggestion for Jim. Jim, instead of e-mailing Amazon, to try and get that CD that you didn’t receive, I suggest that you go to Visa and tell them to cancel the charge.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s seems like ya did though-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jim. Lots of e-mails to Amazon, lots of wasted computer space. Alright, let’s get back to work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[moves chair to Jim and Dwight’s desks] Ooo, bleh bleh bleh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know. Just felt like taking it off. Man, work can be just so damn frustrating don’t ya think, Jim?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know, same old stuff. Same old. Boss just been ridin’ my ass.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t wanna talk about it. I just wanna hang out, just be one of the guys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s not the point.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok yes, I would never do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ha.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, this is completely the time, this is perfect time. This is just guys gently ribbing each other, it’s what it’s all about, just hangin’ out. Enjoying friends, all being the same. Worker bees.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, just bees, just bees hanging out, buzzing around.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not a master bee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m just a bee, Dwight, ok, just a bee, just buzzin’.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Five o’clock. Time to go get my improv on. [drinks] Little bit of the comedy juice. Mmm. Alright, see if you can guess what this is. [roars and flails his arms] That is a dinosaur getting ready to go to improv class. Just a taste of the improv.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I need to know… who shot Johnson!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shut up!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have a right mind to shoot you right in the head.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just shut up! I don’t wanna hear anything more from you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! No deal. Not with Michael Scarn, FBI. Michael Scarn doesn’t make deals. Michael Scarn shoots and then asks questions later. [blows on his fake gun]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "She was kind of tripping me up, cause she was, um, I was trying to get something going, when I was over her with the gun, and she like kept changing the story.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you kept-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Going into nuclear something; that’s not where the scene was going.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, it goes, it goes in the best direction, and that was not the best direction.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, he, Michael Scarn, that character, orders people around, and that’s, you should of just gone-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t think there’s any stronger choice than being a really strong character.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, it’s, like, well, it’s, you know, when refine it, refine a character down to its essence, that’s…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Exactly, thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I appreciate that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Or Ryan Stiles, something like that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You shouldn’t have been, ’cause you were dealing with Michael Scarn. That was exactly what I was hoping to achieve, so that is probably the best thing you could have said, that’s a compliment.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ll just throw out some suggestions.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They’re in a whorehouse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And he’s a proctologist. [to teacher] What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "First sentence is:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here we are.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh god.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, turn it around.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’ll break it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You shove it. Shove it back! Here we go. Don’t break the branches, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, suck it up. We all have problems. Hey, everybody, look what we have! [laughs] Nice, huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "On three. Ready? Big, one, two, three.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Merry Christmas!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did it work?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "A, that’s what she said, and B, I wanted it to be impressive. The biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, that is a perfectly good mini-tree, Kevin. And we are going to sell that to charity. That’s what Christmas is all about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[comes into the conference room in a Santa hat and beard] Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho, [points to Ryan] pimp. I’m kidding. What do we got, what do we got? How many plates are we getting?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Double it. Double everything. Double ice cream. Double napkins. Double it. On me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It was a tough year. I had to fire somebody this year. This party has to really rock. Check it out. Christmas bonus. 3,000 G’s. I got this for helping save the company money. So I guess some good came out of firing Devon after all. Maybe I should call him and tell him that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I want people to cut loose. I want people making out in closets. I want people hanging from the ceilings, lamp shades on the heads. I want it to be a Playboy Mansion party. And also, I want you to spread the word that I will have my digital camera. And I’ll be taking pictures all along the way. And the best and craziest thing that happens will be on the cover of the newsletter. Incentive.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I know. Damn it. Stupid corporate wet blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No! No way! It… no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You wanna be Santa?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Have you ever seen Santa?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I’m sorry. It just doesn’t work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That makes sense because he has elfish features.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You get something good this year?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah? Who did you have?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think I got something pretty nice for my guy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I spent a lot of dough. Lot of dough. Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. I wanted this party to be really special so I sorta went above and beyond.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It was Ryan. Yeah. I have Ryan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, let’s count it down, like Rockefeller Center. Ready?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no. Shake it off, everybody. Just, let’s do Secret Santa.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It’s like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, “Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, don’t!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whoa. Wow. Jeez. Somebody really got carried away with the spirit of Christmas. That was me, I got a little carried away.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You don’t know that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I did?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What? Oh, shoot. Wow. Okay, well, who cares? It doesn’t matter what I spent. What matters is that Christmas is fun, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh hey, for me. What is in here? [opens a handmade oven mitt] Oh, come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "An oven mitt? Okay. [walks out]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So Phyllis is basically saying, “Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt’s worth.” I gave Ryan an iPod.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I got it! We are going to turn Secret Santa into Yankee Swap.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "One person chooses a gift. The next person can either choose a gift or steal that person’s gift. If your gift gets stolen, then you can steal somebody else’s gift or choose a new gift.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I call it fun!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because it’s better. Because it’s more special.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shut it. No, it’s not. Okay, just give it a shot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, Meredith is up first. Here’s the deal. You can either pick a new gift or you can steal somebody else’s gift that they’ve already gotten, like the oven mitt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yankee Swap! That’s what makes it fun. Pam, you can steal the oven mitt now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think this is going great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Everyone wants the iPod. It’s a huge hit. It is almost a Christmas miracle.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, well, Oscar, you little gourmand, you have the next turn.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[holding oven mitt] I hope nobody takes this baby, cause this is great. Wow, look at that fine craftsmanship. Somebody really put a lot of work into that. It’s beautiful.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sucker! See, I wanted somebody to take it. Boom! Reverse psychology.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don’t know if you guys know about it, but basically you make someone think the opposite of what you believe and that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[opens present] “In addition to these paintball pellets, your gift includes two paintball lessons with Dwight Schrute.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who wants to take paintball lessons? How is that better than an iPod?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Last gift. Kevin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[after Phyllis leaves suddenly] What is she so upset about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on! I think that Yankee Swap was a big hit! I think it’s a success and I’m the one who ended up with Dwight’s stupid paintball pellets.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I didn’t. I got a big bonus because I fired Devon, and I used the money to buy something awesome. Sue me!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It wasn’t. It wasn’t that much. It was $3,000.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Unbelievable. I do the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for these people and they freak out. Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party’s so lame.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, now, you’re the expert. Is this enough to get 20 people plastered?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cool, cool. Box it up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh-oh. Looks like Santa was a little naughty.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is Christmas spirit, as in spirits, booze.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Zip it, Toby! Just .. I mean, it’s a party. Come on. If I can’t throw a good party for my employees, then I am a terrible boss. Who wants a drink?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Go, here we go!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Anybody making out in here? [checks hallway] Not yet, give it time. Oh, hey, Ebenezer, boink. [takes picture of Jim] Okay, how’s it going in here? [takes picture of Meredith and Kevin]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no. We’ll find some, don’t leave the party.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kudos to Ryan, king of the party committee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, yeah, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, no, no. No false modesty, my friend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not bad. And if it couldn’t go to Ryan, you are the guy I’d want it to go to.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re welcome.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No way. Oh, you’re kidding me. Packer! Yes! Todd Packer, ladies and gentlemen!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, no, no. Oh look at that. Icing on the cake.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, let’s fix you up. Who wants to fix up .. Toby. Toby’s gonna fix you up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Darryl. There you go. [hands him the Santa hat] You earned it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no. I really, really want you to have it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Merry Christmas.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[coming out of his office] Lampshade on head! It’s happening!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, that sounds good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Christmas is awesome. First of all, you get to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no one can say anything. Third, you give presents. What’s better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So, four things. Not bad for one day. It’s really the greatest day of all time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Meredith. Heading over to Poor Richard’s?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cool, cool, cool. Do you need a ride? [Meredith drops her top. Michael takes a picture] All right, let’s head out. Sounds good. Do you have a coat?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Remember on that animated special when they taught the uh, the monster to put the star on top? That’s Dwight. Dwight’s the monster that we taught to put the star on top of the tree. You take his teeth out, and he could put the star on top of the tree.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Phyllis and Angela and Meredith are helpers. I guess Angela’s kind of… Angela’s little. Phyllis and Meredith are not little. Pam is sort of a medium helper.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight is… Dwight looks like Spock to me. He always wears the ears, and I always give him grief about looking like Spock, and he hates it because he has a different pair of ears that he wears to be Spock, for some reason.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, thank God you didn’t steal my oven mitt. And Oscar, you little gourmand, your turn.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oscar, paint ball pellets.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Like anybody would want an oven mitt. [Phyllis gets up and leaves the party]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "See, that’s what Christmas is all about to me, is when you see someone open a gift and you think, “Man, I wish I got that.” I mean, that’s just such a great feeling, to watch other people envying a gift that you gave to somebody else. I don’t know, it’s just… I don’t know, just makes you kind of feel good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 84, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello, everyone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah! Ha ha ha!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stanley! Bo banley.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Banana fana fo fanley.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Be my mo manley.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stanley.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Maybe. The suspense is just so exciting, isn’t it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Maybe, I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, no. But… okay, don’t spoil it for everybody, all right? But we are going on a booze cruise on Lake Wallenpaupack.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s cheaper.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is not just another party. This is a leadership training exercise. Right? I’m going to combine elements of fun and motivation and education into a single mind-blowing experience.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It is now time to unveil the destination of this year’s retreat. We are going on a harbor cruise of Lake Wallenpaupack. It’s a booze cruise!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. This is mandatory. But don’t worry, you know what? You’re gonna learn plenty. This is gonna turn your life around, Ryan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, this…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "To throw you off the scent.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, just keep the tags on and you can return it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, that’s not my fault, okay? Just.. we’re not going to pay for a bathing suit. Okay, I know what you’re all thinking, “Who is this smart little cookie?” Her name is Brenda… something, and she is from corporate. And she is here, like you, to learn from what I have to say.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am a great motivational speaker. I attended a Tony Robbins event by the airport last year, and… it wasn’t the actual course. You have to pay for the actual course. But it talked about the actual course. And I’ve incorporated a lot of his ideas into my own course.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Leader… ship. The word “ship” is hidden inside the word “leadership,” as its derivation. So if this office is, in fact, a ship, as its leader, I am the captain. But we’re all in the same boat. Teamwork!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Now, on this ship that is the office, what is a sales department? Anyone?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, Darryl, the sales department makes sales. Good. Let me just explain. I see the sales department as the furnace.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, let’s not get hung up on the furnace. This just… it’s the sales… I see the sales department down there. They’re in the engine room, and they are shoveling coal into the furnace, right? I mean, who saw the movie Titanic? They were very important in the movie Titanic. Who saw it? Show of hands!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Titanic?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I’m Leo DiCaprio! Come on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No! Thank you, spoiler alert. You saw the movie, those of you who did. They’re happy down there in the furnace room. And they’re dirty and grimy and sweaty, and they’re singing their ethnic songs, and… actually, that might be warehouse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The… no, no. No, I didn’t… okay. Well, okay, in a nutshell, what I’m saying is… leadership. We’ll talk more about that on the boat. Ship.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] A three-hour tour, a three-hour tour.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, you are Mary Ann! We have the Professor and Ginger, welcome aboard. Angela, you are Mrs. Howell. Lovey. [to Kelly] Uh… the native. Sometimes they come from neighboring… [to Stanley] We have one of the Globetrotters, I am the Skipper, and Dwight, you will be Gilligan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’d rather die. Hi, I am Michael Scott, I am the captain of this party.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain. On a boat, who knows? It’s nebulose.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, look! I’m king of the world!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And I am the regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin, Michael Scott. Welcome, welcome!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay! So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But don’t worry, you are not going to be needing life preservers tonight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m your party captain too! And you are gonna put on your dancing shoes later on! So we are gonna…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Rock it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If the boat’s a-rockin’, don’t come knockin’!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’re all gonna have a good time tonight!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hm? Okay. Yep.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Having fun?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. Well, that is what Scranton is all about. Not like you New Yawkers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, we already sort of started it back at the office and on the dock with the Gilligan thing, so… right now, I was thinking. Yes. Okay, listen up all you Dunder-Mifflinites! I would like to talk to you all about life preservers. Now, one important life preserver in business is IT support.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So, okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But before that, I have to do my presentation.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, we’ll have a motivational dance contest! Hit it! Yeah, okay, dancing! It is a primal art form used in ancient times to express yourself with the body and communicate!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you have to just be the boss of dancing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah! See, this is of general interest. It is about priorities and making decisions, using the boat as an analogy. What is important to you? If the boat is sinking, what do you save?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no. Salesmen and profit centers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, well, obviously you don’t know anything about leadership.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not what I was looking for, but a good thought.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t want to take credit for this, but Roy and I were just having a conversation about making commitments and making choices. Right? Did I motivate you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well… could have been either one of us, because we were pretty much saying the same thing. Congratulations. That is great!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes! I can marry you as regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Then I’ll give you away!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Captain Jack is a fart face. I’m on medication.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Vomicillin. Okay. All right. It’s time to be boss. It’s time to motivate. Let’s blow some minds here. Okay, guys, guys, cool it. Everybody, Dunder-Mifflin Scranton employees, Brenda, I have some very, very urgent news I need to tell everybody right now. Listen up. The ship is sinking! Okay? We’re going down, right now. Just wrap your heads around the reality of that. Shh, please! Everybody, it’s my turn now, okay? Captain Jack is gone. In five minutes, this ship is going to be at the bottom of the lake! And there aren’t enough spaces on the lifeboat! Who are we gonna save? Do we save sales? Do we save customer service? Do we save accounting? This is a business scenario. Right? It’s a scary… it’s a…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s a predicament, and it’s something that each and every one of us has to think about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m in the brig. See? The boat’s not as corporate-friendly as advertised. What was the deal with the guy jumping overboard? What was… if he had just waited and heard what I had to say, he would be motivated right now and not all wet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Is somebody there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Captain Jack has a problem with authority.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "He just totally lost it. If you ask me, he caused the panic.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, it’s nice for you. Your friend got engaged.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Roy said the first one didn’t count.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? You’re kidding me. You and Pam? Wow. I would have never have put you two together. You really hid it well. God! I usually have a radar for stuff like that. You know, I made out with Jan…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah? Yep. Well, Pam is cute.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, if you like her so much, don’t give up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "BFD. Engaged ain’t married.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Never, ever, ever give up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s a fake wheel, dummy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[knocking] Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Have a seat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, every man’s dream.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Two ladies at once. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Okay, you heard something. Um, yeah, it’s a booze cruise, but it… There’s more to the story than that. It…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Leadership off-site. Uh, booze cruise is just a rhyme…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I don’t even know why I said booze cruise. I don’t even think there’s booze on the boat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Of course.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Of course, of course. Yes. Yes. Look, I have a whole program planned. Jan, this program is going to change people’s lives. I am going to be dropping serious knowledge all over the boat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, cool. Cool. And maybe you could attend tonight and then you could stay over at my house for the night. Awkward. That’s… You know what. Brenda, could Jan and I have a moment alone?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? You seriously said that? Okay. Brenda, could Jan and I have a moment alone?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ll see you later.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ll call you later.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s like…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ll call you, too. [to Brenda] So. You are probably gonna get carded, so I can make you a fake ID. We have a laminating machine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 39 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is a sales department? Oscar, what do you think?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not giving you the answer. Deck hands is one. And…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I’m first mate. You’re second mate. I’m first mate, as the captain.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, the anchor is the only thing that kind of slows the ship down. Toby is the anchor. Oh, God. He, well… [to Brenda] Tell you about Toby later, he’s awful.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, hey, Toby. So… It’s an analogy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Toby running to get on the cruise] Hey! What’s wrong with you? You missed the boat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Idiot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no. That’s his punishment for not being here on time. Too bad, anchor!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Your problem now, Captain Jack.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey. You know what the best way of studying is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Flash cards.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You are gonna get seasick if you keep reading in here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is a great way to kill this party. Not on my watch. Let’s, uh,… Let’s rock. Let’s rock some stuff here, okay? [playing badly] Okay… I’m hearing a little too much reverb. [feedback echoing] Can we down the reverb? All right. Follow my lead. [playing Smoke on the Water] Does you guys know that? Take the bass. Take the drums. What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? I don’t think it’s in…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s not in tune. I don’t know if you can…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…make much of out of it, Creed. Good luck to you. I don’t know. It is a defective ax, my friend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good luck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Those slide moves are just bush league. I hope I die before I’m old.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah! Toast!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s my line! That’s my line, That’s… I always say that at weddings. So I’ll just think of something else to say. I… [band starts playing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Jim. You got a hat?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam! It’s Michael. Help me! I need help right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m hurt, I have hurt myself. Oh my God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ungh, this is not looking good Pam!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I want you to pick me up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am hurt. I hurt my foot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I want to come to work. But I need you to come and pick me up. [Jim lunges across Pam’s desk and puts Michael on speakerphone]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OH GOD!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, buhhhh, I burned my foot very badly on my Foreman Grill and I now need someone to come and bring me into work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it’s good for me. It’s the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot… that’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, could you come get me?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, could someone come and get me please, Ryan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s no toilet paper here. Could Ryan… tell Ryan to bring toilet paper. Could you tell ’em that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I tried hopping, Kevin, and I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a protruberance.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[panicked] No one wants to pick me up!?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not sick! I’m burned!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t… is that Dwight? I do not want Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t want Dwight!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t have a girlfriend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It was all made up. Just someone come, ok? Anyone. Anyone but Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hellooo? … Please don’t send Dwight!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Morning everyone. Don’t freak out. I forbid anybody to freak out. Clearly, I have had a very serious accident, but I will recover, God willing. I just want to be treated normally today. Normal would actually be good, considering the trauma that I’ve been through.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you explain why?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Burned my foot, Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Please stop popping my cast. Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ha ha ha. So where are you shipping…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you. Pam, messages please?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really, well, it, uh, seemed very important to you earlier that you needed to stay and…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, your job is being my friend, Pam. OW! God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who’s undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I don’t want some aspirin, yeah I’m a little fussy. Aspirin’s not gonna do a damn thing. I’m sitting here with a bloody stump of a foot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What? Part of your duties are to what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You just said “part of your duties are to” something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, you did. What is wrong with you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Where is my cornbread?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you. Did you get all dark meat like I like?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Where are the yams?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you go to the one in Stroudsburg?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And they had no yams?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How strange. Because they always have yams.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam… PAAAM!?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come here please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I want you to rub butter on my foot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, please? I have Country Crock.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, ow. Ryan! … Ryaaaaan … RYYYYAN!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, nope, no one is helping me out at all Mom. No, I’m not gonna call Jan. She’d just worry… drive down here and make a big thing… Who told you that? No, it was mutual. What is Pam doing chatting with you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[loud noise in bathroom] No! Guh! OW! Awww, help, help me!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I fell off the toilet. I’m caught between the toilet and the wall.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ugh, not you. Someone else. Get Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Get Ryan. He needs to lift me. [Ryan shakes his head] and he needs to clean me up a little bit. Bring a wet towel.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, he’s not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just saw him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ugh, forget it. I’ll just get up myself. No! Uh, aaaahhh! Ah! Oh God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Can I have everyone’s attention please? Phyllis, Oscar, Ryan, who’s supposed to be dead, can I ask you all a question? Do you all know what it’s like to be disabled? Oscar?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, never heard of it. No, a real disability, not a woman’s trouble.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wuh, how, how old are you? Look, the point is, I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability, although I’m sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, [lifts up cooked foot] what does this look like to you Stanley?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shuuut it, ok, well, well you know what, disabilities are not things to be laughed at or laughed about. You people are jerks. Imagine if you had left Stevie Wonder on the floor of that bathroom instead of me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sigh] I burned my foot!!! Ok, twenty minutes, conference room, everybody’s in there!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "While we are waiting for our special guest to arrive, I wanted you all to take a look at a few of the many, many disabled icons who have contributed so much to our society.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good question. Forrest Gump: mentally challenged, Philadelphia [points to a picture from Big]:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ignore him. You know what? We’re not that different, you and I. When I clamped my foot into a non-stick…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you see Born on the Fourth of July? I was under the impression that Billy would be more like that guy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[popping his bubble wrap cast] Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You did it! Look at you, and with the plate and the napkin. Very nice. Thank you, Ryan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you get the yams?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sigh] Ok, I’ll just have the pudding.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? I feel better. Ryan brought me some chocolate pudding and his kindness healed my foot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, baby, I am feelin’ better. My body’s literally healing itself. It is amazing what the human body is capable of when you have a powerful brain.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, finally feel the blood coursing through my foot veins.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, now you feel some compassion for him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why don’t you go with him?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I can’t take you, I don’t have my car and yours is all vomity.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, ok, that’s, great. No, I can’t drive. Jim why don’t you drive.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’ll go. I’m still recovering. So let’s just, Ryan, could you get my coat please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shotgun!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout “shotgun” when you’re within the sight of the car gets the front seat. That’s how the game’s played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, God, a mini-van. What is Meredith’s problem?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, yeah she has one kid, no husband. She’s not gonna find one driving this thing around.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, God, I’m so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, just sayin’.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, what are you drinking?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Give it to me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight… [to Jim] You just keep your eyes on the road. [to Dwight] Give me the bottle or you’re fired.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Give it to me Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Give me the bottle!!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Gimme the bottle, Dwight!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just give it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop, stop it! Stop spraying! [Dwight whines] Gimme the bottle!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop spraying me! Gimme the bottle!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, what is your middle name.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sigh] Something with a “K”.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What do I write under “reason for visit”?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing. I wrote “bringing someone to the hospital”.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No… you know what Jim, this isn’t about me anymore. I made a miraculous recovery, which is more than I can say for him. [Dwight falls towards Jim]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Doctor, what is more serious, a head injury or a foot injury?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you don’t have all the information. The foot as been fairly severely burned and healed quickly, very quickly, actually like suspiciously quickly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look since you have the machine up and running, can I just stick my foot, we take a look?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, what kinda machine is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s my joke, damnit Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s ok, they’re with me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, well, I guess this is where we leave you off.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, well you should of thought of before you crashed your head on your way to pick me up. We’ll, see you when you get out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Fine. Fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, that’s what she said. See, haven’t lost my sense of humor. No, no need, it was a non-stick grill.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I always keep a stash of bubble wrap at my house. Some days, hectic, tiring days, I just like to go home and zone out and click on the tube and pop a few. Very soothing. [to the interviewer] Want to try?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right, I’m gonna spend the day in the hospital, bujehh. Bureaucracy and germs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, so, no thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow, I don’t want to hear… you talk. Pam, could I have a word with you in my office? [stumbling] Oh, oh, oh. Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I’ve been sayin that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you know I used to be in HR?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I used to be in HR. I was a Hell raiser.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right? [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright. Movin’ on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ry-an. You’re here. Whatcha got, whatcha got? Alright, Panic Room, Maverick, Nell, Sommersby, The Accused. Where’s Little Man Tate?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh man. It’s not a Jodie Foster afternoon without Little Man Tate, buddy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm, I’m telling you the best cure in the world is comfort food. You know how they say “stuff a cold”? Well I don’t care you’ve got, the flu, Lyme disease, emphysema, you eat an entire dark meat chicken, you can walk on the moon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I’m not calling your weirdo cousin. Twenty-seven years old, never left the beet farm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Guh-od.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, I’ll stand near you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Next-ish.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shh shh shh shh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. Do you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, ah, ah, what? What? Where’s the funny? Give it to me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s up-dog?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, oh, wow! I walked right into that. Oh, that’s brilliant!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Stanley, is that jacket make of up-dog?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm, what flavour coffee is that? Up-dog?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know, nothin’, what’s up with you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[low] No, damn it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What does what mean?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just forget it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight! Hey is it me or does this place smell like up-dog?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Gotcha! [laughing] Oh, God. [low] Crap! Nothin’ how ya doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[low] Damn it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Today is spring cleaning day here at Dunder Mifflin. And yes I know its January. I am not an idiot. But, if you do your Spring cleaning in January; guess what you don’t have to do in the spring? Anything. They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. Well I say that an empty desk means a…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, that’s not… no, that’s not what I was going to say.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "On a Friday? [Dwight nods]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will do all the talking.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What difference does it make whether your here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi, Oscar its Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yechh, yeah, um, heard you were under the weather?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? Oh, that is a shame. You know it’s cleaning day here today? Could have used some of that famous Hispanic cleaning ethic.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are your symptoms?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Umm, hmmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I need you to go back to bed. I need you to get better. See you Monday. Unless you’re still sick. So have a great long weekend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "He sounded sick.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s exactly what I was thinking.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Drop what you’re doing. Make this a priority. Because an office can’t function efficiently unless people are at their desks doing their jobs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wowweee. Mikey likey. Why don’t you wear your hair like that all the time. It’s much sexier. [Pam puts hair back up] [Michael walks by Jim] Man, this must be torture for you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey Jim-bag.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who else knows?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work. But, the fact that he told me his secret and no one else knows says everything about our friendship. And it is why, I intend on keeping that secret for as long as I possibly can.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "My lips are sealed. [singing] My lips are sealed… Bangles.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] Can you hear me, they talk about us…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, whatcha gettin’?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, good stuff, good stuff. Did you see the game last night?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Any of em? So, uh, what’s the 411? Any news on the “P” situation?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "P-A-M. P-A", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No it’s okay, we’re talking code.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Listen Stanley. How long does it take you to pick out a soda?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, well, cool. [Michael walks by Jim] Still deciding?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Michael presses a button for Stanley] Peach iced tea. You’re going to hate it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s Grrrrrrape! Soda.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not so much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Fact: I love grape soda. I always have. Fact: Jim and I talk all the time. We tell each other secrets.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, I don’t know, yeah, yeah, yeah it is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whooo, nice. That was, that was slick. What are you doin’ for lunch?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh nonsense [lifts leg and puts it on Jim’s desk], no way, no. Why don’t, why don’t I take you out to lunch? My treat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey you know what we could do? We could spread out a blanket in the break room. Have a little picnic order some ‘za. Talk about you know who.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know just he place.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[at Hooters] Oh man, you should order milk. Get it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why do I like Hooters? Well I will give you two reasons, the boobs and the hot wings.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, here we go, here we go. Bogy at 3 o’clock. Hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy. Hello Dana, I am Michael and this is Jim and we are brothers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m his boss actually. And I treat him well. I’m taking him out to lunch cause I can afford it and he can have whatever he wants.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Tell me Dana, how is your chicken breast?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmmm, sounds yummy. I will have a chicken breast hold the chicken. [Giggles]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I’m gonna have the gourmet hot dog.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What do you like best about Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Is it her boobs, or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Never get’s any of my jokes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Her boobs, definitely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohhh happy birthday Jim!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Woo! Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you very much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hilarious. Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just go to his house and see if he’s sick. I could have done this Investigation in like twenty minutes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Michael messes up hair to look like Jim’s] Expenses.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. It’s… I wear it like that sometimes. Is that a wig?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, it’s a business lunch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No he did not. I don’t need his permission.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uhhh it’s ridiculous. They took my card away because I spent $80 bucks at a magic shop. What they don’t understand is that I bought the stuff to impress potential clients. So business related, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I put a cigarette through a freakin’ quarter. And you know what Toby? They almost bought from us.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look Jim needed a relaxing lunch, he has been depressed and it has been affecting his productivity. How is that not work related?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re not his friend, you don’t know. He is in love with a girl he works with who’s engaged. So just cut me some slack. Please?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what Kevin? Jim is a friend of mine, so the only people that this crush really concerns is Jim and Pam… and me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, I know, I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I, oh, just, um, I know I was trying to, expense reports. And then God, Toby, you know he just… I know. I’m just, I just hope that, I just hope that [starts to get choked up] this doesn’t affect our friendship! Stupid, this is so stupid.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, I’m fine, no I know, I’m good, I’m good, it’s just.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah I’m good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah I’m fine. Look, about you and Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I feel it’s my responsibility as your boss slash friend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It wasn’t that long ago. It was on the booze cruise.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yehhh, okay, shuuttt it Michael. I’m done. That’s it. I’m out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "People are always coming to me. “Michael, I have a secret. Your the only one I trust.” No thanks, because keeping a secret can only lead to trouble. Like I was watching Cinemax last weekend. This movie, Portrait of a… Prostitute something. Secrets of a Call… More Secrets of a Call Girl. And the lead character, Shila, is framed for murder. She goes on the run and winds up working at a bordello in Malibu. I don’t, I don’t want to live like that. I like it here. I don’t want to be Shila, I like being Michael Scott.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello. Pammy want a cracker?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, Pam with the dirty talk. [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, he meant to put it right next to the hole, that’s much harder to do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no. I don’t want to chip my mug. Please get that off the floor. [sets mug on the edge of Michael’s desk]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. Jack Nicholson for birdie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s a celebrity tournament.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you see it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you feel it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[mug falls off Michel’s desk and smashes on the floor] God… damn it, Dwight! That’s great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[pulls a brand new mug out of his desk door] That won’t be necessary.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look at all them out there, my little worker bees buzzing away.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I am the King bee,", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, King is higher. Then Ace. I am the Ace bee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Keep. I will finish that later.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I know when it’s from, Ryan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I rushed a few fraternities, but you know what? I don’t believe in paying for friendships. So, I made a decision not to accept any offers. And fortunately none were made. Which was good, so nobody’s feelings got hurt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you, Dana.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Keep the change. Here you go buddy, happy birthday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re welcome.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no. I have the long sleeve. And actually, you know what we should do? We should wear them tomorrow to work, it’ll be hysterical.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, Tuesday. Whenever. You’d better try it on, make sure it fits.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Spamster!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hamster.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Welcome back! How was your vacation?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you get lucky? Oh! Boink!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am Pam. Spicoli guy. Oh, God. Names, numbers. Okay. [walking into office] Whoa! God! Yuck, yuck. Yuck. Yuck!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow! What happened in there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There is stink in there, my God! What is… what is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Is it a bird?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, God! How could that happen? How could… right in the middle of the carpet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um, somebody vomited right in the middle of the carpet in my office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Check it out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Check it out. Don’t be a wuss, just get… no, I’m not holding your coffee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is it? No, just tell me what it is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I cannot believe a pipe burst and left that in there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How do you know that? What is it, then?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[as cleaning lady with mask leaves] Here she comes. All cleaned? Great. [walks into office]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is worse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[while in his reeking office] I am a big Fear Factor fan. I’m a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually, so this is sort of like my audition tape. Um… [clearing throat] I can’t stand it [gets up to leave], I can’t stay in here another second. No!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sitting at Jim’s desk] Hey Jim. I thought that we would be desk buddies while they changed my carpet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… It’s …", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[reluctantly] Yeah …", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no! Seriously, I don’t mind sharing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[putting his feet on desk] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old bullpen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t ape me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The pressures of my office are insane.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just… you couldn’t understand, but man, you guys have it so easy out here, you know? I used to sit right here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ed Truck. [exclaiming is disgust] Ed Truck was the manager before me. Horrible. He hated fun. It was like, “Oh, Ed Truck is walking toward us. Stop having fun. Start pretending to do work.” What a jerk. He’s… You know what? I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming and would applaud as I walked away.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know who used to sit at that desk?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mm-mm. Todd Packer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "He was, but, uh… that desk was empty. He’d come in and sit there sometimes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When I was in training, many years ago… not so long ago… I worked side-by-side with a fellow named Todd Packer, and together we rocked the office [picture behind Michael falls]. Packer and I once spent the whole day with our pants off, and when people noticed, we convinced them that they were crazy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, a customer, well, sound the alarm. [laughs] Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Another time, Packer held this guy’s head in the toilet for like a minute. Guy had no sense of humor about it. Probably why he wasn’t hired.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Charley horse!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Charley horse!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, okay. Gah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Once, as a joke, Packer banged every chick in the office. [giggles] It was hysterical.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[whispering] Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s send up Accounting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Old fashioned raid. Sales on Accounting. Yeah. Follow my lead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey guys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ahem. What’s up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah! Oh ho ho [laughing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no. We don’t do that. We don’t do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Watch out, Pam. You’re next!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Maybe!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why would somebody ruin a perfectly good carpet? I don’t know. It could be done out of hate. It could be done out of love. It could be completely neutral. Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady. And, well, she doesn’t do a very good job, obviously, because my office still reeks like you would not believe. I hate her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism against the office. The only thing that makes any sense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop it. [Dwight hangs up] Stop. It. [Dwight beings to dial] Don’t. Don’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi, guys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m just walking around.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, and I’m not? Why would you say that? Because I’m having fun? You guys just are workin’ for the weekend, aren’t you? I’m workin’ for the week. Sales team, listen to me. This is what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna up the ante a little bit literally. Right here, I’m gonna put a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The person with the most sales at the end of the day gets to keep the cash. Sound good?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[counting cash] Seventy, eighty, one, two three. Eighty-three dollars. Still a lotta money and I’m going to … [moves money after seeing workmen walk by] … I’m gonna leave it right over here where everybody can see it. I will be taking Jim’s clients today because he is not here and out of sight, out of the contest. Let’s see who winds up with the cash, shall we?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, it is on, Phyllis, it is so on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "God, this is gonna be fun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on phone] So you have 40 boxes going out, and I will deliver those personally in a Sebring. Very good, nice doing business with you. Thank you. [hangs up] Yes! [chuckles] Oh, yeah! Read it and weep. Oh! Oh, look at that! [puts post-it on Phyllis’ forehead] Look at me, Phyllis! Oh, what is that? That’s my sale! [humming then dancing victoriously]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[stops dance] Nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. Just …", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what, guys? It’s none of your concern. It was official business, so just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, paper business. Is this done?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Extreme Home Makeover puts together a house in an hour. If you were on that crew, you would be fired like that. [snaps]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This was no act of God. A person did this. A person who works in this office. Maybe all of them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? Today is not a good day for a sales contest. We’re… we’re not… we’re not doin’ this today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You wanna talk about fair? Does anyone need to smell my old carpet? You explain to me how that was fair, and I’ll explain to you how this is fair. Plus I just… I think that picking today was sort of taking advantage.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I’m talkin’ about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well I hated it! A lot! Okay, I… you know what? If the guilty person would just come forward and take their punishment, we’d be done . [no one comes forward] Very well. Then you are all punished.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re all on a time out. Just sit there quietly. [phone rings, Phyllis reaches to answer] No. NO! [phone continues to ring]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you remember Ed Truck?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How would I know?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "My biggest fear is turning into him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sighs] I wasn’t talking literally, Creed. Yeah, being buried alive would be worse. Happy? Why am I talking to you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[meeting Ed Truck in parking lot] Ed? Hi. Thanks for meeting me. Must be kinda neat comin’ back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, well, honestly Ed, I really don’t wanna be up there right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, no, no, no. You’re good. It was clerical. You’re good. Um, well, somebody did something in my office, and I now think that they did it on purpose and it was directed at me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t get a good look at… it, but it smells horrible.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, that figures. So how did you deal with people not liking you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well… s-sure I can.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not necessarily. You can love a boss like you do a father.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, okay. Different management styles.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Last week I would have given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would have reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don’t have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, “Uh… no. I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on phone] Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who is this? How did you get this number?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh my God. Packer. Packster. Whacky Pack. How you doin’?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh… no. Did anybody see a package here today? No. How big was it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you see a big package? Where did you leave it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? Guys, did you see a big package in my office?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are you kidding me? Oh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That was Packer! Oh, you’re… you are dead. You are dead, my friend! That is hilar… Oh, God! Of course it was you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. [laughs and claps] Yeah, yeah! Oh my God. It was Packer!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don’t expect everybody to understand. It was done out of love, just like I thought. It’s ah… God, these people are so… these are good people. We have fun. [giggles] We just have fun! Oh, I’m just so sorry that I threw the thing out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on the phone] Okay, that quantity of cotton fiber will cost you… my screen disappeared. I know. I will click on the bottom and… Yes. I’m getting one of those little hourglass things. Used to have a price chart on the wall, now it’s a little hourglass thing with an arrow next to it. Now it’s just an hourglass thing. Uh-huh, yeah, well, or I can call you back. Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s going on? Anything here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, yes. What yes? A sale or a lead or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah. Small?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Huge?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Would you say the sale that I made earlier was huge or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What was that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You call that a sales call? My God, what have they been teaching you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, well, did I teach you to roll over like a submissive dog?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I did not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Exactly, ask me, which you did, so, tell a joke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you know a joke?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Call a client right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And tell him the joke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Strike while the iron’s hot. A joke always works.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just sell it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Give me the phone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Give me the phone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Tell him. Tell him that your supervisor is on the line.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The old one two. Let’s do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on the phone] Hey Howard. Michael Scott here. Yeah, sorry about that. Dwight is an idiot. I know. No, he’s a little… Little dim. He’s the janitor’s brother, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on the phone] Uh-huh? Yeah. Well, you know, like in a fast food restaurant, just to be nice they hire somebody who can’t even find their way to work? That is Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on the phone] What can we do to help you out? You know what? I have a discount. Today and today only, on lightweight copier paper.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on the phone] Uh-huh, yes, I can do that. Absolutely! Perfect. Oh, I’m glad it timed out that way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I really thought these people were my friends. My best friend since kindergarten, Elliot, that’s a friend. Best friend ever. I should call him. Wonder where he lives.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[knocks] Hey, what’s going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah… I… You know what… I… I… I just thought about it. I just have a few things I want to say.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hold… Just hear me out. What is more important than Quality? E-Quality. Now studies show that today’s woman, the Ally McBeal woman, as I call her, is at a crossroads…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, just uh… you have come a long way, baby. But I just… just want to keep it within reason.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They did this up in Albany…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And they ended up turning the break room into a lactation room which is disgusting so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I’m their boss, so I feel like…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[stands up] Anybody want any coffee or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Women in the workplace… yeah, translation “I have been banned from my own conference room so that Jan can talk in secret to all the girls.” Oh! Sorry. ‘Women of the workplace.’ About what? I don’t know. Clothes. Me. Eeegkh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Everyone. Guys. Circle up, please. Come on over. Bring your chairs. Toby, come on over. You’re a guy… too… sort of. Let’s do this!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in the background] Well, first of all, I, uh, just want to warm up a little bit. Let’s just clap.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s just clap. Ready? [clapping] Yeah! Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s what I’m talking about!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just having a little ‘guys in the workplace’ thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why can’t boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals when sitting down is far more comfortable?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We have nowhere else Jan. This…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, OK, Fine. Yeah, actually, perfect. Perfect. You know what? There’s another side to this place, gentleman. And I know we all love our cushy jobs and our fun, exciting office. But do you realize that underneath us, there’s another world. The warehouse world. A world that is teeming with sweat and dirt and life. Life. The bowels of the office. These guys are down there, they are real men doing real man’s work. We are going to learn how a warehouse works.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I think it’s going to work out great. Because managing the warehouse is a very important part of my job. And I haven’t been there in months.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So let’s meet the warehouse! Let’s get some shots. Pan around there. This is Darryl, one of our warehouse staff. Darryl, what is your biggest fear?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know, Darryl is actually the Foreman here and not Roy, which is cool. There’s Roy riding the big rig. So Roy is actually going to be marrying Pam sometime this summer. And… uh, she’s our receptionist. Sort of a Brangelina thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Brangelina is the Brad Pitt and Angelina… Roy…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Roy and Pam. It’s a Ram. It’s a Ram thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[points at math equasion on chalkboard] Uhhuhhuh. Just in case there’s someone down here who shouldn’t be. A little “Good Will Hunting” situation. All right. Troops. This is an important day. Big day. Now you may look around and see two groups here. White collar. Blue collar. But I don’t see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… well… okay… yeah, you know what? I don’t think… You.. You’re… My job sucks compared to this. I don’t think you’d like it up there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Guys! Want to start unloading the truck?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Check this out! Look at that! Look at that [squeezes blow-up doll] bwup-bwa! [talks in girly voice] Hello! How are… [regular voice] Oh! Kay. That is great. That is good stuff.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, you’re going to, going to hurt yourself.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stand clear.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, oh, oh! We’ll get somebody to clean that up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We ought to have this thing serviced.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So! Guy’s gripe session. Here we are. Now, we definitely live in different worlds but we have a lot in common. We even like the same girls, some of us. That’s going to happen, you know. We’re guys, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, why? Why would I… ? You could…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stay or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s start with the Warehouse. What bothers you as guys, you know?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah shhh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I… That was just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I was breathing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I hate shushing. You know, that’s the thing! What the… ok… what is our beef as human men.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. Alright. Good. Guys ragging on each other. That’s what guys do… and we love it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I feel you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, you do. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know. God! What is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It blows. It blows, man. Gah…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. Whoa, whoa. Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? Is that necessary? Because you already sorta have a union… of guys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dockworker’s?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. You know what? I think the problem is the chicks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The problem is the chicks. And you gotta blame them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah-es.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 39 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[knocks] This is important. Ladies, take a breather. Jan, I uh wanna… Can I help you? Um… I wanted to say that the guys downstairs are thinking about forming a union. And they have some good points…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t get hysterical.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Part of my job is knowing how to talk to women.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s… be… rational… here. What are the pros? What are the cons?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t talk to me that way please. Just… they’re going to want to hear this from you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But we’re bonding down there!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I mean I just don’t want to have to tell them something they’re not going to want to hear.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok. Come on Jan. After all we’ve been through…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We have a history…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…between us.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I won’t", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m just saying we have something… Ok. Whatever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cold front coming into the Warehouse. Uh oh! Better put on your ski boots! Woohoohoowoo. Waaaah! Happy New Year, Darryl! Hey,Darryl. You ever done this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yuh, yuh, yes! I… I have essentially…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have essentially. Yes. I’ve taken some…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m just going to put this over there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You did uh… okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pizza. Great equalizer. Rich people love pizza. Poor people love pizza. White people love pizza. Black people love pizza. Do black people like pizza?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey. Um… look guys, I’m sorry. Sometimes Jan can be such a bitch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, watch it, watch it. We have a relationship.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you to our hosts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ahhh! Excellent.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Is it good to be back. Yeah. I mean I love the guy stuff but to run an office you need men and women. You know why? Because you need to have that crazy sexual tension to keep things interesting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! I don’t know, Pam. I paid $400 for this phone because I liked the ring.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And now, I realize that you can program or download any ring you want. So, I’m a little overwhelmed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s a lot of choices. You got to help me here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Which one of these is coolest? What do you think? [classical piano playing] [violin playing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no. [blues piano playing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dude, are you kidding me? No. That one says, “I am so lame.” Know which one I want? There’s one that sounds like a jackhammer. Just really grabs your attention. It’s like… [imitating jackhammer] You know what I’m talking about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are you guys talking about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Working on it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright Dwight, as you know I am heading to New York today. [Dwight holds up passport.] Doing a presentation on the branch to the new CFO.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nope. The opposite of that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I probably will, why do you ask?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is your problem?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is a business trip. I would have to be a raving lunatic to try to talk to Jan about what happened between us. Her words, not mine. She sent me an email this morning. But, it is Valentine’s Day. It’s New York. City of Love.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Pam. You heart N.Y., right? You want me to pick you up anything?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dude, I’m gonna nail it. Me in New York? Oh, I own that city. Fuggedaboudit! See ya!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well here we go. On our way to New York. New York, New York. City so nice they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The meeting isn’t ’til three, but I always like to come to New York little bit early and hit some of my favorite hunts, like right here, is my favorite New York pizza joint. And I’m gonna go get me a New York slice. [Michael walks toward Sbarro.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here it is, heart of New York City, Times Square. Named for the good times you have when you’re in it. Most people when they come to New York, they go straight to the Empire State Building, that’s pretty touristy. I come here. Great places to eat. [points] We have Bubba Gump Shrimp, Red Lobster down there. Ya know. This is, this is the heart of civilization, right here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Everybody takes the subway in New York. It’s fast, it’s efficient, gets you there on time. It’s a way to [turns and rushes back up stairs] Okay, there’s a guy pooping in a cardboard box down there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is the world famous Rockefeller Center. Founded, of course by Theodore Rockefeller. This is a skating rink and I think the Rangers practice there sometimes and it’s, that’s Tina Fey [points]. That’s Tina Fey from Saturday Night Live. Hello? Hello, hi? [walks over] OH, I’m sorry, I thought you were [Conan O’Brien walks in front of Michael], OK, I thought that was. She, she looked a lot like Tina Fey. [to camera] Hello, hello, I thought that was Tina Fey, but it wasn’t. So… Are you serious? He was here? When, when I was talking to the fake Tina Fey? Come on! And are you, argh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I would love to live in New York someday. It’s a big dream of mine. Work for corporate, with Jan. It’d be awesome. Go to Broadway shows, eat hot dogs. Scranton is great, but New York, is like Scranton on acid, no on speed, no on steroids. [Michael sees it’s the end of a street.] OK, umm, I think, that’s either the Hudson or the East, so we’re back, should be back this way. There’s a lotta pressure on me right now. It’s like Michael Jordan, in the NBA finals. Or, like Stormin’ Norman Schwarzkopf, and this presentation is desert storm and as soon as it’s over, we will not have to deal with those Iraqis anymore. Let’s do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There they are. What’s up? Hey hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Josh Porter, high five. [They high five] Bam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, how ya doing? Nobody needs to introduce this guy. Craiggers. [bump fists]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You have been kicked out of every strip club in Albany, is that true?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So what’s going on? What I miss?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cool. Good, good, good. Give us some time to catch up, and… [awkward silence]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ay, Kay. Come on, you know, that’s not. Cool it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Maybe because she’s my girlfriend. [starts retracting statement] Was, or not my girlfriend. She’s… we hooked up and…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know, months ago, just once, It’s, just stupid. Just forget it,", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ditto. [to Jan] How are you Jan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is a business? Is it a collection of numbers and sales reports? Sure. But as you know, David and Jan, it is much more. [plays video on screen. David and Jan have confused looks on their faces.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Life moves a little slower in Scranton, Pennsylvania. And that’s the way we like it. Because at Dunder Mifflin Scranton, we’re not just in the paper business, we’re in the people business. Let’s meet some of the folks that make the Scranton branch so special. This is Stanley Hudson, one of our talented salesman. An African-American father of two, Stanley’s dedication is no doubt one of the hallmark’s of the foundation of the business we’re hoping to build our bases on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I shot a bunch of footage around the office, edited it together on my Mac. I was thinking of entering it into some festivals. Probably won’t. You know, not what this is about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And finally, Pam Beesly. Look at her. Look how cute. Not bad at all. As the receptionist, Pam is truly the gateway to our world. Well, I hope this gave you a little taste of what life is like here at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. What it’s like to walk a mile in Oscar’s shoes. Or try on Phyllis’ pants. Maybe even one of Angela’s famous brownies. And you’ll know, that you’re home.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Questions?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, absolutely David. Get that for you. I umm… [hands over report]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, ok. Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No you’re not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Technically, we fell asleep in the same bed. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. I’m sorry. I will fix this. I’ll talk to him. I’ll talk to David.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley. Airplane.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No no no no no, yes I, OK, well, alright, here’s the deal. It’s my fault. This is, this is totally on me. Before you guys came in, I was talking to the guys. We were all chatting and I made a joke, a really dumb joke and Craig the idiot took it seriously. [Jan looks at Michael]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I did, it was stupid. And Craig, you saw him, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. Although he is a tool. [David grins]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know. It was borderline at best and… And Jan is a fantastic executive and has all the integrity in the world and um, I’m really sorry. It will never happen again.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, no big deal. Really. Sorry again.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, Happy Valentine’s Day. [Jan turns and then kisses Michael. Michael looks and sees camera, Jan turns and sees camera, too. Elevator door closes.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oy vey… schmear. [Points at Fiddler on the Roof playing at Minskoff Theatre and does a dance.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Everybody, hello, can I have your attention, please? Since it’s Valentine’s Day, there’s something that I wanted to say. I love the women of this office. Pam, I love you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I love you, Angela. Yes, even you. I love you, Kelly. I love you, Meredith. This is all platonically, of course.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I love ladies, always have. And you know what I think is the most attractive part of a woman’s body? The brains. Because I don’t think a woman is beautiful unless she is smart. And also, the brains are where the ladies get their best nasty ideas for bedroom stuff.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s a lot of noodles. How much sodium do you think is in that cup? This place used to be full of hookers and porn shops and it’s not that way anymore. There’s an old building. That one hasn’t been torn down yet, but they will. They’ll get to it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is where it’s all happening. We got TGI Fridays. I’m in the picture! Sometimes I just jump into people’s pictures. Lot of people have their picture taken. It’s kind of a New Yorker thing. You jump in on a tourist’s picture and kind of ruin it. There’s an energy to New York that you just feel. Um, everybody… Don’t get hit. Everybody is kind of together and everybody hates each other, but loves each other at the same time. Screw off! People just yell at each other in New York, and it’s great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Great. Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, here’s the thing about Jan. She talks such a big game about, “Oh there’s nothing between us and stop talking about it.” And “Border-line harassment when you call me at home.” But let me ask you this, is it just a coincidence that this meeting is taking place on Valentine’s Day? Answer, maybe, but maybe not. We shall see.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? It was nice to see Devon again. To sort of get closure on that whole thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s think this through. If we ask Corporate for that then…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Could go either way. We don’t know what they are going to say.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Have to think it through. Because if they say no…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No! Yes, we have to! You know why? Because I don’t like to be cooped up in that office! In that box! All day long. [Michael starts playing with a football in the office] Heisman! Because I need to think. Okay, Jim? Oh, Kevin, oh! [laughs] Nice catch. Mmmm, mmm, mmm,mmm. Os-car! Intercepted.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Give it to me. Phyllis, give me the ball. Ok, give me the ball. Give me, you guys… Creed give me the ball! Right now give it to me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You all right Ryan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s what she said!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Grapes. Seductive. So you ready for the big speech this afternoon?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! Abso-fruit-ly. Fruit. Grapes. Nailed the joke. Matter of time. Um… And yes, it is a big speech. Biggest of your life.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Speaker at the Sales Convention. Been there, done that. Went there again, did it again. Two years in a row. Consecutive. I just… I miss the feeling of knowing that you did a good job because someone gives you proof of it. Sir, you’re awesome! Here’s a plaque. What, a whole year has gone by and you need more proof? Here’s a certificate. They stopped making plaques that year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That would look terrible. These are mostly salesmen and salesmen expect to be entertained and you are the main act.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s because you’re incapable of doing it because you don’t know how. Because you have no skills. Dwight, there’s no way I can possibly teach you what you need to know about public speaking by speech time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But I can teach you enough so that you don’t embarrass me or the company.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, if you have a question, you should ask me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t. Don’t try and think of a question to humor me. Just… try not to be such an idiot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Insult.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[stand up comic voice] But seriously, what’s the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s a joke, Dwight. It’s not a Sex Ed class.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, you’re right about the difference between a man and a woman, but not about the punch line to the joke, right? [stand up comic voice] The difference between a salesman and a saleswoman… is boobs!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I do. Both of them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no! They would remember them. Look, it doesn’t matter what you say. It just matters that you’re saying something that people care about. Yeah? All right? Here we go. Watch this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Attention everybody! Attention please! I have some very great news from Corporate. We had a wonderful quarter and as a result all of you are getting bonuses for 1000 dollars!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[generalized clapping and cheering] Congratulations.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You see that? You see how they responded to me? In that moment, I had them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no! It’s not true. I was just talking so just go out there and say anything. They’ll eat it up. They’re a great audience.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "He’s kidding. Dwight was kidding and I don’t know why because it wasn’t funny… and it was just horrible.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. Everybody in the conference room now. Let’s go. Let’s do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "As your leader and your friend, I sort of demand that you can all speak in public as I can… and did… twice. [speaking to camera] You saw the plaque, right? [to office] All right. We’re all going to go around the room and we’re going to make toasts. And that way, we will overcome our fear of public speaking.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam! I’m public speaking. Stop public interrupting me. Actually, this would be good practice for your wedding toast.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. Good. Jim taking the initiative.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh ho hokay. You know what? That’s not a toast. You’re not standing up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, Dwight. Show us what you have learned today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, it’s mostly made up. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight is not going to do a job. It’s sad. And they’re expecting excellence because I did do such a good job. Two years in a row. I killed. It was amazing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Confidence, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s time, Dwight. The grim reaper is here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. You ready? Here we go! Wow. It’s a little bit bigger than I remember. Come on. We’re down here. Right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, they called your name.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. You know what? Okay. No. No problem. You are lucky you have me here. I’m going to cover for you. [shouts] All right!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Gooood morning, Vietnaaaam! I am not Dwight Schrute. Not at all. I am Michael Scott, his mentor and boss. And until Dwight comes up, if he ever does, I wanted to say a few words about excellence. What makes a work environment excellent? Well, there are many things, I believe, that do such a thing of that nature. And one would be humor. What is the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m very sorry. I did not know you were wearing a hearing aid and I just thought you were speaking abnormally. …And now the black guy from the ‘Police Academy’ movies. A robot. [makes robot sounds] Michael Winslow, anyone?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Car starting. [makes car sounds] All right, Dwight Schrute everyone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good luck. That is a tough crowd.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I got thirsty. How’d it go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You would not believe what happened here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! This woman came in, sat down, ordered a drink. The bartender asked for her ID which I thought was odd because I pegged her at like 35.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, it was weird. So, she was like ‘I don’t have my ID, please give me one.’ And he was like ‘I can’t do that. I can’t serve you.’", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "She might have been. So she says ‘Fine. I will go to my room. I will get my purse. I will come back. I’ll show you my ID.’ She hasn’t come back yet. She’s probably in her room drinking from the mini-bar! Right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight gave a great speech. That’s the word on the street anyway. And I entertained Dwight to no end with my bar stories. So, I captivated the guy who captivated a thousand guys. Can you believe that? A thousand guys?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s it? You’re going to end with “etcetera”? Okay, what’s this big organizational system that…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That would be suicide. Never, never talk specifics. Not in a speech. But the fact that you have no idea what to say is, believe it or not, the least of our worries.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s your delivery…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Our biggest worry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "My God, Dwight. The best way to learn is by watching. That’s why porn is a multi-trillion-dollar industry. Listen. Okay. Sit down, let me wow you. [clears throat] [shouting]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "See, I have your attention now, don’t I? You’re scared, but now you’re ready to learn.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, it did not. And that is because at no time did you employ the use of humor. We’ll find you a joke that not even you can ruin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, listen up, please. Dwight has a joke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Iraq is sand. Sailors are on water.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, well, you know what? We need to… All right, everybody in the conference room now. Let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who’s gonna start. How about Phyllis? You kick us off and then we’ll move around. Go ahead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Anything your heart desires.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[shouting] Louder!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. Good, good, good. That’s good. Now see, that’s not so hard, right? All right. Who’s next? Who are we going to… Ryan. Ryan’s next.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t be shy, shy boy. Don’t be shy. Get up there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop! Stop! Stop! That’s, you know what? The toast is really not supposed to be about anything. It’s certainly not supposed to be about going anywhere or doing anything else, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ryan is a temp, and that means that he could go at any time. Am I worried about that? Try scared to death.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ghosts. Lots of ghosts in this old Radisson. There it is, Rosebud Room. Memories. Wow, this turnout is pathetic. I packed the house, you know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Numismatic. Numismatic Collectors. Nope, wrong room.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. They got sports medicine seminar, nope. Science fiction convention, nope.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re weird.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are you a 12-year-old girl? I don’t know. There we go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, look at me. I’m huge in Wilkes-Barre. Performing nightly, Michael Scott. Not comedy fans here, which is fine because not having a sense of humor is just as fine as having one. Questions? Comment? Can’t see you, but I know that you’re not breathing. I know you’re breathing. Is this on? Hello? “Well, isn’t that… Well, isn’t that special?” “Jell-O pudding.” Bill Cosby. I think Bill Cosby said it best when he talked about his brother and all of the fun he… All the great things they did together as kids. And there was the one time when he put the snowball in the freezer, and it… And he waited for five months and then he took the snowball out and he threw it… He would have thrown it at the kid but then his mother had thrown out the snowball so he couldn’t throw it. So… Bill Cosby is smoking! And now some race car. [imitating race car engine] That brings me to my… Brings me to a point that you should always have a list of your clients. It’s important to because a client list is next to godliness… List. [baby crying] Could you shut him up, please? I mean, who brings a baby to a sales conference? Really rude.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam. Ms. Beasley if yer nastay! Janet Jackson. Hey! You having a wardrobe malfunction there? Or w—", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "… Oh, God is that today?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Listen, I like kids. But this is not a kid’s environment. This is like HBO, no limits. Who knows what I’m going to say? Crazy stuff. And it is R rated, it is not rated G. I am like Eddie Murphy in “Raw,” and they are trying to make me into Eddie Murphy in “Daddy Daycare.” both great movies, but, still.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I’ll be in my office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They’re cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Hi, children. I’m Michael Scott, and… I… am in charge of this place… ahh, what’ll make you… understand… I am… like Superman, and the people who work here are like citizens of Gotham City.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, I’m Aquaman. Where does he live, guys?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[under his breath] I work with a bunch of nerds.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, yes, hello, how are you? Good to see you. Wow, you’ve really grown up. You know what? Don’t mind me saying so, she is turning into a stone cold fox. Better keep the… frat boys away from her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, middle school’s amazing. It is extraordinary. An extraordinary time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s not that children make me uncomfortable, it’s just that, why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle? I’ve never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[while Jake is throwing things at Michael] They want how many spiral pads?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on phone] Just compare last year’s order to this year’s. Uh-huh. Yeah, I’m looking at it right now. [Sasha walks in the door] … Yes. We–yeah, they’re very–they’re different. [Sasha walks out] Yeah, we can stick with last year’s, you’re just going to have to supplement it, somehow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on phone] Yes. Well… we can… [Sasha walks in, begins playing with Michael’s toy train] uhm… hey, uh, you know what? Can I call you back? I’ll call you right back. Yes, I promise. …Hello, can I help you? … You can pick that up, if you want. That’s— that’s alright. [Sasha moves the train to Michael’s desk] Want to bring it over… here, make some room. My name’s Michael. What’s your name?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nice to meet you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, you know what that is! That is a train whistle, like I’m the conductor. [blows into whistle] But I’m sort of the conductor of the office here, right? [blows into whistle] You want to try?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All aboard for sales! Next stop, Cu…camonga! [Sasha and Michael laugh]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight! Dwight!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What the hell are you reading to them?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, you know what? No, no no no no. They, no. The kids don’t want to hear some wierdo book that your Nazi war criminal grandmother gave you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s a Nazi?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t! Don’t! Don’t talk about Nazis in front of— you know what? They’re going to have nightmares, so why don’t you just shut it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sighing] Why don’t you just leave? Okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright. There goes Mister Poop. Now, who likes Dane Cook?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Children cannot lie. They are innocent, and they speak the truth, and out of the mouths of babes, Michael Scott is freaking cool. [cracks up]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is where the magic happens! Right over here, let me show you this. See all these? [pets shelf of paper] You know what that is? That’s paper. This is where paper comes from. Any questions?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, we don’t actually cut the paper. That’s a good question. The paper is sent to us cut, and dyed, from a paper manufacturer, and then we sell it to a business for more than we paid for it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes it is, well, w-w–you need someone in the middle to facilitate…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not just a middle… man…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You are describing Office Depot, and they’re kind of running us out of business.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…There’s Creed! Let’s take a look at what he’s doing, everybody! This is Creed, and he is in charge of… something. Right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Say hi to the kids.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yaaaaay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are you doing? N–stop it! Stop it! Just–no, no, no, no! No! Would you cut it out?! What is your problem?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No no no, we’re not gonna see— we’re not gonna see the four toed… Creed, okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know, there’s something interesting about me you might want to know. I … used to be … the star of a kids show.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s true. I did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am totally serious. There was a show called ‘Fundle Bundle’ and I was the star.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s true! I can prove it! I can prove it, watch this. [gets up and runs out] Ryan, can you come here a second? [clears throat] I would like you to go to my mother’s house in Dickson city, and if she is in the pool, the back kitchen window should be unlocked, I want you to boost yourself up, I want you to go down to the basement. In the basement is a tape labeled ‘Fundle Bundle’. I want you to grab it, I want you to get my guitar.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I want you to get the tambourine. Do you know how to play the tambourine?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oka–", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay! Thank you Ryan. Good attitude, hottest in the office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Abby] Alright, nowwww… what kind… of pizza do you like?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. You joke around with them, you give them pizza, you give them candy, you let them live their lives… They’re adults, for God’s sake.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am going to give you a little blast from the past of Michael Gary Scott when he was a child star, and a show that you might remember called ‘Fundle Bundle.’ Okay? Without further ado, Ryan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That… is Miss Trudy. Can’t tell from the costume, but she had an amazing body. Okay, you can… fast forward. And… I want you… to…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop! Stop! Stop! [Ryan resumes the tape] Yes! That is, uh, Edward R. Meow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uhh, I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Can everyone please shut up, please! So you don’t miss it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! That’s me. Shh. Shh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Coulda sworn there was…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…uh, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, just never happened.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh, nope.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I do okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay! Alright, okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 39 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…I guess not… you know, I have a load of work to do so I am going to grab a slice of this delish pizza… and I’m going to go do my work. Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 41 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Toby knocks on door] Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, that’s okay, she can keep those.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You have to ask me that because you work for human resources.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, sure, playing the field is great, don’t get me wrong, but there’s more to life than notches just on my bedpost.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Tell me something honestly, do you… think… that it is too late for me to have kids?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What about…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…Jan. Kay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…Or biologically.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thanks, that’s, no, that… that really means a lot to me. Hey, does Sasha have a godfather, because I…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… kay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, it is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username. And… I have a great one [types]. Little kid lover. That way, people will know exactly where my priorities are at.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, uh, no, please? You can’t leave yet. There’s still one more thing we need to do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] You… who are on the road… must have a code… that you can live by… [Dwight joins in] and so… become yourself… because the past… is just a goodbye… and teach… your children well…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "One more time. [singing] You…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, don’t touch him, please!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Didn’t do background checks of the warehouse guys. [exclaims] Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. There you go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So, Phil recruited me to sell these cards, and now I am recruiting you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t worry about Phil. He drives a corvette. He is doing just fine. Okay. Calling cards are… the wave of the future. These things sell themselves.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? That’s a nice attitude, Ryan, I’m just helping you invest in your future, my friend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes! Thank you! You will get rich quick. We all will!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country, okay? …Alright, so, raise your hand if you wanna get rich. [Jim and Dwight raise their hands] Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, let me explain. Again. [draws on board] Phil has recruited me and another guy. Now, we are getting three people each. The more people that get involved, the more who are investing, the more money we’re all going to make. It’s not a pyramid scheme, it is a… it’s not even a scheme per se, it’s… [Jim draws a triangle around Michael’s diagram] … I have to go make a call.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh ho ho! What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you! That’s really nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Today is my B-day, and people around here just go crazy for it. I don’t know why. Oh! Fun fact. I share my birthday with Eva Longoria. So, I have a perfect ice-breaker if I ever meet Terry Hatcher.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, thank you sir.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Dwight knocks on door] Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohh, god.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No no no, no, new suit, please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you very much. It is from Italy. [checks jacket] Actually— no, Bulgaria.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good luck. One of a kind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not necessary, the party planning committee is all over it. They’ve been working twenty-four seven all day yesterday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t! Nope! Please, don’t want to spoil it for anybody. Spoil the surprise.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s get the party started. Not the way I taught you! [Michael joins in]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[answering phone] Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, great, put her through.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It is urgent, I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? ‘Cause, I thought we had the same birthday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thanks. [grins]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nope. Totally private. You can say whatever is in your heart. [Jan hangs up]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Ryan, sitting across from Michael] …You can take a five, if you want.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Somebody brought in donuts for my birthday!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Somebody got donuts for my birthday!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You didn’t know it was my birthday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I guess I forgot to give you a donut [closes box].", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here we go. Ohhhkay, this is great! [giggles] Thank you my friends, she is perfect! Ahhh, Dwight, may I have your chair please? And, um, some singles, if you will! Allllright. Nnnnn-dink! [puts single into delivery woman’s pocket, giggles] Okay, um, alright. This has arms. Is that gonna be a… is that alright?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughing] Okay. I’m so nervous.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids… and… I got a really bad rash from the pony, and all the kids got to ride the pony and I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me… for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I got out the pony was already in the truck. And around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[eating donuts while Dwight plays the recorder] Stop it. Stop! What is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, well, it’s on the radio. My birthday blows. Nobody even signed my birthday poster. Probably my mother is the only one that cares enough to send me anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re making it worse. I bet Luke Perry’s friends don’t treat him like this [points to James Dean poster].", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[grinning] Ohhh, God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohhh, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohh, no, no, no! I can’t… Ryan, come on. Let’s do this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whoa whoa! Alright. Alright. Watch it… please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Get in here… everybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Birthday party subs! My gift to you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The best.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, then just have the tomato and ketchup. Still good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just the bread, it’s fresh baked.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mm-kay. Get whatever you want. [under breath] And choke on it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When I was sixteen, I was supposed to go out on a date with a girl named Julie. But there was another Michael in the class that she apparently thought the date was with, so she went out with him, on my birthday. And, she got him a cake, at the restaurant. And it wasn’t even his birthday, but I heard about it the next day in school. So… That was the worst birthday I think I ever had.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kevin? Respect the birthday please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are you done? …Good. Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uhhh… blow out the candle. Okay. Mmmm… [blows out the candles]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "… I asked for trick candles.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Well, when she comes back we’ll do it again. [notices Meredith hugging Kevin] Hello, what about the birthday boy? Haven’t had a hug all day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "… Aww, that… sucks, great. … Wow, that’s good timing. That’s… that’s, sorry, that’s terrible. Terrible news. That’s terrible… terrible news for both of us [takes cake into office and slams the door].", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There you are. Good news. Did some research. It turns out that 98% of people with skin cancer fully recover.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, but it’s not brain cancer. And it shouldn’t stop us from having fun. You know what they say the best medicine is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And laughter… also.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why are you here? I didn’t even invite you to my birthday party.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[mocking voice] Nyeh, I work here. [to Kevin] Alright, well, you know what, since Toby doesn’t speak for everybody and I am your boss, I… think you should just go home. Take the rest of the afternoon off. Take a sick day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you’re pretty much driving everyone else here crazy… crazy with worry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Excuse me, everyone. Attention please. Kevin, we’re going to take you to a very special place, a place that will make you happy, and a place that is far, far away from the evil sun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How dare you sir. You are gross.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sees ‘Happy Birthday Michael Scott!’ poster at skating rink] That should not be there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, it’s alright. It’s already up. Just leave it. Where’s Kevin? Come on! Let’s get our skate on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I’ve been pretty much skating my whole life. I thought about playing in the NHL, but, you’re on the road so much. You got no time to spend with your wife and kids. And I really want a wife and kids.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey Pam, all this stuff with Kevin… um, it’s pretty scary. And I’m thinking that uh, next time you’re in the shower, you should check yourself out. You know, give yourself an exam. Those things are like ticking time bags. Alright? Think about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kevin. You heard anything yet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Well. Live strong.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Carol? She sold me my condo! Hey! What, is this place on the market? Or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, these… all your kids?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, hey guys. Whats up? You wanna go for a ride? Is that okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cool. Alright. Grab on. Here we go. Ready? Hang on tight. Alright. We are moving. We are reaaallly mooovin’ now!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Push. Good! That’s great. You got it. [Kevin’s phone rings] Excuse me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… God… [stomps] God! [throws hockey stick and yellow paper bracelet down] We’re gonna beat this, okay? We’re gonna… come here [hugs Kevin].", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, apparently in the medicine community, negative means good. Which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community, that would… be… chaos.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, who’s this from? Wowwwee, look at that! Jersey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cool. Ohh. Great. From Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you… Dwight. That’s great. Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! You didn’t need to do that. …Nightswept. This is… really amazing. Thank you. I love it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s not how I taught you, right? [singing] My hump, my hump, my lovely lady lump Check it out [Dwight imitating drumbeat]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, here’s the thing about bosses and employees. A good boss will say, “Hey, it’s my birthday. Celebrate me.” A great boss will say, “Hey, it’s my birthday. Celebrate yourselves, because you are the ones who made me great, and I will acknowledge your contributions with donuts.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. You know, Ryan, you didn’t have to get me a present.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. Great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I think you’re gonna stay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "On my 20th birthday, my supposed best friend, Sam Ambrose, ditched me for his twin sister’s Sweet Sixteen party. And that was my worst birthday. Until today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[knock on door] Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, good. Okay. Don’t tell me, tell them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, my God. That’s a piece of cake. That’s a piece of cake. Oh, 2%. Jeez, that’s good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Out of, like, 18 billion Americans, so, no worry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Those were probably misdiagnosed. I mean, anybody with a zit goes in and says, “I have cancer.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Untrue. The heart is bigger than the skin. If you stretched the heart out, it would cover more than the entire body.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ry, is he bugging you? Dwight, dude, you gotta take a chill pill, man. It was one joint in the parking lot. You know, you’re totally harshing the office mellow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[fake coughing] Narc!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I wasn’t attempting to compliment you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uuf, well…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[shakes head] Okay…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why don’t you just cool it, cool it Dwight, please, God! [to Jim] Dude, where’s my office? [Jim quietly laughs] I totally lost it, ’cause I was half-baked. Smokin’ doobies. Doobie brothers, I was smokin’ doobies with my brothers. Peace out, Seacrest!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thanks. M-m-munchies. Who wants some munchies?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Who’s he calling? Ratting somebody out. Narc! Narc! Kevin?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Remember the narc bit? [laughs] Uh-oh, who’s in trouble?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Waa… what? What are you talking about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Two nights ago, I went to an Alicia Keys concert at the Montage Mountain Performing Arts Center. I scored these great aisle seats. Anyway, after the opening act this beautiful girl sits down next to me and I never get to meet girls with lip rings and she had one. I don’t know exactly how this happened but one of her friends started passing around some stuff and they said it was clove cigarettes, and I’m sure that it was clove cigarettes. Everybody in the aisle was doing it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, attention everyone the drug testing has been cancelled. Instead, I will be going around to each of you and doing a visual inspection.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I can do that, it is my office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hmmm. Ha. [under his breath] Alright. Great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It has come to my attention that some people here think that the use of drugs is something to laugh about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, uh, no. That was a test. I was testing you, and you all failed. Miserably. When I said that Dwight was a narc, how many of you defended him? How many of you said, “Hey, you know what, he’s right? What he’s doing is protecting this office from the evils of drugs.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am ridiculously anti-drug. So anti-drug that I am above suspicion in any way that involves suspicion, or testing of any kind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Drugs ruin lives people. Drugs destroy careers. Take Cheech and Chong everybody knows that Cheech and Chong are funny, but just imagine how funny they would be if they didn’t smoke pot. I want everybody to take a look to their left. Now I want everybody to take a look to their right. One of those people will be dead from drug use at some point in their lives. This year more people will use cocaine than will read a book to their children.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are these facts scaring you, or are they not?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you think that smoking drugs is cool? Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, enough, enough, enough! I have written down a list of illegal drugs. Take a gander. How many of these are you familiar with?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes it is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, you know what, Toby? Pam, can you take this down? [Pam throws her hands up to indicate she has no notepad] In addition to Toby’s urine being tested, I would like to test his blood and his hair.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I can test anyone randomly, and I have chosen you randomly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, eeny, meenie, miney, moe, is random. Okay, you know what? I’m going to need a volunteer to select one of these words and tell us of something tragic that happened in either their lives, or the lives of a loved one. Yeah, Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? [Jim shakes his head no]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jim it’s okay. You can t… [Jim looks at Pam and shakes his head, Pam looks at him and gestures for Jim to go up and tell his story] This would be a good place to let it out, Jim. These are people you can trust. These are people who care about you. [Jim shakes his head no] It’s okay, just we will not judge you. We are here to not judge you. [Jim stands up] Oh, he’s doing it, okay. [Jim looks at Pam] It’s okay. [Jim pretends to try, looking teary eyed, shakes his head no, mouths “I can’t” and sits back down. Pam is amazed.] Oh. Okay, are you sure? [Jim shakes his head. Kevin pats his shoulder] That looked like it was going to be good. Alright. [Pam nods in admiration at Jim] Okay, well.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The point I’m trying to make with all of this people is that I hate drugs. I hate them, and based upon what I have seen you all don’t quite hate ’em as much as I do so you are going to have a drug test, and I am not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, I will not be.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, well Dwight just know that I’ve been very busy today and I got a lot of work to do and I wasn’t planning on going to the bathroom and I don’t even know if anything is going to come out, okay? So good. Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So I need you to do some work on the St. Andrews account. I need your urine. I need some filing done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just forget it. Just the urine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just. I need your urine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes in a cup, we’re not animals, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s none of your business.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Alright. Just, I went to an Alicia Keys concert, over the weekend, and I think I may have gotten high accidentally by a girl with a lip ring.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I need clean urine for the lady.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t think of it that way. It’s like, urine goes all over the place. You know, there’s no controlling it. It just… goes", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "A cup could find its way under the urine. It might be an accident. It happens.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, just look. Look. Just… just fill up the cup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight. Well, I passed the test thanks to you and your untainted pee. Thank you very much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s wrong? Where’s your costume?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why? Wha…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Since you did such a good job with the investigation, I decided to pull a few strings. Call in a few favors. and I’ve decided to make you official security supervisor of the branch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, sir.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So you wanna? Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. Oh. Uh…[awkwardly salutes]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright. [to Hank] Well, Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Drugs are everywhere in our society. They are omniscient. If you look at the amount of pot that was smoked in the United States last year, that would reach the moon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Exactly. I know. It’s amazing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shut… Shut it. No. Just… Just focus on the facts. Cocaine. They use cocaine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "One thing that you need to remember is that there’s no way of knowing who’s a user, who’s an abuser, because we don’t know. It could be anybody. Your instinct is to say it’s somebody-like Stanley or Oscar…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no! Your instinct. That… Your gut reaction is to say that, but I don’t! That’s, that’s… Those are instincts that have been created by media and hype. And they are wrong. What I am saying is that you just do not know who drug users are. It may be the person you least suspect. It may be somebody hot, like Pam, or it could be somebody matronly, like Phyllis, but just not me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No? okay, fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, well, I really think that… [dial tone beeping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Sorry you had to hear that. It was a lovers’ quarrel.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, let’s get personal for a second, shall we?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, well, I made up some fliers for everybody to take on your way out, in case you’re ever tempted. So there you go. And, Dwight, you know, I’m very busy today. It wasn’t even planning on going to the bathroom, so I don’t even know if anything will come out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t… Let’s just not talk about it, okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, thanks, Fantastic Sam’s. Adult Cut Plus. Comes with a shampoo and blow dry. We’re doing I.D. photos today. Gotta represent.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s a nice tie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is… who makes that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you mind if I wear that for the photo?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[walking into the Conference room] What’s the dealio?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s the problem?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So what, you’re having a little spat. I forget, are you guys dating?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What do you know about conflict resolution? Your answer to everything is to get divorced. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay… what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, well… that’s not gonna fly here. Because in this office, it is till death do us part… assuming we don’t get downsized. [leans over to Pam] Uh, Pam, will you get Angela and meet us in the conference room please?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[holding up a binder] A mediator’s tool chest. Okay, well, before we get started, you should know that are 5 different styles of conflict.[in a comedic voice] My Shaolin temple style defeats your monkey style.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. Okay, this is important. The first style is lose/lose.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just hold on, please! Okay, if we do lose/lose, neither of you gets what you want. Do you understand? You… you would both lose. Now I need to ask you, do you want to pursue a lose/lose negotiation?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Win/Win is number four and number five is win/win/win. The important difference here is with win/win/win, we all win. Me too. I win for having successfully mediated a conflict at work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in front of poster] Okay, since this is the disputed poster. Now, one at a time, I want you to express your feelings using “I” emotion language and no judging or “you” statements.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on, seriously, that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop! Let’s see if we can just brainstorm and find some creative alternatives that are win/win.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. Thank you, Pam. How about Angela makes the poster into a t-shirt, which Oscar wears. That way, he can never see it and whenever she looks at Oscar, she can see it. Win/win/win.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay… well, brainstorm. Own the solution.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, that is called a compromise. And it is style 3. And it is not ideal. To sum up, win/win – make the poster into a t-shirt, win/lose – take the poster down, compromise – Tuesdays and Thursdays. And the answer is… make the poster into a t-shirt! Win/win.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[claps his hands twice] It is done!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Are those all the other complains?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I would like to see those please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You can’t do that, huh? Huh, ok. Now you and I have a conflict. I order you to give me that file.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. [yanks the file away, despite Toby’s resistance] There! No more conflict. [looks at the camera] I had to use win/lose on that. It was not pretty. [looks back at Toby] All right… is that it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohh… God. Alright. Why do I have to do everything?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[looking through papers in the complaint box] This is from Kevin. He says Stanley uses his Miracle Whip without asking. Meredith complains that everyone talks too loud in the morning and the lights are too bright. Creed… huh. Duh, duh. Creed is sick of looking at the redhead all day and wants a seat facing the receptionist.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You will notice that not one of these complaints is against me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How many of you have at one time gone to Toby to complain about another employee? [looks at all the employees, most of whom raise their hands] And… did you get what you wanted, or were you merely listened to, you forget about your problem, and you move on? [employees mumble “merely listen to and forgotten…” ] That is outrageous! I love this place… and it pains me to see all of the negativity festering… [sighs] Okay, today we are going to get everything out of these files and into the open, where it can be resolved. Alright, how about the Phyllis/Angela dispute?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s what she said. [Jim mouths these words along with Michael] The thing is, Angela… you are in here an awful lot. You have complained about everybody in the office, except Dwight, which is odd because everyone else has had run ins with Dwight. Toby, by the way, what does “redacted” mean? There is a file full of complaints in here marked “redacted”… ?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, ok. There were a bunch of complaints about Dwight that were put in the redacted file about six months ago.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, Pamela. Come on down! Let’s do it! And [looks through the file]… okay. Just one complaint. Actually, it has been withdrawn. So that is no help to us. Next.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh… [reading]”Does she have to plan her wedding on office time? Couldn’t she do that at home?” [Pam looks Angela an angry look] Who else? Why don’t we just warm up first? Warm up emotionally, all right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here is a Kelly complaint: “Ryan never returns my calls.” Ugh, join the club.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[crumbles up the complaint paper] Makin’ progress. [Jim raises his hand] Yes?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stanley. [off camera]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[still of camera] You got a lot of anger under there buddy. Come on start us out. Unleash it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Someone complained that the men’s room is “whites only”. Stanley, you know that’s not true.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, Phyllis. You complained that Angela’s giving you dirty looks. And you tried to get off the party planning committee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And… also, Phyllis, Stanley says that you cry too much, and that bugs him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, well… all settled, then.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, Ryan. You told Toby that Creed has a distinct old man smell?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, Kevin. You are accused of making sexually suggestive remarks to Angela that made her feel uncomfortable. Solution: Angela, you are to make sexually suggestive remarks to Kevin that will make him uncomfortable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh. Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay! Calm down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… kay…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[picks up Dwight’s I.D. and snickers] You know your I.D. says you’re a security threat?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay… you two, in the conference room with me. Nobody leaves until we work this out. Cage match!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Cage matches? Yeah, they work. How could they not work? If they didn’t work, everybody would still be in the cage.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, so Dwight, in your own words – [reads from complaint paper] “Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert.” [flips to another paper] “Everyone has called me ‘Dwayne’ all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[reading] “This morning, I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer.” [flips to another paper] “Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the woman’s room. When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.” Gah. “This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[reading] “Every time I typed my name, it said ‘Diapers’.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“By the end of the day, my desk was about two feet closer to the copier.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The Japanese have this thing called shiatsu massage, where they dig into your body, very hard. And it is very painful. And apparently, some people throw up. But the next day they feel great. I’ve never had one. They sound awful.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, there’s like, 300 more of these. Let’s get to them later.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Maybe, I haven’t decided yet. Let’s get to work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Oh… actually, tomorrow’s not good. How about later in the week?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey! Wait. How about a group picture while you’re here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well… that’s… what, a computer camera, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’ll take like two seconds.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ugh… All right. Everybody, [looks around at the employees] come on. Group photo for the newsletter.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on, everybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We resolved a lot today, everybody. Think happy thoughts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good, let’s check that out. [looks at preview screen] Ew, okay, all right. One more. We’ll take one more.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[off camera] You just press the button.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[off camera] Okay, good. Check that out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[off camera] That’s terrible.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[off camera] Let’s pay Mr. Price Gouger. [rejoins the group, on camera] Okay… we can do this. Come on, everybody. All right. Here we go. [flash goes off before he sits down]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It was really hard getting a good picture of fifteen people. He would not give me a good discount. And eight tries added up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[flashback the photo being taken] One, two..[flash goes off] Didn’t say three, did I?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But, I’m sort of an expert at Photoshop, so it turned out fine in the end. When people work together, there is going to be conflict. You can’t outrun your problems.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And that is why the idea of a cage match is so universally appealing. But here’s the thing about cage matches: sometimes you have to open the cage. And that is something Toby will never understand.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing much is happening today. We are having our photo IDs taken. Whoop-de-doo. Can’t always be like The Apprentice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "On Big Brother, something important happens every day. But real life is not like that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I hate it when people don’t tell each other why they’re angry. My dad was like that. I would say, “What’s wrong, Dad? What’s wrong, Dad? What’s wrong, Dad? What’s wrong, Dad? What’s wrong, Dad? What’s wrong, Dad?” Over and over and over. And he would just look at me like I was an idiot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There is this old story about two women who each think they are the mother of this baby. And they can’t decide, so they bring the baby to a wise man. Just like a manager in those days. And the wise man says, “I will adopt this baby and raise it as a Hindu.” See? They didn’t expect that. And that fixed it. Because I think he was the dad anyway.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There are dozens of old complaints in here. Cold cases, like the show. [imitating gonging] And Toby is a lazy detective who has decided that these armed robberies and rapes and murder/suicides are not important enough to solve. Well, you know what? I have a problem with that. And I’m going to open up these cases before Toby can kill or rape another person.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow! I never thought Dwight would go postal. It’s always the person you least expect and I always thought Dwight would go postal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“Cage Match”? I don’t know if it was in the packet from corporate, because I barely read any of it. So if you’re asking if I stole their idea, the answer is no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Tonight the Scranton Business Park is having Casino Night and we are converting our warehouse into a full-blown gambling hall. And I know it’s illegal in Pennsylvania, but it’s for charity. And I consider myself a great philanderer. It’s just… It’s nice to know at the end of the day, I can look in the mirror and say, “Michael, because of you, some little kid in the Congo has a belly full of rice this evening.” Makes you feel good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I try not to think of it as lagging behind. It’s more of a David-and-Goliath thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Top 80 percent!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jan, listen, I promise that I will kick it up a notch. Bam!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Emeril. Oh, actually, while I have you, not that I have you or have ever had you, but we’re having our Casino Night tonight and I think everyone would love to see their fearless leader here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am, but you are the Eva Peron to my Cesar Chavez.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, come on. Come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know, it’d be fun. I can hear it in your voice. You need a break.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jan and I understand each other. The romance thing is sort of on hold for the time being, but we’ve remained good friends. Good friends with privileges. Not now, some day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, everybody. Tonight’s event is to benefit the Boy Scouts of America.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, they need our money. They don’t have cookies like the Girl Scouts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, Oscar, if you don’t like it, then you should concentrate on winning. Because the person at the end of the evening with the highest chip count will receive $500 to donate to the charity of their choice. And they will get a mini-fridge compliments of Vance Refrigeration.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So get your charities in to Pam. I, for example, am playing for Comic Relief.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Comedy is very much alive, as are homeless people.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, then, they need our money more than ever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby? We’re gonna…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not… that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief, since apparently it doesn’t exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s a dog.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s a shawl.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. Humans with AIDS.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, you know what? No. No. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians, JFK, AIDS, the Holocaust. The Lincoln Assassination just recently became funny. “I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head.” [laughs] And I hope to someday live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke. It’s one of my dreams.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have already put down the deposit. Do you understand how a deposit works?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s Casino Night like Las Vegas. There are fire-eaters all over the place.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, actually, it’s my warehouse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why are you here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not. I said, not that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s ironic.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That you are afraid.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dinkin’ flicka.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Give me some. [Michael and Darryl perform simultaneous hand gesture]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[phone rings] Yes", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do I know a Carol Stills?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, yeah, put her through. Hey Carol, how goes the real estate biz? Is it real good?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi, Carol. How you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, hey, no problemo. Incidentally, I love the place.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Great. It has a little bit of a weird smell. It’s okay. At Christmas, the tree helped.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Actually, I’m sort of hosting this charity thing in our warehouse, Casino Night.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, it’ll be good. You know what? Why don’t you come by? Bring the papers, I’ll sign them and then you can stay and have a drink.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. It’ll be fun. What do you…[phone rings] What do you…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I’m sorry. Could you hold on? Yes?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, put her through. [Deep voice] Jan Levinson, I presume?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Jan. How you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "AIDS.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, sounds great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Bye Hello, Carol? Hi, sorry about that. I just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 38 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Problem. Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 40 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good, All right. Sounds great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 42 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 44 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 46 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Carol.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You look great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, well… Kiss. [Michael kisses her on the cheek, pauses and then kisses her on the other cheek] That’s how we do it in the paper biz. It’s European and… Yes? Ah, Dwight [Kisses cheeks]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Can I get you a drink? The food is from Hooters.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Billy, your nurse is hot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Your nurse became your girlfriend? Sweet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Chili’s is great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Welkommen, Bienvenue, and welcome to Monte Carlo! Dwight. I am no longer your boss. Lady Fortune is your boss.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shut it, shut it, shut it. Will Lady Fortune be your mistress? Only time will tell, my friends. Leave all your preconceived notions about casinos at the door. Old friends, new lovers, and the disabled! Welcome all! Great, okay. Shuffle up and deal. Let’s get it started! Black-Eyed Crows.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All-in. [Other players fold their hands]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Bluffing is a key part of poker, which is too bad, because I’m not very good at bluffing. Did you believe me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are… That’s insane.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, Toby, I went all-in on the first hand, so doesn’t that tell you that I might have good cards, too? So don’t be stupid. Just take it back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, all right, whatever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You really screwed that up. [Michael leaves]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, whatever. Hey, you know what? If luck weren’t involved, I would always be winning. [Sees Jan] Oh, my God. Oh, my God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look, okay, I think we’re all adults here, and it has always been my understanding that we have an open relationship.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "After you said you weren’t coming, I invited Carol to come and I don’t think that I did anything wrong.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey. What…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Four! [Holds dice in front of Carol] Blow. Blow for luck! Yeah! Also, you. Not playing favorites. [Holds dice in front of Jan] All right, here we go!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So close. So close.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Thanks for coming.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Talk to you Monday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good night. She’s a good boss.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, she’s great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Love triangle. Drama. All worked out in the end, though. The hero got the girl. Who saw that coming? I did. And Jan was really happy for me. So actually the hero got two girls. He got the girl that he works with and he got the girl that he buys real estate from. So, I’ve got my New York girl and my local flavor. Life is good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I want somebody to give me the name of one of our biggest competitors.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. Yes, that will work. All right. Now I need a plural noun. [All groaning]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How about a location?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Where the hell is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, all right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no. No, no, not until you give me an adjective.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We already have that. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, Toby, damn it, come on! We already have that. I need something fun. Something like fat or smelly. Or pukey. Pukey. Pukey’s good. Okay. Pukey. Now I need a noun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. Thank you, Phyllis. That wasn’t so hard. All right, here we go. “Office Depot is an annoying store. One day Creed went there to buy paper. And he ran into irritating Cylons.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“One of them was named Michael Scott, and he was an…” Oh, damn it. Okay. Okay, okay, we’re… Okay, we’re starting over.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look, if anything goes missing, we will reimburse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dang! Paper making paper, I.e. money.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Paper money. [clears throat] Yeah. The company’s doing fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey. Okay. You know what? Don’t even think. I command you to just go down and have fun tonight. All right? Don’t think about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Our numbers are down, yes, but we have a heck of a crew here in Scranton. Hardworking, motivated, dynamic. Every single last one of them. They follow my lead. I sort of set the tone. And it doesn’t hurt that my ex works for corporate. Jan loves this branch, and I think that’s really more than half the battle.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No! That is the fun of this place. I call everybody “faggie”. Why would anybody find that offensive?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s what faggie means!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It wasn’t just an action movie, it was Die Hard!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Exactly!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, a little too far, crossed the line.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I would have never called him that if I knew. You don’t… You don’t call retarded people “retards”. It’s bad taste. You call your friends “retards” when they’re acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Listen man, I am so sorry. I had no idea.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. No it’s not. I feel terrible about it. I have been calling people “faggie” since I was in junior high, and I have never made this mistake. If I don’t know how to behave, it is because I am just so far the opposite way, you know? I’m just… I, I can’t even imagine… the… thing. Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime. And you could tell me… how… you do that to another dude.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Can you tell who’s gay and who’s not?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What about Oscar?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, he is.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[deep sigh] There could be others… I need to know. I don’t want to offend anybody else.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, I’m sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, what about Angela? She’s hard and severe. She could be a gay woman.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know, I can imagine her with another woman, can’t you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do some research. Find out if there’s a way to tell by just looking at them.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s ridiculous.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sighs] Let’s call him and get the website.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, they’re sold out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I watch the L Word. I watch, Queer as F***, so…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What? What does that even…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, gay pride, right? Gay pride parade? It’s not like gay… shame festival.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think Angela might be gay. Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair? Maybe! Is that what this is about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t kn–", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Anything’s possible.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs] Well, I’m not gay Jan, and you should know that better than anybody!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The company has made it my responsibility today to put an end to 100,000 years of being weirded out by gays.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Trick question! Cause you can’t always tell, so… how would I know. Is that the right answer?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[looking at gay porn] Nothing wrong with this stuff. At all. This is fine. You know what. Gay porn, straight porn, it’s all goooooood! I don’t particularly get into this. But uh, you know what. I totally see the merit! And actually… it is quite beautiful.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[yelling] All right, everybody in the conference room! I don’t care if you are gay, or straight, or a lesbian, or overweight! JUST GET IN HERE! RIGHT NOW!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you know that gay used to mean happy? When I was growing up it meant lame. And now it means a man, who makes love… to other men.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’re all homos! Homosapiens. Gays aren’t necessarily who you think they are, people. I mean anybody could be gay. Business-men. Like antique dealers, or hairdressers, or… accountants. Oscar, why don’t you take this opportunity to officially come out, to everybody here. However you want to do it. Go ahead. Stand up. I’m doing this for you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who should be the judges and juries of our society?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, that’s a good point. She has a good point. Because gay marriage currently is not legal, under U.S. law. I bet a lot of straight men wish that applied to them. So they could go out there and have some torrid unabashed monkey sex as much as they could. You know? Sounds pretty good, right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s great. Congratulations Phyllis. That is great, and frankly kiiiiiiiind of amazing! [laughs] See? Everybody has a chance!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But still, Phyllis, in college? Did you ever experiment with other women? A lot of women do!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughing] Right! [serious] And I take that as a compliment.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I just like to look good OK, so —", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I am just coming out myself. I am coming out hetero!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No no no. The only signal that I am sending is:", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Look, if I was gay, I would be the most flamboyant gay you have ever seen. I would be leading the parade covered in feathers, and just… I would be waving that rainbow flag.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You misunderstand– OK. You know what, OK. I uh, I’m gonna put my money where my mouth is. You ready? I am going to embrace Oscar. You might want to watch this Angela, because you can’t catch anything. Here we go. We are going to make a statement. You and I are going to make a statement together. Oscar is my friend —", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…and I just don’t care who sees it, doesn’t bother me!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, um… sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sobbing] I’m sorry I called you faggie. You’re not faggie. You’re a a good guy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[embracing Oscar]You know what, I’m going to raise the stakes. I want you to watch this. And I want you to burn this into your brains. Because this is an image that I want you people to remember for a long time to come. Whenever you come into the office I want you to think about this. [awkwardly kissing Oscar] I did it. See. I’m still here. We’re all still here. [everyone claps]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Dwight gets up to kiss Oscar] Oh come on! Dwight! Come on, man!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We are not in the playground anymore. There are new rules. We have to be mature. But we can’t lose the spirit of child like wonder. What is love… anyway? Maybe it’s supposed to break all the rules. Like me and Jan. Or Oscar… and some guy. Life is short. When two people find each other, what should stand in their way?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am glad that today spurred social change. That’s part of my job as regional manager. But you know what? Even if it didn’t, at least we put this matter to bed. …that’s what she said. Or he said.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, there’s Gill. Oscar’s roommate. I wonder if he knows?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will do my job to the best of my abilities.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will do my regional manager job to the best of my capability.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Specifically, Jan, I will make at least ten phone calls to clients.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, I have to begin every day by letting Jan know what I intend to accomplish, and then I have to call her at the end of the day to tell her what I did accomplish. But it’s not mandatory. It’s something that I… wanted to do… and so it’s voluntary, really. Even though she… makes me. I think she just wants to hear my voice. Because we’re no longer lovers, and she’s just hurting. But things are going well with Carol. I’ve seen her seven times in the last few months, and I’m growing very fond of her kids. Tommy, who I call Tomas, and the little girl…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[quietly] No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. [Jan hangs up. Toby opens the office door.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sigh]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi, honey. You holding up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, good. By yourself?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Aw. Well, hang in there, okay? You know what? You should get one of this big body pillows. That way you wouldn’t miss you-know-who so much.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Roy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Did you see Oprah yesterday?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I, uh… I am going to be a father.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Angelina Jolie was on. And she adopted a baby from Asia, and she said that it changed her life. And that really inspired me. So, I want you to look into seeing how much a little Chinese baby would cost.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just do it, okay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um… find out if there’s a cheaper, less expensive baby out there, okay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Eight months?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t even know if I’ll want a baby in eight months.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what, Pam? If in ten years, I haven’t had a baby, and you haven’t had a baby…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Twenty years.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thirty.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s a deal.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yesh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right there. Ah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Per diem.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Guess where I am going. I will give you a hint. It is a booze-fueled sex romp, where anything goes. You are correct, sir! I am headed to Philadelphia for the Annual Northeastern Mid-Market Office Supply Convention. And Jim Halpert is going to be coming, which will be fun. Poor little guy. He’s been stuck working under Josh, the poor man’s Michael Scott, as he is known around my condo.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sleep with who? Whom, whom… whom?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, wow! Oh my God, I have a great idea. You know what you should do to be hilarious? Wear your wedding dress. It would be a great icebreaker.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, do it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really? Okay. Well, word of advice:", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Josh, how ya doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good to see you. There he is! There’s the traitor! Traitor! Traitor! Come here, you. Come here! Yeah! The product… the progidal… my son returns.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I was shocked when he told me he was transferring to Stamford. It’s like the firemen. You don’t leave your brothers behind, even if you find out that there is a better fire in Connecticut.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah! Wow, I didn’t expect that. It’s good to see you too!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jan? Look, I think we need to set some ground rules.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room. Carol. I’m still dating her, so nothing can happen between us at the convention.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you for being so brave with all of this. Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know! That is specifically why I chose a room close to the elevator. More foot traffic.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is crooked on that side.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey hey!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, that’s how we do it in Scranton. Or did you forget? There ain’t no party like a Scranton party, ’cause a Scranton party don’t stop.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, well, we have time! One for the road, gentlemen?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wish I was. I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, see you guys down there. Change your mind, come back up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ugh, that would be gross. It’s not even lunch yet.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "SWAG! Stuff we all get. I basically decorated my condo for free with all of my SWAG.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Check it out. Hi, I’m Michael Scott, Dunder-Mifflin.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? I’m having a huge blowout tonight, Room 308. Hope you can come.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, cool! Okay, so… can I tell people you’re gonna be there?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So maybe. See ya.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because he’s afraid to fly.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you remember me from last year? There’s a party in my room, 308, can’t miss it, right off the elevator. Tonight. Be there!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yep. Yeah, she’s up front.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t have to, I just know. Yes, hello?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[into phone] See you in a bit. Bye-bye. [to Dwight] May I have a moment of your time please?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I need you to do something for me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I want you to dig up some dirt on Josh. Find out if there are any skeletons in his attic.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Business has been pretty crazy around the office.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Moved Ryan over to your desk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will call him later with that message.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry. Is he why you left?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Opportunity, promotion, blah, blah. You know, Jim, those are just words. Have you taken into account other factors, vis-a-vis bosses? Is Josh funnier than I am? Does he even have a girlfriend? Because I have two, basically.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Jan, Jan? Don’t worry, I have got the tip.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re welcome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, that was a different hundred dollar bill.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have generated a lot of interest in my party this evening.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The party I’m having tonight in 308. Obviously, you are invited.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Any messages for 308? All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey hey, fellers.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, check this out. How about that? A little friendly competition. Stamford versus Scranton.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, Jim. Looks like you picked a bad time to defect, my friend.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay! Excellent. Oh…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shut it. [answering phone] Hey, Pam, what’s up? Yep, yech… no. Tell him I will give him general specifics tomorrow, okay? Yes. [to others] Say hi to Pam!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. That is Josh and Dwight and Jim. [to others] Pam says hi. [into phone] Have fun on your date! Very good, talk to you later. Bye.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You first.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not. It hit the rim. Okay, and… okay. Double or nothing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, let’s…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Fine.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jim and I have different definitions of friendship. I think it’s talking and being friends, and Jim thinks it’s moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh. Well, phooey on that. I, uh, I’m done. I am not going to be speaking with him anymore. Whatevs. Long-distance relationships never work.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, let me tell you what we’re looking for.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sorry, my meeting ran late.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, Jan, really. With a rep from HammerMill.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Used to be. Evan will call you in the morning to work out the details. We can now sell HammerMill products.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, well, maybe next time you will estimate me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, first guest! You are going to have some tequila, my friend.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is the party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Party central! So, what can I do you for? [Guy leaves] All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "People have been filtering in and out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sure. You like Cosmos?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sure, sounds good. So why are you here? Is Josh busy?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I get it! No, no, I totally get it. He made a better paper airplane, Stamford is better in sales… I get it. We had some fun. We had some laughs. And that’s just…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not better than Josh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh my God. You don’t even know. She’s single now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m sorry, man. I’m sorry. Hey, you know what? I will talk to her.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will. I’ll talk to her. You should at least talk to Roy. I mean, he knows exactly how you’re feeling.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey! No, you know, people have been filtering in and out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Evan, this is Jim.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Ernie, how ya doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Best friends.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Some people need dozens of friends to say, “Hey, look at me, I’m popular.” But not me. I’m very picky. I need three, maybe two. When you meet that someone special, you’ll just know. Because a real relationship, it… it can’t be forced. It should just come about effortlessly.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Now, would you do the pleasure of hitting the lights, sir? [lights go out, leaving Michael’s black light on] Ha, ha, ha.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whoa. What are those stains?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, God, I hope it’s urine.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Today I’m headed to Philadelphia for the annual Northeastern Office Supply Convention. [makes horns gesture and heavy metal scream] Wooo-yaaaaah! Oh, these things tend to be kind of crazy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Angela enters Michael’s office] Ah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Per-diem. [singing as he signs] Perrrr-diiiiieeeemmmm! [shows off $100 bill to Ryan] You know, Ryan, it’s all about the Benjamins.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[points to door] Right there.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. What? Oh, yeah, have Pam give those to me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sure you don’t want to come?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Gonna be fun! Change your mind we can get you a cot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "A couple of years ago, I went to one in Hartford. “Connecticut.” And Todd Packer and I went to this bar and met a girl. And [laugh] Packer decides to make out with her. Turns out that her boyfriend is the bouncer at the bar. [laugh] I love this. The bouncer chases us out to Packer’s Vette, jump in the Vette, he peels out, and I [laugh] I don’t make it to the car. [turns serious] Um, and the other bouncers caught up with me and really did a number on me… It was in the paper… [brightens] But to answer your question, yeah, I’m really excited about this weekend.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "See that factory?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I almost worked there.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yup. Yeah, I applied for a job there.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I was going to be a bottle capper.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, I know. Crazy world. Crazy, crazy world.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Josh reminds me of a guy I went to high school with. Big football star, girls loved him. Whatever. Guess what he’s doing now. He’s a TV announcer for the Eagles. Up in the… [laughs] He doesn’t even get to play in the game, I mean.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[waiting on Pam to be done with the microwave] Ahhhhhhhhh. [whispering loudly] I’m hungry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Movie Monday! The only cure I know for the Monday blues is… Varsity Blues!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s gooooo! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Alright, everybody here? Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes pleeeeease! Thank yooouuu!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Entourage!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kevin, would you like to do the scenes from last week?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t whine. Get the window. [Dwight exhales]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Previously on Varsity Blues…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Jan walks in on Movie Monday] Hi Jan! Hope you brought the Milk Duds!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "People work faster after…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No… they have to… to make up for the time they lost watching the movie.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ouchy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Three hours, wow. Have fun. [Dwight walks away staring through the blinds at Michael]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. That’s nice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…what?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…you were at the dentist?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What was Dwight thinking? That he could turn Jan against me? She’s my ex-lover! …ish.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you want an M&M?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No seriously. You should have an M&M, they’re really good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They’re good, huh?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey. I thought you weren’t supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you’ve had a crown put in.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sounds like a good dentist.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’s his name?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Your dentist’s name is Crentist.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Huh. Sounds a lot like dentist.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let me see your teeth. Let me see ’em. Let me see ’em.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You should… floss.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[exhales] Well then… I am glad you’re ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Business is like a jungle. And I… am like a tiger. And Dwight, is like a monkey, that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? [smiling] Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger’s head. We don’t have the technology.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, can I talk to you for a second?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in Michael’s office] Wow, this is tough.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohhhh. Arrrgggh!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I just got off the phone with Jan. And um… she demoted me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. You know what the craziest part of this is? She demoted me to your job!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And she said that you should be expecting a call later from corporate, and that um, I guess that means that you are going to be acting manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know. I told her I didn’t know whether you’d wanna do it… because you’ve always been so loyal to me. You’ve been my most trusted ally.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yep, I did. I did. But I think… you should do it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[exhales] Perfect, well, we’re settled.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. Well then, you are now acting manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton Branch, and I… am assistant regional manager.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohh..", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[muttering] Can’t you? That’s so nice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well… I guess we should go tell the troops.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, hi, hello. Everybody, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. I… am being replaced, as your leader, by Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You might think that I am kidding, and I understand that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because, Dwight… never lies.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because that’s all it takes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, Dwight, would you like to say a few words to everybody… about loyalty?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I’ll be fine.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, I don’t, but—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I… won’t. I won’t.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I guess it’s time, that I turn over the keys, to the famous Sebring.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s a corporate lease Dwight, you’ve earned it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But you said you liked it. You’ve always admired it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Michael finally breaks] Take it back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s my car.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "THAT’S MY CAR.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, Dwight. I know. I know. I know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jan called me about your little meeting!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, what you did. I made the whole thing up, Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh do you? Do you like the Sebring— HOW DARE YOU?! How dare you, Dwight?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Give me one good reason why I should fire you RIGHT HERE ON THE SPOT?!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not. Good. Enough!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I have a laundry machine!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You can get up. Get up. [Dwight gets up with spit hanging from his lips] And you can hug it out, bitch. [Dwight and Michael have a firm embrace]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hug it out, bitch. That is what men say to each other, after a fight. They hug it out, and doing so, the just… let it go. And walk away. And they’re done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman however. I have found. It doesn’t translate.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yep. Yeah, we hugged it out. But, it turns out, I was still a little angry. So, I felt I needed to punish him, just a little bit more, [cut to Dwight standing on a box with “LIAR” written on a piece of paper hung around his neck, Dwight’s head hung in shame] and I’m making him do my laundry for a year.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. [Jan leaves Michael’s office; Dwight enters]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It is not your business, Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What do you know about management, Dwight?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not firing anyone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "… What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Here we go. Everybody, you know what? It dawned on me we were all in there watching a movie together before we were so rudely interrupted, Let’s get back in there. [no takers] Come on. Movie Monday! Come on, Stanley let’s go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ryan?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, well, we had scheduled this time to watch a movie together, so I guess I will just go play some online Scrabble.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So, she sleeps with him, but she is still in love with the head surgeon, um, the McDreamy guy, and she starts crying, but the dorky doctor, he’s in love with her… [phone rings]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey Ryan, can I get you a pencil from the warehouse?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, it’s okay, I’m going down.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, I’ll be right back. [goes down pretend stairs]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[hands Ryan pencil] There you go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re welcome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t mind if I do. See you in a minute. [goes back down pretend stairs and grabs pen from Stanley’s desk]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There you go, fresh from the warehouse.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There’s coffee in the kitchen, Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[breathless] All right. Okay. [goes back down pretend stairs, crawls on belly to the kitchen for the coffee]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am like Bette Midler in For the Boys. Gotta keep the troops entertained.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[sighs] All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oookay. Let me see if I have his cell. Is this the only reason you are calling, Jan? Or does somebody miss me?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, wow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Attention, everybody. I just received a call from corporate with some news they felt that I should know first. My old boss Ed Truck has died.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, I am. It’s very sad. Because he was my boss.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s right, you worked with him. So did Creed. Well, I’ll be in my office in case anybody wants to drop by. Cheer me up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So did you hear the news?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, gosh, what can anybody do, really? It’s… pssssh… . He was almost 70. Circle of life.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[holds out arms to Pam]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Mmmmmm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Must really have you thinkin’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The older you get, the bigger the chance is you’re gonna die. You knew that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh my God.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is just not the way a Dunder Mifflin manager should go, I’m sorry. Alone, out of the blue, and not even have his own head to comfort him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clears throat] So, I’m not exactly sure how to say this…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are you doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t… he was driving on the road and he went under a truck. And that’s when his head was separated from the rest of him. And I will let you know more as soon as I find out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn’t even work here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You really don’t get it, do you? You don’t understand these people. That is the last thing that they would want is a day off.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[thoughtfully] A statue.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I think it would be very realistic, it would look just like him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We could have his eyes light up, we could have his arms move…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I think that is a great way to honor Ed.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Life-size.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, we are talking about how to properly honor a man who gave his life as regional manager of this company, Jan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mm hm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh do you? You know who wished they could get back to work is Ed Truck.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But Ed truck can’t because he is—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "DEAD.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s perfect.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oohh… can you imagine how much blood there was? If it happened right here, it would reach all the way to reception. Probably get on Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you know what? I didn’t wanna hear about it either, Stanley, but I did and now I can’t stop picturing it. He leaves work, he’s on his way home… wham! His cappa is detated from his head!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you know what? There’s something wrong with you. There is something wrong with everybody in here. Because we have lost a member of our family and you don’t wanna talk about it, you don’t wanna think about it, you just wanna get back to work!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There are five stages to grief, which are [glancing at computer screen] denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. And right now, out there, they’re all denying the fact that they’re sad. And that’s hard. And it’s making them all angry. And it is my job to try to get them all the way through to acceptance. And if not acceptance, then just depression. If I can get them depressed, then I’ll have done my job.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I am going to throw you this ball. When you catch the ball, I want you to say the name of a person very important to you, somebody really special who died, and then I want you to say how they died, and you may cry if you like, that is encouraged. Let me just start. Let me show you how this works. I catch the ball. I lost Ed Truck. And… it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears… and at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer… and then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone… and I’m crying, and nobody can hear me, because I am terribly, terribly… terribly alone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, fine. Hurry back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[as Pam returns to conference room] Okay, we can start. Um…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Pam, you’re a member of this family. So we will wait for our family members. Phyllis, you wanna give it a shot?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, why don’t you throw the ball to somebody else.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[returning ball to Stanley] Oh, yes Stanley. Come on. Your turn, you have to go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay… I’m going to toss the ball to Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow. If you wanna cry, that’s okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you want to talk about it anymore?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wait a second. That’s Weekend at Bernie’s. [upset] Do you think that this is a game?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, we’re starting over.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You are not leaving. No! We are not done.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Well, you know what? The guy who had my job has died. And nobody cares! And he sat at my desk. [breaking down]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How do you know?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That that bird was dead? Did you check its breathing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Was its heart beating, Toby? Did you check it? No, of course you didn’t. You’re not a veterinarian. You don’t know ANYTHING! [runs out of conference room crying]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[seeing bird] Oh, God!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh my God! Oh my God, come on …", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh shhhh–oot!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, he’s not.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, he’s not. [cradling bird next to face]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 38 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you can’t get diseases from a bird!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 40 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We don’t know if it’s dead.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Attention everybody. This will only take a second of your time. Today at 4 p.m. we will be meeting in the parking lot to have a funeral service for this bird.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I’m sorry to inconvenience you, Meredith. But that is what you do when things die. You honor them. Toby killed this bird. And now we are going to honor it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no! That’s enough! You know what? This bird is dead. He died alone. The least you can do is be there for him now. [to Dwight] Find a box for him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s okay. It’s okay. [pats Kelly on shoulder] Shh… yes, I know, I know. It’s been a tough day, but it’s good to let it show.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are… What are you doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, God, no it’s not! What is the matter with you? Is that the beak!?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Glad you could all make it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, do you have the box?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You made this? Wow. [impressed] That’s… that’s very nice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shhh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There is such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, wow. He…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Does his family know?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But I’m the first in the office?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, yes, sure, I will do that…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…’Cause I’m the first to to find out. Nobody else knows and it is my responsibility to tell them. Well, good. How are you holding up? Want me to come over? [Jan hangs up]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ed Truck died. And it blows. They say that with grief, time makes it worse, which is bad for me because I found out before anybody so I’ve had more time to be sad.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I would like you all to clear your schedules this afternoon, because I am telling corporate to send in a grief counselor. We need to find out what is blocking you. And that way, we’ll be able to honor Ed the way he deserves to be honored. May he rest in peace.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What was that, Kevin?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, you said something, didn’t you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You think that’s funny.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You are disgusting.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, that can’t be right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, then I guess that makes you about the worst grief counselor in the world, doesn’t it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re ruining it, already. They should not be given the choice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow. Wow. No. No. You are the most heartless, soulless person I’ve ever met.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. No. Shh. Enough. It is going to take me hours to undo all the damage that your have done here. Dwight, Ryan, I want you to take the table out. We’re gonna go on a five minute break, and when you come back, we’re going to start with a clean slate, and, in the interim, I would like you to forget everything that Toby has said, okay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t think I’m overstating it when I say that Toby is a plague on this company. And he is worthless. You give people a chance to shine and they blow it, just like you knew they would. Grief counseling is not about, “Are you hungry? Would you like a sandwich?” These people are so far gone, you have to stick a food tube down their throats.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, part of the problem was that Toby talked at you. Now, I am going to talk with you. First off, I want you to be comfortable, because you really can’t grieve if you’re all tight and buttoned up. So, guys, loosen your ties, just take your jackets off if you want. Ladies, let your hair down. You know what? Even take your shoes off. I wanna get personal and I want you all to really open up. And I want you to know that anything and everything can be said.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I found an exercise in Toby’s binder that he managed to miss, that involves screening the part of you that says, “I don’t wanna do that. I don’t wanna talk about that. That is too private.” Here’s how it works. I’m going to throw you this ball.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in his office playing with a Dunder Mifflin Truck when it drops and the “head” of the Truck comes off]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s… Hold it, hold it, hold it. Start, like, right in there. [Dwight digs hole in ground] Just dig.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, give it to me. You don’t know what you’re doing. All right. [Michael starts digging]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing. Let’s just… all right. [talks to warehouse guys] Guys, do you have a box we could use?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uhhh… nothing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, nothing. How was your day?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow. Well. Ok. I don’t care how your day was either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me. Why do you set me up like that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I worked. And then I went home to my condo. And Carol came over. And then we had sex. Is that what you want to hear?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Never ever, ever sleep with your boss. I am so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey Koselli, the Kos. Cosby. Hey hey hey. I love Jello Pudding Pops. My son, Theo, loves Jello Pudding Pops too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Productivity is important but how can I be productive if I have this one little thing in my brain? That I cannot get out. And that one little thing is a soft pretzel. So I’m just going to have my soft pretzel, then I’ll get to work, and I’ll be super productive. Look out for me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[looks at long pretzel line] Oh, shhh… Come on.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh huh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Phyllis embraces Bob ahead in line] Hey, hey, hey! Phyllis, what are you doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I think you’re cutting in line.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, I’m not going to settle down.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Get in the back please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Boooooo. Thank you. [hi-five’s Stanley]. That’s right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No cuts. Oh, Pam. Just the woman I’d like to see. You read my mind.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I thought that maybe you could wait in line for me while I go to the bathroom. You’re an angel.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because I like them a certain way, and if it gets screwed up, then whole thing is blown.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pam, productivity starts with patience and determination. I’ll be back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi. Please tell me that you have a sweet pretzel left.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank God.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Is there anyway that you could do all, all of them?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right! Thank you!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mr. Kosseli. Hey hey hey, the Cos. What’s going on? Do we have a deal? Deal or no deal? Let’s make a deal. So what is the deal?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! Hey! Everyone, I am officially streamlining the efficiency of this corporation. Second…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, second, Toby. Second, I am insisting on increased accountability from every single one of you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And I will be taking questions.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Carmel Dip. But, one question at a time please. Phyllis, Stanley. I want you to switch desks, I’m going to reorganize and restructure the physical layout of the office to maximize everything! I think we’re getting a lot done, don’t you? On paper at least. And we are, after all, a paper company. Are we not, are we not, are we not? Are you with me, are you with me? Thank you very much!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, what time is it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "AM or PM?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. Koselli. With the Jello.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. Right. Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Goodnight!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, that’s really not the way I roll, because sometimes I’m in the zone, and sometimes I’m in the zoning out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you want me to go on Amazon and order you a slang dictionary? Cause I’ll do it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, big if.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "A woman spurned.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I always do.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "If you lay a finger…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Would you look at that? [Hugs Ryan] [Dwight attempts hug] Damn it, Dwight! Come on.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "“9:00 to 10:00, checked in with receptionist. Met with Jan, RE:", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What makes them so good?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I mean, they’re just dough twisted up with some candy. They taste so good in my mouth.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nice dress, Ryan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughing] OK.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. What is Diwali, you may ask? Well, to have Kelly explain it [girly voice] it’s ada blah blah blah, it’s so super fun and it’s going to be great. [normal voice] Lot of gods with unpronounceable names. Twenty minutes later you find out that is essentially a Hindu Halloween.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How come you didn’t get me one?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey. Hey. Stop that. That is offensive. Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do… sign me up… because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s important that this company celebrates its diversity. And you know what, Stanley? Come Kwanzaa time, I have got you covered, baby.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wha? Really? You should! It’s fun.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I love the people here. And if there was one thing I di… don’t really care for is that they can be terribly, terribly ignorant about other cultures. And I don’t want them embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend, Carol.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Diwali is a very important holiday for the Hindus. But, frankly, I’m a little appalled that none of you know very much about Indian culture. So, without further ado, Kelly you are on.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kelly?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um… why don’t you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, all right, all right, all right. This isn’t ‘Lord of the Rings’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Now, a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million and that’s true, but it’s also not true. Because, frankly, there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world. Here are some famous Indians. [slide show] Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar. He is a Nobel prize-winning physicist. Impressive. Apu from the Simpsons. Hilarious. Indian. M. Night Shyamalan. ‘The Village’, ‘Unbreakable’, ‘Sixth Sense’, ‘Sig… ‘", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Spoiler… alert.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just stop it. [slide of Michael & Carol kissing] What’s the… oh, whoa! [laughs] Where did that come from?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And another thing about the Indian people… they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who’s seen that before?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you, Kevin.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I find it beautiful.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, You’re not going to collect them.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. This is delightful, charming culture.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "My Indian Culture Seminar was going great until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It’s just sex. People… everybody does it. I’m doing it… with Carol! Probably tonight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[points at woman] What does that look like to you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No one’s even going to notice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, Kevin. It’s a costume. Why don’t you just cool it, okay? Carol? Carol.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’ll have one of those as well. Thank you very much. Now these are limes, lemons, onions…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, yuck. [spits out food]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. These s’mores are disgusting.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you think they have any s’mores?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All they are is chocolate, graham cracker, and marshmallow. How difficult would that have been?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow, thirty years? And you two only met once before the wedding night?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! She’s not a cheerleader. She thought this was a costume party! Um… no, we’re not married… yet!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "She is. Very fair and very kind. So… um… tell me, is your marriage the kind of thing where when you die she has to throw herself on a fire? No? Okay. It’s still very cool. Ok. Thanks!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m going to be. [to DJ] Hi, I’m just going to get this for a sec… just a sec. [speaks in microphone] Um… everyone? I’m sorry, could I have your attention, please. Thank you. Ah-hah… Hi. Sorry. I just have an announcement to make. Um… okay. I have learned a lot about Indian culture tonight. But I have learned even more about love. And I know you’re all thinking ‘who is this crazy gringo and what is he talking about?’ Well, I’m not crazy. Maybe I’m crazy in love. So without further ado, Carol? Carol Stills. I would like you to do me the honor of making me your husband.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What do you say?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t hear you. [laughs]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[lowers microphone] Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. I get it. I get it. You’re not ready. We’ll wait. This is a classic…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, well, but I … I feel like I’ve known you many lifetimes. Maybe I’m Hindu after all. Okay, I’m not Hindu, but… Carol. Carol, I just… I feel like… I just like you so much.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok. Okay. Good night. [louder] Hey, you know what? Why don’t I come with you. Cause I’ve got this book called the Kama Sutra.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. Good night.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, God! [chokes on food] Oh. Wow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s so spicy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. You waiting for a call?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wow. Pam. When Carol said ‘No.’ tonight, I think I finally realized how you must be feeling. We are both the victims of broken engagements.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I was in that marriage arena, though.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Uuuuh… well.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’re so alike. So alike. [leans in to kiss her]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are you doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m… what? I didn’t", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[scoffing noises] Can I have a ride home?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "These are not my shoes. This is just like that show ‘Taxi Cab Confessions’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is going out to Indians everywhere. It’s a tribute to one of the greats… Mr. Adam Sandler. [sings] Diwali is a festival of lights. Let me tell you something. Tonight has been one crazy night. So put on your saris, it’s time to celebrate Diwali. Everybody looks so jolly. But it’s not Christmas, it’s Diwali. The goddess of destruction Kali stopped by to celebrate Diwali. Don’t invite any zombies to a celebration of Diwali. Along came Polly to have some fun at Diwali. If you’re Indian and you love to party, have a happy, happy, happy, happy Diwali. Happy Diwali!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How do I explain this to Jan?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, please, stop talking. Three words or less.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "An Indian Halloween. Okay, great. [to phone] Pam, could you put Jan on, please?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello, Jan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, I was letting everybody go to the big Diwali party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is Diwali?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You don’t know what Diwali is? Wow, Jan. I’m surprised. It’s the Hindu festival of lights. I just assumed you’d be familiar with it. It’s the most sacred and honored Hindu holiday in the world. It’s like Christmas, Easter, and Halloween—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "—rolled into one.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I bet you’re not even aware that our own Kelly Kapoor, who works in…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "… customer service is a Hindu person.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You do?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, I dunno about that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "For Kelly, that seems a bit much.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[hangs up]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, you should see her naked.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I had promised Carol a romantic evening on the town. Um, I wanted to take her on this spooky hay ride thing, but it was like seventy dollars a person, and she’s allergic to hay. So I said, “Pop a Claritin, and I will spot you the seventy bucks,” and she’s like “I don’t like to borrow money or take unnecessary medication.” And I’m like, “Well you’re really not gonna like what I slipped in your drink last night.” And she’s like, “What the hell are you talking about?” And I’m like, “I’m kidding. I didn’t put a roof…” [cracks himself up] … We laughed so hard… It was hilarious… oh… [calms down] So yes, I’m very excited about the Diwali party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And perhaps the most important person to Indian culture, Sir Ben Kingsley. Because of him, the British left India, and then he became an actor like Ronald Reagan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So, any questions?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There she is – Jan Levinson. First…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…thing in the morning. Love to start my morning with a hearty bowl of Jan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] Just call me Levinson in the morning, baby.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t understand.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "On whom’s authority?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re welcome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Am I a small number person or a severance package person?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh… [burrys head in hands] Oh, my god. Oh, my god! I don’t really get it ’cause we’re not doing that bad and our numbers are gonna come up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, you gotta be… Josh?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh really, what role is that? King of the stupid universe?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It is an outrage, that’s all. It’s… hey’re making a huge, huge mistake. Let’s see Josh replace these people. Let’s see Josh find another Stanley. You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well they don’t. There is no Stanley tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm. With Phyllises and Kevins sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Pictures. Memories. [Picks up a framed photo of Stanley’s daughter from Stanley’s desk] Look at that. They grow up so fast.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t say that. That just sounds weird. Please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well… we have nothin to talk about, Dwight. Just do your work … while you still can.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, great! Amazing. Best physical condition of my life.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing. Just checking in. I can’t tell you, so…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing, Pam.[whispers to himself] What difference does it make? We’ll be gone in a couple of weeks anyway.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do I have any messages?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, ok…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[facing the whole office] Listen up, everybody… I have some news. We are screwed. Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton is being shut down.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You knew about this all along, didn’t you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Traitor. You are a traitor.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know. Probably not. This is the worst.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Darryl. Noble Darryl. [sighs]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know, I know. Well, I’ll land on my feet. Don’t worry about me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So, you’ll be okay too. You’re a warrior. You’re smart, capable. You’ll find something else and…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Awesome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is my house. The CFO is taking away my house and giving it to Josh. And Josh is giving the garage to Bob Vance.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, listen up. Some of you may have heard some rumors about the branch closing. But, I am not going to take this lying down. I have a plan and I am going to save our jobs. So just hang in there. [Looks at Dwight] Let’s go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes. This might get ugly. I need backup.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Go to New York, confront the CFO, show him he’s making a mistake… save the branch.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No… way.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. There’s no one else.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, okay. Um…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You sent him cards? You never met him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, this is it. [runs up the stairs of CFO’s house, with Dwight] This is exactly what Michael Moore does, famous documentarian. He goes up to people with a camera and he’s like “Why did you do this? Why did you pollute? You are bad. You’re a bad person.” It’s very dramatic. Although, I can’t say I was a big fan of ‘Bowling for Columbine’, because I thought it was going to be a bowling movie, like ‘Kingpin’. And it wasn’t. It was something else.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I will improvise. I will speak from the heart.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, but these are employees, Sir. These are human beings.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[no longer talking to Dwight as Wallace] Stop… stop it! Just, okay. He’s not going to say any of that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because he’d be intimidated and I, just… let’s start again. Just be more scared of me, okay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t touch me this time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Excuse me, Mr. Wallace?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[takes bottle and cleans off cap with his tie]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The office.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, not until I have some good news for them. Not until I have some good news.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Anything?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What if this doesn’t work? What is the office actually goes under?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[pats Dwight and sighs] All right, favorite moments in Dunder-Mifflin history. Go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That was hilarious. The foam …", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, right. Okay, that’s enough. That’s good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, hmm, all of them. I loved them all. Every single one.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "God, Dwight!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are we still doing here? It’s over. Let’s go home. Get the car.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, this was such a stupid idea! This was so stupid. I am such a stupid idiot. I let everybody down. Everybody hates me. I lost everybody’s jobs. Nobody likes me anymore!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We did it? We did it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right here! Right here! [pounds his chest against Dwight’s]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, baby!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We did it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How did we do it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t understand.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Here… Who’s here?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Karen Filip… [In Italian voice] Ka-ren Fili-pell-li.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "My branch is absorbing the Stamford branch. Or, as I like to put it, my family is doubling in size. That’s all I’m going to say about it because I have a gigantic performance ahead of me. And I have to get into my head and focus. [exhales]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who’s next?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Andy Bernard.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Saint Bernard.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m not firing somebody on the first day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Got the food? Good! Looky-looky-looky. What I want you to do… set it up in the conference room, please. Make it look nice. As if you are trying to impress a much older man who’s way out of your league.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah! Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. Our first arrival. Welcome to Scranton. This is Hannah Smoterich-Barr.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Welcome to our humble abode. Follow me to your desk. Your ball and chain is right over here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know for a lot of these people this is the only family they have. So… As far as I’m concerned, [holds up WORLD’S BEST BOSS mug] this says ‘World’s Best Dad’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah! There he is Tony… what’s your last name?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Gardner! I knew that. There you go. Gift bag… for you. [laughs] Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, they’re just for guests. If there are any left over, you can buy one later.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wh..and coupons… to various hot spots around Scranton. [to Tony] All right! Let me show you to your area, sir. Come on, big guy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Welcome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Welcome, welcome, welcome! [in robot voice] Take me to your leader. Oh wait, I am your leader.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Mmm… dah. I am actually your boss, Michael Scott. Welcome. Wow! You are very exotic looking. Was your dad a G.I. or uh?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah! You must be Andy Bernard. Aloha and welcome!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "A-ha-ha-ho. Very good! Welcome to our little kingdom. Ah, we have a bag of nifty gifties for you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They are nifty! They’re nifty gifties.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know who I really like? Is this guy Andy Bernard. He has got this very likable way about him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Jim] No way. Get him out of here. We don’t want any of this kind in here. Good to see you, man.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[to Martin] How are you? Martin Nash, I presume? This is a little gift bag for you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Free of charge. Follow me, I will show you where all the slaves work. [shakes head] Not… so, your desk is…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[talking to himself] I present the orientation video.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I told you the titles are irrelevant. They just relate to pay scale.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It is not a matter of more or less. Your pay is just different. Okay? All right! Show time, part one.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t care! Dwight! You all report to me! That’s all that matters! The rest of it just work out amongst yourselves, ok?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Work it out amongst your selves!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Please! I have a company to run. Well, you let me run the company?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Will you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Please?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Everybody settled in? Good. Why don’t we all proceed in to the conference room? Or, should I say, the banquet hall. For… drum roll, please [makes drum roll noises], the official Merger Day All-Family Welcome Breakfast. Come on in!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yoko shack.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nope, no. Guests only.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nope. Um… for the guests it is. For you, consider it cow-meat. Strictly taboo.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, then… consider it poisoned beef. No touchy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, it’s not beef… just… sit down, please. [talks to group] Welcome. Help yourself.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Wrong. Toby, this is an orientation not a borientation.[talks to group] Okay. Do not worry. All of your questions are about to be answered. Cell phones and pagers off, please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Let’s face it. Moving to a new job can be very stressful. So I have made an orientation video especially for you newcomers. But it’s not like any orientation video that any of you have ever seen. It’s funny. It’s got a little bit of a zing to it and I hope that it gives you a flavor of what we’re all about here at Dunder Mifflin. And what we’re all about here in Scranton. So let’s just all laugh together and watch “Lazy Scranton”.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sittin’ in my office with a plate of grilled bacon, call my man Dwight just to see what was shakin’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So check out how we live", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They call it Scranton.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The Electric City. Scranton.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The Electric City. Call poison control if you’re bit by a spider.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[in video] I am so scared… when people don’t label their personal food.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You like coal mines and you wanna see ’em, Well, check it out, yo, the Anthracite Museum! Plenty of space in the parking lot,", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on video in background] Spot. Scranton. What? The Electric City. Scranton.What? The Electric City. Scranton. What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, so far, I think it is killin’. I thought it would either be an ‘A’ or an ‘A+’ but I completely forgot that there’s an ‘A++’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh-kay. Sorry to interrupt. I…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What is that? A squid’s eye or…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How did you…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "People hate people that are different from them. That’s natural. But you know what makes people forget their differences? A great show. That is why I created the ‘Integration Celebration’. This is the moment when Scranton and Stamford come together as one. United in applause.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know what a lot of you must be thinking. ‘Wow! What a day! Feels more like a night at a party than a day at work.’ Well, in my opinion, business should feel like a night out. A night… at… the Roxbury. Okay. There’s supposed to be music and it’s… I got it, I got it! I got it. Dwight! Just.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ssshh stupid! Um…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That’s it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, yes! Okay!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, here we go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh! Oh! Oh!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Scuse me! Scuse me!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You me? You me? Me you? You! You! You me! Bow Bow Bow!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You me? You me? Me you me! You! You! You me you! You! Oh my nose so itchy, why’s my nose so itchy!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs hysterically] Okay, I told you these guys had a sense of humor.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay! Okay!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, all right, I’m on a roll.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why are the new people on the table? To show them that we are not above them.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not today. No. Tony! Please join your cohorts on the table if you would.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I understand. We’re all friends.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, well. Just use the momentum of your lower half to hoist yourself up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what? I’ll help. I will…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t be shy! Dwight! Let’s do this!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Come on. We’re doing this thing! Let’s get up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Bend at the knees. Okay, here we go. Here we go. I’m under this… I’m under this hock here. I don’t know what I’m grabbing here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’ve almost got it. Push it! Push it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m right in your crack!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Up and over.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Up and over.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’ve got it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’ve got it, you’ve got it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whoa Whoa Whoa! Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Easy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t understand.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, we’ll squeeze you in.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 39 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You can’t quit! On the first day. That’s [deep voice] heresy, my friend! [regular voice] Okay, let’s talk about this. What happened? I mean, what… Was it Toby? Did he say something? Cause he’s… what?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "My management style? So… didn’t you think ‘Lazy Scranton’ was funny?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Well, don’t bother quitting because you’re fired.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You are fired! I’m sorry, but we don’t have quitters on this team! Just clean out your desk!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t try to apologize to me, man! It’s too late. Just get out! Take your bad vibes with you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Probably the best advice you ever gave me, Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Whoa, Angela! Hold on. Hooters is a restaurant. With over 400 locations worldwide.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. We do have to get along. Can’t we all just get along? Or have we forgotten the words of the Reverend King.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The word merger comes from the word marriage. And that was what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people. Instead, it has become like when my Mom moved in with Jeff. And once again, it becomes my job to fix it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey! Hey, everybody! Something happened! Those guys from Vance Refrigeration, they let the air out of our tires.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah! They punk’d us! They punk’d us good! Come on. Come on!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Man, they got us so bad. We cannot let them get away with this. We have got to pull together as one and steal their refrigerators.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Go home, Toby. Just…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why? I will tell you why. Because they saved the worst for me. They put a hate note under my windshield wiper. Check this out. It’s so hateful. [reads note] “You guys SUCK! You can never pull together as one and revenge us. That is why you SUCK!”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. No, no, no. No. You are falling for it. You’re playing right into their hands. This is just what they want you to do. Don’t, oh…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "THIS IS EGREGIOUS! This is egregious!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "See that? Mission accomplished. Like a bunch of fourth graders. Sometimes, what brings the kids together is hating the lunch lady. Although that’ll change. Because, by the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most. [answers phone] Jell-o!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hi, Jan!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I did. Major personnel crises averted. Compliment accepted.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "But do you realize that that was actually Dwight’s idea? Bad advice from my Number Two.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, I know that. For, I do read the memos.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So after a great deal of thought and introspective-shun, I have decided to make Jim my new Number Two.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Uh… that I have not decided yet.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you, Andy. That’s… very kind. Thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shut it…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shut it! That’s… [whispers to camera] suck up!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And this is, don’t tell me, Martin… Ne… Ne…Nack.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Martin Nash. Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are you talking about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right, just…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Smiles.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good, what’s funny?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, nicknames, yay! Penguin power.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, girls. What’s happening? Startinng to blend? Well, before long, you guys keep hanging out, you guys you are gonna share the same menstrual cycle.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Can’t we all get along? No, we can’t. But here’s the thing:", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 72, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I need somebody to pick a card. [Dwight raises hand] One of the new people, please? Tony? [Tony walks away]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. Good. Thank you. [Andy picks a card] Do not look at your card. Now, I’ve always said that to be a great salesman is to have the ability to connect with people right here [puts hand over heart]. So to be a great salesman is to be a king of hearts. Turn over your card.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "So I think in order for us all to work together well we must come together as a family and then we can all be [starts to fan out the rest of his cards facing the group showing kings of hearts] a king of hearts.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, don’t, don’t be a suck up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What I want all of you [points at Scranton branch] to do is approach one of the new people and tell them the one thing that you like most about them. Who wants to start? Who wants to give it a shot?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay Meredith, let’s give it a shot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clapping] Beautiful. Very good, nice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We heard it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We heard what you said. You didn’t cover it at all.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[points at camera] They’re gonna have… You can’t say that, all right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[clearing throat noise] Idiot. Dwight’s an idiot! Did you catch that or did… did the cough cover it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[cleaing throat] You’re a jerk. Dwight’s a jerk!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohhh, wow. Look at that. How cute.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ohh. May I?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[climbs under desk] Hey, look at me, I’m a baby! I’m one of those babies from “Look Who’s Talking.” What am I thinking? [Laughs] Look at all those staplers! What’s a stapler!? I don’t even know, I’m a baby! Hey, Mom, I’m thirsty! I’m thirsty, Mama! I want some milk. And you know where milk comes from! Breasts.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, Jan, it um… looks like a check, piece of paper of some sort. Receipt. I don’t know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I didn’t hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist. [Jan sighs] … I’m just kidding.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey Jan, speaking of Stamford, Hannah brought in her baby.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hannah?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Kuhhhh… you are such a racist.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Because you think he’s black.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Stop it. Stop it right-stop it right now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish that Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy… who went to prison for… polluting a black guy’s lake.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "In our society, a black man can be arrested for almost anything. He was probably at a sporting event and… saw some people pushing each other, and he intervened.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sssssso, what we need to do… is to forget about this whole Martin in prison thing. People will draw unfair conclusions about Martin and or black people.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Good. All right. [everyone leaves]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Just… try to be cool.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay, are you cool, really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Um… Martin, from Stamford, was, at one time, in prison. [Dwight starts to run] No. Dwight! Be cool! Be cool!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey Martin, how’s it going?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah. Good good. Good. Just a second. Everybody? May I have your attention please? I realize that a lot of you have already heard that Martin here has had some trouble with the law, but I just want to declare publicly that I… trust… him, completely, and that anybody who doesn’t is an ignorant, dumb… person. Okay? As a matter of fact, you show me a white man you trust and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam. Tell me a white person you trust.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "…Danny Glover. [Jim raises hand] Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Who?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. Please. Colin Powell.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Apollo Creed.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What’s he wearing? Nothing special, baseball cap on backwards, baggy pants… he says something ordinary like… ‘yo, thats shizzle.’ Okay. Now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No. That’s not cool. You don’t have to tell them.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughs] That is awesome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, we are running a business, so.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah. Well. That’s not true.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No you would not.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This place is not prison. It’s… way better than prison.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay! Listen up everybody! Um, you guys said that prison was better than this place, and I heard ya, loud and clear, so, I am instituting some changes to make this more like prison. We are going to start with an hour of outdoor time. So let’s go!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why don’t we… pump some iron? Anyone wanna… pump up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s uh… two and a half. I’m not going for bulk, I’m going for tone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah, it’s… freaking cold out here. Anybody wants to stay out, you’ve got about… twenty-seven minutes of rec time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh heyyy. Martiiin. You have TV in the joint?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah. A ten inch black and white?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "These people don’t realize how lucky they are. This office is the American Dream. And they would rather be in the hole.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right everybody, there has been a lot of name calling against our office today. Corporate maligning, slurring, much of it coming from one of you, who claims that prison is better… than… here. And none of can say “Boo” because none of us have ever been to prison. Well, there’s somebody I’d like you to meet. Somebody else who has been to prison, who can tell you what it is really like [puts on bandanna]. I’m prison Mike! You know why they call me prison Mike?!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, beeyotch?! [employees protest] All right, hey, hey, hey, hey, that’s just the way we talk in the clink. Been a lot of fun talk about prison today, but I am here to scare you straight. I AM HERE TO SCARE YOU STRAIIIGHT!! In prison you are somebody’s bitch. Oh, and you. [points to Ryan] You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don’t drop the soap! Don’t drop the soap!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Internet.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And prison. Eh, fifty-fifty, both. Look, prison stinks, is what I’m saying. It’s not like you can go home, and, recharge your batteries, and come back in the morning and, be with your friends, having fun in the office.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I stole. … And I robbed. And I kidnapped… the… president’s son. And held him for ransom.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And I nevah got caught, neither.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Gruel. Sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you, Andy. Tanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The worst thing about prison was the… was the Dementors. They… were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And they’d come down, and they’d suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, not Harry Potter. … There are no movies in prison. This is my point! You guys got it soft, and cushy! This place is freaking awesome! The people are awesome! Your boss is nice! Everyone seems to get along! People are tolerant! People who… have jumped to conclusions can redeem themselves! Nobody is nobody’s bitch. I hope that this scared you. And from me, Prison Mike, to you, I just wanna thank you for listening to me. Letting me be a part of your life today. ‘Cause you got a good life! YOu got a good life. A good life. [turns around, takes bandanna off] So. What do you think? It doesn’t sound so great, does it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. Okay, fine. You guys think prison is so great? All right. Well, here you go. [locks employees in conference room]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No! If you think is prison is so wonderful, then, enjoy prison! They are such babies. I am going to leave them in there until they can appreciate what it’s like to have freedom. And if this doesn’t bother them, then I am out of ideas.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "They were very disrespectful to me, and to the office. And Martin has had a bad influence, to think that I gave him the benefit of the doubt.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Okay. You know what Toby? I am teaching them a lesson, so.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[unlocks door] Okay nutcases, get out of there! Good work. Long day. Really long. Why don’t you guys head home. Early. Time off for good behavior! Heh. Good job. Enjoy your freedoms!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Martin went from being a new guy from Stamford… to a convict, to… my friend. Back to a convict. Then to… a kind of a nuisance, actually, to be completely honest. And finally, to… a quitter. And I will not miss him. And that is not because he is black.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[Riding a bicycle down the hallway and singing] Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa la la la la la la la la. [Struggling to stay on] ‘Tis the … ack. [expletive] Hey! [to Pam] I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candied Pams. And perhaps, some Pam-chops, with mint…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m looking for the toy drive box.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK… Well, I need to put this bike in there. I hope it’ll fit, with all these little knickknacks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Umm… I don’t know? Average kind?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, that is probably from the test drive.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, thanks. [Michael and Andy do a fist bump and explosion.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes? [Pam holds up a bag] Oh Pam, that is so sweet. You didn’t have to do that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK. Did everybody get one of these?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Terrific. Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is going to be the best Christmas ever. My girlfriend Carol is coming to our party tonight, and I have a little surprise for her. [singing] I’ve got two tickets to paradise! Pack your bags, we’re leaving the day-after-tomorrow! Um, taking her to Sandals, Jamaica, all-inclusive. All-inclusive. You know what that means? Right? Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "There she is. A Christmas Carol. Hello [kisses Carol] You’re about five hours early to the party. You’re such a blonde. [laughs]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, everybody. I don’t know who you haven’t met yet, but I think this is one of them. This is my girlfriend – Carol. This is just the front of her. Show ’em, show ’em the other side.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Turn around, turn around. Come on. [making a body turning gesture]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, you get outta here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Not as much as I need a moment alone with you. [puts finger on her back and reaches for her butt] Berp.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That is my Christmas card. It’s a picture of you and me and your kids on a ski trip, having a blast. Ski-sons Greetings.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes, but what you didn’t realize at the time was that I was with you in a sense. I was in your heart…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And next to your kids. What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t understand?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no no no Ok, OK, You know what, you’re not thinking straight. You know what you need? You need to think this through in [making drum noise] Jamaica’s largest fresh water pool.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I got us tickets to Sandals, Jamaica, We leave day after tomorrow. [Carol shakes head in disappointment]. You better find the skimpiest bikini there is.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And it’s all inclusive.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, Carol. You walk out that door and it is over.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’d like everybody’s attention. Christmas is canceled.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Keep it up Stanley and you will lose New Year’s.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Jim, take New Year’s away from Stanley.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Carol and I split up. Amicably. And I just don’t think it would be appropriate to celebrate under the circumstances.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Fine! [everybody stops talking] Have your party. Just no guests.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Well, you know what Phyllis? All of your guests would have probably canceled at the last minute anyway, leaving your life a stupid rotten mess.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, oh, oh, oh, it hurts.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It hurts my heart. It hurts my stomach. It hurts my arms.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[moves a little] Thanks. How did you push away the bad thoughts?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Like maybe, the real reason they left was because there were things they wanted you to do in bed, that were, foreign, and scary?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And not that you didn’t want to try them. Some wine may have helped. Do you know what I’m referring to?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Take it from Toby.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, would you like to go to Sandals, Jamaica with me?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s all… [Pam walks away.] OK.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What are you doing? [“Goodbye My Lover” by James Blunt plays]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Carol?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t have to buy it. I just want to taste it. I just… I just want a little taste of it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[singing] Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. [hits repeat again]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "This is an old adage, but they say when you find true love, you know within the first 24 hours. With Carol, I knew within the first 24 minutes of the second day I met her.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "All right. Nothing here to distract myself with anyway.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hooters?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ah, I need my entourage [both exit Michael’s office] Jim. Dwight. Ryan. C’mon, we’re going to Asian Hooters.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Why not?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ok, feel better.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "C’mon Jim, let’s go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho and you told her she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then … and then suddenly she’s not yo’ ho no mo’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Dwight, just, just leave them alone please. They’re on a date. They look very happy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Carol used to drink lattes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "She would get this little foam mustache…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "And I used to say “Hey, got latte?” And she’d say, that’s not funny.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "She totally got me. She understood that we didn’t have to laugh to enjoy —", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m already starting to forget what color eyes she had. I can’t, OK, I’m gonna call her. I am gonna call and find out…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I’m just gonna call her.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nothing he’s doing is cheering me up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, sure you would. Look at you, I bet you break up with a guy every hour. [Cindy laughs and walks away]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You’re right. That’s good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t know. No one can hear me. You know what? Start the party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Ahh, damn this chicken is good. My compliments to the chef. [points to chef] Which is you! Right? Hahahaha. Awesome! I need some meat. I want some steak. [leans over to neighboring man’s plate] I see steak.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Excuse me [tries to take away meat with chopsticks] Ah, un guard. [Fights with chopsticks and laughs] Family style.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I don’t think… I love it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[laughing] I don’t know what he’s doing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You know what we should do?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We should invite them to the Christmas party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, you are such mench my friend. [They stand up and do fist bump and explosion]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "OK, where is everybody? I would like them to meet my new girlfriend. [Guys walk in with two different waitresses from Benihana’s]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "The least I could do was give some poor sick kid a bike.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Nah, you rock. Tell you what, if you want it, it’s yours.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh. [She whispers in his ear. Michael starts to laugh] That’s what she said.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hello? I would like everybody to meet my new girlfriend.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[whispers] The giant baby. Wow, I am so sorry, I had no idea this party would be so lame.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, party in the break room! Let’s go, let’s go! Thank God! Let’s go to the break room.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Shhh… Shut it! C’mon! Party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "We’re going to …", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I just think there are two, two specific kinds of people in the world. People who own houses and people who own condos. [turns to reach for pretzel while Second Cindy turns other direction] And… my question to you [points and pulls away other waitress] is do you agree?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Do you agree about what? [laughs] Wow. You’re lucky you’re so darn cute.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "What’re you talking about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "When you know, you just know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Check her out. My little gal over there. Babe-alectable.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "It’s… it’s one of those two. [points at both]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah… well, it’s been hard, they’re wearing the exact same uniform. And I’ve been drinking. And you know how all waitresses look alike.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I honestly don’t see what the big deal is. Stevie Wonder is married. Are you going to tell me that Stevie Wonder doesn’t love his wife just because he’s not sure what she looks like?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey. Where’s my girl? Is she in the fridge? Where is she hiding? I don’t know where she is. ‘Cause I’m drunk, I can’t even find her.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Haha, I do! I just haven’t hugged you in awhile [marks Cindy’s arm with a black marker]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, good. That felt good. Let’s go. Party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Hey, hey, you. How are ya?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no. Hey, you should stay because we are having fun and…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Where do you wanna go?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I… you know what? I, OK, listen. I like you. I really like you. So much in fact, that I would like you to accompany me on a trip to Sandals, Jamaica.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "You want help? OK… Merry Christmas.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "That waitress was the one.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "How can you be sure?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Don’t make fun… You’re making fun of me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I guess, I didn’t know her very well. I marked her arm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I, I put a mark on her arm. [Both are laughing] So I could tell them apart. I don’t… I know, I know. I can’t believe I gave her my bike!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, why do I feel like crap?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I had rebound? Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "I totally rebounded. Someone else shoots and I take the ball and I score. Well, I guess I didn’t score and I’m not sure who’s actually shooting, but, whatever. Doesn’t matter. It’s all good. Or as my ex might say. Domo arigato, Mr. Scott-o.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on phone] Yes, I just wanted to see if, uh you would like to come to Jamaica with me. There’s this resort called Sandals. Really? OK. All right. I promise you won’t be disappointed. Umm, It’s all-inclusive…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "William Randolph Shakespeare once wrote in one of his plays, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Love doth be poison.” Brilliant. And a lot of people don’t give Shakespeare enough credit. They think it was somebody else. A-holes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "No, no, no, no. You know what, I better hold off. I wanna make sure I don’t dial Carol before I get drunk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 82, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Yeah. You know what? I am. I’m gonna call her. That’s a good idea.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 82, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "[on [phone] No, I don’t think I’m asking too much. I think it’s only fair that you tell me exactly what I did wrong. Okay. Uh huh. Well that… yeah. Uh huh. All right. Well, could you tell me something that I did right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 83, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Oh, honey, here’s Stanley.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 88, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "He is also in an interracial relationship, so, you know, if you have any problems, you can always call him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 88, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael", + "text": "Sounds good. Okay, let’s go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 88, + "quote": 5 + } + ], + "jim": [ + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, I told you. I couldn’t close it. So…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Actually, you called me in here, but yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "My job is to speak to clients on the phone about… uh, quantities and type of copier paper. You know, whether we can supply it to them. Whether they can pay for it. And… I’m boring myself just talking about this.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Whassup! I still love that after seven years.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right. Take care.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, stop. That is ridiculous.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sure. Mr. Davis, let me call you right back. Yeah, something just came up. Two minutes. Thank you very much. Dwight, what are you doing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What are you doing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s not on your desk.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Why not?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[crosses fingers] We’ll see. [Dwight begins smashing pencils with his phone] This is why the whole downsizing thing just doesn’t bother me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "If I left, what would I do with all this useless information in my head? You know? Tonnage price of manila folders? Um, Pam’s favorite flavor of yogurt, which is mixed berry.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How do you know it was me?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK. Dwight, I’m sorry, because I have always been your biggest flan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Do you like going out at the end of the week for a drink?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s why we’re all going out. So we can have an end-of-the-week-drink.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Tonight, hopefully.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What’s going on?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what? You should come with us. Because you know we’re all going out and it could be a good chance for you to see what people are like outside the office. I think it could be fun.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… What’s in the bag?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, definitely. All right, dude. Awesome. Will do.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Do I think I’ll be invited to the wedding? [scratches head]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How are things?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh no, I just decided not to. How’s your headache?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good. Good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s great", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Am I walking out?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes, I… Do you want to…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Great. Let me just…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Car horn honking] Oh, Roy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, definitely. You too. Enjoy it. [looks at camera] You know what, just come here.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "My name is Jim Halpert and I am a sales rep, which is a very important job. Um, without me dozens literally dozens of small businesses would go paperless. They would have to write on their hands, or bed sheets, or who knows you know. Total chaos, total chaos. I mean or they could get their paper somewhere else. Staples maybe. I don’t know.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s the thing. It’s very sturdy paper and on the back it says, “100% post-consumer content.” What? Hello? Uh-huh. Wait. What? I’m sorry, Mr. Decker. I think I’m losing you. [Shedder whirring] Hello? Hello? Yeah. Hold on one second. I don’t know. Hold on one second.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Do you really have to do that right now?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Mr. Decker, I’m sorry about that. What were you… Can you hold on one second? Yeah, just one second. Thanks. [Power off, silence] Hello? That’s it. Perfect. So what I was saying… [Dialing tone] Hello? Thanks, Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That is not the expression.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "This is my biggest sale of the year. They love me over there for some reason. I’m not really sure why but I make one call over there every year, just to renew their account, and that one call ends up being 25% of my commission for the whole year, so I buy a mini bottle of champagne, celebrate a little. And this year I’m pushing recycled paper on them for one percent more. I know. I’m getting cocky. Right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Solitaire?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Six on seven.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So then, why didn’t you do it?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Who doesn’t love that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, uh, Mr. Decker, please.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what? I’m actually going to have to call you back. Thank you. Sorry about that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, hi. Is Mr. Decker around? Oh, well, could you just have him call me after lunch? Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What are you watching?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No way. I think she likes this stuff.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, you know, she’s engaged, but…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, yeah. She’s hot.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[on the phone] Mr. Decker, we didn’t lose your sale today, did we? Excellent. OK. Let me just get your… what’s that? No, we didn’t close last time. I just need your… Oh. W-What code were you given? Oh, OK. That’s actually another salesman here. I can redo it if you want to do that. Oh, he gave you a discount? No, I don’t blame you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Pam is asleep, resting her head on Jim’s shoulder] Um… Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "We can go.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s fine.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh… Not a bad day.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Freecell.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, I mean.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, what’s going on here?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ah, good. Good luck. Doing good. [goes to the index cards and writes another race down]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes, yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How embarrassing is it? That’s not fair. Here…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Try this. [takes Dwight’s ‘Asian’ race and switches it with the one he wrote]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Go get ’em.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, why did she slap Martin Luther King?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I think she wasn’t wearing a card.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Last night on Trading Spouses, there’s… have you seen it?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Interesting, what’s that like?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. But then who would watch my TV? That is…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Gosh.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That is a great offer. Thank you. I really think I should be concentrating on sales.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. I just don’t think this is the kind of task, that I… am going to do. You know who would be great for this?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Any time Michael asks me to do anything, I just tell him that Dwight should do it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company then this would be my career. And uh, well, if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It says “workspace”.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "If it’s the same thing, then why did you write “workspace”?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You are not my superior.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I thought it was a workspace?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You cut more than you had to, didn’t you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, why did you do that? You work here, don’t you want good insurance?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK, well, if you’ve never been sick, then you don’t have any antibodies.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK, you know what Dwight? We can’t write our diseases down for you because that’s confidential.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Workspace.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wait. What are you writing? Don’t write Ebola or mad cow disease. Right? ‘Cause I’m suffering from both.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I thought you said you were inventing diseases? That’s spontaneous dental hydroplosion.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What are you talking about?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK, whoa. ‘Cause that is a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they’re fake?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Absolutely not.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No I didn’t.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Killer nanorobots?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sounds tough.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Do you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Mmm hmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good luck. [closes door and locks it]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[answering phone] Jim Halpert.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Who is this?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, you can’t fire me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK, can you hold on? I’m getting the, ah, beep. [presses button on phone]] Jim Halpert.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey Pam! How are you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m doing OK. Getting excited for the weekend though. What are you up to?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, not at all.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I have nothing to do.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh yeah?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "The mall?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, interesting, what kind of shoes?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, here’s uh, this is very simple. “Dwight’s Workspace,” nice.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, this one interesting the power comes from the font in this one. “Schrute Space,” very medieval, very England. Um, this one’s forceful, this one’s very Dwight. “Quiet! Dwight Schrute Working,” it’s good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I really heard him on that. This one’s interesting I’m not really sure what he meant by this. Um, “Dwight Schrute Privates.” Tough to say.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, you know what, Dwight. What if you got a really serious disease like Ebola.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, it could happen. Have you ever seen the movie Outbreak?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay. Have you ever seen the movie Sixth Sense? Maybe you are already dead.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight, I uh, I have something to confess.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You’re a jackass.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. Was that the hard way?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, then why are you wasting everybody else’s time interrogating them?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wait, slow down.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "One second ’cause that sounds really good. Is jackass one word or two? [Dwight sighs] One, right? ‘Cause, ’cause of the show, it’s one.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Absolutely, I do.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "At that moment, I was so happy. I mean, everything Dwight does annoys me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "To what?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And I spend hours thinking of ways to get back at him, but only in ways that could get me arrested. And then here he comes and he says “No, Jim, here’s a way.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I think it has something to do with Survivor, but I’m not sure.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, underground.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What? No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What? Oh no no no. Dwight, no. I’m using her, for the alliance. Who knows the most information about this office? Pam.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well I’m trying to. Do you see what I’m doing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "But listen, I’m going to have to talk to her a lot. All right? And there may be chatting, and giggling. And you gotta just pretend to ignore it. Wipe it away.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, what do you think that’s about?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m on it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You are not going to believe this.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, tensions were high in the kitchen.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey Kev, that looks good. What is it? Turkey?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, Italian. Nice. Wow! You got the works there. Red onion, provolone…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Toby and Kevin, they’re trying to get Angela kicked off.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, I don’t know, if Kevin’s in accounting, and Toby’s in Human Resources and they’re talking…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I love their sandwiches too.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Their bread is very good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK, listen, we need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Because we’re strong, Dwight. Because we’re strong.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sure, what’s up?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh no?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, will not, I’m not going to tell anybody. This is between you and me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That was beautiful. All her idea too. Awesome. She is so great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK, here’s the deal. All right? Pam says that one of the alliances is meeting in the warehouse during Meredith’s birthday.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I know, but it’s gonna be a little tough because there’s no good place to hide there.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What? What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[gives Dwight a high five] Great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wait, this isn’t gonna work. The lid’s open.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I can’t do that. You won’t be able to breathe.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you, thank you. OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So do you want me to stay here and, you know, stand next to the box?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Right… That’s good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pam, he’s in a box. He’s downstairs, in a box, on the floor, near the shelves. I’m serious. Go down there and work your magic.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Speaking of which, I meant to tell you. Very impressive, the uh, donation you gave to Oscar’s charity. What was it? 25 bucks?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, well, three dollars a mile. It’s gonna end up being like 50 bucks. So… God, I can’t even calculate what you’re gonna have to give.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK, OK. I have something that totally tops the box.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK. I have just convinced Dwight that he needs to go to Stamford and… [Pam starts laughing]… spy on our other branch. No no no.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "But before he does so, I told him that he should dye his hair to go undercover.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "If we can get him to drive to Connecticut… and put peroxide in his hair…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, no, dude, no.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, dude, no, I was just, listen! Whoa.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "God, I don’t even, I don’t even know how to explain this. Uh, um… Dwight, uh, asked me to be in an alliance. And then um… um… we were… we’ve just been messing with him. Uh, because of the whole alliance thing. Um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s stupid. It’s, it’s just office pranks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No thanks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No one wants to be you, Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Is your password Frodo?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Did you just change it to Gollum?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[looks in the refrigerator] Hey Dwight, my tuna sandwich isn’t in the refrigerator. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It was not rotting.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Stop. Dwight, stop.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight, you wrote that memo. Okay, it’s not an official memo.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight, it’s not a factory at all. Do you have to do what you are doing? [Dwight is tapping each of the bobble heads on his desk and making them bobble]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Because we’re strong, Dwight. Because we’re strong. God, it’s freezing, I gotta go in. You stay though for like five minutes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You don’t want to arouse suspicion.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good. I like it. You know what. Pretend to smoke. [Dwight pretends to smoke]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, by the way. Have you heard Dwight say the word immunity, yet? Because if I can get Dwight to say the word immunity, it might be the greatest day of my life.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "God, this is so sad. This is the smallest amount of power I’ve ever seen go to someone’s head. Phyllis, can you believe this?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pam gets a little down. Her toaster oven broke. Um, which she got at her engagement shower. Um, for a wedding that still has yet to be set… and that was three years ago.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s him.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, I heard it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh my God.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 43 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’ll do it. Wear a little flouncey skirt if you want, and…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Basketball? It was kind of my thing in high school. And I’m, yeah, I’m looking forward to playing. You know, I think I’m gonna impress a few people in here.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You coming down?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You gonna wish me luck?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Whoa.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Is that trash talk from Pam?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, I’m going to the outlet mall on Saturday, so if you wanna save big on brand names and Roy has to work, which he will, because I’m also competitive, you should feel free to come along.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I think I’ll see you at the mall. Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Have a good game man.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really? I thought I’d take Roy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "My bad.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what? Let me take Roy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Take it easy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[to Pam] …so I talked to the scout, it looks good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I didn’t sign anything.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m trying, yup.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Great, thanks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Forget it. It’s just a dry erase board.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, that’s insanely complicated and the first thing I’m going to do is erase it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, then keep it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Michael steals the ball] Yeah, Michael. Go Michael. [makes shot]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Cute, sure, yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "She’s not really my type.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hmmm, I don’t think so. Nope.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[glances at Pam] Moms, primarily. Yep. Soccer moms. Single moms. NASCAR moms. Any type of moms, really.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Too late, Kev.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pam and I are good buddies. I’m sort of Pam’s go-to guy for her problems. You know with stuff like work, or uh, her fiance Roy. Or uh… Nope, those are pretty much her only two problems.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "She’d be perfect for you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, what? You’re Assistant Regional Manager.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, you know what Dwight? He’s your work boss, okay? He is not your relationship boss.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Plus you have so much more to talk to this girl about, You’re both um, salesmen. I mean that’s something right there.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s all gold.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright. Here’s the thing okay, you just keep talking to her. If you hit a stall you have a perfect fall back.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You buy a purse.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight, that’s not necessarily true. Do you read GQ?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, I do. There like mini briefcases, alright? Lots of guys have them.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes. Listen, you are spending way too much time talking to me, when you could be talking to her.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. You don’t need the bathroom. You’ve got it. Go.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, shhhh stop… stop whatever you’re doing because this is going to be good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[mimicing Dwight in high-falsetto voice] Hi my name’s Dwight Schrute and I would like to buy a purse from you. Good lord, look at these purses! This is something special. Oh my God is this Salvatore Di-chini-asta?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes, well I want to stress test it. You know, in case anything happens.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh! That was really. [Dwight hits purse against table] This is necessary to do to really give it a good workout. This is the ooooh… This is the prettiest one of all.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m going to be the prettiest girl in the ball. Oh, how much?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[whispering] Here he comes, shhh…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[gives Dwight a thumbs-up – mouths the word] Good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "He did pick a good one.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "A futon?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "He’s a grown man", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s sad. Or it’s innovative. Well, you know the futon is a bed and couch all rolled into one. [Jim sees Roy and trails off]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m Jim, by the way.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hi Katy, nice to meet you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I do. That’s what I’m best known for. Sitting out there. Alright, let’s talk about purses.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Katy but you know what, don’t try to sell me one. Okay, seriously ’cause I’m just here to learn.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, so I know about most of these, but you know you can…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What’s up?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you for choosing me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ah, well I think I’m gonna see Katy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, man I don’t know. Uh, dinner, drinks, movie, matching tattoos.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And stuff… yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What are you doing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s cool.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That is cool. Well, I’ll see you Monday though, right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Goodnight, Michael.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know. Grab a drink, I think?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I got this. [taking Katy’s bag from Michael]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I got it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Have a good night.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, yeah. You sold a lot, so it’s lighter.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright now, I’m gonna warn you. Don’t freak out, okay?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "This is a really nice car. In case you haven’t noticed, this is a Corolla. Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You’re not going to freak out?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, really?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, Pam I’m not gonna lie to you, he’s chances are none. Um, he’s 41 years old, he is losing his hair and his cell phone ring is “Mambo #5.” So…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know though. I mean, you know that was a hit.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, was it 10? Yeah, I have it on a mix tape from junior high.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Went well?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what, just in case she’s looking you should put some stuff in it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Anything. [Dwight begins to fill his new purse] Good. Yup.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Post-it Notes. Wow, that purse holds a lot.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, oh, I know. Looks great. [Dwight throws the purse over his right shoulder and gets back to work]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Dwight. I need your stapler.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, great thanks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, you ready for the… the Dundies?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, I can’t because I keep them hidden. I don’t want to look at them and get cocky.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, it’s hilarious, you’re right. I just think, um, “world’s longest engagement”, um, we’re all expecting it, you know?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well I think if you use the same jokes it just comes across as lazy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, gotta eat somewhere.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey! How are ya? I thought you left?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Pam starts sipping an empty glass] I think those might be empty.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Second drink?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[starts clapping] Yeah, alright Kev.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes, I have not gotten one either. So, keep going.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What a great year for the Dundies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "We got to see Ping. [Pam nods] And we learned of Michael’s true feelings for Ryan. [Pam nods] Which was touching. And, we heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs. [Pam nods] Which for me, has ruined them for life. [looks at Pam, who is staring at him, nodding]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know, what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh my God! You are so drunk!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Did you get that? Please tell me you got that. This is all going to be on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "He’s a volunteer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight come on, come-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Whoa.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Whoa.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Whoa, careful, careful.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No you don’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, here she is. Careful, careful, whoa. Alright, easy. Almost there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Shoot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Not really a question. [starts to laugh] Okay, let’s get you home, you’re drunk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Goodnight, have a good night. Thank you Angela.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Mmm-hmmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "He plays guitar, he likes naval history. He’s a bowler.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, you seem to have this under control.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "The weird part about this whole deal this that Michael truly believes that these awards are inspiring and motivational. I mean, he puts more effort and time and commitment into the Dundies than anything else he does all year. Which is probably why this branch will be downsized.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What award would you like to give Dwight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight, this is crazy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "The other volunteers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… I don’t think so.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh! There it is!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… ‘Fifty signs your priest might be Michael Jackson.’", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Topical.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, um… what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? [points at self] This guy!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Except pass that breathalyzer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m really excited to meet your Mom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good. Cause I have a lot of questions.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. As a child, did Pam show any traits that would hint towards her future career as a receptionist?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m in an office relationship. It’s special. Um… she’s nice. She’s shy. She’s actually here. You want to meet her? Hold on one second. Oh, my God! Put on a shirt! Put on a… . I told you that you’d be on camera. I’m sorry, she’s European. No, I told you that you’d be on camera. Stop it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, thanks. I’m good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Does that include ‘That’s What She Said’?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow! That is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What can I say, Dwight, I live a very dangerous life.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes, it is harassment and I’m going to be suing the winking face. I’ve hired the angry face as my lawyer and you will be hearing from him pretty soon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay. [IM chiming] [laughing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[looks bored. Taps finger on desk. Head falls to desk]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Mm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No way. Let’s do this [crumples post it and throws into mug. Misses.] Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Perfect. [misses]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Oscar, on these new expense reports, do we really have to go back to last quarter?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[points at paper on desk] What does 2005 season mean?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wait a minute, what is this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh my God! Wait, this goes back two years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[flicks football onto Kevin’s desk] OH!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes! So close. I really love the paper triangle flicking and hitting things game. Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Why?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, do you guys have any other games?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[bounces ball off wall with Toby] So that’s what this sound is all day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Stanley. Just played Dunder Ball with Toby. What about you, you got any games?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Fair enough.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[sings Olympic theme song] This scented candle …andle …andle. Which I found in the men’s bathroom …room …room. Represents the eternal burning of competition. Or something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes it does. Yes it does my friend. Ok, we will be competing for gold, silver and bronze yogurt lids.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Let the games begin. [sings Olympic theme]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You have what is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies. And I’m blanking on the name, can you help me out Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hum.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Fair enough, but I like Flonkerton.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, who will be challenging Kevin in Flonkerton? Anyone?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes! Phyllis! [claps] Phyllis, just put your foot right through here [lifts strap on box of paper]. Right through the flonk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Here we go. Here we go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dig deep, dig deep! OHHHhhh! It’s Phyllis!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Phyllis by a nose. Gold medal in Flernenton.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you, delegate from Iceland.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow! Ok. No one else should even try! Gold medals! Give him medals. Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Very nicely done. I think that’s H-O-R for Stanley, and H-O for Phyllis.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh my god. Phyllis, coming alive. I like it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Who had someone from Vance Refrigeration?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ryan Howard. Ryan! [claps] Gold medal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What? [looks in box] Oh my god. Where did you have time to make that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright Pam, alright [gives her hi-five]. Nice work!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Final lap. Final lap. Time to beat is 1:15.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Time to beat is one minute, 15 seconds. Here they come. [Michael and Dwight enter] Guys?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nothing. Guys? Timer’s still going? Er?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[hands expense report to Oscar] Here you go. All done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, I filled out the expense reports. That took about five minutes and then I closed two sales at lunch time. So, about as productive as any other day. If not more so.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Mmm. Hey, can you ignore those and do something for me instead?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, today. 5 o’clock. Closing Ceremonies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Notify the athletes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nothing. I just wanted to congratulate you on your condo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, would you mind coming out here for a second? I just have something for you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "These are the Closing Ceremonies. Step up. You’re on the top one. [Michael stands on podium] Congratulations to Michael, because he closed on his condo. So, gold medal. [everyone claps]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And for Dwight Schrute, the silver medal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… ‘Cause your condo’s in America.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Those are the doves.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, Pam? Can I see you in here for a second? It’s important, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I found Dwight’s wallet in the parking lot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know what the best play is. Do we tear everything up, or do we buy a horse on the Internet? I mean, I don’t know what to do. What do you think?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What do you call it? Schruteball?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Did you just come up with that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That is good. That’s it. That’s what it is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. [cup tinkles]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, Somebody went in. That was a team effort, Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, okay. Oh, do… that’s what the tape is for. I didn’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Phyllis, Do you have any games that you play in the office?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, like stapler tennis or something like that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Jim Halpert. What? How did you get this number? Stalker.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So we’re still on for lunch? You’re meeting me here? Okay. Great. Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, you know what? I am going to be, uh, setting the agenda here. Okay? Can everybody gather up, please? Important announcement. Very important announcement. I think this is a perfect opportunity for all of us to participate in some really intense, psychologically revealing conversations. So we’re going to be playing Desert Island, umm, Who Would You Do?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And, um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Would You Rather. Would You Rather is our third game.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, so… three books on a desert island? Angela.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nice. Third book?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay. Phyllis.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay. Thought people read more books.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "DVDs! Five movies. What would you bring to the island? Yes! Meredith?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. Bridges of Madison County, Legally Blond, these movies are just… .", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wait, wait, wait. Pam. No. Do you understand? The… the game is Desert Island Movies, not guilty pleasure movies. Desert Island Movies are the movies you’re going to watch for the rest of your life! Forever! Unforgivable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Unforgivable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pam? Get us back into it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Five movies. Go ahead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ooh, definitely in my top five.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay that’s five.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pam, play by the rules.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Play by the rules. Dwight. All time favorite movie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right. Let’s move on. Let’s move on to the main event. Who Would You Do?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, not neccessari…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… okay. Ah, you know what? Maybe I’ll… I’ll finish explaining the rules. Let’s… let me explain it first, and then…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, so we’ll get right… You know what? I’ll be right back. Stanley, you’re taking over for me, buddy. I’ll be right back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight. Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Come on Dwight! Use words.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Who goes to business school?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "He does?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what you should do? You should quit. And then, that would stick it to both of them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. You’re right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright buddy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… Kevin, hands down. Yeah. He’s really got that teddy bear thing going on, and afterwards, we could just watch bowling.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[on the phone] Hey, where are you? Oh good. Yeah. We’re just here, we’re playing Desert Island. It’s when you pick your five favorite DVDs…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good, how are you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good to see you, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, I am too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What answers?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh! Right! Right, right, right, come-ah on, on, on. [to everyone] Ladies and gentlemen! Gather around! We have one more participant. Come on, be polite. Be polite. [to Katy] Desert Island. Five movies. Go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, I think the game’s over… People are like leaving. There was a bigger crowd last time. Do you just want to go to lunch?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Seventy and clear, that’s nice. Where’s that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, the best.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, we had outside classes all the time and we never did anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Actually if I had fewer outside classes, I probably wouldn’t be stuck here at a paper company.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, DVDs. Five movies. What would you bring to the island? Toby, go ahead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Those are like my favorite movies. I didn’t really think you could win Desert Island, but I think you just did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Toby and I used to sit together until Michael moved us because he thought we talked too much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Kevin, do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Groundhog Day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, guys, guys, guys. That almost sounded like business, and we are trying to focus here today, okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And then you go to school for three years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. And just out of curiosity, how much is it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "A semester?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, yeah, it sounds like it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m a three hole punch version of Jim. ‘Cause you can have me either way. Plain White Jim, or Three-hole Punch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, okay…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, okay. Um, how ’bout, the ultimate team player? [Pam laughs and types]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight is… special. But, I don’t believe that his talents are being used in this office. So Pam and I have put his resume on Monster.com, Google, Craig’s List. We’re really interested most in jobs that take Dwight out of state. Um, preferably Alaska… or India.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um. He sticks to his guns.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… Whoa. [picks up ringing phone][in managerial voice] Michael Scott here. Yes, I am regional manager of this orifice. Mmm hmm. Dwight Schrute is amazing. Yeah. No, he is actually the single greatest employee of his generation. Mm hmm. You know what? I’m gonna tell you what. You hire Dwight K. Schrute, and if he does not meet, nay, exceed every one of your wildest expectations, well then, you can hold me, Michael Gary Scott, personally and financially responsible. Okay. Okay. Okay-kay-kay-kay-kay. Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… it’s in Maryland.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Maybe… maybe I will. [starts walking away]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Honestly, I don’t think Michael has the slightest clue of who he’s gonna fire. I think he keeps hoping that someone’s going to volunteer. Uh, or be run over by a bus before the deadline. But in the end, really, what’s going to happen is it’s gonna be the first person to give him a dirty look in the hall. And therein lies the true essence of his charisma.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael, I really didn’t mean to…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m sorry?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, you want me to be you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, are you firing Creed?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "We should switch seats in order to…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright. [they stand up] Excuse me.[They sit down] I’m really sorry, but I have to let you go. And it’s purely budgetary. It’s not personal…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s an overreaction.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Is this you? Are you being you, or is this Creed? Are you…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, hold that thought. Hold that thought.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[picks up the phone] Michael Scott here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Toby? Mm hmm. [looks back to Michael] I really have to take this Creed, so it was really worth…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It wasn’t me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[motions for her to follow him] Come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s just a figure of speech, you know? Blow your brains out? Come on. All it really means is that we’re friends. Who else is she gonna talk to if I’m gone, right? I mean, if she left, I wouldn’t blow my brains out. Of course, I would take that job in Maryland. Because it’s double the pay, and soft shell crab just happens to be my favorite food.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What’s up, Hef?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That is weird.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, well, you’re the one who lost the desk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I think you should retrace your steps.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Colder… warmer… little warmer… there you go, ooh, warmer… warmer… warmer… warmer… warmer … cold, cold, cold, back up… ooh, ooh, warmer, hot, red hot, hot, very hot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[On the phone with Dwight] Hi, Dwight, um, what sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 lb white model.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, yeah, ream.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, thank you, gotta get back to work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[On the phone] Right, oh let me just check the pricing list. Hold on one second…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Umm…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what, let me give you a call right back. I’m going to uh, find it and then I’ll call you back, thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Was that your mom?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, I thought it was your mom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Assistant to the Sensei, that’s pretty cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, Larissa Halpert.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "117 Mount Bergin St.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You making this up as you go along, aren’t you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, at least I don’t have cavities.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Dwight. As Sempai, do you think there is ever going to be a day where humans and robots can peacefully co-exist?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No I’m not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, that’s not advice. What advice sounds like is this:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, Roy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok. Michael? Could you beat up Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, Dwight’s a purple belt, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, how did you know they were black belts?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sounds tough. When you’re a Jet, [starts snapping] you’re a Jet all the way, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I can’t. I just got a manicure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Just have Dwight punch you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know a ton of fourteen year old girls?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Are you ok? Are you sure you are alright?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, he has to be stopped. Please, please, please, please, just ask Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, I’ll buy you a bag of chips.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Obviously.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, Kitchen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, well, we are all getting excited to see this fight. The Albany branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight. Fight… Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, I’m coming, fight…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Reading Pam’s palm, while she has on extremely padded gloves] Wow, that is really interesting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Your love line- I’m just kidding. I can’t see anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Jim moves his head closer and Pam taps him gently in the face] Oh, ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Gently taps Pam on the forehead] Tied up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What, what are you going to do? Bring it, Beesley. Bring it. Oh yeah, good move. Not such an ultimate fighter now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Later, Kev. [Puts French Onion Potato Chips on Pam’s desk] Have a good weekend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What about Oscar? Could you beat Oscar?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know. He looks pretty scrappy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "True. Meredith.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay. Roy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay. Michael. Could you beat up Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. They’re in the conference room.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So this possible client they’re talking about, actually a big deal. It’s Lackawanna County. Our whole county. And if we get this, they may not have to downsize our branch. And I could work here for years. And years. [groan] Years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "We are doing worst first dates.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wait, when was this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I always knew Pam has refused to go to sports games with Roy, but I never knew why. Interesting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Is this real? [Pam dumps Michael’s screenplay on Jim’s desk]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Agent Michael Scarn.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How long is this? [flips through pages] Oh, Pam. Good work! Oop, wait, stop. Drawings.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, those are drawings. In case the writing didn’t really put a picture in your head. And there he is, in the flesh, Agent Michael Scarn. Now we know what he looks like.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Do we all have our copy of “Threat Level: Midnight”, by Michael Scott?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright, let’s get this started. I’m gonna be reading the action descriptions, and Phyllis, I would like you to play Catherine Zeta Jones.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh yeah-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Why not, Dwight? This is a movie. I mean, this is for all of America to enjoy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Do you want to play-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "The lead role of Agent Michael Scarn?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[reading the screenplay] Inside the FBI, Agent Michael Scarn sits with his feet up on his desk. Catherine Zeta Jones enters.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael Scarn takes out a nine-millimeter gun and shoots the-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "A man sitting several seats down, who has a gold face, turns to Michael Scarn. [out of character] Uh… Ooh, Oscar, you wanna play Goldenface?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, some of us wanna keep reading, so-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s actually a good idea. We’ll all take a brief intermission. [To Pam] Hey, are you hungry?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I had plans to meet a friend tonight. Which I had to cancel. But this is cool, too. I’m not a complainer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Pam lights a candle] Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nice. That’s excellent, because bugs love my famous grilled cheese sandwich.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, I guess I’ll see you in [looks at watch] ten hours.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Travel. I’ve been looking forward to it. It’s gonna be… really nice. Gonna find myself.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. [Pam puts her hand out for an earbud] Definitely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Jan didn’t come back for her car last night.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Could it be that Agent Michael Scarn has finally found his Catherine Zeta?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Some might even say that we had our first date last night.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Cause there was dinner, by candlelight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dinner and a show, if you include Michael’s movie. [Pam nods reluctantly] And there was dancing and fireworks. Pretty good date.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You’re right, we didn’t dance. It was more like, swaying. But still romantic.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Least I didn’t leave you at a high school hockey game.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, come on, Pam. I-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, we didn’t dance. I was totally joking anyway. I mean, it’s not really a date if the girl goes home to her fiance. Right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What are you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really? Do you wanna get back to that? I could go. I should go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, not at all.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[reading screenplay] Bullets are flying everywhere. Ooo, wait, last page, big finish. Here we go. Agent Michael Scarn kicks open the plane door with a karate chop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, it’s just a movie, Dwigt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Just then, Agent Chang gets a bullet in the head.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Another bullets heads towards Agent Michael Scarn, but he jumps out of the plane without a parachute.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yup, I guess so.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What was my worst first date? Umm. It was a couple of years ago. It was a lunch date, actually, it was right down here, at Cugino’s. And we had just met, and we really hit it off, it was, it was kinda nice. Umm, huh. And, uh, then, as it turned out, it wasn’t even a date, because she was actually in love with someone else. So, best first date is also my worst first date. Oddly enough.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "S’ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You’re not having sex.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, you know what, uh, how much is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. Um, ok. [pops Dwight’s orb with scissors]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "We don’t have double-tabbed manila file folders.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, we don’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright… well, I’m not asking for a raise. I’m gonna actually be asking for a pay decrease.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I win.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wait, wait; one thing. Uh, by tomorrow, you mean Saturday, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Duh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Today is Thursday. But Dwight thinks that it’s Friday. And that’s what I’ll be working on this afternoon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ohh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Eck!… Oh! Also, it is Thursday, but Dwight thinks it’s Friday. So, keep that goin’.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[on phone] Hey, Dan, this is Jim, and it is about 11:15, and I wanted to know what you were up to tomorrow, which is the fifteenth, and that is a…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[pumps fist] …Saturday, so just let me know what you’re doing tomorrow, Saturday, for lunch. Ok, talk to you soon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, how’s it goin’?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Course, it’s on every Thursday night, so how could I miss it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, that was unbelievable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t really wanna picture it. But thank you, Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, you don’t, I don’t think, come all the way back, you know. Especially working together.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, no, I don’t think you can.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ummm… no idea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Then why the question?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I have one, too. Jim. Jim, Is Jim. My name is Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You have a better idea?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’ll use that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, that’s… It’s great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. You have fun?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Did you go to first base?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Did you go to second?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Second.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, so close call at second. Was there an infield fly?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pop-up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, you got the signal from the third-base coach. You know what I’m saying? Like if there was a fly out to deep right, you know. A runner on second. He tagged up, didn’t he?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Office romances. Um… [laughs] I think you should probably ask Pam ’cause she’s in an office romance, technically.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Which one?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "He can’t hear you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, that is because that is the gift that keeps on giving. Oh, my God. I left today’s paper on my desk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What? Yes, that is exactly what I mean. Wow. You are very good at what you do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Are we in danger?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hmm…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[humming]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh hum.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s true. I’m having a party. I’ve got three cases of imported beer, a karaoke machine, and I didn’t invite Michael. So three ingredients for a great party. And it’s nothing personal, I just think that if he were there, people wouldn’t be able to relax, and you know, have fun, and my roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks that I’m making Dwight up. [sighs] He is very real.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, Dwight thinks that tonight is a surprise party for Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[laughs] Oh man. Oh, you know what, speaking of which, I was just trying to get a handle on, you know, numbers for food and stuff. So do you think that Roy’s gonna come, or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, ok, cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yup, it’s, uh, four o’clock.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, um… .I can’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh hmm, definitely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You do?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Because you said “do you wanna hang out”-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Aw, that sounds like a lot of fun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Improv sounds great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I think Stanley just coughed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Quick announcement everybody, if I could have everybody’s attention. We do have wine in the kitchen, and, uh, there is beer available on the porch and despite what you might think, it’s not all for Meredith and Kelly, so please enjoy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s because Mark’s my roommate.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, uh, later-ish.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Great. [to a group of guests] Just wanna let you guys know that we will be taking the tour like I promised-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey! Just in time! You wanna go on the group tour? We were just about to leave.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, the group tour is now leaving, then. Ladies and gentlemen, just a few things that we are gonna be pointing out to you today, you will be able to see both bedrooms and, uh, if we’re lucky, maybe get a chance to peek into the bathroom, who knows. I have to remind you that flash photography is prohibited and as much as you can, please refrain from touching things. I know you might want to.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, actually, I haven’t talked to her in a while.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "We can talk about that later.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "See, I knew we lost somebody on the tour. It’s-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "This is my desk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "My home office, this is it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, sure. Will do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, that… Yep, that feels about right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what? Let’s just leave that image out of it, because this is a happy place. Happy thoughts, Pam. Happy thoughts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, you don’t have to, ummm. Alright, yes, that’s not gonna be awkward at all.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Angela, burger? Dog? Havin’ fun?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Chicken, hot dog, burger.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "There is soda inside.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh by the way how’s your side project going?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, definitely didn’t need help with that, but, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, yeah, I guess.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, no one can snap with their little finger.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And in this room here, if you look closely, you will find out a few clues about who lives here. Um, he likes biking, obviously, and uh, what else? Uh, he likes tour guides, I guess. And if you’re very perceptive, you’ll notice that he didn’t do a great job of cleaning his room [kicks water bottle under bed]. Ok, and uh, that’s the tou-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, thank you, Ryan, uh, I don’t know, I think I made the mistake one day of telling someone that I like penguins, and here we are.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And that’s why it’s on my desk, Phyllis; it means a lot to me, and now that I know it was from you, it means even more. Moving on! Uh, ok, so that’s the end of the tour for now, and if you liked it please tell your friends:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So this year, for the first time ever, I got Pam in Secret Santa. And I got her this teapot, which I know she really wants, so she can make tea at her desk. But I’m also going to stuff it with some inside jokes. Like, this is my high school yearbook photo. She saw it at the party, and it really makes her laugh. Not sure why. What else .. ooh. This is a hot sauce packet. She put this on a hot dog a couple years ago because she thought it was ketchup. And it was really funny, so I kept the other two. [holds up a miniature pencil] This would take a little too long to explain, so I won’t. And this is the card. Because Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I think I did a pretty good job.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, I can’t tell you cause it’s a secret.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, there’s a $20 limit, right? So .. ?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s great. Well don’t tell me who it is, cause I can ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, cool. [opens his plastic bag]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Great. Where did you get it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "He obviously forgot to get me something, and then he went in his closet and dug out this little number [holds up way-too-short sleeves] and then threw it in a bag.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "There’s a little more to it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What is Yankee Swap?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I thought that was called Nasty Christmas.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, shouldn’t we … I bought that specifically for Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sure you don’t want the teapot?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. No. Definitely. It’s ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Got to be kidding me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, but, Michael, the point is that we all bought gifts for specific people.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I bought this teapot for Pam, and I know she really wants it. So, can I trade you for it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Come on, it’s a shamrock keychain. Good luck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Look, it has sentimental value, Dwight. Can I buy it from you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You don’t even drink tea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "JIm", + "text": "Okay ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "To think that my gift for Pam will be used for that, it’s a little too much to handle.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know, you don’t have to answer calls during a party. Just thought you should know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "But ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, either way. This is an amazing gift because it comes with bonus gifts. Look inside.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I didn’t think you were going to get that one. I really didn’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What’s up, buddy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow, that’s weird. Oh, dollar for a stapler, that’s pretty good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Who, Steve?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, there it is. J1.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Here, you know what? You can have some nickels.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "“It’s time for our first quarter camaraderie event, so pack a swimsuit, a toothbrush, rubber-soled shoes, and a ski mask.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So that he can have us rob a bank, and then escape through the sewers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeesh, how old is this ship?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m not really sure what movie you’re talking about. Are you sure you got the title right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael stands in the front of the boat and says that he’s king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s not hilarious, but…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. [chanting] Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, um… [A long silence.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um… let’s see, uh… The customer. Because the customer is king.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what? I would save the receptionist. I just wanted to clear that up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know. Let’s break up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What happened to you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, right, because you announced that his ship was sinking?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What a night.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "She was always engaged.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s… great. You know, to tell the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. She’s really funny, and she’s warm. And she’s just… well, anyway.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "She’s engaged.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Huh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, I really don’t want to.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thanks, Katy. Um, didn’t really prepare anything to say. We’re all caught pretty unprepared with this whirlwind courtship. I guess I just wanna say that Pam is the greatest. My best friend. And she’s awesome. And…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[off camera] Yeah, that’s right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What’s going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m sorry? Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What is going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, whoa, Michael…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s, okay, it’s Jim. Just say again, uh, really loudly what happened.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You burned your foot on a Foreman Grill?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "But you said that you went out with her this weekend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[sounds of a car crash] What was that…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "He hit the pole!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s broken right, he can’t…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh Dwight, Dwight, [Dwight pukes on his back windshield] Ohhhhhh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "He’s still driving… Dwight, you forgot your bumper!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, where are you shipping your foot?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, I guess Pam and Dwight are friends now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Do you think Dwight’s bein’ a little weird today?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And that isn’t weird?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Quick question: uh, why is Tom Hanks on the wall?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I want to clamp Michael’s face in a George Foreman grill.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You mean today? He stepped on a George Foremen grill and he burned his foot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, ok, I think we need to take him to the hospital because I’m pretty sure he has a concussion.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Slowly, slowly. Let’s just get to the elevator.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What are you doing? What, stop…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Dwight falls onto the couch] Stop, stop, stop, stop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You can’t lay down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wake up. [sprays Dwight]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m just gonna get…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Just keep him awake.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You don’t think you should sit in the back with Dwight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, I think she has a kid.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Come on, get inside.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "We’re going to Chuck E. Cheese.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "We’re going to the hospital, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh my God, Dwight, put that down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Give the bottle to Michael [sprays Dwight]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Give the bottle to Michael!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[to Michael] Will you stop?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael stop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael stop. [sprays Michael, then Dwight]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Stop [sprays Michael]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s Kurt. Wow, I am so sad that I know that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Concussion. [Michael scribbles something out] What did you write?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So you thought they meant your reason for coming to the hospital.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Come on Dwight. [sprays Dwight]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh hmm, he should be fine, but, uh, they brought him in for a CAT scan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael went in there with him too. It’s pretty sweet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh huh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "But they shouldn’t be much longer now, so we’ll be back soon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’ve had a Foreman grill for about six years, I’ve done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I’ve never burnt myself, probably because I don’t use it as a pillow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know, that’s probably not gonna last too long, you should go to a hospital and get a real cast.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And doctors.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m gonna pull the car around.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Do you speak Spanish?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, I don’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Not much what’s up with you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Umm, is it me or does it smell like up-dog in here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nothin’ much what’s up with you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[mouthing] So close.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. On the booze cruise I told Michael about some feelings I used to have for Pam. I had just broken up with Katy and had a couple drinks. And I confided in the world’s worst confidant.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Remember that thing I told you on the booze cruise about Pam? That… was… personal so if we can just keep that between you and me. That would be great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Umm, hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nobody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright. Great. Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m going with grape.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Which one?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know what you mean.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, uh, ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m going to take off actually.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Tony the tiger. You don’t hear that much any more.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, I had asked Michael if I could head up the Oscar investigation and he said that only Dwight was capable of handling such sensitive material.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know probably just gonna eat my ham and cheese sandwich in the break room.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, that’s alright, thank you though. It’s, I, gotta do some cleaning, should probably stick around here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, ah, no but no. You know what let’s go out. That was a good idea. Let’s go out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nope we’re not brothers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Can I just have the ham and cheese sandwich, thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, I really don’t want to talk about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, she’s easy to talk to I guess and she’s got a really good sense of humor.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh-huh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What about you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow, that’s not what I meant.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thanks, thanks Dana.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Holds up Hooters t-shirt] Just you know politics, literature.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well the cats out of the bag. I used to have a crush on Pam and now I [hesitate] don’t. Riveting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ah, coupon for a free sandwich.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It expired in August, and my cell phone charger from two years ago.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Big day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey oh, listen, um, I told Michael on the booze cruise. It’s so stupid. Um, I told Michael that I had had a crush on you when you first started here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well I thought that, I figured you should hear it from me rather than, I mean you know Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And seriously, it’s totally not a big deal, ok? And when I found out you were engaged, I mean.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh you did?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, no, you saw through me, great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh yeah, yeah… hope that’s okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And Pam it was like three years ago so I am totally over it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Umm, what happened?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, hey, wow, wow. Listen man it’s, you know what. It’s not a big deal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Look its one day, everything’s gonna be alright. No big deal. You good?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ready?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, you what, seriously, you should have it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, tomorrow, that’s gonna be tough ’cause I already laid out my outfit, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pam’s on vacation and she gets back tomorrow, so it’ll be nice to see her. It’ll be nice, and, uh, she set a date for the wedding with Roy. Uh… June. Summer. So, that’ll be nice. And that’s that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey! Welcome back!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, how was the resort? Did you ski a lot?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good! What’s goin’ on here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What? I did not do that. That sounds disgusting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[smelling the stink] Oh. Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That might be a little difficult with the one computer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "But there’s definitely a desk open in the back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "…which I guess I’ll be taking.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, no, no, seriously, I’ll be in the back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Kelly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, just for the day while Michael’s at my desk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Allergy to… the desk?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s the lever on the side.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, I don’t think I can…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nothing much. Let me ask you something. It’s actually little awkward.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What do you think of Kelly?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Are you interested in her?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "She said lots of things.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I have no idea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[on phone] Hey, Brenda. This is, uh, Jim Halpert from the boat. And I got your number from the corporate directory and, well, I was assuming that you probably gave it to them because you wanted me to ask you out, right? Um, so gimme a call back. You can get my number from said directory, um, or just check your e-mail ’cause I just sent you one. Yikes. Uh… give me a call back, I hope. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, just somewhere in the Poconos. I was just surfing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Just give me one second. I’m just gonna grab something to eat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, you used to share that cubicle with Kelly, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And then you just changed desks, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "To one without a cubicle.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, you just couldn’t take it anymore, huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, that’s how it’s gonna be.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thanks for the head’s up, Kev.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, no, no. No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Nope. Yeah. Definitely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. I like talking to her too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes. Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yep. Cool, man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ponies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Flowers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s a complete… well, actually it’s exactly what you’d expect, so… How are the girls?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Did you really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nice. Well, what’s it all about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I think you should do it. That’s great!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So you’re not doing it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Why not?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Roy said that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You got to take a chance on something sometime, Pam. I mean, do you want to be a receptionist here, always?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You are?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, that one was good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Do you mean vibrate?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So I broke up with Katy and haven’t been dating anybody else, so this year I don’t have to worry about Valentine’s Day. It’s gonna be good. I invited a couple of friends over. We’re gonna play some cards and I’ll end up winning a lotta money. Because, they’re idiots. It’s gonna be great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I dunno, it’s on your desk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It was there when I sat down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey Kelly. What’s up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OH, that’s great. I’m really happy for [starts to walk away]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, don’t be.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I bet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright. [Kelly squeals]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[on phone] Nah that’s alright. Spend money on her, instead of giving it to us. That’s fine. No, I didn’t even have a seat for you anyway. Yeah, hahaha, alright man, have a good night. Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Take it slow. ‘Cause it seems like a lot of the time things like that need… [Ryan walks in]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[under breath] Oh, no, not while I’m here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what? Here’s the deal, Kelly. It would be really nice if he was in to you, right? It’d be great, but he isn’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, he’s not, though. So you just gotta suck it up. You just gotta move on. Try to have some fun. Come to my poker game tonight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Alright, Beesly, Hey, Happy Valentine’s Day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Animalian?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Why?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You’re writing something?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, I’m not gonna do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "But I know how to spell it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Only if you tell me what you’re writing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So now you’re writing two things?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight lives on a beet farm and he practices karate at the forth grade level. And he apparently has a girlfriend, so… I guess there really is someone for everybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Can we not?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Still want that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Cugino’s pizza.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight was the top salesman of the year at our company. He wins a little prize money and gets honored at some convention. It is literally the highest possible honor that a Northeastern Pennsylvania-Based Mid-size Paper Company Regional Salesman can attain, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What did I do to deserve this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, I should get back. Talk to you guys later.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hi, yeah, can I talk to one of your travel agents?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m going to take a trip. I’m going to get out of town for a while… and go someplace… not here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Where do I want to go? Um… that is an excellent question. And one I should have probably thought about before I called you. Um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Can I go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So. Uh… I am going on a trip. But not really sure where I’m going yet. It’s kind of open-ended. So I was hoping maybe you guys would have some suggestions?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I was thinking more like Europe. Or something like that. But, good second choice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "When did you go there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really for like how long?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Where do I want to go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. We’re not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Which means absolutely nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay. Just trying to get some advice on my trip.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know I majored in Public Speaking in College.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Mmmhmm. And the first thing they teach you is that you’ve got to be true to your self. And you are all about authority.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "The great speakers throughout history were not joke tellers. They were people of passion. So if you want to do well today, you got to do what they did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You’ve got to wave your arms and you’ve got to pound your fists. Many times. It’s supposed to emphasize your point.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, I didn’t actually major in Public Speaking. But, I did download speeches from some of history’s famous dictators. Like this one [holds up paper]. Originally given by Benito Mussolini.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, look. I know you are giving this speech on your own but I wrote up a few talking points for you to take a look at. I hope you don’t mind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Maybe. Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. I’m definitely going.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m going. I’m a little nervous to run into Dwight on his connecting flight to Mordor. But, other than that… um, yeah, I bought the ticket, non-refundable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know. I feel like I have plenty of time to figure out the details but…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m… leaving on June 8th.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. And I’m really sorry about that, I just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Do you want me to take these on my way out?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Goggles?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Bribery. Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "The ocean.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What are you reading?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Aww, best book?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pfft. So have I. Hey, question. If you had to spend a night in the Met or the Aquarium, which would it be?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Definitely. Yes. Glad you said that. …You don’t want to help me with some of my sales, do you? ‘Cause, I’m kind of swamped.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yesss. And you’re Abby, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m Jim. [Jim hi-fives Abby] Annnnd… let’s sell some paper.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Let’s start with… your mom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[shaking hands with Abby] Ow, ow, ow, ow, you broke my hand.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really? ‘Cause she’s pretty strong, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s pretty funny.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Can’t believe his mom dressed him like that, that’s the real tragedy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ohh, man, I would love to! I can’t tonight, but can I come over some other time? [Abby nods]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thanks, Kev. Uhm… I’m actually going on a date.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Why does he own a guitar if he doesn’t know how to play?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m pretty excited about today. I baby-sit Toby’s daughter Sasha sometimes. So, she’s the coolest kid. She has seen me play with dolls, though, so I don’t know how cool she thinks I am.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Abby. I wanted to give you this for all your hard work today. Look. Michael signed it and everything. Official.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Absolutely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Actually, I have the certification number right here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "“A7557962.” Totally nonsense numbers, but you do what you have to do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, um. How is this not a pyramid scheme?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey. …Oh, happy birthday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Man, I’m so sorry. When do you find out?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Kelly, you know what…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sometime today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Maybe, but… we’re gonna need somebody to create a diversion, and…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So. We got Kev some stuff. Um… a party pack of M&M’s, his favorite candy. A DVD of American Pie 2, which is his favorite movie, and, he lent it to Creed, so, I can guarantee you he won’t get that back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Which we realize sounds crass, but, it… is his favorite number.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[puts fabric softener into cart] …What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, you don’t?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "…Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Okay. Oh. I dare you to make an announcement.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Just… quit stalling.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Such a dork.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How old are you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well that’s an invasion of privacy, so, I’m going to tell Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You… owe me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Think you can let go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. [Michael skates by]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Is that Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "…It’s something to think about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael’s birthday. It’s pretty fun to watch, actually. He gets very excited, and then he eats a lot of cake. And then he runs around the office. Then he has a sugar crash in the afternoon. And then he falls asleep. And that’s when we get our work done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You look cute today, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, yesterday Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. Which is unfortunate because as it turns out, Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[mimicking Stanley] I enjoy the tangy zip of Miracle Whip.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Whoa. You are a volunteer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And that’s not the same.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[interrupting] Volunteer duty.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, your office is behind you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m just saying that you can’t be sure that is wasn’t you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don’t remember.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, how could you, if it just erased your memory?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Now how do you know how it works?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No! You said that I’d be conducting the interview when I walked in here. Now exactly how much pot did you smoke?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, um…[mimicking Stanley] Why do you keep CC’ing me on things that have nothing to do with me? [Pam and Oscar laugh, Stanley walks in, and Oscar leaves quickly]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, hey Stanley. Uh, I was just doing an impression.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[mouths] C’mon!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[presses drink button, looks at camera, makes Jim-face]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How much time do you have left on your break?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. What a terrible day to not be able to talk. Dwight was literally carrying around his own urine and dressed like one of the Village People. Why does he do the things that he does for Michael? I just don’t get it. What is he getting out of that relationship?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[growling] Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, [gives Pam a look]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Whoa.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[telephone ringing] [shows note to camera “It’s OK. She’ll call back!”]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, I mean it’s inevitable. I definitely overhear some wedding preparation, but I’m fine with it. She hears me arranging my social life. And we both have to hear Dwight order deer urine over the Internet, so it evens out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight tried to kiss me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And I didn’t tell anyone because I’m not really sure how I feel about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, I’m not actually making a formal complaint. I just really think we should talk about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, it was redacted. Look, if she wants an invite, maybe she’s just trying to be friends.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[sighs] Well, what does Roy think about everything?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You mean your thoughts and feelings?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey… you know what, Dwight? Maybe we should get our photo I.D. taken together.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, it saves time, you know. ‘Cause we could just meet in the parking lot every morning. Walk in together. Perfect.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "This came out really well. [picks up Dwight’s I.D. from the laminating machine and hands it to Dwight] There you go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What did I write?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[laughs] Yes! Five bucks each. And it was totally worth it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That actually took a while. I had to put, uh, more and more nickels into his handset, till he got used to the weight, and then I just… took ’em all out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Just a simple macro. You know, these actually don’t sound that funny one after another. But he does deserve it, though.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom. And that’s how I spent my entire day that day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Maybe Stanford would be cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Maybe we should both go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sure you do, Dwight. Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pam, it wasn’t her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m the one who complained about you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I… I didn’t know that Toby was gonna write it down. [the camera flashes] I was just venting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know, it was one day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And I took it right back. It was like…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[on Pam’s answering machine] Hey, Pam… it’s Jim. Um, I have a doctor’s appointment in the city. So I probably won’t be in till the late afternoon. Just thought I’d let you know. Okay, bye. [camera shows Jim sitting on a waiting coach in another Dunder Mifflin office]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight, I really think someone’s probably just playing a prank on you, so just go right through it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Probably is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Just cut through it, man, it’s no big deal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That is not why. Wow, man, he really wants to get in touch with you. Maybe it’s a murder.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Maybe poison?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "My God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Not bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What does Level Red mean?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Excuse me. How long is the wait for a table for two?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I can always kind of win at roulette.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Mind control.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ever since I was a little kid, like, eight or nine, I could sort of control things with my mind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It was just little thing, you know, like I could make something shake or I could make a marble fall off the counter. You know, just little things.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, I’ll try. [The coat rack wobbles] [Pam holds up an umbrella handle to the camera in another scene]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That doesn’t exist anymore.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I think you mean the aid to Afghanistan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Guys, the Afghanistananies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What are you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "“Till Death Do Us Rock.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wait, wait, where you going? I mean, even if you don’t hire a band, you still have to watch the bands. Pam, these are people who have never given up on their dreams. I have great respect for that. And, yes, they’re all probably very bad and that will make me feel better about not having dreams.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Let’s do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Why did I talk to Jan about transferring? Well, you know… I have no future here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Jim ejects a videotape from the VCR and puts in a new one] Wow. I don’t know how you’re gonna decide. They are all extremely good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Your mom would love that. She would. Oh, this band is called Scrantonicity.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Let’s take a look. Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, my God, that’s Kevin! Great song, Kev. Oh, my God, he’s the drummer and the singer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. Oh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, you haven’t seen that since 1983. That is amazing. Okay, we have to sign him. I’m gonna call the label, we’re gonna…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, Pam, you’re gonna lose him to another wedding.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Kev!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[coughs] I will raise. [Dwight sighs and folds his cards] Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s the weirdest thing. Every time I cough, he folds.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What was this? [Makes face]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. I think you’re bluffing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh. Three nines.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you very much. It was fun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, that’s still going on, huh? You and Kelly?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, thanks. You having fun?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, we all really…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, I think you look great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, why did you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, will do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, how’s it going?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Hey, can I talk to you about something?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, I…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I was just… I’m in love with you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m really sorry if that’s weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing, I know that. I just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I just needed you to know. Once.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Don’t do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Come on. I don’t wanna do that. I wanna be more than that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Not your fault. I’m sorry I misinterpreted our friendship.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "My charity is the Lackawanna County Volunteer Sheriff’s Department, because Dwight’s a Volunteer Sheriff. So I thought this was a perfect opportunity to support/mock him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[after “the kiss”] You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No I’m not drunk. Are you drunk?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Are you really gonna marry him? [Pam nods] …Ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I can’t say whether Dunder Mifflin paper is less flammable, sir, but I can assure that it is certainly not more flammable.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Why did I transfer to Stamford? I think that’s pretty obvious. I got promoted! And you can’t beat that view… right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh-huh, yeah. I am.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OooOK.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I ate a tuna sandwich, on my first day. So, Andy started calling me Big Tuna. …I don’t think any of them actually know my real name.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, I can do that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What’s gay-dar? Oh, oh, gay-dar, yes! No, uh, I think they have it at Sharper Image. Oh, you know what? I could check for you. No problem. [loudly fake typing] It’s sold out! Yeah sorry about that, that’s a bummer.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I miss that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Let’s find out. [starts typing]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh! Lots of results.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s really good to see you, man.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, sold about forty thousand.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, it’s not. I did. Yep.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. And then he spoke. I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, Dwight. I’ve missed you so much.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That is a lot of liquor.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And a dart board.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, no, sorry, it’s an inside joke. There’s this bartender at Stamford who, uh… you know what? You’d just have to be there.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right, nice meeting you, Ted. Take care.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh yeah?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, tell him I say hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, how is… Toby?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, no, it was… you know, a good opportunity for me, a promotion. I got a chance to…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael, it’s really not a competition.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dwight’s room key. And… Dwight’s room. What can I say? Old habits die hard.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh my God. Dwight got a hooker! Oh my God, I gotta call… well, I gotta call somebody, I don’t even know who to call. Dwight got a hooker!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael. Am I the first to arrive?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Can I get a drink?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Can I get a drink?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wait, wait. I didn’t transfer because of you. You’re a good boss. You’re a great boss.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Michael, it’s not about… I transferred because of Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, I just… I heard something about that. It’s just, I kind of put it all on the line. Twice, actually. And she said no. Twice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nope, that’s okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That’s all right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Okay, maybe.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How are you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, we used to. Now we’re friends.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "At the Stamford branch, they all play this World War II video game called Call of Duty, and they’re all really into it. I’m told it started as a team building exercise. Unfortunately I really suck at it. We didn’t play many video games in Scranton. Instead we’d do stuff like, uh, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high pitched note, and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And uh, Pam called it… Pretendenitus.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m just killing Germans, any way I can.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[turning around to Karen] Wait, are we playing teams?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah I think we can be a big help to your company. [someone dims the lights, signifying that it’s game time] Ok, see you next week. Bye. [to Karen] Again?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, I’m sorry I don’t know… what we’re talking about…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Um, sniper rifle?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m sorry what are you whispering about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m trying—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What? [Karen’s player shoots Jim’s player, “You killed Jim Halpert” appears on the screen, Karen giggles]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. Psychopath. [Karen grins widely at Jim]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[leaving his desk for the day, pretends pull the pen out of a pretend grenade, and tosses it to Karen]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[playing Call of Duty] Oh? Someone’s left out in the open, taking a little siesta. Not smart. [shoots] Yes! Finally killed you… [Karen’s desk is empty]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Jan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[nervously] Pretty good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[baffled expression]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Things are a little bit… different here in Stamford. [shrug] It’s not bad.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh yeah, definitely.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What’s up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Mmm, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m your project supervisor today, and I have just decided that we’re not doing anything until you get the chips that you require. So, I think we should go get some. Now, please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, that is a “no” on the on the West Side Market.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. Never pegged you for a quitter.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, there’s no game. We’re just trying to get these chips for Karen.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I have no idea. We went right for the copier.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And then we checked the fax machine.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[on phone] Hi, yeah. This is Mike from the West Side Market. Well, we get a shipment of Herr’s salt and vinegar chips, and we ordered that about three weeks ago and haven’t … . yeah. You have ’em in the warehouse. Great. What is my store number… six. Wait, no. I’ll call you back. [quickly hangs up] Shut up [to Karen].", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nice!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sounded good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Where’d I find what?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I called the manufacturer, who referred me to distributor, who referred me to the vending machine company, who told me that they sell them in the machines in the building next door.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Umm… sure.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[chuckles] He’s so cute.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Is it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, I didn’t. I took back my chair that you took from me, but I didn’t take your chair.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So I guess I can’t get up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[sings] Love me, love me, say that you love me, fool me, fool me,", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Go on and fool me. Love me, love me, say that you love me", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "fool me, fool me, go on and fool me. Love me,", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Love me, say that you love me. Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ah, hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sorry, I forgot Kevin’s extension. It’s a fantasy football thing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And I was just going to go through the system cause I didn’t think you’d be there. Why, why are you still there?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. Do you think you could send me a copy of that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, I’m sorry. Go ahead.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What time is it here? Um, we’re in the same time zone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How far away did you think we were?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. I have a question for you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How many words per minute does the average person type?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Shut up. Mavis Beacon doesn’t even type 90.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 39 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, I said average.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 41 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Forget it. I was just about to brag but forget it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 43 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 45 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "65. Ok, no need to laugh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 47 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Respectable?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 49 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I know!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No way. How do you confuse 28 Days with 28 Days Later?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, you’re making this up!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes. Fancy New Beesley would make that up. New apartment, new stories.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And how many kitchens?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow, you got totally taken for a ride Beesley.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Most apartments these days have like three.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes! How are you going to cook every meal of the day in one kitchen?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pam?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Pam?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, yeah, I should, I should, I should probably go too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, no no.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, uh, well.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Bye Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "See, that’s weird.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I saw the movie. I just don’t know every line from the film.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I started biking into work. Josh does it and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also it saves gas money, keeps me in shape… helps the environment. And now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "‘Scuse me?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Once a quarter, the sales staff at this branch has to stay late to do order form consolidation… which, amazingly, is even less interesting than it sounds.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What’s that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, Holy Mother of God.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Can I have a ride, man? I… uh… I have my bike.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m a drunk driver.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Man, you can really hold your liquor, Billabelli.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No kidding. And I am just going to lie down in the back, if that’s all right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nope, I got eel.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, umm… kinda hard to explain.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but, before I left, I took a box of Dwight’s stationery, so, from time to time, I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future. [reading fax] “Dwight, at 8 A.M. today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight.”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really? Wow… that’s bad.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, I work here now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I worked in Scranton for a really long time. And uh, it’s going to be weird that it’s all disappearing. I mean, I always knew that the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be because Michael sold the building for some magic beans.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, do you have a second?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I know it’s not definite or whatever, but uh, do you know who’s coming over here from Scranton?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, so is it like sales or… accountants?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What does that mean?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, it’s just I’m not sure if I um… well to be quite honest with you, Jan, I have a few unpleasant memories of Scranton. And um…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. No, no. Just um… some personal stuff. And I’m not really ready to revist that, I don’t think.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I really don’t know. How you doing with all this?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You’d actually move to Scranton?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "New York City is 45 minutes down the road from here. And you wanna move to Scranton? I dunno. If I were you I’d move to New York?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, um, I think I am gonna take that job. And Scranton… it’s not that bad. So, if they offer you a job there, I think you should take it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "The Stamford branch is closing and everybody’s just packing up their stuff. Andy Bernard made these tasteful hats.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know what? I think you just need to meet him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sounds good Andy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes. This is going to be very interesting. All right, I’m out of here. See you later?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hi, I’m Jim. I’m new here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, I was just doing a little joke there about how we’d never met…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Awesome! Good to be back. The place looks really good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You, too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Where do I stand with Pam? Um… no idea. I mean, we’re friends. Always have been friends. Um… .that is where we stand.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay. Sounds good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I don’t know what you’re talking about.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. Looks good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m not.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I am.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey! How are you man? Good to see… you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, I’m sorry. Are you sitting here now?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You know, man, it’s really you’re call.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[whispers] Let me get that for you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "This one taken? No. Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Toby!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "How are you, man?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I just wanted to say hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh. Is that like your new thing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. It’s cool.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right. Good to be back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No problem.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[off camera] …what?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Kelly!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Great. What’s new with you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, this looks promising.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It reminds me of the orientation video showed on my first day. ‘The Scranton Witch Project’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Terrible. Totally unconvincing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Not bad, but you are Italian so… try it more Italian.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You feel good?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh yeah. I’m trying to move away from that. Getting into more of a bottled water phase.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, I’m evolving, Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh! Um… tonight, actually? No. I’m uh just still getting settled.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Nope. You’re not interrupting anything. Nope. I’m…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Don’t…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right. [to Pam] I should probably get back to work. Get back to work.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Does he ever.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, it does, actually.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[talking on cellphone] Hey! Where you at, Filippelli?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[laughs] What’s wrong? You didn’t have a good first day?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Sure. Sounds good. I… . [sees Pam in rearview mirror] Hey! You know what? Can I give you a call right back?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Ok, thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I thought you had already… left.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh… Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, nothing. I just feel bad. I feel like things were a little weird today… or something.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I just think I should tell you that… I’ve sort of started seeing someone. And uh…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "O..ok. Um..good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Good to be back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey, Kev. How you doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Smart. Good. [to Angela] Hey, Angela.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Bye, Angela. All right, Kev.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "See you later.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, I never even knew that part of the office existed. [Pam chuckles] Hey, who’s that guy? [Jim points to Stanley]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Huh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Seems like a nice enough guy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What about, uh.. [points at Meredith]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you for all of this. This is so helpful. You know what? One last question. Um, who is that fine older gentleman in the corner? [points to Creed]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "For the North.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Obviously.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sorry. Man. [Pam hesitates and then leaves]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Just about… yup. Now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes. I have started to see Karen. It’s very new, and… not really ready to talk about it openly yet, just because, I think, once the word gets out there, it might affect the way people behave around us or… I dunno. Just, not yet.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[picks up phone] Jim Halpert.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "…Okay I can’t… help you… with that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "She is dating Ryan, I think.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "She’s… high-maintenance.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "…Absolutely you should.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I know Pam pretty well. I know the things that she likes, and, just as important, I know the things that she hates. So, one of the things that she likes is pranks. And, the things that she hates…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Frisbee-based competitions…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "She…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Lead off with that. She loves hunting. She also loves those ads for Six Flags, with the old guy. [Andy hums Six Flag ad] Got it. Also… do you speak pig latin?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Jonas Salk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Justin Timberlake?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What is that, like… five pounds?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh. Andy. I thought of one last tact you can take with Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Quick question – do you play the guitar?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hold on, let me think about that, yes, that’ll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yup. That’s perfect.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Perfect.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "…I’m messing with Andy. I’m sending him to all the women in the office with… just… terrible information on how to get them to go out with him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "…Oh, you know what? … It was… gonna be Pam, but…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Uh, you know what though? I feel like I already sicked him on Pam… we’ll give her a break. Let’s think of someone else.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Where… did you learn all of this?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, not prison.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What’d you do, Prison Mike?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "That is… quite the rap sheet, Prison Mike.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, you’re… in… prison, but, mmhmm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Okay, Michael. Come on. Let us out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Merry Christmas Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. What have we got here?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Dead goose.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. Win-Win.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Wow. What kind of bike is that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "But the paint’s chipping. Is that your old bike, Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Creed takes toy from toy drive box.] Oh, I think you’re supposed to put a toy in the box, Creed.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Carol walks through door looking upset] [waves] Carol.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It’s a bold move, to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael’s a bold guy. [Towards unseen cameraman] Is bold the right word?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Are you serious?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[Opens folder and reads from Dwight’s file] Last year, my boss, Michael Scott, took a day off because he said he had pneumonia, but really, he was leaving early to go to magic camp. Wow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[closes folder] You know what? Uh, I really don’t think I should be doing this stuff anymore, you know?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, because of the promotion.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "It just feels a little bit, like…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I feel like there’s a chance for me to start over. And if I fall back into the same kind of things I used to do., then … what am I doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Will they still air ‘Rudolph?’", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yup, looks like the Scranton people and the Stamford people are finally coming together. And that’s what you want, right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK, I think I can help here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "As ranking number two, I am starting a committee to determine the validity of the two committees and I am the sole member. The committee will act on this now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Could you please keep it down? [interrupted Dwight] I’m in session. I’ve determined that this committee is valid. [Pam and Karen cheer.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Permission denied.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "OK. [to Ryan] Wow, thanks for taking all the excuses, dude.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No, it’s not.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh, [points to Cindy] she’s asleep.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Probably.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "And she’s trying to correctly butcher a goose, but she’s having trouble coming up with it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh no, this is different. The CIA thing, that was a prank on Dwight. This is more like a umm… OK, it’s pretty much the same thing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "I’m sure they’ll want to meet her, too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "All right [high fives Kevin]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "What a horrible, horrible movie that was.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "No. She wasn’t.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Well, for starters, I’ve known you as a couple since the beginning of the relationship, which was approximately [looks a watch] three hours ago.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You what?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "You just had a rebound.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Yeah. Which, don’t get me wrong, can be a really fun distraction, but, when it’s over, you’re left thinking about the girl you really like, the one that broke your heart.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "[to Pam] Oh, you know what? Sorry, forgot to tell you. I intercepted a transmission earlier and it seems that the CIA is gonna need Dwight down at their headquarters in Langley for training and an ice cream social with the other agents.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Oh no, that would be great.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "Hmm… Well, maybe the CIA can send a helicopter?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jim", + "text": "So, really, you’re just calling her?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 82, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "pam": [ + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well. I don’t know.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, yeah. Just a fax.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You haven’t told me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, yeah, the one…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You put in the garbage can that was a special filing cabinet.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have an important question for you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Are you going to Angela’s cat party on Sunday?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "This is Mr. Scott.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t think it would be the worst thing if they let me go because then I might… I don’t think it’s many little girls’ dream to be a receptionist. I like to do illustrations. Um… Mostly watercolor. A few oil pencil. Um, Jim thinks they’re good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You just still have these messages from yesterday.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Don’t we all?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I was in the meeting with Jan and she did say that it could be this branch that gets the axe.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jim said mixed berries? Well, yeah, he’s on to me. Um… [Laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[Laughing]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So when are we going out?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "OK. Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Roy’s my fiance. We’ve been engaged about three years. We were supposed to get married in September but I think we’re gonna get married in the spring.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Do you mind if I go out for a drink with these guys?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "OK. I’m gonna be a few minutes. So it’s only twenty past five. I still have to do my faxes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You got a fax.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What? Why?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Stealing? What am I supposed to have stolen?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Post-it Notes? What are those worth, 50 cents?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Are you serious?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I can’t believe this. I mean I have never even stolen as much as a paperclip and you’re firing me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’re a jerk.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Good. I thought you were going out for a drink with…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s better, thanks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Is…?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um… Are you…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah. Listen, have a nice weekend.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I guess.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wired.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Smoked turkey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, Freecell.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know. I saw that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m saving that ’cause I like it when the cards go T-ts-ts-tch-tch-tch.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, hi. How are you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s nice, Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "OK, I like your food.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "OK. If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[stirs] Mmmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sorry.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, that spells incest.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It would’ve been just as easy for him to spell insect. Of course, that wouldn’t have made any sense either.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, um, there’s good things about Michael. He uh, uh… Yeah, definitely. Um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Seventy-six percent. What’s yours?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’re doing fine.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "People treat us like the race on our forehead. And then we guess what race we are.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It didn’t have anything to do with race.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "One time we had an ethnic festival in Scranton. One time.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What card was she?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m not making any copies.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Nothing new.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "There’s nothing new.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, do you want me to repeat the messages that I gave you before for the… [nods toward camera]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No. I have a life.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You should try it sometime.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[laughs]… your problem.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Where are you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Actually, people are really unhappy. Um, Dwight sent around this memo and people are freaking out ’cause the…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No you’re not.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Still no one calling.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight, what…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "OK. Dwight. Are you really in charge of picking the health care plan?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "This is a ridiculously awful plan. Because you cut everything.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight’s health care memo. I told you about it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, he made huge cuts.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Where are you going?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m inventing new diseases.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So, let’s say my teeth turn to liquid and then, they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Nice.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s an epidemic.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[on phone] Hey, Jim. It’s Pam.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Good, how are you? Busy?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, I’m not bothering you, am I?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You don’t have anything you’re doing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh great. Um, no, this weekend? Nothing. I’m not really doing anything.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I might go to the mall.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I need new shoes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Why did you put Dwight in charge of that? He did a horrible job.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We stole Dwight’s trashcan and she found some of his early attempts at his sign.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mmm hmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mmm hmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You promise these are confidential?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Did you just mark on that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You made a “P.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "In case I get sick.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Because we’re not married.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We haven’t set a date. [Dwight laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Shut up, Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m not talking to you anymore.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um… Actually, we don’t have any staff birthdays coming up.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay, umm… that would be Meredith.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "But it’s not until next month.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You still want to have a party?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How about green?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin. But Angela said she doesn’t like to gamble. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn’t smack her.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It is… her birthday.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "An alliance?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What does that even mean?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[whispering] Hey, Jim, can I talk to you for a second?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, I don’t know, I’m just like, I’m going a little crazy ’cause I keep overhearing all these conversations between Michael and corporate about like, staff issues?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, he’s making me take notes on these meetings and I’m, like, “These people are my friends.” But he’s all like, “This is confidential. You can’t tell anybody.” But I just feel like I want to… aaah. Just promise me you’re not gonna say anything.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "OK, yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "He’s in a box?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[on her cell phone] Hey where are you? Yeah, we were supposed to meet here. What? Oh my gosh! That ties in perfectly with something that Michael was telling me earlier! I just don’t know what some of the people in, like, accounting are going to do? It said specifically that…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Happy Birthday. [gives Meredith her card]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, tell me, tell me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[laughing] That’s perfect!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Hey!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Come on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s just office pranks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[telephone rings] Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Hold please.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I wasn’t really going for anything.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Are you being serious?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No one’s calling.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sometimes there’s a lot of time between the calls.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, I could tell.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That was a good example.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay. [telephone rings]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[smiling] Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. One moment I’ll transfer you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[whispering] I’m so sorry. [Angela, Phyllis, and Pam all whispering] … seriously, we’re just…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "My fiance has plans for us this Saturday. So I really hope that Dwight doesn’t make me work. Maybe I should sleep with him? I’m kidding, kidding. Totally kidding.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[on the phone] No, no, I know that the warranty’s expired, but isn’t it supposed to last longer than two years if it isn’t defective? OK, fine, three years.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Please don’t throw garbage at me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t think so Michael. Besides, I can’t cheer against my fiance.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Maybe Angela would cheerlead.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, I’m just forwarding the phones.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, you’re gonna need it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[laughing] I’m just saying, Roy is very competitive.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "And he wants to take the WaveRunners to the lake this Saturday so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, I think I’m gonna be up at the lake.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Woo!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, he’s, uh, pretty good, huh? [to Roy] Let’s get you into a tub.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "New pants?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Abercrombie & Fitch?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, I though we were saving money for the wedding, but apparently Roy thought it was more important to buy two WaveRunners. I don’t really ever get to use the other WaveRunner that’s supposed to be mine because his brother uses it and they race.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, Michael?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, there’s a…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "There’s a person here…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "There’s…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "There’s a person here who wants to sell handbags.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay, I told her you’d talk to her.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "There’s an HR meeting in there at 11:30.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s a very rude thing to say, Kevin.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s nice having Katy around. It’s another person for Michael to um, interact with.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We’re not dating, we’re engaged.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[smiles]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[mimicing Katy] Oh definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, God. It’s sad. It’s so sad.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[smiles in agreement]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’re horrible.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, what’s that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m engaged. So…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I wished, right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, I gave it to you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So, can I..? [points to the door]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[nods]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s what he said.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[not looking at Roy] Hi.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Roy…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Cut it out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Stop it. [laughing]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[giggling] Cut it out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Stop. [giggling]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[breathless] Stop, I can’t breathe.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jim is a great guy. He’s like a brother to me. We’re like best friends in the office and I really hope he finds someone.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m bored.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I’m kidding. Um, so you got big plans this weekend?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What are you guys going to do?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s cool.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I, I was gonna say, I think that um, we’re gonna help Roy’s cousin move.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "‘Cause Roy’s got a truck.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, huh. Yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay, I’m gonna head back.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You know Michael’s been talking to her too.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What do you think his chances are?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[laughs] I like that song.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[laughs] 10 years ago.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ugh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You know what they say about a car wreck, where it’s so awful you can’t look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael has taped every Dundies awards and now, he’s making me look through hours of footage to find highlights.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, yeah, this is the part where Kevin sat in front of the camcorder all night. It’s great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[quietly laughing] It wasn’t. I swear.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We’re not laughing at you, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, just something somebody wrote.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, it’s kind of private.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay, now I’m laughing at you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’re taking away our bathroom?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "…Dwight is banning us from our bathroom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "…because that’s what happens every time!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[Breaks Roy’s grip] No, I don’t want to go, I don’t want to.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "If you would have asked me that, then you would know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh no, I just, I decided to stay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’ll just get a ride home from Angela.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh good, I’m just in time for Ping.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[to an off camera waiter and still clutching Jim’s beer] Can I get a drink?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, no. ‘Cause the ice melts and then it’s like second drink! [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yay Kevin. Whoo hoo for Kevin! For stinking up the bathroom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Woo! Hey, I haven’t gotten one yet!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "More Dundies!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Fine work! Fine work Stanley!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Here here! Speech, speech, speech, speech [other people start joining in]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have so many people to thank for this award.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay, first off, my Keds. Because I couldn’t have done it without them. [people clap] Thank you. Let’s give Michael a round of applause for MC-ing tonight because [people start clapping again] this is a lot harder than it looks. And also because of Dwight too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, so, finally, I want to thank God. Because God gave me this Dundie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "And, I feel God in this Chili’s tonight. WHOOOOOOOO!!!!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight, get off me!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh my God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I just want to say, that this was the best, Dundies, ever! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I feel bad about what I wrote on the bathroom wall.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, um, can I ask you a question?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, I just wanted to say thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I am fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[laughing] I am fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, my God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight, let me up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’re holding up three fingers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You are?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "My Mom is coming in to visit. And she lives like two hours away. And she doesn’t have a cell phone… which is cool cause it’s kind of adding some suspense to my day. And I keep looking over at the door hoping she’ll walk in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’ve decided to show her around. She really wants to meet everybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "mmhmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um… I just wanted to say that… Just, my Mom’s coming in today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thanks, Kevin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Usually the day we talk about sexual harassment is the day that everyone harasses me as a joke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "She’s coming in today and maybe just don’t joke around about that stuff in front of her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh… my mother’s coming.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t have any DUI’s so I can drive myself, but thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[ecstatic] Oh my god!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hello!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I love my Mom. Okay. That’s probably really the most obvious statement ever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah. I’m in charge of this whole area.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "This is where I used to keep my computer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "But then I moved it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, yeah, but I uh… I switched stuff around because I actually needed like more room for organization. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So this is like, um, an organization station…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, you know… actually, I kind of need to stall a bit. But, it’s okay, because I am very used to killing time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mom!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ten minutes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Then we can go to dinner.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "He said what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Good morning, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Nothing. You look nice today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You look real thin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You just… You look good. Your shirt looks… You look real good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thin handsome, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We’re not dating.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We’re not dating, I’m engaged.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I would say no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I would drown myself.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know we’re having that harassment thing this afternoon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sometimes when we IM, I send you that little winking face with the lipstick.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah. I realize that might be harassment.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. I think today it was the expense reports that did him in. And our deal is that, it’s up to me to revive him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You see Dwight’s coffee mug?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sometimes when he’s not here, I try to throw stuff in it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Try paperclips. Oh wait. This message. For Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You headed out?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Have a great time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, I changed them to your new address.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes, I changed your Cracked magazine subscription.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[shakes head]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Now the bronze are really blue, and they’re also the back side of the gold, so no flipping. K? Honor system.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jim, they refer to it as Flonkerton.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "In English, box of paper snowshoe racing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "The thing about Jim, is when he’s excited about something, like the Office Olympics, he gets really into it and he does a really great job. But the problem with Jim is that he works here, so that hardly ever happens.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Go! Go! Go!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s Phyllis!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Flonkerton.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Are you sure you don’t want to play?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Come on Angela, don’t you have a game?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, let’s play, what is it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We’re friends.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I made something for our closing ceremonies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Automatic voicemail.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[sees Angela making check mark on tally sheet]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have 59 voicemails.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey. Morning.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay. What? What is this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know. I know what to do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay. Put everything back exactly how you found it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Dwight. Jim and I found your wallet in the parking lot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight, I swear, we didn’t do anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay. How about skeet Schruteing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mmm-hmmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Sure, can I ask who’s calling? Just a second.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Katy and Jim met in the office. And now I guess they’re like going out, or dating, or something. And, uh… I don’t know! You know? They’re just… She calls him, and they… You know, I’m sorry. I feel like I’m talking really loud. Am I talking really loud?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[to Jim] Hey! You can just give her your extension.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "…Would You Rather?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Legends of the Fall?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, I kind of liked Legal…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I take it back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I take it back!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, Fargo, um, Edward Scissorhands, Dazed and Confused…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes. In my top three, so suck it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Breakfast Club. Um… The Princess Bride and…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, my all time favorite!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "All time favorite.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You know, I bet Ryan thinks to himself ‘I wish I were a volunteer sheriff on the weekends’.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You should tell him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Kay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um… Oscar’s kind of cute.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ooh, Toby!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I forgot what a super, nice girl Katy is. And just… good for Jim! They are so cute together. And, um, what an adorable car.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I like fire drills. You know what’s the greatest? Like, when you were in school and the teacher would let you have class outside.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, it was great because it was like you’re supposed to be working, but nothing ever gets done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[chuckling]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’re not stuck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey… Happy Halloween. Jan called.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[entering] You wanted me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[notices Michael’s costume] Papier-mache?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Why did you put it off until Halloween?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I think it’s gonna put a damper on the party a little.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So it’s a man?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I just answer the phone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’re costume is fantastic! [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh no, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t. [Michael laughs] Aah! [laughs, then leaves] Okay…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay, greatest strength.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "A dog-like obedience to authority", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "But that doesn’t sound good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "He’s a gun nut.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I made brownies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "… What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I made brownies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m guessing Angela’s the one in the neighborhood who gives the trick-or-treaters some toothbrushes. Pennies. Walnuts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[on phone] Dunder-Mifflin. This is Pam. [listens] Uh, yeah. [snaps her fingers in the air, getting Jim’s attention] Just one second. I will, uh, transfer you to our manager, Michael Scott.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jim is really talented. And he should be the one who’s getting a better job offer. Like, for real.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Don’t take this the wrong way, but… you should go for that job.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, but I mean, look at the salary. And it’s definitely a step up. And a challenge.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jim…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What happened?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh. That was like crazy. ‘Cause I was…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, hey, Jim. Wait, stop. Um, I’m sorry… for pushing you towards Cumberland. Seriously, if you left here, I would blow my brains out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t really have any control over that Stanley.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael tends to procrastinate a bit whenever he has to do work. Umm, time cards, he has to sign these every Friday. Purchase orders have to be approved at the end of every month. And expense reports, all he has to do is initial these at the end of every quarter. But once a year, it all falls on the same Friday and that’s today. I call it the Perfect Storm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Umm, I put stickers so you know where to sign.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s just last year you…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, the last pick-up for overnight deliveries is at seven. So you need to have them signed by then. Or much earlier.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, is that really a priority?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[Reading Jim’s palm] You’re major and minor lines cross at a ridge – that sucks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I am just following the website.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes, you have very nice teeth.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Could you practice on the forms?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "French Onion?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I just have a quick question.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, it’s not that. Um, I was just wondering, since I’m probably going to have to stay late, could you ask Dwight to stay late too so he can walk me to my car?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "He’s a purple belt. That’s really high.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s just out there, you…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, look closer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Once point for me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, you’re dead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, put me down. Put me down. [Meredith turns and looks at Jim and Pam] Oh my god, hey, put me down. Hey…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, you too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "The shipping place closes in a half hour.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "This is what you had Ryan do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, what about the other stuff that has to be in today?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wait, are those Michael’s Levis?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael and his jeans. He gets in them, and I’m not exactly sure what happens. But I can tell you, he loves the way he looks in those jeans. I know that’s why he started casual Fridays.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[to Ryan] I’ll take those. Thanks. [throws jeans under her desk]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What is going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh my God, I win! Ok, it was a minor league hockey game. He brought his brother, and when I went to the bathroom, the game ended and they forgot about me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, they had to come back for me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Umm… it was not that long ago.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[to Michael on speakerphone] Ok, you want me to read ’em?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok. Um, a fisherman is walking down Fifth Avenue walking an animal behind him-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "When-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok. There’s a transcript between a naval ship-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sure. There’s a transcript between a naval ship and a lighthouse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It is a screenplay. Starring himself.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Of the FBI.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, uh, I have to work late.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Here’s what we think happened. Michael’s sidekick, who all through the movie is this complete idiot who’s causing the downfall of the United States, was originally named Dwight. But then Michael changed it to Samuel L. Chang using a search and replace, but that doesn’t work on misspelled words, leaving behind one Dwigt. And Dwight figured it out. Oops.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "For the bugs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes… nice! I can’t remember the last time someone made me dinner.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What are you going to do with your time off?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[points to Jim’s iPod] You have new music?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What!?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, I don’t know… [Jim laughs, phone rings] Oh my God. This is Jan’s cell.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Why might some say that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We didn’t dance.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Swaying isn’t dancing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have some faxes to get out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hmm…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t know, I think I was just staring at my desk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, do you mind leaving?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s very important.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh! So close to retirement.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I sincerely doubt it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s performance review day, company-wide. Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were, and it ended with him telling me he could bench-press 190 pounds. So, I don’t really know what to expect.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, just off the top… I think she’ll be here this afternoon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "She missed you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have one idea of what it means.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well I don’t think you’re gonna be very happy with this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Because she’s conflicted. She has to be professional, but she’s fighting feelings… for you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, just cause, that, you work together, and it might be awkward.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael and Jan definitely made out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Maybe more.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, yea!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jan’s on the phone for you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What suggestion box?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, yeah. Uh, I think I remember that from back from when I first started.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh my God, did you see “The Apprentice” last night?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Can you believe who Trump fired?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You didn’t see it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, it’s time for the suggestion box meeting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You told me to buzz you about the suggestion box meeting when Jan was here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Everyone’s waiting in the conference room.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Do you think Michael and Jan actually…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How do you come back from that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I mean doing that with Michael. How do you come back from that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "As a human being.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[Jim bows to Pam; she bows back] Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "He sees it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, my God. When Dwight said no one wants to come in on a Saturday…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I almost lost it. That was too good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You mean yesterday’s paper.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[whispers to Jim] Hey. Something just happened. Dwight just told Angela that she has to deleted all of her sensitive e-mails immediately.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Do you think that they’re like-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, right, no, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uhhh, ew, ew, ew… Maybe?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s like squishing a spider under a book. It’s gonna be really gross but I have to look and make sure that it’s really dead. Sooo… [to camera guys] If you guys see anything… ?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Dwight, um, my friend is kinda into these two girls that he works with.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "One is tall and brunette, and the other one is short, and blonde, and perky, and kinda judgmental. Who do you think he should choose?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ummmm…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Angela-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How’s it going?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Listen, are you bringing anyone to Jim’s party tonight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No. I mean, I don’t know, I don’t think so.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "The professors would go to the parties?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[to cameraman] What? [looks at Dwight eating a Baby Ruth] Ohhhh… Yes! Thank you!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really? That’s great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Maybe we can get him to hide and wait somewhere.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, no, he can’t make it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Definitely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jim’s bedroom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Cool… This is your desk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Your home office?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Down. You have to sit down so I can get the full effect.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok, wait, so that would make me [walks to side of room] like right here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "And Dwight would be like-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Umm, [gasps] yearbook!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[finds Jim’s picture] Ooooohhh no!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You were so dorky!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey Phyllis, come here for a second.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Have you heard anything about any secret office romances?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s ok. It’s ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, yeah I gave that up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, it turns out I was, um, just grasping at straws.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Just because two people are hanging out, it doesn’t mean that they’re together, you know? Like people can just be friends. And I think that it was really unfair to think that there was anything else going on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Michael, accounting needs your approval on-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hi!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We were supposed to go to the barbeque at Jim’s house.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uhh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I might be late.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[to the cameraman] Did I miss anything?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You do realize that we can’t serve liquor at the party.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I think the tree looks nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[opens up her present] Oh, my god! Thank you very much, Santa, whoever you are. It’s awesome.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, we call it White Elephant.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’ll take the iPod.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I want the iPod.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, I mean, it’s an iPod. But ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sorry, I ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Maybe because you hated her present so much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How much?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know. It’s totally going to change the way I work out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So what are you going to get me instead?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[laughs] No, I was just checking out my present. [holds up teapot]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I traded with Dwight. Just, I figured, you know, you went to a lot of trouble and it means a lot. And also, Roy got me an iPod or was going to get me an iPod, so ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[opens teapot] Oh my god! The yearbook picture!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, I think I made the right choice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, my God! It’s incredible. [Jim reaches and steals his card back before she can notice it] Is this the Boggle timer?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Do you want me to help you with that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Are you kidding?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Just let us open up the presents, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It was supposed to be for Meredith, ’cause she said she likes my drawings.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sorry. What do I want? What do I want… Oh, it’s a pencil cup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, I don’t think so, I just bought it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I love these.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Last week, Michael sent out this mysterious memo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "A ski mask and a swimsuit.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "And brush our teeth.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How about the anchor?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I think you’re thinking of The Hunt for Red October.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I’m not going to do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, why don’t we find like a quieter place to hang out?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s getting kind of rowdy down there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sometimes I just don’t get Roy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I mean, I don’t know. So… what’s it like dating a cheerleader?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m cold.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, I’ve been engaged for three years, and there’s no end in sight. So… you don’t wanna ask my advice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, no, I want my mom and dad to be there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How about the anchor?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’ve been to the lake before?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes, you should have.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Love you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, what’s wrong?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok, wait wait wait wait…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, do you need me to call an ambulance?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wait a second, I thought you said that you were hurt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[exasperated]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, I have to stay here and answer the phone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, is, um, sick and he wants one of us to rescue him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, why don’t you call your girlfriend?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What was that?! [everyone runs to Michael’s office window]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ohhhhhh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh my gosh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Is he ok?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You missed two big conference calls today, one with corporate.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I didn’t mention that you cooked your foot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You didn’t have any.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "And do my job?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s just that before, you said that you didn’t want any special treatment.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Do you want some aspirin, because you seem a little fussy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’ve seen one of these?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Roy gave it to me for Christmas. I’m trying to figure out how to put songs on it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh! Ha, haha.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Pan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[phone rings] What.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Tell me before I come there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That is so cool. Thanks Dwight!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh God no, Dwight isn’t my friend… Oh my God! Dwight’s kind of my friend!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, he’s actually been really nice and helpful.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wow…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight, you have your hand up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight, here, let me help you Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Get up, get up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I just want to say goodbye ok?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes, I know, but it’s gonna be different.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 38 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s just hard to explain.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 40 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh my goodness!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 42 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Come here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 44 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh my God, what is going on, is Dwight ok?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I can’t believe he’s getting a CAT scan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really? Michael went in with him?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok, that’s uh, good news [Pam sees Angela eavesdropping] Uh, yeah, no I’ll let you go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok. Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Oscar?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I just wanted to let you that Dwight’s gonna be ok. The doctor said there’s a really simple treatment for a concussion, so he’ll probably even be back at work tomorrow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I just, uh, thought you’d want to know that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, I can not believe I fell for that. [laughing] Oh, my God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I bought my veil.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ummm…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok. I was thinking about wearing it down. Kind of like, I don’t know, like loose with big curls and…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s a communal bowl.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sick, like lots of sniffling. I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Umm. How many different ways are there to sniffle?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok, it was the second one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Nuh-uh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What did you guys talk about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I hate you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Did you find anything good in your desk?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Score.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Big day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I know, like, I kind of like, I thought that maybe you did when I first started.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I mean, just ’cause we like got along so well.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So are you going to be like totally awkward around me now?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mmm, hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, here’s your schedule for next week. Are you okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, no, that’s, you don’t have to.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, really, it’s okay. I know that Jim had, like a crush on me when he first started. But that was a long time ago, so.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jim had a crush on me on the booze cruise or he told you about it on the booze cruise?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No thanks. You got a package.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, Pam plus Spam plus…?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It was great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mm-hm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Roy and I just got back from the Poconos. I get ten vacation days a year, and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible, and this year I got to the third week in January.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[looking at pile on Michel’s carpet] Oh… I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I don’t think it’s a bird.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Open the door up!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thanks!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "A little.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[giggles at Roy]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’re gonna throw my things on the ground?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[to Roy in Jim’s earshot] …back so soon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, that’s right. We could do a three-day weekend. I wonder if I could, like, call in sick on the Friday. Then I get a four-day weekend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[to Roy as Jim escapes into bathroom] Are you kidding?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Somebody did something bad to Michael’s carpet. Maybe that’s all we need to know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That doesn’t seem fair.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What’s our punishment?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[voicemail message for Jim] Hey, Jim. It’s Pam. I keep looking up to say something to you and then Michael’s there and it’s horrible. Anyway, I’m bored. Come back!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[voicemail message for Jim] Hey, guess what? I moved my computer so I can’t see Michael’s head. It’s working. I think I can have a career as a very specific type of decorator.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[voicemail message for Jim] Sudoku. Level moderate. 18 minutes. Suck on that, Halpert.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[voicemail message for Jim] I’ll transfer you. Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Hold, please. Dunder Mifflin, this is … okay, sorry. Michael was standing at my desk, and I needed to be busy or who knows what would’ve happened, so thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[voicemail message for Jim] Hey, what’s that word we made up when you have a thing stuck in your shoe? Anyway, I have a thing stuck in my shoe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[voicemail message for Jim] Hey, I have a chance to sneak out of here early, and I’m not messing this up, so I’ll see you tomorrow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[voicemail message for Jim] Calling from my cell phone. I don’t know if you guys figured out who did that to Michael’s carpet yet, but I have a theory that involves an inter-departmental conspiracy. Everybody in the office. We need to talk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Today’s a ‘women in the workplace’ thing. Jan’s coming in from Corporate to talk to all the women about… um… I don’t really know what. But Michael’s not allowed in. She said that about five times.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael’s still at the door.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mmmhmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t know how I fit in with these women. Here. Or with Jan. Um… I mean we get along great. Fine. Um… I guess the person I have the most in common with is…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well… I always dreamed of a house with a terrace upstairs. Plant flowers on it… stuff like that. Since I was a girl. Um… More seriously though, a husband that I love… Roy. And I love to draw. And I… I did a little in college and I’d still love to do something where I could work with art or graphic design in some way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well… I have a job right now, so I can’t really take time off…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well… it’s just that the weekends aren’t good because, um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How’s it going down there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Good. We watched a video about our changing bodies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No. [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Almost.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um… but hey? Something kind of cool. There’s this internship in graphic design that Jan was telling us about. She made it sound, like, really great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s really cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dreams are just that. They’re dreams. They help get you through the day. Like the thing about the terrace. It’s nice but… um… I don’t know. It was just something I read in this book when I was twelve. The girl in the book has a terrace outside of her bedroom and she planted flowers on it and I just loved that. Just always kind of stuck with me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How did you know?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Just like no big reason. Just a bunch of little reasons.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Roy’s right. There’s no guarantee it’s going to lead to anything anyway.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What? You have something you want to say?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, excuse me! I’m fine with my choices!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s impractical. I’m not going to try to get a house like that. Um… they don’t even make houses like that in Scranton. So, I’m never going to… .", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. Uh… hold, please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You did?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How about that one?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I really like Valentine’s Day in this office. It’s kinda like grade school. Everybody gives out little presents and stuff. Like last year, Jim gave me this card, with Dwight’s head on it, it was horrifying and funny and…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[Delivery man enters with a bouquet of red roses. Pam stands up to look at card.] Phyllis.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Roy and I are saving for the wedding, so I made him promise not to get me anything too big.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s OK.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Guess what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s great. [Meredith scowls]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "OH, Holy God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You can’t fire me, Dwight, just ’cause Michael’s not here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You need to get something for your girlfriend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Tightly wound?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok, well, sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like what it means, instead of what it is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, not like a ham. It’s about doing something, so that the person knows that you really care about her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That you remember her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[delivering plant to Oscar’s desk] Oscar.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[walks away] Join the club.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I guess, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Nothing, it’s just I had to sit here all day, while Phyllis got like an entire garden delivered to her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I mean, I know that we said no big gifts, but I was kind of hoping you’d get me something for Valentine’s Day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Heading out?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Bye. [Jim leaves]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Night Phyllis.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael’s got a few tricks for Valentine’s Day. He found a place where you can get 12 plastic roses for $10 and he’s got a great line. “Me so thorny.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You have any big Valentine’s Day plans, Kev?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Where is she?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m gonna spend it with my fiance.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What are you guys doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Are you sad that Dwight beat you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Are you going to cry, Jim? Do you need a tissue?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh! I… uh… yeah. Um… I’ll uh show them to you later.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ok, cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have a ton of stuff to do for the wedding. And I have to do it in the office. And that can be kind of awkward. Um… just because people can get all weird about wedding stuff. Then… I just… I don’t want to offend… Angela… or someone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mom, I’m sorry. I know you and Dad are chipping in for the wedding but I do not want orange invitations. Yes! Well, if you really want my…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Do we know anyone who was in the accident?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You mean Toastmasters?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, the bride doesn’t really do… Have you ever been to a wedding?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Roy has a connection. It’s nicer than you think.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Of course. He’s one of my closest friends.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Maybe we’ll use a DJ. That’s the one thing Roy’s in charge of for this wedding but all he’s managed to do is set a date.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ryan, you should be more sensitive. It’s obvious she likes you and comments like that, they just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Australia? I have always wanted to go there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s awesome. Where are you staying?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "When are you leaving?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh yeah. That’s too bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s ok. I got it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes, but they are both in danger.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "The ones that say “love” on them?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh. Doesn’t matter.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "As soon as they leave, well get Kelly and start.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Is that okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m looking forward to ‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ day. I am not great with kids, but I wanna get better. Because I’m getting married. So, I put out a bunch of extra candy out on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. …Like the witch in Hanzel and Gretel.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, I have more. [Holds up bags of candy]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, Michael. You can’t be nasty today. [whispering] ‘Cause of the… [points to ‘Welcome Daughters!’ sign]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I reminded you last night.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Don’t you think you should say something?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, I think that as the boss you should really—", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Abby! Do you want to help me shred some old documents? It’s actually pretty cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I only have one goal today. To make one kid like me. Just one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That is!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "He’s not coming out. He won’t pick up the phone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So, Melissa… I met your mom a couple times. She’s so nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mmhmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You’re welcome.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s not too bad. I get to shred things sometimes, do you want to see?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay. Um… here it is. Don’t put your fingers in there. [shreds paper] Cool huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, I get to do this like, every week.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I think he thought his ukulele skills would transfer. [Jim leaves]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "My theory is that… [Jim signals he’s leaving, waves bye to Pam]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I like extra cheese, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah. Do you like to draw, Abby?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Me, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay. It’s been a little more tiring than I thought.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Happy birthday Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I said happy birthday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "One’s good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael wants a strippergram?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, I have Jan on the line.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I can sign for it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "When does he hear?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ohh… poor Kevin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "If I knew I had a week to live, I would… probably go to Europe. And South America. And the Grand Canyon. And… I would want to see the Pacific Ocean. …It would be a pretty busy week.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "…I feel like we should go get Kevin something. Do you think we can sneak out of here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sixty-nine cup of noodles.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "And his favorite lunch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You use fabric softener?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[checking watch] We should probably head back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You dare me? How old are you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[over loudspeaker, imitating Darth Vader] Luke, this is your father. Come set the table for dinner.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[loudspeaker] Jim Halpert? Price check on fabric softener, the kind that gives you…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh I’m sorry. I’m sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I hate you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No. [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Who is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I got it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "This is from all of us.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael’s birthday was actually pretty cool. It was a good day. I don’t know… It was a good day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[laughs] Jim does the best impressions. Sometimes he’ll look up at me from his desk and he’ll just be someone else. Like he’ll go um, [makes mournful face, giggles] that’s supposed to be Phyllis. I can’t do it as good as he can.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "He does everyone in the office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jinx! Buy me a coke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, no, no, no talking. Jim is not allowed to talk until after he buys me a coke. Those are the rules of jinx, and they are unflinchingly rigid. [Jim puts money in drink machine, selection is sold out]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sold out? That has never happened in the history of jinx.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sorry, that’s not my problem.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey guys, what’s going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, okay. Well, Michael wants to see everyone in the conference room. [Jim shakes his head. Seems relieved to be getting away from Kelly] But you know what? We have a few minutes so you guys should definitely finish up your conversation. [Jim nods his head as if to say, “Gee, thanks, Pam.”]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know that Jim has an amazing story about a relative of his who got caught up in the world of drugs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, hmmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wow! He really pulled out the big guns. Fake crying. Did not expect that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What? [Jim shakes his head] Did you want to tell me something? You look like you want to tell me something. [Jim shakes his head no] You look like you have something really important to say and you just can’t for some reason. [Jim smiles] Come on, you can tell me. Jim, you can tell me anything. [Jim stops smiling and looks down. Pam wonders what that means]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[placing a coke can in front of Jim] Here. [Jim looks confused] Just buy it from me. I haven’t talked to you in hours and it’s been weird and I really want to know what the hell’s going on with Dwight. [Pam scoots the coke can towards Jim. Jim pulls out his wallet and hands Pam a dollar. He gives the coke back to Pam]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ten minutes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Kevin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Do someone else.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Angela.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "The eyebrow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Last night? Let’s see.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I won’t. It’s just that last night is really hard for me to remember because I was just a teensy bit high. Should I have not said that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know that I shouldn’t have done it. But I was in the parking lot at the Quick and Easy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "And I took a bong hit from my Bong Water with my pimp.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Has she been on the phone the whole time?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[reading from Michael’s flier] “Drugs:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[telephone ringing] Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. Um, hold, please. [to Jim] There’s a Brenda on the phone for you. [to Brenda] Just one second, I’ll transfer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, thanks!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "There are a few people I decided not to invite, and that might make things kind of awkward but … it’s my wedding. And I don’t want anyone there who has called me a hussy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Win!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How about, Angela can keep it up on Tuesdays and Thursdays?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Win.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Win", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Angela.[hands her a Save The Date card] I didn’t have your zip code.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[notices Angela’s intense concern] Um… let’s move on. I volunteer. Did anyone have a problem with me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wait, what did it say?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have this kind of big secret about Angela. And I’ve been really nice to her… and I haven’t told anyone. And what the hell?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[gets up and walks over to Angela, whispering to her] Hey. Thanks for ratting me out!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I find that hard to believe… considering you have problems with every single person in this entire office except Bobblehead Joe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I can’t believe Angela. I went against my better judgment, and I gave her a Save The Date. And now it turns out she complained about me to Toby.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Don’t take her side.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t know. I try not to bother him about this kind of stuff.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Angela, I want to talk to you about something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[looks at to Jim] I am. [looks at Angela] It’s about the Save The Date.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[telephone ringing] Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. Hold, please. Dwight, it’s the Sheriff. He said that it’s really important. It’s regarding your desk. I’ll transfer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s not bad. Hey, do you do weddings?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s a nice tux.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Come on, it’ll be fun, and besides, I’m a roulette expert.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, they stopped making that show.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, that’s Afghan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "They’re wedding bands.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Roy was supposed to pick the band, but he’s concentrating more on the bachelor party now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "There’s a KISS cover band in here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m pretty happy these days. I’m getting married soon and I’m getting along with everybody at work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I think I should hire them all. Do like Lollapalooza.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Have three stages, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, wait. That’s Kevin. On the drums.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "On the drums! On the drums!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, my…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No! No!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, come back! No, no, no!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Jim is great. Being with him just takes away all the stress of planning my wedding.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[phone rings] Michael, Carol Stills for you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Carol Stills.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Your realtor.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s still me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sometimes I don’t put Michael through until he’s already said something. I look at it as a practice run for him. He usually does better on the second attempt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Carol, you’re on with Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, Jan’s on line two.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s still me. Uh, Jan, here’s Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[People playing casino games as the actual Casino Night begins] Oh, my God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "“Yeah, right,” what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[Laughs] I have good cards.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mhmm, And I’m gonna take you all-in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Straight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s okay. I’ll see you at home.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Bye! Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Good, especially after I took all your money in poker.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "About when you want to give me more of your money?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Did you wanna do that now? We can go inside. I’m feeling kind of good tonight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, I um… I… I can’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You have no idea…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "…what your friendship means to me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I can’t. I’m really sorry if you misinterpreted things. It’s probably my fault.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[On phone] About 10 minutes ago. No, I didn’t know what to say. Yes, I know. Um, I don’t know, mom, he’s my best friend. Yeah, he’s great. Yeah, I think I am. [Jim enters] I have to go. I will. Listen, Jim… [They kiss]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Apparently Michael has come up with a Dunder Mifflin Mad Lib, and he’s making us play it with him. We are so happy. No. I’d like to choose a different adjective.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It is extremely stressful, planning a wedding by yourself. It’s like a job. I mean, it’s fun, but it kind of becomes like work. I’ve already planned it all out in my head. But it’s just in my head.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Me too. …I think we’re just drunk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No… [Jim leans in for another kiss] Jim—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[loud sigh] Chicken.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Excellent, thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, I didn’t go through with the wedding. I got cold feet, a few days before. And I can’t really explain it. I just had to get out of that relationship. We still had to pay for all the food. So we froze it. But I’m, I’m doing well. I have my own apartment. I’m taking art classes. And I have lunch for the next five weeks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, Dwight’s looking at gay pornography on his computer.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m… painting my new apartment tonight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What do I think? I think everybody should stay out of everybody’s personal business!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I didn’t.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What was Oprah about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s a really big decision.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Maybe you should wait before you adopt.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Or not adopt.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Roy’s sister looked into it, and the application alone costs a thousand dollars.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You know, she also said the waiting list is like eight months.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You probably won’t.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "This.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes, I have a date. He’s a cartoonist for the local paper, which is really neat, because I like to draw too. I’m kind of nervous. I haven’t been on a first date in nine years… probably shouldn’t broadcast that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’ll probably just wear this.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mm-hmm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey! What’s up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[answering phone] Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. He’s not in the office. Can I take a message? I will. You too. [hangs up] Sorry. What’s up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay. Well, if you think of it, I’ll be here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So how do you come up with your cartoons?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You dream in cartoons? How fun!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Huh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Freedom fries. Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, it was, uh, it was really nice meeting you, Alan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "More freedom fries.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s great.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I went on a date. It wasn’t a love connection, um… I think when I like someone again, I’ll just kinda know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[walking in with a tray of six popcorn bags] Popcorn anyone?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[with five popcorn bags left] Anyone else? Nooo.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Movie Monday started with training videos, but we went through those pretty fast. Then we watched a medical video. Since then, it’s been half hour installments of various movies, with the exception of an episode of Entourage, which Michael made us watch six times.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[on the phone] Hey Kelly, my stuff just got here. [Kelly screams with excitement into the phone and Pam has to take it away from her ear]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Kelly really likes to online shop. Soooo, I felt like I wanted some new clothes. I mean, I just, I wanted to, it just, I felt like it was time, to maybe um… just get new clothes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[pulling her new shirt out of a box] Ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really? I don’t know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Not at work, I’ll try it on—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "…noooo", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[smiling] It’s too much.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m gonna return it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have this little vacuum cleaner that’s broken. If Dwight doesn’t work out, maybe that could be manager.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Please go back to your desk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, I remember why I dress the way I do at work. But I’m gonna keep the clothes. I mean, it’ll be cool to just have some after work clothes that aren’t pajamas.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. … Uh, sure, I’ll get him for you. [to Michael] It’s Jan for you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I may have a few weeks ago faked a call from Jan in order to get out of a synopsis of, I think it was, Navy: NCIS. Since then, Michael’s been suspicious.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey Michael, would you get me some coffee from the warehouse?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "But the warehouse coffee tastes SO much better.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[after Michael returns with coffee] With cream and sugar?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "The news that you just announced? That Ed died?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Is there anything I can do?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh. Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[extricating herself] Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh. I would like a break.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Great.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I think so. I don’t know, I was mainly focused on the cup holders.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You waited for me?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Let’s see. I had an aunt that I was really close to. She was this amazing female boxer. Um, anyway, she was injured in a fight, and she was paralyzed. So, you can imagine how upset I was when I found out that she asked her manager to remove her breathing tube so she could die.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Is it for the bird?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have it covered. [hands Dwight a decorated box]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "If you wanna do something for the funeral…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Maybe you could play a song on your recorder.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Do you have it with you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Did I wake up this morning thinking I’d be throwing together a bird funeral? You never can tell what your day here is gonna turn into.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Actually, I have it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’d also like to say a few words if that’s okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What do we know about this bird? You might think, “Not much. It’s just a bird.” But we do know some things. We know it was a local bird. Maybe it’s that same bird that surprised Oscar that one morning with a special present from above.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "And we know how he died. Flying into the glass doors. But you know what? I don’t think he was being stupid. I think he just really, really wanted to come inside our building to spread his cheer and lift our spirits with a song.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "An impression, then. Lastly, we can’t help but notice that he was by himself when he died, but of course, we all know that doesn’t mean he was alone. Because I’m sure that there were lots of other birds out there who cared for him very much. He will not be forgotten.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[singing] Just smile for me and let the day begin. You are the sunshine that lights my heart within… on the wings of love …", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, I will be spending the entire afternoon in grief counseling for someone I’ve never met.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Closer to the epicenter, I guess.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wow, I thought that was supposed to be, like, next month.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, I’d love to see them. Oh, and tell them I say, “Congratulations.”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I should probably head back in.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "But, umm, thanks for the break.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael once told me that Home Alone is the saddest movie ever. When I asked him why, he said, “Because the whole family forgets the kid at home. There is nothing funny about that.”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, I don’t know if I’m…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s weird. Jan use to treat Michael like he was a ten year old, but lately it’s like he’s five.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Once a year they bring in a little cart and they give away free pretzels. It’s really not a big deal. To some people it is.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Great! I thought you could use this time to authorize some checks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, why don’t you just go up to your office, get some work done, and I’ll just bring you a pretzel.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You know, I just think it’s really important that you be productive today.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Did you have a lot of sugar today, Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Oh, hi Jan. He’s, uh, on a sales call. No message? Bye, Jan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Night.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "20 past 5.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "PM.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "These came for you. Contracts? Brent Koselli?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "This is a huge sale.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Night, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[phone rings] Dunder Mifflin.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh my God.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I had to work late. Jan’s making me keep a log of everything Michael does all day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, totally. So…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Do you…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, no, I um. Everything’s pretty much the same here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "A little different. What time is it there?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, yeah. Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t know. It felt far.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I type 90.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 38 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s true.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 40 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "70? How many do you type?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 42 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Come on. Tell me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 44 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You have to tell me now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 46 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, it’s, that’s respectable.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 48 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So ok. I’m watching the movie, by myself…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Because I just wanted a relaxing evening at home…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "And, I’m freaking out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That movie is so scary!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "But I’m holding on because I keep waiting for Sandra Bullock to show up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Because I got it at Blockbuster and they don’t put the pictures on the box.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Would I make that up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, yeah, in my fancy new apartment. I have one bedroom, one bathroom, and a closet.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I have one kitchen.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s actually…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Three kitchens?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[Ryan and Dwight enter] Hey, Ryan, are you ok?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um. Ok, bye.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I was um…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You have to go?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I should probably go too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I mean, yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Bye Jim.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s like mommy and daddy are fighting. Except mommy outranks daddy and mommy is way scarier.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight is taking Ryan on a sales call today. So if we find Ryan’s body in a heavily-wooded area tomorrow, I owe Jim $30. It’s an old bet, but a deal’s a deal.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really you do. I love the material.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I actually might not go. Feeling kind of tired.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I just feel kind of tired, you know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Maybe. I just …I don’t really have anyone to go with.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Very official.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I decided to come. Uh… I feel a little under-dressed… but at least I’m not dressed like a slutty cheerleader, right? Is that mean?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Can you believe my boss proposed to his girlfriend in public? That is so Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah. Hey, would you excuse me for a second?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s hot in there. How’s the naan?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I am. You should come dance with us.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No one.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Here. [hands drink]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh… no.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, you were never really engaged.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I kind of thought something would happen tonight too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What are you doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m rejecting your…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "…kiss.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "If you sit in the back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You say one more word; I’m stopping the car.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[on phone] Michael, you’re on with Jan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Your shirt is buttoned wrong.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Are you okay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What did Jan want?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What can’t you tell me?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You just said that we’re gonna be gone…?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, what’s going on?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s a blessing in disguise. Actually, not even in disguise. Sometimes at home, I answer the phone, “Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.” So, maybe that’ll stop now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, good… you’re bringing Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "He’s not here. I don’t know where he is.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Is it because of Michael? Did he actually do something?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Sure, uh, Jan… um, do you know, is anyone coming back to Scranton?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Coming to Scranton. Is anyone coming to Scranton?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I guess some new people might be coming from Stamford. Should be fun. New blood.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s, um… I hadn’t thought about it, huh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, that might be weird. Overall though, we still all have our jobs… so, good news, right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No thanks, guys.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Have fun though.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really? Where did you hear that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, me too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Maybe this is good. Finding another job is a pain. There’s another annoying boss, another desk, I’d have to learn everything all over again. So, there are reasons to stay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "How’d the run go?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s great!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Because he accomplished something.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really, Dwight? How fast are you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, I’ll just time him later.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah. Are you ready?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Set", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Go!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Am I being mean to Dwight? I don’t know. I did just make him run around the building and I have no intention of timing him. This isn’t even a stopwatch. It’s a digital thermometer. He does make my life harder, sometimes. And on purpose. Like he tried to put meters on the bathroom stalls as a way of bringing in more money for the company. [yells to Dwight] Hey, three more laps to go. Gotta pick it up if you’re going to beat Toby.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I should probably get back to work.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Good morning!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yes! I’m in a good mood today! I’m excited to meet all the new people and to see my old friend again, definitely. That’s always a thing that makes people happy… to have an old friend back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hi!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I’m Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, thanks. My Mom made it for me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh my god! It’s really you!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know. I don’t care.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s really good to see you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You won’t be disappointed.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What happened to grape soda?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh. You’ve changed so much.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So when do I get to hear everything? Are you still getting unpacked or… you want to grab a coffee or something after work?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, yeah, no! You know. Whenever.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah. I know, me too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "The day’s going fine. It’s been a little chaotic but it’s fine. It’s great! A lot of distractions. But, it’s good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh… no. I just uh had some other stuff I had to do.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What’s up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What do you mean?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh. That’s totally cool. You can do whatever you want.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We’re friends. We’ll always be friends.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s good to have you back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "This is weird with you facing the other way.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s Stanley Hudson.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "He’s one of our salesmen.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh very.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hmm, that is… Janet Fenstermaker.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[Pam nods head] You should say hi. Use her full name.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Uh, that is Creed Bratton. He has four toes and he fought in the Civil war.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "For both sides. Whoever paid more.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ohhhh! She’s absolutely adorable!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "…Oh, sorry. He’s–he’s dressed all in pink.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "…Oh. That’s… fun for him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[whispering] Who is it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Why would anyone go to jail for that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Okay. Angela?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "My dad.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What was prison like?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, some days I never go outside.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "They have art classes?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Kinda sounds like… prison’s… better than Dunder-Mifflin.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wow… I–", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wow. That was… wow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, it’s freezing out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Prison Mike? What was the food like in prison?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Wow. Thank you. Um, that must have been hard for you to relive that. Both of you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Merry Christ–[looks up] NO! Why… why did you bring that here?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Dwight, what uh…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well, get it out of here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I would like it off my desk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Can I help you, Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It’s behind you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[hands over bag] I didn’t, it’s from corporate.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Psst. Jim. [Jim turns around. Pam nods head towards her for him to come over] Um, hey. I need to give you your Christmas gift now because, well, I’ll just tell you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "For the past few months I’ve been sending Dwight letters from the CIA. [hands a folder to Jim]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "They’re considering him for a top secret mission. There’s his application. Oh, and this is where I made him list every secret he promised he’d never ever tell.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "So… here’s the gift. You get to decide what his top secret mission is. [Jim smiles] Sorry I didn’t wrap it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, I get it, of course. OK. [holds out hand for folder. Jim gives Pam back the folder.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Michael, what’s going on?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "OK, well, why are you laying like that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Like what?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Well.. um I, I don’t…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I don’t need to know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "No, thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I feel like I’ve been kinda cold to Karen and there’s no real reason for it. I mean it’s not like she’s ever done anything to me. So, I think I probably shouldn’t be cold to her.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hey, Karen. Sorry about that meeting today, that was really crazy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, usually like that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I think one of her cats did once. She came in with scratches all over her face. [both laugh]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Um, I really liked your karaoke idea.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That could really be fun.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You guys do a raffle?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "There is now. We just started it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What’s ours again?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Right, and if you’re interested in the way more fun party, all the info can be found here on our more brightly colored flyer. [Angela rips down brightly colored flyer and walks away. Karen rips down Angela’s flyer.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You can’t do that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "That’s a great idea.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "You can have your snack in here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "If you’re using more than three pieces of tape to wrap a present, you’re doing it wrong.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, I just get those at any party supply place.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh yeah, your mom would love that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Bye.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Oh, yeah… Maybe.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Hello everyone. We would just like to announce that our party is starting now in the break room. So… you can come by… .", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Our party is also starting now [opens door to break room.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Good choice. [Kelly drags Ryan to the break room.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We have vodka!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "I got goose bumps.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Can I talk to you a second?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "[holds up rice krispie shaped like a star] In the name of Nutcracker Christmas.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Yeah, but we don’t have a power cord.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Mmm. Hmm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We’ll go tell everyone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Night.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "We should get him a bus ticket. [types on computer] To make his trip easier.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "It costs seventy five dollars.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam", + "text": "Ohh… [laughs]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "dwight": [ + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[singing] Shall I play for you? Pa rum pump um pum [Imitates heavy drumming] I have no gifts for you. Pa rum pump um pum [Imitates heavy drumming]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Whassup!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Whassup.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just clearing my desk. I can’t concentrate.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s overlapping. It’s all spilling over the edge. One word, two syllables. Demarcation.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You can’t do that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Safety violation. I could fall and pierce an organ.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Downsizing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Downsizing? I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview. I say, bring it on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m Assistant Regional Manager. I should know first.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, um, can you just tell me please? Just tell me quietly. Can you whisper it in my ear?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Please, OK? Do you want me to tell ’em?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK. You tell ’em. With my permission. Permission granted.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Go ahead.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "On his mother’s grave.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pam, information is power.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh… yeah I got a ’78 280Z. Bought it for $1,200. Fixed it up. It’s now worth three grand.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "New engine, new suspension, I got a respray. I’ve got some photos.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Damn it! Jim!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He put my stuff in Jell-O again.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s real professional thanks. That’s the third time and it wasn’t funny the first two times either Jim.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s OK here, but people sometimes take advantage because it’s so relaxed. I’m a volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy on the weekends. And you cannot screw around there. That’s sort of one of the rules.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That is my stapler.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK you know what, you can be a witness. [points to Ryan] Can you reprimand him?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s always you. Are you going to discipline him or not?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, that’s great. I guess what I’m most concerned with is damage to company property. That’s all.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Dwight Schrute. My father’s name, also Dwight Schrute. My grandfather’s name, Dweide Schrude, Amish. That’s my family. I don’t know where they came, the Amish, came from originally. Uh, Amland.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "People respond to the human touch and that’s what I give them. I can look at a client and I can say, “Hello, how are you? How’s business been going?” And we can go back and forth for sometime and uh, then I’ll say, How much, how many reams do you want?” And they’ll order it and then I’ll take care of all the sales. I’ll make sure that they get that paper. And they appreciate that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s fine.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m sorry it makes me nervous.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I understand. It’s in a blind spot because I’m trained in several martial arts and one of them, uh, includes, uh, an awareness that the masters bring, uh, of anything on all sides of you. It could be behind you or whatever. This is directly in a blind spot, so I’m trained to respond negatively to something right above my head. [new take] This now I have an eye on. You see, it’s on my periphery and if I needed to block it, attack it, stop it somehow. [does a martial arts move with his hands] I could come right out. I mean, I know you’re doing your job, but…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m doing my job.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes I do. I should have done it weeks ago actually.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Retaliation. Tit for tit.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, it should be.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I have two. White and Indian.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "A few of the ground rules?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, can we steer away from gay people?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m sorry. It’s an orientation. It’s not a race. Plus a lot of other races are intolerant of gays, so…paradox.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I figured it would save time.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Excuse me, I’m sorry, but that’s not all it takes to be a hero.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "A hero kills people, people that wish him harm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "A hero is part-human and part-supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, or out of a disaster that must be avenged.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "We all have a hero in our heart.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Lots of cultures eat rice, doesn’t help me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Um… Shalom. I’d like to apply for a loan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, do me. Something stereotypical so I can get it really quick.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Outback steakhouse. [Australian accent] I’m Australian, mate!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, man, am I a woman?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am a salesman, okay. And I don’t think we should be doing this during prime sales hours. If you can prove to me that diversity is going to help my sales, I’ll go elephant running with James Earl Jones. I really will, but not on spec.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What you doing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Solitaire is a one-player game. It can’t have two players.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What’s your win rate?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re not allowed to play two-player. You need to start over.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Dunder Mifflin, Michael Scott, Diversity Tomorrow, take four. And action.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Diversity Tomorrow, take five. Action.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Take six.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Action.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And action… Lights, camera, action. Whenever you’re ready.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Cut.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, man, am I a woman?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "God!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s not fair.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you. Thank you very much.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good. [clears throat] So, am I a hunter gather culture?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do I live near a harbor or an ocean?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, I’m an inland. Am I a mountainous?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Am I nomadic?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, okay, okay, okay. I think I got this. Um, I am treated in a foreign way with a great deal of prejudice. Am I one of those tribes in Africa? The piggies, or whatever?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No. But I am, I am human, right? [Pam hesitates]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[Dwight’s new race is ‘Dwight’] I could be French.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[takes his ‘Dwight’ race off his forehead] Damn it, Jim! That’s not funny, Jim!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes. I can do it. I’m your man.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, first, let’s go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, we’ll table that for the time being. Two, I’ll need an office. I think the conference room should be fine.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[to self] Yes, I have an office. [to camera] Bigger than his.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, I take it back, it’s a workspace.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What did I do? I did my job. I slashed benefits to the bone. I saved this company money. Was I too harsh? Maybe. I don’t believe in coddling people.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, “Ow, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion eats me and I’m dead.” Well, I’m not dead. I’m the lion. You’re dead.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, knock, please. Please knock. This is an office.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Same thing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just knock, Please? As a sign of respect for your superior.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh gee, then why do I have an office?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes. And my decision in final.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Aww, times are tough, Pam. Deal with it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Don’t need it. Never been sick. Perfect immune system.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t need them. Superior genes. I’m a Schrute. And superior brain power. Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So I can lower it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s a great plan. It saves the company a fortune.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, you said…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can handle that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, everyone. Gather round. Step forward. It has been brought to my attention that some of you are unhappy with my plan. So what I’d like you to do is to fill this out and write down any diseases you have that you might want covered and I’ll see what I can do.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, well, I didn’t say to write your name down, did I? Fill it out, leave it anonymous. Or, don’t write any disease down at all and it won’t be covered. Sound fair? Good. I’ll be in my office.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Damnit! Damnit Jim!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "All right, who did this? I’m not mad. I just want to know who did it so I can punish them.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, someone forged, uh, medical information and that is a felony.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, leprosy? Flesh eating bacteria. Hot-dog fingers. Government-created killer nanorobot infection.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You did this, didn’t you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes you did.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know it was you. Fine. You know what? I’ll have to interview each and every one of you until the perpetrator makes him or herself known. And until that time, there will be no health care coverage for any one!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won’t receive the care they need, because someone in this office is coming up with all this ridiculous stuff. [reads off of paper] “Count Choculitis”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why did you write that down Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I think you need to confess…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…the fact…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What are you doing? Those are my keys.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim! Damnit! No! Jim! Let me out! Jim! Let… [Without looking, Jim throws his keys to his left, they land on a shelf next to Stanley]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let me out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let me out or you’re fired.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes I can. I’m manager for the day. Clean out your desk.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim! Open the door!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, hello. Uh, this is Dwight Schrute calling for Jan Levenson-Gould.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hi. Dwight Schrute calling, acting manager, Scranton branch. Listen, I needed your permission to fire Jim Halpert.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Dwight Schrute.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He is not here right now. He put me in charge of the office.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s not entirely true, because he put me in charge of picking the health care plan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Call you immediately. Good. Oh, hey, listen, um, since I have you on the phone, um, can I fire Jim?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, this is your cell, I thought this was your… [dial tone]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael. Michael?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I tried being rational, OK? And what happened? The employees went crazy, I got no help from corporate. That leaves me with no options.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m now going to read out loud your submitted medical conditions. When you hear yours read, please raise your hand to indicate that it is real. If you do not raise your hand, it will not be covered.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know what? You have forfeited that privilege. I have tried to treat you all as adults, but obviously I am the only adult here. Number one, inverted penis.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, great. Dermatitis. Thank you Angela. I’ll make sure that’s covered. OK, now. Who wrote this, hysterical one? Anal fissures?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, but no one here has it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I most certainly did not.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, um… Jan wants you to call her.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[heated discussion in the ‘Dwight Schrute Workspace’, door opens] I did not dismiss you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You came into my office voluntarily.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, maybe they won’t get slashed if you answer all my questions.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know when ever a worker is promoted above their peers there’s always going to be a little bit of jealousy. Uh, it’s natural. And that’s going to lead to goofing off and that’s okay that’s fine. As long as they are willing to suffer the consequences.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Psssh, no.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah. Well, have you ever seen the movie Unbreakable? ‘Cause that guy couldn’t get sick, just like me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Unlikely.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "100%.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t think so, no.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wrong. [walks away] Thank you Jim. Kevin. Stanley. [whispering] Pam, Jim, Kevin, Stanley. Pam, Jim, Kevin, Stanley. You finished?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That was… unauthorized.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why do you want health care, Pam? Hmm? Why do you want it?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why don’t you just go ahead and use Roy’s health care plan, huh?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But you’re engaged. Aren’t you and maybe you’ve set a date for the wedding, hmm? And because you know you’re going to get married you don’t have to take our health care plan seriously.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You really expect me to believe you haven’t set a date? I think you have. Sure Pam, sure. But you know what, you’ve been engaged for three years and I know you’ve set a date. And you know what else, I know you’ve got coverage under Roy and I know that you wrote down those fake diseases. Admit it. Admit it, Pam.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You wrote down… I didn’t give you permission to.. I didn’t…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re doing the right thing. Go ahead. What ‘s your confession?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let it out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay. You wanna do this the hard way. We’ll do this the hard way. You wrote down those fake diseases didn’t you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know you did.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, because I want to know who wrote those diseases down.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You want you to take this pen and this piece of paper and write this down. Write this down.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I, Jim Halpert…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…confess to health care fraud.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "One word.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, um… Jan wants you to call her.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael!?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I wanted to talk to you about the downsizing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I, but if there were, I’d be protected as assistant regional manager?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, so I don’t have to worry?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Bottom line. Do I need to be worried?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s a real shame, ’cause studies have shown that more information gets passed through water-cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage, because I bring my own water to work.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I didn’t do it. What do you mean? Oh, the water cooler was brought over here for… maintenance. So what do you guys hear? What’s the scuttlebutt?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, so listen, I was thinking that it might be a good idea if you and I formed an alliance. ‘Cause of the downsizing? I think an alliance might be a good idea, you know. Help each other out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you want to form, an alliance, with me?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good, good. Excellent, OK. Now we need to figure out who’s vulnerable and who’s protected…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Did you get your tickets?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The gun show. [Rolls up his sleeve and kisses his bicep]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "There’s one other thing and this is important. Let’s keep this alliance totally a secret. Don’t tell anyone.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim! Hey. Hi, Pam. Listen, could I talk to you a second about the… paper products?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Did you tell Pam about the alliance?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just now.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Right, that’s good, good, pursue this.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mmm hmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Done.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "They seem awfully chummy, don’t you think?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Only one way to find out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What? I believe it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I could tell, from the body language.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good, let ’em. It helps our cause.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, they’re forming an alliance", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Damn it. God!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "God… Damn it! Why us?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jackpot.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, you wanted to see me?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t think she’d be missed.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Name, Meredith Palmer. Uh, personal information, divorced twice, two kids. Uh, Employer, Dunder Mifflin Paper Incorporated. Awards, multiple Dundies.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "She had a hysterectomy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s where they remove the uterus.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It could be kind of funny.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh my God, we have to be there.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No no, yes there is. Behind the shelves. Oh my God.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know. I know exactly what to do.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer, they have very good vision. One thing about me, I am better at hiding than they are… at vision.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is going to be perfect, OK? Centrally located. Perfect cover. I can hear and see everything.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So tape it down.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Look, I can breathe just fine. OK, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll poke holes in the box.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, you need to go upstairs to the party so people don’t notice we’re both gone.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Can I trust Jim? I don’t know. Do I have a choice? No, frankly, I don’t. Will I trust Jim? Yes. Should I trust Jim? You tell me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[box falls over] Oh.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I have absolutely no idea.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do I feel bad about betraying Jim? Not at all. That’s the game. Convince him we’re in an alliance, get some information, throw him to the wolves.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[With blonde hair] That’s politics baby. Get what you can out of someone, then crush them. I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good, excellent, and file sharing off and done. Security software, 128-bit encryption, firewalls. Get up, I’ll install it on your computer.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pssh, stupid. Identity theft happens all the time. I can become you like that. [snaps fingers] But no one can become me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not true. And if they did, they couldn’t because I’m password protected.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No. [typing on keyboard]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No. [typing on keyboard]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[throwing away a banana, mayonnaise, and a sandwich from the refrigerator, smells the mayonnaise] God. [drinks from the milk carton and puts it back] Mmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It was rotting.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Any employee may dispose a food item…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…that risks contaminating the other food item. Read the official kitchen regulations memo.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, uh, not my problem. Okay, this is a paper factory not a bacteria factory.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, if they don’t bobble, what’s the point?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "God… Damn it! Why us?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[talking over Jim] Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ll stay for ten.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You wanted to see me?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t think she’d be missed.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Name, Meredith Palmer. Uh, personal information, divorced twice, two kids. Uh, Employer, Dunder Mifflin Paper Incorporated. Awards, multiple Dundies.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "She had a hysterectomy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s where they remove the uterus.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It could be kind of funny.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay. Hey Meredith, where’s your uterus?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If I find a joke for you, will you grant me immunity? [cut to Jim holding his hands up like a champion]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "From the downsizing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m only going to ask you this once. Are you part of an alliance?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well played.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, can I talk to you, please? Privately? In your office? I think I should be on the team.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, please.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I apologized for that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, I…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can handle that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And that’s why you have an assistant regional manager.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[to camera] Same thing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s close.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So we need someone to work this Saturday and I think that, that should be…Jim.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Gimli.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just trying to be helpful.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, look. [Dwight throws paper at the garbage can]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Missed it…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Can I be team captain?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Can I be team manager?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Assistant team manager?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 39 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, we’ll see who’s working this weekend then.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 41 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[taking off his shirt] OK, we’ll be skins!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What? Shirts on or off?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You sure?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "De-fense! [clap, clap] [Michael joins in] De-fense! [clap clap]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[scores] Yeah! [points to Madge] In your face!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[scores] Yes!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Here, give me that. You have to break the interior bag. [bag explodes]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, could I talk to you for a second, please?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "In your office? [in Michael’s office] You know that is why you have an assistant regional manager.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[to camera] Same thing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s close.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What look?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Please, have a seat. [Kevin sits down] Okay, why not?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Marching or garage?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I tell you what. You give me a tape of your band and a tape of the Steve Miller Band and I’ll get back to you. That is all.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[eating Tootsie Rolls from Angela’s candy on her desk] Mmm. Good. Mmm.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Would you like to have a vacation this year? That’s what I thought. [continues eating Tootsie Rolls] Mmm, delicious.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim, you’re the new schedule guy, huh?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, I hear that. You know what? This little baby might come in handy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "On one condition. You…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, no it’s not. Okay, check it out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, you’re not because I spent hours on it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, I will. Okay, fine. You’ll be back.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Isn’t that crazy? I’m a Volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy. Lackawanna County says that it’s okay for me to perform CPR, but for Michael my lips aren’t qualified enough for his perfect little face. It’s nuts.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[wearing a face guard] I’ve almost had my nose broken a dozen times.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sex.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Torture.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Cocks in the henhouse.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So am I.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Doesn’t matter.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The purse girl hits everything on my checklist. Creamy skin. Straight teeth. Curly hair. Amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hmmm… she’s been talking to Michael a lot.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Assistant to the Regional Manager.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s true.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "True. Plus I can talk to her about the origins of my last name.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What’s that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t want a purse. Purses are for girls.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Like those?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, I’m just going to use the bathroom, and then I’m going…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s actually better this way.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael could I ask you something? I wanted to ask your permission to ask out Katy. I know it’s against the rules and everything. Because…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you, Michael. I appreciate this so much.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Is that all it is? Just a ride home? Like a taxicab?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Please. Please, I am your inferior and I’m asking you this favor. Can you promise me that it will just be a ride home?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You cannot promise me, or you won’t promise me?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you love her?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, how’s it going? Good. Can I talk to you for a second? In private?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It will just take a second.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just for a minute.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Please? I wanted to talk to you in private because I wanted to ask you out on a date.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok was that no to talking to me in private, or was that no to the date?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The perfect girl for me would be Konikotaka. She has the most amazing story. She was orphaned at age 10 when both her parents were assassinated, and she was taken in by a wealthy, but very cruel, businessman. So she practiced aikido in secret for years until she could avenge the death of her parents. She’s also a survivor of monster rape.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is really well made. Good stitching. Excellent fabric. [shakes the purse from side to side by it’s handle] You sell a lot of these?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I knew it. Is it waterproof?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Snakes are waterproof. So, I’m betting that it’s waterproof. Do you know the difference between a snake and an eel?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "‘Cause I could look it up real easily.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "My belt’s made out of alligator. Check it out. [lifts shirt]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I was just showing her my belt.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I….", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not all the time.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I think it did.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Seriously?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What else?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s a mini-briefcase.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s in my purse.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let me describe the perfect date. I take her out to a nice dinner. She looks amazing. Some guy tries to hit on her. Uh, now he wants to fight. So I grab him. I throw him into a jukebox. Then the other ninja’s got a knife. He comes at me. We grapple. I turn his knife on him. Blood on the dance floor. She’s scared now, I take her home. I’m holding her in my arms. I reach in for a kiss. I hear something in the leaves. I flip her around. She gets a poison arrow right in her back. She was in on it the whole time. But, I knew.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hi, here you can have this. [Dwight gives Kelly his purse] It’s a mini-briefcase, but you can use it as a purse.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mine are at home in a display case above my bed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So, what’s the joke? You’re not perfect either.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So who are we laughing at?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Who? Dave Barry?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What is it? Who wrote it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That is defacement of company property. So you better tell me. Kelly, if you tell me, you’ll be punished less.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, no, no, no…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…no, no, no, no, it’s not what you think.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, why were you in there?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What were you doing in there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Excuse me, everyone, could I have your attention please. I just wanted to say that the women in this office are terrible. Especially the ones who wrote that stuff about Michael on the bathroom wall. Having a bathroom is a privilege. It is called a ladies room for a reason. And if you cannot behave like ladies, well then you are not going to have a bathroom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "We are going to have two men’s rooms.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Be prepared to hold folks [Michael comes out of his office] From 9 am to…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Nnnnno, there needs to be repercussions…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…for people’s behavior.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And it’s-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[with a small fist pump] Yes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[clapping] Best Dundies ever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Welcome to the eighth annual Dundies awards.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Before we get started, a few announcements. Keep your acceptance speeches short, I have wrap it up music, and I’m not afraid to use it. [points] Devon!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The waitress tripped on the cord.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Really? We don’t have any girls from HR.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Like an AIDS test?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Quick, quick, the woman is having a seizure. Grab her tongue, grab her tongue! It’s okay, I’m a sheriff’s deputy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Don’t get into that now. We need something to cushion her head. Throw pillow? A cush-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s okay, I’m going to use my shirt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[struggling] Ahh! I can’t-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Watch your step.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thanks, I had to, uh, check her pupils to make sure there wasn’t a concussion.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[scoffs] Like a gaggle of geese… [jibbering mockingly]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, I need to talk to you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I just thought that you might like to know that someone has written something about you on the ladies’ room wall.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, no, no. No, I think something bad, maybe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "By any means necessary?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s the ladies’ room.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It hasn’t always been easy being a whistleblower. When I was in school, the kids would call me a tattle-tale or a snitch or a worm. So I really identify with those women from Enron. I wrote them letters to tell them how much they inspired me, but they never wrote back. I guess they’re all married.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Angela, it’s simple. Just tell me what the bathroom wall says.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m not asking what you do in there. I just want to know what’s written about Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, I’ll talk. You nod if I get it right. Does it have to do with his butt or his wiener?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, no, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s not what you think.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m on official business.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is Dunder Mifflin…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No. Phyllis, you’re not…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Phyllis, no. No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Phyllis, no, no. Do not listen to her. She’s out of her mind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That is not true.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s totally unfair. I was just in the ladies’ room in order to spy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What do you think, Phyllis? You think I followed you in there? Like, “Oh good. Phyllis is going to the bathroom, so maybe I get to see her naked from the waist down.” I’m not even attracted to you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "All right, let’s wrap it up. Come on, we’re late. The Dundies are starting very soon. Accounting, let’s go, let’s go. Okay, I gave you fair warning. [turns off their computers] Out. Who’s next, customer service? Meredith, let’s roll.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, you know me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The Dundies!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, you know me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Excuse me, Goldschlager, extra flakes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 78, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, no. No margarita. Hot sake.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 78, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Fosters in the big can.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 78, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just a chocolate shake, chocolate sprinkles.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 78, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay. No, no, no, no, no. Lie still, lie still.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim, not now! We need to cushion her head. Lie still. Please, Pam. Do not move.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim, don’t interfere.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Can you give me a second, sir.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am a Sheriff’s Deputy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I could have my men in here in a second and have you arrested.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pam, are you all right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "How many fingers am I holding up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "All right. Are you okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I will. I will. You need to calm down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So the monkey does the sex thing right here! [monkey noises in background]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you want the link because then you could forward it around?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Consider it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, Meredith.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, Toby.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You said that we could come to you if we had any questions.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where is the clitoris? On a website, it said at the crest of the labia. What does that mean? What does the female vagina look like?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good. Good. And…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wait, Jim, no! Don’t drink directly from the can. Okay, I’m serious. It’s all over the Internet. They use the same shipping company as a rat poison, and it gets on the can. [Jim takes a drink] Well, you’re an idiot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Diversifying. Smart.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And it worked. They should bring the stocks back. People’d obey the law, there’d be less troublemakers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You should go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh huh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You have your lawyer there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Can I be your representative?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I think I should be there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m good. I can make sure things are up to code.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Please, I’m always the guy you rely on at work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So you’re taking a personal day?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Please, I’ll make you proud.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes! As your representative?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Same thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I have been Michael’s #2 guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart, and I’m like Mozart’s friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy, and Michael is like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart; you’re going to get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What kind of shocks you got on this baby?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[tries to open sun roof] I want to put the top down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But then no one can see us.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Check it out. [points at sunglasses] Terminator.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Which one’s yours?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is smaller than your old place.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a 60 acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin, Mose. We sell beets to local stores and restaurants. It’s a nice little farm. Sometimes teenagers use it for sex.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Actually, no. We have a couple of questions, about the neighborhood.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let’s go check out the master bedroom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh. Terrible idea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, no, no, no, no. This is a shared wall. Neighbor throws his wife into the wall, plasma screen hits the floor. Totally smashed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Warrantees don’t cover it, plus they’re a rip-off.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Shh Shh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Listen. [puts ear to wall] Can you hear that? Oh man. These babies are thin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What kind of mortgage did you get?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ho, thirty years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wow, you’ll be paying this off in your mid-seventies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Forget about retiring when you’re 65. Hey, I’ve got an idea. You know that extra bedroom? If the whole girlfriend thing never happens, that’s where the nurse can live.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, this is it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, look! Cool. Carpenter ants.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "We’ll be here waiting for you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "A thirty year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Totally having fun. Can you imagine those poor saps stuck at the office today? [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You didn’t have to…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t even know what to say.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Question. Where can I put my terrarium?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s a fish tank for snakes and lizards.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Question. My grandparents left me a large number of armoires.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Question. What about carpooling, who pays for the gas?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Question. Can sometimes I drive your car and you drive mine?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just for fun?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Question. Who is the primary on the fire insurance?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank god. It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a nine bedroom farm house. I have my own crossbow range. It’s a perfect situation for me. Although two bathrooms would have been nice, we just have the one. And it’s under the porch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know you can always refinance your mortgage. We had a 15 year on our beet farm. We paid it off early.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "People love beets.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Everybody loves beets.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let’s get this roof going.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What is going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s my stopwatch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Silver medal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What did you do to it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m serious. What did you do to it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Nice try. [on the phone] Cancel card. Cancel card. Cancel… card.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What are the specs?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[talking over Michael] Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[talking over Michael] Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[talking over Michael] God, what a steal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Does it have a deck?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Have you seen it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Does it have a deck?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, so I called in a favor to my buddy at the police department.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Same thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Um, these are the crime statistics for the surrounding square mile over the past four years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Two charges of loitering,", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "one noise complaint, several speeding tickets.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you own a gun?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’d think about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hi, I am Dwight Schrute, Mr. Scott’s associate.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Him. I have got a couple of questions about the neighborhood. Have you had any problems with prostitution, crack dealing, gang violence, etcetera?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, boy. This whole condo’s shifting. It’s like this place was built on ancient Indian burial ground.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Seal it off.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Fill it full of cotton or soundproof insulation.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Seal it off with drywall so you don’t hear Yo-Yo Ma over there all the time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Kids? You don’t even have a girlfriend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, that depends on how old she is. What if your girlfriend is 55?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just a possibility.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If you fall in love with her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I smell mold.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Living on a farm, your sense of smell gets very sharp. For example, there are beets in the condo two doors down that way. And someone over there, I believe, is a big fan of olives.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[looking into his coffee mug] What the hell?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael’s in there right now evaluating the temp. He hasn’t evaluated me in years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael and I have a very special connection. He’s like Batman, I’m like Robin. He’s like the Lone Ranger, and I’m like Tonto. And it’s not like there was the Lone Ranger, and Tonto, and Bonto.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[alarm sounds] People!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is not a test! Move to the exits!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Head towards the exits.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Get up off your desks!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, panic is warranted!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is not at drill!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Please, move quickly! This is a paper company, people! Step lively!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This whole place is a tinder box, it is ready to blow!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is not a test! Can you leave?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "DO YOU WANT TO DIE?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you want to die? OUT!!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "STANLEY! Have you ever seen a burn victim?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Move to the exits!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "We’ve got smoke! We’ve got smoke! Smoke! Gah! [Spots Kelly] Oh, Kelly! You’re okay! I’ve got you!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Cover your nose and mouth. Breathe through your nose.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Breathe through your nose. Remove your stockings. Okay? They’ll melt right into your flesh! Stay below the smoke line. Let’s go! Clear out, stat! STAT MEANS NOW!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, guys, listen up, we need a head count. We need to count off. Michael’s number one. Where is he? Where is he?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, Michael. Um… Ryan needs his number for the count off.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "NO!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, he can have 14. Marjory’s not here today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, you know what else? I thought of a nickname for the three of us. Three Musketeers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s funny, too. But if we’re the Three Musketeers…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[to firemen] Hey guys, great response time. Listen up, I got some theories. Okay, there’s a…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay. Great, that’s going to keep you warm for like 7 seconds. Question:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Is this your car, Ryan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good shocks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Keep an existing…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, but look, I mean, he didn’t need business school. Okay, Michael comes from the school of hard knocks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Self taught. You didn’t even go to college.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[scoffs] Come on. I’m studying with the master, huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[to Ryan] You should learn from him, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Stupid!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The Crow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why didn’t I go to business school?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The temp.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, it’s all him and Michael talk about anymore.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He doesn’t even know that I do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh yeah, Pam. Right. That’s going to help things, just talk it out. I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m sorry I said that, I didn’t… just part of me meant it. Besides, he’d end up being a hero anyway.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh Jim, I’m not going to quit. Then Ryan wins.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thanks you guys. I just need some alone time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Would that make you happy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If you had your cell phone, it would make you happy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m on it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[coughing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[coughing] Everyone, okay? Uh, I have an announcement. Apparently, in business school, they don’t teach you how to operate a toaster oven. Because some smart, sexy temp left his cheese pita on oven instead of timing it for the toaster thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s exactly what I said.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Were you absent?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You failed?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I have a song. Attention, everyone! That I want to sing. That I wrote especially for this occasion when I was up there among the flames. Ready? [sings to Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”] Ryan started the fire! It was always burning since the world’s been turning!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Everybody!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[singing] … Marilyn Monroe!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Eat it! You gotta eat it. You have to eat it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Answer me this, though.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Was it worth it? Was it worth it temp?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The fire guy! The fire guy!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[sings] Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe, Ryan started the fire!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m Michael’s number two. He’s one, I’m two. He’s Alpha, I’m Beta. He’s A, I’m B. It’s easy. Whatever Michael is, I’m one less.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know Michael’s every move. It’s not something you can just pick up. I could write a book about him. Literally. I started once, but Michael made me stop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, how’s it going, man?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, nothing much. What’s up with you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good. Good, I’m good, too. How’s it cracking?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know what you would love? Guns N’ Roses. When I was your age, I loved Guns N’ Roses. Do you like Guns N’ Roses? I’ll make you a tape.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ll make you two tapes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Someday, temp. I’ve got a couple of shirts that don’t fit so well anymore. I’ll bring them by. Okay, see you later.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael and I have a very special connection, like an umbilical cord. And the thing is with Ryan is that I don’t want him to trip on it, or get it caught around his neck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[eyeing Jim’s costume] What is that?! What are you supposed to be?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, well look… [pulls his hood over his head and pops up his light saber] What about me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am a Sith Lord. [looks at Jim] Oh big deal. Three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt. This cost me 129 dollars.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wait, what are you again? Oh, right… Three-hole PUNCH! [punches Jim in the chest and cracks up laughing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim. Definitely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Phyllis.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Stanley. Pam. Oscar. Meredith. Kevin. Angela.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "One of the warehouse guys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Who is he saying?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, not me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know that’s what he said.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Tell him, not Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Tell him to stop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Quiet, you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Make him be quiet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Stanley, could you come with me, please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "As Assistant Regional Manager…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Look! I’ve got some bad news. You’re fired. You need to pack up your things and go. [Stanley laughs.] I’m serious, Stanley. It’s over. I’m sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He wouldn’t listen to me", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If you want to fire him, you’re going to have to tell him yourself.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[whispering on the phone] Cumberland Mills?! And how did you get my resume? Oh no, no. I’m very flattered. Don’t get me wrong. I’m just not sure that it’s my official resume or if it’s something that maybe a satisfied customer posted online. What does it say under martial arts training? Oh. Okay, I’m gonna have to supplement that. Could I have your fax number?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m getting paid for here is my loyalty. But, if there were somewhere else that valued that loyalty more highly, I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] So you got the fax? So why didn’t you add it to the res… ? What do you mean? Of course martial arts training is relevant. Oh, excuse me! I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ. Uh, yeah, I get a little frustrated when I’m dealing with incompetence. Well, you know what? You can go to hell, too. And I will see you there… burning. Fine! Okay… oh wait! So you’ll let me know when you’ve made a decis… [stops and hangs up phone.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is called leveraging an offer. [walks into Michael’s office] Michael, can I talk to you for a moment?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I just thought you should know that I was just offered a job with better pay, better benefits and a better title at Cumberland Mills.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And I turned it down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Out of loyalty to this company…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "… so I was hoping to be made Assistant Regional Manager officially.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But then you wouldn’t have me here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s in Maryland.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can’t. I… I suppose I coul… no. They never really made me an offer anyway.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re supposed to be a cat?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pussy. Here, pussy. Pussy. Pussy. Here, pussy, pussy. Meow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I feel like I made the right choice. Things happen for a reason. I wasn’t destined to go to Cumberland Mills. Just like Anakin Skywalker was destined to become Darth Vader, I am destined to sell paper here at Dunder Mifflin. That’s what I was put on this earth to do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where is my desk?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is not funny. This is totally unprofessional.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I didn’t lose my desk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, who moved my desk?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, I am going to tell Michael and this entire office will be punished!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[In bathroom, answers phone] Dwight Schrute.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim, I’ve given you this information, like, twenty times.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s by the ream?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…now, $9.78, signs and discounts 7%.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wash your hands, Kevin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[Also on the phone] Sensei, hello it’s Sempai…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Dwight…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes, I just had a ques-… Yes Sensei. Arigatou gozaimashita. Hai.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, that was my Sensei.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am now Sempai, which is Assistant Sensei.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Assistant Sensei.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am a practitioner of Goju Ru Karate, here in Scranton. My Sensei, Ira, recently promoted me to purple belt, and gave me the duties of a Sempai. Not that a lot of people here in America know what a Sempai is, but it is equally as respected as a Sensei.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Impossible. The way they’re programmed… You’re mocking me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Look, I’m going to offer you a little piece of advice. I’m not afraid to make an example out of you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No women or children, unless provoked.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Warehouse guy. Doesn’t count.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Because we’re friends.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Argggg!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What belt are they?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, I told you, it was because it was New Year’s Eve and it began to snow at exactly midnight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, I’ll punch you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Kiyah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Did I want to harm Michael? The one man I’ve been hired to protect? No, I did not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. Killed 20 men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied Prison Camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[to Kevin, who he is teaching to fight] Take this pen and stab me with it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Now watch, let me take you from behind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I didn’t sucker punch you, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "In case you remember, I was defending my honor… like a samurai.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, fine. Tit for tit. Give it your best shot. Two punches. Go!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes, Sensei!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hiii! [kicks Michael]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Eat it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Two more.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It was my pants.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No holding.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, stop it! Come on! Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, Michael!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I need to change my emergency contact information from Michael Scott.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just put “The Hospital.” Contact number:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m busy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Of course.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, I don’t know…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can handle it. I can. Wow. So I guess this will just be my office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ll have Pam send out a memo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Just a formality.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, I have so much to learn from you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you, Sensei.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[Dwight’s pager goes off] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Hold on. Sorry, just one second.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, I just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s a sales call.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can… Yes, sensei.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do I feel bad that I haven’t bonded with the other students? No, I’m not there to make friends. I’m there to attack people.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No problem.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Unless he has a shiv, in which case it wouldn’t be a fair fight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No women or children. Unless provoked.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Warehouse guy. Doesn’t count.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You just said it. You just said it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Die. You just… You said it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Alyssa? I guess she’s technically the senpai. But nobody really respects her. The only reason she got into regionals was because her competition was a bunch of 13-year-old girls. Put me in that division. Let’s see how she does.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "For the record, let me just say, Michael Scott has no honor. If he lived in Japan, he would be an outcast. Well, that’s not totally true, ’cause Asians worship chest hair. I had a friend, a hairy friend, who lived in Japan. He told me the women would line up to satisfy his every need. So, and he wasn’t even that attractive.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good luck, Michael. Good luck, Jan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, you guys should not be doing this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You took something that doesn’t belong to you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Brought it in here-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Made copies of it-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not now!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, what are they?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes, I have acted before. I was in a production of “Oklahoma” in the seventh grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids, so they made up roles like that. I was good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If it isn’t my old partner, Samuel L. Chang.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you for noticing. Now keep me company for one more mission. [Pam gets up to talk to Roy]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pow! Pow! Pow!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes, perhaps I would, Goldenface. Sam, get my luggage.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Samuel, you are such an idiot, you are the worst assistant ever. And you’re disgusting, Dwigt. [out of character] Wait, who’s Dwigt?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "D-W-I-G-H-T.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, you know what? I am done with this. That’s it, the end.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, you don’t speak for everyone, Jim. Ok, announcement. My uncle bought me some fireworks. Anyone who wants to see a real show, come with me outside now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[waking up on office couch] Michael? Michael? [goes into Michael’s office] Michael? [looks out Michael’s window] His car’s not in the parking lot. I should check the accident reports. [taxi pulls into Dunder-Mifflin parking lot] Who’s this? Jan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Did you do her?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jan Levinson-Gould.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Did you do her?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And she is your boss.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "A kick and a chop are two totally different things.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It doesn’t make any sense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[bouncing on an exercise ball] You should get one of these.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you even know what this is? It is a fitness orb and it has completely changed my life. Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This ab workout is specifically designed to strengthen your core. [knocks things around Jim’s desk] Sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Numerous health benefits, strengthens your back, better performance in sports, more enjoyable sex.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Plus, improves your reflexes [knocks over more stuff] see, I would have caught that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s only twenty-five bucks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, hey, listen, Jim. Here’s a little tip for your performance review.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double-tabbed manila file folders.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, yes, we do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, it’s a new product. So, you should just suggest that to him and he’ll be sure to give you a raise.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ugh, you know what? I am going to zone you out for the rest of today. I need to stay focused, and I don’t have to see you tomorrow or Sunday and please don’t call me, and we’ll see how things go on Monday. Uh, stupid.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, duh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Saturday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Who? Who was it? Who did he fire?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night; what the hell was I thinking?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[loud metal music playing in a stairwell; Dwight pacing] You are giving me this raise! I deserve this raise! [plays air guitar] Yes! [kicks] Yes! Yes! Hiya! The least you can do is keep my salary consistent with inflation! Keeya eyah! Yes! Why are you gonna give me this raise? Why? Because… I’m awesome! I am awesome!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m sorry, am I interrupting? Oh God; were you guys making out?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am ready for my performance review.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, wait, I would like to discuss my raise?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That is an excellent question. Thank you for asking. Let me bring up one word:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And in conclusion, I think that Lex Luthor said it best when he said “Dad, you have no idea what I’m capable of”.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Smallville. And that is why, I feel, that I deserve this raise.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[running through parking lot] I’m here! I’m here! I’m here! It’s ok!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know what this is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, you don’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is a visual aid for my performance review. Budget is tight, and if anyone is getting a raise, it is gonna be a fight to the death. And I intend on winning that fight. “Dwight: determined, worker, intense, good worker, hard worker, terrific. Dwight.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s a total waste of your “M.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, magnificent worker, marvelous worker, more money for this worker. Man, I like this worker. Mighty worker. That’s good. That’s good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pushing on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Does it specify which windshield?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This ought to be good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, no, no. It’s on the Miata.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What does it say?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[clapping] Come on. Let’s get back to this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Next suggestion.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "“Don’t sleep with your boss.” Do you think this is referring to you boning Jan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "There’s one more suggestion.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "“Way to go man, Jan’s really hot.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, temp.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Look, we’re twins.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Bet you I got mine for less than yours.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Getting a little something that calm the nerves?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "For the performance review. Oh, wait, you don’t get one. You’re a temp.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re lying.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why would Michael give you one before me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "How did it go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[Wild Side playing] You are gonna give me this raise. Ya! Yes, you are. You are gonna give me this raise. Ya! Ya! The least you can do is keep my salary consistent with inflation, right? You are gonna give me this raise! Why? Because I’m awesome, awesome, yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you for your time, dude. Champ. My lord, mi amigo. Mi amor. Ha! Wild side! I am ready. [groans]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mi-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, I’m sorry. What is going on in there? Why is he here? What are you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You have to tell me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Look, Michael, I know you don’t want to have to think about this, but if something were to happen to you, God forbid, then I would need to know in order to take over.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, but that doesn’t matter, you could get a brain aneurysm-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Or get hit by a car-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Or a bus or a train. Get poisoned, fall in a well, step on a mine, choke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So it’s true? You have access to our e-mails?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh hey, just so ya know, if you have a lot of sensitive e-mails, they need to be deleted immediately.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good. [Pam overhears]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Does he have access to their medical records?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone’s psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections. There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we are down river from that old bread factory.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Question:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Battlestar Galatica.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can’t-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Tonight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Unfortunately, I’ve got plans. I have to go to practice. Soccer practice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Clarinet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Have fun tonight! Whatever it is that you’re doing, and I’ll see you Monday. [to the camera] He has no idea!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim! You really think this is a good idea, huh? A hide-a-key rock?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You don’t work with us.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thanks. Yeah, I always keep an extra set in the car, for special occasions. Jim, come here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "When is the guest of honor coming?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He’s gonna love it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Surprise! [laughs] Everybody!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where’s your tie?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What’s going on, Michael. Talk to me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh no! Jan!? What’s goin’ on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The most important one of the guys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s exactly the point. You’ve hit a slump. It happens to the best of us. You just have to remember, you know-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where you come from, and who you are.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know, you have worked so hard for this. You are the boss; you can buy and sell us with just a snap of your little finger.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim, this is hardly the time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And their king bee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Master bee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Queen bee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Go. Get the door.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Go. Push!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Push!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Really shove it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Shove it through! Break it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I got a splinter.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ve got it leveraged. Push. Straight up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "One, two, three. [they push the tree up and it breaks through a ceiling tile.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You guys should use a hand truck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, I would like to be the elf.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[now wearing an elf hat and ears] Okay, everybody listen up! It is time to get your presents, wrap them, and place them under the tree like so. If you do not get your present wrapped and under the tree within the next five minutes you will be disqualified from Secret Santa. All right? No exceptions except Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Gather round. Secret Santa, let’s go. Let’s go. Come on. Stanley, no, I’m going to handle the cord. Okay, safety reasons.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I want to do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, I could get some flares from my car.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "First present, Oscar.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay. Okay. That’s enough. Let’s keep it moving on. Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "All right, next. Ryan. [tosses present]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "We don’t do anything until Michael gives us further instructions.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes, now you can steal the oven mitt, the old shirt or the shower radio or pick a new gift.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Angela, you’re up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, moving along. Meredith, let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s already been stolen this round. Pick something else.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You and me, Michael. Yes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I never said it was better than an iPod.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael keeps bragging about his iPod, but you know what? Two paintball lessons with someone as experienced as I am is worth easily, like, 2 grand.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[shooting paintball gun at target] Take that, Saddam!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pam, steal something or pick the final gift.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes! There you go. I want the teapot. Gracias.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets … Christmas.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No trades.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "“A real man makes his own luck.” Billy Zane. Titanic.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No. I want it. I’m going to use it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "True. But I get sinus infections, and sinus infections can be cured by making your tea from green tea leaf stems ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": ".. and pouring it directly into your nose, like so. [demonstrates]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is so awesome.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, hello there. [Kelly leans up and kisses him] But what are you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You shouldn’t do things like that. The man is supposed to do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay. Christmas lights? Good. Tinsel? Good. Star? Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Question, Pam. Is Roy coming to the party?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, well, you didn’t tell me that. Now, he will not be allowed in unless we register him on this list.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do I look like I’m kidding? [Pam shakes her head ‘no’] Phyllis, stag, I assume.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Everyone, please remain calm until we receive further instructions.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Absolutely… not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What separates humans from jungle beasts? The fact that we have rules. When humans give each other gifts, they do it properly and orderly. When bears give each other gifts they just rip open a fox carcass and present it to their mate. I prefer the human way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 72, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I do enjoy a drink now and again, but tonight, no. I am also an officer of the law and I’m unofficially on the clock. I need to stay sober and alert. Also, on a personal note, I’m not at my best when I drink.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hello. Jim?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is not funny. Why is my stuff in here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, well, I’m not paying for my own stuff, okay? I know you did this, because you’re friends with the vending machine guy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, Steve, whatever his name is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, no, no, no, no. That’s my pencil cup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, I think so, and you’re going to hand it over to me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, fine. Where’s my wallet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But I don’t have any…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[putting quarters in] Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good morning, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Aye aye, Captain.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Limbo, whoo!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Me! Me, me, me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m stronger.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four. And I was great. And I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[singing] What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can’t. Do you want us to run aground, woman?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wow. You should be the motivational speaker.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah. He gives me real responsibility, Michael. Captain Jack delegates. He’s let me steer the ship for the last hour.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Seasick? Captain Jack says you should look at the Moon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Don’t worry, Michael. I’m taking us to shore.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, oh, can I be the first mate?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "On the high seas, Captain Jack is the leader. On the land it’s Michael. On the ramp up to the boat, I was a bit conflicted. But now that I’m here, I’ll follow Captain Jack to hell and back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, Captain Jack, what kind of fish they got in this lake?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know, my grandfather told me there was a monster here that eats Catholics. Have you heard…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If the hull is breached for any reason or the boat is overtaken, I am a volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy, and you can count on me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, okay. My turn, my turn. Is this thing on? Uh, I want to congratulate the happy couple. You know, they say that marriage is an institution. And I say, who wants to be in an institution?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[silence, Dwight enters the office] What is going on? What is going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m coming Michael!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m gonna save you!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hold on Michael! I am coming! Wait there!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Your foot?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[holding mini-fan] It slipped.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, Pam, I’m assistant regional manager, and I can take care of him. Part of my duties are to.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, I didn’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What is wrong with you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Aw, man, is that a Prism Duro-Sport?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, they’re like an i-Pod only they’re better ’cause they’re chunkier and more solid.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, no no no. Don’t go there. I know this Russian website where you can download songs for two cents a piece.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, I’ll write down the address for you. Only, the only thing is, is that all the songs are in Russian. … Kidding!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why would they all be…? Ok, see you later, Pan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "These covers are totally indestructible.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah. Throw it. I promise it won’t break. Chuck it. [Pam throws her mp3 player]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh no, it’s broken.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, it’s fine. I told you it wouldn’t break. You could throw it all day long.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Huh. Do you like candy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Cause you’re sweeter than candy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[looking up at Creed] Dad?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[hits his head on his desk] Uh, ugh, ohhhh…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I want Michael to take me…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Choo choo choo choo choo choo…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Vietnam sounds.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Tired… [Jim grabs spray bottle from planter]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Want to take a rake… .", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ahh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, Pam, thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re the best.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It smells like chicken soup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I have to go to the hospital.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where we going?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ll be back, I mean…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 39 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Aw, Pam, you’re adorable [taps her nose]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 41 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[giggles]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 43 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, huggy hugs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 45 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where are we going?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where are we going?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I found it under the seat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m thirsty.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m thirsty!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You can’t fire me, I don’t work in this van!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No. [takes a drink]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[drinks] Mmmmm…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "My eyes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "My eyes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Danger.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hi Michael!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ahhh. Mweehaa", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s what she said.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t want to do this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pssht.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Constructing a home-made cast? Genius. Filled with foresight. Like in the pioneer times, if you lost a leg, they would then use the bone of the leg for a cane. They wasted nothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Look, I feel fine. As a volunteer sheriff’s deputy I have been trained to notice all the signs of a concussion. One of them is slurred speech, ok? Number three, shortness of breath. There are four things you have to remember. One:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Into a machine?! Ok. Uh, that’s bad, will you stay with me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, will you please call my cousin Mose?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh God. Oh God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Next to me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What’s up-dog?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good. How are you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Empty mind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Meredith, men’s room. Make sure you replace the urinal cakes. They’re worn down. Kevin file drawers. Angela kitchen. Oscar dusting. Where is Oscar?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s unacceptable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oscar is out sick.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Can I do some of the talking?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, let him know that I’m here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ask him his symptoms. I’m on Web M.D.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Checks out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok. First impressions?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Which is exactly how you’d wanna sound like if you wanted someone to think you were sick.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Question? May I investigate?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Listen Temp. I am conducting a little investigation so I’m no longer going to be able to head up spring cleaning. Do you think you can handle it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you think? Or do you know?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[low] Oh God, here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey Oscar how ya doin’? Dwight Schrute calling. Listen a little question for you, buddy. I called six minutes ago and no one answered. So I was wondering if you could explain. Oh, I see, so. Sounds like you’re too sick to come into work but your well enough to go to the pharmacy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "There are several different ways to tell if a perp is lying. The liar will avoid direct eye contact. The liar will cover part of his or her face with his hands, especially the mouth. The liar will perspire. Unfortunately I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, what is going on here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, really nothing? Fact: You are drinking grape soda. You never drink grape soda. Fact: You are talking to Jim. You never talk to Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok. So what is the secret Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Is that true?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you Michael. I know your telling the truth.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can tell. I won’t let you down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Who took all the black ones?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So, how did Oscar sound when he called in?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sniffling how?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Three.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, good, thank you. That wasn’t so hard now was it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Quick Oscar update. I have conducted interviews with everyone in the office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Including prep time?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "As a volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy I have been doing surveillance for years. One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me. So I tailed her for six straight nights. Turns out she was, with a couple of guys actually so… mystery solved.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Stay low… This is it… There he is. He’s been gone for at least two hours. Who is that? Come to Papa… Oh yes. Let’s roll. I knew it! You are so busted. Ice skates, shopping bags? I think I know what’s going on here. You weren’t sick at all.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is Dwight Schrute. Who is this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "How bout this. I don’t tell Michael and in exchange you owe me one great big giant favor. Redeemable by me at a time and place of my choosing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Guess what I found out about Oscar tonight? He was lying about being sick. Should I have reported Oscar’s malfeasance. Hmm, probably, but now I know something he doesn’t want me to know. So I can use his malfeasance to establish leverage. Otherwise, it’s just malfeasance for malfeasanceses-ses sake.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And he’s lining it up. Seems pretty straightforward from here. If Michael Scott sinks it, he’ll win a Buick signed by Tiger Woods.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He totally misses,", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Interception. He shoots, he scores, yeah! Michael, try it like this. This’ll be much harder.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jack Nicholas.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[golf ball rolls under bookcase] I got it. No problem. [clears throat]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, man, it’s really back there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah. I can barely…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Should I clean out my desk?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Don’t be fooled by the phrase “dust bunnies.” They are vicious little bitches and if they get inside your disc drive, God help you. They will bring your computer to its knees. They sit in corners hatching, defecating, laying eggs. And their sole purpose in life is to eat dead skin, which humans in this office shed by the boat load. Especially Creed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If they’re the worker bees, you’re the Queen bee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Queen’s higher.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Temp, shouldn’t you be monitoring the progress of people’s cleaning efforts?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah. Well, I’d hate to see it blow up in your face.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let’s table that. So, temp… You seem to be pretty close to this Oscar.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Getting defensive?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You seem a little nervous. You shouldn’t be.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[coughing] It’s still stinky.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "She probably scrubbed it into the fibers of the carpet. Total permeation.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[putting his feet on desk] Ha ha ha… the old bullpen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[agreeing] Mm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No way!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And who had your office?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That guy Miles who quit to form his own company?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I thought he was out on the road.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[whispering] Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah! [laughing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Should we help ’em pick up their stuff?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on phone] Hello, am I the 107th caller? [hangs up, dials again] Hello, Rock 107. Am I the 107th caller? [hangs up and dials again] Hell , Rock 107. Am I the 107th caller? [hangs up and begins to dial again] I’m totally gonna win us that box set.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jethro Tull…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I need to make a sales call. Please?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on phone, whispering] Am I the 107th caller?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It is so on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael is gonna wipe the floor with us!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But you’re the one who picked today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I think this whole disaster on Michael’s carpet happened for a good reason. Him sitting next to me is a huge gift. This girl I know would say that it was a gift from God, but I don’t know about all that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] Excellent, good, good. Well, our truck is going out first thing tomorrow morning. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] Good. No, I completely understand, times are a little tight right now. If it’s alright with you though, I will just give you a call back next month. Great, thank you so much. Goodbye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re the one who trained me, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You most certainly did not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What can I do better?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m not good at jokes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "My cousin Mose told me a joke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I will.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] Yes, Howard Gruber, please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] Howard, hello. Dwight Schrute. Dunder Mifflin. Yes, and you are my favorite client. Listen, I’m calling you to tell you a little joke. What is black and white and red and can’t think? A nun who has a beet for a head. … No, I’m Catholic, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] I understand.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] If I was offensive in any way, I…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] Humor works in…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] …crazy ways. I’m going to pass you off to my supervisor. Hold on one second. [whispering] Howard Gruber. It’s Howard Gruber.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s not true.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[whispering] He’s my best customer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But that’s my sale. This is my sale, Michael!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What Michael doesn’t understand is that when I worked in the fast food industry I was actually commended by management for the three “M”s. McService, McCompetence and McPunctuality.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, look, I know what you’re gonna say. That I’m not standing up for myself. But you know what? It’s complicated and I really don’t appreciate all the badgering.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s a terrible idea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Them in there all together. If they stay in there too long they’re going to get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "We could do it in the warehouse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Remember on Lost when they met the Others?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay. Let’s go. Step up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael wants us to bond so we need topics for conversation.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah and then they make you drive them to Church the next morning. Like “Gas ain’t free!”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not literally.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Word.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah. I got a spudgun in my car.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah. Shoot a chuck of potato at your face, 80 PSI, bon appetit!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Guys! Check it out! Spudgun! Woohoo! Bon appetit! [Darryl’s office window shatters] Sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "There was this film that I saw when I was little. It was about a kid who goes on the most incredible adventure. And even though it was really great, and she had a great time, she ends up back home in Kansas and says, “There’s no place like home.” And that’s how I feel right now. There is no place like home. What the hell was that movie called? [sighs] It’s gonna drive me crazy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And you want me to come with you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I will stay here and run things on this end.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Question. Will you be seeing Jan when you’re in New York?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well… It’s Valentine’s Day, and you guys, you know…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Screwed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What’s this? What is this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, but who put it here? And for what purpose?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[opens box and reads card] Happy Valentine’s Day. [pulls out bobble head] It’s me. I’m the bobble head. Yes! [Angela smirks in background] Ahh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hello Angela. Did you hear, somebody rocked the house and got me the best present I’ve ever gotten.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh I did. I did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, I bet you will before the day is over.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pam. Hi, How ya doing? Good. Listen, uh may I speak with you… privately?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, Pam, Just. Just, [tilts head away, towards another room]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[same time as Pam] Girlfriend. Yes, and the reason I didn’t get anything for this particular person – who shall remain nameless – is that she’s not really the kind of person you’d think would be into Valentine’s Day. She’s kind of…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "(smirking) Exactly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You mean, like a ham?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, I get it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, shut up. I know exactly what to do. [gets up and leaves]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, okay. That’s enough.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Come on, break this up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "How do you spell “animalian”?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "None of your business. I’m writing something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Forget it. I’ll look it up myself.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, you know what? You do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, yes, I’m in charge. You have to. Look it up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So tell me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Forget it. I’ll do it. But you’re getting written up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "They are either going to say yes… or no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Think it through.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Fumble! Yaaah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hut! Hut! Hut! Hike!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ryan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ooh. They’re having a sale on TiVo. Maybe I should get a TiVo. Oh. DVD Burner! Maybe I should get one of those. You are so lucky, Jim. You are so lucky you don’t have this problem. What was the 9th place prize again? A loaf of bread?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, great. Tasty, terrific pizza. Hmm. Question: Do their pizzas play DVDs?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ha! I don’t get it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, it’s not really a big speech. You still coming right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What if I give a really long, extended Thank You. For instance, “Thank you, Mr. Blank. Thank you very, very, very…”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "When I was in the sixth grade, I was a finalist in our school Spelling Bee. It was me against Raj Patel. And I misspelled, in front of the entire school, the word ‘failure’.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can’t do this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, deal! I’ll do whatever you say. No questions asked.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ll try and think of one. When…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Is that an insult or is that part of the public speaking advice?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Saleswoman has a vagina.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But I’m right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey. Do you remember the speeches that you gave?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Could I have a copy of one of them?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That is so great about the bonus!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Excuse me! May I have your attention please? There has been an accident on 84 West. Cars have skidded off the road into the safety railing. Several cars have flipped. There is broken glass everywhere. Several people are injured.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Brad Pitt. Also there will be no bonuses.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "They are unrelated.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He will never act again. Also, this branch is closing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good morning, Vietnam! [general groaning] Okay. You know what? This isn’t working. Because um I’m not nervous in front of them. They’re my subordinates.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, yes you are. I’m Assistant Regional Manager.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, can you explain?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can travel anywhere except Cuba. And I will travel to New Zealand. And walk the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trail to Mordor. And then I will hike Mount Doom. So… no… just leave me alone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh please! You’re not taking any trip.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You did?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes. I am.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Which is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ll glance at it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you, Angela.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, I can’t… I ca…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[bangs fists] Blood alone moves the wheels of history! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation, which everyone finds during the day. [waves arm] how long we have been striving for greatness? [bangs fist] Not only the years we’ve been at war, the war of work, but from the moment as a child when we realized that the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime’s struggle [waves arms]. A never-ending fight. I say to you [hits podium] and you’ll understand that it is a privilege to fight!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "WE ARE WARRIORS!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Salesman of Northeastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[laughs maniacally] Yeah. Yes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. [bangs fists]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers and door to door charlatans. This is our duty – to change their perception. I say salesmen… and women of the world unite! We must never acquiesce for it is together, TOGETHER, THAT WE PREVAIL! We must never cede control of the motherland! For it is…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, thanks. [to Michael] There you are. What happened?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It was amazing. I wish you would have been there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What? Something happened?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Weird.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Con artist.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "My future is so bright, Jim. Jim, do you know how bright my future is? It’s so bright that… What? Do you know? Is there something I got to wear? Huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[imitating ’80s rock]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And what a lot of people don’t understand about sales is that it has so much to do with organization. I have a system in place for keeping track of who I speak to, when I speak to them and what we have discussed. Etcetera.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, do you think I should describe our filing system?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t follow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, that didn’t go well.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[whispering to Angela] Stop it. [to the office] Two sailors walk into a bar…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, why not?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, no, I don’t think this is it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, yeah, I read about that. The entire cast of Battlestar Galactica is gonna be here, including Starbuck. I’m so in love with her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, no, no. It’s totally normal, ’cause she’s not a Cylon or anything. She’s just a great human fighter pilot. If I see her, my heart will explode.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[looks at Sasha] Mmm… hello tiny one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You are the future!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "There is no way that hurt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Little girl. Come over here. Shake my hand. Come on, I don’t have all day. [Abby shakes his hand] I don’t feel anything. Nothing. [to Jim] You’re so weak. [Jake walks over and messes with Dwight’s bobbleheads] Uh, excuse me, these are expensive collector’s items, okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, I don’t have computer games on my work computer. That would be innappropriate.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You call your mom Meredith? That’s very disrespectful.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You can refer to me as Mister Schrute.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Schrute. Mister Schrute.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[quietly] … Schrute. [Jim and Abby snicker, Angela glares at Dwight]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[plays the recorder] That was Greensleeves. A traditional English Ballad about the beheaded Anne Boleyn. And now, a very special treat… a book my Grandmutter used to read me when I was a kid. This is a very special story, it’s called Struwwelpeter, by Heinrich Hoffman from 1864. [reading from book] The great tall tailor always comes to little girls that suck their thumbs— are you listening, Sasha? Right? And ‘ere they dream when he’s about, he takes his great sharp scissors out, and then cuts their thumbs clean off!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "There’s a photo…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "These are cautionary tales for kids, my Grandmata used to read these—", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[standing up] Nazi was a fascist movement…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…from the 1930’s…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I was gonna teach the children how to make corn-husk dolls.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "We have better service than they do!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Is that a real fun shooting windmill?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[employees chuckle] And he is on TV now!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, okay. But first, that’s not my name.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well at least I’m not a horrible little latchkey kid who got suspended from school. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And they do, your parents, love you very much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The Schrutes consider children very valuable. In the olden days, the women would bear many children, so we would have enough laborers to work the fields. And if it was an especially cold winter, and there weren’t enough grains or vegetables, they would eat the weakest of the brood. [Laughs] They didn’t eat the children.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What the… [pulls a pencil eraser out of his mug, after a drink]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, I hate to break it to you, Abby. The certificate’s a fake. Okay? It’s not real. Where’s the certification number, Halpert?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, really? Uh-huh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh. Okay. Fine. Well done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes. There he is, the birthday boy!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Birthday hug!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That suit is amazing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mmm. Maybe I should get one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ebay. Hm. Question! May I be in charge of the party planning festivities?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Excellent. On my part, I did manage to reserve the…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let’s get the party started. [Begins ‘raising the roof’]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Party planning committee, listen up. Michael would like trick candles for his birthday cake, so make that a priority.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not my problem. Here is a list of things that Michael would like to be surprised by. [hands list to Pam]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes, but he doesn’t want to know when, or whom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s ‘For the Longest Time,’ by William Joel. It’s you favorite song.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I probably care more than she does.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, that’s a list price of four dollars and fifty cents. Unfortunately, this item is on [watch beeps] back… order… [hangs up] Michael! Michael! Michael Michael Michael! Come here, come here, come here! Come here!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Listen up everyone! It is 11:23 exactly, the exact moment when you emerged from your mother’s vaginal canal, so… huh?! Right, have a seat. Please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "There is a tradition that the Hebrews have of hoisting the birthday boy up on a chair.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So come help me celebrate Michael’s birth moment. Kevin!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Creed! Come on. Stanley!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "On three, we’re going to hoist away! Ready?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Happy birth moment, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "One. Two. Three! [Michael is raised until his head hits the ceiling]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oscar…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, that is not an eight foot sub.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "F. Alright, what’s the damage?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[pulls out wallet] Thirty nine… sixty.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist, because… I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Here they come.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Come and get it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, bologna, tomato and ketchup.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey temp, you know uh, we still got five feet of sandwich left [pulls ice cream cake out of freezer].", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hell, yeah. Save room for ice cream cake.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh. I got it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[whispering] This is the most important day of the year. I can’t risk anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What about that meeting… later… to discuss finances?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[whispering] But what if i’m hungry?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Here we go. Make a wish.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yaoo yay! [claps]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pam was supposed to get ’em.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where have you been? And don’t say the bathroom, ’cause I kicked in all the stalls.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Please, don’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ll get someone to take it down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "YEAH!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Turn it around. Turn it around.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Number one!!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let’s get the party started.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael’s birthday is hard for me because he gets very excited. But he’s also under a lot of pressure, which builds up until he’s ready to explode. As his right-hand man, it’s my job to release that pressure so that he can enjoy himself, if only for a moment.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "To think that a man’s skin could turn on him. It’s brilliant, ’cause you’d never expect it. Most people think of their skin as an ally. [scoffs] Makes me rethink having skin at all.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Kevin Malone, you’re next. Spit that out. [Kevin shoves the rest of the donut he’s eating into his mouth] Spit… Okay, come on, let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thanks, girl.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let’s go over some of the symptoms of marijuana use, shall we? You tell me who this sounds like: slow moving, inattentive, dull, constantly snacking, shows a lack of motivation.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I like the people I work with generally, with four exceptions. But someone committed a crime and I did not become a Lackawanna County Volunteer Sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Stop! This is not Kelly Kapoor story hour. Illegal drugs were consumed on company property, okay? Your ass is on the line, mister! My ass is is on the line! Now I’m going to ask you again. What time did you go home last night?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I didn’t know that you were at a party on Saturday night.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, I’m gonna need to search your car. Give me you keys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Don’t make me do this the hard way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I go down to the police station on my lunch break. I tell a police officer, I know several, what I suspect you may have in your car. He requests a hearing from a judge and obtains a search warrant, once he has said warrant, he will drive over here, and make you give him the keys to your car, and you will have to obey him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can’t stop this investigation. It is my job.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I volunteered for this job.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It is my duty…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…to investigate the crime scene. I have six more interviews to go and then I will reveal what I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If you are attempting to compliment me then you have done a very good job.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, you have…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…because being a narc is one of the hardest jobs that you can have…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…and I am very proud of being a narc.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oscar visited Mexico when he was five to attend his great-grandmother’s funeral. What does that mean to a United States law enforcement officer? He’s a potential drug mule.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Have you ever taken any illegal drugs?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you think it’s possible that maybe you could have had some drugs in your system without you knowing about it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Have you ever… pooped… a balloon?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He sure left in a hurry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t want to blow this. This is what all good law enforcement officers dream of. The chance to solve an actual crime.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you know what this is? [pushing a photo toward her]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "How do you know that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[grabs pictures back and looks at it] Dammit.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, it’s marijuana.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s ridiculous, of course it wasn’t me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I would remember.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s not how it works.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Knock it off, okay, I’m interviewing you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[opens eyes wide in total surprise]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know you’re innocent, but I can’t look like I’m treating you any differently.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where were you yesterday after work?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Attention everyone. Drug testers are coming in a couple of hours to test everyone’s urine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Company policy. If drugs are found on the premises there is automatic drug testing conducted within twenty-four hours.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No you can’t do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No you cannot. It has to be official, and it has to be urine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Kevin, what prescription drugs are you taking, besides Rogaine?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Angela, what about you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re not on anything?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, you will be tested.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You will be. That is the law according to the rules.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hi, Linda. Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager. You might remember testing my urine a few years back when I was applying to be a volunteer sheriff’s deputy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mine was green.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m all better.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What kind of filing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That goes directly to the tester.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Like in a cup?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "For what purpose?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Then I refuse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Are you serious?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But that’s illegal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not my urine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Were you forced to do drugs at this concert?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I want him to have all the urine he needs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know that. Don’t you think I know that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "My father’s name was Dwight Schrute. My grandfather’s name was Dwight Schrute. His father’s name Dwide Schrude. Amish. I loved my father very much. Every morning he’d wake up at dawn and make us biscuits with gravy. When I was little my dad and I played a lot of games together. My dad cheated a lot but I never busted him on it. I would have, except I didn’t know about it. He didn’t tell me till years later. I was shocked when I found out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s a uniform and I turned it in today when I tendered my resignation.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I took an oath when I was sworn in and I broke that oath today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s fantastic because I’ve always felt that the security here sucked .", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you, Michael. Very nice. Great. [To Hank] Can I have a gun?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, I’ll have to bring in my bow staff.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[salutes] Thank you, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I need to go over some details with you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "First of all, Hank, how many orange traffic cones do you have?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m not only hoping to find the culprit who committed this heinous crime, I am praying to find this heinous culprit. And I will pray to Thor himself, if that’s what it takes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "People use marijuana to escape. Jim does not have a girlfriend. His sales are nothing to brag about. And he does not belong to any organized clubs. If that were my life, I’d do drugs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Your turn, Stanley. [Stanley just takes a drink from his mug] Angela, you’re up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Go ahead. Don’t lie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, no, no. It’s okay. Go ahead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Kelly Kapour. Say your prayers. Let’s go. Conference room, pronto. Come on, step it up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, me? Just one of the gang. Sitting in the back, doodling, not playing attention. Bam! Pow! Surprise! Got you! [Note pad reads, “Creed -Shifty eyes / Ryan – Dilated pupils / Kelly – Hyperactive”] There’s a Volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy in your midst, and he is taking names.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Make-up sex. Nice!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The scary thing is, it could have been any one of these people. They all had a motive. To get high.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "just drink a lot of water.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You have to relax your muscles around the bladder.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey. Hey. Jerry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sheriff Pierce? I’m turning in my badge.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I got it here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, I mean at the gift shop. Also, I can’t wear this anymore.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, don’t worry. I never abused my power. I only tried to help the Sheriff’s Department in any way I could.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, God, there are so many. Roadside assistance, breaking up unruly parties, surveillance…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Crowd control, directing traffic…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ve only had to use it once.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh! What is on your face? Is that a disguise?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Clown paint.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I.D. badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, he’s sure. Just shoot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Whoa.. wha… wait. If someone has a problem with me, why would they withdraw it six months ago?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That is not true. Redact it. Redact it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay, question. [looks at Toby] When a name is withdrawn, does that also apply to the permanent misbehavior file in New York?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That doesn’t make any sense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I never smile if I can help it. Showing one’s teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is humongous. I am not a security threat…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And my middle name is ‘Kurt’, not ‘Fart’.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I have another complaint for Jim’s permanent file.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What box?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ah… agh… dgh… Ahh! No, no! Four years of malfeasance unreported. This cannot stand.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No! You calm down! Who’s side is Toby on? Who’s side are you on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Him or me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Him or me? I cannot work with Jim anymore.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Either he goes, or I go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You choose!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "One of us is out of here by the end of today! [runs out]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am not bluffing!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do the right thing here, Michael. Okay, I have served you loyally for years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I deserve this. You know I do!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You have till five.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, look, Jim. There’s a sales manager position open in Stamford. Want me to call Jan and tell her you’re interested? I could put in a good word for you, ’cause I’ll still be working here. Transfer! Transfer! Everybody! Transfer! Transfer! Transfer! Transfer!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s a good market. Higher volume.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I have a girlfriend…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So, you going to transfer Jim or not?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I want an answer by tomorrow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Come on, let’s go. Creed, Kevin, Oscar… andale! Let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[elevator bell dings] What is this? What happened here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, this does not look good. Did anyone see what happened around my desk area this morning?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "A prank, huh? This is official police line tape, okay? It’s not a prank.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Damn it, people! Someone must have seen something! [Jim’s cell phone beeping] Oh, you people are useless. Jesus.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, no, no, don’t! I can’t… [groans] [telephone ringing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is why I’m a Volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy and you’re not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, there’s no blood.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Possibly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[exclaiming in fear] No, Jim, no! [Jim knocks Dwight’s phone off its cradle] [yelling toward the phone] Sheriff, this is Volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy Dwight Schrute. Press the pound key! What’s your 20?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He sometimes wears glasses, write that down. Also, that may not be his real hair.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m the one who petitioned the office board to have these ID badges taken.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let me see your ID.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I gave her a higher clearance than you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. [laughing maniacally]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m done talking. I am a Schrute. We don’t back down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 72, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes, sir.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you. [elevator door closes] No, come on… God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I would never, ever serve you. Not in a million, billion years.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know. It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so family heirloom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Impossible. Roulette is not a game of skill, it is a game of chance.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, really? Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "How would you do that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[laughs] You can’t be serious. Are you serious?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t believe you. Continue.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[scoffs] That’s ridiculous. You know what? Uh… Why don’t you move that coat rack? Excuse me, everyone! Attention in the office, please. Jim is about to prove his telekinetic powers and he needs absolute silence. Go ahead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, my God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wait, canine AIDS?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Actually, it’s owned by Beakman Properties, and Dunder Mifflin is four years into a seven-year lease.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "When Darryl was coming, you said you wanted me here for protection.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Code name Re/Max is here. No sign of Lan Jevinson.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m Michael’s wingman. I’ve got his back. Two dates. He’s got two dates tonight. My job is to keep Jan away from Carol and vice versa. Michael said, “We must deceive them, so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I expect to do very well tonight. I have an acute ability to read people. Jim, for instance, has a huge tell. When he gets a good hand, he coughs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jan’s here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Give me the dice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Evening, Angela. This is craps. I need to roll an eight. If I do, everyone wins.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you, Angela.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah! Yeah! [Kisses Angela, she slaps him and walks away smiling]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Give me the dice!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Come on, shooter!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Come on. [Turns to Jan] So where you staying? Radisson?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Super 8?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Motel 6? Best Western?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Holiday Inn? The Hyatt in Wilkes-Barre? You staying with Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Nice, very nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, man!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you need anything?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Should I get water or donuts?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Come on, let’s go. Take a seat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Office Depot!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The planet Caprica.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s from Battlestar Galactica.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, get them, Creed!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "My charity is the Farm Defense Fund. It’s one of the best organizations that fights infestation of the beet armyworm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t believe that Jim moved that coat rack. But if he did, he has an obligation to use his gift wisely. With great power comes great responsibility. They could do a cross-section of his brain to find out more. But I don’t think it’s true, though.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[sobbing] Jim is gone. He’s gone. I miss him so much. Ooooh I cry myself to sleep, Jim! [serious] False. I do not miss him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Of course.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Absolutely not.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, he’s not dressed in women’s clothes, so…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I really don’t think so.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[creepy smile]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim told me you could buy gay-dar online.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah probably. He didn’t tell the truth a lot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Definitely.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Damn. [thinks] I’ll try Brookstone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, Michael knows Pam. He asked me to do this just for him. He has his own reasons.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ah damn pop-ups.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I think all the other office gays should identify themselves, or I will do it for them.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What about Phyllis? She makes absolutely no attempt to be feminine!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael appears to be gay too. And yet he is my friend. I guess I do have a gay friend.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[reading the note with the gay-dar] “Hope this helps. -Jim” Nice!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Shhh. Don’t be scared. [gay-dar beeps over Oscar’s belt buckle, Dwight smiles] It works. [gay-dar goes off next to Dwight’s belt buckle] …oh no.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Don’t be mad, it is a business trip.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Monkey, I am an A. R. M., Assistant Regional Manager.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes, Monkey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And your veil.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Can I have my neck pillow back? Michael! Can I have my neck pillow back?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, hey, how’s it going up there? Have you made any sales yet?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Shut up. That’s impossible.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, I did it too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So what kind of commissions you get up there?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re so immature!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, Jan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This party is going to be awesome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Check it out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ll do a shot, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager, Dunder-Mifflin.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m a huge fan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why do they call him The Bus?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Smile!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You don’t have email on your phone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No one just called you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes. Anything.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’ll talk to my buddy down at the station, stat.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So I called my buddy down at the station today. Had them run a background check on Josh Porter. See if there’s any known aliases, et cetera.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He wasn’t volunteering today.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Whoa. Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Was that your per diem?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Keep the wing flaps.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Come on. Nice try, Josh!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes! Ha!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ha, ha, ha, ha.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Blood, urine, or semen.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mm-hm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What would you have done? Been manager?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You? A bottle capper?! [laughs in disbelief]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So, you ever been convicted of a felony?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Misdemeanor?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Coast Guard? So you know how to fight underwater?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[directing people to their assigned seats] Take a seat down there. Second from the end.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why him?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not everyone approves of Movie Monday. I won’t say who.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s not going to happen.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s not his fault! He had to follow his heart!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan’s been bitching out on him. Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also weak arms.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael would never let me…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I could never do that!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[outside in the parking lot, pacing back and forth] WAH! GAH! [breathing heavily]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Is this Jan?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "This is Dwight Schrute. I am calling about an extremely sensitive matter.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s about Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[exhales] I can’t talk here. It’s too sensitive.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, but we should discuss that another time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pull over at exit 40. There is a Liz Claiborne outlet. I know you like that store. Go inside and shop, until I can meet you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Many of your blouses are Claiborne’s.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Part of my job.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…noted.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[walking into Michael’s office] I’m going… to the dentist.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I have to have an emergency crown put in.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes. It’s a new dentist. He’s far. I might be gone… three hours.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Did you get anything good?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "New blouse? Halter top? Camisole? Teddy?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can save the branch.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If you let me run it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[excitedly] “Ok” I can run it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mostly get rid of waste. Which is half the people there. And clean house. [to waitress in diner] Right here. It’s all for me. Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The decision to turn on Michael was difficult. [pouring way too much syrup on his food] But once I did it, I didn’t look back. And mostly I feel that Michael would approve. It’s really what’s best for the branch. And I could care less about my co-workers. So [cutting his food, giving Jan a “so there” look], here we are. It’s all, on the table. I want… the branch. And I await your decision.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[shoveling waffles into his mouth] Oh, by the way. There’s a new Ann Taylor outlet store near here. I know you like their earrings.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No thanks I’m stuffed.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…ok. [takes and eats several M&M’s]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…so good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "They have this new kind of quick drying bonding, so…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[long pause] Crentist.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Maybe that’s why he became a dentist.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[reluctantly opens his mouth and Michael peers inside] Ahh. Aaaah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What is it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Gahh!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can’t believe this news. That— wow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You said that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well… Gosh, if you think I should. Then I will.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Assistant to the regional manager. Thank you Michael, for staying on. I really appreciate it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey… I can’t imagine this place without you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, when I’m ready, Mike. [Dwight exhales, Michael looks at the camera] Ok let’s do it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you Angela.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you Michael. I just want to say, to the few of you who will remain under my employ, that I intend to lead you into the black! With ferocity!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I, will, make a difference here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh please, don’t be naive. But you can be in charge of the women.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[smiling] No thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not my style.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well that was before. I’m thinking about getting something German, something with decent gas mileage. Plus, that convertible, it’s a ridiculous choice for this climate.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[confused] No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What did you—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know what?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I think the Sebring’s cool. It’s cool. The Seabring’s cool. It has a cassette and it has a CD.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[Dwight gets on his knees and puts his face down on the ground] Don’t fire me. Please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[terrified] I HAVE EXCELLENT SALES NUMBERS!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[sobbing] I’ll do anything! Anything! I’ll do your laundry for a month! For a year!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m sorry! I’ll do anything, I swear. [squeaking, crying]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You can’t. You can’t. But I promise I’ll never betray you again. What can I do, Michael. What can I do? [Michael exhales] What can I do? [Dwight has his face to the ground but his butt raised high in the air] What can I do? What can I do?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey. [shuts door] Is everything okay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If the branch is in trouble, there are things you can do.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know that we need to cut costs. We could fire Meredith. That’s a big cost.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Creed might be living here, we could charge him rent.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[looks to Angela]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The Schrutes are a very loyal breed. But I also have Mannheim blood from my German grandmother. And the Mannheims knew when to cut and run. No sense going down with a losing regime. But the Schrute blood… It’s amazing that when these two bloods mix, the whole thing didn’t explode.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[laughs uproariously and applauds] Whoo!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Awesome!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, can you get me a pen from down in the warehouse?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay. [continues to laugh] Whoo!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That is the way to go. Instant death. Very smart.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re thinking of a chicken.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ed was decapitated.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You said you didn’t know how to say it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If my head ever comes off, I would like you to put it on ice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "When I die, I wanna be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died and what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That is not a statue, that is a robot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And how big do you want this robot?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mm, no. Better make it two-thirds. Easier to stop if it turns on us.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Look [holding up sketch] I gave him a six foot extension cord so he can’t chase us.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[grabbing ball] I got it. When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael! [following Michael downstairs] Michael. Michael …", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[in disgust] Oh…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Poor little fella.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He is a goner.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, get him away from your head! He is covered in germs and bacteria!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 39 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You want me to flush him?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[trying to shove bird into a can] Argh… gah!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What? No, this is about the right size.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m sorry, I grew up on a farm. We slaughtered a pig whenever we wanted bacon. My grandfather was reburied in an old oil drum. [pause] It would have fit if he had given me another minute.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I need a box. I need a box. A small box… not too confining.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes, please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Excellent.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Always. [runs off]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He’s not a songbird.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[begins playing recorder]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let’s get back to work.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Attention, everyone. As you know, Ed Truck is dead. If you have any contact information on Rolodex files or in Microsoft Outlook, remove it now. Also, if you have any photographs, Pam will make her shredder available during lunch. That is all.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Remembering the dead doesn’t help anybody. The way to best honor them is to figure out what killed them and prevent that thing from killing anyone ever again. In this case, some sort of steel exoskeleton to protect the neck, or else a device that allows the head to live separately from the body. I’m working on both.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael, no need to call corporate. We are supposed to use Toby. He’s trained as a grief counselor.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ow! God!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Brain teaser. I have two coins totaling 15 cents and one of them is not a nickel. What are they?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, I said one of them is not a nickel.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok. A man and his son get into a car accident. They are rushed to the hospital. The doctor says, there is no way I can operate on this boy, …", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "A man is found hanging from the ceiling…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "A hunter.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Damn it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So you excited?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Very excited?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Extremely excited? … Just very? That’s cool.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am very excited. Ryan hasn’t made a sale yet, but more importantly, he hasn’t made an ally yet. Is he going to be a slacker-loser-wise-ass like Jim was? Or is he going to join the Dwight Army of Champions?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you. Your journey begins now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you know where we are, temp?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I hold in my hand, a beet seed. Take it. [Ryan tries to take it, Dwight closes hand] AH! [Ryan tries again and takes seed] When… Damn it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I’m going to plant my seed in you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Smells pretty bad, doesn’t it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s called bull crap and a client can smell it from a mile away.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh hey, I forgot something in my car. I’ll be right back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Congratulations resourceful salesman. You have passed the second challenge. Welcome to Schrute Farm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It is time for your next test. You have planted the beet seed. You have walked the long lonely walk of loneliness.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You know what your problem is? You know why you haven’t made any sales? Cause you think you know everything. You have to trust that maybe there are other people that can teach you things. Are you ready to learn? Are you ready for the final test?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Come on!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Please be seated. [man runs behind Dwight]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pay no attention to the spirits that haunt this hallowed ground.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mose is my cousin and he lives here. He will always be my best friend. Unless things go well with Ryan today in which case, I won’t hang out with Mose so much anymore.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Mifflin?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wrong. Flash floods. What is the true cause of Robert Mifflin’s suicide?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wrong. He hated himself. What is the DHARMA initiative?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Final question, young Ryan Howard. What is Michael Scott’s greatest fear?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wrong. He’s not afraid of anything. Also, I would have accepted snakes. Fear is what it’s all about. You cannot sell while undergoing fear. You need to vanquish fear! One must wrestle fear to the ground. You will now wrestle my cousin Mose.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Wrestle him to the ground.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ryan. Don’t. Ryan! You don’t have to wrestle him. Just get in the coffin. Ryan?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Where are all the animals?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ryan, come on. I am sorry. I am sorry. Mose is sorry too. Look, he sent over a basket with eggs and some fat back bacon. And look, something he whittled.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You still mad? It’s just Jim and I didn’t get along, and I didn’t want it to be that way again. You know, I wanted us to be a team. An unstoppable team that competed against other teams.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Screwgun. The sales call!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Establish time frames. Keep the phrase “real dollars” in their head. And always keep the power in the conversation. That’s why you’re losing them on the cold calls. Cause you say the word please too much.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael always said, K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid. Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh huh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Exactly. Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "They did not. They didn’t have to say it to your face.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Not everything’s a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail. It’s those online paper jerks. The whole business is changing. You know what? They’re going to be screwed once this whole internet fad is over. What are you doing? [Ryan throws egg at building] Oh no no no no! Ryan! Yes! Ryan the temp! Come on! Courtesy of Dunder Mifflin. Come on! Drive.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[Dwight chokes as Ryan downs a beer in one drink] Temp! Temp! Temp! Temp! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Yes! Just think, that temp agency could have sent you anywhere.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Take a good look at this boy…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…because you are never going to see him again.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Today is Ryan’s first sales call and I am bringing this boy home a full-grown man.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I once saw a movie called “Training Day”. It starred an African-American and Ethan Hawke. In it, the African-American trains Ethan Hawke with various tests and trials. Today, Ryan is Ethan Hawke, and I am the African-American.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Get in the car.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Don’t you realize the key is inside you? [pretends to pull key out of Ryan’s ear]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, but seriously, your ears are the key. 90% of a good sales call is listening, only 10% is talking.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Get in the car. [Ryan knocks the car door] Get… get in the car.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sales is not all in here. [wails arms] It’s also in here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[wails arms] You know, selling, typing, dialing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What is that in your ear? [pretends to pull beet seed out of Ryan’s ear] A tiny beet seed. You need to clean your ears better.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sales is about people, Ryan. About understanding them and learning how to get along with them. Case study:", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Maybe you’ve got mono.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, totally single. Hundred percent available.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pam wishes. [generalized laughing] Kelly, I’ll take this one. Diwali is a Celebration of the Coronation of the God-King Rama. After his epic battle with Ravana, the Demon King of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I see dead people.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He was dead the whole time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Temp! Temp! Pflut! Pflut!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Does Michael talk about me a lot?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He does? What does he say.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No![knocks coffee out of Stanley’s hand.] You’ll thank me later.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey stranger.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sorry. I just feel like we haven’t talked in awhile.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What’s the plan?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Can I drive?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Shotgun!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Still.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Thank you very much. [hangs up cell phone] Okay, secretary says Wallace is away for the day and won’t be coming back into the office.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But, do not worry. I have his home address right [presses cell phone button] here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Christmas card list.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But when I do, we’ll have something to talk about.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So, do you know what you’re gonna say when he shows up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No. Bad idea. You need an attack plan. Here, I’ll be him, you be you. Let’s practice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[as David Wallace] Dum, dum, dum, dum… coming home from work.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes? What is the meaning of this?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, the branch is no longer finicially viable. It’s simple dollars and cents.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Listen, Scott… we’re losing money, okay? It’s not a charity; it’s a business. And it’s a dying business.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[as himself] Whoa hey, why not?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[as David Wallace] Dum, dum, dum, du, doy, du, do… coming home from work…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[frightened] Uh!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ah. [takes a gulp of Gatorade and passes the bottle to Michael] Here, replinish your fluids.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[referring to Michael’s ringing phone] who is it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Gonna get it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Nothing. [puts down binoculars]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Then it was an honor to have worked with you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "My first day when you hazed me by spraying me with a fire extinguisher.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh,… my first sale, my promotion to assistant regional manager, our basketball game, when you took me to the hospital, and told me that you cared about me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What were your favorite moments?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What about when Jan said the branch was closing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, it doesn’t…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[picks up his beeping cell phone]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[on the phone] Oh my God!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": ": Stranford is closed! Michael, we’re not closed. Stamford is closed. Stamford is closed.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "We did it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "In your face!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, man.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I don’t … have no idea.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Psh, why is that great?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What was your mile time?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[scoffs] I could beat that on a skateboard.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, well my feet don’t. And I can still crush that time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Let’s just put it this way. Last weekend I outran a black pepper snake.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am fast. To give you a reference point. I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Man, what is taking Toby so long?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And you’ll compare the times?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, my groin…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…is really tight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can’t… [starts running]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Aaaaah!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Nametag?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Karen Filippelli.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Probably Italian. Possibly Filipino.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That’s Andy Bernard.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If I were you…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…I would fire Anthony Gardner…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…before noon…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "…to consolidate power.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, no, no! Not somebody. Gardner.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "The Japanese camp guards of World War II always chose one man to kill whenever a batch of new prisoners arrived. I always wondered how they chose the man who was to die. I think I would have been good at choosing the person.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hannah Smoterich-Barr.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in from Stamford.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Fact – I am older. I am wiser. Do not mess with me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What are you doing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I have a smudge on my forehead?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why are you looking at my forehead?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Meet my eye line, Jim!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Stop acting like an idiot!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hello. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced. Dwight Schrute. Assistant Regional Manager.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So you’ll be reporting to me, then.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "My title has ‘Manager’ in it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I know everything about film. I’ve seen over 240 of them.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "We need to talk!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Which is higher? Assistant Regional Manager or Regional Director in Charge of Sales?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Okay. So who gets paid more? Me or Andy?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok. Who reports to who?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And then if I want…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "One…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yo Mike, our town is dope and pretty.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But check that it’s covered by your health care provider!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "But the little cars go in the compact spot", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you mean to me? From you? Cause that’s how it works.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do you have batteries?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Very funny, Michael!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Really funny, Michael!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Do this. Come on. Ready?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "On three. One… two… three.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey, hey. Easy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That was my advice. Remember? I’m the one who suggested that you fire him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And what advice has Andy given to you today that you have acted on? Would ‘none’ be an accurate estimate? None advice? [whispers] Fire Andy. Fire. Andy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "YEAH!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If he even wants it. It doesn’t come with a pay raise.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "So who will be your new Number Three?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And I have to say your leadership…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "has brought…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Uh, try double that. Classic TransAm, vintage American muscle. Please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Xterra’s not even a real word.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, so you drive an X-Earth?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "That makes sense. I’d rather drive a classic TransAm than an XEarth.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Well I hope 1985 has a time machine ’cause I drive an 87.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Speaking of funerals, why don’t you go ahead and go die.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Idiot!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "If you were driving a TransAm, you would be the smartest idiot in the whole world.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[coughs sentence] You’re the idiot!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[coughs sentence] I was making fun of your comeback! That’s why it worked. [talks normally to camera] Totally got the best of that interchange.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Nash.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Male, age 37…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Mocha complexion. Supplier relations. Either caught a fish or was standing next to a man who caught a fish in Key West, Florida.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[holds up piece of paper] It wasn’t clear on the Google Image search.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[starts clapping] Very good Michael. Really good. [Michael shushes Dwight]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[clapping] No, no, it’s better than fantastic. It’s super perfect.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It just goes to show you, you play with fire and you are gonna singe your eyebrows. And they do not grow back the same way. [takes of glasses and points to right eyebrow]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Bull… [bleep] [clears throat] Sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I had a tickle in my throat.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can’t say [clearinng throat noise]?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Sometimes it hurts Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am cool.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I’m cool, I’m cool, I’m so cool. Tell me what is going on.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Prison Mike. What’s the very very worst thing about prison?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Merry Christmas! [holds up dead goose and puts it on Pam’s desk]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Don’t worry, she’s dead. Oh wait. He’s dead.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I accidentally ran over it. It’s a Christmas miracle!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Relax, OK. And because this is Christmas, I am going to roast this goose and prepare it with a wild rice dressing. Do we have any cayenne pepper in the kitchen?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "What does it look like?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "And circle gets the square.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[to Pam] So can you watch this? I’m gonna get my carving knife out of the trunk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No, Toby, this is different. He’s already dead.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Once I brought in a duck. To prepare for lunch. And people got upset. Apparently, they got attached to the duck and didn’t want to see it killed.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "He was already dead. And we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious, smoky, rich flavor. Plus you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Exactly. Thank you, Jim.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, that is ridiculous. And totally against the spirit of Christmas.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It’s Christmas Toby.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Toby…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[sighs] Please? Please?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh Pam. Take a chill pill.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[standing up] Oh, ouch. Michael, I don’t think there is anything wrong with the way you described her.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[over everybody else’s talking] Are we gonna cancel Hanukah as well?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael. Sorry to interrupt. Uh, It appears we’re one bathrobe short.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Copy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[putting things into a box] We are getting rid of everything that reminds you of Carol.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, look at this. [looks through papers] Your old condo closing papers. It’s riddled with Carol’s name. I wish I could throw this in the box. [Michael hits repeat to “Goodbye My Lover” on computer]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Why don’t you just buy the whole song?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, look at this, she saved you two thousand dollars ’cause they failed to report a mold problem. [Continues to sift through papers] But wouldn’t that affect the final… How did she? Oh, oh, I see what she did. That is good. Wow. Carol is one smart cookie.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Pam and Karen. I am ordering you to cease and desist all party planning. Immediately.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "As ranking number three in this office, I am order –", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "You’re number four.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ah, no. [to Pam and Karen] You must turn over to me all Christmas decorations and party paraphernalia immediately that will be returned to you on January fourth.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Ok, good", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "OK, this is stupid.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No no, no, wait, wait, wait [raises hand] Permission to join the Validity Committee.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Damn it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Get out Jim. [Dwight tries to sit between Andy and Jim] Actually, um… [to two other people at the table] Sir, I’m going to need take this chair.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "I can’t… I can’t here what you’re saying.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[off screen at other end of table] What’re you talking about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[still off screen] Carol had a mustache?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[off screen] What are you guys talking about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael! Repeat what you said louder!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "It is my job to be there for Michael. How can I be there for Michael if I’m here for Michael? [food is thrown at Dwight’s face]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Who are you calling?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Looks like you’ve got a little Nakiri knife action going there.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yeah, I bet you wish you had a Nakiri, though.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Nah, I don’t know… Still think Nakiri’s better.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Michael! Hey! Over here, Michael! [waves down Michael with a napkin and whistles to get attention]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[with conviction] Start the party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Jim! Jim! What… What’s happening?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh… Narcolepsy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh my gosh, now she’s up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh, OK. Cindy! Yo, Cindy! Cindy! Hold its neck back and insert the knife below the jaw. Bring it all the way around, there’s going to be a good amount of blood. [Cindy looks confused. Woman next to Dwight is disgusted] Don’t let it bother you. Have a bucket there, for the blood… and the innards… and the feathers.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Hey! It’s Angela! [Angela slams door shut, but not before Kevin sneaks out] Hey!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No. It was awful. I couldn’t hear anything. [cheers from other party]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "No… way! Yeah!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Walkie-talkies.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[into walkie-talkie] Monkey, this is Possum. Do you copy?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[singing] Lady, from the moment I saw you standing all alone. You gave all the love that I needed…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[singing along] pum pum pum pum pum pum pum", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "Bye Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[Cell phone beeps] What the? [Reading text message] “You have been compromised. Abort mission. Destroy phone.” Destroy phone? [Dwight throws phone off of the roof and walks away]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 72, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight", + "text": "[from across the table] Where’s Michael going? Michael? Is he sick? Is he choking?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 82, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "jan": [ + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on her cell phone] Just before lunch. That would be great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Alright, was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What? I’m sorry?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, I faxed one over to you this morning.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Do you want to look at mine?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "OK. Since the last meeting, Ellen and the board have decided we can’t justify a Scranton branch and a Stamford branch.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, don’t panic.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, no, no, Michael, listen OK. Don’t panic. We haven’t made… We haven’t decided.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’ve spoken to Josh in Stamford. I’ve told him the same as you and it’s up to either him or you to convince me that your branch can incorporate the other.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "This does, however, mean that there is going to be downsizing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Go ahead.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So do you think we could keep a lid on this for now? I don’t want to worry people unnecessarily.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So, which health plan have you decided on?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Wait, acupuncture? None of the plans have acupuncture. Have you looked at them closely Michael?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "The Gold Plan? I’m not even on that plan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You know the whole reason that we’re doing this, is to save money. So you just need to pick a provider and choose the cheapest plan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "It’s your job. So…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael… maybe… I mean…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Sometimes a manager, like yourself, has to deliver the bad news to the employees. I do it all the time.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m doing it right now. To you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hello?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "This is Jan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Who is this?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "From sales?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Where’s Michael Scott?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Dwight, listen to me very carefully. You are not a manager of anything. Understand?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "OK, when Michael gets back, you tell him to call me immediately.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No. Please don’t use my cell phone ever again.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Are you listening to me Michael?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What did I just say?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Alan and I have created an incentive program to increase sales.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m not going to do that Michael.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "We’ve created an incentive program to increase sales.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "At the end of the month you can reward your top seller with a prize worth up to a thousand dollars.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Uh, yes. Yes you can.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, Michael. No. You can’t win this prize.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on speaker phone] It’s a, it’s, it’s a two and a half hour drive from New York, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, we don’t approve of this Michael. I mean, y-you only had the budget for one office party a year, so… we’re not paying for this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Are you there Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Really? I’m dropping an atomic bomb on you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You already had a party on May 5th for no reason.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "And you had a luau….", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "And a tsunami relief fundraiser which somehow lost a lot of money.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay, well, I don’t understand why anyone would have a tsunami FUN raiser, Michael. I mean, that doesn’t even make sense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[to cell phone] Yes. Yes, I did. Okay. Well, we can talk about that later then. [to Pam] Hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You seem a little bit agitated, Michael. What’s the problem?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, that… that’s true in a way. You can’t say anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Do you need to see the video again, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael. MICHAEL!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Mike… Michael. Please. I… I… really.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "That’s not my sense of humor.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Wha…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[to Albiny] ‘Scuse me, I’m sorry. [to Michael] Michael. Mr. O’Malley is your lawyer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Mr. O’Malley is our Corporate lawyer. We have him on retainer. To protect the company as well as upper level management, such as yourself.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on the phone] This is Jan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Excuse me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Devon. The… Oh, is this the man that you…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "The person that you fired, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Is that what you’re… Okay. Oh, you sound a little… A little upset.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, I have to say that I am impressed, Michael. I know… I know how hard that was.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, I’m glad you did it, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "And so, good job. Good job.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yeah. Good job.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[talking over Michael] Yup. Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "This is a projection of the county’s needs…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Thirteen schools, uh, two hospitals…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So when we get to the Radisson, I’d like to, um-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Excuse me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You had no right to do that, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "It said that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Alright. But you will let me run this meeting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, shouldn’t take more than an hour.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Do you always shut down the entire office when you leave for an hour?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So which way is Chili’s?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh, no, that’s alright. I wanna leave straight from there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I know Scranton.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "If it’s a couple blocks away-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Why would we need a signal?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What kinda trouble are you planning on getting in, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You’re gonna let me do the talking, we agreed on that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Just Jan Levinson.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No. [To Christian] Thank you very much for meeting with us. Have you been waiting long?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, we got divorced, ok? [to Christian] I’m so sorry. Excuse me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael. [to hostess] Uh, could we have a table for three, please?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "We’re in a meeting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Christian.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I thought we could start by going over the needs of the county.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "If you have a-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Christian, you don’t have to listen to this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Just the one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[to waitress] Excuse me, could I have a vodka tonic, please?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "We would probably be upset with ourselves if we went this whole night without talking business, so, Dunder-Mifflin can provide a level of personal service to the county that the warehouse chains just can’t match.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What’s the bottom line?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I don’t think Christian has time for that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh no, Michael, Michael, please. No, really.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "We’d been fighting for a while-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "He didn’t want kids, but I knew that going into it. But he also knew that I did. I guess I thought that he would change his mind; he thought that I would change mine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I was stupid.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Uh- [Michael signals for her to shh]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Bye… thanks. [pumps fist] Yes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "We got it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I am really- [Michael kisses Jan] Thrilled. [Michael and Jan kiss again] Let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m almost there, so we should have plenty of time to go over the presentation.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "And, uh, hmm, excuse me, I’ve also confirmed the meeting this afternoon at four p.m.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What do you mean?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael. I need you to take this seriously.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Are you hearing me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "This is a very important-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[sighs] I’ll see you in ten minutes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I am returning your many calls.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No. No, we won’t be discussing that, Michael. The only things I wanna talk about during your performance review are your concrete ideas to improve your branch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Uh, your review is anything but a formality, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened between us and exhibit completely professional behavior.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Ok, that is an example of completely unprofessional behavior.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Are the cameras with you…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "…in your office?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on phone] We’ll address this in the meeting then. Ok. Ok, bye-bye. [to Pam] Could you please tell Michael that I’m here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m good; how are you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Nice to see you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Can we please go in your office?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Nice to see you too, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Not like that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You know Michael, I think I need to make something clear right off the top. I’m not going to discuss anything with you other than Dunder-Mifflin business.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Period.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Do we understand each other.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So are you still in the middle of the performance reviews then?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "How is that a business question?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Please don’t smell me, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Uh, I’d like to sit in on that meeting [to Pam] is it happening right now?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Great. Very good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I can’t, I can’t-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Please sit down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You’re gonna sit here and I’m gonna go sit over there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Please, sit yourself down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Because nothing did, Michael. It, I’m not going to say anything more about it, and I would advise that you do the same", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, Dwight; come in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Is this how you’ve been conducting all the reviews, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Look, I know it’s your job, I know you have to ask, but I promise you, I’m not gonna discuss it with him, I’m certainly not gonna discuss it with you. [digs a cigarette out of her purse] Do you have a light?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m heading back to New York; Alan and I will conduct your performance review over the phone tomorrow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "‘K?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, now is not the time or the place.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, I am saying we are never having this conversation.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Never, for me, always means ‘never ever ever.’", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, it has nothing-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "With your looks, ok? It’s your personality. I mean, you’re obnoxious, and rude, and, and, and stupid, and you do have coffee breath, by the way, and, and I don’t agree about the b.o., but you are very, very inconsiderate.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Really. You’re, you’re, you’re a great guy, ok?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "And you were very sweet, and you stayed up with me and talked with me, cried with me, and I appreciate that-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "At this time in my life. I just am not in the place right now where I’m looking for a relationship, so we can still work together, we can still be friends but… ok?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Ohhh, God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I am not going to discuss anything with you other than Dunder Mifflin business.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Period.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Do we understand each other?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay, let me make something clear. As embarrassing as this is, I feel that it needs to be said. There is nothing romantic or sexual going on with Michael and myself.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "The other night, I gave him a polite congratulatory kiss because he just closed the biggest deal of his career. And that’s it. If anything else has been implied, Dwight, or inferred, Michael, Creed, it’s just not true, okay? It’s not true. So… Is everyone straight on that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Never for me always means never, ever, ever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What did you say, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Did you call my ex?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Gould, you said, Gould.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "How dare you, Michael? My personal life is off-limits to you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay, how dare you do that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Why would he do that? Why would he call you, Michael? Why would my husband call you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I mean…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hello, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Can we come in?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Thank you very much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Brenda.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh, really? A surprise visit from his boss?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "A booze cruise? What do you mean?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, we discussed the IRS’s regulations.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay, this event has to have legitimate business content to be tax deductible.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "We discussed that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Good. This is Brenda Matlow from corporate training.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I thought she could attend tonight, and if your event is appropriate, you could give it to other branches.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Brenda.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay, you know, I’m gonna go now, and…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Good luck, Brenda.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay, see you later. And try to be professional.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, that’s all right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You call me if you need anything, Brenda.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 38 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So, I’m happy to be here. It’s very nice to see all of you. You’re all looking well.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Women today, though we have the same options as men, we often face a very different set of obstacles in getting there. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael… I thought we agreed you wouldn’t be here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What are you doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You are not allowed in this session.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Now you’re really not allowed in this session.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m your boss.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "We’re fine, Michael. We just need you to leave, please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Ladies, I am so, so sorry. Can we start again? We were on such a roll. I… I… really apologize.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yes, Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[in the background] So one obstacle is how assertiveness is perceived differently in men and women. Men who are assertive will be admired. They’re called… anyone?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I don’t know what you’re doing here, Michael,", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "… but it’s very destructive.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Can you please do this somewhere else, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Dwight, excellent idea. Go to the warehouse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m so sorry about that… um… so where were we? Pam, are you okay taking notes then?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Please? Thank you. very much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Why don’t we go around the table and all say something that we know we’re good at. I will start. I am good at public speaking.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Great. Phyllis?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No. Okay. Stop. Go on…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "That is an excellent goal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Great! Uh-huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, I’ll be honest. One of the goals of these women seminars is to feel out if there’s any standouts. Women who could be a valuable addition to our Corporate life.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Great, great. And Pam, what about you? What is your dream?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You know the company is offering a design training program in New York.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, it’s only on weekends and then a few weeks in New York, but I’m sure that I could ask Corporate to help you out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "There are always a million reasons not to do something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "All right. Let’s talk about clothing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. All right. You can use your clothing to send a message about your ambitions by wearing clothes that reflect what you aspire to be.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Another issue is inequality of pay between men and women. I’m sure that all of you have felt that before…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What? A union! What…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m not…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "The cons are that everyone will lose their job. Michael. Everyone. Office, Warehouse. What do you think… the… pros… are… here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You got yourself into this Michael, so you get yourself out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "That’s too bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I don’t want to…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael! Michael! Michael!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Don’t say another word.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Get yourself down stairs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Sports metaphors are one of the ways women feel left out of the language of the office. Now, I know this might sound silly but a … many women ask to go over it. So… Fumble means…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Right. Par for the course is a golf term. It means right on track. Below par means worse. Wait… that should mean better, that doesn’t make sense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Excuse me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I don’t know what Michael was talking about. I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[in the background] Kelly, I don’t know what Michael’s talking about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m divorced.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "It was. Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I think you should all spend a little more time thinking about your careers and less time on personal stuff.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay. Let’s take five. I think we can all use five.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Did you take care of the situation?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Excuse me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Excuse me. I’ve been told there’s been some interest in forming a Union and that Michael supported it. Obviously he’s not a friend of yours because he didn’t tell you the facts. So let me. If there is even a whiff of unionizing in this branch, I can guarantee you the branch will be shut down like that [snaps her fingers]. They unionized in Pittsfield and we all know what happened in Pittsfield. It will cost each of you a fortune in legal fees and union dues and that will be nothing compared to the cost of losing your jobs. So I would think long and hard before sacrificing your savings and your futures just to send a message. If you have any further questions you can direct them to… to Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Josh Porter, Stamford.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "And Michael Scott, Scranton.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Fine Michael. Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Nervous, no I’m not nervous. Well, I guess I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was a little nervous. Umm, the new CFO is judging me on this too, and well, it is Michael, so. Yeah, I’m very nervous.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "OK. [looks toward Craig] Craig,", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Um, I’m sorry, what did you think financial presentation meant?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Craig, you realize that we’re trying to decide whether if drastic steps need to be taken?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, the point is, is that doesn’t exactly bode well for your branch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "NO, NO I’m not, I’m not, I just… I just don’t know what to do anymore, Michael. I mean, we’re all gonna get fired.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yeah, Michael – the CFO thinks that we slept together. Do you understand, people get fired for much less? And I just [scratches head] can’t believe that you told everybody and we didn’t even sleep together.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh, God. Michael. It was months ago. It was once, It’s over. Do you understand?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Surely, you cannot be serious?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Uh, that’s fine. Let’s just forget it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh, Michael. Thank you again for that, really. It was very nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh, no, it’s OK. [Puts hand in way of elevator door to stop from closing.] So, uh, Happy valentine’s Day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hello, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m… returning your call, you said it was urgent.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, today’s not my birthday, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "…Happy birthday, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Am I on camera?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on the phone] Michael, I’m gonna get going. I really don’t think I need to be in this meeting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on phone] Yeah, but… Well, the fact of the matter is that your branch is currently number four of the five branches that I oversee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You know that I’m very serious here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I thought that you were their fearless leader.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[laughs] I think you can handle it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I think so, Michael…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Goodbye, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You know, I… I thought about it and you are right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I could use a little fun. So, I am going to drive up for your Casino Night.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Incidentally, what is the charity?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay, then. I will see you tonight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Bye-bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What are you… Just… Wait, what’re you talking about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No. No, you didn’t. Hi, I’m Jan. I’m Michael’s boss.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Does anyone want a drink?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay. [Carol stares at Michael]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Cosmopolitan, please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, it’s part of the job, you know? Keep an eye on things. So… Why not? So, how long have you and Michael been…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Casino Night in the warehouse. Good sport.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh, me too. Me too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, I…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I didn’t… I don’t know…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Smoke?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Fabulous time. I drove two and a half hours to get here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Left work early, drove down here. And I am completely underdressed", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Why did I hook up with Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "It was very late, Jim. Very… Very late and… Have you given any more thought to the transfer?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Good. Have you told anyone?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, you should.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hey. I’m leaving.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So, I just wanted to congratulate you on a fantastic evening. You did the company proud.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "And thanks for inviting me. You were right, I needed it. So, thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Nice to meet you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "And you guys have a good time together.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You know, it’s amazing to me that in this day and age, you could be so obtuse about sexual orientation.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "That’s not what it’s called.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Coming out, is a significant moment for a gay person, and they should be allowed to select the timing and manner of announcing it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "NO!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, it’s not possible.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You know, imagine… you were gay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, your immaturity is extremely disappointing and may even lead to a lawsuit which is the absolute last thing this company needs right now. Do you understand?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on speakerphone] Okay, what is your goal for after lunch?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[under breath] Heaven help us. [aloud] Specifically.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Specifically, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on speakerphone] Are you on the toilet, Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, I know sometimes you are and… that you wouldn’t tell me, so I’m just going to assume that you are, and call me back when you’re finished.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh, hey!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "We all checked in?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Great, let’s dump our stuff and meet back here in half an hour.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What are you talking about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Step away from me, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Great!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What have you generated, Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What party?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, um… Jim and Josh are in meetings all day. And I am in and out of meetings. I can’t stay on top of you 24/7.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, Michael, I underestimated you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[Jim, Josh, and Jan walk in the hotel lobby] Josh, um… [Jim continues walking ahead] Why don’t you come up to my room for a couple of minutes and we can just go over the schedule for tomorrow together.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "A quick drink?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[putting on a good face] Great! [walks off]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[walking into an empty office because everyone is watching Varsity Blues] Hello?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hello? [Angela coughs and points to the conference room]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "How would a movie increase productivity Michael? How on earth would it do that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Magically?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[answering the phone] Hello?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Who is this?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You should talk to Michael, and he’ll talk to me, and that way we don’t have to speak to each other.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What about him?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "It’s not about a surprise party is it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Look, I am already an hour outside of Scranton, Dwight, I’m not coming back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "How do you know I like that store?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "How do you know that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No it’s not. It’s officially not.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What would you do differently?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Dwight, you must feel strongly, to speak with me this way, behind Michael’s back, and turn on so many of your co-workers.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[thinks for a second] Where is it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on speakerphone with Michael] Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I just had a very interesting conversation with one of your employees.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, it wasn’t. Dwight just told me that he thinks he can run the branch better than you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Mm-hmm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You can’t have people undermining you. Get control of your branch immediately.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hey, Jim?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "How’s work going?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[kills Jim’s character, giggles] Oh, you know what, I gotta see Josh right now, but remind me to tell you what Dwight said to me earlier, okay? You’ll get a big kick out of it. [leaves]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on speakerphone] So, I wanted to let you know that we lost Ed Truck.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, Ed died over the weekend.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on speakerphone] I understand how you feel, Michael. I really do. So, would it be helpful to give everyone the day off?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, what would you suggest?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Of Ed?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[scoffs] I’m not sure that’s realistic.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "No, that’s not—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What the hell are you two talking about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You know what, Michael? I’ve really tried with you today…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "…and I have to get back to work.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So call me when you feel like having a real conversation.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Goodbye. [hangs up]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[on the phone] Ed Truck died over the weekend.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yeah. And I know… I know he was your boss, so I thought you should know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yes, they know, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I guess, yes. I think it would be appropriate for you to make an announcement to your team, in case they want to pay their respects.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Tell me what you did yesterday.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Nothing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I don’t care how your day was Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Tell me what you did yesterday.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hi, Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m great. So, Pam I would like you to keep a log of everything Michael does hour by hour so we can analyze it at corporate. Ok?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Thanks Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What I want, Michael, is an hour-by-hour log of how you spend your work time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Zoning out?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "If you can account for your time…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "…then maybe corporate can justify your salary.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael, what is this about you letting everyone leave work early today?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What is Diwali?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Mich—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yes, of course, I know Kelly.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I thought she was Muslim.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, I think it sounds lovely. I think it sounds like a good idea.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yes, of course. It’s important to celebrate our company’s rich diversity. And, and in fact, Michael, if you had planned better, we might have been able to charter a bus to the event—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "—or, or, or been a sponsor for the party itself.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hey, one person is an integral part of the fabric—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "The board voted last night to close your branch.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "The board’s.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m very sorry. I don’t relish telling you this. You’ve been a big part of this company, and the board asked me to thank you for your years of service.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "A small number of people will be transferred to the Stamford branch, and the rest will be getting severance packages.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, we haven’t made final decisions about personnel yet. But you’re a severance package person.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, it’s not all about numbers, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "It’s… it’s about talent.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our company’s future.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Oh, good. You’re both here. Ready to talk logistics?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So, Josh will be running what is now called Dunder-Mifflin ,Northeast, which is all the offices north of Stamford. And Jim, fi you want the job, you’ll be his number two.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Awesome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Wha… excuse… why not?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Today?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You leveraged your new position with us into another offer?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Damn it, Josh. This whole restructuring thing was based around keeping you. I…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "I’m gonna make some calls.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "So… we are still scrambling here. But uh, it looks like Scranton is going to absorb Stamford.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "And I know that you just left there a couple of months ago, but we would like to offer you the number two position at that branch.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Ah. Well, please think about it. And call me. We will do whatever we can to get you to stay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[in Scranton] Where’s Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[looks around, noticing that no one is working] Wha… what’s going on here?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Ah, god. Okay. You know what everybody? I’m sure there is a better way to do this but I’ve drive something like 400 miles today and I’m completely exhausted so I’m just gonna tell you. Your branch is not closing; Stamford is closing. Um, for the time being, it seems that all your jobs are safe.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Well, reasons are not important. Would you just call him, please? Wherever he is… and tell him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Back?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Uh, we don’t know. Probably. A few.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Did you fire Tony Gardner when he was trying to quit?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Do you realize, Michael, that we now have to pay him severance?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "You do?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "What? No. No. No, Jim is your Number Two.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "He’s the only one who has worked with both groups. I sent you a memo about this.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "[over phone] Mmhmm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "We get that money for hiring an ex-convict.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "When did the check come?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Okay, that’s when the branches merged, so Josh must have been taking advantage of this program. Smart move.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Uh, reformed convict, and, uh, I’m not sure. Though hang on, let me email our HR, stay on the line.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "…Okay it’s someone named Martin Nash.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jan", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 28 + } + ], + "todd-packer": [ + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Hey, you big queen.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Hey, is old Godzillary coming in today?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "I’ve been meaning to ask her one question. Does the carpet match the drapes?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[on the phone] Mello.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[on the phone] Is this Michael Scott? My secret lover. My intercom, I told you never to call me here. Never! [Michael’s laughing]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[on the phone] Bergerstein!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[on the phone] Bergerstein!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[on the phone] I want my money back you greedy Hebrew. Bergerstein!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[sounds sick on the phone] I can’t make it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[on the phone] I… I’m not coming.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[on the phone] Oh, God! Stop whining. You know, you only come to the pick up game once a year. You little bitch. [Michael picks up phone, takes it off speakerphone] All right, yup. Hey, okay. No problem, you know, best you can do. Hey, you know. Hey, nice talking to you too. All right take care. [sighs] Michael Scoot. That’s funny. He’s a good friend.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "What has two thumbs and likes to bone your Mom? [points at self] This guy!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[makes laser gun noises]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "bleep, bleep. What’s up, Halpert?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Still queer?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Are you kidding? Everyone knows why! You don’t know? Okay, check this out. Al lright. So here’s the story. So Randall is nailing his secretary, right? And she is totally incompetent.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "We’re talking blonde incompetent.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Like 10 words a minute… talking.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "They are women, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "I said it. And then, suddenly, for no reason, this bimbo blows the whistle on the whole thing just to be a bitch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Meant to ask you, can you think you can get someone to drive me around because of the, uh, DUI situation?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[to Ryan] Come on, kid. Let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Why does everyone ask me that? Who the hell is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Don’t ever let this little bitch drive you around town. We got, uh, lost for half an hour.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Where is Michael Snot? Sniffing some dude’s thong? Probably.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "There he is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "There he is. Good one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "So a guy goes home, tells his wife, “Honey. Pack your bags. I just won the lottery.” She goes, “Oh my god! That’s incredible! Where are we going?” He goes, “I don’t know where you’re going, just be out of here by five!” [men laugh] Boom!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "There’s this guy. He’s at a Nymphomaniac Convention. And he is psyched ’cause all these women are smokin’ hot perfect 10’s, except for this one chick who looks a lot like, uh… [points at Phyllis]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Ex-squeeze me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Oh my. They really got to you, didn’t they?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[grabbing Michael around the neck] Merry Christmas, asswipe!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "[rapping] What’s up my nerds. Check it out. [points at the mistletoe stuck down his pants]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Pacman need a drinky.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Todd Packer", + "text": "Hello, yes. I’m looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "phyllis": [ + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "So what does downsizing actually mean?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Well, uh, for decorations, maybe we could… it’s stupid, forget it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I was just going to say, maybe we could have streamers, but that’s dumb, everybody has streamers. Never mind.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Well, there’s green, um, blue… yellow… red…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, boy… You…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Keep me out of it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’d like to play if it’s just for fun. I played basketball in school.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I have a sports bra.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’ll do it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Live and learn.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "[whispering] It’s about Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Dwight, get out of here!!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "What were you doing in the ladies room?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Why were you peering over the stalls?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You are a pervert!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You, are, a pervert!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "But where would we…go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "This says “Bushiest Beaver”.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "It’s, it’s fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Dwight, get out of here!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You can’t be in here!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Shut up. You’re a freak!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You are…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m telling Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m telling Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Michael, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Dwight was in the ladies’ room and he was looking at me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "He was looking at me in the ladies’ room.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "That’s what I said. He was spying in the ladies’ room.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Write him up or I’ll take it to Jan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "When?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "All relationships? Eh, even a one-night stand?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m the same age as you, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "We’re in the same High School class.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Michael! Come on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You don’t have to worry. I’m not going to…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "…report you to HR.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’ll do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Are you calling me a ho?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "What do you mean?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, you say that every time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, boy…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Um, The DaVinci Code.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Definitely Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Come on, Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Yeah, I like Oscar.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "That’s great!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "What are you? A monk?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Ass.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "That’s the character’s name?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Sir, you have some messages.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "They’re important.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "First message is:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Do you think they’ll get the account. [Stanley stares at her] How come you never answer me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Does he die?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You tell me. Well, you do mean you and Jim right? Oh God. I am so sorry, I thought, you guys hang out all the time and you’re talking all the time. I’m sorry!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "[singing] Here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I’ve ever known…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Dwight…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, this isn’t good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You don’t even know what I’m talking about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, I’m sorry. I gave you a penguin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Yes, I got those cute little ones. [Angela looks at her disapprovingly] Do you think I should have gotten the big ones?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m sorry, everybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I knitted it for you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Hi guys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Does everybody know my boyfriend, Bob Vance?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m bringing someone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I invited someone to the party. Bob Vance. He works at Vance Refrigeration next door. That’s how we met. [whispers] He’s my boyfriend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Where are we going this afternoon?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "A furnace?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "What does the furnace do?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Michael, everyone in the engine room drowned.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Are you all packed?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Maybe Florida.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "[to Angela] So this is…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh. Someplace with a pool, then?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Michael, you should stay home and rest.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Um, I had scoliosis as a girl.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, we wouldn’t. We love Stevie Wonder.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You’re gonna compete against us?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "20 cartons of it’s coming, on it’s way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m good at computer stuff, emails, spreadsheets, all that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I don’t know. I thought that I wasn’t going to be asked that…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Really? I thought they were pretty…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "…and a big walk-in closet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "She’s real good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m excited about today. [whispers] I love girl talk.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Mistake.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "That must have been hard.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Mmmm, I think we’re all okay with the balance we’ve struck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Isn’t he sweet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Really, Oh, they’re from Bob again.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Goodnight Pam. [Leaves with oversized bear on back.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m gonna go call Bob.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Hey, I heard you got a wedding dress. Do you have pictures?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Unbelievable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "It’s unbelievable!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Her nephew’s in Iraq.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "What are we supposed to talk about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I would like to toast to the good fortune I’ve been having lately…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I, uh, I met a man and I’m totally in love, and that’s a chapter of my life that I thought had closed. Uh, I was terribly depressed for the longest time and I have to admit I had some very dark thoughts…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "How about pepperoni?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "When should we bring out the cake, one or one thirty?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Where do we get those?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Yes, it’s marijuana.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "It’s labeled.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "We don’t feel that way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "He asked if you’ve been acting withdrawn lately.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I said no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You’re welcome.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "It’s not me, either.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh I got the ‘Save The Date’.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Yeah, pretty stationery.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Uh, on or off?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Okay… [removes glasses]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "[leaving the room] Excuse me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "No, I never said any such thing. Angela and I are close.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Stanley and I are close, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I know you keep saying it’s your space, even though there’s no assigned parking, but I keep forgetting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I guess so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "[whispering to Angela] I don’t like you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "But I didn’t report your snoring-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, dear.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You must have misdialed. This is Phyllis. No, I’m not sure what his extension is. [glares at Stanley as he glares right back]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Come on, Dwight, I think it’s actually healthy to get it off your chest.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 72, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You’re arrogant and pompous, and I don’t like you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 72, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Afghani.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Afghani.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Okay, let’s do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, thank you, Bobby. But it doesn’t matter, it’s just fun to play.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I have an ace.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, I have a flush!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Look, I won! Look I have all the clovers! You wanna play again?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Ass.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m getting married to Bob Vance.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "No, you knew me in high school. Course, we all thought you were gay in high school.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Well with your ties and your matching socks and —", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You should order the most expensive thing on the menu, so he knows you’re worth it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, yeah. You’ll have to put out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "[Pam walks out of the bathroom wearing her new red shirt] Woooooow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "It’s really something.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You’re kidding…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Michael, what will you do?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Maybe I’ll quit.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "That’s a shame. Ed was a good guy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Okay that’s enough.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Well, there is a ball.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’m just saying hi to Bob.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "What’s on your suit?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Ok, so, between Meredith’s Mini-van and if I borrow Bob’s Yukon that should fit about twelve people.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Isn’t this fun? Not wearing shoes?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Hey guys. Uh, I’m trying to organize a little group lunch for everybody since you know, we’re never gonna see each other again.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I thought maybe DJ’s.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Okay, forget it. [walks away]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "We know the branch is closing; Michael told us.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Stanley! [hugs Stanley]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Hey, I hear Jim’s coming back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I was…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "[to Pam] I’ll tell you later.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "What smell?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, I’ll help you find it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "What is it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "My perfume?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in Metropolitan Orlando. It’s made from real pine.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You have a lot to learn about this town, sweetie.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, we find little times during the day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Bob Vance has an air pump. He said he’d fill all our tires up.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I can’t feel my toes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I like goose. If it’s already dead is it so crazy we eat it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "But we invited guests.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I thought you said green was whorish.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "It’ll be all right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "You should, you should put out salt for the rims [referring to margaritas]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I was just getting a snack.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Oh, ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Cold, huh?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Maybe that’ll help. Is it cold in there?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "[under her breath] There’s another party in the break room.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Where would you like the Rice Krispy Treat stars?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "Sugarplum fairy wands.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Phyllis", + "text": "I’ll just go get a ginger ale.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 85, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "stanley": [ + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "It could be out of your hands Michael.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Can you promise that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "It’s just that we need to know.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "You can’t say for sure whether it’ll be us or them, can you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Fine. How are you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I admire your culture’s success in America.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Who am I supposed to be?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "It’s collard greens.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "It’s collard greens.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "There’s no dental, there’s no vision, there’s a $1,200 deductible.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[looks at keys, continues talking on phone] …the light green or green…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Oh, thanks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "This isn’t the big surprise, is it? Because we’ve been having a pretty horrible day.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "What about confidentiality?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "We all think you don’t have a surprise.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Why’d you do this?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Last year, five years ago…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I’m sorry?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Why “of course”?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "What’s that supposed to mean?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Oh, my ankle!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Oh, actually no I don’t Michael.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[in pain] Oh. Go away.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Hmmm…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Is that from the machine that was in your office?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I thought that was the incentive prize for the top salesperson.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I don’t know where they are, I think I threw them out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I think I did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Say, we got to order some more apa-teezers this time. We ran out last year, remember?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "You said, we could bring our families.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I did, my wife’s name is Terri.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "It’s this person who’s hand I’m holding Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Well, well, last year, I got great work, so I don’t…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "So, I don’t know what to think about this award. But at least I didn’t get smelliest bowel movement like Kevin. [starts chuckling]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "That is my daughter. She goes to Catholic girls’ school. I am taking it down right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Yeah, I got a game. It’s called “work hard so my kids can go to college.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "A little bit more and I would have had it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Oscar!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Ooh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "That’s one book. You’ve got two others.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Okay, um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Come on people, you know the rules of the game now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Okay. It’s called Who Would You Do?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I have a client who watches that movie once a week, at least.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I should put you in touch with him. Maybe we could get together and work on that account.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "To the.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[laughs, and imitates Donald Trump] You’re fired. Get your fingers off my phone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Something wrong, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Yeah, We’re not doing that. I have kids in college. Make a decision.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I don’t want to stay until seven again this year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Michael, can’t your conversation wait till Monday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I don’t care.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Excuse me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Hi, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "No. Are those purchase orders signed?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Huh? What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Are those purchase orders signed?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Look, I just want to have a job, Michael. If we don’t get these purchase orders…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I’m sorry, Phyllis. No, I don’t think they’ll get the account.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Oh, yes. Let’s listen to it again. And this time, really listen to the pauses.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Oh, no, that’s ok. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "It’s all about my bonus.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I’m back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I think I do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I didn’t think the premium laser color copy batch would sell as well as it did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "It’s fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Oh, good one. [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I know how to plug something in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[after Ryan opens a new gift – a nameplate saying ‘Kelly’] That was meant for Kelly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "And you should have just bought a $20 gift like everyone else.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "All right, I’m done now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Stanley Hudson.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I need to know…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "What we’re doing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "You said bring a toothbrush.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Is this an overnight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Should my wife tell her boss she’s not coming in tomorrow?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Not maybe. Yes or no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "In January?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[storms out of Michael’s office] Well, we’re not going to Florida.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[gives Phyllis a look]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I’m not disabled and neither are you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Mailboxes, Etc.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I’m on the phone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "What is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Hmm?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[on phone] Excuse me one second, please. [to Michael] What is it that you need right now that you can’t wait until I’m off the phone with a customer?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "That’s not what a hate crime is.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "…cases of typical format and coated white paper. Okay, thanks again so much. All right, bye-bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "A sale.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Big.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Just big.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Big.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "This here is a run-out-the-clock situation. Just like upstairs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Go ahead. Get the wallpaper. Wallpaper the ceiling if you want. Call Terri and tell her she…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Why would this affect our bonuses?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "You said we were getting bonuses.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Cancel wallpaper.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Way to go, Ryan!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Michael, you remember my daughter, Melissa.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "She’s in middle school.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Mmhmm. What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "A little fishy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "That little girl is a child! I don’t want to see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Boy have you lost your mind? ‘Cause I’ll help you find it! Whatcha lookin’ for, ain’t nobody gonna help you out there! Jesus could come through that door and he’s not gonna help you if you don’t stop sniffing after my child!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Put that away and learn.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Learn why Daddy’s so cranky when he comes home from work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I brought my daughter Melissa in. That girl is very spoiled. That child has no idea what I have to deal with so she can have her little cell phone and spend all my money at that Steamtown Mall.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Mmhmm, happy birthday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "These are all the same?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Is this trip related in any way to your… birthday?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Is that supposed to be me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I do not think that is funny.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Hmmmpt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Where did you get these facts?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "They are not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "No, I don’t. I have a glass of red wine with dinner about once a week. For the antioxidants.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "And what did you say?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Excuse me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I didn’t say that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "We sit close.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Wednesdays, tearful. Tuesdays… [Dwight walks in and rummages through his complaint box]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "You gotta be kiddin’ me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[Under his breath] Will Lady Fortune give me a raise?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I am going back to my desk…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Annoying.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "If you do that, you’re going to have to put out.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "But… why Dwight?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "How does that qualify him to run a branch?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[standing at the supply shelf] I’m on the phone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "We do not wanna hear about this.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "You have just spit on my face.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "[throwing ball back] Nope.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I will NOT. [throws ball back]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "No, I’m done.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I’m having trouble getting my work done today.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little, but on Pretzel Day? Well, I like pretzel day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "No way.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Boooooo. Booooo. Back of the line.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "This is Pretzel Day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Thank you! [takes pretzel]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Three hundred and sixty four days, ’till the next Pretzel Day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "There’s four things that I love. My wife, my daughters, Pam Grier, and a hot, chewy roll of buttered dough.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I do not know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "That’s what she said. [Stanley and Michael both laugh]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I couldn’t be happier. I’m gonna take the severance and retire. My wife and I are gonna travel. [chuckles] I really couldn’t be happier.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I don’t know who these new people think they are. I’ve sat downwind of Phyllis’ stinky perfumes for years. Never said a word.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Back to work. We don’t have to get along. We just have to work together.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Got an hour? I’ll try to explain.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Trust me. It only gets worse.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Fantastic.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I’m going back inside.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "You can’t cancel a holiday.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "What does that mean?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Fruity and delicious.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "I’m going to the party in the break room, because they have more chairs in there. If I have to stand around a long time, I get real unpleasant to be around.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Stanley", + "text": "Oh, you’re gonna face far greater problems than I can possibly help you with.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 88, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "oscar": [ + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "You guys better update your resumes just like I’m doing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Can’t you just tell us.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah but Michael, what if they downsize here?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It’s my job to keep the books in order. And, um, I… I’m, uh, immediately below my supervisor.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "There’s a lot of anxiety. I don’t want to get laid off. This place is like five minutes from my house.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Can I just say one thing? Um, my friend is Jewish, Art Geller. And a couple of years ago he, um, showed me how you can plant a tree in Israel, so I planted a tree. So… You know ’cause… Yeah we work in paper. Well, you know, I try to give back.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It was fine.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Martinez.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "He literally won’t come out of his office.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Michael, can I talk to you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It’s like a pay decrease.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "This is not good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What was that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I don’t know, Kevin. This is important. I don’t want… [spots Michael through the blinds] There he is.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I don’t know.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Well?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "OK, the health care plan.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Well, you have no right to ask those questions.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Because I don’t want my benefits slashed.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I’m reporting you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Michael I need to talk to you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "[opens door] Michael.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Michael, Michael I… [blinds rustle] … inside.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Oh, yeah. Here’s the rest of them.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Uh, I’m sorry to bother you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "My nephew is involved with, um, a charity for cerebral palsy, and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to… you know… if…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Donate to the charity?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "That’s… that’s… that’s very generous.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Well, that’s what a walk-a-thon is.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It says it right on the sheet. Look, look at the sheet. It says, “However many dollars per mile.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I just think it’s kind of cheap to un-donate money to a charity.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Last year, he walked 18 miles.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "How old is she?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Uh, nice party Michael.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Per mile.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Thank you, Michael.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "My nephew does it every year. Anything you could give would be fantastic.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I never suggested…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Michael, if I gave you…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "How old is she?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I can help out, if you need me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What time do we have to come in?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I’m on the phone.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "[in video] That’s supposed to be confidential.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "The Dundies are kind of like a kid’s birthday party, and you go, and there’s really nothing for you to do there. But the kid’s having a really good time, so you’re, kind of there. That’s-that’s kind of what it’s like.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I think many people find that character slightly racist.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Look, I’m just saying that there are many people that are offered by your insensitive skits.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I saw it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah. It’s a terrible system, I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Eh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It’s a scoreboard.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Kevin and I play this paper football game when Michael’s out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Sweet!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "You should ask Toby to teach you Dunderball.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Pair of shoes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Ah…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I mean, you’ve got, you’ve got stuff here. You rented “Mermaids.” You can’t… It’s a movie. You can’t deduct that, you know that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Remember last year he slipped by with “Stripes.” He rented “Stripes,” he had it for a week.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "And that got through, so maybe he’s thinking he can do that from now on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "[in background, on phone] But it says no late fee… .", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "[in phone] No, I don’t hear it? Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "[in phone] No, no. Finish the…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What are you implying?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yes?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "This is great. [Angela shakes her head] Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Oh… hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Oh. [fixes his dress]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Signed what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Just chocolate. Angela? For the last time, I did not eat your chocolate-vanilla swirl.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "She had done a background check on me, she had it printed out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah. And she was asking me about stuff, line by line, while we were having dinner.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Ok, that’s a joke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Mr. Scarn, perhaps you would be more comfortable in my private jet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah, now it doesn’t make any sense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No, they just made out. That’s it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Today is performance-review day, company-wide, and I’m a little concerned about my review. I exceeded my sick days and my personal days because I just couldn’t take it. And I don’t have a good answer for him, when he asks me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Michael, I don’t know what to say.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yes, I’m in accounting and I’m sorry and all the extra days. I know I passed my limit.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Hey, what’s the deal, Michael? Why are you spying on our computers?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Actually, it’s just-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Ok…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Tin Man. Actually we just a got a memo from IT saying you’re doing e-mail surveillance.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I’m on a call.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah, it surprised us all. I’ll tell you why. Because when they—", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I got Creed. And to tell you the truth, I don’t know anything about Creed. I know his name’s Creed. I know he works right over there. I think he’s Irish and I .. I got him this shamrock keychain.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "[rips off the wrapping] Shower radio. Neat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Thanks, Kelly. You know I was gonna get one of ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Why are we doing this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I’ll take the … teapot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "You got a bonus check?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I’m in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Michael? Poor Richard’s?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Towards me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Towards me. That’s good, towards me. Towards me. Towards me, towards me. Okay, I’m good. I’m good, I’m good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Creed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Man, I really wanted that. I really wanted the shower radio, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I’ll take the tea pot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No, I just like tea.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Kelly had me last year, too, and she gave me the same exact thing. I only have one shower.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I guess I’ll take the last gift. Cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What did you end up with?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 81, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "You like music at least?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 81, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "You’re kidding. What was your DJ name?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 81, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Turns out that Creed is a pretty interesting guy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 82, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Last year, Michael’s theme was “Bowl over the Competition!” So guess where we went.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Where do you guys think we’re going?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I don’t know what the categories are of workers on a boat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "…Lord of the Rings trilogy, if you see it back to back, it’s really long. But it’s good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What’s up, Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Ok…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "[Jim popping Michael’s bubble wrap cast] You should put butter on it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Hello.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Hello?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah I think I came down with the flu.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yeah, I feel terrible about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I have the chills.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I feel nauseous and my heads killing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Michael is there anything you need from me? I’d like to go back to bed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I’ll just be sleep— [Michael hangs up the phone before Oscar can finish]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Are you going to tell Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Hey, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Hey, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What happened in Michael’s office was wrong. I understand it [chuckles], it makes sense [regains composure] But it… it was still wrong.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It’s just that we’re really swamped over here, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Are you kidding? I thought it was you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "The best present would be, you do a good job in front of the new CFO.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "My mom. [puts card in pocket]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Happy Valentine’s Day, Meredith.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Here you go, Creed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "That’s great, man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I get here early every morning so I can set the thermostat. I like it a little cooler, around 66 degrees. I’m more productive. Maybe some people don’t like it as cold as I do, but I don’t care.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What the hell is going on here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I’ve got a time share in Key West that might be available.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Is that Chet Montgomery?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Melissa. Hey. I was working. I was in the middle of something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I was in the middle of something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Stanley.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Who is this guy again?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "This sounds like a get rich quick scheme.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Skin cancer is treatable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It’s going to be okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "…I’ll do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It wasn’t me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What is this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No, I have not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What are you implying?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Okay. I’m done with this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "So Pam told me that you do a great Stanley impression, I’d love to hear it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Is that true, Toby?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "You were the one joking around calling Dwight a narc.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "How?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No, how could it reach the moon? Like, would you make it into a rope, or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It’s like child abuse. I say, if Jesus saw that, he’d freak out! He’d freak out, Toby! I mean on some levels… it’s… and I’m supposed to work there. I’m supposed…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Angela!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Since Christmas.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What’s the next one?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I don’t like looking at it. It’s creepy, and in bad taste, and it’s just offensive to me. It makes me think of the horrible, frigid stage mothers who force the babies into it. It’s kitsch. It’s the opposite of art. It destroys art. It destroys souls. This is so much more offensive to me than hardcore porno. I’m talking about the…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "How ’bout, she takes it down?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Again? We do that every year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "It’d be nice to do something for people who are actually suffering.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Let it ride. Let it all ride.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No, that’s a flush.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What’s going on, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No, it’s fine.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "That sounds like a great, wonderful idea, let’s do that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No, I’m not gay. And I don’t understand why anyone would think, that I’m gay… if… [sighs] Uh… yeah I’m gay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yes I’m super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company, Scranton. Much like, um, sir Ian McClellan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Am I the first gay man you ever knew?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "What are you doing?!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yes I’m gay. And I didn’t plan on sharing that part of my life with you today, so, whatever. Can I sit down now?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No one else in this office is gay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "You sound pretty defensive Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I think the problem with this office is that you are sending mixed signals about my being here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I don’t think I can work here any longer. This has been the worst, most backwards day of my life.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I would rather not.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "No, NO! I don’t want to touch you, ever consider that? You’re ignorant, and insulting, and small!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Michael… I’m sorry. That was a good idea. Come on, come on. [Oscar and Michael hug]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "I was going to quit. But Jan offered me a three month paid vacation and a company car. All I had to do was sign something saying I won’t sue. Gill and I are going to Europe. Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "[Dwight is running the gay-dar over Oscar’s body] What are you doing?!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Yes, I’m gay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Oscar", + "text": "Too soon. [both turn back around and walk out]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "angela": [ + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I bet it’s gonna be me. Probably gonna be me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "My name is Angela and um, I’m in charge of the accounting department. There are three of us, Kevin and Oscar.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Oscar, how do I describe him. He’s like a stapler. Do I need a stapler? Yes. But, I’m still the one that has to push it down.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Not very worried about downsizing right now. Because, uh, I think you’ve met Kevin and um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I have a lot of cat figurines on my desk. I think cats, really, are old souls. And, uh, Phyllis thinks so too.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Stop…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Kevin! That’s inappropriate.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It’s ridiculous. Did you talk to him?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You let him walk all over you. It’s just pathetic.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Nothing, Kevin.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What about the surprise?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No, yeah, I think that’s a good idea.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What color do you guys think?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I think green is kind of whoreish.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Meredith’s allergic to dairy, so…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No, it’s ah…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Phyllis wanted red, I didn’t.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What is this?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Okay, but I don’t want to be put on a mailing list.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Has anyone seen the first-aid kit? [Dwight holds the kit up] How many times have I told you? I’m the safety officer, not you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You’re ahead.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "This is a cold pack…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "They’re one per person. [points to sign “Please take one!!]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[Dwight holds the first aid kit up] I’m the safety officer, not you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Is that really necessary?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I don’t like to necessarily touch things. I’m just… I’m shopping.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yeah, uh no.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Gray. Dark Gray. Charcoal.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yes, I’m the designated driver, which is very important. We need everyone to get home safely. [sighs] But no one ever gives me gas money, and people live all over. It’s expensive.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I don’t talk about what goes on in the restroom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I don’t says those kinds of things out loud. It’s inappropriate.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Email forwards.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I hate them. You send me these filthy emails and you say forward them to ten people or you’ll have bad luck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It’s fake.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "She wouldn’t do that. She’s a Senator.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You play that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I do play games. I sing and I dangle things in front of my cats. I play lots of games. Just not at work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I have one, yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I call it Pam Pong. I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Apparently.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It’s not an office expense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Next year, you should file your stuff in a basket.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Okay! Everybody!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Do not panic!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Safety partners.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Do not panic.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Go in single file lines.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Arms at your sides! Arms at your sides!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Go, let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Alright, let’s go, let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Come on, you’re safety partners!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You’re safety partners!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "The Bible.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "A Purpose Driven Life.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "The DaVinci Code!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I would take The DaVinci Code… so I could burn The DaVinci Code.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "My name is Angela.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You can’t go in yet!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yes, there is a real fire, but it’s okay. Everyone got out fine. This is why you practice these things.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You know, I don’t know. We put them all up last night.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "But we don’t keep two sets of books.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Well, I looked through all the budgets. And there is one department…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "… that has three people…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "… doing the work that could be done by two.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Those aren’t chips and dip.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Uh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m just trying to figure out why you’re sabotaging things.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "And I made cookies. Same category.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[watching nearly everyone leave] What about the Halloween party?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Have you signed the expense reports yet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Michael, did you finish yet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "This is illegal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Do you think he’s signed them yet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Forget it. Is that chocolate-vanilla swirl?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I don’t know why I write my name on things.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I have to say, I think this is a terrible movie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth beauty pageant circuit. And I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up very well to even severe scrutiny.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Don’t talk about it. Office romances are nobody’s business but the people involved.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It’s ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No. Are we supposed to?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Hmm… [Pam reaches towards vending machine] Excuse me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m just leaving for the day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Charity. Bake drive.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No, I’m not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I got sap on me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m a vegetarian.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Guh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I think it’s alright. Jesus drank wine. [Pam overhears]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[Oscar shakes his leg] You’re going to have to stop that. [Oscar moves over] I can still feel it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Is there anything we’re missing? Phyllis, you got the lights?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "We’ll see.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Fifty.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[having trouble with a plastic tablecloth as Pam stands idly by] Will you help me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It sounds mean.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Michael should have asked the party planning committee first. He’s not supposed to just spring things on us out of nowhere. [starts to cry]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’ll take the poster. Some people like these.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "There should be some ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You behaved very badly tonight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 83, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Hey, come inside and talk to me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I think you’ve had enough.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It’s alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What is wrong with you? [Dwight pats Angela on the rear and runs away laughing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Hey!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "He needs to go right now, and you’re his emergency contact. I think that you should go with him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I, barely know him…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Ooo! Who made popcorn? [Michael rubbing butter on his foot]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "He’s out sick.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I agree it’s unacceptable. [longing look]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "This is from Hooters.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Did Toby approve this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It’s nobody’s business, Phyllis. Roy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "We haven’t finished getting things in order from your last visit.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Were you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Obviously, this was Kevin. This is his sense of humor exactly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You could out-sell Michael any day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[disbelieving] Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’ve seen some of your spreadsheets.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m not gaining anything from this seminar. I’m a professional woman. The head of accounting. I’m in the healthiest relationship of my life. I just think it’s insulting that Jan thinks we need this. And, apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Are you married?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "At least you don’t have kids. You have no kids, right? Thank God.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Really? I wouldn’t know anything about that, but I’m glad you enjoyed it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I didn’t get anything for Valentine’s Day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Really? Well, I hope I do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Nothing for me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Are we out of jobs?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "The very best of luck to you, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[coughs] [sniffles] I am just feeling under the weather. And… I think that I will go home and rest.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Well, I’ve seen you take enough for the both of us.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Can you put that down there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No. Thanks. We’d… have to explain everything, it’s probably just easier if we do it ourselves.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I guess I wouldn’t mind a pair of small, well-behaved boys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You know, I never misbehaved in front of my father because he was a very strict disciplinarian. I can only hope my mate has some of those same qualities [makes eye contact with Dwight].", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Okay. I think five plain and one veggie should be fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Absolutely not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Fine. The first lesson we’ll teach children will be about obesity.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m the head accountant.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I can’t set that kind of precedent. She’s a bright girl. She’d see right through that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "One thirty. [Pam yawns] I’m sorry, are we boring you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No. This is a closed door meeting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You don’t know it’s going to be okay. Don’t give him false hope. …It’s probably nothing, though.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Bologna? I don’t eat bologna.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[grabs cake] Oh. Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What are— it’s… the party planning committee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yes… [whispering] but don’t expect any cookie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[whispering] No cookie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No one cares about your birthday. Kevin’s waiting to hear if he has skin cancer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m not afraid of dying. I know where I’m going. But if I were Kevin, I might be terrified. Gluttony.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I understand.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[smiles knowingly]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I don’t take any prescription drugs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[Gives Dwight a knowing look]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No, not at all.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Do you want to give Michael your urine?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You’re not going to get my permission on this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I look forward to drug testing. I used to get a runner’s high, which is why now I swim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I didn’t get mine yet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Can we go? I have a lot of work to do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Can we just skip to whatever number 5 is – win/win or whatever?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I got this poster for Christmas, and I feel I want to see it everyday. It makes me feel like the babies are the true artists, and God has a really cute sense of humor.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "That’s… no…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "How about, I leave it up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "But, it…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Oh. Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It was hand delivered. But, I did get a Save The Date after all. It’s not my taste.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You already did me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yes, that’s the problem.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You have to pick an approved, non-profit organization.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "We are giving money that has been gambled. Why don’t we just deal drugs or prostitute ourselves, and donate that money to charity?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Good evening, Dwight. What is this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Then roll an eight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Good luck, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[in reference to Oscar being gay] It explains so much.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Sure, sometimes I watch Will and Grace… and I want to throw up. It’s terribly loud. I do like it sometimes when Harry Connick Jr. is on. He’s so talented.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Watching some of your friends.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Judges and juries!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Sign.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "But I don’t understand. It’s for managers.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I know! It… I was just really hoping we could spend some time together. [A long silence.] Are you still there?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Don’t “Monkey” me! You can’t wait to get out of here, A. R. M.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "In the Martin family, we like to say, “Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly.” That’s code for “check out the slut.” What is… why are there flies in here?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "That was for per diem, for Philadelphia.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "That town is full of history!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Is there a key for Jane Doe? Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "D?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Sign.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I don’t approve. I don’t.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[walking past Dwight’s desk] Kitchen.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Michael is going to get us all fired. You sat back and let him play that dumb movie, and now Jan is peeved off and we’re all going to lose our jobs.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You know she has it out for him now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Dwight, you should be running this office.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It’s not up to Michael, it’s Jan’s call. Talk to her.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Fine! Sit back and do nothing and let us all get fired!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I know that patience and loyalty are good, and virtuous traits. But sometimes I just think you need to grow a pair.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Congratulations Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It’s really happening!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "We can make a difference here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You alone? Because I thought together we could—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[shakes her head disapprovingly]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I do not wanna talk about this.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "We really have a lot of work to do right now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "A dead bird should not be in the kitchen!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "But…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[quickly] Amen.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Okay. I don’t think Kevin should take his shoes off.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Sales take a long time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m sure Dwight will protect him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "He’s not weird, he’s just individualistic.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You’re a freak!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Don’t go. They eat monkey brains.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "How many gods do you have?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[points at picture on the wall] And that blue busty gal? What’s her story?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I find this incredibly offensive.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Well, whatever Kelly wants to do in her own house is fine but we shouldn’t all be subjected to it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I wish some of us still had our shoes on.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m a vegetarian. What can I eat?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’ll just have some bread. You used your hands.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Dry. You look like you were having fun.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I have to watch our shoes so they don’t get stolen. Who were you texting?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What about us, Michael? Do we still have jobs?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I don’t want to blame anyone in particular. I think everyone’s to blame.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I don’t want to go all the way to Dunmore.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No seafood.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Oh, now all of a sudden you get picky?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I do like it, actually.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Maybe that’s because some people treat it like their own private Hooters strip club.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You need a hair cut.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "His hair’s flipping out on the sides.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Oh, my Lord.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Jan, this is Angela Martin from accounting.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Look, we have a rebate from… the Federal Work Opportunity Program and no one knows what that means.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Last week.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "One of the Stamford people is a criminal?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Jan, which one of the new employees is a criminal?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Hmm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Andy?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Sure. Let’s protect the convicts. At the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Do you really expect us to believe you’re somebody else?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Don’t encourage him, Dwight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Phyllis, I need you to pick up green streamers at lunch.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No, orange is whorish.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It would never work here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "God help you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "These are all terrible ideas and none of them are on the theme of “A Nutcracker Christmas.” I think you should leave.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You tried this out, and it’s clearly not for you. It’s time to go. Come on. [Angela gets up from seat] Please. [Karen gets up and leaves] Thank you. OK, thank you very much. [Angela closes door]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "This should’ve been up yesterday. [refers to party flyer]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[Pam puts up another flyer] What is that? [Reads flyer] The “Committee to Plan Parties invites you to a margarita-karaoke Christmas?” There’s no such thing as the “Committee to Plan Parties.”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Well, you just can’t start a committee. You have to have funding.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Two hundred dollars.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No, that is not a party. There’s only one party and it’s hosted by the Party PLANNING Committee and it starts at three o’clock.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Phyllis?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Pam, don’t tell her what to do! Phyllis.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I have a very important announcement to make… about… your paychecks. Umm… Your paychecks will be arriving as scheduled on Friday. And they will be in the correct amount that they are normally in… Please stand by for a very important announcement… refer..[starts to leave office] for further regarding your paycheck! [runs outside]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[on cell phone to Dwight] I need to know if I can start the party?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Did Michael give you permission to do this?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[Angela slams phone shut and runs back to office.] Also, I would like to inform you that, um, as a special treat, my party will be starting early. In fact, it will be starting right now [opens door to conference room.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Welcome Hannah. You will not be disappointed.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I said you wouldn’t be disappointed. [Meredith heads towards break room.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Meredith, if you don’t come to my party, you will be very, very sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No, it’s an invitation.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Brownies. Cupcakes. [Kevin walks toward conference room]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I don’t back down. My sister and I used to be best friends, and we haven’t talked in 16 years. Over some disagreement, I don’t even remember. So… yeah. I’m pretty good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Try harder then. [Hannah smashes Nutcracker on top of nut. Sees Kevin take another brownie] Uh uh. No one has seconds until everyone’s had some.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You’ve got to be kidding. {Kevin takes bite of brownie]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Where’s Dwight?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Hey, excuse me! Waitress lady! Hey, where do you think you’re going with that? [refers to toy she just took from table]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "You can’t have it [takes back toy] I don’t walk into your house and steal your Hello Kitty backpack.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Did you have fun at Benihana’s?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’ve had the worse day here [turns up Nutcracker music on the stereo. [Sighs. Dwight reaches for and holds Angela’s hand]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m not sure. Does your karaoke machine have Christmas songs?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Oh, I may have seen it somewhere. [Goes to plant and picks up power cord] Is it this one?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[into another walkie-talkie] Copy, Possum. What’s your twenty?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[singing, with Dwight holding up microphone] Little baby, parum pum pum pum. I am a poor boy too, parum pum pum pum. I have no gift to bring, parum pum pum pum. That’s fit to give our King, parum pum pum pum..", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[singing] … Shall I play for you, parum pum pum pum [Oscar and Gil walk through door]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[singing] I played my drum for Him, parum pum pum pum. I played my best for Him, parum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "When Michael suggested canceling Christmas, I was outraged, not on my behalf, but on behalf of baby Jesus. I mean, would he cancel Christmas because he got dumped or he was two weeks behind on his party planning, on top of the fact that his cats were ill? I think not. I think baby Jesus would suck it up and plan his party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "This is ridiculous. I… I’ve spent so much time, like I always do. And for that little trollop to come in here and throw her own party… Are you even listening to me?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I want you to tell her to stop, Toby. Am I being clear?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "What are you…?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "And what…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No she shouldn’t.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[Angela slaps Toby on the face.] Stop it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, but I want to wake you up to the injustice that’s going on right in front of your face.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "Michael was so right about you. You are pathetic.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "They’re Sugarplum fairy wands.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "It’s like you weren’t even at the meeting.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "[Phyllis puts down phone] Hmm hmm. [Phyllis gets up and goes to Angela’s party]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 81, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "There’s no fizz in this punch. Phyllis!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 85, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Angela", + "text": "No, I’ve got it, Phyllis. Stay. Have fun. Eat your wand.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 85, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "kevin": [ + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah, it’ll be you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I don’t wanna be laid off. This is a good job for me. ‘Cause I need my nights free. I’m in a band.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I remember.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Basically, there are two types of black people and black people are actually more racist because they hate the other type of black people. Every time the one type wants to have a good time, then the other type comes in and makes a real mess.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "You wanna go to the beach?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "You wanna get high?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I think you do, mon.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[Italian accent]Maybe some spagh-etti.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "He’s got to come out sometime. To go to the bathroom.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "What are you guys talking about?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "That’s a real thing.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Someone has it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Do you think we should go ?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "What is he doing?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Italian.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Their bread’s really good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I have a hoop in my driveway.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I can’t work Saturday.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I’m in a band.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "It’s a Steve Miller Tribute Band.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "So are you jealous ’cause there’s another girl around?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "She’s prettier than you though.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[nods]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "What is your type?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Stay away from my mom.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Do you like Steve Miller?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "‘Cause I’m in a Steve Miller Tribute… Tribute Band.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[to waitress] Oh, just put these on the group tab.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I think his characters are pretty funny. Especially Ping.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "So, Pam, I wonder who’s gonna get “longest engagement” this year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I wonder what I’ll get. I brought my fiance.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "MILF!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "She wasn’t that hot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Phyllis?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Packer said it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "You mean where my desk is?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Okay. I have a lot of work to do anyway.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[Email chiming] [snickers] Did you see that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "You can see her…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "How do you know?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[paper football lands on desk] Ooh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Or when we’re bored.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "We’re bored a lot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Oh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "We call it Hate Ball.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Because of how much Angela hates it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Sometimes we play “Who can put the most M&M’s in their mouth?”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "It smells like cookies.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[empties bowl of M&M’s into his mouth]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yes, thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Please…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Please, please. Please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Present company excluded?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "What if he dies in the fire? And that’s the last thing you ever said to him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[clears his throat]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Was it worth it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Sixty-three, sixty-four, sixty-five, sixty-six, sixty-seven, sixty-eight. [snickering] Sixty-nine. Seventy. Seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Uh, Cannonball Run, Cannonball Run II, [snickering] Weekend at Bernie’s, Weekend at Bernie’s II, and, oh, Groundhog Day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I would love that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah. Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Stacy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Sweep the leg.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Later Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Don’t look at me. [smiles at camera]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Michael’s movie? Two thumbs down. [Smiles] Heh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Most of that is good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I heard they made out and had sex.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Well, I heard they made out and had sex.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Romances?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Oooo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Michael, should I call the… [Michael waves his hands] What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I gotta erase a lotta stuff. A lot of stuff.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "That’s pretty young.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[to Michael] Are you gonna eat with us?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "My brother is in town and we are going to see the Alaska Film Festival at the Scien-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[smacks Ryan’s hand] Not so fast… Fire Guy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[singing] Just turn around now, cause you’re not welcome anymore.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Why don’t you turn it up? [Ryan moves to turn up the grill] Uh! Not so fast… Fire Guy. Think we need some more heat, Fire Guy? Hey, Fire Guy, maybe we should burn Jim’s house down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hey, Kelly; I called him Fire Guy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah… hey Stanley-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "It never gets old.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[holds up the piece of tree he just cut off with a paper cutter] Well, sort of. Why did you get it so big?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "But what are we going to do with this hacked off part?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Do we have one?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn’t [smiles happily].", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Should we just keep opening up the presents?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I want the foot bath.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "That’s the thing I bought myself. I’m really psyched to use it. [pauses] Maybe I should have taken the iPod. Oh, shoot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Kevin Malone.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[listening to music through headphones] Yeahhh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Mine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Thanks for the party, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[Rap music playing] [singing] The time is now, the place is here And the whole wide world is filled with cheer My name’s DMC with the mike in my hand And I’m chilling and cooling just like a snow man", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[singing] So open eyes Lend us an ear We wanna say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year [Darryl whooping] Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I’m the DJ because I really know how to heat up a party.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 78, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Can you hop?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "What does that mean?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "The thing you just said?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Whhh… What are you guys doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Michael is that a wig?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Jim has got it bad for Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Well she’s the… Hey Michael so do you think Jim will try to break up the wedding?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Nice… she is so hot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "What’s goin’ on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[taking a look] I don’t think that’s vomit.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Oh, that’s ridiculous.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Michael. [tapping on door]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[pounding on door] Michael, I … I … I gotta get outta here. I can’t hold my breath that long.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "It smelled terrible.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "There are so many people with motives, even me. Almost everyone is a suspect. Whoever did this is a genius. [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[talking to Jim] I bet Roy heard about you liking Pam. I bet he’ll try to beat you up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I’ve got your back if he does. But try to stay out of it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[blows a sigh of relief]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "That sucks so much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Woah. [Delivery man with flowers]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Woah, woah [Delivery man with oversized bear]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Man, that thing’s bigger than I am.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Oh zip it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Whose it from? [to Oscar]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Not really, my fiance is out of town.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I’m not sure. Arizona? Sometimes she doesn’t tell me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[phone ringing] Hi, this is Kevin. Stacy? Happy Valentine’s Day. Yeah. Oh, awesome. Okay. Yeah, I’ll be leaving here soon. Cool. I love you, too. Okay, ‘bye. Stacy’s back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "You should go to Hedonism.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "It’s like Club Med, but everything is naked.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I’ve never, ever seen you take a sick day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I always set it at 69. [snickers]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "This… is my file cabinet. Uhm… oh. This… is the partition… between my desk… and Angela’s.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Abby’s my fiancee Stacy’s daughter, I think she’ll have a good time. I just hope she doesn’t look on my computer. …Actually, I’d better go check.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Go ahead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "What’re you doing? You never have plans.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Niiice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[whispering] Angela. Is it okay if I’m the head accountant today?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah, but can I say that I’m it, just for today?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "No. I’m still waiting.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "They said this afternoon. They’re waiting on a second opinion.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Um, I might have skin cancer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hello? Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "No, um, no not yet. I will. Bye. [hangs up] It was just Stacy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Still scary.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Well the doctor said a combination of interferon and dicarbazine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "If I go home now, I’ll just drive myself crazy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I can’t relax about it, you know?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "No, not yet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Okay, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hello? Yeah okay. Alright. Okay, I will, thanks. [hangs up] It was negative.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "This is awesome. Thanks, you guys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Can you please stop staring at me? [Dwight continues to stare and then walks away]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[nods] Hey…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[giggling]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "That is so good, Michael", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I’m not taking Rogaine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I’d like a magazine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I’d still like one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "So, uh… you found a band for your wedding yet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "‘Cause I’m in a band. We really rock.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I accept your decision!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "No, wait. [put on a hat] Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Morning.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Something with animals. Or people.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "We really don’t do a lot of weddings. We actually don’t play in public very often. We are all really hoping that Pam’s wedding works out. This could be a turning point for the band.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Come on, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Dwight, let’s keep it going. Let’s keep it going. Let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah, I think she’s full of it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Pam. Jim Halpert, ladies and gentlemen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I won the 2002 $2,500 No-Limit Deuce-to-Seven-Draw Tournament at the World Series of Poker in Vegas. So, yeah… I’m pretty good at poker.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "All-in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Three queens.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I suck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I do not want to talk about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Awesome. Did Pam say it was okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Dude, you will not be sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": ":", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "So did you hear?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Pam’s back on the market again.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "If I weren’t engaged, I would so hit that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Ok. Billy-Bob, got a head injury, but coach made him play. So then Lance, he gets sacked, he’s out for the year…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Do you have any savings?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Michael, you might lose your condo.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Nnnnice. Wow!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Me, me, me, me, me me. [catches ball] Yes. Okay, um. I was trying to throw this party once. And everyone was over for the weekend. And then my uncle Bernie died, and so me and my best friend, we had to pretend like he was alive, so…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Oh, I remember that. That was SO funny.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "…ces. [chuckles]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "May he rest in pieces. [chuckles] You know, because there’s, like, two pieces of him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "No. [chuckles]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Not really.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "My feet do not smell. Angela knows that hyperhidrosis is a medically diagnosed condition.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[Michael is listening to “Rock And Roll Part 2 by Gary Glitter” and everyone can hear it. Kevin singing in unison with the song] Hey! Hey!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Account…? Michael, what is going on?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Night, Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[in the kitchen and Stanley comes in and swipes Kevin’s pretzel without Kevin seeing] Shoot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Are you guys going to this Indian thing tonight?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Oooh. Do you mean like, is Pam going?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "She looks like Pam from the neck down.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "This is the best meeting we’ve ever had.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Stop it. It’s a disease! I’ve told you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Nice outfit.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "For Diwali 07, you must consider Scrantonicity. For a fraction of the cost of this DJ, you could have the rocking sound stylings of a Police cover band.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "No, okay, well, let me send you a demo, and… Better yet, I’ll give Kelly the demo, and she can give it to you. It’ll save us both on postage.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Excellent.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Well, some of us are fired and a few are going to Connecticut.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Where are we going?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "How about Cugino’s?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "How ’bout Cooper’s then?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "But, I don’t want to go to DJ’s.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hooters?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yes! [hugs Angela]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hey Pam, we’re going to Poor Richards. Creed’s buying shots.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[interupting] Hey Ryan, you coming?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Awesome. Let’s go, Phyllis.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Michael, I didn’t get a gift bag.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Can I have your pencils?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Oh, yes I can.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "In general, they do not give me much responsibility. But they do let me shred the company documents. And that is really all I need.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "This thing is so awesome. It will shred anything. Ooh! It will shred a CD. It will shred… a credit card. It will shred… oh! [whispers] Shoot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "The beef is poisoned?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Staples.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hey, man. Good. Listen, my M&M’s are under the desk if you want any.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hidden from [whisper] them.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "See you later, Jim.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[to Angela] It’s his first day back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[smiles] I like it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Kevin Malone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "What’s that on your shirt? [points to Andy’s shirt]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "The Penguin.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Okay, Penguin. [laughs]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Michael, have you met the Penguin?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Well… I… Hey. You’ve never met me before.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Well, thanks. I appreciate that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "You know who I really like? That guy, Andy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 71, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hmm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Andy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hmm. Martin?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Wait, why am I a racist?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "He is black… right? And…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I wonder what he did.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because… it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "You got outdoors time?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Michael, why don’t we get outdoors time?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I would so rather be in prison.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[knocking on door] Hey! Let us out of here! Hey! I have–", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "The tires look pretty worn.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "That’s not fair.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Hey. [Toby puts hand on Kevin’s back, who is wearing the robe and feels it a little bit.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Then why are there two flyers?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I didn’t see where it was.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I think I’ll go to Angela’s party, because that’s the party I know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I hear Angela’s party will have double-fudge brownies. It will also have Angela. Double fudge… Angela… double fudge… Angela [puts out hands to weigh his options] Hmmm…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Don’t push it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "You’ve got to be kidding!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[singing] I want you to know. That I’m happy for you. I wish nothing but…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "[singing] And I’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away. It’s not fair, to deny me of the cross I bear that you give to me. You, you, you, you, you, you, you oughta know ta know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "Dude, you should know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kevin", + "text": "I think I’ll go to Angela’s party, because that’s the party I know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 78, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "ryan": [ + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ryan Howard from the temp agency. Daniqua sent me down to start today.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I heard they might be closing this branch down. That’s just the rumor going around. This is my first day. I don’t really know.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What’s up? Nice to meet you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You should’ve put him in custardy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uh, Shemp.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Just Curly. Joe DeRita was different.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Chappelle’s Show.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I downloaded it on her computer. I hope she doesn’t mind. She just had a lot of extra space.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Great. She’s cute, huh?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Oh, no, the girl in the… sketch.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I have something.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um, well I grew up here in Scranton and when I was a kid the guy who lived next door was a former baseball player, who actually played pro ball before the leagues were integrated. And he had the most incredible stories about…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What do you want me to do?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Did you get the kind with the cookies? Instead of the…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Michael? Are you done yet?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No, don’t. Don’t do that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Fine, don’t worry about that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Darryl Rogers?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "But, I’m getting paid to skip lunch?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I stretched before I came.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Can we just do one? That’s cool, that’s fine.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[Dwight steals the ball from Ryan] Same team, Dwight.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m installing File Share on all the computers.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I would love to.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You don’t want to recycle them?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Do you want this? [holding a full bottle of water]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What about this bottle of power drink?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Blue.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "It says flavor: Blue Blast.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No, this is Rite Aid Night Swept.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Well, it’s empty.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Wow. How many filet-o-fishes did you eat?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[Under his breath] Still.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I mean whatever one you want.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, I mean, it looks real good, probably.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What kind do you like?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Okay, do you like hip-hop? Do you like indie rock?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Okay. Do you like The Strokes?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Do you like The Hives?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You like the Fleebulls, The Glorps?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, I had a feeling you would like those.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Absolutely.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You staying?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What am I going to do with the award? Nothing. I-I don’t know what I’m going to do. That’s the least of my…concerns right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You a big William Hung fan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I got your sausage, egg and cheese biscuit.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What was the thing, ah, you needed me to come in early for?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m just going to take a nap in my car until work starts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I figured I could throw it away now, or I could keep it for a couple of months and then throw it away. I mean, it was really nice of Pam to make them, but what am I going to do with a gold medal made of paper clips and an old yogurt lid?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "The temp agency wants to know what you think.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ah, well, I’m interested in business.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uh, no, actually, uh, what I want is to own my own company.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Fozzie bear?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ah… adapt, react, re-adapt, act.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uh, okay, two?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Okay… uh, sorry?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "…I don’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I don’t want to be like “a guy” here. You know? Like, Stanley is the “crossword puzzle guy”. And Angela has cats. I don’t want to have a thing… here. You know, I don’t want to be the “something guy”.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[to Dwight] Don’t…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "That’s actually a test prep book.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "That’s a test prep for business school.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I just got in. I applied, I go at night.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No, not yet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Just started.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I… wouldn’t even know where to start.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "All right, um… Why have people been rethinking the Microsoft model in the past few years?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Is it cheaper to sign a new customer? Or to keep an existing customer?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "It is ten times more expensive to sign a new customer.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I am.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I am.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "It’s a way of looking at consumers as subsets of a larger client base.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Maybe we should get some air.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m really uncomfortable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[answers phone] Hey, no, I can talk, I can talk, I can talk… this is great timing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What’s your number?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You got to… you got to give it to me again.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Now I have it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I am so sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I can’t believe I started the fire.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m really sorry, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m really sorry, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Good. What’s up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m good, thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uh, fine. What’s up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I don’t have a tape player. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "For two years, and it’s only at night, and then it’s on your resume forever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "$650 bucks", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "A credit.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "It’s an investment.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I think it’s worth it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Oh, your dress is stuck in the back. Kind of just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Did you ask me here for any specific reason?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Why is that secret? [Pam knocks and walks into Michael’s office]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Updating emergency contacts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Catch-22.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What’s her address? [Ryan’s cell phone rings]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hello?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Do you mean Neverland?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Who is your emergency contact? [Ryan’s phone rings]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[looks to see who is calling but doesn’t pick up]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hello?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Is your wife still your contact?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "‘Kay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Fudge?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ok, to what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I have the emergency contacts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uh, hanging out with some friends, probably.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, alright, I’ll um, see you Monday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[entering office] Hey, have they left for the big meeting yet? I’ve got Michael’s lucky tie.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, who dry-cleans jeans?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Agent Michael Scarn, you lost some weight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hahaha, Agent Michael Scarn, you so funny. Word.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I forget it, brutha.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Don’t jump Agent Scarn! There are no parachutes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Is that it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Don’t you mean constructive criticism?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah. It’s another note.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "“Look on the windshield.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’ll check them all.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "“Look under the sink in the men’s room.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I bet you did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What nerves?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Actually, I had mine already.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Why would I lie about a performance review?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I think because my name is before yours in alphabetical order. [coins dropping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Fine. He actually gave me a small raise, which I did not ask for. [hits vending machine] It’s stuck. [Dwight begins throwing his entire body into the vending machine] It’s cool, it fell.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "“Look under the suggestion box.” “I can’t believe I kept this up all day.” Signed, me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hey, is Katy coming?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Huh, is it ok if I call her?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "And he’s really into penguins or something?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "That’s really funny.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "He called me Fire Guy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Never gets old.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Angela drafted me into the party planning committee. Her memo said that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me seems excessive.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[unwraps present] Whoa, a video iPod.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Wasn’t there a $20 limit on the gift? This is 400 bucks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, you left the price tag on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "And I have to give it to her? I don’t have a choice?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, I figured.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ryan Howard.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What line of work you in, Bob?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "We’re running low on cups. Do you want me to just run out and get some?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Oh, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I really did not do anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[looking at Xeroxed butt pictures] Whose butt is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Oh, how did I not guess that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I actually got that for you. I had you originally.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I didn’t want anything else, so I figured at least I could give it to a homeless guy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, Christmas.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I have a test for business school tomorrow night. Is it okay if I skip the cruise and study for that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m already in business school.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "At home, not on a boat?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Flash cards. Doesn’t really help me right now because I’m on a boat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Well…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[throwing up]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Here you go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yes. I ordered three full rotisserie chickens worth of all dark meat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "They were out of yams. I got you creamed spinach.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "They had no yams.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You know, around age twelve, I just started goin’ for it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Twice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I found the pudding cups you wanted in a gas station in Carbondale!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You are very welcome.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No, the gas station in Carbondale did not have fresh yams!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You sure?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I ground up four extra-strength aspirin and put them in Michael’s pudding. I do the same thing with my dog to get him to take his heartworm medicine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "My assignment is to make a temporary disabled parking permit for Michael Scott.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "They were out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "At three different places.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What’s that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, I think I can handle it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I think.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "If I had to I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I’d forget too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Creed did you organize the menu book?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No, that was mandatory.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "People Magazine, crossword puzzle, keep or toss?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "It’s from ’99.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "18 across. Mary-Kate and Ashley blank.” Michael wrote, “Judd?”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Everything seems pretty much under control.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "How would…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Not really.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[catching Jim looking at him at Pam’s desk] What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[again catching Jim looking at him] What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Jim’s been looking at me kind of a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it’s nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[barely stifling laughter] It wasn’t me. Um… it wasn’t me. [regaining composure] It was not me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hey Jim, Michael wanted me to ask you how to raise your desk chair.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "That’s what I told him. Thanks. [leaves]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What’s up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I don’t know. Depends if you like a little junk in … [notices camera] Umm… She’s really cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, totally.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Did she say something?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Do you know if she’s looking for a long-term thing or if she’d be cool just hangin’ out?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Can you find out?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "How about rainbows?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You know what… we could get this done a lot quicker if we formed a type of assembly line.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[anguished] I hooked up with her on February 13th.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Soda.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I can’t tonight. I have plans with my friends.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Cool. Cool. OK.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You’re inviting Jim?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Actually, I don’t see myself ever getting married.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I know what I said.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You really think you’re going to go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Nice. Send me a postcard.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Jim has worked at the same place for five years. Jim eats the same ham and cheese sandwich everyday for lunch. I don’t know. If I were a betting man, I’d say he will have a fun weekend in Philadelphia.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Why am I next? I thought we’d go in order?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Well… A lot of you know that I’m in business school. And while I’m learning a lot here, a lot, hopefully soon I’ll land a challenging full-time or part-time position somewhere else.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I got the stamps.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "The ones that say “39 cents.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I didn’t think it did.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Kelly’s helping?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun, and, I’m learning that fun for Kelly is… getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uhm…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yes, I–", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Right. Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um, I’m already getting the pizzas from Bernetti’s, so…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No! I will… go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I like extra cheese.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Who uses calling cards anymore?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[making peanut butter and jelly sandwich] Someone ate three feet of that thing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I won’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Okay, good. I think I’m gonna go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hey. I got the information.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[turns to camera] “The survival rate for localized melanoma is 98%.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[looking at camera] “There was 7,800 deaths from melanoma in 2005.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "“For localized melanoma, the five-year survival rate is 98%. The survival rates for regional and…”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "“The skin is the largest organ of the body.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I go to a lot of parties.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I am not giving you my keys.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What’s the hard way?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, let’s do it that way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I don’t think Michael’s ever done drugs. I don’t know if anyone has ever offered him any.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Cool. Hey, are you guys hiring?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah. Maybe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um, I don’t…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um… let’s um, let’s keep our clothes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "My voicemail’s really spotty… sometimes…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "One beer and one Seven and Seven with eight maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim, blended if you can.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. I got Jim’s uh, old job. Which means at my 10 year high school reunion it will not say “Ryan Howard is a temp.” It will say “Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm. …that’ll show ’em.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "All right. Three pairs of pants. Three pairs of socks. Three packs of condoms.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uh, fun jeans.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I don’t want ketchup.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[reading checklist] Fun jeans.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Fourth quarter projections for Jan?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Will do.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[shakes his head]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m pretty sure Jan said that we’re not supposed to.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uh, no thanks, I’m good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um… Yeah, absolutely.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[catching ball] Thanks. Um, a few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and, um, my cousin, Mufasa was um, he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests and, um, we all… took it really hard. All of us kind of in the audience of what happened.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Oh, it would probably take me like an hour and a half to tell that whole story.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "When I was five my mom told me that my fish went to the hospital in the toilet and it never came back so we had a funeral for it. And I remember thinking “I’m a little too old for this.” And I was five.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I did not know Ed Truck. So I will probably spend the day zoning out and planning my weekend. I think Ed would have wanted it that way.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "A dime and a nickel.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "But the other one is. I’ve heard that before.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Because he’s my son. The doctor is the boy’s mother.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself, and the ice melted.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "It’s a polar bear because you’re at the North Pole.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yes. I’m very excited.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I have spent a year here. I have to commit or get out. Dwight’s the top salesman in the company and he’s taking me on my first sales call today. And, um, I’m excited.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "So what if they’re not talking much, then does it makes sense to kind of lead the conversation? You know, just ’till it gets to a point where they are asking questions? [car stops] So where’s the sales office?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I know where we’re not.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I don’t think you know what you’re saying.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uh huh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Gotcha.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ok. [Dwight drives away] Of course.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hey Dwight, you’re a great salesman. Can you teach me? Sure, Ryan. I’ll make you the ole commodor. I’ll abandon you in a beet field. Huh. That sounds great, Dwight, I’ll really appreciate that. Thank you so much for your mentorship.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Look man, I was in a frat in college. So I know what you’re doing. I get it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Who was that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Is that your Cousin Mose?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Outsourcing and consolidation of competition.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Depression?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um, loneliness. Maybe women.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No. Ok. All right. All right. It’s over. This is over. OK.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No, you’re a freak. I’m not doing this anymore. This is over. Goodbye.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Look, that, that’s not what I wanted, ok. I just wanted to go on a sales call.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Wait, can you go back?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ok, I’m going to establish time frames.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m going to put everything in terms of “real dollars”.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m going to ask a lot of questions that all have sort of positive answers.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Saying, that would be better, or we would like that. That sort of thing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m going to try to be confident, but not cocky.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "They really didn’t like me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I don’t get it. I don’t get what I did wrong.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You drive.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I think about that all the time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah. Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I don’t have a key.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "He’s the top salesman at the company. He’s the top salesman at the company. He’s the top salesman at the company. Today’s gonna be great.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Huh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What was that first thing you did?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "It’s going okay. I’ve already learned more about beet agriculture than I ever thought I’d know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "You know, every time I think I hit rock bottom at my job, the floor opens up, like at a carnival ride. I’m gonna retrace my steps. College, four-year degree, student loans, business school, alone in a beet field. I… there’s a step missing. “Hey, mom.” “Hey, Ryan. How’s that five-year plan coming?” “Oh, it’s great. Today, I knelt down in cow manure and I got abandoned in a beet field.” “Oh, that’s cool.” “Yeah, that’s really cool. I’m learning a lot. I’m really glad I took this full-time job.”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "So, you’re Kelly’s sisters, huh?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "They said something about Zach Braff.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No, you don’t…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Well, I was a Temp but I got promoted. So, um… the compensation is a lot more competitive.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Oh, um… or travel. And,um… and buy an Xbox.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um, yeah. [shakes her hand] Ryan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hi, nice to meet you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Wow, um… Sorry you had to…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "It makes perfect sense that it would happen today because I just received this in the mail. [holds up cards] A thousand business cards with this address and phone number.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[to Kelly] I just feel like it could have been something special if we could have kept working together, but I’m gonna go someplace else and you’re gonna go someplace else. It just doesn’t make sense.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "This kinda worked out perfectly for me. I got some good experience. Uh, Michael’s gonna write me a great recommendation. And as far as me and Kelly goes, I think it’s for the best.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Is Jim coming back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I just don’t want it to be weird, you know? I mean, I took his old job and his old desk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Oh, yeah, totally.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Uh yeah, we’ll meet you there.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hey, buddy. Welcome back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m good! How are you? So…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um… unless you really, really want it back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Cool, thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yuh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Yeah. Jim is a nice guy. That’s why I got the desk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m sorry. It’s just, it’s a little distracting.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Sometimes he brings more costumes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Hey, uh sorry. Seriously, can you guys… I’m trying to get some work done.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "They have business classes there?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Prison sounds great.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Michael, please. [Michael makes kissing noises]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Ah man, I can’t.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m not feeling so well. I’ve got a ton of work to do here. MSG allergy, peanut allergy, I just ate there last night. [Michael feels Ryan’s forehead]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in World War II. Use your head, man. I keep mine in here. [Holds up blackberry.] Look alive, Halpert. Welcome back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Looks like they forgot the power cord.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Huh? [puts on jacket]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[knocks on office wall] Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 84, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Merry Christmas. [hands over a gift]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 84, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Okay, we’re never technically… um is there.. Is there a problem?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 84, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Um That’s… That’s fair. I’m sorry. Merry Christmas. [Ryan starts walking away.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 84, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[talking to Kelly in dumpster] Hey, Kelly, you know what? Throw my gift away, too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I’m serious. It’ll show that we don’t care about material things.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Kelly, I’m so cold!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Are you having fun in this relationship?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "I don’t know Kelly, sometimes I look at us and I think…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "[both inside dumpster] Did you look over here?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Kelly.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "Michael was on an egg-yolk diet. He’s so weird.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "No, you’re perfect. [Kelly gasps] What? Did you find it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ryan", + "text": "All of a sudden?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 9 + } + ], + "man": [ + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "Are you sure about that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "Hello?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "Uh, I don’t know. It’s pretty quiet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "Why?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "Okay, but there’s an 11:00 noise curfew.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "Who is Mr. Scott?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "She’s got it up now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "Hey! Hey! What are you guys doing over there?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man", + "text": "Excuse me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "roy": [ + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey, man.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey, baby.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "No, no. Come on. Let’s get out of here and go home.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "It sounds good. Seriously, we’ve gotta get going.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Just tell her I’ll talk to her later.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[yelling] What the hell is this? What are you trying to cop a feel or something? Huh Halpert?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[looking at Dwight] An alliance? What the hell is he talking about?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Come on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah, you too. Should be fun.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Don’t listen to him Pam. Trust me, tip it my way or you’re sleeping in the car.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "That’s what I’m talking about.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "All right, let’s go.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[steals the ball, scores, mimics singing] Du-du-du-du-dupee-do. Your ball.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "What the hell man?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "No, you take it easy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "No, no, no, I’m not coming in on Saturday.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey baby.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[to Jim] Look at Larry Bird. Larry Legend.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah? Let’s get you into a tub.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "What? Iverson’s not fat.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey, Jimmy what do you think of that little purse girl, huh?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Why don’t you get on that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "What are you gay?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "That’s disgusting.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[Katy walks through breakroom] Man, I would be all over that if I wasn’t dating Pam.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Engaged, yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "What’s up?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Are you still mad at me?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Come on [begins to tickle Pam]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Come on, you mad at me?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Are you still mad at me now?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Are you mad at me now?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Huh? huh? Come on… Come on, Pammy I was just kidding.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I was just kidding. You know I didn’t mean it. I can’t…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[on video] Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[on video] Ah, w-we’ll see you next year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah, let’s get out of here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "…talking about? He’s a jackass every year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[Put’s his hand on Pam’s arm] Come on, we’re going to Poor Richard’s.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Pam. Go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Well. You’re not goona get longest engagement, man, ’cause we got that locked up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Boys R Us!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey, hey, hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "So you don’t have the biggest package. Don’t feel bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You look like you feel bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Little package!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You look good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "How are ya?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You look great!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Okay, I’m going to go wait in the parking lot. And what kind of tunes you want for the ride? Little, uh, classical? Or oldies?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "All right, I’ll see ya.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey! Guys, what’s going on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "What’s up? Can I hang out with you guys for a bit?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "The warehouse guys are a bunch of jackasses sometimes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Uh… Oh, I got it! Uh, what’s the name of that, uh, tight ass, uh, Christian, uh, chick. The, uh, the blond?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey, Angela! Roy. Nice to meet you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You’re all gay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[looks around conference room] You’re joking right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey babe. Hey, how are you!?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You look good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey, um, I was wondering if it’d be ok if I go to Lonny’s poker game tonight. I promise, it’ll be like the last time for a while.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Oh, man. Um, could you go without me? Make something up, say I like, ate something, or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Huh, huh? You’re the best. You’re the best!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Ok, don’t wake me up cause I’m playing ball in the morning.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Alright, bye. [Pam looks around the office]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "This is awesome.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah, I was gonna get you one of these for Christmas, and now I don’t have to. I’m gonna save a ton of money.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I don’t know. Probably like, a sweater or something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I think after I lost Culpepper and T.O it was over, man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "It’s possible. I can’t believe you traded Shaun Alexander, man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Come on! Shaun Alexander? He’s the best back in the league.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Oh, no. That is not worth it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Never.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "No, she was totally Miss Artsy-Fartsy in high school. She wore the turtleneck and everything!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Where did you go to school?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Piss slop who cares-a? We played you! You… you really look familiar. Did you… you cheered for them, didn’t you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I remember that! We crushed you like 42-10!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Whoo! Who’s next? Come on, Pam! Come on! Come on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Come on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I’ve just gotta wait for Darryl to do his shot. Just a minute. Come on! [chanting] Darryl! Darryl!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "When you were in the Navy, did you ever almost die?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hello, everybody, could I have your attention for just a second? Could you listen to me for a second? We were up at the front, and we were talking about what’s really important, and… Pam, I think enough is enough. I think we should set a date for our wedding. How about June 10th? Come on, let’s do it! Come on, Pam!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "No, it was Captain Jack.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yes, I have. [kisses Pam]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Should have done it a long time ago.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I do what’s right whenever I figure it out. I love you, babe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "We can go back in, like, a couple of weeks maybe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Okay, maybe another month, like, maybe for, like President’s Day or something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[laughing] I think he’s dancing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Nope.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You mean the thing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[laughing] You gotta drink on that one. Too bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You ready?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Why?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I don’t understand.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Jim… Halpert. Hey uh, I, uh, you know heard there’s a rumor going around about you used to have a crush on Pam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "No, it’s cool, because I know you’re a good guy. And I know that that crush ended a long time ago, so… you know. We’re cool, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You know, it’s great with me cause that way, glad she has a friend at work she can get through the day with. She’s not all bap bap bap bap when she gets home.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "So, we’re cool, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Sweet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Pam shushes me. It drives me crazy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I hate it when girls insist on taking them out to new restaurants every weekend night and then they’re like “When are we going to go on a date-date?”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Like next to no benefits.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Exactly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "That’s what I’m talking about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Absolutely.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "In my truck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Bushmaster’s hard to beat for long distance. It’s a great point.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "How’s that union stuff coming?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey babe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You almost ready to go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "What’s wrong?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "What, you’re mad at me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Well, Valentine’s Day isn’t over. Let’s get you home and you are gonna get the best sex of you life.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[wrestling with Jake] Pam! Pam! I love this guy! [laughs] Come on!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You think you can beat up Darryl?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I think you might be able to.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "So, what’s the deal? We gotta pay for our own drinks? That’s lame.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah! That’s great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "She took you down, huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey, I saw your tape. Your band, Scrantonicity? You guys rock.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah, you guys wanna play our wedding?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Whatever. I’m in charge of the music.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Sweet. All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Sorry, babe. I am just beat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Okay. Hey, don’t try to lose too much money, all right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "If you still want a honeymoon. Hey, Halpert. Keep an eye on her, all right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "See you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Chicken or fish?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "So you havin’ a good day?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Good, glad. OK.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "After Pam dumped me, I um, I kinda stopped taking care of myself there, and uh, I hit bottom when uh, drunk driving arrest. I’ve been working out and um, you know, I’m not gonna take her for granted. I gotta win her back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[walking into the break room] Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You look nice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt, uh, I need to see Pam. There seems to be, like, something wrong with the radiator in her car.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[as they leave] There’s nothing wrong with your car. I just thought you might like a break from the “grief counseling” session.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "How are you likin’ the new car?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah? Sure is small. Got airbags?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[laughs] Well, you’re not still driving so fast, are you? Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey there.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "So how’s your day going?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "That sucks. [laughs] You guys got it much harder up here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[laughs] Cool, all right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Hey, my cousin Billy, they just had the twins.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah, I know. I guess they couldn’t wait. I’ll bring in a picture if you…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "No problem.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I don’t know. Who’s… uh, who’s going?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "What does that mean?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "I don’t really want to work here without Pam. You know that Cinderella song, “You Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)”? That pretty much says it better than how I know how to say it… in words.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Crazy day, huh?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Yeah, man! I’m uh… I’m really glad you’re still gonna be working here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "So I only use three?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "OK. And where to do you get all those cool bows?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "OK. Are you sure I can’t use like, the cartoons from the newspaper?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "[Karen walks in] Hey. All right, I’ll see you guys later. [leaves room]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "Which one is she? [Michael stares at both waitresses]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Roy", + "text": "You don’t know?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 7 + } + ], + "documentary-crew-member": [ + { + "speaker": "Documentary Crew Member", + "text": "[boom microphone drops into the camera shoot] Can you move it out? Can you move it? Is that all right? Can you make that work?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Documentary Crew Member", + "text": "[new take] No, you don’t even need … That’s fine. We’ll keep it…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Documentary Crew Member", + "text": "Understood, but it is what we need to capture what you’re saying as clearly as possible.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Documentary Crew Member", + "text": "[talking over Dwight] It’s…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + } + ], + "mr.-brown": [ + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Oh, I’m all set, thanks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Great. We’re all set.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Thank you. Thank you very much. OK. Thanks for filling these out and I promise this’ll be quick. At Diversity Today, our philosophy is about honesty and positive expectations. We believe that 99% of the problems in the workplace arise simply out of ignorance.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Uh, see this is what I’m talking about. We don’t have to pretend we’re color-blind.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "That’s fighting ignorance with more ignorance.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "No. With more ignorance.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Right. Exactly. Uh, instead, we need to celebrate our diversity.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Right. OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Yes, exactly. Now here’s what we’re going to do. I’ve noticed that…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Actually, I’d prefer not to start that way. Michael, I would love to have your permission to run this session. Can I have your permission?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Thank you very much. And it would also help me if you were seated.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Thank you. OK. Now, at the start of the session, I had you all write down an incident that you found offensive in the workplace. Now, what I’m going to do is choose one and we’re going to act it out.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Well, we only have an hour.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Mr. Brown.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Well, it’s my name. It’s not a test. OK? Um, so looking through the cards, I’ve noticed that many of you wrote down the same incident, which is ironic, because it’s the exact incident I was brought in here to respond to. Now, how many of you are familiar with the Chris Rock routine? Very good. OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "So we’re going to reenact this with a more positive outcome.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Well, let’s have someone who wasn’t involved in the reenactment.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Great. Guy listening. Ok, anyone else remember?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Great. You’re the Chris Rock guy and you’re guy listening.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Wait a second.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Stop it!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Now, this is a simple acronym. HERO. Uh, at Diversity Today, we believe it is very easy to be a HERO. All you need are honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Oh, great. Well, what is a hero to you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Ok, you’re thinking of a superhero.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Now, I need you to take these forms. This kind of expresses the joint experience we had today. And I need you to look ’em over and sign them as kind of a group pledge.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "I can’t leave until you do.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Michael, can I talk to you candidly?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "We both know that I’m here because of the comments you made.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Um, it’s not throwing me. I need your signature.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Yes, but you’re not listening to me. Yours is the only signature I need.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Those are my instructions from the Corporate offices to put you through this seminar for the comments that you made. The reason I made copies for everyone was so you wouldn’t be embarrassed.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Don’t worry about dating.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "OK. Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Thanks for filling these out. I promise this will be quick. We only have about an hour.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Does this company have 100 years to erase?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Oh right, more like 200 years.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Okay, um. Uh, I’ll try to make this quick.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Oh, nice.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Beautiful.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Oh, my sorry. That is not appropriate.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Yeah, but it’s not appropriate. This is not helpful as a memory aid.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Okay, Michael, I just…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Does anyone have anything else at all? Anyone besides Michael?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "Yes, please.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "No, no, no, no. An outsider’s perspective would probably be pretty helpful.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mr. Brown", + "text": "I’m sorry, Michael. We’re actually out of time.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 10 + } + ], + "toby": [ + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey, we’re not all going to sit in a circle Indian style are we? [Laughing]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I’m sorry.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I love their sandwiches.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Really? Today?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Oh, Happy Birthday.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, I could say something.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hi, do you mind if I sign the card real quick?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It’s just a birthday card.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "There’s some right there.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hi, nice to meet you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey, um did you go to uh, Bishop O’Hara?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, me too.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Eighty-nine.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "A girl.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[looks resigned]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey, did you go to Bishop Ohara?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, me too.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "’89.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It’s just a snack.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Just the once.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yes, that’s true. I have never won a Dundie. I am more than okay with that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I’m just saying I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to have given Ryan that award.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Okay, that is fine to feel, but not to act on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It wasn’t a vote. You decided.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Okay, that is not true.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "‘Cause Ryan asked me to talk to you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Um… I need to talk to you in your office. It’ll just take two seconds.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "The full story is that Randall resigned because of sexual harassment. So Corporate asked me to do a five minute review of the Company Sexual Harassment policy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It’s really not a big deal, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "And then Corporate is going to send in a lawyer…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Just to refresh you… .", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "on our policy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Maybe not some of them. Maybe not inappropriate ones.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, okay. Corporate would like us to do a five minute review of the Company Sexual Harassment policy so I’ll go over that later.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "So remember, intent is irrelevant. And that’s it. Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Great point.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Um… in fact, basic rule of thumb, let’s just act everyday like Pam’s Mom’s coming in. All right. That’s it. Um… if anybody has any questions about anything, you know where I sit in the back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Uh, yes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I can go over it with you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It’s over.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Office relationships are never a good idea. Yeah. So let’s just try to avoid them. But, um, if you already have one, you should disclose it to HR.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Ok, you know, Michael…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well, that would be…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Okay, I’m lost.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Technically, I am in Human Resources. And Dwight was asking about human anatomy. Um… I’m just sad the public school system failed him so badly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, maybe when you get really comfortable with each other, you can ask for that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I should get back to work.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[to Jan] He talked the whole time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "So it’s like volleyball.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Okay, you get a one-second hold on the ball…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "…and you bounce it off the wall on your side of the tape.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, Michael asked about it once. I just pretended not to hear him. He left.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Say Anything, The Shining, Annie Hall, that’s too obvious.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Toy Story 2, one of the best movies I ever saw. I went for my daughter and stayed because you can’t leave your daughter in a theater.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey, Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael, do you have the name of the employee you’re letting go? I’d like to start working on out-placement.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I don’t report to you, Michael. I report to the head of HR in New York.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "They would just send someone else. You need to have an HR representative.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I know, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael, it’s almost 5:00.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Um, ex-wife. Yeah. Um, her last name is ‘Becker’ now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "You don’t need to write ‘ex’.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "We want to go home.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "That is unbelievable.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, I assumed Michael was already doing this. That’s why I only use my personal e-mail account.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I got Angela. She is into these posters of babies dressed as adults. I got her one of those. I felt kind of weird buying that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well, it’s for Angela, so ..", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "We’re really not supposed to serve alcohol.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "So, hey, you wanna trade?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Really? You were gonna throw out a book?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Oh, cool. It looks really interesting. What did you end up with? [Ryan pulls Creed’s old coat out of a bag] Sorry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Christmas.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey, Brenda.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I got lost.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I guess I shouldn’t have stopped for dinner.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Wow, you just dive right into it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "What, what happened?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "What do you need?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I don’t think Pam’s gonna want to come into the men’s room.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Ryan, is, uh, dead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Dead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "No. Can’t, can’t you just get up yourself? I… You only grilled your foot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[on speakerphone] Well you know, frankly a lot of us have been saying this for a long time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, and I, uh, I think that the very fact that we’re including it in our agenda frankly, is a big step forward.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I’m sorry?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Uh, ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Uh, great. Why don’t we move on?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Great. Because you that I think the very fact that [Michael mutes the call]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "You just got your corporate credit card back. Do you really want me to take it away again?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I’m not processing this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "He seems fine to me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "That’s no burst pipe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "What are you talking about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Honestly, I don’t even hear her anymore. It’s like waves crashing against the beach.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Been to Amsterdam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[mimes lifting a glass] To Amsterdam.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Umm… After my divorce. Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Uh, about a week. Er… .um… .maybe a month. I uh can’t…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[to Sasha] Come on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[to Sasha] Okay, tell them what you wanted to say.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Alright, I wasn’t expecting that. Let’s uh… let’s go draw.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I think these belong to you. [puts toys down on desk]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Believe me, she has enough toys… she doesn’t need your watch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Is everything okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Uh… it’s true…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Mmhmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well, you need a wife first, or at least a girlfriend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Not Jan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "If you really want to have kids, I— I guess you could somehow… foster parent, or something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Somehow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Didn’t you lose a lot of money on that other investment, the one from the email?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Who brought in donuts?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Happy birthday!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I… guess I forgot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Are you serious?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[to Kevin] Honestly, is there any way you can get on your fiancee’s plan? Our health plan is s… just… it’s terrible.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I don’t really think people are in the laughing mood.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I work here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Oh, when you sign your job application you agree to comply with random drug testing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hookah is not an illegal drug, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "No it’s not. It’s a type of pipe. You can fill it with tobacco, often mixed with fruit, or other flavors.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "You can’t do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "That’s not random.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael’s behavior is erratic and unpredictable, but I don’t think he’s doing drugs. Maybe he should. Take the edge off. Uh, not at work, of course.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "You know, sometimes I wish we just didn’t have a conference room. [Kelly laughs] You know? He couldn’t do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Just letting Oscar vent a little. We would use the break room, but the photographer’s back there today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It’s just a little dispute over a poster in their workspace.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael, can I talk to you for a uh, second please?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Here’s how I usually handle this: all I do is listen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "These things just have a way of working themselves out.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It’s like if you write someone a letter, when you’re really angry… they say to keep it in a drawer for a couple days. Then you just never end up sending it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "That was the right decision for me and my marriage.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "You solved it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well, good. We can, uh, throw that one out. [shuffles through papers]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Mmm-Hm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I… I can’t do that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "That… [shakes head and places hand over the file]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[sighs and pulls out a box under his desk] It’s all Dwight’s.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Every Friday at 4, I have a standing appointment with Dwight for him to file a grievance against Jim. I tell him that I’m sending them to a special file in New York. That box is the special file in New York.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Actually, I have a separate folder for complaints against Michael. This [unlocks a drawer]is January through March of this year. [pulls out a fairly large folder]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, it just means whoever complained came to me later and withdrew it, so I took their name off.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "To your HR representative.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Fine, I’ll take your name off. [looks at Michael] So no one will know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[sits down for his ID picture] Just take it. [flashes goes off, while he is standing back up again]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Talk to Michael. I gave him the box.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Actually, I didn’t think it was appropriate to invite children since it’s… You know, there’s gambling and alcohol, and it’s in our dangerous warehouse and it’s a school night… And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know, is that enough? Should I keep going?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I’ll call.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I have good cards.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I don’t really play cards, but I’m not gonna lie to you. It felt really good to take money from Michael. Gonna chase that feeling.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Frustrating.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "OK I think Oscar would just like if you used “lame” or something like that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "No not really…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Apparently you called Oscar “faggie” for liking the movie Shakespeare in Love more than an action movie.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "All right Michael, but Oscar’s really gay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I mean for real.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "No, I mean he’s attracted to other men.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "OK, I am telling you, Oscar is an actual homosexual. Yeah, he told me this morning. And, obviously he hopes he can count on your discretion.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "OK, Michael, are you aware that you ousted Oscar today?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "All right, now Oscar’s feeling discriminated against by his co-workers, primarily Angela, and um, that’s your fault.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Really? She’s dating?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey, Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It’s, uh… I was… might ask if you wanted…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Um, if, uh… um… I just completely forgot what I was going to say. It’s so weird.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael, look. I know this is hard for you, but death’s just a part of life. I mean, just this morning I saw a little bird fly into the glass doors downstairs and die. And I had to keep going.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It was obvious…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well, I am trained in grief counseling, but, ahh, I don’t think that’s what they need right now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well, as you know, Ed Truck passed away. So, I’m here to talk about it if anyone would like to.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Is anyone having any trouble eating?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Concentrating? Is anyone having trouble getting their work done today?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well, look, sometimes things crop up later. So, uhh, you should know I’m always available if anyone would like to talk.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael, I’m sorry…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yeah, the ball-throwing exercise is in the binder. It’s in the section marked, “Fun Ways To Make Brainstorming Sessions Explode With Excitement and Creativity.”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Second?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Actually, she’s right. This isn’t appropriate. Why don’t I take these.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael, uh… we shouldn’t be talking about this until all the decisions have been made.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Jan told me just a few minutes before she told you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well for a minute there, I saw myself selling my house, moving to Costa Rica, learning how to surf. But, Costa Rica will still be there. When I’m 65.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Ah, pretty good. I finished.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "About seven.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well, that has wheels.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey, this came with the Stamford book. [Sets down box that says: Personnel Files Stamford CT Office Confidential] Can you take care of it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey, Jim!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Oh, really good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "How are you? Hey. Welcome back. [puts out fist to bump]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "No, I’m sorry, it’s…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "No, it’s nothing. We’ll just… [shakes hand]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "So… okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "All right… sorry… sorry about that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It was just…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Nothing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Um… You might want these orientation materials.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I don’t… I don’t think we can do that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[answering phone] This is Toby. Hey Pam. Where are you calling from?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Michael. Why’s everyone locked in the conference room?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Well, you’re going to have to let ’em out. Or… or I will.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "You know they’re teasing you. I mean… obviously, this is… a much nicer place than an actual prison. We get paid to be here. We go home afterwards and have social lives. We have… we have parties here. They’re teasing you. To be funny.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Oh, Dwight, we talked about this.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Dwight, you cannot keep that here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Come on Dwight. We went over this, like for a half an hour.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "It’s a dead animal in an office. You can’t…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "I’m sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Clean it in your car.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey Dwight. Pretty nice robe- [Dwight grabs bag with robe in it and walks away.] Why?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Hey Kev.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Angela, what do you want me to do?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "[sighing] Look, it’s a free country. If she wants to throw a party…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "…using her own money…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "…then she should be allowed to.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "The more the merrier.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "Oww.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Toby", + "text": "That really hurt. I’m writing you up. [Angela makes an angry face] Hey, you are not allowed to touch other employees. Am I being clear?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 14 + } + ], + "jim:-": [ + { + "speaker": "Jim: ", + "text": "-", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "kelly": [ + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I just had the longest meeting.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Um, I like that one I think. [Ryan hands her a purse]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Uh, thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "It was you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yeah, it was.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[laughing] No. No, just something that was written in the ladies’ room wall.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "“Spicy Curry”, what’s that mean?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yeah, but why’d you give it to me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "This is a bowler-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yeah, but everyone else-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I think I’m gonna share some Cadillac Fajitas with Toby. Toby is so cute, except he has that stupid kid.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "No, we were just hoping you wouldn’t do those characters, like last time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I’m okay!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Let go of me!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Definitely, definitely, Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "How about you Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Why is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, like … the movie about the Indian girl who plays soccer?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yeah, I mean, I guess I could do that. I don’t really play soccer or anything.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Hi-yah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Wow, that’s actually pretty cool Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Are you going to happy hour later?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Wait, not Roy. Say it’s not your fiance. [laughs]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "You said “constructive complements”; that doesn’t make any sense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I’m sorry guys; can we please not talk about paper? There’s gotta be something else we can talk about.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Good one, Kev.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, good, that was from me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[unwrapping the poster] Yikes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "That’s like, the creepiest thing that I’ve ever seen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I will steal the iPod.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Damn it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Okay, well, I guess I will take that book of short stories.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I don’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "So, I guess, you really didn’t want the shower radio that bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I don’t know why Oscar didn’t like the gift. I know he wanted a shower radio. I mean, I totally remember him telling me that he wanted one.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yes, totally, ’cause I was just gonna throw this out anyway.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Mmm-hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Sorry?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 83, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Wait, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Why did you tell us to bring a bathing suit?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yeah, but I bought a bathing suit.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I took the tags off already.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yes, I brought my duffel bag and a sleeping bag.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Definitely some place you can swim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Did you hear something?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh my God! That is so exciting! Can I be a bridesmaid?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Listen, you don’t have to answer now. But how are you going to do your hair?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "You’d look like an angel. I’m seriously going to cry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Jim, why didn’t you tell me you had a crush on Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Are you moving back here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Because Toby used to sit there, but he had to move over there because of an allergy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[shaking head] Weird.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[to Jim] I’m serious. My closet doors will not shut. I mean, it only takes so long to measure to make sure that clothes will hang up because aren’t all hangers like that big? So I don’t understand why the closet engineer didn’t think of that. So now I’m doing this new thing where I just leave piles of clothes on the floor and then I walk around the piles to get an outfit…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[to Jim] Beyonce, pink the color, Pink the person, hot dogs, basically anything that is awesome. Snow cones…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh my God, he is so cute! Would you talk to him for me and see if he likes me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, please Jim? Please, please, Jim. Please, please, please? He’s so cute. I like him so much. And I would do it, but I’m too shy. Please, Jim, please, please, please, please, Jim. Please, please, please…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[to unseen co-worker] But it’s so weird to fall asleep. And I just hate it. ‘Cause I try to go to bed at, like, 9:30.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[to Jim] Oh, long-term, definitely. Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together… but don’t tell him that, okay? Just tell him I’m, like, up for anything. I mean, I’m not a slut, but who knows?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "You just asked a girl out on the phone!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "That looks, cool, where is that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "That hotel, it looks so romantic.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I went with my parents to the Shadowbrook Farm once. That was also really romantic. Oh, my God, I wish a boy would take me there. I would need a fun new top. You know what a great color is on me? Lavender, actually.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I’ll tell you one thing. I am not going to be one of those women schlepping her kids around in a minivan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I want an SUV… with three rows of seats.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, me too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "What about second base? Like if Michael said that he got to second base with you? Does that mean you like closed a deal?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I mean that’s a baseball term, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[in the background] …and you went to Chili’s and he got to second base with you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[in the background] He told everybody so I just want to know is that a baseball term…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "You were probably feeling really depressed and sad and that’s why you did that thing with Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "How can someone so beautiful be so sad?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Nothing. Oh except, oh my God Jim. Last night, Ryan and I totally, finally hooked up. It was awesome.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "And it was so funny ’cause we were at this bar with his friends and I was sitting next to him the whole night and he wasn’t making a move, so in my head I was like “Ryan, what’s taking you so long?” And then he kissed me. And I didn’t know what to say.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "So I said, “Ryan, what took you so long?” And I just said that to him, can you believe that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh my God, Jim, is that embarrassing? I’m embarrassed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, thank God, because I was nervous, Jim, you will not believe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "So nervous, but now — now I have a boyfriend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I would just be so psyched if we just dated forever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[to Ryan] Cool. Hey, so… do you want to… do something tonight? Or…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I mean, I know it’s Valentine’s Day, or whatever, but there’s totally no pressure at all, of any kind. What so ever. So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "OK, That’s cool. I completely understand.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "It’s frustrating, because we’d be so perfect together.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yeah, it would be so great if he was.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Okay, cool. Is it okay if I invite Ryan? [Jim leaves]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Is Brad okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "This is karma because of what he did to Jennifer Aniston.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Why’d you pick the V.A. for the reception?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "But he did a great job. June 10th is perfect. I want a June wedding. I’ve always wanted one. Ryan, do you know when you would want to get married?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yep. [spreads tablecloth]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh my God, she is so cute, I want to die. Don’t you just love kids, Angela?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "God I cannot wait to get pregnant and have babies!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "…that I thought you should know …", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I think something a little fishy is going on. [points to Ryan and Melissa]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yeah. I mean, I’ve been noticing them all day, I was thinking that maybe … [Stanley gets up]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "So, how’s your day been?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yeah, it doesn’t help that Stanley’s daughter’s such a slut.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Second opinion on what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, no! I was watching Grey’s Anatomy, and there was a lifeguard on it, and he had skin cancer too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever. That and my sister’s.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Don’t be scared! You’re good! You’re good!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "And the guys are saying, chug, chug, chug, but I’m so small and all I’d eaten that day was one of those Auntie Anne pretzels from the food court so I said “Is it okay if I sip it?” and they said no, but Ryan seemed cool either way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Six.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "So the first time we went out to dinner, it was like, whatever, fine, but I was so nervous. So this time I wanted to be special, so I bought a new dress! [Jim hunches his shoulders and grins] One of those kinds that is kinda low cut at top to show something, but not everything. [Jim shakes his head no in agreement] I mean not everything, Jim. [Jim shakes his head in agreement] I promise, I’m not that kind of…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "We’re having the best conversation. [Jim, eyes wide, shakes his head, no]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "So, I was looking so hot…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, sure, I can definitely help you with that. Okay? Please hold.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "But then we wouldn’t have any meetings.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Okay. Bye, Toby.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God. Hello? Yes, I am so, so sorry. Yeah, actually, I don’t have that information just yet. Uh-huh. Listen, do you mind if I put you on a brief hold? Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I didn’t file a complaint. I was just talking.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "To my friend, I thought. I want that withdrawn.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Kobe Bryant has a foundation, and he is so hot. And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. I know he didn’t do it. …Maybe he did it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "That is so cool that you’re gay. I totally underestimated you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh my God! Are you so excited for tonight? I am so excited. You guys are going to click, I can feel it. So what are you wearing?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "You look so pretty.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Well, remember, no matter how much you may want to, do not sleep with him on the first date. It gives him all the power.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "My neighbor Alan. They’re going on a date tonight.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Alan’s cartoon is so funny, right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "And they’re, like, so smart. I don’t even know what they mean half the time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "So, Alan, Pam is obsessed with your cartoons. She reads them every day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "You love ketchup! He loves ketchup.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[gasps] I love it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "You haven’t even tried it on yet, try it on.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[clapping her hands in unison] Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch! Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "It’s so sexy. You look so hot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "No, you have to keep it today, just see how you feel.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Isn’t that like your third soda today?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, Michael, that’s such terrible news! You must feel so sad.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Ugh, no that thing is dead.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[crying]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I mean, how many times to I have to confirm with Ryan [Michael walks away disgusted] for him to know that we have a date tonight?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "You told us we had to.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Because they acted all tough and everything…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "But what they were rapping about was cupcakes and the Chronicles of Narnia. God. Who invented cupcakes, right? I want to…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I can’t believe that Ryan is not back yet. Where could they be?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh my God, I’m so worried.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I don’t know. Dwight’s so weird.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "No, he’s a freak.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Here you go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "It’s not a dress. It’s a kurta.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "You look so handsome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I don’t get why you won’t go. Did I do something wrong? I mean, I thought we were really close friends.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Well, go with Dwight. He’s single, too. Right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Um… Diwali is awesome… and there’s food… and there’s going to be dancing… and… Oh! I got the raddest outfit. It has, um…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Sparkles…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, um… I don’t know. It’s really old, I think.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Like hundreds, I think. Maybe more than that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Ruka, Nipa, Tiffany. Stop acting like such little losers and just be cool. Come on, Ryan. Come on. Leave him alone. I hate you guys.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Don’t even listen to them. They’re so…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I don’t even want to hear it. Okay. I didn’t come this Diwali to get yelled at!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Uh… excuse me. I want to get a…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Um, well, basically, it’s like a really big party, and everybody gets super-dressed up, and there’s a bunch of different gods, and each of the gods has a special power, like the Care Bears, you know?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Like, an Indian Halloween?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Um, customer service.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "What? I’m not Muslim!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "She’s so wonderful.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "If I get to stay and Ryan is laid off, I will kill myself. Like Romeo and Juliet, the Claire Danes one.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Ahhhhh! [hugs Ryan] I’m so happy we don’t have to break up now, Ryan! [kisses him] This is the best day of my whole l ife!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Jim!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh! Oh my god! I have so much to tell you!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Yes! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? They had a baby and they named it Suri. And then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? They had a baby, too, and they named it Shiloh. And both babies are amazing!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I just told you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Looks like salmon.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I eat beef.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[pointing] Hey, a margarita-karaoke Christmas party, that sounds like fun.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "What d’ya think? [to Stanley about his drink]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "See, I told you. You want one Meredith?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Well that blows.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[singing] Whatever we deny or embrace. For worse or for better. We belong, we belong, we belong together… Ryan…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Hello, Ryan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 84, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Oh, thank you. Do you always get presents for your ex-girlfriends?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 84, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Well, I didn’t get you anything, because you have treated me inconsiderately, and I’m not gonna stand for that anymore.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 84, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[runnning after him] Wait, Ryan, you’re not mean. You’re adorable. I’m so sorry. I got you a present, too. But then when I got to work, I didn’t see anything on my desk from you, so I threw it away. And then Asuncion took the trash out, that’s why I think it’s in the dumpster. I’m so sorry. I’m the worst. [Kelly hugs Ryan]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 84, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[from inside dumpster] No, you paid money for that CD.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "I don’t understand.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[starts to cry] You don’t have to scream at me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Sometimes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "[crying] Don’t dump me while I’m in the dumpster. Just go back inside if you’re so cold. I’ll just stay in the dumpster. [Ryan smirks]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 86, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Who’s eating all these apples?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "And what are these? Are… Why are there egg yolks in here? Aren’t you supposed to eat the yolks?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Do you think I should diet?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "No, I’m scared.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly", + "text": "Uh huh. Hold me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 87, + "quote": 10 + } + ], + "deleted-scene-3-mr.-brown": [ + { + "speaker": "Deleted Scene 3 Mr. Brown", + "text": "HERO, at Diversity Today, we believe it is very easy to be a HERO. All you need are honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "meredith": [ + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Michael. Michael, please, can we talk to you about this memo?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Could you mean vagina? Because if you do, I want that covered.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Oh! Surprise.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Uh, I can’t. Um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "I can’t eat dairy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Yeah, it makes me sick.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "“Happy Bird-day” Um… “Meredith, good news. You’re not actually a year older because you work here, where time stands still.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "That was Stanley. “Meredith, happy birthday, you’re the best. Love, Pam.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "This is from Michael. “Meredith, let’s hope the only downsizing that happens to you is that someone downsizes your age.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "No, I… I get it. It’s funny.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "You’re right. You’re right. Yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "I hate that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "“Meredith, let’s hope the only downsizing that happens to you is that someone downsizes your age.”", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "No, I…I get it. It’s funny.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "You’re right. You’re right. Yes.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "You’re talking about my hysterectomy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Um… what about office romance?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Wow!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Legends of the Fall, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Legally Blond, Bridges of Madison County…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "…and Ghost. But, ah, just that one scene…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "…Jim.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Is there anybody else.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "I’m still recovering from last night. But maybe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "I’ll take the teapot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Damn it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "I really want the iPod.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "I’ll take the oven mitt.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "We can drink?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Me. Please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "The deal is that this is my last hurrah, cause I made a New Year’s resolution that I’m not going to drink anymore. During the week.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Yep.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Damn it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Thanks. I wish I could’ve had it. Do you wanna trade?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "All right!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Wow!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "You can take my van!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Hi. I’m Meredith and I’m an alch… good at supplier relations.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "In five years, I’d like to be… five years sober.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Four and a half.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Oh, that’s part of my dream too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Slip.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "“Happy Valentine’s Day darling. Love Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Yeah. Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Please don’t tell a sailor joke.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Um, fif–well, fifty… I… over ordered because they had a back order.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "I got permission to bring Jake into work, which is great because he got suspended this week and now I don’t have to pay for a sitter.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Did you hear anything yet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Pam said you had something important to tell me. Is it bad? Am I getting fired? [Jim shakes head ‘no’] Why aren’t you telling me? It must be bad. They’re taking away my kid. I knew it. [Jim waves arms and shakes head ‘no’] They’re not taking away my kid. Oh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Why would I be worried? I’m not a drug user. I would never abuse my body like that. I mean, they are plenty of other ways to have fun. My body is 100% drug-free.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Wait. [puts eye drops in] [Photographer takes the shot and her eyes are closed]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Wow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Oh, God. Oh, no. I have this problem all the time. I never remember people I’ve had sex with.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Oh, right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "[shocked expression]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Why are all the best-looking single men always gay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "That town smells like cheese steaks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "I have a lot of work to do.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Do you want to make Appletini’s and watch ‘Sex and the City’ at my place?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Oh, that’s what they call it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Hey, champagne.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Where’d you get that salad?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "[notices Karen has same thermos as herself] Hey. That’s funny.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "[holds out flask] Do you want a little?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Okay. If you change your mind, you just let me know, okay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "That’s cool.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "That was in your way?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "[takes mug] Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "[raises hand] I want to.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "[to Martin] I love your complexion. It’s like devil’s food cake.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "What was your cell like?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "Is that a threat?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith", + "text": "No thanks. They’re too sweet.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "travel-agent": [ + { + "speaker": "Travel Agent", + "text": "I don’t know of anything like that, but, um, you know what you might want to do, is just call those casinos directly. Um, maybe?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "man-on-phone": [ + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "You mean the elevator that takes you down into the mineshaft? It’s not really a ride.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "It goes 300 feet into the earth, but it moves really slowly.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "It’s an industrial coal elevator.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "Hello.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "Oh, I think we already did our order this month.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "You mean the elevator that takes you down into the mineshaft? It’s not really a ride.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "Well, it goes 300 feet into the earth, but it moves really slowly.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "It’s an industrial coal elevator.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "No, you just look around. It’s a historically preserved coal mine.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Man on Phone", + "text": "Well, there’s the adjacent Anthracite Heritage Museum. They got some really interesting old mining tools. There’s also a photo mural exhibit. Uh, bat guano sculpture. [Michael hangs up cell phone]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 14 + } + ], + "everybody": [ + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "Surprise!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "[tunelessly] Happy birthday to you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "Happy birthday…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "[singing] … birthday, dear Meredith Happy birthday to you…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "How old is she?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "How old is she?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "[half-heartedly] Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "[Michael hits a half court shot] Ah! [clapping]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "Dundies! Dundies!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everybody", + "text": "Darryl! Darryl! Darryl! [Darryl exits break room and passes Phyllis]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 13 + } + ], + "lonny": [ + { + "speaker": "Lonny", + "text": "What’s up?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Lonny", + "text": "[dancing] Where you at? Where you at? You over there? I’m over there.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Lonny", + "text": "Wait, what does that mean? What is it, a tie? What’s going on?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Lonny", + "text": "So what’s that? We’re coming in on Monday, right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Lonny", + "text": "Monday?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Lonny", + "text": "Dammit, Michael!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Lonny", + "text": "You know that’s a good question, Hasselhoff. What bugs us?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Lonny", + "text": "Yeah, on our salaries, man, what do they expect? You know to take us out every weekend? You know what I mean? We’re not millionaires.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 7 + } + ], + "darryl": [ + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "It’s not my real name.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mister Rogers.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "We’re loading at one.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "No, we got a truck going out at 1:15. So, that’s the busy time.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "All right, fine, you know what? One o’clock.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Just getting a tea bag.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Why don’t we make it more interesting? Loser buys dinner at Farley’s.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "No, that’s not as much fun. You know what?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "You’re on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "[scores] Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "You have one more free throw shoot. Come on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Block, block, block!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Take your shot man!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "That was you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Yeah, this isn’t happening.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Iverson. Yeah, always man. It’s very important.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Hey let’s go to Poor Richard’s.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Like a joke? A knock-knock joke?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Well, [points at Michael] those are some awful tight pants you have on. Where’d you get em? Like Queers R Us?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Man, we can see all your business coming around the corner, okay? You need to, you know, hide the… good thing you don’t have a lot of business to start with.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "[fake whispers to Roy] I think he feels bad.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Hiding from his momma.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Come on, Mike, let me borrow the hat for just a couple of hours.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Yeah, I’ve seen Santa.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Who cares?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Oh, yeah, I need McMahon, Deion Branch to have big games or else I’m done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "I had to. I needed defense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "It’s defense.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "It is worth it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Are you kidding? You wait.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "That’s okay, Mike.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "All right. Thanks, man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "How about the sales department is the sails?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "That’s what I’m talking about!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "[speaking Spanish] Por favor, tequila seoor.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "What you say, bitch? You know, you might be right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "[walking by with new carpet] What… What’s that? Whatcha doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "That was definitely not dancing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Paper business.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Hell yeah, yeah, yeah. Mo’fo, mo’fo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Mmm-hmm. [thumping] [Roy groaning] Now you’ve got to drink.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "My biggest fear is that someone will distract us from getting all the shipments out on time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Hey, Mike, look. How bout we go upstairs, too. You know learn how the office works. We can all switch places today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "The experience…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "It’s dangerous, Michael. Come on, get off this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Mike.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Mike. Get off of the lift. Please. Come on now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Look, would ya… look.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "We’re the ones that got to clean that up!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "My priority is safety.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "So it really bothers me when somebody comes in here speeding around on a lift, playing with it like a toy. It kind of gets under my skin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Uh uh uh. Don’t shush me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "That bothers me too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "I hate that too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "No, you don’t. You don’t feel us. How can you? You know what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "You say we’re the same, but we get compensated very differently.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "We work the same hours as you and you just said we work a lot harder", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "But we get paid a lot less.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "You know this would not happen if we had a union.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "That’s what we need.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 25 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Man, see… That’s what I’ve been sayin’, man. We need to do this finally.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "It’s more than necessary, Mike. We need this. Roy? You still have that card from the Dockworker’s Union?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Man, hook you up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Union! Union, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Are you with us Mike?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 38 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Welcome to the warehouse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 40 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "This is not a good idea right here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Hey Michael. This ain’t over.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "That’s my office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Checkin’ in with Chet. Doppler’s up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "You must be pretty strong, huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "You think you could beat me up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Then you gotta have muscles, man. You got some muscles? Let’s see.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Man, you have got to be kidding me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Mike, I am not having fire-eaters in a paper warehouse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Except my warehouse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "We just have a lot of stuff down there that could be stolen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Why? ‘Cause I’m from the hood?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "[sighs] Dinkin’ flicka.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "I taught Mike some, uh, phrases to help with his interracial conversations. You know, stuff like, “Fleece it out.” “Going mach five.” “Dinkin’ flicka.” You know, things us Negroes say.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Oh, yeah, I taught him a handshake, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Yeah. Can Dunder Mifflin afford that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Mike, we’re not shipping as much as we did last year.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Hey Mike.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Look, I heard about the office. Tough break.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "I wasn’t.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Actually, Bob Vance bought out the warehouse. So he’s keeping on the whole crew. So, we good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Hang on little ladies. You don’t need this thing, I’ll go grab my synthesizer. [Everyone cheers]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "Hey. Hey, look, when you get done with your… [looks inside conference room] meeting, you should, uh, come to the break room. We’re having a party.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Darryl", + "text": "All right. Se you later…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 17 + } + ], + "teammates": [ + { + "speaker": "Teammates", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 12 + } + ], + "michael-and-dwight": [ + { + "speaker": "Michael and Dwight", + "text": "De-fense! De-fense!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael and Dwight", + "text": "[as they throw accountants’ files and supplies around] Ahhhh! Whoo hoo! Come on, come on, come on, come on! Sales rules!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael and Dwight", + "text": "[singing] …did slowly go by… and feed… them on your dreams…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael and Dwight", + "text": "[singing] …The one they picked… the one you’ll know by… don’t you ever ask them why… if I told you would cry… you never look at them and sigh… and know they love you…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael and Dwight", + "text": "We did it! We did it!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael and Dwight", + "text": "Ouu! Ou! Ouu! Ouu!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael and Dwight", + "text": "Spot, spot, spot, spot …", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "warehouse-worker": [ + { + "speaker": "Warehouse Worker", + "text": "[Roy scores] Well done team.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Warehouse Worker", + "text": "Watch your back Madge.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Warehouse Worker", + "text": "[back to the basketball game] Let’s go Lonny.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "madge": [ + { + "speaker": "Madge", + "text": "Hey! Come on man!", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Madge", + "text": "Yeah, like that counts.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Madge", + "text": "He’s afraid of you now.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Madge", + "text": "Hey, do you want me to go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Madge", + "text": "I’ll go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "worker": [ + { + "speaker": "Worker", + "text": "I’m sorry.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Worker", + "text": "I’m sorry. You all right?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Worker", + "text": "Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Worker", + "text": "No it wasn’t.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Worker", + "text": "Oh, really? No, I just put my arm up…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 15 + } + ], + "packer": [ + { + "speaker": "Packer", + "text": "Whoa. Hey.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Packer", + "text": "Your mom, you gay nerd!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Packer", + "text": "It was pretty big.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Packer", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Packer", + "text": "Left it in the middle of your office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Packer", + "text": "[laughs uproariously]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Packer", + "text": "Special delivery!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Packer", + "text": "Sit on the throne, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 19 + } + ], + "none": [ + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Kevin makes seven straight shots from the free throw line]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Pam looks embarassed at Michael – Katy looks sympathetically at Pam]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Katy unpacks her handbags]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Pam sheepishly hands Katy the purse and leaves]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Stanley walks out]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Dejected, Dwight walks out slowly]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Dwight starts playing the tune of “Mambo No. 5” by Lou Bega on his recorder]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Somebody sits in front of the camera on the video, so even though nothing can be seen, Michael can still be heard]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Michael looks at the camera and motions for the camera to leave the office]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Michael closes the blinds]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[The camera tries to find a crack in the blinds]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[The camera pans around to reception, Pam is listening]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[The camera goes to a side of Michael’s office where the blinds are still partially open]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Phyllis catches Dwight trying to sneak into the girls bathroom]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[The door swings open and Dwight is being pushed out by Phyllis]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Pam just sits there stirring her drink, rolls her eyes and glances over at Jim]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Jim, at the adjacent table, crosses his arms and glances over at Pam, both look annoyed]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Quick cut to everybody talking and ignoring Dwight]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[The music stops, Michael looks back at Dwight]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Michael is dumbfounded, Dwight pushes a button on his keyboard that says, “OHHH, YEAHHHH.”]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Everybody starts clapping, Phyllis gets out of her booth and makes her way to Michael, she gives Jim a high five along the way]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Pam and Roy are at the truck, arguing.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Michael has false teeth in and glasses with squinted eyes on them]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[The camera zooms to an Asian customer behind Michael, she is looking at Michael in disbelief]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Cut to Pam still drinking the beer]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[The guy at the bar throws another object, looks like a wad of wet napkins, this time it hits Michael on the shoulder]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[More people start clapping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Pam starts laughing her cute drunk laugh]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Cut to Pam, her face goes from drunken elation to sober realization]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Cut to Jim’s reaction of scared expectation]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Quick cut to Jim laughing and staring at Pam with amused wonder]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Dwight stands up, but nobody claps]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Quick cut to Jim, he’s doesn’t know whether to laugh or take her seriously, so he gives her an amused/appreciative grin]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Jim looks at the camera, then back at Pam, who is still nodding]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Pam starts laughing, then suddenly falls off the bar stool]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Dwight starts taking off his shirt, but gets stuck]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[A Chili’s employee comes over, Jim helps Pam up, Dwight is stuck in his shirt]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[We have a strict policy here not to over serve. Apparently, this young woman was sneaking drinks off other people’s tables. I Xeroxed her driver’s license and she is not welcome to this restaurant chain ever again.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Pam stares at Jim for a little while, then glances at the camera, realizes she’s on camera]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Jim opens the door for her]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "None", + "text": "[Spanish language telenovela dialogue from the waiting room T.V.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "katy": [ + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "This one is hand embroidered.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Katy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Wow, thanks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I guess a cup of coffee would be great.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "What?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Regular coffee is fine.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "No really it is.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Bring it on.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 5, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "So do you like the periwinkle and the purples?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Gosh, I would love to but, my purses, I should, um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "That was on Sesame Street.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "No, I don’t believe that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Hi", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Cool. What year were you there?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I should probably get back to my table.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Guys are usually my best customers, they buy the high end stuff like the beads and the sequins and stuff. For gifts, you know? They don’t know what they are looking at. So I make suggestions.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "This one’s really good for a hot date.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "[laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Congratulations. You need a hot date more than anyone.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "[whispers] Sorry.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "[to Pam] Come back…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Is that from Starbucks?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Wow. Is that for the office?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I wouldn’t think of it.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Oh, nothing. My ride just bailed on me.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Oh no, it’s um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "No…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "No. I really don’t want to inconvenience you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "At five?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Okay, I guess that would be, I guess that would be okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Okay. Cool.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Cool.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I think you’ve made a really good choice, she’s really going to like that.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Oh, thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "You seem to like to touch things. Did you try the velvet?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Oh no, it’s fine that you, um. Here, what about the raspberry one? It’s really uh, kind of festive. It’s got a lot of personality.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I don’t think so I’m really busy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I can’t.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I really can’t.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Both.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "What colors do you like?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I’m Katy.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "You sit out there, don’t you?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Okay, um…", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Okay. [laughs]", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Goodnight, it was nice to meet some of you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I uh, I probably should have told you, I don’t need a ride now ’cause Jim can take me home after so you’re off the hook.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "You got that?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Good. Here. Squeeze it inside.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Why?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "It’s a… it’s a very nice car.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "It’s very popular, yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I’m not sure. It’s faux snakeskin.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "You’re really into reptiles, huh?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Oh, um, it’s okay.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Ha. Yeah, asks a lot of questions.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "We could do that ten years ago.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Cool, what year where you there?", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I’m gonna go back to my table.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "No.", + "season": 1, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Hi!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "How are you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I’m good. It’s good to see you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I’m hungry.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Oh, I have been thinking the whole way over and I have my answers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Um, for the… the desert island.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Okay, um, first, Legally Blond.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Alright! You want to drive?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "[looking at Roy and Pam] They are soo cute.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "You guys, it’s like we’re in high school and we’re at the cool table. Right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Pam, were you a cheerleader?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "That’s hilarious.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Bishop O’Hara.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Yes, I did! [chanting] A-W-E-S-O-M-E! Awesome! Awesome is what we are! We’re the football superstars! A-W-E-S-O-M-E!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "I’d like to be engaged. How did you manage to pull that off?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Do you think that’ll ever be us?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "What is wrong with you? Why did you even bring me here tonight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Whoa. What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "You should make a toast.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Jim, come on, don’t be shy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Everybody, everybody? There is a toast. Come on…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Yeah, toast! Toast! Toast!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Katy", + "text": "Cheers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 12 + } + ], + "guy-at-bar": [ + { + "speaker": "Guy at bar", + "text": "Sing it Elton.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Guy At Bar", + "text": "Sing ’em a song dude.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Guy At Bar", + "text": "You suck man!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "other-guy-at-bar": [ + { + "speaker": "Other Guy at Bar", + "text": "We just came from yo’ mama’s house.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "pam-and-jim": [ + { + "speaker": "Pam and Jim", + "text": "[clapping] Dundies! Dundies! Dundies! Dundies!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam and Jim", + "text": "[in unison] I do not think that is funny.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "employee": [ + { + "speaker": "Employee", + "text": "I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to put your clothes back on, people are trying to eat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 10 + } + ], + "waitress": [ + { + "speaker": "Waitress", + "text": "We don’t have that. You want a Presidente Margarita? Blue Pacific Margarita, El Nino…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 78, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Waitress", + "text": "[shakes head ‘no’]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 78, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Waitress", + "text": "[shakes head ‘no’ again]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 78, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Waitress", + "text": "What can I get for ‘ya?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "manager": [ + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "You have to put your clothes back on. People are trying to eat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "No!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "Put your clothes back on. Get, get right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "That’s fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "Sir, sir.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "Put your clothes on, right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "Right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 79, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "You and your party really need to leave right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "You know what? Don’t worry about it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Manager", + "text": "That’s fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 80, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "kevin’s-computer": [ + { + "speaker": "Kevin’s Computer", + "text": "[monkey noises]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "warehouse-guy": [ + { + "speaker": "Warehouse Guy", + "text": "Oh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Warehouse guy", + "text": "Little package! Little package!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 20 + } + ], + "warehouse-guys": [ + { + "speaker": "Warehouse guys", + "text": "[kissing noises, sheep baaing sounds]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 24 + } + ], + "video": [ + { + "speaker": "Video", + "text": "[Crossing the Line: Rules for the Modern Workplace]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Video", + "text": "[Scenario 1:", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Video", + "text": "[Lazy Scranton Video]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Video", + "text": "[Lazy Scranton video continues]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "man-in-video": [ + { + "speaker": "Man in Video", + "text": "In today’s fast-paced business climate, it can sometimes be hard to know when a comment or an action crosses the line. Let’s take a look at a couple of scenarios and ask ourselves ‘where is the line?’", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "mr.-o’malley": [ + { + "speaker": "Mr. O’Malley", + "text": "I love lawyer jokes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "albiny": [ + { + "speaker": "Albiny", + "text": "[to camera] And motorcycle head injuries, worker’s comp, and diet pill lawsuits.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Albiny", + "text": "Yeah, but I did a lot of paperwork at home before I got here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "pam’s-mom": [ + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Um… hello.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Finally made it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "This is all yours?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Oh, my goodness. That’s great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Oh, right! I remember…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "with the picture.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "[to Roy] Oooooh!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Well, there he is!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Hi, handsome!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Oh, thank you! So! We ready for dinner?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Oh, I don’t believe that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Oh, anything is fine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "So which one is Jim?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "I just wanted to know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "All right. Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pam’s Mom", + "text": "I’ll make myself busy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 28 + } + ], + "carol": [ + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Michael, this is Bill. He’s the head of the condo association.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Are we ready to sign some papers?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "It’s a very gay-friendly neighborhood.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "And then, I just need you to sign here at this arrow.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Well, ten over thirty, so thirty year total.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Ten year fixed, over thirty. Thirty year total.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Whenever you’re ready.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Actually yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Whenever you’re ready, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Michael, this is the unit you saw and…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Who told you that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Is this a financial thing? If it’s a financial thing, what some people do is they rent out the third bedroom.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "That’s some extra income for you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "You will lose $7,000 if you walk away right now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Hello.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Hello, hi. Hey, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "How?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Uhh, no, I… don’t just sell real estate. Uh, my daughter has a skating lesson.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "No just the front two.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "[on phone] Hello, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I’m great. I just needed one last signature for your mortgage insurance.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Oh, great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Oh, good, I’m glad. Can I drop it over later?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Oh, great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "To the casino thing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "No problemo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 31 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "To answer your question…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 33 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 35 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I’d love to go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 37 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I have to get a sitter, but that shouldn’t be a problem.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 39 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "And I’ll bring the papers, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 41 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I’ll see you tonight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 43 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Bye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 45 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Thanks. Thank you for inviting me. It looks so great in here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Drink would be good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Wow, bad luck.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "What does that mean?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Hi, hi.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "No, I’m good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Can I get a red wine? So, two hours? That’s a long drive.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Oh, well, actually, I guess this would be our first date. I guess.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Well, I’m having a nice time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "You, too.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Goodbye.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "She seems really nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "[wearing cheerleader costume] I thought you said this was a costume party!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "An Indian woman in a sari.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "What? Too spicy?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "They’re not s’mores. They’re samosas.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Are you okay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Oh, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Can we talk about this in private?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "[louder] Can we talk about this in private?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "This is the ninth date, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I better go. Okay, you can find a way home, all right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Okay, good night, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "You’re the temp!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Hi, I’m Carol.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "The wavy brown hair and blue eyes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Michael talks about you… a lot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Top of your class at business school, and you live on Shady Hill Road, right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "[pause] Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "He says… “I love him.” He loves you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Hi, is Michael around here?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "[whispers] What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Get outta here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I really need a moment alone with you. [Carol heads towards Michael’s office.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "What is this? [Holds up a Christmas photo]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "No. See, we never went on a ski trip.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I went on a ski trip.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Two years ago with my kids and my ex-husband.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "This is so weird.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I think you’re a really sweet guy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "But, um, I don’t know how to deal with, with this thing [waves Christmas card]. And, and the proposal. And I don’t think things are going to work out with us.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "What are you talking about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Oh, no. Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "Michael…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I’m sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Carol", + "text": "I know. [Closes door.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 13 + } + ], + "bill": [ + { + "speaker": "Bill", + "text": "Nice to meet you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bill", + "text": "It’s very safe. It’s very clean. Also, it’s very accepting of all lifestyles.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bill", + "text": "I promise it’s worthit . Ooo, I can see you walking out of here and you’re thrilled with your reading.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bill", + "text": "He told me he couldn’t show it to me, but he has a gun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bill", + "text": "Oh, don’t worry. We’re all gonna carpool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bill", + "text": "Oh sorry, we’re not going as a group, it’s just a private friend who just happens to know all of us from different ways is throwing a private birthday thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bill", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bill", + "text": "It goes wherever.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 18 + } + ], + "everyone": [ + { + "speaker": "Everyone", + "text": "OH!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Everyone", + "text": "Yeah, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "crowd": [ + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "Go! Go! Go!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "[polite clapping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "[claps]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "[clapping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "[clapping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "[clapping and cheering]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "[clapping and cheering]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "[claps]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "[shouts] Together that we prevail! [cheering and clapping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "Awww!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Crowd", + "text": "[loud clapping, cheering, and whistling]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "song": [ + { + "speaker": "song", + "text": "[“Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M.] Think you’ve had too much / in this life.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Song", + "text": "Everybody hurts,", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Song", + "text": "Sometim… .", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Song", + "text": "Everybody hurts", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Song", + "text": "Everybody cries", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Song", + "text": "Everybody hurts", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Song", + "text": "Sometimes", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 30 + } + ], + "dwight-and-michael": [ + { + "speaker": "Dwight and Michael", + "text": "[singing] Ryan started the fire! It was always burning—", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight and Michael", + "text": "[sing gibberish to “We Didn’t Start the Fire”]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dwight and Michael", + "text": "[singing] Ryan started the fire! It was always burning…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "sherri": [ + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "[on phone] Jan Levinson’s office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "Oh, she’s in a meeting. Uh, she just wanted the name of the employee you let go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "I just need the name of who you’re planning to let go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "I know she wanted the name.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "Yeah?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "Jan wants the name as soon as possible, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "Mm-Hmm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "Hey, I’m still here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sherri", + "text": "Hanging up now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 22 + } + ], + "creed": [ + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Huh?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "What are you telling me?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "No, I don’t. I wanna stay right here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "No, I wanna stay here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Um, I think there’s a misunderstanding, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Can I go?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Let’s fight it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Let’s call Jan and fight this thing together like the old days.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Did you start the paperwork yet?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "You don’t have to do this, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Undo it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "No, you have the power to undo it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Michael, undo it!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Fine. Fire someone else. Fire Devon. He’s terrible. I am so much better at my job than Devon.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "No, no, no, no, no, no. I will forget so fast. You will be my savior. You’re they guy who gave me my life back. Thank you. I knew you’d see it my way Michael. God Bless you. You’re a fine man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Listen, you will not regret this either. Devon is terrible; No one’s gonna miss him. Good, good, good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "No, no. I had some, thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Fifteen years, I think.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Oh, no. I need the money.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "What do you mean, “Why?”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I don’t know. I got nephews.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Yeah. Yeah. And I buy them stuff, you know. Oh, made some bad investments. Why are you asking me this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Well, you never asked me about my life before, is all.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Do you have something specific you wanted to talk to me about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I do not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "You know, guys, Michael has really incredible decision-making abilities. Michael’s really incredible at making decisions.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "That’s from me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I don’t know. It was so long ago.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Yep. That’s exactly what happened.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "[as Jim decorates a passed out Todd Packer] Oh, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Okay, okay. [gasping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Your shower radio.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 81, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I love it. I actually used to have a radio show back in the ’70s.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 81, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Whacky-weed Creed.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 81, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Do you want me to give it a shot? Just…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I don’t know, let’s try.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Guys, E, blues. Follow me, okay? [playing well]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Back in the ’60s, I was with the Grass Roots. We toured with Janis Joplin, The Doors, Cream. We had a lot of fun, And now I do quality assurance for a paper company. As you can imagine, drugs played a part. They still do. My work calls last about 90 seconds, and that’s about as long as I can concentrate.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Oh ho! Which one is Pam?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Oh, I thought it was a volunteer thing.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Hi guys. Somebody makin’ soup?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "[after Michael punches him in the arm] What did you hit me for?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "You shouldn’t have hit me, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "[to Oscar] Who do you think did it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Really? I thought you. [both laugh in Michael’s earshot]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Sure. He hired me. How’s he doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I thought you might.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Okay, you take it easy, ace.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Hey, thanks, ace.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I’m not good with names.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Ryan!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Jimmy, listen to me. You do not want to go to Amsterdam. Trust me.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I’d send you to Hong Kong.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Like to say ‘Hi’ to my friends in China. [speaks in Chinese]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "That is correct.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Hi kids.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Have you ever seen a foot with four toes? [begins untying shoe]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Th-the hair covers it, mostly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Kids, kids, kids, slow down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "That is Northern Lights Cannabis Indica.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I have some hemp ropes at my house, they’re really strong…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Great. [gets up and leaves]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door? [Michael, along with the camera, look at the standard stick man on the bathroom door.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I know exactly what he’s talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious. But they smell like death.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "There’s a great soup kitchen in downtown Scranton. Delicious pea soup on Thursdays. I’ll probably give the money to them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Who has AIDS?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Oh, I steal things all the time. It’s just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago. You should see how many supplies I’ve taken from this place. Honestly, I love stealing things.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Thanks. I never owned a refrigerator.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": ":", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "There’s my girl. I noticed you handing out some shekels. How would one get on that train?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Andrea’s the office bitch. You’ll get used to her. [introducing himself] Creed.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I’m just looking.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "In a minute.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Four nights a week, I sleep under my desk, and then three nights I stay at my place in Toronto. They don’t know about this job up there. It’s a welfare state. Beautiful countries, both of ’em.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 59, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "It’s a real shame about Ed, huh?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "About what?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Ed was decapitated.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "He was drunk as a skunk, he was flying down Route 6. He slides under an 18 wheeler. Pop. It snaps right off.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "You know a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "What did I say?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I have. That’s the ‘Union of the Monkey’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Ditto that, my brother.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Right place at the right time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "[singsong voice] Baby. Hello baby. Here you want to play with this?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "Oh, it’s okay. I’ve got tons of them. You like that? Goo-goo-goo-goo?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "That’s crazy. It’s crazy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "And a happy holiday to you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "[singing] Spinnin’ n reelin with love. Give it the time, I might come back down. But it feels so good. My feet don’t touch the ground. Wha..wha..wild. Wha..wha..wild. Well everybody knows, I’m crazy about ‘ya…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Creed", + "text": "I don’t care which party I go to. Once you’ve danced naked at a hash bonfire with the spirits of the dead, all parties seem pretty much the same.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 77, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "devon": [ + { + "speaker": "Devon", + "text": "Creed’s an idiot, you know that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Devon", + "text": "No, no, no, no, no, no! You had it right the first time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Devon", + "text": "Exactly. You gotta go with your gut, man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Devon", + "text": "That’s why I’m being fired?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Devon", + "text": "So you might not look like an idiot?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Devon", + "text": "This is unbelievable!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Devon", + "text": "What!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Devon", + "text": "[takes the gift certificate and tears it up] Kevin, Jim, Pam, Kelly, Toby, Oscar, Meredith, Phyllis, Stanley, or the temp. If any of you wanna meet me for a drink, I’m going to be at Poor Richard’s. And the rest of you can go to hell!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Devon", + "text": "Hey Scott. Hey. Hey! Hey! Come here! Come here! I want to talk to you. Come here!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "children": [ + { + "speaker": "Children", + "text": "[ringing the doorbell of Michael’s Condo] Trick or treat!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "kid": [ + { + "speaker": "Kid", + "text": "I’m a bumble bee.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kid", + "text": "A fairy princess.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kid", + "text": "I’m a lion.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 7 + } + ], + "vance-refrigeration-worker-#1": [ + { + "speaker": "Vance Refrigeration Worker #1", + "text": "Hey, you wanna see a really messy show? Follow us around. Come to our office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Vance Refrigeration Worker #1", + "text": "Hi, Mom!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Vance Refrigeration Worker #1", + "text": "So, what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Vance Refrigeration Worker #1", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Vance Refrigeration Worker #1", + "text": "Probably go grab dinner with my girlfriend. He’s gonna be pulling his pud watching Skinemax. [points to Vance Refrigeration Worker #2]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Vance Refrigeration Worker #1", + "text": "[tosses the butt of a joint in parking lot] We should get a pizza.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "vance-refrigeration-worker-#2": [ + { + "speaker": "Vance Refrigeration Worker #2", + "text": "Ass, ass, ass…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Vance Refrigeration Worker #2", + "text": "…ass, ass, ass, ass, ass…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Vance Refrigeration Worker #2", + "text": "I hate pizza.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "hank": [ + { + "speaker": "Hank", + "text": "Who is it?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hank", + "text": "Building.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hank", + "text": "You’re on your own.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hank", + "text": "Dwight K. Schrute, I hereby declare you an honorary voluntary corporal in charge of assisting all activities security.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hank", + "text": "Here’s your badge.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hank", + "text": "No, I don’t have a gun.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hank", + "text": "I don’t think so.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hank", + "text": "Two.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 19 + } + ], + "ira": [ + { + "speaker": "Ira", + "text": "Uh, no, it’s not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ira", + "text": "Actually, it’s a symbol for eternal discipline.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ira", + "text": "Ok, gentlemen, listen up. After a clean strike to the chest, stomach, or kidneys, I will separate you and award a point. The first person to three wins. Alright?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ira", + "text": "Shi mate!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ira", + "text": "Alright, break.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ira", + "text": "Dwight – awarded a point.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ira", + "text": "No points for pants.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ira", + "text": "Clean single kick, gentlemen.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ira", + "text": "Ok, break. Break.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 25 + } + ], + "ryan’s-voicemail": [ + { + "speaker": "Ryan’s Voicemail", + "text": "Seven new messages. First New Message. [Michael’s voice] “Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein.” Next new message. “Hi, Ryan. This is your girlfriend… and I’m mad!”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "master": [ + { + "speaker": "Master", + "text": "[Dwight grunts] Great. Excellent. [Dwight yells] All right. That’s okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Master", + "text": "Dwight, you can’t use your pager in here, I told you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Master", + "text": "Dwight…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Master", + "text": "Ten push-ups. Ten push-ups!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Master", + "text": "Sir, your shoes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Master", + "text": "You’re gonna have to take them off. It’s a sign of respect.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Master", + "text": "Here’s your gear. Please put this on.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Master", + "text": "Okay. Gentlemen. [to Michael] You ready? [to both Michael and Dwight] Okay, listen up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Master", + "text": "[to camera] That’s Alyssa. My senpai. She just qualified for regionals.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "alyssa": [ + { + "speaker": "Alyssa", + "text": "Hi, sensei. Hi, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "christian": [ + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "No, not long.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "Right. Well, Lackawanna County has not been immune to the slow economic growth over the past five years. So for us, the name of the game is budget reduction-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "It’s ok, I like jokes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "Ohhh no! [laughs] Oh my God, that’s funny! I almost had Awesome Blossom coming out of my nose!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "Well, we are out to save money.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "I have time.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "So after watching my mom go through so much pain, I decided to keep that promise, that I made to her, and take care of her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "It’s not fair.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "You didn’t.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "That’s right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "You were really brave! You, you put your arms out there, you slit your wrists.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "You said “World, this is my blood! It’s red, just like yours. So love me!”", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "Right down the street?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "I know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "It’s terrible.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Christian", + "text": "I don’t know. I guess I could give you guys our business, but you have to meet me half way, ok, because they’re expecting me to make cuts.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "hostess": [ + { + "speaker": "Hostess", + "text": "This way, please.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 17 + } + ], + "michael-and-christian": [ + { + "speaker": "Michael and Christian", + "text": "[singing] I want my baby back, baby back, baby back-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael and Christian", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 12 + } + ], + "sadiq": [ + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "That just means you have to enter your password.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "What’s your password, Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "Oh, it’s 1-2-3.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 3, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "By keyword phrase.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "Do you have a question or something?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "About my turban, maybe?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "Why do you have that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "In Pittsburgh? Yeah, but I never really watched him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "No, I’m much younger than you. I watched Conan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "No.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sadiq", + "text": "No, thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 15 + } + ], + "mark": [ + { + "speaker": "Mark", + "text": "Hey, you must be Dwight!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mark", + "text": "Hey, I love the Birkenstocks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "improv-teacher": [ + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Ok, let’s get right into it. I need two people for the first scene.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Ok, Michael. And… anybody? How about Mary-Beth? Come on. Ok, so you start us off Mary-Beth.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Stop, stop, ok, stop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "You shot me, great. Now stop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "You can’t just shoot everyone in the scene.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Ok, what about the scene they set up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "No, it wasn’t. No more guns.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "No. No. Michael, I want you to give me all the guns you have.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Just, I want you to get rid of all your guns and give them to me. Great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Yeeehh, ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Freeze!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "You wanna go over the rules one more time?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Michael, what did you tell him?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Then why are his hands up? Bill?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Ok, let’s call it a day. Nice job, Bill.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "No, listen to what she’s saying.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Good, good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "All your characters order people around though, and-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "There’s stronger choices.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "You succeeded.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Ok, for the next exercise, let’s everyone pair up.[everyone picks a partner] And everyone got somebody? Ok, good. [Michael is partner-less] Uh, ok, uh, why don’t you go out in the hallway and go through all the rules in your head. Ok, you take a break and sort of run through the rules in your head. Ok, stay there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Ok, you guys wanna start? [to Michael] Don’t throw out any-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "Suggestions.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Improv Teacher", + "text": "We don’t need a suggestion for this one; it’s gonna come from them. [to other students] It’s a game called “Yes, and?” and uh, you will say the first sentence. And uh, you’re telling a story-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + } + ], + "mary-beth": [ + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "Great. [skips] La la la la la laaa…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "How do I get to Bernie’s Tavern from here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "I am-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "Uh, President Johnson. Um-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "I, I killed him. You’re right! It was me!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "Alright, I’ll be quiet if we can make some kind of deal. A deal?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "I don’t think… he was saying-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "He kept saying “shut up”-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "I-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "I felt like he was ordering me around, cause he-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "We’ve seen you do that character before though. I mean, you know, that’s cool.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "Like Jim Carrey or something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "Right, well I wasn’t saying that-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "Nah, I know, I just meant that… he shot me, I just-", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "Yeah, ya know maybe, he made me get on the ground, and I didn’t feel safe in this game.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Mary-Beth", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 38 + } + ], + "girl-acting-pregnant": [ + { + "speaker": "Girl acting Pregnant", + "text": "I’m supposed to meet my doctor here? Have ya seen him? He’s a very angry midget.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "actor": [ + { + "speaker": "Actor", + "text": "I’m not even in the scene!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "actress": [ + { + "speaker": "Actress", + "text": "Again!?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "michael-and-jim": [ + { + "speaker": "Michael and Jim", + "text": "[singing] It requires a dedication, all this love we feel needs no conversation. Divided, together, uh huh. Making love with each other, uh huh.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Michael and Jim", + "text": "[singing] Islands in the stream, that is what we are, no one in between, how can we be wrong? Sail away with me…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "kevin-&-oscar": [ + { + "speaker": "Kevin & Oscar", + "text": "One, two, three. [they lift and start to move a desk]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "all": [ + { + "speaker": "All", + "text": "Three, two, one. [very dim lights come on the tree]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + } + ], + "liquor-store-clerk": [ + { + "speaker": "Liquor Store Clerk", + "text": "It comes to $166.41.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Liquor Store Clerk", + "text": "Fifteen bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "bob-vance": [ + { + "speaker": "Bob Vance", + "text": "Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bob Vance", + "text": "Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bob Vance", + "text": "Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bob Vance", + "text": "Oh, hey. Listen up. We’re going to Poor Richard’s. Who’s in?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bob Vance", + "text": "Good Luck, honey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "phyllis,-meredith,-michael,-kevin": [ + { + "speaker": "Phyllis, Meredith, Michael, Kevin", + "text": "One, two, three. [do a shot]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "captain-jack": [ + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Actually, I’m the Skipper. But you can be Gilligan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "I am Captain Jack, I am captain of the ship. I’m also captain of anyone who sets foot on the ship. [to boarding passengers] Hi, welcome aboard.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Okay, all right! Welcome aboard! I am your captain, Captain Jack.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Okay! So…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Please. The life preservers.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "They are located underneath the seats, all along the border of the boat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Well, we might, okay? Please let me finish, okay? Thank you. So, the Coast Guard requires that I tell you where the safety exits are. On this ship, it’s very easy. Anywhere over the side. [Dwight laughs loudly.] Not only am I your ship captain, I am also your party captain! Whoo! We’re gonna get it going in just a few minutes here…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Okay, Michael, if you don’t mind…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Please, okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Your company’s employees are not the only people on the boat tonight, okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Why don’t you let me and my crew do our job. You just sit back and have a good time. All right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Not now, Mike, we’re doing the limbo! That’s right, partiers, it’s time to limbo, limbo, limbo!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "All right! I need a volunteer to come up here and hold my stick. Who’s it gonna be?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Okay…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Uh… usually it’s a woman.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Hey, I got an idea! How would you like to steer the ship, Dwight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Keep us on a steady course. Keep a sharp eye out. I’m counting on you!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "All right, all right, that was great! Now it’s time for the dance contest!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Nope! Dance contest!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "So, what’s this presentation all about?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Women and children.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "That’s a stupid analogy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Well, I was the captain of a PC-1 Cyclone Coastal Patrol Boat during Desert Storm.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Suppose your office building’s on fire. Jim, who would you save?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "He’s just sucking up!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Oh yeah, oh yeah. And I wasn’t thinking about some customer. I was thinking about my first wife. The day I got back on shore, I married her.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "We gotta celebrate! Hey, I got an idea, I got an idea. I can marry you right now, as captain of the ship!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "This is where Captain Jack drives the boat.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Hey! Hey! What the hell is going on here?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "We can go back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Perch, bass.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "I haven’t heard that, Dwight.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "That’s good to know, Dwight. Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Captain Jack", + "text": "Yeah! All right. All right. That was awesome. All right, looks like the guitar player’s gonna take a little break. So this’d be a great time to head on over to the taco bar. All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "brenda": [ + { + "speaker": "Brenda", + "text": "Yeah. Everybody’s really nice.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Brenda", + "text": "When are you going to start the presentation?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Brenda", + "text": "Really? What?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Brenda", + "text": "Jan said if you asked me that I was supposed to say no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Brenda", + "text": "Sure…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Brenda", + "text": "I mean, no.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 29 + }, + { + "speaker": "Brenda", + "text": "Yeah, I know Toby from Jan’s birthday.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "darryl-and-katy": [ + { + "speaker": "Darryl and Katy", + "text": "[chanting] Snorkel shot! Snorkel shot!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 11, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "jim-and-pam": [ + { + "speaker": "Jim and Pam", + "text": "Oh my God!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 30 + } + ], + "billy-merchant": [ + { + "speaker": "Billy Merchant", + "text": "So, there are just a couple things I want to remind everybody of…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy Merchant", + "text": "First is parking. You can’t block the freight entrance with your car, even if your blinkers are on. Does anybody have any questions? [to Dwight, whose arms is raised] Yes. Yeah? yes…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy Merchant", + "text": "You know what Michael?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy Merchant", + "text": "Let me stop you right there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy Merchant", + "text": "And leave.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy Merchant", + "text": "What’s wrong with that guy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy Merchant", + "text": "No, not Michael. The moon-faced kid who crashed into the pole. He looks like he has a concussion.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "doctor": [ + { + "speaker": "Doctor", + "text": "A head injury.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Doctor", + "text": "[to Dwight] So, I’m ordering a CAT scan.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Doctor", + "text": "Well, for a burn, you really just need to look at the outside of the foot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Doctor", + "text": "Does the skin look red and swollen?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Doctor", + "text": "We need to get your friend into the CT machine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "lab-tech": [ + { + "speaker": "Lab Tech", + "text": "Ok, no electronics past this point. Camera, sound equipment…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Lab Tech", + "text": "No metal of any kind.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Lab Tech", + "text": "Ok Mr. Schrute, inhale with me on three. One, two, uh Sir? [Michael tries to put his leg in the scanner] Stop that. Stop. Stop that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 12, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "dana": [ + { + "speaker": "Dana", + "text": "Hey I’m Dana. Welcome to Hooters.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dana", + "text": "And for you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dana", + "text": "Oh, it’s great. It’s served with our world famous wing sauce.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dana", + "text": "Is that what you really want?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dana", + "text": "Great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dana", + "text": "Here you go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dana", + "text": "And I understand we have a birthday today.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dana", + "text": "Ready girls? Front side.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dana", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "hooter’s-girls": [ + { + "speaker": "Hooter’s Girls", + "text": "You put your front side in; you put your front side out. You put your front side in and shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about. Whoo, hoo!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 16 + } + ], + "phylis": [ + { + "speaker": "Phylis", + "text": "Angela who would you choose Jim or Roy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "gil": [ + { + "speaker": "Gil", + "text": "Who’s this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Gil", + "text": "Gil.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 13, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "pam-and-others": [ + { + "speaker": "Pam and others", + "text": "[after going in to check out the smell] Phew. Oh! No, mm-mm. [leaving quickly]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "ed": [ + { + "speaker": "Ed", + "text": "Yeah. Should we go upstairs?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ed", + "text": "So, what’s the problem with my pension?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ed", + "text": "Well, what was done?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ed", + "text": "Yeah, somebody once did that in my office.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ed", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ed", + "text": "You can’t expect to be friends with everybody.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ed", + "text": "No. They’ll always think of you as a boss first.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ed", + "text": "I’m not sure that ever happens.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Ed", + "text": "Why can’t your workers be your workers, family be your family, your friends be your friends?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 18 + } + ], + "todd": [ + { + "speaker": "Todd", + "text": "Hey, did you get that package I left for you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "jim’s-voicemail": [ + { + "speaker": "Jim’s voicemail", + "text": "You have seven unheard messages.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 14, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "women": [ + { + "speaker": "Women", + "text": "[general murmuring of agreement]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + } + ], + "guy": [ + { + "speaker": "Guy", + "text": "I hate that too! [general clapping and agreement]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Guy", + "text": "It totally sucks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Guy", + "text": "You know you’re right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Guy", + "text": "Come on, man.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Guy", + "text": "I thought there was a party in here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Guy", + "text": "This is room 308?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "men": [ + { + "speaker": "Men", + "text": "[generalized clapping]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 33 + } + ], + "group-chant": [ + { + "speaker": "Group chant", + "text": "Michael, Michael, Michael, Mi…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 41 + } + ], + "all-the-men": [ + { + "speaker": "All the Men", + "text": "Generalized mumbling agreement. Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "dwight-and-roy": [ + { + "speaker": "Dwight and Roy", + "text": "[at the same time] Guns.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 15, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "delivery-man": [ + { + "speaker": "Delivery man", + "text": "Would you sign here? [Phyllis gets up from desk and walks over.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Delivery man", + "text": "Phyllis Lapin.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Delivery man", + "text": "It’s from Bob.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Delivery man", + "text": "No, it’s not.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Delivery man", + "text": "[with flowers] Can you sign?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "craig": [ + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "What’s up buddy?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "Guilty, yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "Oh man, Jan, called me in September and said “You gotta fire four people,” and I was just like, “What?” Ya know?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "No, I just ignored her. She’s the worse.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "She ain’t my boss dude. I don’t work for that bitch.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "What? You like Jan? How can you like Jan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "Yeah. Here’s the deal. I did not understand this was supposed to be a full on… like report or whatnot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "I was under the impression this was, more of like… a meet and greet type deal.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "That is correct, yes.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Craig", + "text": "Oh man, you know what? Michael made that stupid movie, he doesn’t get into any trouble? Maybe I should have slept with you, too. [David looks at Jan, who glares at Michael.]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 11 + } + ], + "josh": [ + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Michael Scott. [sticks out hand for handshake]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "You know Dan Gore from Buffalo.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Not much, they’re uh, I guess running late upstairs, so we’re just waiting for the presentations.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "What about you, Craig, you lose anyone?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Did you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "She is our boss.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "You hooked up with Jan?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Yeah, let’s change the subject.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Nice to meet you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "So with the twelve new local accounts, we had a total of four percent organic growth, which was just above our pre-year targets.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "So, end of day we are going to have a little diversity policy refresher, because of some more problems at the Scranton branch. And I have a list of business startups I got from the chamber. Yes, I am going to need someone to cold call them.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Hey, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Pretty good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 11, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Listen, Michael, I heard you were a great salesman.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "And I just want to let you know that if our branch absorbs your branch, I’m going to look for a place for you at Stamford.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "We should probably head on down and hook up with Jan.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "A shot of MIDORI, perhaps.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Um, we should…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "All right, Jan just emailed me. She wants us to meet her up front.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Yeah, stop by later.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Jim got us a great lead with a new rep from National Envelope. We can grab lunch with them tomorrow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Well, Jim and I have a meeting with Uni-ball in about forty-five minutes, so we should probably go now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "I don’t think so.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Fine! All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Or what? We didn’t bet anything, Michael.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Yeah, we should go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "We gotta go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Uh… we’ll do it later.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "They’re exclusive with Staples.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Yes, I’m aware of Jan and Michael’s… history. Um, I don’t really like to talk about it ’cause it’s unprofessional. Kind of gross.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "What? Uh, no. [to Jim] Uh, I want you to make sure you call Karen and get her to fax that vendor list over.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Um… When I was in the Coast Guard, a couple of us broke into the women’s barracks and we got arrested for trespassing.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "[stunned]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Can we do it over breakfast? It’ll be…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Thanks, but maybe another time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "[sounding upset] Andy, Jim, can I see you in the conference room for a minute?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Yes now.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "This is not working, ok? We are getting slaughtered out there.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "We just need a strategy, ok? We’re going to set up a trap in the gun room. All right Jim, are you using the MP-40 or the 44?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "SNIPE–", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "JIM!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "You don’t snipe in Carrington, ok?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Andy, it’s not—", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "What’s going on with Fairfield County schools? Karen, did you generate that price list?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Okay, just get it done. Jim, will you make sure?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Thank you, everyone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "All right. Think you guys should be all set. Oh, here’s the corporate card for dinner.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "And Karen? Let’s keep it to twenty dollars a person this time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Sure, what’s up?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "I honestly don’t. I don’t know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "You know what, Jim, I wouldn’t worry about it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Jan, hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Wow. Uh, sure. Absolutely.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Excuse me, Jan, I’m sorry… I’m gonna have to stop you there. I, um, will not be taking the job.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "As of today, I have accepted a senior managment position at Staples.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "[nods]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "[sighs]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "I’m sorry, all right? It’s done, it’s done.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "Hey Andy!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Josh", + "text": "I just want to say thanks. Good luck.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "david": [ + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "David [to Josh and shakes hands]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "Nice to meet you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "OK. So we are in the process of doing a complete review of the company’s financial strengths. All I’d like to do today is to…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "Thanks very much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "OK, Michael.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "Wow. OK, OK, thank you Michael, that was great.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "But, for right now what, I would really like to know about is the branch’s performance, so do you have that information as well?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "So, does that mean you don’t have the numbers on your branch?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "You understand this is a very serious situation.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "You made a joke?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "Well I don’t need to explain to you that even a joke about sexual relations with your boss…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "David", + "text": "Good. [Michael leaves office]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "dan": [ + { + "speaker": "Dan", + "text": "And that about does it, thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "receptionist": [ + { + "speaker": "Receptionist", + "text": "Yes, sure. Mr. Scott, you can head to the conference room. The other managers are already there.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Receptionist", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 16, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "overhead": [ + { + "speaker": "Overhead", + "text": "[song] You all ready for this?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Overhead", + "text": "[song by Beyonce Knowles] Looking so crazy, my baby. I’m not myself lately. I’m foolish. I don’t do this. I’ve been playing myself. Baby I don’t care. Cuz your love got the best of me. And baby you’re making a fool of me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "speaker": [ + { + "speaker": "Speaker", + "text": "Next, I’d like to introduce the Dunder Mifflin Salesman of the Year, Dwight Schrute!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Speaker", + "text": "Dwight, how we doing?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 17, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "jim-and-dwight": [ + { + "speaker": "Jim and Dwight", + "text": "[in unison] That’s Batman.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "melissa": [ + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "I’m in eighth grade.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "I drink like, a hundred Ice Macchiatos a day, and practically nothing else.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "There’s a really cool coffee place, Jitters, at the Steamtown Mall. Ever been there?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "You’ve never been to Jitters? Ryan, you are so dorky. Gimme your number, so I can text you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "Come on! [Kelly glares through the door] You have an email address?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "So… you cut the paper and dye it and stuff.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "Wait, why doesn’t the saw mill just sell paper directly to people?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "You serious?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "What?!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "You know, I can go with him.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "Did you get married?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "Was Chet Montgomery cool back then?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "Who? Terry?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "That woman is not my mother. That is my step-mother.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "Learn what?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "Just give me two seconds, I’ll be done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Melissa", + "text": "Dude, seriously, just give me two seconds, I’ll be done.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "sasha": [ + { + "speaker": "Sasha", + "text": "Do you need any help?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sasha", + "text": "Sasha.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sasha", + "text": "Ooh! [picks up train whistle]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sasha", + "text": "Sure. [Sasha blows into whistle continously]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sasha", + "text": "[to Phyllis] Are you Mother Goose?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sasha", + "text": "What’s a Nazi?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sasha", + "text": "So, do you have any kids?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sasha", + "text": "So you didn’t get to be what you wanted to be.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 40 + } + ], + "abby": [ + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "No thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Yeah, but I’ve read it before.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Definitely the Aquarium.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Mmhmm!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Alright.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "That’s not fair. [the rest of the kids agree]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "That doesn’t sound like a show.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Why not?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 30 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "I’m gonna go read my book now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "…get you, I’m gonna get you! Come back here for more! [squealing]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Oh, I’m gonna get you!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Did you draw that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Yeah, I wanna be an artist when I grow up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "You are grown up.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Abby", + "text": "Thank you so much.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "jake": [ + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Do you have any computer games?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Yeah, Meredith doesn’t have any either. It’s so lame here.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Whatever, okay?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "That’s your name? Mister Poop?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Sure, Mister Poop. [Jake walks away]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Bye, Mister Poop.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "You’re just a middleman.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Do you have a girlfriend?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Even I have a girlfriend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 38 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Mister Poop, I have to tell you something.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "You’re ugly.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Meredith!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Is it okay if I take one?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Is your job hard?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "That’s so cool, yeah!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "That’s so awesome!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Yeah. I don’t know, maybe.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Yeah. Yeah, I do.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "I got some muscles. You wanna see the muscles? Bam! Look at that.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Can I have a quarter? I promise I’ll pay you back.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Can I have a dollar? Then I can buy chips and a drink.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jake", + "text": "Will you marry my mom?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 5 + } + ], + "the-kids": [ + { + "speaker": "The Kids", + "text": "[raising hands] I do, I do!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 18 + } + ], + "kids": [ + { + "speaker": "Kids", + "text": "Ewwww!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kids", + "text": "No way.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "miss-trudy": [ + { + "speaker": "Miss Trudy", + "text": "[from TV] …Bundle, are you ready to come on in? [TV children cheer] Let’s have some fun!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Miss Trudy", + "text": "Hi everyone, it’s one of my favorite times of the day.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 26 + } + ], + "edward-r.-meow": [ + { + "speaker": "Edward R. Meow", + "text": "…Recess! Hey, what’s your name?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Edward R. Meow", + "text": "Well hi Chet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Edward R. Meow", + "text": "What do you want to be when you grow up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Edward R. Meow", + "text": "Okay, next? So, whats your name?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Edward R. Meow", + "text": "Well what’s your favorite subject at school?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Edward R. Meow", + "text": "Ree-cesss. So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 23 + }, + { + "speaker": "Edward R. Meow", + "text": "[jaw drops, awkward pause] Uh, ah… oh, okay! Well uh, nice talking with you, Michael. Uh, back to you Miss Trudy!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 25 + } + ], + "chet": [ + { + "speaker": "Chet", + "text": "My name’s Chet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Chet", + "text": "I want to be on TV!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 16 + } + ], + "young-michael": [ + { + "speaker": "Young Michael", + "text": "Recess.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Young Michael", + "text": "I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I can have a hundred friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 18, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 24 + } + ], + "delivery-woman": [ + { + "speaker": "Delivery Woman", + "text": "Hi, delivery for Michael Scott.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Delivery Woman", + "text": "Uh… s-sure.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Delivery Woman", + "text": "Oh. Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "delivery-boy": [ + { + "speaker": "Delivery Boy", + "text": "Uh, we don’t make an eight foot sub. This is eight one foot subs.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Delivery Boy", + "text": "Uh, thirty-nine sixty.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "office-staff": [ + { + "speaker": "Office Staff", + "text": "[singing] Happy birthday dear Michael, [Michael joins in, Kevin’s phone rings] Happy birthday… [everyone but Dwight stops] …tooo youuuu.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "store-employee": [ + { + "speaker": "Store Employee", + "text": "Ma’am? Please don’t touch that. That is not a toy.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 19, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "linda": [ + { + "speaker": "Linda", + "text": "We test a lot of urine.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Linda", + "text": "Oh, right. How are you?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Linda", + "text": "Yeah, we do testing all over the country.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Linda", + "text": "You want to work at the urinalysis lab?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Linda", + "text": "We just need urine, sir.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "sheriff": [ + { + "speaker": "Sheriff", + "text": "He’ll be up. Okay, sure. I’ll get someone down.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sheriff", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sheriff", + "text": "Where sis you get that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sheriff", + "text": "No. No, you didn’t. we didn’t give you this.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sheriff", + "text": "You were never supposed to wear this in the first place, Dwight. Come on now, seriously, you got me concerned here a little bit.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sheriff", + "text": "Right, well… Why don’t you give me a couple examples of ways that you’ve helped us out?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sheriff", + "text": "Surveillance?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Sheriff", + "text": "Mace! You… You’ve been carrying around weapons-grade Mace?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 20, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 16 + } + ], + "i.d.-photographer": [ + { + "speaker": "I.D. Photographer", + "text": "Off.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 6, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "photographer": [ + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "[snaps a photo of Creed, then Creed turns to the side for a profile shot] No, you’re all good.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "Are you sure? [looks at Oscar, who is front of the camera, holding the baby poster in front of his chest]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "[shoots twice]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "[to Dwight, who is sitting in front of the camera] Smile.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "I can’t. I only get reimbursed for the I.D. photos.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "You mean digital?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "20 bucks.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "One, two, three… smile. [camera flashes, but no one smiles] Try to smile.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "Alright, I’m just gonna take it on three… whether you smile or not. One, two, three. [camera flashes]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "That’ll be another 20.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "[Dwight slurping] Okay, here we go. One, two…", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 62, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "So there were no death threats?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Photographer", + "text": "Would you seriously want your wedding photos to look like that?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 67, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "anglea": [ + { + "speaker": "Anglea", + "text": "I didn’t do it! [Michael and Stanley continue to talk off camera, but it’s inaudible]", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "female-worker": [ + { + "speaker": "Female worker", + "text": "Okay, Jan will see you now.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "hank-the-security-guard": [ + { + "speaker": "Hank the Security Guard", + "text": "Excuse me, sir! Dwight Schrute, is that your real name?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hank the Security Guard", + "text": "Good morning. Okay, go ahead.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 21, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "billy’s-girlfriend": [ + { + "speaker": "Billy’s Girlfriend", + "text": "I’m gonna get a drink. Do you need anything?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy’s Girlfriend", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "billy": [ + { + "speaker": "Billy", + "text": "No, I’m fine. Thank’s sweetheart.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy", + "text": "That’s my girlfriend.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy", + "text": "She was never my nurse. I met her at Chili’s. She was my waitress.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Billy", + "text": "It’s all on you, baby. Let’s go.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "dealer": [ + { + "speaker": "Dealer", + "text": "Okay, the game is No-Limit Texas Hold’em. Good luck, everybody. That’s at least four red chips to you, sir.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dealer", + "text": "No, I’m sorry. He can’t, sir. He’s gone all-in.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dealer", + "text": "Flip them.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dealer", + "text": "The point is four. Shooter, roll it. Four!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Dealer", + "text": "Five.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + } + ], + "bob": [ + { + "speaker": "Bob", + "text": "Yes!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 46, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bob", + "text": "Excuse me. Big moment. The evening’s chip leader and winner of this beautiful mini-refrigerator courtesy of Vance Refrigeration, Creed Bratton, Dunder Mifflin!", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bob", + "text": "Well settle down, Scott.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Bob", + "text": "What a pair of Mary’s.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 13 + } + ], + "deleted-scene-1-michael": [ + { + "speaker": "Deleted Scene 1 Michael", + "text": "Everybody, in the conference room now, please. Thank you. Time is money.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "meredith’s-vet": [ + { + "speaker": "Meredith’s Vet", + "text": "Hey. Meredith, right?", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith’s Vet", + "text": "I’m your vet.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Meredith’s Vet", + "text": "And we had sex in the parking lot.", + "season": 2, + "episode": 22, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 5 + } + ], + "andy": [ + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey, Big Tuna! You’re single right?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "She’s pretty hot huh? [Jim nods] She’s completely crazy. Steer clear Big Tuna. Head for open waters.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "OooOK.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Big Tuna is a super ambitious guy, you know? Cut your throat to get ahead kind of guy, but I mean I’m not threatened by him. I went to Cornell, you ever heard of it? [laughs] I graduated in four years. I never studied once. I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the acappella group, “Here Comes Treble.”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "OK. Who put my calculator in Jello? Good one. But uh, seriously, guys who did this? Seriously guys, who did this? I need to know who put my calculator in Jello, or I’m gonna lose MY FRICKIN’ MIND!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey, Big Tuna. You ever Google Google? What do you think would happen?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[makes frustrated noises]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I didn’t mean you should do it. You were supposed to ponder it. It’s… You removed the fun. Thanks a lot, Big Tuna.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Why did you do that?!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "We’re on the German team. Shoot the Brittish.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Now?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Put the game on hold everyone.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "It’s the new guy. [looks at Jim]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "See what I mean?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "WHAT?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Are you playing for the other team?!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Saboteur!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Saboteur! I’m going to kill you for real. This game— the game is over. I’m really going to shoot you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[coughing out his words] Suck up! Josh, did you hear what I said?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey. What are we doing? What’s the game? I want in.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Did you check the vending machine?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Did you check your… butt?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey, Big Tuna, can I talk to you for a second.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Can you stand up? And talk to me over there?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I’m acting my heart out here.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yeah, really. You asked for my help, so I helped.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I don’t care ’bout anything but you… what ever happened to those guys?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yo, mama! Ask me how bad I wanted to bone Jennifer Grey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Seriously, you guys, ask me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Let’s just say, me and Jennifer Grey probably would’ve broken a few laws.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "We have such a roller coaster thing, Karen and I.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Roller-coastery friendship. Hot. Cold. On again. Off again. Sexual tension filled type of deal. It’s very Sam and Diane.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "From ‘Cheers’.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "You guys ready to party?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I said are you ready TO PARTY!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey, Big Tuna, you ready?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "One. Two. Three. Shot!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Oh, that burns! Golly. Um…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "One. Two. Three. Shot!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[sings Indigo Girls] I went to the doctor. I went to the mountains. I looked to the children…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[sings] I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Wait, wait.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "TUNA! Are you kidding me!!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "No way, dude. I am not driving home. I have brought an inflatable bed for just such occasions. You’re welcome to share it though. It’s a roomy twin.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "At Cornell, in my fraternity, my house name was “Hubble” because I was so good at finding a party. I was like a powerful space telescope, so… Freshman year, when my skin was still really bad, they called me El Guapo.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yeah. Big Tuna, tuna?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[speechless]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Didn’t see that coming.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Um, sorry… the Scranton branch is closing? [Karen nods and Andy looks at Jim] In your face!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Mmmm.. suck-ah!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[surrounded by clapping coworkers] Stamford, Connecticut! Stamford, Connecticut!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[after screaming and throwing papers around in the kitchen] What’s up, Josh?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Thanks, man. You, too. Totally.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[to office worker] That’s the other thing you got to watch out… [to Jim] Yo! Tuna! I wanna talk to you about this new boss, Michael Scott.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "So what’s he like? Likes? Dislikes? Favorite sports? Favorite movies? Favorite men’s magazines?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Playing your cards close to the vest. I get it. Good luck over there, Tuna. Cross me and I will destroy you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I’ll be the Number Two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake. I’m always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter that makes stairs.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hello.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "And you must be Michael Scott. Aloha and… hello.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Michael, thank you for welcoming me to your little kingdom, Mike.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Nifty!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Michael Scott. Thank you. I appreciate it, Mike.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Andy Bernard. Regional Director in Charge of Sales.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Umm, on the contrary.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "And I’m a director.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Which on a film set is the highest title there is. Do you know anything about film?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Congratulations.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey, buddy. Anything new to report?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Sure thing, buddy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Am I trying to get under his skin? Yes. Because the angrier he gets, the more marginalized he becomes. Meanwhile, Andy Bernard is out there layin’ on the charm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey, Angela. Check this out. It’s my new screen saver.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Do you like it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Thank you. You have such a pretty smile by the way.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "You’re welcome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[sings drum beat intro to ‘What is Love?’]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[sings] What is love?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Baby, don’t hurt me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Baby, don’t hurt me!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Whoa-oh-oh-oh", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Whoa-oh-oh-oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Oh, probably because of all the nose candy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Dwight may have won the battle. But I will win… the next battle.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Michael, I would just like to say you have handled this entire situation with great aplomb.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Saw your dorkmobile in the parking lot. What does it get, like four miles to the gallon?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yeah, my Xterra’s pretty sweet. Luxurious, yet rugged. Leave it to the Japanese.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Actually, it is. It’s Latin for “earth.”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yeah, I bet you would. Oh, by the way, 1985 called. It wants its car back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Oh, speaking of time machines, I just got back from the future and I went to your funeral and, guess what, nobody came.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Oh, that was a really well constructed sentence. You should be an English professor at Cor-not University.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "If I were an idiot, I’d be driving a TransAm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 15 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[coughs word] Idiot!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 17 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[coughs sentence] Nice comeback!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 61, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[approaching Kevin to shake hand] Hi, Andy Bernard.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Nice to meet you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "That is a penguin. You like it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Andy, or Andrew.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Ha, that’s why I wore this shirt.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 66, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey Kevin.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Have you lost weight?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I know, but you just give off the vide of a guy who’s getting thinner.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "You’re welcome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 70, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[gets up] I’ll do it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[turns over card] King of hearts.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[claps] That was fantastic.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 73, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "It is inspiring to me to watch you navigate these murky waters.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 76, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[over phone] I am so horny.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Oh, I think you can, Big Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Oh, and I care why?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Next. How about… [motions toward Angela]. Blondes are more fun. C’mon, trust me on that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Okay fine. Um. Pam, the receptionist. Paaam. Should I go for it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Jackpot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "All… righty, let’s get started. What is she into?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Are you kidding?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I started the main Frisbee golf club at Cornell. Where I went to college. I live to frolf.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Pam-a-lama-ding-dong. Listen, you’re cute. There is no gettin’ around it. So… I don’t know if you like country music, but I was thinking maybe one of these days we could drive out to a field, crank up some tunes, smoke a few Macanudos… maybe even toss a disk around. Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Shh. Think about it. I’ll hit you back.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I play the banjo.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[singing] You know I can, my man.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I’m gonna go get my banjo out of my car.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Wow. Prison sounds horrible.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[singing] So we’ve been told, and some choose to believe it, I know they’re wrong, wait and see, ’cause one day we’ll find it, the ainbowray onnectionkay, the lovers, the dreamers, and meeee…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yo, Michael, sweet ride Mike.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 4, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Michael", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "If I may say. She’s even prettier that you described her.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey, what’s the haps? [Dwight shuts door in his face.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Umm… I’m number three.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Yeah, but I’m number three.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Hey. I can’t concentrate when I know you’re in pain, man. Let me take you to lunch. [Michael sighs.] C’mon, my treat.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "That’s my boy. I know the perfect place, too.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "No. Benihana. Much classier. But don’t worry, the babes are totally hot, too. [do a fist bump and explosion]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 25, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "So she looks really hot, so I said, “You look hotter than usual today.” [to waitress] Thank you. Michael [gesturing to sit down.] Head of the table.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "So she looks at me right, and she goes, “I’m sorry, don’t I even know you?” After a year, a year of buying lattes from her, do you believe that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Put that away. Put that away. S.O.S. We… I… May day. Haha. Man down over here, [to waitress] we need your help.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I think we’ll start with a round of noga-sakes. [waitress gives confused look]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 29, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "One part eggnog, three parts sake. Some places won’t make it for you though, because eggnog is seasonal.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Wait for the onion. Trust me. Hey Cindy, he just had his heart broken, you wouldn’t do that to him, would you?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "You made her laugh. Yes! She totally digs us. [referring to what chef is doing] Watch, watch, watch, watch. [Onions smoke up] Heh, heh? What did I tell ‘ya?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "This drink… [in audible conversation with Michael]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Cindy, Cindy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I want you to close your eyes and imagine your dream house. [Cindy laughs] C’mon, do it for Michael. He’s had a really long day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "This is great.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Now open your eyes and describe it to me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "[referring to waitresses] They have been checking us out, all night! I am not kidding!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Now, you are thinking. Yes. And you know what? Because you have had such a rough day, you get Cindy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "My new girlfriend.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "Your hands.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy", + "text": "I’ll use my hands on it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "karen": [ + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Jim’s nice enough. I dont… I don’t know how well he’s fitting in here. He’s always looking at the camera like this. [makes classic “Jim”-camera face] What is that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 1, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[laughing] Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Scared?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[with her hands making the rocker sign] Call of Duty!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[whispering] Look how cute he is! He’s trying to shoot with a smoke grenade.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "I’m sorry nothing, just concentrate on turning around.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Just tap S then D.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[her players gun is pointed directly at Jim’s player’s head] Any… last words? No?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[throws some desk material in the air to signify debris from the grenade explosion, grins as Jim walks away]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 3, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Um, shoot. Uh, I will. Sorry.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 7, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[at vending machine] Dammit.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Uh, nothing. They’re just out of Herr’s chips.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "But don’t worry about it. My snack food doesn’t fall under the umbrella of your authority.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Okay, great. I think that’s enough. Can I get back to work now?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "I am NOT a quitter. I will do this all day if you want.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, all day.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh, the vending machines! How did we miss that?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Mm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, nothing there.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[laughing] Six?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "I’m calling a supermarket in Montreal.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[on phone] Bonjour. Je cherche des tchips de la marque Herr’s. Non? Ah… merci quand meme. Au revoir.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[spotting Herr’s chips on her desk] Where’d you find them?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[squeaky chair] Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "My chair is squeaking.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "You took my chair.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "When you get up, I’m just going to take it back anyway, so…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 10, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "That’s it? That’s what you came up with?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Really?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[rocks in squeaky chair]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "stop.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "This is not fair, this is going to be in my head all day. Please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "This is not a proportionate response.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Look, I’ve never seen a Clint Eastwood movie.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "But if you said “Go ahead, make my day,” I would know that it’s from “Dirty Harry”. How can you not know that’s from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "You didn’t know that “Bueller?” was from Ferris Bueller?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Nice basket.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh. Did you shake it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Got it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Ooh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Andy, no acappella.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh, come on, guys. Please.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "It’s not good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Goodnight, guys.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Hey dummy, get in the car!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yes, you are. Here. Let me take that. Just… uh… get in the car.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, you can’t.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Sure. Here’s your bag. Just don’t puke on anything. You okay?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Good.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[looking for Jim’s sushi] Eel… eel.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Who are you faxing so early in the morning?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Hey, um… did you hear about your friends in Pennsylvania? Rumor has it that the Scranton Branch is… [clicks her tongue to her mouth motions chopping off a head]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 9, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "What you gonna do?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "You know, I’m fine. I’ll be better when I know if I have a job.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, if they let me, I think I… I think I would.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, you know… I might do that. I, who knows? I… I might do that.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Okay, yeah. Maybe I will.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, I’m happy he said that. I mean, I don’t think he’s into me or anything, but, I’m kind of into him. So…there you go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "This is going to be an adventure.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Right on. [to Andy] Hey is that Josh’s computer?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Karen. I love your sweater.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Really? That’s so cool. I’ve always wanted to learn…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "…to knit.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Uh wait, are you a robot or a Martian?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[recording phone message] This is Karen Filippelli. Please leave a message.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[recording] This is Karen Filippelli. Please leave a message.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[recording] [in bad Italian accent] Dis is Kar-en Fill-uh-pel-li. Please leava me da message. A bon danza.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Mm-hm.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[recording phone message] Karen Filippelli.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Uh, what’s that smell?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Must be an… air freshener plugged in somewhere. It smells like a funeral home.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh, you know. Never… .never mind.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "I… I… I, uh, think I’m just allergic to your perfume.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "It’s just my crazy nose. I’m… uh, used to different smells.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Who’s Bob Vance?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 44, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Shouldn’t we be equals?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Does Bob Vance work for Vance Refrigeration?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 53, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "How are we going to get home?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[off camera] I’m at the grocery store buying a corkscrew to give myself a lobotomy.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh my god! Hey! You want to meet at Cooper’s in an hour? I need a drink.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Ok.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 58, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Hey, nice thermos.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Uh no, I’m fine, thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, I’m okay, thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 65, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "…Almost done?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 2, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Hey I got one.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Jesus.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "You can’t give paperclips to a baby. He could swallow.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 19, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "What is going on?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "I love it. I want in. Who’s the target?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Perfect. What do I do? Just give me an assignment.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Demen-Dementors like in Harry Potter?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 21 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Uh, so I had a couple of ideas to make the Stamford people feel more at home. Each year we have a Christmas raffle … [Phyllis and Pam nod their heads in agreement].", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Ok … um, another idea was karaoke …", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "A Christmas drinking game …", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "You’re kidding.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 16, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, right? I’m so glad you said that. Because, I don’t know how those meetings usually go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Does anyone ever stand up to Angela or..?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh cool, yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh, thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, we do a raffle…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 20, + "quote": 12 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "What’s your funding?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Umm, two hundred and one dollars.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh, I understand that this is confusing for everyone, let me explain. There’s a party that starts at three.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 14 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "And then there’s a way more fun party that starts at two forty-five.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 22, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "I think that’s a really good option…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "He’s cute. You should date him.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 34, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yup.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[Stanley gets up and walks towards the break room.] All right Stanley. Woo.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Lots of it! [Meredith leaves to break room party.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 19 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Are we taking this too far? You know what, I don’t think we’re taking this far enough. [Pam and Karen look at each other] What?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Hey, so what’s the status.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh, you’re kidding me?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Oh, you guys, guys, um… I’m sorry, but there’s a problem with the karaoke machine. [everyone sighs]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "[Karen and Pam enter] Dwight, you won the raffle! [holds out gift]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Open it! Open it ! Open it! [Dwight rips open present. Angela is upset and Pam notices]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Do you like it?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Well the Committee to Plan Parties has served its purpose. We’re gonna disband. In the name of Christmas.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Angela, we’ve been hearing really great thing about uh… your brownies and we were hoping you’d consider merging into two parties.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Yeah, thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "OK.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 56, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "No way. [both hold up Bridget Jones’ Diary movie DVD]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "And now we get to remember it forever.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "Thank you. [Both hug]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 63, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Karen", + "text": "We didn’t have a party planning committee in Stamford. Somebody would just volunteer to run out to Carvel and pick up an ice cream cake. So the fact that they have a committee here, fascinating.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 75, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "jerome-bettis": [ + { + "speaker": "Jerome Bettis", + "text": "All right.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jerome Bettis", + "text": "Thanks. I appreciate it, guys.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jerome Bettis", + "text": "All right, maybe. If I can.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Jerome Bettis", + "text": "No, you cannot.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 21, + "quote": 9 + } + ], + "ted": [ + { + "speaker": "Ted", + "text": "I’ll see you soon.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "waiter": [ + { + "speaker": "Waiter", + "text": "Wow, oh my God, thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 5 + } + ], + "jim,-josh,-and-dwight": [ + { + "speaker": "Jim, Josh, and Dwight", + "text": "Hi, Pam.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 13 + } + ], + "evan": [ + { + "speaker": "Evan", + "text": "Say, while I have you here, could I talk to you about some new and exciting advances to our product line?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Evan", + "text": "That is so true. Ready?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Evan", + "text": "Great.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Evan", + "text": "Are we early?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Evan", + "text": "Hey, uh… Arnie Reisman. Michael, Jim.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 27 + }, + { + "speaker": "Evan", + "text": "Do you guys work together?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 41, + "quote": 29 + } + ], + "alan": [ + { + "speaker": "Alan", + "text": "Oh, great.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Alan", + "text": "Well, I just, uh… I kinda think about stuff that I see, or dream them.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Alan", + "text": "See, this one is great, because it can work on a couple of different levels.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Alan", + "text": "[French accent] Freedom fries for the table.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Alan", + "text": "Yeah. I mean, people always say, like, “Don’t be edgy.” But I don’t know any other way. Yeah, you get it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Alan", + "text": "Yeah. Next time bring some of your illustrations, I’ll let you pick my brain.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Alan", + "text": "Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Alan", + "text": "Okay.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 2, + "scene": 39, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "ryan-and-others": [ + { + "speaker": "Ryan and others", + "text": "Yeah. Yes, it’s better. It’s great.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 18 + } + ], + "hannah": [ + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Hey Jimmy. Want to see some pictures of my baby?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "[shows picture] Here he is.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "And here’s his first bath. Warning:", + "season": 3, + "episode": 4, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Hello?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 12, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "My bag’s mostly pencils.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "[using breast pump] Take a picture. It’ll last longer.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 42, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Look what’s on his computer.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "It’s my left breast.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Tony was right. This environment is dysfunctional.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 51, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "For crying out loud.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "When do people work?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "[pushing back desk item] Here you go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Um", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Yeah, I mean my stuff’s coming over, but umm… is this…is this yours? [holds up travel mug]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 69, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "He.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "That’s his favorite color.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Thank youuu.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Uh, sure!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 1, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Shh!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 28, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "Why would I be disappointed?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Hannah", + "text": "[tries to break nut on a Nutcracker doll] These nuts are really hard to crack.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 45, + "quote": 18 + } + ], + "announcer": [ + { + "speaker": "Announcer", + "text": "Attention Scranton Business Park, there will be complimentary pretzels in the lobby from now until 4 o’clock as a thank you to our loyal tenants.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "pretzel-guy": [ + { + "speaker": "Pretzel guy", + "text": "We do.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pretzel guy", + "text": "And we have 18 different toppings. We have sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar, chocolate, white chocolate, fudge, M&M’s, caramel dip, mint chip, chocolate chip, marshmallow, nuts, toffee nuts, coconuts, peanut butter drizzle, Oreos, sprinkles, cotton candy bits, and powdered sugar.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Pretzel guy", + "text": "The Works. You got it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 7 + } + ], + "cousin-mose": [ + { + "speaker": "Cousin Mose", + "text": "Bye, Ryan. He seemed nice.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 5, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "tony": [ + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Karen, my chips got stuck in the vending machine again. I need your skinny, little arms.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Yeah, I shook it, I shook it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Gardner.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 14, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Uh… this is difficult, for me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "No. I mean I can’t physically. I can’t get on the table.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "[starts to climb table]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "No, please. No.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "All right. All right. Stop. Put me down.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 16 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Let me go!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 18 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Put me down right…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 20 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Put me down!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 22 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Put me down right now!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 24 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "I’VE HAD ENOUGH!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 26 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW or else!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 28 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "I’m sorry!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 32 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "It’s just not going to work for me.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 34 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "I have to go.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 36 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "I was on the fence about this and… it’s just not a good fit.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 38 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "I can’t work here. I have to quit.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 40 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "No. Toby was helpful. He was very kind. It’s just your management style.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "No. Was it supposed to be funny?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "Excuse me?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Tony", + "text": "But there’s nothing in my desk except coupons.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "server": [ + { + "speaker": "Server", + "text": "It’s all vegetarian.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 23, + "quote": 3 + } + ], + "girls": [ + { + "speaker": "Girls", + "text": "[laugh] Kelly Zach Braff [speaks in Hindi]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 26, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "kelly’s-mom": [ + { + "speaker": "Kelly’s Mom", + "text": "Stop it right now. Ryan is a temporary worker, makes no money. Wally is a whole doctor. So handsome.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly’s Mom", + "text": "He’s a perfect match.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly’s Mom", + "text": "She is very fair.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly’s Mom", + "text": "So you’re saving money…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly’s Mom", + "text": "…to start a family and home.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "kelly’s-father": [ + { + "speaker": "Kelly’s Father", + "text": "Yes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly’s Father", + "text": "How long have you been married to the cheerleader?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 33, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Kelly’s Father", + "text": "Is there anything you wanted to ask us tonight?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 37, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "young-man": [ + { + "speaker": "Young Man", + "text": "Is it? He’s really outgoing, huh?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 38, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "andy-and-jim": [ + { + "speaker": "Andy and Jim", + "text": "[sing] There’s more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy and Jim", + "text": "[sing] the less I seek my source…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy and Jim", + "text": "[sing] the closer I am to fi-i-i-ne. The closer I am to..", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 8 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy and Jim", + "text": "[sing] fi-i-i-ine!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 40, + "quote": 10 + } + ], + "mrs.-kapoor": [ + { + "speaker": "Mrs. Kapoor", + "text": "No Police cover.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "mr.-kapoor": [ + { + "speaker": "Mr. Kapoor", + "text": "[nods]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 6, + "scene": 48, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "dwight-": [ + { + "speaker": "Dwight ", + "text": "When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael’s book is, “Something Weird is Going On.” Colon, “What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story. By Michael Scott, with Dwight Schrute.”", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 8, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "m-ichael": [ + { + "speaker": "M ichael", + "text": "Excuse me, Mr. Wallace? David Wallace?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "michael-": [ + { + "speaker": "Michael ", + "text": "Can you tell us why you are shutting down Scranton and putting 15 people out of work?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 7, + "scene": 32, + "quote": 8 + } + ], + "martin": [ + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "…which is why they need a passing game.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Oh! Thanks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 18, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Hey! Why doesn’t your car have a flat tire?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 6 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "[to Stanley] What’s up with this guy?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 54, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Is he always like this?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 55, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "[sniffs. Pans to Creed eating his mungbeans.]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 68, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Thank you.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 74, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Good. Getting settled, you know?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 13, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "So… you all wanna know what I was in for?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Um, I really don’t mind. It was a stupid mistake. I was working in finance and, I… got involved in some insider trading. So, I spent a little time in the clink.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 15, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Not terrible. Boring. We do the same thing every day. But… at least we got outdoors time.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Two hours, every day. Sometimes we’d play pickup football games…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Not good. Uh… a little bit bigger than Michael’s office… but, you know, I really only slept there. You know, during the day, there-our time’s our own. They had uh, classes, I took some… watercolor classes.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Yeap. Yeah.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "They did, taught by some uh, Harvard business school guys–a lot of the guys also, that were in the class, the inmates, a lot of them have gone on to do extraordinary things in business.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 17, + "quote": 13 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Yeah, in the rec room.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Actually, our TV was bigger than that one.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 24, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Martin", + "text": "Yeah, that… wasn’t really… at all my experience. There were certain elements of what you performed, I’ve seen on television. But it didn’t remind me of my time in prison.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 9, + "scene": 27, + "quote": 24 + } + ], + "male-voice": [ + { + "speaker": "Male voice", + "text": "…thank you James. [laughs]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 30, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "michael-&-dwight": [ + { + "speaker": "Michael & Dwight", + "text": "in the Electric City!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 31, + "quote": 5 + } + ], + "andy-&-michael": [ + { + "speaker": "Andy & Michael", + "text": "Don’t hurt me! Baby, don’t hurt me!", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 10 + }, + { + "speaker": "Andy & Michael", + "text": "Whoa-oh-oh-oh! Whoa-oh-oh…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 8, + "scene": 47, + "quote": 16 + } + ], + "chef": [ + { + "speaker": "Chef", + "text": "No, it’s Usuba.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Chef", + "text": "Actually, the Usuba’s the better knife when you’re working with this quantity.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "woman-at-bar": [ + { + "speaker": "Woman at bar", + "text": "I think he’d know. [Dwight and her stare at each other]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 35, + "quote": 6 + } + ], + "cindy": [ + { + "speaker": "Cindy", + "text": "I don’t know.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 36, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Cindy", + "text": "I… don’t know, it has four bed rooms and a loft…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 43, + "quote": 15 + } + ], + "second-cindy": [ + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "That rocks.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "Thanks! I, I wanna give you something.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 49, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "Is he the hot one or the giant baby?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "I thought I could have it.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 50, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "You know where I am.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "Oh.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 60, + "quote": 4 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "Hey.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 1 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "Hey. This party blows, so we’re gonna leave.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "Cool…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 5 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "I… We’re just gonna take off.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 7 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "No… I have school. [leaves with other waitress and bicycle]", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 9 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "Merry Christmas.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 64, + "quote": 11 + }, + { + "speaker": "Second Cindy", + "text": "Hi.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 88, + "quote": 2 + } + ], + "other-waitress": [ + { + "speaker": "Other waitress", + "text": "Do I agree about what?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 2 + }, + { + "speaker": "Other waitress", + "text": "What’re you talking about?", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 52, + "quote": 4 + } + ], + "andy-and-michael": [ + { + "speaker": "Andy and Michael", + "text": "[singing] And if you want love, we’ll make it. Swim in a big sea of blankets. Take all your big plans and break ’em. This is bound to take awhile. Your body is a wonderland. [Michael notices Cindy ride up to him on the bike and looks confused] Your body is a wonderland.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 1 + } + ], + "both": [ + { + "speaker": "Both", + "text": "Your body is a wonderland.", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 3 + }, + { + "speaker": "Both", + "text": "Something ’bout the way your hair falls in your face…", + "season": 3, + "episode": 10, + "scene": 57, + "quote": 5 + } + ] +} \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/server/data/main_characters.json b/server/data/main_characters.json new file mode 100644 index 0000000..70def1c --- /dev/null +++ b/server/data/main_characters.json @@ -0,0 +1,139 @@ +Michael +Dwight +Jim +Pam +Jan +Ryan +Angela +Kevin +Toby +Oscar +Phyllis +Kelly +Roy +Stanley +Andy +Karen +Katy +Creed +Darryl +Carol +Meredith +Josh +Todd Packer +Martin +David +Devon +Bill +Hank +Sasha +Song +Brenda +Bob Vance +Linda +Dealer + Kelly’sMom + Documentary CrewMember +Waitress +Video +Billy +Bob + JeromeBettis + Andy andJim + WarehouseWorker + Guy AtBar + Dwight andMichael +Kid + Vance Refrigeration Worker #2 + LabTech + DeliveryWoman + Meredith’sVet + Pretzelguy + Kelly’sFather + Pam andJim +Albiny + WarehouseGuy +Everyone + Michael andChristian +Mark + Michael andJim + Liquor StoreClerk +Gil +Receptionist +Speaker +Overhead +Kids + MissTrudy +Chet + YoungMichael + DeliveryBoy + Hank the SecurityGuard + Billy’sGirlfriend + Andy &Michael +Chef +Cindy + Otherwaitress +Both + Jim: + Deleted Scene 3 Mr.Brown + TravelAgent +Teammates + Other Guy atBar +Employee + Kevin’sComputer + Warehouseguys + Man inVideo + Mr. O’MalleyChildren + Ryan’sVoicemail +Alyssa +Hostess + Girl actingPregnant +Actor +Actress + Kevin &Oscar +All +Phyllis +Meredith +Michael +Kevin + Darryl andKaty + Jim andPam + Hooter’sGirls +Phylis + Pam andothers +Todd + Jim’svoicemail +Women +Men + Groupchant + All theMen + Dwight andRoy +Dan + Jim andDwight + TheKids + OfficeStaff + StoreEmployee + I.D.Photographer +Anglea + Femaleworker + Deleted Scene 1Michael +Ted +Waiter +Jim +Josh + andDwight + Ryan andothers +Announcer + CousinMose +Server +Girls + YoungMan + Mrs.Kapoor + Mr.Kapoor + Dwight + Michael + Michael + Malevoice + Michael &Dwight + Woman atbar + Andy and Michael diff --git a/server/data/raw/2-21.txt b/server/data/raw/2-21.txt index 28c0075..d82fb1a 100644 --- a/server/data/raw/2-21.txt +++ b/server/data/raw/2-21.txt @@ -147,7 +147,7 @@ Toby|Sure. Michael|Stanley. [off camera] Pam|[gets up and walks over to Angela, whispering to her] Hey. Thanks for ratting me out! Michael|[still of camera] You got a lot of anger under there buddy. Come on start us out. Unleash it. -Anglea|I didn’t do it! [Michael and Stanley continue to talk off camera, but it’s inaudible] +Angela|I didn’t do it! [Michael and Stanley continue to talk off camera, but it’s inaudible] Pam|I find that hard to believe… considering you have problems with every single person in this entire office except Bobblehead Joe. - Michael|Someone complained that the men’s room is “whites only”. Stanley, you know that’s not true. diff --git a/server/data/raw/3-07.txt b/server/data/raw/3-07.txt index a16d321..4e83d1d 100644 --- a/server/data/raw/3-07.txt +++ b/server/data/raw/3-07.txt @@ -160,7 +160,7 @@ Michael|I will improvise. I will speak from the heart. Dwight|No. Bad idea. You need an attack plan. Here, I’ll be him, you be you. Let’s practice. Michael|All right. Dwight|[as David Wallace] Dum, dum, dum, dum… coming home from work. -M ichael|Excuse me, Mr. Wallace? David Wallace? +Michael|Excuse me, Mr. Wallace? David Wallace? Dwight|Yes? What is the meaning of this? Michael |Can you tell us why you are shutting down Scranton and putting 15 people out of work? Dwight|Well, the branch is no longer finicially viable. It’s simple dollars and cents.